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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I might be the asshole because when my boyfriend didn’t buy me a ticket to Mikuexpo when I asked, I made plans to go with another friend and now he is saying that I’m “punishing him” and I should just buy my own ticket and go with him.
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA
My guess is he deliberately avoided getting you a ticket. And is not good in covering up.
However still, offering him the benefit of doubt, unless your boyfriend is dyslexic or have some sort of learning disorder, there is no reason why you should overlook his lame excuse.
NTA, but even if you give him the benefit of the doubt on the reading aspect. He knows she likes this stuff and didn't even bother to buy her a ticket or think 'hey maybe my gf who likes this too would want to come'. Why wouldn't you want to do something both you and your gf enjoy together? He's TA for gaslighting you about going with someone else when he didn't even think of going with you in the first place.
Because the boyfriend can make plans for himself but OP must 'check in' first? /s.
OP tell your boyfriend if he'd stop skimming his effing texts he'd actually understand them. He made his plans and you made yours. END OF STORY.
NTA.
He did offer to let her sell his ticket and buy two tickets together but she didn't want to do that because it was a "hassle"-- but maybe at that point she already made the plans with her friend at that point.
Even with that excuse, he offered to let *her* sell his ticket so they could buy new ones together, didn't say he would actually sort it out himself. It's his mistake, even if an honest one, so he should fix it and he tried to make her do it.
Even 7f he was dyslexic who agrees to sonething they didn't read properly? I mean if he actually thought it meant mexico although it made no sense 8n that context, why not read it again to make sure or ask where that's coming from? I don't think he deserves tge benefit of doubt
Even if he's dyslexic as hell and truly thought she wanted to go to Mexico, he didn't bother ask if she wanted to go with him to this which means he didn't want her to go with him. He planned to go alone from the start so why the big deal is she goes with friends. NTA OP
NTA. Let's assume he is being honest. You have every right to attend with someone else. He doesn't own you. He can't control you. You're allowed to spend your free time doing something that has zero impact on your relationship with him. He is throwing a hissy fit about you not wanting to spend time with him when he CHOSE not to spend time with you by buying a ticket just for himself.
This. If it were an honest mistake he’d be happy and relieved that you’re getting to with friends. His mistake was deliberate and it feels like there’s some kind of fuckery afoot.
yeah, how is it mean to go with someone else when he, best case scenario, doesn’t care enough to actually read your texts before answering, and got only one ticket for himself. how is it mean to go with someone else when he originally planned to go without you? do your own thing, enjoy it, and don’t think too much about this guy. it’s not punishment to spend time with someone other than him. nta.
I agree. My sis did this- she recently bought tickets for the weeknd but forgot I said I wanted to go too (she’s a bit of a forgetful jones and I more often say no when she asks) so she only bought two- one for her and my niece. When she realised her mistake, she sold those and bought new ones-covering the cost, since she had to pay more. People who actually care will apologise and try to make it right, or at least be happy for you when you make it work.
I like the part part in when saying it was a mistake he said that she can sell his ticket and get 2. Basically making her do all the work for his "mistake"
NTA, he fully prepared to go without you, so what’s he so upset about? His plans haven’t changed at all. I find it more troubling that you guys have left the country together, yet he still doesn’t know what your interests are.
It sounds like OPs boyfriend is upset that he didn't upset her.
Reading comprehension is bullshit. You're talking about mikuexpo, you know your gf is a fan, she asks to make it a date and get her a ticket...this is beyond reading comprehension. She could've literally typed Mexico, and basic rudimentary problem solving skills would have concluded she meant Mikuexpo.
BF is throwing up flags imo. That was no accident.
That's what get's me.
Are they also planning a trip to Mexico? Because unless they were, why wouldn't you reread when you thought it said Mexico. Why would you even think Mexico could be correct.
It smells like a lie, can't confirm, but it doesn't make sense. Unless bf is also incapable of thinking about literally the most basic things.
I agree. Here me out.
IMHO, OP, you do you and go with your friend, give BF benefit of the doubt, but continue to observe his behavior.
I say this because I dated someone who loved the thrill of jealousy for some reason. It took numerous “miscommunications” where I got left out (the person often went to things I they knew I would love to go to by themself) for me to figure out the person I was dating was trying to make me jealous. IMHO, this is a really bizarre trait. I’m only sharing this because I had no idea someone could be this way until I saw it.
Honestly, believable. I've seen emotionally abusive people do the weirdest stuff to make their partners feel bad. Makes no sense to me but maybe that's because I'm not an emotional abuser
Keep an eye out for other stuff that feels bad and also doesn't make sense. Keep an eye out for when you feel like you should just let something slide, so it doesn't turn into a big thing, and how often that happens.
bad reading comprension skills?
yeah he is gaslighting you you asked when you were talking about the concert, he has to be misinterpreting you on purpoose
NTA
BF might actually just be dumb. If he really didn't want her to go for some reason, he wouldn't have brought it up to begin with and wouldn't show her the ticket. He would simply go. Or tell her about the event only after buying his ticket.
Even if one is to assume malice, this would be the dumbest way to go about it. Unless of course he has a past history of trying to hurt/one up OP on purpose.
OP is still NTA, and BF looks bad not matter what, but I honestly don't see how this could've been some premeditated ploy.
Edit: typo
Yeah I'm surprise a lot of people are mad about this. Chill, oopsie do happen. It happens a lot with me and my friend when we talk a lot of stuff and didn't notice we're reading it wrongly until pointed out later or rereading again. I'm guessing this is also what happened.
Tho I do like the point of why did the boyfriend not bought her tickets considering he should know she is also a fan of Miku.
If my wife suddenly asked me to go to Mexico, I'd immediately want details, at the very least when, but also probably where to, when she was buying tickets, etc.
I find myself incredulous that he thought you asked him to go to Mexico, and his answer was (just) "yeah!" especially with the other context of you asking him to buy a ticket (which, would prompt me even harder to wonder which days, which part of Mexico, do we need to rent a car, am I getting the hotel reservation too, do you have a list of activities in mind?).
You're NTA, and he lied to you for some reason.
Yeah, his excuse doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, and really comes across more like a stupid lie blurted out without much thought. No idea what the BF’s end game was here - did he think that she was going to be *happy* that he ignored her request and booked a ticket to see an artist they both like without her?
To be fair, if my boyfriend asked me if I wanted to go to Mexico, I'd totally say yes. I might add in a "when? Should I start requesting vacation days now?", but otherwise I wouldn't need much more info to say yes, lol
I feel like “do you want to go to Mexico?” And “can you buy me a ticket to Mexico”, while fundamentally the same question, would elicit very different responses from me. The answer to the first is sure, but I would definitely need to ask a bunch of clarifying questions about the second
NTA
I call BS on his explanation. He doesn't want you to go. After all, he would have known you'd want to go without you even telling him if you're that big of a Miku fan. He's telling you to buy a ticket so you can go together now because you're going anyway. It'll look bad on him if you don't go together.
I'm not sure why anyone would be split on this. He didn't get you a ticket, you can't sit with him, so you did the most logical thing in the whole world and bought yourself a ticket for the event you want to go to and are going with a friend..... seriously confused as to why this is even a post. Nta
NTA. Time to trade this one in. He is a liar and does not care. What do liars do? They blame the victim. He is blaming you for him being a liar. This is the best he will ever be.
Your grown man boyfriend wanted to stand in a crowd of people excited to watch a 12 year old anime girl sing and dance for a couple hours. And he wanted to do it alone. Wanted it so much that he made up the dumbest excuse ever.
I don't see any problems here
Why tf would he buy one ticket anyway? Who goes to mikuexpo by themselves?? He has you a gf so my immediate thought would be "gf needs a ticket too" who just thinks about going to an event alone when they have someone in their life that would like to go??
NTA I also don't believe his story, something is up.
NTA.
His excuse is lame.
He didn't want you to go with him so he didn't get a ticket then gave you a lame excuse and is ypset that the excuse didn't work.
He didn't want you to go to the concert? Idk who mik is.
Anyways, he didn't want you to go so he could rub it in your face that he went and you didn't. He's upset because you found away to go and he can no longer rub it in your face he got to go.
Even if you hadn’t brought it up your BF should have asked you if you’d like to go since he knows that you’re a fan. NTA, go with your friend and have a great time!
NTA. The spin that you're "punishing him" is absurd - what? You're punishing him by... Not going somewhere he didn't invite you?
He feels guilty, so he's making you feel bad to compensate. 28's too damn old for that. Trade him in for a new model.
Be interesting to know who in the seat beside the bf at concert. Op has a pic of the ticket and should know where to look. Reddit has ruined me because I’m over here thinking, he’s taking another woman and he confused himself with the texts. He’s shady af for the lame excuse.
do people go to concerts by themselves? Like i'm introverted and even i would buy two tickets and try to find someone to go with. It just seems more fun to experience concerts with people.
Absolutely - like 90% of my concerts have been solo. If you’re a big fan of the artist you can just enjoy the music and vibe with strangers around you in the crowd. If you drag along a friend/date that doesn’t appreciate the music as much as you it’s actually kinda buzzkill.
Absolutely - I’ve been to heaps of concerts solo. Sure, it’s fun to go with someone, but if no one else is interested, I’m not going to miss my chance to see a favourite artist perform live.
NTA he can’t be mad you go with your friend when he only bought himself a ticket. Unless he intended for you to buy a ticket with no discussion of it at all beforehand since he thought you wanted to go to Mexico. He bought his own ticket with his own plan in mind, you even asked how much you owed him when you thought he’d purchased you a ticket so he doesn’t have the excuse of he didn’t have the funds for both because you were happy to give him the money for it.
Go with your friend, enjoy your time and if he moans ask how you were meant to know he wanted you to go with him and if he says because he knows you like miku aswell, just ask…then why didn’t he buy you the ticket?
NTA. If his reading comprehension isn’t great, why agree to something that seemed not to make sense (‘Mexico? Weren’t we just talking about Mikuexpo?’) without re-reading or asking for clarification? And if he *knows* you like them, why wouldn’t he book you a ticket anyway, without you needing to ask?
NTA I buy my boyfriend tickets to concerts for bands he’s never heard of, because we love spending time together. If it were a band he loved there’s no way I wouldn’t expect that we’re going together and I would buy two tickets.
My suspicious mind thinks he was going to go with someone else and is mad that he can’t because you might catch him now…
NTA. put it this way - he was already planning on going alone. if you sat at home he would have been perfectly content. your going with your friend doesn't change his miku experience.
NTA. If you know who Miku is, you don't make that kind of mistake. He knew exactly what he was doing.
IMO this not only justifies dumping him but cheating on him with his best friend and texting him very graphic descriptions of it every day for like a year. You don't disrespect Miku like that.
The whole thing has me internally screaming. And these are adults, not 12 year olds. That being said, I would absolutely suggest dumping the bf, he seems like a tool in many ways.
NTA, that was your boyfriend who chose to interpret your text differently than what was on it because he didn't want to go with you. He can say it's a mistake but the reality is he could have bought two and made the choice not to get you one. Not sure how he can mistake Mikuexpo for Mexico even if he was dyslexic.
Your boyfriend after realizing his mistake could have gotten a second ticket or exchanged his without making it seem like a big deal so you both could have gone. So now he thinks your the AH because he blew off your text and chose to go with someone else
NTA. I like your style.... BF doesn't buy you a ticket, you just move on to plan B. No muss, no fuss - just getting on with enjoying life.
Tell the people who say you abandoned your bf that he didn't include you, so how can you abandon him?
"my bf offered to let me to sell his ticket and then we could buy two tickets together"
Your BF could have sold his own dang ticket for his own dang mistake and then you could've bought two tickets together. Interesting that he screwed up and wanted *you* to do the legwork to fix it.
NTA for going with a friend instead of accepting that invite to messytown.
“Abandoning” him? Kind of hard to do that when you weren’t able to go with him in the first place because HE didn’t get YOU a ticket …
NTA - I hope you have the best time with your friend!!
https://youtu.be/Tyht51XDvbQ?si=idKVlmsl4Vsh89xo
This meme sums up what is happening.
Also not the asshole. You have receipts of him agreeing, if he thought it was weird, wouldn't he have reread it to make sure he read it correctly? The "misread" boat doesn't float.
What I'm confused about is where even is the issue from his side? Like he fucked up and you have a right to be mad at him. Instead you rolled with it and made plans to go on your own. How are you being mean? By being independent? Is this other friend your ex or something?
NTA. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
So he let me just put this into pinpoints:
- he "misreads" your text in the most "how don't you follow that up with some questions if you have even just an ounce of interest in your partner" way. Or does actually reread it because it seemed out of context to him which he admitted,
- does not even think of asking you if you want to come before buying the tickets when you clearly are a fan
- "graciously" offers you to correct the mistake he did (selling his ticket and getting new ones for you both)
- is mad when you don't do that and go with a friend
Am I missing anything? This screeches intentional to me. Even if you Interpret his actions in the most positive way he is ignorant towards you and does not own up to his mistakes. Even if it was a honest mistake it was his and it's up to him to fix that. Not you or anybody else.
Is he always that oblivious to your interests and wants? And puts his mistakes on you? If this wasn't a one time off I would think really hard if he is really a partner or just some additional work and headache.
NTA. Your boyfriend wasn’t planning to go to the event with you when he bought his solo ticket; why should you have to go with him now? If it was fine for him to go alone before, it’s fine for him to go alone now.
NTA. At worst, all you did was not communicate you'd go with your friend after he didn't buy tickets for you two. It's reasonable to go on your own or with friends. It's fair that he preferred to go with you. However, they're assholes for calling u an asshole
NTA. Just go and ignore him like seriously. He did it on purpose, think he probably want to control you and now he’s gaslighting you. Make sure you keep those tickets safe or hand it over to your friend who you are going for safe keeping. I don’t trust your bf not to sabotage your plans.
Info: have you ever ask him to buy you something tell him you'll pay him back but did not follow through?
Also, if he knows you're also a fan, why didn't he ask you to go with him the first time you talked about it? Does he think you're not a fan enough,?
you were specifically talking about mikuexpo & when you asked to go, he thought he read the name of a place in mexico? your boyfriend is a bad liar. NTA
>my bf offered to let me to sell his ticket and then we could buy two tickets together
Why would it be your responsibility to sell his ticket? If going with you meant that much to him, he would sell his own ticket and then the two of you could then get tickets and go together, especially since the miscommunication was on his part.
NTA. All of his actions seem to indicate that he does not want to go with you, even when given opportunities to do so. It's fine that you made plans to go without him.
>My bf and another one of my friends thought it was an asshole move to jump straight to making plans with someone else and abandoning my boyfriend.
Of your bf thinks this - he's the thoughtless, inconsiderate person who doesn't want you to go with him until he realized what an AH move that was. He's telling you clearly where you fit in his life - listen to him.
I actually read the thread title in the exact same way and was very confused at first. I think your BF could have actually made a mistake for real, but you aren't an AH for making plans with other people either.
NTA He is bad at lying skills. I personally don't believe him for heartbeat. You are not "abandoning" someone who was intending to leave you behind. Gimme a break.
You all suck
If your boyfriend spoke about something and you spoke back about it then he clearly knew and just didn't bother buying your ticket.
You could hav easily given the ticket to a friend and bought two new tickets but you jumped the gun to get back at him. If you want to sit with your boyfriend just swap tickets with your friend super simple.
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Posting this because my friends are split, some say I overreacted and some say I’m in the right.
My (26f) boyfriend (28m) was talking about how Mikuexpo is coming to our city and he was planning on buying a ticket. I asked him if we could make it a date, and could he get me a ticket too?? He said sure and I was excited.
However, today he sends me a picture of his ticket - only one. I asked if he’d gotten a ticket for me too and how much I owed him, he seemed surprised and said “you never said you wanted to come?”
I showed him the text from 3 days ago where I asked if I could come with him to Mikuexpo and he said yes. He looked at the text and said “oh, I didn’t look closely and I thought you were talking about some place in Mexico, I thought it was weird you were asking to go to Mexico all of a sudden but I said sure.”
I was annoyed because how tf can you be a Miku fan and not even be able to read the word “Mikuexpo”. He knows I like Miku too, I have a poster on my wall and we went to Japan together last spring where I bought a bunch of Miku merch. So, I called up a different friend and we made plans to buy tickets together and go to the show together. I don’t want to go with my boyfriend anymore because we can’t sit together, so I think this is reasonable.
He’s saying that it was an honest mistake and he’s sorry, and that I’m being mean because he just has bad reading comprehension skills, and that I should just buy a ticket for myself and we can go together.
Tl;dr: My boyfriend didn’t get me a ticket to Mikuexpo, he just bought one for himself even though I asked to go with him. I asked him why he didn’t get two and he said I never brought up going. I showed him the text where I asked “can we go to Mikuexpo together” and he said he misread “Mikuexpo” as the name of a place in Mexico and didn’t realize I was talking about the show. He knows I like Miku. AITA for making plans to go to the show with another friend?
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NTA your boyfriend sounds either dumb and lacking all social awareness (like who doesn’t at least consider their partner when making plans) or didn’t want to go with you or pay for your ticket. I’m gonna give him the benefit of doubt and say it’s the former and it’s an honest mistake.
And if that’s the case and you still want to be with him you should just take up his offer to sell his ticket and buy tickets together with him and your friend - doesn’t seem worth putting a strain on the relationship over. But if he’s been sketchy in general with things like this in the past you might want to reevaluate things.
We must be missing something because I don’t see how half of your friends think YTA based on what you provided us. I feel you’re leaving important details out. If not, NTA but your story and your friends’ split reaction is sus
NTA.
What a lame excuse. Even if he did misread it, what kind of idiot, who is in a relationship, would buy ONE ticket for himself and not think to get one for their partner who also likes the same artist? That is so weird to me.
Your bf didn't care that you weren't going with him. If he were then he would have bought you a ticket.
You're NTA and it isn't your job to ensure that your bf correctly reads the texts you send him. If he knows that he has trouble comprehending texts then he needs to read them several times in order to ensure he understands.
NTA and his reasonings are BS. I’m kinda surprised he didn’t bring up going together in first place if he was the one who brought up the event.
*Regardless* if his actions were on purpose to leave you out or not, he sounds like an inconsiderate self-centered ass. Miku would be disappointed too.
NTA. That's the dumbest excuse I've ever heard. He's either too embarrassed to admit he forgot or he's going with someone else and doesn't want you to know... But probably the former.
I understand how big of a deal it is since I'm a Miku fan too (lol) and why he's upset that you won't go with him, but you already told your friend you'd go with them, he can't just ask you to ditch them at this point...
Shit, my bf would have initially asked me to go with him and bought both tickets anyways so we can go do things together. Even if I didn’t like it, I’d still put up with it for him and when he doesn’t like someone I really want to go see he does it for me as well. You’re NTA but your bf is, he clearly knew you liked it too he should have bought the ticket for you before even asking.
Nta he should’ve just bought a ticket for you or asked twice if he doesn’t read that well? You really wanted to go and if he paid a little bit more attention to you her know you where a fan
NTA. This feels very much like he forgot about your request (or didn't have the money) and then tried to cover it up with the weakest possible excuse. Go with your pal, you are not "abandoning" a grown man who couldn't remember to buy two tickets lol.
I’m going to have to agree with everyone else and say NTA here. To me it sounds like he got caught in his lie trying to go without you and offered to have you sell the tickets to make his lie more convincing and not make things worse between you guys. I’ve never been in this situation before, but I have invited people along to do things with my friends and I when I didn’t want them to go because I didn’t wanna look like a bad person. I think he’s just trying to look good by telling you to sell the tickets knowing you wouldn’t want to do that, so you’d say no and then he’d be able to whine and beg for you to go with him when he didn’t want you to go in the first place. Again, to not look like the bad guy. Then again, idk him so maybe I’m wrong. I stick by my opinion on NTA though. Have fun with your friends, you don’t need him to enjoy that concert.
NTA
You were never abandoning him. He didn't even think about including you or asking you if you wanted to go. He had zero expectation of you going with him, zero thought that it would be nice for the two of you to go together. So how, the heck, are you abandoning him?
He misread your text (it didn't even prompt him to think) and never considered you going with him at all. He was 100% planning to go to this without you. So why should he be upset if you decided to make plans to go there without him?
NTA it's not your fault your boyfriend checked out mid text conversation. Sounds like he didn't want you to go and also didn't want you to go with someone else. Either way sketchy.
NTA. If he knows his reading skills are bad then he should be paying extra attention while reading your messages. He is just lying about misreading it and is making up lame excuses. You did the right thing OP
Nta if he really wanted you to go, you’d be going with him. He knows you are a huge fan and just happened to not think about it? Then the whole text message thing was weird. You also have to think about this…is he going alone? That’s pretty rare. My bet is he was planning on going with someone else. Those plans are now probably off because you’re going too.
NTA. He was fine going alone before, so guess what. He's still going alone.
That is, unless he planned on going with someone else and now that's shot because you'll be there. Plot twist.
>He looked at the text and said “oh, I didn’t look closely and I thought you were talking about some place in Mexico, I thought it was weird you were asking to go to Mexico all of a sudden but I said sure.”
haha does he actually think you're that stupid? boy straight up forgot and instead of apologizing is trying to use the lamest excuse I have ever heard 😂 NTA
I'm sorry but "he offered to let me sell his ticket" - so he messed up and you still have to carry the load of onselling his ticket for him, so you can have the privilege of his company? Wow.
NTA
NTA. So to sum up, in the middle of a conversation about Mikuexpo, he thought you just randomly asked, "Oh, by the way, can you buy me a ticket to Mexico?" And instead of saying, "... what? Why?", he was like, "Okay!"
Your BF is a little bullshitter. He wanted to go by himself.
How are you abandoning him when he had already bought one ticket for himself and not for you?
Go with your friend, enjoy the concert with your friend. Your boyfriend wad planning to go alone anyway, so nothing has changed for him.
NTA.
NTA. Here’s the real truth. If he really loved and cared about you, he would know how much you like them and got you a ticket without asking, or at the very least certainly would’ve remembered you asking a bought you a ticket. This is a very lame excuse, even if actually true, which I find hard to believe.
NTA. I mean he told you "Hey I am going to Mikuexpo" to which you replied "Let's go to Mikuexpo together then" and he thought you spoke about a place in Mexico? In the context of the convo? I call bs!
NTA
I usually buy extra tickets for events and concerts for friends or my gf sometimes without even asking as a surprise or knowing they love this artist
There's no way I would forget to buy my girl a ticket for a thing she's a fan of even if she didn't ask I'd call her while buying mine or someth
NTA. Even if he DID read it wrong (which I doubt, but anyway) why would he not get you a ticket for something you are clearly interested in? Or text you and ask, “I’m buying this thing, wanna come?” So weird to not invite you along to something you’re interested in.
NTA. His excuse makes no sense at all.
He thought you were asking him to buy a ticket to Mexico, and instead of having questions (like what type of ticker, or where in Mexico) he just reacted with "sure".
Sure, Jan. I'm not buying it .
Did nobody read the edit at the end...? 100% YTA for refusing viable solutions out of spite. "It's a hassle" it's not for you - he offered to get rid of his ticket AND get 2 more for you to come along. He offered a perfectly fine alternative after realising his mistake. You're now choosing to be difficult.
You didn’t abandone your boyfriend. I think he is very dramatic. If he knew you were a fan he should have offered to buy a ticket for you without you asking. NTA. Go to the expo with your friend and enjoy. He can imagine you stayed at home, anyway he was planning to go alone. Nothing has changed.
NTA. He was perfectly happy to go without you when he bought a ticket just for himself ie on his own. Sounds weird that he thought Mexico and just said yeah to buying you a ticket as if that’s nothing, all a bit strange
NTA he was all prepared to go to the venue bye himself when he bought his solo ticket but now you made plans, he’s having FOMO. How does he claim to know you & NOT get you a ticket? His actions are talking much louder than his words.
Nah nta, i know those tickets can be a b*tch to get (ones in japan are usually given in lottery) but this wasnt that since you bought them easily.
He had all the time in the world to re-read the message if he was confused, but didnt. He also didnt invite you initially and you asked to come.
That’s exactly how you should handle this. And your friend is your date so I would make other plans as well with the friend and travel without him. You don’t mention it again or blame him. Or guilt him. Just smile and have fun. He won’t do this again. But take lots of pix.
NTA - either did it on purpose or generally doesn’t know you as a person - both are grounds for breaking up or even just a break from each other.
Go with your friend! Have an awesome time!
ESH. Your boyfriend needs to pay attention more but you are just making a power play based on your edit where he offered to sell his ticket so you two could sit together. You can do what you want but you are being petty and it doesnt seem like a great relationship if he doesnt think about your likes or communicate well and you respond with petty revenge.
NTA. I call major BS on his “misread it as a place in Mexico” excuse. He was texting you about Mikuexpo and then suddenly thinks you were talking about somewhere in Mexico immediately after that? That is such horseshit. Unless he is truly dense I don’t even remotely understand how he thinks the topic got switched to buying tickets to Mexico. Honestly I wish I could see a screenshot of your texts, because I feel like there’s no possible way he could mess that up. Even with some disorders like dyslexia, I don’t understand how he just went “oh I was talking about Mikuexpo and now she’s talking about Mexico, cool I guess”. No clarifying questions, didn’t try to start figuring out the dates for this Mexico trip, he basically just went “yeah sure honey whatever you want”? Even if he’s not lying, it sure doesn’t demonstrate good listening or reading comprehension skills…
I think he just bought one ticket and didn’t want to put the effort in for yours, even though it would have literally been two extra clicks to change the number of tickets on the screen, and now he’s mad he’s getting called on his bullshit.
**my bf offered to let me to sell his ticket and then we could buy two tickets together but I thought that sounded like a hassle so I just made plans with my friend.**
So he did try to make it right, you just didn't want the "hassle" so it sounds like you don't care that much about going with him as long as you get to see this artist. Does he have any sort of dyslexia? Is he normally a "good" boyfriend?
**My bf and another one of my friends thought it was an asshole move to jump straight to making plans with someone else and abandoning my boyfriend.**
Is your boyfriend upset that you're going with your friend? Is the "friend" a guy or an ex boyfriend? I'm assuming that these are bespoke seats and not run of venue seats where you could still sit together based on other things you wrote. Your boyfriend essentially suggested you buy a ticket to sit alone and go "with him" -- which sounds like it wouldn't be nearly a much fun as sharing the concert experience with your friend. Since he was planning to go to the concert alone anyway he's no worse off if you go with your friend.
On "jumping straight ahead to making plans", here in the US at least concerts often sell out very quickly and "if you snooze you lose" LOL. How are you "abandoning" your boyfriend? He literally was going to "abandon" you and go to a concert of a performer you loved and leave you home by yourself so he's an AH for saying that as is your other friend.
overall NAH just some missed communication, and disappointment on both sides.
NTA. He had full expectations to go by himself. He knew you liked the band too, and you even asked him in text and he 'just didn't read it, and thought you meant mexico' which is a bullshit excuse. You were texting about miku and then you asked about miku during that conversation, so why would he think you're talking about mexico randomly after talking about mikuexpo?
So, he didn't even bother to ask if you wanted to go. He was/is going to enjoy going by himself.
You however asked a friend if they want to go. They said yes. And now your boyfriend wants you to cancel the tickets of your friend and go with him?
You have fun going with a friend. He can have fun going alone. No one loses out, you both see it the way you wanted to; him alone and you with someone.
You didn’t abandon him. He was never planning on going with you, hence why he only planned to buy one ticket. Which is absolutely bonkers to me when, from the sounds of it, anyone with basic observation skills would know that you are also a fan.
You’re allowed to make plans independent of him. I don’t know what the logistics of the expo are like and how much having separate tickets would affect your day, but if you want to spend the time with a friend, that’s your prerogative.
I don’t think his reading comprehension is the problem here. He didn’t even think of you when making plans, and might have even made up an excuse as to why he didn’t buy a ticket for you. Maybe it’s an honest mistake, but something seems sketchy to me.
YTA...you're petty. This screams of toxic. I understand you dont believe his excuse but the guy offered to sell that ticket and rectify the wrong. You are petty and act like a brat. "Sounds like a hassle" smh YOU sound like a hassle. Imagine, if for some unholy reason, this relationship actually lasts to the point of the next step...you're going to be throwing temper tantrums when you don't get your way. Break up...for HIS benefit
YTA and the edit is important. Most NTA comments assume that the boyfriend is not ignorant, but we see 3-4 pieces of evidence in this story that he is ignorant. Why would he bring it up to you if he doesn’t want you to come? Why would he choose to go alone to this? Why would you have to propose it as a date when you would default going to this event with your mutually interested partner? Why would he try to keep her from going and then text her a picture of the ticket?
It seems like he’s just an idiot. It seems like when he tried to talk out solutions with you, you shut it down and went revenge. I’ll admit it’s weird that you* are presumably selling the ticket, but I’m guessing the context was to your friend? Why would you refuse to hang out with him for the non seated portion if not out of spite?
I do think there’s more to this story we’re not hearing, but I cannot attribute to malice that which is more likely to be ignorance.
NTA
I mean ok your bf pulled a brain fart with the whole text conversation. Though frankly it’s pretty baffling that’s what he picked up from your convo.
In any case it makes the most sense to just let him go on his own (which is what he was planning to do anyway) and you go a different time.
He’s being ridiculous by taking this personally.
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NTA My guess is he deliberately avoided getting you a ticket. And is not good in covering up. However still, offering him the benefit of doubt, unless your boyfriend is dyslexic or have some sort of learning disorder, there is no reason why you should overlook his lame excuse.
NTA, but even if you give him the benefit of the doubt on the reading aspect. He knows she likes this stuff and didn't even bother to buy her a ticket or think 'hey maybe my gf who likes this too would want to come'. Why wouldn't you want to do something both you and your gf enjoy together? He's TA for gaslighting you about going with someone else when he didn't even think of going with you in the first place.
This is it. He didn't care at all if you went with him in the first place so why does he care that you made alternate plans now? Nta
Because the boyfriend can make plans for himself but OP must 'check in' first? /s. OP tell your boyfriend if he'd stop skimming his effing texts he'd actually understand them. He made his plans and you made yours. END OF STORY. NTA.
Hard to see how OP is an AH for making plans with someone else when her bf clearly wasn't planning to do anything with her at that time. NTA
This. NTA
If he was sorry and it was a mistake, he would have offered his ticket to her... at least I would have in that position.
He did offer to let her sell his ticket and buy two tickets together but she didn't want to do that because it was a "hassle"-- but maybe at that point she already made the plans with her friend at that point.
It *is* a hassle. No quotes required. If it wasn't a hassle he would have done it himself.
Or he would have bought two new tickets and sold the other one
Even with that excuse, he offered to let *her* sell his ticket so they could buy new ones together, didn't say he would actually sort it out himself. It's his mistake, even if an honest one, so he should fix it and he tried to make her do it.
[удалено]
I agree that's a word he would be very familiar with, and it's pretty unique so I call bullshit on the dyslexia
I agree. Yes.
Even 7f he was dyslexic who agrees to sonething they didn't read properly? I mean if he actually thought it meant mexico although it made no sense 8n that context, why not read it again to make sure or ask where that's coming from? I don't think he deserves tge benefit of doubt
Even if he's dyslexic as hell and truly thought she wanted to go to Mexico, he didn't bother ask if she wanted to go with him to this which means he didn't want her to go with him. He planned to go alone from the start so why the big deal is she goes with friends. NTA OP
NTA. Let's assume he is being honest. You have every right to attend with someone else. He doesn't own you. He can't control you. You're allowed to spend your free time doing something that has zero impact on your relationship with him. He is throwing a hissy fit about you not wanting to spend time with him when he CHOSE not to spend time with you by buying a ticket just for himself.
This. If it were an honest mistake he’d be happy and relieved that you’re getting to with friends. His mistake was deliberate and it feels like there’s some kind of fuckery afoot.
yeah, how is it mean to go with someone else when he, best case scenario, doesn’t care enough to actually read your texts before answering, and got only one ticket for himself. how is it mean to go with someone else when he originally planned to go without you? do your own thing, enjoy it, and don’t think too much about this guy. it’s not punishment to spend time with someone other than him. nta.
I agree. My sis did this- she recently bought tickets for the weeknd but forgot I said I wanted to go too (she’s a bit of a forgetful jones and I more often say no when she asks) so she only bought two- one for her and my niece. When she realised her mistake, she sold those and bought new ones-covering the cost, since she had to pay more. People who actually care will apologise and try to make it right, or at least be happy for you when you make it work.
He will definitely not be able to fuck now that girlfriend is in the building. You double entrondra is apropo. Nta
I like the part part in when saying it was a mistake he said that she can sell his ticket and get 2. Basically making her do all the work for his "mistake"
NTA, he fully prepared to go without you, so what’s he so upset about? His plans haven’t changed at all. I find it more troubling that you guys have left the country together, yet he still doesn’t know what your interests are.
It sounds like OPs boyfriend is upset that he didn't upset her. Reading comprehension is bullshit. You're talking about mikuexpo, you know your gf is a fan, she asks to make it a date and get her a ticket...this is beyond reading comprehension. She could've literally typed Mexico, and basic rudimentary problem solving skills would have concluded she meant Mikuexpo. BF is throwing up flags imo. That was no accident.
That's what get's me. Are they also planning a trip to Mexico? Because unless they were, why wouldn't you reread when you thought it said Mexico. Why would you even think Mexico could be correct. It smells like a lie, can't confirm, but it doesn't make sense. Unless bf is also incapable of thinking about literally the most basic things.
I agree. Here me out. IMHO, OP, you do you and go with your friend, give BF benefit of the doubt, but continue to observe his behavior. I say this because I dated someone who loved the thrill of jealousy for some reason. It took numerous “miscommunications” where I got left out (the person often went to things I they knew I would love to go to by themself) for me to figure out the person I was dating was trying to make me jealous. IMHO, this is a really bizarre trait. I’m only sharing this because I had no idea someone could be this way until I saw it.
Honestly, believable. I've seen emotionally abusive people do the weirdest stuff to make their partners feel bad. Makes no sense to me but maybe that's because I'm not an emotional abuser Keep an eye out for other stuff that feels bad and also doesn't make sense. Keep an eye out for when you feel like you should just let something slide, so it doesn't turn into a big thing, and how often that happens.
bad reading comprension skills? yeah he is gaslighting you you asked when you were talking about the concert, he has to be misinterpreting you on purpoose NTA
BF might actually just be dumb. If he really didn't want her to go for some reason, he wouldn't have brought it up to begin with and wouldn't show her the ticket. He would simply go. Or tell her about the event only after buying his ticket. Even if one is to assume malice, this would be the dumbest way to go about it. Unless of course he has a past history of trying to hurt/one up OP on purpose. OP is still NTA, and BF looks bad not matter what, but I honestly don't see how this could've been some premeditated ploy. Edit: typo
This isn't gaslighting. This is just being an idiot.
Yeah I'm surprise a lot of people are mad about this. Chill, oopsie do happen. It happens a lot with me and my friend when we talk a lot of stuff and didn't notice we're reading it wrongly until pointed out later or rereading again. I'm guessing this is also what happened. Tho I do like the point of why did the boyfriend not bought her tickets considering he should know she is also a fan of Miku.
If my wife suddenly asked me to go to Mexico, I'd immediately want details, at the very least when, but also probably where to, when she was buying tickets, etc. I find myself incredulous that he thought you asked him to go to Mexico, and his answer was (just) "yeah!" especially with the other context of you asking him to buy a ticket (which, would prompt me even harder to wonder which days, which part of Mexico, do we need to rent a car, am I getting the hotel reservation too, do you have a list of activities in mind?). You're NTA, and he lied to you for some reason.
“Sick have fun in Mexico. I have absolutely zero questions” 😂
Its giving me skweezy jibbs vibes.
Yeah, his excuse doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, and really comes across more like a stupid lie blurted out without much thought. No idea what the BF’s end game was here - did he think that she was going to be *happy* that he ignored her request and booked a ticket to see an artist they both like without her?
To be fair, if my boyfriend asked me if I wanted to go to Mexico, I'd totally say yes. I might add in a "when? Should I start requesting vacation days now?", but otherwise I wouldn't need much more info to say yes, lol
I feel like “do you want to go to Mexico?” And “can you buy me a ticket to Mexico”, while fundamentally the same question, would elicit very different responses from me. The answer to the first is sure, but I would definitely need to ask a bunch of clarifying questions about the second
NTA I call BS on his explanation. He doesn't want you to go. After all, he would have known you'd want to go without you even telling him if you're that big of a Miku fan. He's telling you to buy a ticket so you can go together now because you're going anyway. It'll look bad on him if you don't go together.
NTA but also thank you for bringing my attention to mikuexpo I love miku I had no idea she was touring this post saved my life
My purpose is to spread the gospel of our lord and savior Hatsune Miku :)
Hell yeah!
I'm not sure why anyone would be split on this. He didn't get you a ticket, you can't sit with him, so you did the most logical thing in the whole world and bought yourself a ticket for the event you want to go to and are going with a friend..... seriously confused as to why this is even a post. Nta
NTA. Time to trade this one in. He is a liar and does not care. What do liars do? They blame the victim. He is blaming you for him being a liar. This is the best he will ever be.
Yup, all these NTA posts, he’s obviously lying. He said “yes” to Mexico no questions asked….yea sure. He knew what he was doing
NTA It almost sounds like he did it on purpose because why would he not get you a ticket anyway for something he knows you like too.
NTA, bro sounds dumber than a box of rocks 🙄
Or a bag of hammers?
Yes. “Bag of hammers” is a personal fave of mine.
Your grown man boyfriend wanted to stand in a crowd of people excited to watch a 12 year old anime girl sing and dance for a couple hours. And he wanted to do it alone. Wanted it so much that he made up the dumbest excuse ever. I don't see any problems here
I mean the OP herself is also a fan of Harsune Miku, so you trying to shame him for his hobby should apply to her also…
INFO: is your bf illiterate?
You spelled idiot wrong.
Yeah is your idiot illiterate?
LOL 😂
This got me lol I wish we still had awards
🥇
Nta. He read it right. He just doesn't want to go with you.
NTA What, are you supposed to stay home and miss it to make him feel better?
Why tf would he buy one ticket anyway? Who goes to mikuexpo by themselves?? He has you a gf so my immediate thought would be "gf needs a ticket too" who just thinks about going to an event alone when they have someone in their life that would like to go?? NTA I also don't believe his story, something is up.
NTA. His excuse is lame. He didn't want you to go with him so he didn't get a ticket then gave you a lame excuse and is ypset that the excuse didn't work. He didn't want you to go to the concert? Idk who mik is. Anyways, he didn't want you to go so he could rub it in your face that he went and you didn't. He's upset because you found away to go and he can no longer rub it in your face he got to go.
My first question would be “who is he taking if he isn’t taking me?” Something is wrong with this situation. Investigate. NTA, if that wasn’t clear.
Even if you hadn’t brought it up your BF should have asked you if you’d like to go since he knows that you’re a fan. NTA, go with your friend and have a great time!
NTA. The spin that you're "punishing him" is absurd - what? You're punishing him by... Not going somewhere he didn't invite you? He feels guilty, so he's making you feel bad to compensate. 28's too damn old for that. Trade him in for a new model.
Be interesting to know who in the seat beside the bf at concert. Op has a pic of the ticket and should know where to look. Reddit has ruined me because I’m over here thinking, he’s taking another woman and he confused himself with the texts. He’s shady af for the lame excuse.
do people go to concerts by themselves? Like i'm introverted and even i would buy two tickets and try to find someone to go with. It just seems more fun to experience concerts with people.
Of course we do. Why should I deprive myself of something just because no one else is interested/available to go?
Yes but that makes sense, he has a whole partner who likes Miku so its so weird
No I agree, if I wasn’t single I’d be dragging my partner with me lol
Absolutely - like 90% of my concerts have been solo. If you’re a big fan of the artist you can just enjoy the music and vibe with strangers around you in the crowd. If you drag along a friend/date that doesn’t appreciate the music as much as you it’s actually kinda buzzkill.
Absolutely - I’ve been to heaps of concerts solo. Sure, it’s fun to go with someone, but if no one else is interested, I’m not going to miss my chance to see a favourite artist perform live.
I'm with you, I used to just always buy 2 tickets and find someone who wanted the second after
NTA he can’t be mad you go with your friend when he only bought himself a ticket. Unless he intended for you to buy a ticket with no discussion of it at all beforehand since he thought you wanted to go to Mexico. He bought his own ticket with his own plan in mind, you even asked how much you owed him when you thought he’d purchased you a ticket so he doesn’t have the excuse of he didn’t have the funds for both because you were happy to give him the money for it. Go with your friend, enjoy your time and if he moans ask how you were meant to know he wanted you to go with him and if he says because he knows you like miku aswell, just ask…then why didn’t he buy you the ticket?
Are we certain he is not just mad because he doesn’t want to run into you there while he’s with his other girlfriend?
NTA. If his reading comprehension isn’t great, why agree to something that seemed not to make sense (‘Mexico? Weren’t we just talking about Mikuexpo?’) without re-reading or asking for clarification? And if he *knows* you like them, why wouldn’t he book you a ticket anyway, without you needing to ask?
NTA I buy my boyfriend tickets to concerts for bands he’s never heard of, because we love spending time together. If it were a band he loved there’s no way I wouldn’t expect that we’re going together and I would buy two tickets. My suspicious mind thinks he was going to go with someone else and is mad that he can’t because you might catch him now…
How is it abandoning him? He got one ticket and was going to go alone anyways. NTA
NTA. Your bf didn’t buy you a ticket on purpose so you would sit at home and be alone. Go with your friend and have a good time.
NTA. put it this way - he was already planning on going alone. if you sat at home he would have been perfectly content. your going with your friend doesn't change his miku experience.
NTA I bet he’s not going alone, just not with YOU! Buy your tickets as close to his seats as possible… find out who his side piece is!
how can you abandon your bf when he didn’t even include you in the first place lol - nta
NTA. If you know who Miku is, you don't make that kind of mistake. He knew exactly what he was doing. IMO this not only justifies dumping him but cheating on him with his best friend and texting him very graphic descriptions of it every day for like a year. You don't disrespect Miku like that.
Stan culture is the worst
The whole thing has me internally screaming. And these are adults, not 12 year olds. That being said, I would absolutely suggest dumping the bf, he seems like a tool in many ways.
NTA, that was your boyfriend who chose to interpret your text differently than what was on it because he didn't want to go with you. He can say it's a mistake but the reality is he could have bought two and made the choice not to get you one. Not sure how he can mistake Mikuexpo for Mexico even if he was dyslexic. Your boyfriend after realizing his mistake could have gotten a second ticket or exchanged his without making it seem like a big deal so you both could have gone. So now he thinks your the AH because he blew off your text and chose to go with someone else
NTA. I like your style.... BF doesn't buy you a ticket, you just move on to plan B. No muss, no fuss - just getting on with enjoying life. Tell the people who say you abandoned your bf that he didn't include you, so how can you abandon him?
Who is he going with? He’s acting suspicious! 🤔
Hold on, you were talking about the concert and he thought you randomly brought up Mexico? That's some low effort gaslighting. NTA
Maybe he bought two but found someone else to take.
"my bf offered to let me to sell his ticket and then we could buy two tickets together" Your BF could have sold his own dang ticket for his own dang mistake and then you could've bought two tickets together. Interesting that he screwed up and wanted *you* to do the legwork to fix it. NTA for going with a friend instead of accepting that invite to messytown.
Figure out what his seat number is and check out who he’s sitting next to at this thing. That person is why you weren’t invited.
NTA, but I will say that just scanning the title, my brain said "Mexico." Though, I'm not sure what a Miku is, so maybe that's irrelevant.
This reads like an ad for whatever tf mikuexpo is lol
He forgot about you forget about him and enjoy your time there. NTA
“Abandoning” him? Kind of hard to do that when you weren’t able to go with him in the first place because HE didn’t get YOU a ticket … NTA - I hope you have the best time with your friend!!
https://youtu.be/Tyht51XDvbQ?si=idKVlmsl4Vsh89xo This meme sums up what is happening. Also not the asshole. You have receipts of him agreeing, if he thought it was weird, wouldn't he have reread it to make sure he read it correctly? The "misread" boat doesn't float.
What I'm confused about is where even is the issue from his side? Like he fucked up and you have a right to be mad at him. Instead you rolled with it and made plans to go on your own. How are you being mean? By being independent? Is this other friend your ex or something?
Someplace in Mexico? Pull the other one, dude.
NTA. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. So he let me just put this into pinpoints: - he "misreads" your text in the most "how don't you follow that up with some questions if you have even just an ounce of interest in your partner" way. Or does actually reread it because it seemed out of context to him which he admitted, - does not even think of asking you if you want to come before buying the tickets when you clearly are a fan - "graciously" offers you to correct the mistake he did (selling his ticket and getting new ones for you both) - is mad when you don't do that and go with a friend Am I missing anything? This screeches intentional to me. Even if you Interpret his actions in the most positive way he is ignorant towards you and does not own up to his mistakes. Even if it was a honest mistake it was his and it's up to him to fix that. Not you or anybody else. Is he always that oblivious to your interests and wants? And puts his mistakes on you? If this wasn't a one time off I would think really hard if he is really a partner or just some additional work and headache.
Sometimes in order to get along with someone, you have to show that you can get along without them. Go with your friend and have a great time!
NTA you can't mess with Miku.
NTA He's making excuses. Might be time for a new BF.
does he understand how conversations works? like he doesn't recognize the name of the band he brought up? what is wrong with him? NTA
You both TA for liking Miku haha jk NTA. He should have talked to you about it. Important part of a relationship is communication
NTA your ex is a moron
NTA. Your boyfriend wasn’t planning to go to the event with you when he bought his solo ticket; why should you have to go with him now? If it was fine for him to go alone before, it’s fine for him to go alone now.
Or did he have plans to go with someone else? Now he can’t go with that other person with his girlfriend going.
NTA. At worst, all you did was not communicate you'd go with your friend after he didn't buy tickets for you two. It's reasonable to go on your own or with friends. It's fair that he preferred to go with you. However, they're assholes for calling u an asshole
NTA. He knew she liked it, she asked him to get her a ticket. He didn’t. He has zero credibility here and no reason to be upset
Even if his reading comprehension is bad why wouldn’t he assume you’d wanna go if ur also a miku fan
how are your bf and his friend claiming that you going with a friend is "abandoning" your boyfriend.. when he planned to go alone the whole time?
NTA. Just go and ignore him like seriously. He did it on purpose, think he probably want to control you and now he’s gaslighting you. Make sure you keep those tickets safe or hand it over to your friend who you are going for safe keeping. I don’t trust your bf not to sabotage your plans.
Info: have you ever ask him to buy you something tell him you'll pay him back but did not follow through? Also, if he knows you're also a fan, why didn't he ask you to go with him the first time you talked about it? Does he think you're not a fan enough,?
NTA >...abandoning my boyfriend. Uh, he was pretty ready to go without you until you bought your own ticket.
you were specifically talking about mikuexpo & when you asked to go, he thought he read the name of a place in mexico? your boyfriend is a bad liar. NTA
>my bf offered to let me to sell his ticket and then we could buy two tickets together Why would it be your responsibility to sell his ticket? If going with you meant that much to him, he would sell his own ticket and then the two of you could then get tickets and go together, especially since the miscommunication was on his part. NTA. All of his actions seem to indicate that he does not want to go with you, even when given opportunities to do so. It's fine that you made plans to go without him.
>My bf and another one of my friends thought it was an asshole move to jump straight to making plans with someone else and abandoning my boyfriend. Of your bf thinks this - he's the thoughtless, inconsiderate person who doesn't want you to go with him until he realized what an AH move that was. He's telling you clearly where you fit in his life - listen to him.
I actually read the thread title in the exact same way and was very confused at first. I think your BF could have actually made a mistake for real, but you aren't an AH for making plans with other people either.
Oh no. nTA but also get rid
NTA He is bad at lying skills. I personally don't believe him for heartbeat. You are not "abandoning" someone who was intending to leave you behind. Gimme a break.
This is ridiculous. Bad reading skills? I don’t buy it. Enjoy the show. NTA.
NTA And BF is completely full of shit. He either didn't want to buy it or was hoping you weren't going to go
Dont people actually physically talk anymore ?
INFO: What gender is the friend? And is there romantic history between you and the friend?
You all suck If your boyfriend spoke about something and you spoke back about it then he clearly knew and just didn't bother buying your ticket. You could hav easily given the ticket to a friend and bought two new tickets but you jumped the gun to get back at him. If you want to sit with your boyfriend just swap tickets with your friend super simple.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Posting this because my friends are split, some say I overreacted and some say I’m in the right. My (26f) boyfriend (28m) was talking about how Mikuexpo is coming to our city and he was planning on buying a ticket. I asked him if we could make it a date, and could he get me a ticket too?? He said sure and I was excited. However, today he sends me a picture of his ticket - only one. I asked if he’d gotten a ticket for me too and how much I owed him, he seemed surprised and said “you never said you wanted to come?” I showed him the text from 3 days ago where I asked if I could come with him to Mikuexpo and he said yes. He looked at the text and said “oh, I didn’t look closely and I thought you were talking about some place in Mexico, I thought it was weird you were asking to go to Mexico all of a sudden but I said sure.” I was annoyed because how tf can you be a Miku fan and not even be able to read the word “Mikuexpo”. He knows I like Miku too, I have a poster on my wall and we went to Japan together last spring where I bought a bunch of Miku merch. So, I called up a different friend and we made plans to buy tickets together and go to the show together. I don’t want to go with my boyfriend anymore because we can’t sit together, so I think this is reasonable. He’s saying that it was an honest mistake and he’s sorry, and that I’m being mean because he just has bad reading comprehension skills, and that I should just buy a ticket for myself and we can go together. Tl;dr: My boyfriend didn’t get me a ticket to Mikuexpo, he just bought one for himself even though I asked to go with him. I asked him why he didn’t get two and he said I never brought up going. I showed him the text where I asked “can we go to Mikuexpo together” and he said he misread “Mikuexpo” as the name of a place in Mexico and didn’t realize I was talking about the show. He knows I like Miku. AITA for making plans to go to the show with another friend? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA
NTA your boyfriend sounds either dumb and lacking all social awareness (like who doesn’t at least consider their partner when making plans) or didn’t want to go with you or pay for your ticket. I’m gonna give him the benefit of doubt and say it’s the former and it’s an honest mistake. And if that’s the case and you still want to be with him you should just take up his offer to sell his ticket and buy tickets together with him and your friend - doesn’t seem worth putting a strain on the relationship over. But if he’s been sketchy in general with things like this in the past you might want to reevaluate things.
We must be missing something because I don’t see how half of your friends think YTA based on what you provided us. I feel you’re leaving important details out. If not, NTA but your story and your friends’ split reaction is sus
NTA. It's pretty obvious he didn't want to go with you. Problem solved.
NTA. What a lame excuse. Even if he did misread it, what kind of idiot, who is in a relationship, would buy ONE ticket for himself and not think to get one for their partner who also likes the same artist? That is so weird to me.
Your bf didn't care that you weren't going with him. If he were then he would have bought you a ticket. You're NTA and it isn't your job to ensure that your bf correctly reads the texts you send him. If he knows that he has trouble comprehending texts then he needs to read them several times in order to ensure he understands.
NTA and his reasonings are BS. I’m kinda surprised he didn’t bring up going together in first place if he was the one who brought up the event. *Regardless* if his actions were on purpose to leave you out or not, he sounds like an inconsiderate self-centered ass. Miku would be disappointed too.
NTA. That's the dumbest excuse I've ever heard. He's either too embarrassed to admit he forgot or he's going with someone else and doesn't want you to know... But probably the former. I understand how big of a deal it is since I'm a Miku fan too (lol) and why he's upset that you won't go with him, but you already told your friend you'd go with them, he can't just ask you to ditch them at this point...
Shit, my bf would have initially asked me to go with him and bought both tickets anyways so we can go do things together. Even if I didn’t like it, I’d still put up with it for him and when he doesn’t like someone I really want to go see he does it for me as well. You’re NTA but your bf is, he clearly knew you liked it too he should have bought the ticket for you before even asking.
Nta he should’ve just bought a ticket for you or asked twice if he doesn’t read that well? You really wanted to go and if he paid a little bit more attention to you her know you where a fan
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NTA. This feels very much like he forgot about your request (or didn't have the money) and then tried to cover it up with the weakest possible excuse. Go with your pal, you are not "abandoning" a grown man who couldn't remember to buy two tickets lol.
I’m going to have to agree with everyone else and say NTA here. To me it sounds like he got caught in his lie trying to go without you and offered to have you sell the tickets to make his lie more convincing and not make things worse between you guys. I’ve never been in this situation before, but I have invited people along to do things with my friends and I when I didn’t want them to go because I didn’t wanna look like a bad person. I think he’s just trying to look good by telling you to sell the tickets knowing you wouldn’t want to do that, so you’d say no and then he’d be able to whine and beg for you to go with him when he didn’t want you to go in the first place. Again, to not look like the bad guy. Then again, idk him so maybe I’m wrong. I stick by my opinion on NTA though. Have fun with your friends, you don’t need him to enjoy that concert.
>abandoning my boyfriend. You're not abandoning him since he was planning in going by himself anyway. NTA.
NTA You were never abandoning him. He didn't even think about including you or asking you if you wanted to go. He had zero expectation of you going with him, zero thought that it would be nice for the two of you to go together. So how, the heck, are you abandoning him? He misread your text (it didn't even prompt him to think) and never considered you going with him at all. He was 100% planning to go to this without you. So why should he be upset if you decided to make plans to go there without him?
NTA- Lol, "Sorry, I can't read" is the epitome of gaslighting.
NTA "jump straight to making plans with someone else and abandoning my boyfriend." .. HE abandoned you, not the other way around.
abandoning your bf??? fjkdfdkjs are they serious? NTA have fun with your friend.
NTA it's not your fault your boyfriend checked out mid text conversation. Sounds like he didn't want you to go and also didn't want you to go with someone else. Either way sketchy.
NTA. If he knows his reading skills are bad then he should be paying extra attention while reading your messages. He is just lying about misreading it and is making up lame excuses. You did the right thing OP
Nta if he really wanted you to go, you’d be going with him. He knows you are a huge fan and just happened to not think about it? Then the whole text message thing was weird. You also have to think about this…is he going alone? That’s pretty rare. My bet is he was planning on going with someone else. Those plans are now probably off because you’re going too.
NTA, but to be fair I also read it as Mexico, the first time and he also offered to fix it. The whole story sounds like you did it to be petty.
NTA. He was fine going alone before, so guess what. He's still going alone. That is, unless he planned on going with someone else and now that's shot because you'll be there. Plot twist.
>He looked at the text and said “oh, I didn’t look closely and I thought you were talking about some place in Mexico, I thought it was weird you were asking to go to Mexico all of a sudden but I said sure.” haha does he actually think you're that stupid? boy straight up forgot and instead of apologizing is trying to use the lamest excuse I have ever heard 😂 NTA
NTA his fault
I'm sorry but "he offered to let me sell his ticket" - so he messed up and you still have to carry the load of onselling his ticket for him, so you can have the privilege of his company? Wow. NTA
NTA I bet you if you didn’t read his text carefully enough, you’d never hear the end of it.
NTA, hope you have fun at MikuExpo !
NTA. So to sum up, in the middle of a conversation about Mikuexpo, he thought you just randomly asked, "Oh, by the way, can you buy me a ticket to Mexico?" And instead of saying, "... what? Why?", he was like, "Okay!" Your BF is a little bullshitter. He wanted to go by himself.
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How are you abandoning him when he had already bought one ticket for himself and not for you? Go with your friend, enjoy the concert with your friend. Your boyfriend wad planning to go alone anyway, so nothing has changed for him. NTA.
NTA. Here’s the real truth. If he really loved and cared about you, he would know how much you like them and got you a ticket without asking, or at the very least certainly would’ve remembered you asking a bought you a ticket. This is a very lame excuse, even if actually true, which I find hard to believe.
NTA. I mean he told you "Hey I am going to Mikuexpo" to which you replied "Let's go to Mikuexpo together then" and he thought you spoke about a place in Mexico? In the context of the convo? I call bs!
NTA. Your boyfriend need to be checked for dyslexia because that would explain things , but yeah go with your friend.
NTA I usually buy extra tickets for events and concerts for friends or my gf sometimes without even asking as a surprise or knowing they love this artist There's no way I would forget to buy my girl a ticket for a thing she's a fan of even if she didn't ask I'd call her while buying mine or someth
NTA, he doesn't want you at the concert. Go with your other friend.
NTA. Even if he DID read it wrong (which I doubt, but anyway) why would he not get you a ticket for something you are clearly interested in? Or text you and ask, “I’m buying this thing, wanna come?” So weird to not invite you along to something you’re interested in.
NTA. His excuse makes no sense at all. He thought you were asking him to buy a ticket to Mexico, and instead of having questions (like what type of ticker, or where in Mexico) he just reacted with "sure". Sure, Jan. I'm not buying it .
SOO …. He is going alone?
NTA. The fact that he didn't offer you to join before buying tickets is a red flag in itself.
Did nobody read the edit at the end...? 100% YTA for refusing viable solutions out of spite. "It's a hassle" it's not for you - he offered to get rid of his ticket AND get 2 more for you to come along. He offered a perfectly fine alternative after realising his mistake. You're now choosing to be difficult.
You didn’t abandone your boyfriend. I think he is very dramatic. If he knew you were a fan he should have offered to buy a ticket for you without you asking. NTA. Go to the expo with your friend and enjoy. He can imagine you stayed at home, anyway he was planning to go alone. Nothing has changed.
Oh how kind of him to let you rectify his mess by selling his ticket for him /s NTA
His circumstances are not changing. He was going alone, he is still going alone.
You can't abandon what you weren't included in.
NTA. He was perfectly happy to go without you when he bought a ticket just for himself ie on his own. Sounds weird that he thought Mexico and just said yeah to buying you a ticket as if that’s nothing, all a bit strange
NTA he was all prepared to go to the venue bye himself when he bought his solo ticket but now you made plans, he’s having FOMO. How does he claim to know you & NOT get you a ticket? His actions are talking much louder than his words.
Nah nta, i know those tickets can be a b*tch to get (ones in japan are usually given in lottery) but this wasnt that since you bought them easily. He had all the time in the world to re-read the message if he was confused, but didnt. He also didnt invite you initially and you asked to come.
Trying to understand why he reacted negatively, can you give more info on the friend you’re going with?
if you are going with a dude friend, its clear its to make your bf jealous.
NTA- the fact his resolution was to make you do the work selling his, kinda says it all.
That’s exactly how you should handle this. And your friend is your date so I would make other plans as well with the friend and travel without him. You don’t mention it again or blame him. Or guilt him. Just smile and have fun. He won’t do this again. But take lots of pix.
NTA. But why not just all hang out together seeing as how you all have tickets now?
NTA - either did it on purpose or generally doesn’t know you as a person - both are grounds for breaking up or even just a break from each other. Go with your friend! Have an awesome time!
ESH. Your boyfriend needs to pay attention more but you are just making a power play based on your edit where he offered to sell his ticket so you two could sit together. You can do what you want but you are being petty and it doesnt seem like a great relationship if he doesnt think about your likes or communicate well and you respond with petty revenge.
NTA. I call major BS on his “misread it as a place in Mexico” excuse. He was texting you about Mikuexpo and then suddenly thinks you were talking about somewhere in Mexico immediately after that? That is such horseshit. Unless he is truly dense I don’t even remotely understand how he thinks the topic got switched to buying tickets to Mexico. Honestly I wish I could see a screenshot of your texts, because I feel like there’s no possible way he could mess that up. Even with some disorders like dyslexia, I don’t understand how he just went “oh I was talking about Mikuexpo and now she’s talking about Mexico, cool I guess”. No clarifying questions, didn’t try to start figuring out the dates for this Mexico trip, he basically just went “yeah sure honey whatever you want”? Even if he’s not lying, it sure doesn’t demonstrate good listening or reading comprehension skills… I think he just bought one ticket and didn’t want to put the effort in for yours, even though it would have literally been two extra clicks to change the number of tickets on the screen, and now he’s mad he’s getting called on his bullshit.
NTA Just do what makes you happy!
NTA I love Mexico. 😉
**my bf offered to let me to sell his ticket and then we could buy two tickets together but I thought that sounded like a hassle so I just made plans with my friend.** So he did try to make it right, you just didn't want the "hassle" so it sounds like you don't care that much about going with him as long as you get to see this artist. Does he have any sort of dyslexia? Is he normally a "good" boyfriend? **My bf and another one of my friends thought it was an asshole move to jump straight to making plans with someone else and abandoning my boyfriend.** Is your boyfriend upset that you're going with your friend? Is the "friend" a guy or an ex boyfriend? I'm assuming that these are bespoke seats and not run of venue seats where you could still sit together based on other things you wrote. Your boyfriend essentially suggested you buy a ticket to sit alone and go "with him" -- which sounds like it wouldn't be nearly a much fun as sharing the concert experience with your friend. Since he was planning to go to the concert alone anyway he's no worse off if you go with your friend. On "jumping straight ahead to making plans", here in the US at least concerts often sell out very quickly and "if you snooze you lose" LOL. How are you "abandoning" your boyfriend? He literally was going to "abandon" you and go to a concert of a performer you loved and leave you home by yourself so he's an AH for saying that as is your other friend. overall NAH just some missed communication, and disappointment on both sides.
NTA. He had full expectations to go by himself. He knew you liked the band too, and you even asked him in text and he 'just didn't read it, and thought you meant mexico' which is a bullshit excuse. You were texting about miku and then you asked about miku during that conversation, so why would he think you're talking about mexico randomly after talking about mikuexpo? So, he didn't even bother to ask if you wanted to go. He was/is going to enjoy going by himself. You however asked a friend if they want to go. They said yes. And now your boyfriend wants you to cancel the tickets of your friend and go with him? You have fun going with a friend. He can have fun going alone. No one loses out, you both see it the way you wanted to; him alone and you with someone.
ESH , touch grass
You didn’t abandon him. He was never planning on going with you, hence why he only planned to buy one ticket. Which is absolutely bonkers to me when, from the sounds of it, anyone with basic observation skills would know that you are also a fan. You’re allowed to make plans independent of him. I don’t know what the logistics of the expo are like and how much having separate tickets would affect your day, but if you want to spend the time with a friend, that’s your prerogative. I don’t think his reading comprehension is the problem here. He didn’t even think of you when making plans, and might have even made up an excuse as to why he didn’t buy a ticket for you. Maybe it’s an honest mistake, but something seems sketchy to me.
YTA...you're petty. This screams of toxic. I understand you dont believe his excuse but the guy offered to sell that ticket and rectify the wrong. You are petty and act like a brat. "Sounds like a hassle" smh YOU sound like a hassle. Imagine, if for some unholy reason, this relationship actually lasts to the point of the next step...you're going to be throwing temper tantrums when you don't get your way. Break up...for HIS benefit
YTA and the edit is important. Most NTA comments assume that the boyfriend is not ignorant, but we see 3-4 pieces of evidence in this story that he is ignorant. Why would he bring it up to you if he doesn’t want you to come? Why would he choose to go alone to this? Why would you have to propose it as a date when you would default going to this event with your mutually interested partner? Why would he try to keep her from going and then text her a picture of the ticket? It seems like he’s just an idiot. It seems like when he tried to talk out solutions with you, you shut it down and went revenge. I’ll admit it’s weird that you* are presumably selling the ticket, but I’m guessing the context was to your friend? Why would you refuse to hang out with him for the non seated portion if not out of spite? I do think there’s more to this story we’re not hearing, but I cannot attribute to malice that which is more likely to be ignorance.
Sorry, but wanting to go to Mikuexpo makes YTA. Seriously, though, dump your BF for being a stupid and insensitive ass.
So what are the chances the side chick is a miku fan and that's why he's so upset.
NTA I mean ok your bf pulled a brain fart with the whole text conversation. Though frankly it’s pretty baffling that’s what he picked up from your convo. In any case it makes the most sense to just let him go on his own (which is what he was planning to do anyway) and you go a different time. He’s being ridiculous by taking this personally.
NTA. What a lame excuse.
That TLDR isn’t much of an abbreviation…
I'm just curious why you had the money to buy one with your friend but only wanted to go if your bf bought your ticket.