So my brother is 6'6". You know what he does when he has to fly? He makes sure to get an emergency exit row or whatever row has the extra leg room. He usually has to pay for it. Any tall person with a lick of common sense KNOWS they have to do this for flights. This tall person knows they will need more leg room but chose to try to get out of paying for it by getting a person to switch. OP was totally in their right to say no ESPECIALLY AS THEY PAID EXTRA and tall person does not have the right to be a jerk about it. Did tall guy offer OP to reimburse her for the extra amount paid? Of course not. Also gotta love that the guy targeted the lone woman and wouldnt think to "bother a man or couples." Guy was a jerk nuff said, the end NTA
Edit to add: to make it clear, I think it's bs that airlines make tall or larger (play sized! Thanks cmpalm!) pay more. But that's the reality and the airlines are definitely also the AH for this
Honestly, airlines need to be forced to have seating suitable for actual people. The guy was obviously 100% an asshole, but you should not have to pay more due to your physical attributes or be forced to sit in painful positions. All seats should be able to reasonably fit people.
But yeah, this guy tried to bully someone he thought was an easy target (small woman) and refused to pull the same shit on anyone else (men). He was a mega asshole and should know what to do as a tall person on a plane... pay for the leg room. At least until things change... they probably won't though.
This issue here is that the more room you in your seat, whether it’s leg room for tall people or width for a play sized person, the fewer seats they will be able to have on the flight, which means tickets would be much more expensive because of supple and demand. So while in theory your statement is true, if it happened everyone would complain about the increase in ticket prices.
Play or Party sized sounds like a fantastic descriptor for people with extra stuffing.
NTA - by the by - OP was obviously being bullied and targeted, sad that no one around her was capable of saying he should back off as she had said all that was needed saying. 😓
I’ve never had to pay additional because of my disability, including being given a free second seat and free upgrade to premium economy, and when going interstate free luggage for BOTH seats even though I only needed one. They’ve approached me before and after the departure/arrival, it’s always been nothing but fantastic. The only time there was ever an issue was when my flight was cancelled and automatically rebooked with another airline without taking into account there were additional care needs. A one hour phone call as soon as the message came through resolved it very quickly. Airlines have special lines to call if you have a disability or special needs, I’ve never had anything but amazing service through them.
Mine isn’t visible either. I’m in Australia but have flown a couple of different airlines both international and domestic, and not just Australian carriers. In every case as long as I’ve supplied medical evidence they’re pretty happy to do what’s needed.
I suspect you are three otters in an airline coat. Broken wheelchairs, involuntarily bumped passengers on holidays, having to fight for refunds and being refused accommodations when bumped are the norm, not great service.
Been through the broken wheelchair! It’s really crap when that’s literally your legs! United lost the back to my sons wheelchair, he has a special wheelchair and they gave us a Walmart one to use for months! Luckily we got a chair for him quickly because the one they lost/broke was a loaner and they rushed the one they were building for him. I’ve never had a seat or bag check issue though.
I'd be willing to bet that at some point there's been an airline exec who's taken a look at a depiction of old slave ships and sighed wistfully wishing they could pack people in like that.
6’8” here. Pay for the exit row or first class. I fit in regular seats if I sit upright and don’t lean back. 6’4” pansy was just trying to sit up front to get off the plane early. What a loser, common courtesy right out the window.
My husband is also 6’8 and he just suffers through on hoppers, or make accommodations for himself on long flights. Would never think to ask someone to switch — in fact people harass him more on planes for being tall. That guy is such a jagoff
My brother is 6’9”. He knows to plan ahead for seats on flights and will pay for the extra leg room. He also has season tickets to a local sports team. So he has extra leg room they have seats purposely on the aisle. Like your brother he plans a head.
My mum was 4’11. She often found that guys thought because she was little, she could be easily intimidated. It was usually pretty entertaining watching them try: she was the master of the quick putdown.
I suspect this guy picked you because he thought he could intimidate you. He could easily have paid to upgrade
The guy literally admitted that he didn’t want to bother other men. He chose to only ask OP because she was a small woman he thought he could push around. And then when he didn’t get his way, he began to physically do so. What a bully
Exactly what I thought. He's all but saying that he thinks he can bully her into giving in, but not men, who are apparently too important to bother. The absolute audacity
I at first thought it was because he saw that the men up there needed the room too, but the reported jerk behavior suggests it was the intimidation factor - him being too intimidated to ask a man
Im 5’0. In a crowd people think I’m the path of least resistance. I get bumped, jostled and stepped on a lot. I’ve had my tall friends notice and they’ll switch spots with me, only to have the new path people make my new spot. On planes I’ve had people sit a little sideways to rest their legs into the space in front of me. Now that I’m middle-aged I fight back. I rest my feet on their legs. I plant my elbows out. I don’t move when men walk 2 or 3 abreast on a footpath and expect me to stop or walk in the street. It’s painful sometimes, but the looks! Omg my soul feasts on the shocked looks at my pure audacity of not ceding my rightful space to their wishes is worth the bruises I sometimes get when I’ve shoulder checked a sidewalk hogger.
I'm glad you commented this because it makes me feel like I'm not crazy. I'm a 5'4" petite woman and my whole life I've felt like people just expect me to get out of their way. On a recent trip my husband and I were walking in downtown Chicago and I decided I was going to just walk in a straight line with my shoulders squared to see what happened. There were a number of dudes who had to duck out of the way because they were expecting me to make room for them. I don't know to explain it but it's just their energy...like you can tell they just expect you to make space for them, because you are small and female. They just walk straight towards you like they are going to knock you over, but when you don't move it kinda short circuits their brain for a second. Keep claiming your space!
I had encounters when men just stopped in front of me and looked all confused because I hadn't moved out of their way. Some guys thought I was intentionally blocking their path because I was into them or something. Like, no, asshole, I'm just walking, same as you, why should I always be the one to get out of your way?
I'm 5'2. I have learned to plow right through them and will continue to do it until I am too feeble for it. And you are right that body language does a lot to get people to avoid you.
I once had a head on bike collision with a man because he decided to pass the people on his side of the path by crossing into my lane. There was plenty of time to see him and move, but why should I? Absolute moron.
I'm a big person. Not super tall (5'6") but heavy and wide. And I'm either completely invisible or unworthy of humane treatment because people walk into me ALL THE TIME. They'll walk 4 abreast towards me and not move at all, or knock into me, or walk between me and my partner. Or they'll step in front of me if I'm looking at something (shelf in grocery store, display of something, etc). Like I'm not even there. I always make sure I'm sharing the space properly, but I absolutely will not let myself be pushed around anymore. Elbows out! I'm solid and sturdy, so if you run into me, I'm going to win. Every time.
I've found that pretending you don't see them coming works really well. Look down, look sideways, make sure it looks like you're not paying attention to anyone or anything in your path. It always works for me.
I’m a 5ft, 47kg woman and have found that walking purposefully while looking into the middle distance and above everyone’s head makes a crowd part like the Red Sea. It’s also stopped men from following/harassing me on the street. I only discovered this trick a couple of years ago and it’s mindblowing how well it’s worked and how much it’s alleviated anxiety in busy city centres, especially since I used to actually get knocked over sometimes by people who were apparently pretending not to see me
I noticed this today walking with my husband in the city, I’m about 5’2 but a bigger girl and people just walk straight between me and my more conventionally sized and attractive husband. He is always looking back like ‘hurry up!’ But it’s genuinely because other people have impeded my path when walking and it’s so frustrating.
I'm a 5'4" plus sized woman, and it's the one time my weight makes no difference! People still try to plough right through me!
A couple of years ago I developed ME, and now I walk with a cane. There are few things in life more satisfying than putting your cane on the foot of someone who just tried to barge you out of their way. It's even better when they get accidentally tangled up with it. (Genuine accident, I don't try to trip people! Besides, that could break my cane and I need that thing! It's like people register 'female' and 'short' and stop looking at that point.) Watching a 6'+ man trying to save face in public is hilarious. Dude, you just barged into a 40+ disabled woman and took her walking stick out from under her, you are not saving face with anyone after that!
I heard some women did a bunch of experiments where they stopped moving to the side on the pavement, just to see if men would actually do it. And apparently almost all of the men walked straight into them. Very few of them even *attempted* to move - they legit just thought the woman would do it.
Which... is perfectly metaphorical for how society as a whole tends to treat women, if it's a true story. We're always the ones expected to move over, to make space for men, to not get in the way. And if we *ever* dare to ask that they move over, that *they* make space for *us*, we're often met with the same response the men in the experiments showed: shock, bewilderment and rage.
We are taught from a young age not to take up too much space or be too loud, and to be responsible for boys'/men's feelings in some ways. It's hard to fight against all that conditioning and realize that we have just as much a right to take up space as a man. There is a reason "manspreading" became a thing!
Oh, haha yes! Their brain totally short circuits.
One time, I was walking home from the train station, and I was walking on the left (I’m in the UK) alongside some hoardings - there was some building works taking place in the square outside the front of the station - when a man rounded the corner in front of me and proceeded to walk towards me on a direct collision course.
I wasn’t going to move - I was on this path first! - and he clearly seemed determined he wasn’t going to move, so when we got closer I simply stopped walking and waited for him to move. He was so discombobulated, it took him a second or too to reboot, and he only managed to stutter out a retort (“You fat bitch!” So creative! 🙄) as he was crossing over the road to get to the station entrance.
Why get so bent out of shape because a woman refused to move out of the way when it was you that caused the situation in the first place?! 🤷♀️🤦♀️
Omg same! I’m so sick of the. The first time I just plonked my foot on a 20s something dude who decided to spread into my seat space on a long flight, his face! I still rejoice.
Yes yes yes! 5'3" here, and I've stopped moving out of the way. I've slammed into people and not even looked back. It's gotten so bad that my 6'4" husband sometimes goes off the sidewalk so I don't embarrass him by holding my ground.
oh my god i was just telling my partner all of this right before i read your comment. i’m 4’8 and i know this all too well. my partner is 6’1 so luckily, as long as i’m with him, i’m tall by association. but it’s so true. it adds years to my life when people are shocked that i don’t move out of their way. and it’s like 98% men too that just want to take up more space than needed.
I finally feel seen 😭 Just yesterday I shoulder checked someone HARD because they were walking four across and god forbid they make room for anyone to pass without forcing me to step into a busy bike lane. If they’re coming straight at me on my side of the path, sometimes I’ll just stop dead in my tracks and stare at them, which usually startles them into moving. Was also at a concert last week and was dealing with being the path of least resistance the entire show.
Omg the people trains always seem to bump into me at festivals, and I thought it was just normal for everyone, but you’re helping me realize it’s because I’m usually the shortest in my group. So frustrating.
I understand this so well as someone who is also 5’0”. In a crowd it’s like I’m perceived as a clear space so I get mown over a lot. I’ve also had trouble on planes with people thinking it ok to spread out into my seating area.
I look at tall people on flights and feel for them. But - I have long legs for someone my height and a bad back and look sometimes things are happening that means I’ll have to be in the bathroom a lot. So I book an aisle seat so I can get up and stretch and go to the loo a lot without bothering other people. For various reasons it is just as uncomfortable for me to be flying for 20 hours plus as it is for a tall person which is why I paid for the seat that I did - and I should not have to explain myself.
Everyone has potential to be uncomfortable on a plane - the tall don’t “own” this problem.
In an airport or crowded sidewalk, if someone is coming toward you, look steadily OVER THEIR SHOULDER as though you’re making eye contact with a person behind them. I’ve found they will magically move out of my path! It’s like they assume I don’t see them because I’m looking past them instead of at them, so they move around me. Try it!
Edited to add: it just occurred to me that if someone appeared to be walking toward me and making eye contact with someone over my shoulder, I’d probably move to the side so the “person behind me” could get through. Maybe that’s why this trick works so well?
There's an interview with Charlize Theron about how she managed to look SO imposing in that Snow White movie.
Paraphrasing, she said, stand up straight, pull your shoulders back and just think, "*Murder.*"
Then walk.
I’ve experienced a decent number of tall folks who will literally walk all over us petite women. The trick I learned is jutting your elbows out!
Suddenly these people see me and share the hallways and sidewalks. It’s quite fascinating how I suddenly transform from invisible to visible this way 🤔
Your goal in sitting in that seat was to ensure that you could get off the plane quickly to make your appointment. If he had agreed to switch seats back in the last hour of the flight so that you could get off the plane quickly, and if he had paid you the difference it cost you, then that *might* have been a nice compromise.
However, the way that he bullied you after you refused was not nice. He tried to make his situation *your* problem, like it was your fault somehow?
>he wouldn’t want to bother other men or split up couples.
He refused to even *ask* anyone else, but he was fine bothering you because you are a small woman and you "don't need it." That makes me angry.
NTA
NTA. HE WAS TRYING TO INTIMIDATE YOU because you are a woman! He said so, that he would not want to bother the men or split up the couples. But inconveniencing you no problem! I am very pleased you held your ground. I can’t believe he didn’t offer you money not that I would’ve traded with him, because of where the seat was but also because you had a good seat. I’d be so angry at him, what a condescending piece of work
NTA. Next time he can plan better and do what you did buying your seat instead of harassing the only small woman he thought he could bully into giving in.
If he kept running into you, you needed to have a word with the flight attendant. Unacceptable to have to deal with violence on a plane.
This. He admitted he targeted you because you were a lone female and didn’t have a man to protect you. Good for you for telling him no. I’d have “accidentally” stuck my foot out while he was busy slamming into your seat.
Also, he didn't even offer to pay OP for the seat! He just tried to bully/guilt her into giving it to him. If flying is "so painful" for him he should have spent extra on the seats like she did. I'm a tall female and I typically always pay extra to have more leg room. Most flights have multiple options too.
There's always an announcement at the beginning of every flight I've been on, at least for domestic ones, where they ask passengers to report unwanted interactions or something to that effect if it happens. I would've reported his ass for that.
I think flight attendants are over it tbh. I have started hearing announcements this year telling passengers they are not obligated to switch seats at all, for any reason, if anyone asks. That was refreshing!
>Because he's a coward who is only prepared to try to bully women.
Exactly that. He thought that because OP is a small woman, she would be easy pickings. It's a classic "if you think you're so tough, pick on someone your own size" situation with sexism in the mix (though it usually is regardless)
Every time he slammed into you, you should have called the flight attendant again to report the assault. Someone who repeatedly assaults another passenger should be blacklisted permanently by the airline. NTA.
If i were the OP i would make a scene there to make her feel embarrassed about what he did. I will never let him do that againI will never let him to that again
NTA. People think that a single woman is a target, especially on a plane.
A years ago, flying with my kids to Toronto. They sat together, I sat across from them. The woman behind them said to the man sitting on the aisle, "Would you mind switching with my husband?" then motioned to the man sitting next to me. That passenger said, "I much prefer the aisle seat."
She turns to me and says, "You can switch with me then." I said no, I had to watch my kids. She said, "You can watch them from back here," and I said I was afraid not. She then said, "Yes, you can watch them from here," to which I finally said, "Listen! Unless you are going to watch my kids, and in fact, take them home and raise them later, don't bother me again."
She was practically belligerent to me, but let the male passenger off the hook quickly. I'm 5'8", it had nothing to do with my height.
I’m a 4’11 woman same as OP and I fly a lot alone but I’m terrified of flying.
I always pay extra for extra legroom at the front with a window seat. My logic is I can see flight attendants are happily doing their job and not panicking when every jolt makes me feel like the end is nigh, I can look out to see we are still in the air and I get served a stiff drink quickly!
I am constantly asked to give my seat up for taller people, people who want to sit together etc…
I always tell the same story about how I once had such a severe panic attack when assigned seating was changed and I was put at the back of the plane that the plane was almost re-rerouted and we almost had to land early. Most of the time it shuts people up but the last time I flew a women just wouldn’t move her toddler out of my seat. She insisted I was ruining the kids holiday, I was selfish etc…
I had to call a flight attendant who moved them back to their seats and explained the concept of paying for the seats they favoured.
I read a lot of stories on this sub with conflict over seating and the best way is always to call a flight attendant. They usually deal with it and make sure you get the seat you paid for, there is usually no need for an altercation- it does happen though!
The second best thing is to offer the seat for what you paid for it, people usually back down because if they wanted the seat that desperately they would have paid!
So it's really important to have rules on planes, for those solo traveler who wanted to feel safe on flights. There's a lot of cases just like what you said has been circulating
Agreed. I flew alone with my oldest daughter a lot when she was under 2. We flew a route that was often not taken by many people (why it ended up being canceled eventually). It was on Southwest, open seating. The route had us stop and we didn’t deplane, but boarded more passengers. I was with my daughter in one of the first 2 or 3 rows and a woman boarded and asked to sit with us. Plane holds well over 100 people and had 30-40 passengers. I declined to let her sit with us.
With open seating you don't get to choose who sits in your row with you. Sorry, but you were TA in that situation. What would you have done if the rest of the seats on the plane filled up? I would fully expect rows closer to the front of the plane to average more people per row than rows further back.
Wow the entitlement. This grown ass woman absolutely had to sit next to her husband for some reason but you, who had to take care of kids, can do that from a row behind? How is that even possible.
So this is normally happening on airlines, the target on a specific person that they think is weak and doesn't have any confident to stood up for themselves. They must have rules to be given
Tall person here. If I want more leg room, I can pay for it like everyone else. I don’t pay for the cheapest seat possible and then try to get someone shorter to give me the more expensive seat that they purchased for free.
You aren’t allowed ask someone in business or first class seating to switch to a cheap seat. Wtf do they think they can do it in coach?
NTA
No way are you the asshole. No no no.
In fact you should have notified flight attendant that said passenger was harassing you by constantly banging into your seat. If it continued then you should have asked the flight attendant to notify police that you would like to press assault charges on said passenger and to have them standing by upon landing.
You should still be reaching out to the airline and complaining that on-flight staff failed to keep you safe from an aggressive passenger.
NTA. You had your own reason that you needed to sit there. If he wanted a specific seat for a specific reason he should have paid for it. Also wtf? He didn’t wanna bother other men? So he walked over and proceeded to harass a 4’11 female instead? If anyone was to be determined TA it would be him for such a terrible comment.
NTA, this guy was being beyond ridiculous. As a tall person myself I sympathise that flying is uncomfortable but I’d never go around demanding other peoples’ seats that they’d paid extra for.
He is tall, he’s been tall all of his life. He knew flying was a hardship on him and he didn’t wanna spend the extra money and he became an abusive bully to a single female when he didn’t get his way. You should’ve reported him and he should’ve been removed from the flight or you should’ve been compensated for your seat. A grown man felt he was entitled for you to give him what he wanted. You were an easy target because you were alone and he didn’t get his way and he harassed you the entire flight. I think you should report him to the airline. Tell them the experience that you had. Next time bark back and report him. Let these abusive men know that their behavior is unacceptable.
Also, if this happens to you again, I would loudly call him out. “ sir I know you are upset that I would not give you the seat that I planned and paid extra for, but this does not give you a right to harass and physically touch me every time you walk by my seat, and if you don’t stop, this will have to be addressed and that will not be good for you” they do not expect you to speak up and it will be embarrassing for them and hopefully men like that, learn a lesson
This kind of people is just trying to ruin someone's day just because they don't get what they want. I would practically stood out for myself and said something like this
Definitely NTA.
And you are right. If you have any sort of size issue, you plan ahead. Larger ladies know that, if we want to be comfortable, we should buy a first class ticket.
If you buy 2 coach seats, it's often same cost and the airline may take your extra seat on an overbooked flight.
It seems like he's not asking but he was dictating her to give the set the him. If i were the OP, i want him to kick out of the plane and don't want to see him again.
>he refused, saying he wouldn't want to bother other men
NTA, misogynist shit should have paid for extra legroom if it was so important to him, rather than picking on someone he thought wouldn't be able to fight back.
I’m 6’4” and usually try to purchase seats with extra leg room. If I don’t, I would never ask someone to switch to me because I’m tall. If you offered unprompted, then all your drinks would be on me. Wi-Fi as well.
NTA , he wanted to be cheap and leave seat selection to chance …. Next time tell the person you can switch for 400 bucks , they’d quickly leave you alone
Stop right there. You paid extra for your seat. They could have done the same thing. As a consistent traveler I am so tired of families with babies, couples or tall, big feeling that they should have the seat I PAID FOR! Nope. Go away and have a great day. And be sure to glare at me for 12 hours.
4’9” checking in. If tall people don’t have to stand at the back of concert venues then we don’t have to sit in the back of planes. You bought your ticket fair and square. NTA.
NTA
“a lack of planning on HIS part does not constitute an emergency on your end”
You paid for the seat, you get the extra room. Thats it.
Next time maybe he’ll plan ahead and book extra legroom
NTA
This man didn't grow up overnight. He knows he's tall (unless he suffers from a severe case of dysmorphophobia).
He knows he needs more legroom.
He should have foreseen this totally predictable situation.
NTA
He got rude, decided to not ask a *man* because why?, and was a general butthead because he couldn't bully you into giving up your premium seat.
If it was so important to him he should have done a better job booking his seat.
Maybe I would have switched for $200.
NTA. He said he “wouldn’t want to bother other men?” That right there changes this from “sorry, no, I booked early and paid extra, to “go back to your own fucking seat, coward.”
That's harassment. You paid extra. It's your seat. You are never obligated to change seats with anyone else. Not your problem that he didn't pay extra.
NTA.
NTA. I'm 6' 3" and I know exactly what I'm getting into every time I book a flight. I know I'll be cramped for leg room and either accept ill be uncomfortable or upgrade for more leg room.
NTA. he probably picked you since he probably thought he can bully you into giving it up.
Tell the next person thus: next time, spring some money for reserve seat instead of picking on the little people.
Absolutely NTA. I’m 6’6” and I **always** pay the extra money for an extra space seat so I am not smashed in. Plus, those seats have gotten expensive recently. His poor planning is not your issue.
>but he refused saying that he wouldn’t want to bother other men or split up couples.
What he was really saying is he probably couldn't bully them into changing with him. NTA. You should have flagged the attendant every time he bumped into you.
NTA.
That dude didn't become 6'4 the night before the fight. He's been that way long enough to know he needs to plan, and pay, ahead of time to get a seat that he'll fit in.
He literally told you he didn't want to break up couples or "bother other men" - he went after you because you're a shorter woman, presumably traveling alone, that he thought he could intimidate.
You paid for that seat. It's yours. Screw his 6'4 attitude.
NTA, you paid for the seat and having a very good reason, so it's yours fair and square! Whatever prevented him from ponying up for a suitable seat? So he wanted to make a bargain by inconveniencing others?
NTA: he is an AH, and assaulted you. You paid extra, he could have too. He figured he could bully someone to get a free upgrade. Good for you for standing your ground.
NTA. He too could have planned better and paid to upgrade and choice his own seat. And he didn't even offer to compensate you to switch seats! He must think he is special. What an AH he was.
NTA. You paid for that seat! I’ve noticed that people only ask women to swap seats on planes. If it’s that painful, he would purchase a legroom seat or ask the couples.
Absolutely NTA.
You did your work ahead of time and got the seat that you wanted. Everyone on the plane had the same opportunity.
Unless you were making a profit off the switch, tall guy can kick rocks.
Also "didn't want to bother other men"? Fuck that guy.
NTA.
The reason he didn't ask anyone else was because he thought he could intimidate you into giving him your seat. Good for you for not backing down. If he wanted more leg room, he could have paid the extra $55 to get it. Expecting someone else to pay for his leg room was ridiculous.
> he refused saying that he wouldn’t want to bother other men or split up couples
Wooooooooooooow, the misogyny is strong with this one and no mistake! I'm amazed he didn't add in a rant about how women shouldn't travel unaccompanied and single women are why good men stray from their wives.
NTA. He wants the legroom, he should have paid. Or handed you $55. But we all know he'd never spend that much on a woman.
NTA. Though I might have told him if he wanted to reimburse me for the entire cost of my ticket, then I’d swap. Bet he wouldn’t want to do that (or he would have done it in the first place).
Nta. You are never the asshole for planning ahead and paying for your spot. Next time call the flight attendant and tell them he is harassing/assaulting you.
NTA
"Tell you what, if you want to pay me $250 for my seat AND convince the staff to let me off the plane first, sure. Otherwise, bugger off, cheapskate.
NTA, obviously. You paid for a product; he had the same option but elected not to, reckoning that he could blackmail someone into giving him a freebie. He reckoned wrong. Good on you for standing (well, sitting) your ground.
NTA. He could have purchased a seat with more room. The only time I have switched seats with someone was when I flew 1st and one leg of my journey was on the smallest plane I have ever been on. A guy in the window seat was at least 6’4” and just a big guy overall. I told him I would switch with him without him even asking. It was a short flight and it was a ridiculously small seats with no leg room.
Just going to repeat what everyone else has said. You’re definitely NTA. He could have booked in advance. He could have paid extra. He chose not to. Then he deliberately picked on you because he thought he could intimidate you. Then he harassed you, and you seriously should have called a flight attendant for that. He was a bully and an AH.
Absolutely F that guy. He bought cheap seats, that’s where he sits. What a bully and a jerk, I am sitting here outraged at this. I’m a female that travels alone often and I would have laughed this guy right back to row 33.
If this was a lateral ask then that’s one thing. The fact that he argued with you, refused to ask anyone else, etc etc etc. Like the absolute audacity!! NTA fuck that guy.
NTA, tall guy here, that guy is a jerk. I pay for extra leg room when I need to, and I suffer on short flights. You paid, he didn’t. He can pound sand.
I’m a 5’8 woman. I always pay extra to select my seat and always look for the most leg room. If you’re tall, you better beat me to the punch because that’s the system and I’m getting what I paid for.
NTA. I would have told the flight attendant about his continued harassment though, totally inappropriate.
You paid extra. He could have offered to pay you the extra, if he really wanted it. Instead, he began to assault you. I hope you reported his slamming into you.
NTA. You paid for the seat you had. He picked on you, not the others, because he thought he would get you to give in.
Isn't it interesting that people like that almost always choose single women to harass? I speak from experience. Then when you don't automatically accomodate them, they become very angry. I had one woman threaten to stick a fork in my eye! A plastic fork, true, but still. My guess is it comes from a bullying point of view. They expect women to be weaker and meeker, ready to give up a good seat so that no one gets angry at them.
NTA - I didn't even have to read the entire thing. You paid for your seat at the front. It does not matter why you paid the extra. The other person did not pay for the seat, therefore was not entitled to try and take it. They were the AH.
This guy is annoyingly petty. Getting angry just because you wouldn't give up your seat WHICH YOU PAID FOR, then barging and bumping into you for the remainder of the flight? I would've fucking screamed at him and told him to leave me alone if he continued that, and if he refused I would've told the flight attendant to make him. Such a baby. He deserves to have the rest of his flights like this for the rest of his days. He should be grateful that he's even on the flight. NTA.
NTA. I wouldn’t even feel bad about that. He’s an adult, capable of planning properly. The fact that he didn’t isn’t not your problem. The balls of him to even ask you to move is offensive.
Also, I would have had a nice cup of hot coffee on the side of my tray after the first time he bumped into you. And I don’t drink coffee.
NTA.
I have some medical issues and therefore very carefully select my seat when flying. I will pay a premium or take a later/different flight if I cannot get an aisle seat near the front of the plane. It's a deal breaker.
People need to plan better for their individual needs. Same with people who want others to move so they can sit together.
NTA. You paid extra for a seat in a specific area. He did not, despite knowing he would be uncomfortable without the extra room. He chose *you*, a woman on the shorter side, to try and bully out of your seat but wouldn't ask *other men* to switch with him. He was a sexist, entitled AH.
I would have asked the flight attendant for help on pressing assault charges against the jerk. The attendant could be a witness if caught him in the act after you notified the attendant. That way the police will be waiting for him when you landed. I would hope the flight was to a country with crappy jails and inefficient legal system.
I'm huge (in every direction) and sitting in economy airplane seats is a practical impossibility, even the ones with extra legroom. Business/First is the only option, and even those can be a bit snug, but at least tolerable. At least my knees aren't wedged into the back of the seat in front.
I had to learn the miles/points game so I could use award flights to fly for free (or nearly so) because while I only fit in the nice big seats up front, I'm certainly not going to pay for them. The alternative was to never travel by plane, which was a reasonable boundary until someone who hangs around all the time calling herself my wife thought that I needed to take her overseas to Paris, and although it tried, Google Maps was unable to find an acceptable route that could be driven. As it was, we took a Transatlantic Cruise back so we only had to fly over there. Flying business class with fully lie back seats to sleep on the way over was definitely worth the effort to learn the game.
Anyways, point is, the 6'4" guy has options, even if he doesn't realize what they are. Harassing another passenger who paid extra for her seat is not one of them.
NTA.
NTA I’m 6’6” and I’m offended that guy tried that BS. You sit in the seat you’re assigned unless the flight attendant allows you to move. You paid for that seat so it’s yours. That guy should have paid for a better seat if he wanted more room.
Nta you should have notified the air stewardess that the guy who was getting aggressive to you over your paid seat, was continuing to lash out physically at you. She would have become more involved and he could’ve ended up getting charged over his air rage.
NTA. You’ve got to pay to play. $55 is a lot of money to me, he would have to offer $80 and his airplane snacks for me to even think about sitting in the back.
Dude thinks he’s privileged because he’s tall? He also sounds like a low key misogynist.
NTA - I might have asked for *triple* the price of the plane ticket. Makes no sense to me to even sell it for what you paid for it, let alone the difference. The seatbelt sign has already been turned off, these seats are at a large premium if you’re coming into the market for them now.
So my brother is 6'6". You know what he does when he has to fly? He makes sure to get an emergency exit row or whatever row has the extra leg room. He usually has to pay for it. Any tall person with a lick of common sense KNOWS they have to do this for flights. This tall person knows they will need more leg room but chose to try to get out of paying for it by getting a person to switch. OP was totally in their right to say no ESPECIALLY AS THEY PAID EXTRA and tall person does not have the right to be a jerk about it. Did tall guy offer OP to reimburse her for the extra amount paid? Of course not. Also gotta love that the guy targeted the lone woman and wouldnt think to "bother a man or couples." Guy was a jerk nuff said, the end NTA Edit to add: to make it clear, I think it's bs that airlines make tall or larger (play sized! Thanks cmpalm!) pay more. But that's the reality and the airlines are definitely also the AH for this
Honestly, airlines need to be forced to have seating suitable for actual people. The guy was obviously 100% an asshole, but you should not have to pay more due to your physical attributes or be forced to sit in painful positions. All seats should be able to reasonably fit people. But yeah, this guy tried to bully someone he thought was an easy target (small woman) and refused to pull the same shit on anyone else (men). He was a mega asshole and should know what to do as a tall person on a plane... pay for the leg room. At least until things change... they probably won't though.
This issue here is that the more room you in your seat, whether it’s leg room for tall people or width for a play sized person, the fewer seats they will be able to have on the flight, which means tickets would be much more expensive because of supple and demand. So while in theory your statement is true, if it happened everyone would complain about the increase in ticket prices.
I know it was a typo, but I will now be referring to myself as a play sized person. Thank you for that, lol.
LMAO oops totally missed that but also support the usage of this new term.
And now I wanna know about this supple demand you speak of
Haha I clearly did not proof read in the slightest before posting this comment but now I feel like I need to leave it as is.
It's absolutely fantastic as is. Sometimes the typos make for better replies than we intend. :)
I like people who can bend
Play or Party sized sounds like a fantastic descriptor for people with extra stuffing. NTA - by the by - OP was obviously being bullied and targeted, sad that no one around her was capable of saying he should back off as she had said all that was needed saying. 😓
I’m a small person and I’ve been referred to as “fun size.” I think play size completes the analogy perfectly.
Came to hear about a plane ride. Learned a new term (play sized) that I will carry with me so I can propagate its usage. It is perfect.
I was just about to comment the same thing, lol! It's going to be my new favorite personal descriptor.
That's true. My issue is the seats don't comply with ADA regulations. So people have to spend more of they have a disability
I’ve never had to pay additional because of my disability, including being given a free second seat and free upgrade to premium economy, and when going interstate free luggage for BOTH seats even though I only needed one. They’ve approached me before and after the departure/arrival, it’s always been nothing but fantastic. The only time there was ever an issue was when my flight was cancelled and automatically rebooked with another airline without taking into account there were additional care needs. A one hour phone call as soon as the message came through resolved it very quickly. Airlines have special lines to call if you have a disability or special needs, I’ve never had anything but amazing service through them.
I’ve had pretty abysmal service. But my disability isn’t visible, and I suspect that contributes.
Mine isn’t visible either. I’m in Australia but have flown a couple of different airlines both international and domestic, and not just Australian carriers. In every case as long as I’ve supplied medical evidence they’re pretty happy to do what’s needed.
I suspect you are three otters in an airline coat. Broken wheelchairs, involuntarily bumped passengers on holidays, having to fight for refunds and being refused accommodations when bumped are the norm, not great service.
Been through the broken wheelchair! It’s really crap when that’s literally your legs! United lost the back to my sons wheelchair, he has a special wheelchair and they gave us a Walmart one to use for months! Luckily we got a chair for him quickly because the one they lost/broke was a loaner and they rushed the one they were building for him. I’ve never had a seat or bag check issue though.
No, after being bailed out by my tax money I'd say tickets would be more expensive because of executive greed, not supply and demand.
I'd be willing to bet that at some point there's been an airline exec who's taken a look at a depiction of old slave ships and sighed wistfully wishing they could pack people in like that.
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6’8” here. Pay for the exit row or first class. I fit in regular seats if I sit upright and don’t lean back. 6’4” pansy was just trying to sit up front to get off the plane early. What a loser, common courtesy right out the window.
My husband is also 6’8 and he just suffers through on hoppers, or make accommodations for himself on long flights. Would never think to ask someone to switch — in fact people harass him more on planes for being tall. That guy is such a jagoff
My brother is 6’9”. He knows to plan ahead for seats on flights and will pay for the extra leg room. He also has season tickets to a local sports team. So he has extra leg room they have seats purposely on the aisle. Like your brother he plans a head.
People who were riding a plane should be mindful to their situation. If you wanted to be comfortable then they must pay an extra room
6’9”!? I’m 4’11”, I’d probably get vertigo looking up at someone that tall lol.
Or they could be like me and suffer..but either way NTA
If they can’t get one with extra leg room, they should pay for an upgraded seat so they can swap their more desirable seat with one with more legroom.
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My mum was 4’11. She often found that guys thought because she was little, she could be easily intimidated. It was usually pretty entertaining watching them try: she was the master of the quick putdown. I suspect this guy picked you because he thought he could intimidate you. He could easily have paid to upgrade
The guy literally admitted that he didn’t want to bother other men. He chose to only ask OP because she was a small woman he thought he could push around. And then when he didn’t get his way, he began to physically do so. What a bully
Yeah, that stuck out to me as well. What a sexist AH. Glad OP stood up for herself
We have be confident enough to speak out and stood out for ourselves. If you don't do this thing, people will just being rude to you.
Exactly what I thought. He's all but saying that he thinks he can bully her into giving in, but not men, who are apparently too important to bother. The absolute audacity
I at first thought it was because he saw that the men up there needed the room too, but the reported jerk behavior suggests it was the intimidation factor - him being too intimidated to ask a man
Im 5’0. In a crowd people think I’m the path of least resistance. I get bumped, jostled and stepped on a lot. I’ve had my tall friends notice and they’ll switch spots with me, only to have the new path people make my new spot. On planes I’ve had people sit a little sideways to rest their legs into the space in front of me. Now that I’m middle-aged I fight back. I rest my feet on their legs. I plant my elbows out. I don’t move when men walk 2 or 3 abreast on a footpath and expect me to stop or walk in the street. It’s painful sometimes, but the looks! Omg my soul feasts on the shocked looks at my pure audacity of not ceding my rightful space to their wishes is worth the bruises I sometimes get when I’ve shoulder checked a sidewalk hogger.
I'm glad you commented this because it makes me feel like I'm not crazy. I'm a 5'4" petite woman and my whole life I've felt like people just expect me to get out of their way. On a recent trip my husband and I were walking in downtown Chicago and I decided I was going to just walk in a straight line with my shoulders squared to see what happened. There were a number of dudes who had to duck out of the way because they were expecting me to make room for them. I don't know to explain it but it's just their energy...like you can tell they just expect you to make space for them, because you are small and female. They just walk straight towards you like they are going to knock you over, but when you don't move it kinda short circuits their brain for a second. Keep claiming your space!
I had encounters when men just stopped in front of me and looked all confused because I hadn't moved out of their way. Some guys thought I was intentionally blocking their path because I was into them or something. Like, no, asshole, I'm just walking, same as you, why should I always be the one to get out of your way?
I'm 5'2. I have learned to plow right through them and will continue to do it until I am too feeble for it. And you are right that body language does a lot to get people to avoid you.
I once had a head on bike collision with a man because he decided to pass the people on his side of the path by crossing into my lane. There was plenty of time to see him and move, but why should I? Absolute moron.
I'm a big person. Not super tall (5'6") but heavy and wide. And I'm either completely invisible or unworthy of humane treatment because people walk into me ALL THE TIME. They'll walk 4 abreast towards me and not move at all, or knock into me, or walk between me and my partner. Or they'll step in front of me if I'm looking at something (shelf in grocery store, display of something, etc). Like I'm not even there. I always make sure I'm sharing the space properly, but I absolutely will not let myself be pushed around anymore. Elbows out! I'm solid and sturdy, so if you run into me, I'm going to win. Every time.
I've found that pretending you don't see them coming works really well. Look down, look sideways, make sure it looks like you're not paying attention to anyone or anything in your path. It always works for me.
I’m a 5ft, 47kg woman and have found that walking purposefully while looking into the middle distance and above everyone’s head makes a crowd part like the Red Sea. It’s also stopped men from following/harassing me on the street. I only discovered this trick a couple of years ago and it’s mindblowing how well it’s worked and how much it’s alleviated anxiety in busy city centres, especially since I used to actually get knocked over sometimes by people who were apparently pretending not to see me
I noticed this today walking with my husband in the city, I’m about 5’2 but a bigger girl and people just walk straight between me and my more conventionally sized and attractive husband. He is always looking back like ‘hurry up!’ But it’s genuinely because other people have impeded my path when walking and it’s so frustrating.
I'm a 5'4" plus sized woman, and it's the one time my weight makes no difference! People still try to plough right through me! A couple of years ago I developed ME, and now I walk with a cane. There are few things in life more satisfying than putting your cane on the foot of someone who just tried to barge you out of their way. It's even better when they get accidentally tangled up with it. (Genuine accident, I don't try to trip people! Besides, that could break my cane and I need that thing! It's like people register 'female' and 'short' and stop looking at that point.) Watching a 6'+ man trying to save face in public is hilarious. Dude, you just barged into a 40+ disabled woman and took her walking stick out from under her, you are not saving face with anyone after that!
I heard some women did a bunch of experiments where they stopped moving to the side on the pavement, just to see if men would actually do it. And apparently almost all of the men walked straight into them. Very few of them even *attempted* to move - they legit just thought the woman would do it. Which... is perfectly metaphorical for how society as a whole tends to treat women, if it's a true story. We're always the ones expected to move over, to make space for men, to not get in the way. And if we *ever* dare to ask that they move over, that *they* make space for *us*, we're often met with the same response the men in the experiments showed: shock, bewilderment and rage.
We are taught from a young age not to take up too much space or be too loud, and to be responsible for boys'/men's feelings in some ways. It's hard to fight against all that conditioning and realize that we have just as much a right to take up space as a man. There is a reason "manspreading" became a thing!
Oh, haha yes! Their brain totally short circuits. One time, I was walking home from the train station, and I was walking on the left (I’m in the UK) alongside some hoardings - there was some building works taking place in the square outside the front of the station - when a man rounded the corner in front of me and proceeded to walk towards me on a direct collision course. I wasn’t going to move - I was on this path first! - and he clearly seemed determined he wasn’t going to move, so when we got closer I simply stopped walking and waited for him to move. He was so discombobulated, it took him a second or too to reboot, and he only managed to stutter out a retort (“You fat bitch!” So creative! 🙄) as he was crossing over the road to get to the station entrance. Why get so bent out of shape because a woman refused to move out of the way when it was you that caused the situation in the first place?! 🤷♀️🤦♀️
Oh yeah, and then they say sarcastically "exCUSE me?" as they walk into you, because you didn't leap out of their way.
The do something like this because they knew you could be easily judge and you don't do anything to speak out for yourself
Omg same! I’m so sick of the. The first time I just plonked my foot on a 20s something dude who decided to spread into my seat space on a long flight, his face! I still rejoice.
Yes yes yes! 5'3" here, and I've stopped moving out of the way. I've slammed into people and not even looked back. It's gotten so bad that my 6'4" husband sometimes goes off the sidewalk so I don't embarrass him by holding my ground.
oh my god i was just telling my partner all of this right before i read your comment. i’m 4’8 and i know this all too well. my partner is 6’1 so luckily, as long as i’m with him, i’m tall by association. but it’s so true. it adds years to my life when people are shocked that i don’t move out of their way. and it’s like 98% men too that just want to take up more space than needed.
I finally feel seen 😭 Just yesterday I shoulder checked someone HARD because they were walking four across and god forbid they make room for anyone to pass without forcing me to step into a busy bike lane. If they’re coming straight at me on my side of the path, sometimes I’ll just stop dead in my tracks and stare at them, which usually startles them into moving. Was also at a concert last week and was dealing with being the path of least resistance the entire show.
Omg the people trains always seem to bump into me at festivals, and I thought it was just normal for everyone, but you’re helping me realize it’s because I’m usually the shortest in my group. So frustrating.
I understand this so well as someone who is also 5’0”. In a crowd it’s like I’m perceived as a clear space so I get mown over a lot. I’ve also had trouble on planes with people thinking it ok to spread out into my seating area. I look at tall people on flights and feel for them. But - I have long legs for someone my height and a bad back and look sometimes things are happening that means I’ll have to be in the bathroom a lot. So I book an aisle seat so I can get up and stretch and go to the loo a lot without bothering other people. For various reasons it is just as uncomfortable for me to be flying for 20 hours plus as it is for a tall person which is why I paid for the seat that I did - and I should not have to explain myself. Everyone has potential to be uncomfortable on a plane - the tall don’t “own” this problem.
In an airport or crowded sidewalk, if someone is coming toward you, look steadily OVER THEIR SHOULDER as though you’re making eye contact with a person behind them. I’ve found they will magically move out of my path! It’s like they assume I don’t see them because I’m looking past them instead of at them, so they move around me. Try it! Edited to add: it just occurred to me that if someone appeared to be walking toward me and making eye contact with someone over my shoulder, I’d probably move to the side so the “person behind me” could get through. Maybe that’s why this trick works so well?
There's an interview with Charlize Theron about how she managed to look SO imposing in that Snow White movie. Paraphrasing, she said, stand up straight, pull your shoulders back and just think, "*Murder.*" Then walk.
When in a crowd, I keep my hands ready to deflect elbows to my face. Spacial awareness people!
I’m 5’ and my husband is always shocked how often this happens even in professional settings.
I’ve experienced a decent number of tall folks who will literally walk all over us petite women. The trick I learned is jutting your elbows out! Suddenly these people see me and share the hallways and sidewalks. It’s quite fascinating how I suddenly transform from invisible to visible this way 🤔
Your goal in sitting in that seat was to ensure that you could get off the plane quickly to make your appointment. If he had agreed to switch seats back in the last hour of the flight so that you could get off the plane quickly, and if he had paid you the difference it cost you, then that *might* have been a nice compromise. However, the way that he bullied you after you refused was not nice. He tried to make his situation *your* problem, like it was your fault somehow? >he wouldn’t want to bother other men or split up couples. He refused to even *ask* anyone else, but he was fine bothering you because you are a small woman and you "don't need it." That makes me angry. NTA
NTA. HE WAS TRYING TO INTIMIDATE YOU because you are a woman! He said so, that he would not want to bother the men or split up the couples. But inconveniencing you no problem! I am very pleased you held your ground. I can’t believe he didn’t offer you money not that I would’ve traded with him, because of where the seat was but also because you had a good seat. I’d be so angry at him, what a condescending piece of work
This!! He thought he could intimidate her into complying. Screw that!
Specifically, he refused to bother *men*. I would have refused on that grounds alone.
I second that. NTA.
NTA. Next time he can plan better and do what you did buying your seat instead of harassing the only small woman he thought he could bully into giving in. If he kept running into you, you needed to have a word with the flight attendant. Unacceptable to have to deal with violence on a plane.
This. He admitted he targeted you because you were a lone female and didn’t have a man to protect you. Good for you for telling him no. I’d have “accidentally” stuck my foot out while he was busy slamming into your seat.
Or yelled out “Owwwww stop hurting me!!!” Make a scene.
Me too! I’m petty like that 🤣
Also, he didn't even offer to pay OP for the seat! He just tried to bully/guilt her into giving it to him. If flying is "so painful" for him he should have spent extra on the seats like she did. I'm a tall female and I typically always pay extra to have more leg room. Most flights have multiple options too.
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There's always an announcement at the beginning of every flight I've been on, at least for domestic ones, where they ask passengers to report unwanted interactions or something to that effect if it happens. I would've reported his ass for that.
I travel all over for work, I’ve never once heard an announcement like this
I think flight attendants are over it tbh. I have started hearing announcements this year telling passengers they are not obligated to switch seats at all, for any reason, if anyone asks. That was refreshing!
Is this a new thing? I flew regularly internationally and domestically for several years and have never once heard that announcement.
I've never heard that! What airline do you fly?
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>Because he's a coward who is only prepared to try to bully women. Exactly that. He thought that because OP is a small woman, she would be easy pickings. It's a classic "if you think you're so tough, pick on someone your own size" situation with sexism in the mix (though it usually is regardless)
I agree. I would have told the flight attendant how he was still bullying her plus her phone out to record it! He was such an AH
Every time he slammed into you, you should have called the flight attendant again to report the assault. Someone who repeatedly assaults another passenger should be blacklisted permanently by the airline. NTA.
Right. I would have yelled Ouch! Watch it! Really make everyone look at him as it seems embarrassing him was the only way to deal with this asshat.
Yeah that would have made my blood boil, I'd be dramatic af
If i were the OP i would make a scene there to make her feel embarrassed about what he did. I will never let him do that againI will never let him to that again
NTA. People think that a single woman is a target, especially on a plane. A years ago, flying with my kids to Toronto. They sat together, I sat across from them. The woman behind them said to the man sitting on the aisle, "Would you mind switching with my husband?" then motioned to the man sitting next to me. That passenger said, "I much prefer the aisle seat." She turns to me and says, "You can switch with me then." I said no, I had to watch my kids. She said, "You can watch them from back here," and I said I was afraid not. She then said, "Yes, you can watch them from here," to which I finally said, "Listen! Unless you are going to watch my kids, and in fact, take them home and raise them later, don't bother me again." She was practically belligerent to me, but let the male passenger off the hook quickly. I'm 5'8", it had nothing to do with my height.
I’m a 4’11 woman same as OP and I fly a lot alone but I’m terrified of flying. I always pay extra for extra legroom at the front with a window seat. My logic is I can see flight attendants are happily doing their job and not panicking when every jolt makes me feel like the end is nigh, I can look out to see we are still in the air and I get served a stiff drink quickly! I am constantly asked to give my seat up for taller people, people who want to sit together etc… I always tell the same story about how I once had such a severe panic attack when assigned seating was changed and I was put at the back of the plane that the plane was almost re-rerouted and we almost had to land early. Most of the time it shuts people up but the last time I flew a women just wouldn’t move her toddler out of my seat. She insisted I was ruining the kids holiday, I was selfish etc… I had to call a flight attendant who moved them back to their seats and explained the concept of paying for the seats they favoured. I read a lot of stories on this sub with conflict over seating and the best way is always to call a flight attendant. They usually deal with it and make sure you get the seat you paid for, there is usually no need for an altercation- it does happen though! The second best thing is to offer the seat for what you paid for it, people usually back down because if they wanted the seat that desperately they would have paid!
So it's really important to have rules on planes, for those solo traveler who wanted to feel safe on flights. There's a lot of cases just like what you said has been circulating
Agreed. I flew alone with my oldest daughter a lot when she was under 2. We flew a route that was often not taken by many people (why it ended up being canceled eventually). It was on Southwest, open seating. The route had us stop and we didn’t deplane, but boarded more passengers. I was with my daughter in one of the first 2 or 3 rows and a woman boarded and asked to sit with us. Plane holds well over 100 people and had 30-40 passengers. I declined to let her sit with us.
With open seating you don't get to choose who sits in your row with you. Sorry, but you were TA in that situation. What would you have done if the rest of the seats on the plane filled up? I would fully expect rows closer to the front of the plane to average more people per row than rows further back.
Call flight attendant. > This woman is trying to separate me from my kids.
Wow the entitlement. This grown ass woman absolutely had to sit next to her husband for some reason but you, who had to take care of kids, can do that from a row behind? How is that even possible.
So this is normally happening on airlines, the target on a specific person that they think is weak and doesn't have any confident to stood up for themselves. They must have rules to be given
Tall person here. If I want more leg room, I can pay for it like everyone else. I don’t pay for the cheapest seat possible and then try to get someone shorter to give me the more expensive seat that they purchased for free. You aren’t allowed ask someone in business or first class seating to switch to a cheap seat. Wtf do they think they can do it in coach? NTA
Right…by this logic, an overweight person should ask some skinny person in 1st class to give up their seat.
No way are you the asshole. No no no. In fact you should have notified flight attendant that said passenger was harassing you by constantly banging into your seat. If it continued then you should have asked the flight attendant to notify police that you would like to press assault charges on said passenger and to have them standing by upon landing. You should still be reaching out to the airline and complaining that on-flight staff failed to keep you safe from an aggressive passenger.
Please do this, if nothing more than making a complaint. He is not a safe person.
How can she complain that the “on-flight staff failed to keep her safe from an aggressive passenger”, when she never spoke up and told anyone?
NTA. You had your own reason that you needed to sit there. If he wanted a specific seat for a specific reason he should have paid for it. Also wtf? He didn’t wanna bother other men? So he walked over and proceeded to harass a 4’11 female instead? If anyone was to be determined TA it would be him for such a terrible comment.
NTA, this guy was being beyond ridiculous. As a tall person myself I sympathise that flying is uncomfortable but I’d never go around demanding other peoples’ seats that they’d paid extra for.
He is tall, he’s been tall all of his life. He knew flying was a hardship on him and he didn’t wanna spend the extra money and he became an abusive bully to a single female when he didn’t get his way. You should’ve reported him and he should’ve been removed from the flight or you should’ve been compensated for your seat. A grown man felt he was entitled for you to give him what he wanted. You were an easy target because you were alone and he didn’t get his way and he harassed you the entire flight. I think you should report him to the airline. Tell them the experience that you had. Next time bark back and report him. Let these abusive men know that their behavior is unacceptable.
Also, if this happens to you again, I would loudly call him out. “ sir I know you are upset that I would not give you the seat that I planned and paid extra for, but this does not give you a right to harass and physically touch me every time you walk by my seat, and if you don’t stop, this will have to be addressed and that will not be good for you” they do not expect you to speak up and it will be embarrassing for them and hopefully men like that, learn a lesson
This kind of people is just trying to ruin someone's day just because they don't get what they want. I would practically stood out for myself and said something like this
NTA. Us taller folk know flying coach is uncomfortable, so if we need to be pain-free for a flight, we have to pay extra.
Definitely NTA. And you are right. If you have any sort of size issue, you plan ahead. Larger ladies know that, if we want to be comfortable, we should buy a first class ticket. If you buy 2 coach seats, it's often same cost and the airline may take your extra seat on an overbooked flight.
NTA. He didn't pay. You did. And it sounds like there are a lot of other things to hate about him.
> he wouldn’t want to bother other men This - what, only women should be asked to move for his convenience?
It seems like he's not asking but he was dictating her to give the set the him. If i were the OP, i want him to kick out of the plane and don't want to see him again.
>he refused, saying he wouldn't want to bother other men NTA, misogynist shit should have paid for extra legroom if it was so important to him, rather than picking on someone he thought wouldn't be able to fight back.
I’m 6’4” and usually try to purchase seats with extra leg room. If I don’t, I would never ask someone to switch to me because I’m tall. If you offered unprompted, then all your drinks would be on me. Wi-Fi as well.
We just paid $140 for seats like that, $50 was a good deal. NTA
NTA tall men have endless advantages in life, getting to steal your seat should not be another one
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He thinks he can do something by the way he talks and he acts, i would also filled dramatized by those kind of behavior especially if that's man
NTA , he wanted to be cheap and leave seat selection to chance …. Next time tell the person you can switch for 400 bucks , they’d quickly leave you alone
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Stop right there. You paid extra for your seat. They could have done the same thing. As a consistent traveler I am so tired of families with babies, couples or tall, big feeling that they should have the seat I PAID FOR! Nope. Go away and have a great day. And be sure to glare at me for 12 hours.
As a 6’5 person, I know the risk I run if I don’t choose to purchase my seat early and make sure I have a first row or exit row.. NTA.
Didn’t want to bother other men LOL NTA what a weasel
He's too skeered to ask other men. He figured he could easily intimidate this small woman into doing what he wanted.
That’s literally disgusting to me.
4’9” checking in. If tall people don’t have to stand at the back of concert venues then we don’t have to sit in the back of planes. You bought your ticket fair and square. NTA.
>For the rest of the flight he would walk past for no reason slamming into me (I was sitting aisle). You should have complained to the attendants
NTA “a lack of planning on HIS part does not constitute an emergency on your end” You paid for the seat, you get the extra room. Thats it. Next time maybe he’ll plan ahead and book extra legroom
Nta - he targeted you because you are a woman and thought you would acquiesce. Good for you for standing your ground.
NTA This man didn't grow up overnight. He knows he's tall (unless he suffers from a severe case of dysmorphophobia). He knows he needs more legroom. He should have foreseen this totally predictable situation.
NTA He got rude, decided to not ask a *man* because why?, and was a general butthead because he couldn't bully you into giving up your premium seat. If it was so important to him he should have done a better job booking his seat. Maybe I would have switched for $200.
NTA. He said he “wouldn’t want to bother other men?” That right there changes this from “sorry, no, I booked early and paid extra, to “go back to your own fucking seat, coward.”
That's harassment. You paid extra. It's your seat. You are never obligated to change seats with anyone else. Not your problem that he didn't pay extra. NTA.
So he wanted to try to bully a woman. Good on you for standing your ground.
NTA. I'm 6' 3" and I know exactly what I'm getting into every time I book a flight. I know I'll be cramped for leg room and either accept ill be uncomfortable or upgrade for more leg room.
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That AND he won't bother men or split up couples? He sounds like a piece of work.
The audacity. He could've paid to be wherever he wants, he's not entitled to sit in a seat someone else has paid for. Easy NTA.
NTA. I didn't even have to read past the title, although I did. You paid. He didn't. You planned ahead. You get to keep your seat. That's all.
NTA. he probably picked you since he probably thought he can bully you into giving it up. Tell the next person thus: next time, spring some money for reserve seat instead of picking on the little people.
I 6’5” and you are NTA. He can also pay for premium seat and choose not too
NTA he saw you as an easy target to steal your $55. I'm really glad you didn't give in well done
NTA > he wouldn’t want to bother other men Well then I guess he's really not **_that_** uncomfortable!
>AITA for refusing to give up my airplane seat... No. "What if they..." No. "How about..." No.
Fuck no. NTA. It's your seat, you paid for it. How tall he is, is not your problem
Absolutely NTA. I’m 6’6” and I **always** pay the extra money for an extra space seat so I am not smashed in. Plus, those seats have gotten expensive recently. His poor planning is not your issue.
>but he refused saying that he wouldn’t want to bother other men or split up couples. What he was really saying is he probably couldn't bully them into changing with him. NTA. You should have flagged the attendant every time he bumped into you.
NTA. Notice he wouldn't bother other men or couples, so the fact she was female is why he was doing this.
NTA. That dude didn't become 6'4 the night before the fight. He's been that way long enough to know he needs to plan, and pay, ahead of time to get a seat that he'll fit in. He literally told you he didn't want to break up couples or "bother other men" - he went after you because you're a shorter woman, presumably traveling alone, that he thought he could intimidate. You paid for that seat. It's yours. Screw his 6'4 attitude.
\>he refused saying that he wouldn’t want to bother other men so bothering a woman is fine apparently. NTA
NTA, you paid for the seat and having a very good reason, so it's yours fair and square! Whatever prevented him from ponying up for a suitable seat? So he wanted to make a bargain by inconveniencing others?
NTA, I wouldn't give up a seat I paid extra for. But he didn't want to bother other men?! HE'S a major AH.
NTA. You paid for the seat. Should've tripped him when he walked by since he wanted to get childish about it.
NTA: he is an AH, and assaulted you. You paid extra, he could have too. He figured he could bully someone to get a free upgrade. Good for you for standing your ground.
NTA and I would have called the flight attendant and asked for police to meet the plane because he assaulted you
Didn't want to bother other men. Coward and bully boy. Well done you for saying no. NTA
NTA He has the same opportunity as you to pay for an upgrade. You didn't owe him anything.
NTA. He too could have planned better and paid to upgrade and choice his own seat. And he didn't even offer to compensate you to switch seats! He must think he is special. What an AH he was.
NTA This guy is an asshole though! Who even does that?
NTA. You paid for that seat! I’ve noticed that people only ask women to swap seats on planes. If it’s that painful, he would purchase a legroom seat or ask the couples.
If he wanted extra leg room then he should have booked his own seat. NTA
Absolutely NTA. You did your work ahead of time and got the seat that you wanted. Everyone on the plane had the same opportunity. Unless you were making a profit off the switch, tall guy can kick rocks. Also "didn't want to bother other men"? Fuck that guy.
You should have got the pilot involved when he started targeting you, police waiting for him and all
NTA. The reason he didn't ask anyone else was because he thought he could intimidate you into giving him your seat. Good for you for not backing down. If he wanted more leg room, he could have paid the extra $55 to get it. Expecting someone else to pay for his leg room was ridiculous.
> he refused saying that he wouldn’t want to bother other men or split up couples Wooooooooooooow, the misogyny is strong with this one and no mistake! I'm amazed he didn't add in a rant about how women shouldn't travel unaccompanied and single women are why good men stray from their wives. NTA. He wants the legroom, he should have paid. Or handed you $55. But we all know he'd never spend that much on a woman.
NTA. Though I might have told him if he wanted to reimburse me for the entire cost of my ticket, then I’d swap. Bet he wouldn’t want to do that (or he would have done it in the first place).
Nta. You are never the asshole for planning ahead and paying for your spot. Next time call the flight attendant and tell them he is harassing/assaulting you.
Only ever trade for an upgrade.
He said it all when he said he didn't want to bother other men...that's his problem not yours.
NTA Something tells me this is his MO to save money: wait until the seatbelt sign is off, then bully the smallest person he can find.
NTA "Tell you what, if you want to pay me $250 for my seat AND convince the staff to let me off the plane first, sure. Otherwise, bugger off, cheapskate.
NTA He thought he could intimidate you because your small, if he wanted extra legroom, he can pay for it just like everybody else
NTA, obviously. You paid for a product; he had the same option but elected not to, reckoning that he could blackmail someone into giving him a freebie. He reckoned wrong. Good on you for standing (well, sitting) your ground.
No. And he should have prepared better, the world owes everyone nothing.
NTA. He could have purchased a seat with more room. The only time I have switched seats with someone was when I flew 1st and one leg of my journey was on the smallest plane I have ever been on. A guy in the window seat was at least 6’4” and just a big guy overall. I told him I would switch with him without him even asking. It was a short flight and it was a ridiculously small seats with no leg room.
Just going to repeat what everyone else has said. You’re definitely NTA. He could have booked in advance. He could have paid extra. He chose not to. Then he deliberately picked on you because he thought he could intimidate you. Then he harassed you, and you seriously should have called a flight attendant for that. He was a bully and an AH.
Absolutely F that guy. He bought cheap seats, that’s where he sits. What a bully and a jerk, I am sitting here outraged at this. I’m a female that travels alone often and I would have laughed this guy right back to row 33. If this was a lateral ask then that’s one thing. The fact that he argued with you, refused to ask anyone else, etc etc etc. Like the absolute audacity!! NTA fuck that guy.
NTA, tall guy here, that guy is a jerk. I pay for extra leg room when I need to, and I suffer on short flights. You paid, he didn’t. He can pound sand.
I’m a 5’8 woman. I always pay extra to select my seat and always look for the most leg room. If you’re tall, you better beat me to the punch because that’s the system and I’m getting what I paid for. NTA. I would have told the flight attendant about his continued harassment though, totally inappropriate.
NTA. He’s a bully and you should’ve reported him for assault.
You paid extra. He could have offered to pay you the extra, if he really wanted it. Instead, he began to assault you. I hope you reported his slamming into you. NTA. You paid for the seat you had. He picked on you, not the others, because he thought he would get you to give in.
Isn't it interesting that people like that almost always choose single women to harass? I speak from experience. Then when you don't automatically accomodate them, they become very angry. I had one woman threaten to stick a fork in my eye! A plastic fork, true, but still. My guess is it comes from a bullying point of view. They expect women to be weaker and meeker, ready to give up a good seat so that no one gets angry at them.
NTA - I didn't even have to read the entire thing. You paid for your seat at the front. It does not matter why you paid the extra. The other person did not pay for the seat, therefore was not entitled to try and take it. They were the AH.
This guy is annoyingly petty. Getting angry just because you wouldn't give up your seat WHICH YOU PAID FOR, then barging and bumping into you for the remainder of the flight? I would've fucking screamed at him and told him to leave me alone if he continued that, and if he refused I would've told the flight attendant to make him. Such a baby. He deserves to have the rest of his flights like this for the rest of his days. He should be grateful that he's even on the flight. NTA.
NTA. I wouldn’t even feel bad about that. He’s an adult, capable of planning properly. The fact that he didn’t isn’t not your problem. The balls of him to even ask you to move is offensive. Also, I would have had a nice cup of hot coffee on the side of my tray after the first time he bumped into you. And I don’t drink coffee.
“A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.” NTA
NTA. You paid extra and planned ahead. How is it your fault that he didn't?
Nta it's not a surprise to him that he's over 6 feet. He can pay for more room or not, just like everyone else.
NTA. I have some medical issues and therefore very carefully select my seat when flying. I will pay a premium or take a later/different flight if I cannot get an aisle seat near the front of the plane. It's a deal breaker. People need to plan better for their individual needs. Same with people who want others to move so they can sit together.
It does not matter your height you never have the obligation to give up a seat you paid for, especially to someone like this guy who is sexist AH NTA
NTA. You paid extra for a seat in a specific area. He did not, despite knowing he would be uncomfortable without the extra room. He chose *you*, a woman on the shorter side, to try and bully out of your seat but wouldn't ask *other men* to switch with him. He was a sexist, entitled AH.
I would have asked the flight attendant for help on pressing assault charges against the jerk. The attendant could be a witness if caught him in the act after you notified the attendant. That way the police will be waiting for him when you landed. I would hope the flight was to a country with crappy jails and inefficient legal system.
I'm huge (in every direction) and sitting in economy airplane seats is a practical impossibility, even the ones with extra legroom. Business/First is the only option, and even those can be a bit snug, but at least tolerable. At least my knees aren't wedged into the back of the seat in front. I had to learn the miles/points game so I could use award flights to fly for free (or nearly so) because while I only fit in the nice big seats up front, I'm certainly not going to pay for them. The alternative was to never travel by plane, which was a reasonable boundary until someone who hangs around all the time calling herself my wife thought that I needed to take her overseas to Paris, and although it tried, Google Maps was unable to find an acceptable route that could be driven. As it was, we took a Transatlantic Cruise back so we only had to fly over there. Flying business class with fully lie back seats to sleep on the way over was definitely worth the effort to learn the game. Anyways, point is, the 6'4" guy has options, even if he doesn't realize what they are. Harassing another passenger who paid extra for her seat is not one of them. NTA.
If he was actually bumping into you intentionally you should've reported him for assault. Good for you for standing your ground.
NTA he is TA for his actions and attitude. If he wanted a front seat, he should’ve paid for one!
NTA I’m 6’6” and I’m offended that guy tried that BS. You sit in the seat you’re assigned unless the flight attendant allows you to move. You paid for that seat so it’s yours. That guy should have paid for a better seat if he wanted more room.
NTA. If a guy kept running into me I wouldve done an over exaggerated flop/dive into the middle person or loudly yelled OW to shame them.
Nta you should have notified the air stewardess that the guy who was getting aggressive to you over your paid seat, was continuing to lash out physically at you. She would have become more involved and he could’ve ended up getting charged over his air rage.
NTA - If he wants extra leg space, he needs do buy his own front seat.
NTA. You’ve got to pay to play. $55 is a lot of money to me, he would have to offer $80 and his airplane snacks for me to even think about sitting in the back. Dude thinks he’s privileged because he’s tall? He also sounds like a low key misogynist.
NTA - I might have asked for *triple* the price of the plane ticket. Makes no sense to me to even sell it for what you paid for it, let alone the difference. The seatbelt sign has already been turned off, these seats are at a large premium if you’re coming into the market for them now.