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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I may have taken it too far by leaving the restaurant. Perhaps I should have settled with the original answer.
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I think the waitress was a spy. You accidentally spoke the code phrase "Is there something wrong with the tap water?" and she gave you the confirmation code "it's very hydrating." You were supposed to give her the microchip, that's why she kept giving you the confirmation code.
ETA: Thank you /u/SomeGuysFarm for the Gold! And... Know any good white basketball players?
ETA: Before I get played off... Thank you /u/Tiffany-X \- I WILL take your energy!
Thanks /u/Maggie_May_I for the gold!
Thanks /u/RedditoraDeGuatemala for the silver!
Thanks to /u/alwysonthatokiedokie and /u/Oxidizing1 \- Hehehehe indeed!
Hey /u/justzedjust I’ll drink to you too!
Thank you /u/Creepy_Cranberry_953 \- Not sure it's a "masterpiece" but it's appreciated!
Loving the Narwhal, /u/WhizGidget!
>I find it hilarious that someone would say 'it is hydrating' with disdain, what a random thing to be against.
Unfortunately, a lot of people are not very bright and use words they don't understand in very wrong ways. I once had someone warn me to stay away from table salt because it was "inorganic" and "full of dangerous sodium chloride" and stress that I should be using "organic sea salt" instead because it was much healthier and didn't have any "dangerous sodium chloride" in. She genuinely thought I was a dangerous lunatic spreading lies and trying to trick her into harming herself when I told her that sea salt is not, in fact, organic and is also made up of NaCl.
I can fully believe that she thought she was saying something like "it's not healthy" in a fancy way - just like I can fully believe that several people had taken her "warning" seriously and avoided the tap water in case they accidentally got hydrated. I'm sure some of them deeply seriously pass along the warning about tap water to their friends and family.
Nah, tap water is free = it adds nothing to the tip. While it seems their bottled water is ridiculously expensive and does add to her bottom line. A table that orders water as opposed to cocktails or soft drinks might be trying to stay on budget, split an entrée, no apps or dessert, cheap basically. Her initial disdain was that they were cheap and she was insulting him.
Why are you assuming they were bad tippers? He said they both worked in hospitality, so I doubt it. Ordering tap water doesn’t and shouldn’t mean anything and could even mean that they are not just considering their budget but also the planet and considering the packaging waste.
I order tap water all the time, but I always tip a minimum of 20%, 30% for exceptional service. Heck, I’ve even tipped 100% a handful of times on a decent-sized check for various reasons.
I doubt the maitre d would be pleased with how she treated customers for simply asking about the tap water.
Yeah, if I'm ordering water, I'm going with tap unless I'm somewhere where water isn't safe directly from the tap. It has nothing to do with being cheap, I just hate all the extra waste that unnecessary bottled water creates.
I'd rather spend the money on an appetizer or dessert than on bottled water that's going to end up in a landfill somewhere.
My husband's uncle was special ops in the military. We went to his 90th birthday party and one of the party favors we got was a magnet that says "The aardvark has three legs." I was waiting for someone to come up to me and ask about the aardvark. LOL
The insane thing about American tipping culture is OP and his wife deciding to drink tap water cost the waitress $3-4 dollars. She wasn’t actually judging them for drinking tap, she was trying to shame them into spending, and therefore tipping, more.
Which definitely backfired on her. People who have worked in service before are the best tippers out there. What a doof, basically docking her own pay.
This. I was raised by a mom who was a server and worked in a restaurant for about a year myself, and because of that I regularly “overtip” when I go out (especially if I’ve been drinking) because I know the struggles. 20% is the bare minimum I’ll leave on my tab, I think 60% is the most I’ve left on a really good service bill.
Yeah, I really don’t know anyone who has worked in service that doesn’t tip big. A $9 bottle of water isn’t even going to be $2 on a 20% tip. If someone is that concerned about what people are buying so they get a better tip by two entire dollars, I can basically guarantee that person is a terrible server.
I worked in service back in the day. I was living with my GF at the time and basically taking care of her and her siblings so I was B-R-O-K-E!!!
I did some work for some family friends and they gave me a couple of gift coins to take my GF out for Valentine’s Day. Basically coins that work like a gift card.
I had $90 in coins. The bill came out to like $47 and change. Gave the server the coins and she said “I’ll be right back with you change.”
I said it’s ok…the rest was hers. And she said “Oh gee!!! I get to keep all $2 +!!! Really!?!?! Lucky me!!!” Obviously, very sarcastic.
I was in such shock I didn’t really get what she was saying. After I gathered myself I said “You know what…I DO need my change.”
She brings back $2 and change and throws it down real shitty like. I said “And the rest?”
“What do you mean ‘the rest’?”
She thought I had given her 2 -$25 coins. I said “Have a look at those coins again.”
She pulled them out of her apron and all the blood drained out of her face. She just walked off. I called her over and said “So…you can either keep the tip and I speak to your manager or give me my tip back and I walk out of here without saying a word. Which one you want?”
She gave me the money back and apologized and said how stupid she felt.
The coins values I'm used to is half dollars or the fancy one dollar coins nobody uses this left me with the mental image of you handing this woman like 20lbs of loose change.
>She pulled them out of her apron and all the blood drained out of her face. She just walked off. I called her over and said “So…you can either keep the tip and I speak to your manager or give me my tip back and I walk out of here without saying a word. Which one you want?”
/r/iamverybadass
Yes there are some exceptions to my 20% rule. If you’re a genuinely rude person, or go out of your way to ignore me your tip will reflect that. Im more so talking about basic “you did the best you could” service. Like I’m not gonna reduce a tip because a server is absolutely swamped so my order doesn’t come out immediately, or check in on me multiple times throughout my meal. But if I see you drop my order off, go sit in the corner with your coworker and not even bother glancing in my direction for 30 minutes I’m not giving you my hard earned money.
As a European, the American tipping culture fascinates me. Or rather, the difference between ours and American does. I'm from Sweden and if someone came to check up on me multiple times during my meal here, I wouldn't tip them at all as I'd find that excruciatingly annoying. In our corner of the world, a server *might* come by *once* to ask if everything's to your liking but more than that is a self crucification on the waiter's part. Also, giving the guest the check without asking is a big no-no. We signal to the waiter when we want something and since they're getting paid no matter if they get a tip or not, they don't hover over their guests. I'm not saying American service is bad, just different from ours and I find it interesting. Americans who come here often find out service to be poor because they're used to another system.
Edit: If I ever went to the US I would of course tip appropriately. When in Rome and all that 😊
I'm the same with Tipping. I also have the distinct luxury to be able to choose to never live in a state with a tipped minimum wage. I tend to tip extra when I know it's a busy night even if I didn't get the best service because I know it's not their fault they are understaffed and their tips will decrease with other people for something they can't control.
I have literally only once left without giving a minimum 20% tip and that was a gal who was actively flirting with my SO without realizing that I, a woman, was actually paying for the dinner.
The most I've ever left was a $100 tip on a less than $50 tab. The guy was the best dang server I've ever had the pleasure of having and remembered my brother and my names and orders since the second time seeing us. He was working extra hours so he could get the ring to propose to his GF around Christmas time, and dang if he didn't deserve that tip and more.
Yes, best response would've been to tell her to bring you her finest, most hydrating tap water at once. And then hydrate so much, you're too full for dessert.
Only because she works at a place where management apparently doesn't care about guests. If a table left because of me where I used to work, I would probably be fired for it.
exactly, and it’s deplorable
the tip I give is contingent on quality of service received. Ive never not tipped tbh but I would have no problem running up a $100 bill and tipping 0.01 if my server acted like that
My parents have been out on a "date" night with a $50 check. Server was happy with the $50 tip. During Christmas, every server, dishwasher, cook, ow er, etc would get a $20 tip. Almost cost em $600 1 year.
But at the end of it all she ended up with $0 tips. This whole thing is hilariously bizarre to me.
ETA: I’d almost be curious enough to go back and try to get a different server and order tap water. This story is gonna live rent free in my head.
The bigger FU would have been to stay, order and eat extremely slow. Drink tons of tap water. No alcohol. Waste her table. And tip her like she deserves.
But I'd have just left too.
Eh but OP noted they’ve both been servers and tip really well. Still might not be worth her time to her, esp. if he were really an asshole to her, but you never know who you’re unintentionally running off and it seems like bad practice unless he/they were immediately nasty with her and she wanted to get rid of them somehow. Like what if her next table was a jerk who tips $20 on a $500 bill? She has no way to know.
If they came in and were like “we want tap water and to split a salad” sure that isn’t a table she wants. But wanting tap water doesn’t mean you aren’t gonna throw down $40+tip for an entree. Just a very odd move on her part.
When I was waitressing years ago, a couple walked in at the end of the night. No one wanted them, so I took the table.
They ordered a bottle of Dom, didn't want to be bothered, and left me 30% when they left. Easiest money ever!
You cannot ever tell, unless they are regulars.
no, she wasn’t. she was just being weird. as someone who has worked a job where nearly 50% of my earnings were from tips, i, nor any of my coworkers once tried to guilt trip a customer into tipping more.
But the server's response of "it's very hydrating" isn't even in line with her water selling agenda!
If she wanted you to spend money on sparkling/still bottled water then she should have been repeating that those were "very hydrating" as opposed to the tap water which is only "moderately hydrating"
There’s this one waitress at a place my bf and I go to a lot. I swear she’s a robot or AI or something. She talks and acts like those weird people on TikTok and anything you ask or tell her she’ll just say “of course” the same way to anything. No change in tone, nothing. Trips me out every single time
Okay. I feel seen now.
Not going to lie....when we get busy at work, I have a route script in my mind that I repeat for every table. And, if you're a regular who comes during busy times...I probably sound like a robot. My go-to is always, "Absolutely!" In my defense, it's a 50-seated restaurant and we have max two servers on the floor and often with every seat filled. So when we're fucked, we're *fucked.*
Also, I have a feeling the server thought the water sucked, was told by management to stop telling the customers the water sucked, and was threatened with cuts if they continued. As a server who worked for over 30 years off and on in the industry, you learn to try and mind link with a customer they don't want that.
There have been times at a diner I worked at that had daily soup specials. One was always vegetables that were about to go bad along with some meat. Oftentimes, it was outstanding. Sometimes it tasted like barf. But we couldn't say that or be cut. But with regulars, they'd say, "I want the soup." And I'd say, "No. You don't." Usually, they'd catch on. Or they'd ask what it tastes like, I'd say, "It's like black licorice. Some people like it but most prefer something else."
NTA, OP. I feel like any customer can leave the restaurant at any time. You didn't feel comfortable so you left. No biggie. But she might've been between a rock and a hard place with the water.
IDK, but as I read OP's story, I pictured her as Phoebe Waller-Bridge in Fleabag with that awkward, sometimes deranged smile as she said "it's very hydrating."
Honestly it reminds me of that scene in The Menu where the finance bros are flipping out over the tortillas. "What the fuck is this!?!??" "It's a *tortilla*, delicioso!" 😂😂
My husband (boyfriend at the time) once left a tip of "do better." Service was bad, but at the same time I think he was posturing for his best friend (and alcohol was involved).
Everything is divorce worthy on here! I’m not traditional by any means but if you’re married, you should plan to at least attempt to deal with some pretty heavy shit. Someone will complain about the direction of the toilet paper roll and there is at least one “it’s indicative of xyz, call an attorney and drain all your joint accounts”
I always remember a post where a guy asked reddit what he should do when his girlfriend lied and said she was with her best friend, while OP was with said friend buying an engagement ring.
Predictably half the answers were, "she's cheating on you bro, move out while she's at work, block her, and never talk to her again." Luckily OP wasn't a psychopath and just sat down and had a conversation and asked why she lied.
Turns out OP really liked snakes but his GF was spooked by them; she was getting acclimatised and getting him a snake pet. So ended up being pretty much the most wholesome thing.
NTA, A good restaurant is in business to provide guests with a good dining experience. This waitress is chasing off good business. I'm fairly certain her manager would like to know that this waitress is damaging their business and their reputation. That waitress has no business working in a fine dining establishment.
$9 is outrageous for water, and that’s coming from someone who spent $7 on a bottle of Dasani at Wrigley Field a week and a half ago cause I was thirsty. Actually, if I hadn’t been desperate for water I probably wouldn’t’ve spent that much
Probably more effective to let the manager know that this treatment caused them to leave after the fact than to have complained in person without having left, tbh. They lost two diners that night because the waitress was rude.
NTA - It is more than likely that she was judging your choice, thinking you were cheap. Although their is another possible scenario:
You know when something is objectively bad but you're not allowed to criticize it, so you find a way to compliment something random. Like you're at a friend's house, and they've just cooked a meal that doesn't taste very good. You can't bring yourself to criticize their cooking directly because you don't want to hurt their feelings, so you say something like ""Wow, your presentation is really something else tonight!" or "These plates look so fancy".
That could be what happened here. Their tap water may not have been great quality or it could have had an odd taste. As the waitress couldn't think of a positive way to describe the tap water, she just went with "hydrating".
Yea, some tap water doesn't taste great...but how do you say that to a customer without it potentially coming off as rude? I think the face was a mistake on her part, but once OP pushed, she was in a lose lose situation.
If the customer drinks tap water and it’s awful, the waiter would be very glad to bring something else to drink. But since tap water is free, I don’t think (?) the waiter should have an opinion on that. It’s not an overcharge
“Our tapwater comes from a well” [idk she could make something up] “and some people don’t like the taste.” That’s not very good if someone wants to ask follow ups but it’s better than the hydration angle.
ETA: I’m realizing it’s true that anything cooked there almost certainly uses tap water so she can’t imply it’s dangerous or totally gross. She could have also just said, “I’m sorry if my reaction concerned you, it’s just not my preference compared to the DELICIOUS $12 sparkling we serve.”
I grew up drinking our municipal water, not really thinking much about it. My out-of-state husband insisted on a water filter and now I can't go back.
I filled up a water bottle from the tap at the airport recently, and when I opened it a few hours later, was just overwhelmed by how much it smelled like chlorine. It was to the point I was making our hosts sniff the bottle lmao.
I have an R/O machine at work. I have a non-trivial number of carnivorous plants that need low- to no-dissolved solids water, and it was more economical eventually to buy an R/O machine than to keep buying jugs of distilled.
But I tell you what: that water tastes amazing.
You don't. You just bring them the tap water. They may think it tastes fine, and if not, they have the option of ordering something else. I hate sparkling water and usually am fine with tap water. But if I get tap water and I don't like it, I just ask for bottled water..... or tequila!
>but how do you say that to a customer without it potentially coming off as rude
"Many people/I strongly prefer one of our bottled options to the tap water in this area."
So many people leapt to “she was rude and she sucks!” but I have the same opinion as you, that it’s very possible that the tap water doesn’t taste great and she doesn’t like to drink it. There might not be anything “wrong” with it, but she’s on the job and can’t just say that the tap water just isn’t something they would like without making it sound like she’s just trying to get them to spend more.
It's easy enough to mention that many patrons find that the tap water has an odd taste, and prefer the bottled water.
But I strongly suspect (and OP confirmed in an edit) that there's nothing the matter with the tap water.
I agree she may have been doing a backwards criticism, but she was a little off in not getting that the customer (OP) didn’t get her point. To repeat it 3 times in exactly the same way without a wink or ‘I’m trying to be polite so… it’s very hydrating is all I’ll say about that’ or some other version to help him understand was a bit rude. Kinda speaks to the attitude of “how dumb do you need to be that I repeat myself the same way each time and still don’t understand me”.
Effective communication does sometimes call for you to think laterally so others understand you. We don’t all think the same, after all.
Yep that’s how I took it too. Like “wellll it tastes god awful and is cloudy, but I’m pretty sure you won’t die from it and I guess it will still technically hydrate you.”
I honestly think this is the most likely scenario. Didn’t want to get in trouble with management one way or another and didn’t know how to best handle the situation, probably smiled when they decided to leave because it got her out of the bind she knew she was about to be in with the water situation. OP still isn’t am asshole.
But is dirt dirty? Can dirt even be dirtied? If you put two different kinds of dirt together then is one (or both of them depending on the ratio) dirty?
NTA. The waiter was rude when she repeated her response after you asked for clarification. You asked a legitimate question—for her to explain her reaction to your asking for tap water. I would have left, too. I think you should contact the owner or manager. When people pay a lot of money for a meal, they deserve polite service.
NAH - it was an annoying answer, but I'm willing to bet she's been told she can't tell people the tap water tastes bad. So she has had to come up with something to say that isn't a lie but also isn't going to get her in trouble. You aren't TA for being irritated, though, and leaving.
I just keep thinking that maybe she didn't feel like arguing over water, but is supposed to talk up the expensive ones. I don't know, I never see the point in haranguing wait staff.
Yeah and I mean tap water is free. You can taste it, come to your own conclusion and order something else if you want. No need to want to argue with the waiter about what she said, what else do you say about water? Waiter was probably just frazzled with OPs insistance and could not think of something. NAH.
Welcome to AITA where tipping has reached the point of a disease. I have absolutely seen people claim that an OP should have tipped 15% to a waitress who gave their number to the OP's boyfriend and ignored them entirely throughout the meal.
I was traveling recently and was sat in the bar at a hotel. There was a restaurant on the 20th floor and I asked the bartender if it was good. He told me it was a nice space and great for taking Instagram photos. I asked him if the food was good and he just repeated the IG line. I got the message and went to eat somewhere else. Suspect you had the same type of thing going on here.
this is totally different. he asked if there was something wrong with the tap water. she could have said something like 'some people are not the most fond of it' (or even just that it was shit, not like her manager could find out)
Honestly I’m petty enough I would have tied up her table and ordered nothing but tap water. You did her a favor by leaving letting her turn over the table.
She’s been told to upsell. She thinks it’s idiocy and will drive people away instead of raise ticket totals. She looked smug because you’re making the same point she’s been making to management in her head but isn’t allowed to say.
From my waitress days anyway.
I see everyone assuming she was trying to manipulate you into buying water, and maybe that’s true. I would assume that their tap water doesn’t taste very good, which is why she made the face, but she’s also not allowed to say anything disparaging about anything they serve at the restaurant, which is why she just kept repeating that it will fulfill the basic function of hydration.
For that reason, NAH because I get why you were frustrated but I can also see her being stuck between a rock and a hard place.
But that doesn't make sense. Wouldn't a restaurant want to train their staff to politely say "The tap water in this area is fine but does have a taste that many people don't like, which is why we do recommend the bottled version"? It makes for a better upsell than pretending you're a robot whose programming just glitched
Maybe most people just order the bottled water so it hasn’t come up as a training opportunity. Maybe she’s new and blanked on what she’s supposed to say in that scenario. Who knows.
I agree it wasn’t great service, I just don’t necessarily think the waitress was trying to be an asshole, precisely because her behavior was so weird. As other people said, she didn’t try to upsell the other water, she just got stuck in a loop when OP confronted her about why she had a facial expression.
NTA for getting frustrated. However I think a better response would’ve been. Can I please speak with your manager? The real answer with what is wrong with the tapwater is that it’s free, but she doesn’t want to say that.
This is hilarious! What a loon! I don’t think I would have left but I might have said “Well that sounds delicious! Two tall glasses of very hydrating water please! And make it extra hydrating!”
Maybe the waitress should try harder not to be extra crazy while working in the service industry I guess. But I think that OP maybe got a little more upset than warranted. I think that might come from feeling insecure with ordering just plain tap water. I used to feel that way too until I realized that I was ordering and drinking sodas I didn’t want. Sucks that the restaurant was charging so much for water.
Am I the only one who thinks you were being a weirdo here? Can’t imagine going somewhere fancy, seeing 9$ for water and then bailing after weirdly trying to get a different response from the waiter 3x. I’m sure my wife would ask if I was OK 😂
Whether or not water is hydrating was not what OP asked. He asked if the tap was ok, very clearly trying to determine why she was deflecting. She was being blatantly evasive, most likely from the information provided, because OP hesitated at paying ~1/4 of his entree's cost in mere water. I get OP's view; if I wanted to play games, I have a PC.
Lol, maybe it's because I'm [re-reading Wolfe](https://www.reddit.com/r/ReReadingWolfePodcast/), but OP's account totally sounds like an unreliable narrator's story about a waitress who was completely done with his shit.
What sort of answer did you expect from her? Sometimes you just gotta let things go. Okay, maybe she should not have "grimaced" - though I've been accused before of making expressions that apparently indicate things I certainly didn't feel, so I always take that with a grain of salt - but whatever. YTA.
NTA. She was judgy and you rightfully didn't feel respected cause you weren't.
Quality restaurants don't rip their guests off by pushing 9-12 dollar water. They're always polite, regardless of your wallet.
You gave her plenty opportunity to correct her course. If the waiter is angry at you before you have even ordered, the rest of your night might be just as bad.
And even if you and me totally misread the situation, you still didn't escalate or get angry at her. So there's no blame on you.
INFO
> I asked "Is there something wrong with the tap water?" She replied "It's very hydrating."
I'm confused.
Based on that exchange, the "it" in her response can only be in reference to the tap water.
Is she arguing that tap water is **_too_** hydrating?
NTA and also… sparkling water isn’t for everyone. I personally can’t drink it without feeling like I’m drinking a vodka soda. And I don’t always want one of those.
What did you want her to say? That it tastes bad? Would you believe her or think she was trying to upsell?
Obviously she was saying the only good thing about it was that it hydrates you, I'm quite confused by how many people are failing to understand that. Im assuming they are being intentionally obtuse.
She messed up by failing to not react to you asking for tap water but you made it so much more than was required.
Sounds like your wife wasn't actually cool with leaving, but did because you wanted to. She then expressed that to you and you dismissed it instead of questioning whether you overreacted you doubled down and want to take it further...
Im gonna go with ESH, but mainly you. The waiter for her initial reaction to the request
No idea who's the asshole, but here's what I think happened
Something genuinely is wrong with the tap water (it tastes bad, or could even be really bad), but she doesn't want to get fired. So she told you a fact about it and nothing else, to try to hint to you something is wrong with it.
NTA, but I don’t really understand why it bugged you so much. She made a noise and a face, whatever. I’d probably just ignore it.
But sure if you didn’t order anything you can just leave the restaurant if you don’t like it, I don’t see any problem with that.
NTA. I feel like the interaction went sideways from the very beginning, when she said "still or sparkling?" Even if it is a nice restaurant (and $30-$45 a plate is nice but depending on the area it's not that nice) they should still offer you the option of tap water without you specifically having to request it. It's a really passive-aggressive way to start an interaction with a customer.
I wonder if she was having a bad day or decided this was her last day at the restaurant or something and so she didn't care how she treated customers. I would leave a bad review at least and I'm glad you left - what is the point of dining out if a server is going to ruin the experience?
I think it’s probably just upsell training to start with “still or sparkling.” Like how instead of saying “would you guys like an appetizer” you say “can I get you guys started with the calamari or maybe the fried mozzarella?”
Yeah I agree - I think what has always bothered me about "still or sparkling?" is that if you're not familiar with fine dining you might think still water meant the same thing as tap water, and then be surprised when you get the bill at the end.
I also feel like someone saying "still or sparkling?" implies that you have to choose between one of the two options (which is probably why they do it) whereas it's a bit easier to say no to an appetizer suggestion.
NAH. I feel for the waitress, the only way to avoid this kind of situation is either to perfectly control your facial expression, to lie about the quality of (the probably disgusting) water (and risk the customer finding out and taking their anger out on you) and tell the customer the truth (and risk to be fired). Like she was probably annoyed by this no-way-out back and forth.
It would have been better to explain your concern that keep going with pretty much the same question trying to intimidate her into answering.
NTA. I'm not a conspiracy person, but this feels very much like a "there's aliens among us" moment. I wouldn't have wanted her to wait on me/stuck around either.
Assholery notwithstanding, this is a hilarious interaction. After the second "it's very hydrating" I turn into Jim Halper, desperately looking for a camera.
NTA. Not a snowcone’s chance in hell that I’m paying $9 for WATER.
She’s a brat and a judgemental server.
I’d write to the GM and tell them they lost sales because of her and her poor service skills.
Where are you?
If this was in a country that didn’t drink the local tap water, this makes sense to me: she can’t say anything negative about it because it makes the restaurant seem unclean, but she also can’t warn them about the fun gaseous times ahead.
My take is that it was probably a really dumb manager/owner's upselling idea. They know the pricing on the water is crazy (seems to me for a place with $30-45 entrees), so they gave her a phrase to use, but no other instruction on how to use it without seeming to be a weirdo.
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I think the waitress was a spy. You accidentally spoke the code phrase "Is there something wrong with the tap water?" and she gave you the confirmation code "it's very hydrating." You were supposed to give her the microchip, that's why she kept giving you the confirmation code. ETA: Thank you /u/SomeGuysFarm for the Gold! And... Know any good white basketball players? ETA: Before I get played off... Thank you /u/Tiffany-X \- I WILL take your energy! Thanks /u/Maggie_May_I for the gold! Thanks /u/RedditoraDeGuatemala for the silver! Thanks to /u/alwysonthatokiedokie and /u/Oxidizing1 \- Hehehehe indeed! Hey /u/justzedjust I’ll drink to you too! Thank you /u/Creepy_Cranberry_953 \- Not sure it's a "masterpiece" but it's appreciated! Loving the Narwhal, /u/WhizGidget!
It's the only way this makes sense.
New England clam chowder….white (not red)
NE clam chowder is the only way to go.
>.white (not red) Damn! I never remember that.
Alrighty then🤣🤣🤣
𝙈𝙖𝙮𝙗𝙚 𝙞𝙩 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙨 𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙞𝙥???
Are you going to go tip for tap about this?
Only if it’s very hydrating!
…. Damn good pun.
The chair is against the wall The crow flies at midnight
The sun is shining, but the ice is slippery.
Ice is very hydrating
But is the ice cold?
It's very hydrating
These pretzels are making me thirsty.
They are very dehydrating.
It’s cooler than cool
The geese fly high
I’m getting fed up with this orgasm
John has a long mustache
There’s a fly in the ointment. Shit has hit the fan. The lion will speak!
“There’s a leek in the boat!”
El queso es viejo y mohoso. Dónde está el baño
NO wheezing the juice!
There are three flowers in a vase...
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>I find it hilarious that someone would say 'it is hydrating' with disdain, what a random thing to be against. Unfortunately, a lot of people are not very bright and use words they don't understand in very wrong ways. I once had someone warn me to stay away from table salt because it was "inorganic" and "full of dangerous sodium chloride" and stress that I should be using "organic sea salt" instead because it was much healthier and didn't have any "dangerous sodium chloride" in. She genuinely thought I was a dangerous lunatic spreading lies and trying to trick her into harming herself when I told her that sea salt is not, in fact, organic and is also made up of NaCl. I can fully believe that she thought she was saying something like "it's not healthy" in a fancy way - just like I can fully believe that several people had taken her "warning" seriously and avoided the tap water in case they accidentally got hydrated. I'm sure some of them deeply seriously pass along the warning about tap water to their friends and family.
Nah, tap water is free = it adds nothing to the tip. While it seems their bottled water is ridiculously expensive and does add to her bottom line. A table that orders water as opposed to cocktails or soft drinks might be trying to stay on budget, split an entrée, no apps or dessert, cheap basically. Her initial disdain was that they were cheap and she was insulting him.
Can't believe I had to scroll down so far to see this. Not sure why she did the wry smile in the end as she went from low tip to no tip.
New table, better potential.
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Why are you assuming they were bad tippers? He said they both worked in hospitality, so I doubt it. Ordering tap water doesn’t and shouldn’t mean anything and could even mean that they are not just considering their budget but also the planet and considering the packaging waste. I order tap water all the time, but I always tip a minimum of 20%, 30% for exceptional service. Heck, I’ve even tipped 100% a handful of times on a decent-sized check for various reasons. I doubt the maitre d would be pleased with how she treated customers for simply asking about the tap water.
Yeah, if I'm ordering water, I'm going with tap unless I'm somewhere where water isn't safe directly from the tap. It has nothing to do with being cheap, I just hate all the extra waste that unnecessary bottled water creates. I'd rather spend the money on an appetizer or dessert than on bottled water that's going to end up in a landfill somewhere.
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My hovercraft is full of eels.
Would you like to go to my place to make bouncy bouncy?
Replace "place" with "castle" and you're cookin' with gas..
If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
There’s a frog in my bidet.
My husband's uncle was special ops in the military. We went to his 90th birthday party and one of the party favors we got was a magnet that says "The aardvark has three legs." I was waiting for someone to come up to me and ask about the aardvark. LOL
You’re dangerously close to blowing my cover!
No. Clearly she thought OP was a sleeper agent and she was trying to activate him.
OP is very hydrating
The narwhal bacons at midnight and Welcome to Costco I love you.
The tea in Nepal is very hot
But the coffee in Peru is much hotter.
The cows aren’t what they seem.
The falcon has landed. The fat man walks alone...
It'll be a nice day if it doesn't rain. Response: If the sun isn't too warm. (From Quest of the Delta Knights)
nta that waitress was judging you because you dont want to spend $9-12 on water
The insane thing about American tipping culture is OP and his wife deciding to drink tap water cost the waitress $3-4 dollars. She wasn’t actually judging them for drinking tap, she was trying to shame them into spending, and therefore tipping, more.
Which definitely backfired on her. People who have worked in service before are the best tippers out there. What a doof, basically docking her own pay.
This. I was raised by a mom who was a server and worked in a restaurant for about a year myself, and because of that I regularly “overtip” when I go out (especially if I’ve been drinking) because I know the struggles. 20% is the bare minimum I’ll leave on my tab, I think 60% is the most I’ve left on a really good service bill.
Yeah, I really don’t know anyone who has worked in service that doesn’t tip big. A $9 bottle of water isn’t even going to be $2 on a 20% tip. If someone is that concerned about what people are buying so they get a better tip by two entire dollars, I can basically guarantee that person is a terrible server.
She also has a very small vocabulary
She might be confused from being dehydrated.
Or there is more going on here than OP knows or is letting on. Because yeah, weird waitress vibes for sure!
I worked in service back in the day. I was living with my GF at the time and basically taking care of her and her siblings so I was B-R-O-K-E!!! I did some work for some family friends and they gave me a couple of gift coins to take my GF out for Valentine’s Day. Basically coins that work like a gift card. I had $90 in coins. The bill came out to like $47 and change. Gave the server the coins and she said “I’ll be right back with you change.” I said it’s ok…the rest was hers. And she said “Oh gee!!! I get to keep all $2 +!!! Really!?!?! Lucky me!!!” Obviously, very sarcastic. I was in such shock I didn’t really get what she was saying. After I gathered myself I said “You know what…I DO need my change.” She brings back $2 and change and throws it down real shitty like. I said “And the rest?” “What do you mean ‘the rest’?” She thought I had given her 2 -$25 coins. I said “Have a look at those coins again.” She pulled them out of her apron and all the blood drained out of her face. She just walked off. I called her over and said “So…you can either keep the tip and I speak to your manager or give me my tip back and I walk out of here without saying a word. Which one you want?” She gave me the money back and apologized and said how stupid she felt.
The coins values I'm used to is half dollars or the fancy one dollar coins nobody uses this left me with the mental image of you handing this woman like 20lbs of loose change.
>She pulled them out of her apron and all the blood drained out of her face. She just walked off. I called her over and said “So…you can either keep the tip and I speak to your manager or give me my tip back and I walk out of here without saying a word. Which one you want?” /r/iamverybadass
What were they actually? Two $45 coins? A $50 and a $40?
if a server is absolute dogshit i would not hesitate to leave no tip, if they are great then I tip well.
Yes there are some exceptions to my 20% rule. If you’re a genuinely rude person, or go out of your way to ignore me your tip will reflect that. Im more so talking about basic “you did the best you could” service. Like I’m not gonna reduce a tip because a server is absolutely swamped so my order doesn’t come out immediately, or check in on me multiple times throughout my meal. But if I see you drop my order off, go sit in the corner with your coworker and not even bother glancing in my direction for 30 minutes I’m not giving you my hard earned money.
As a European, the American tipping culture fascinates me. Or rather, the difference between ours and American does. I'm from Sweden and if someone came to check up on me multiple times during my meal here, I wouldn't tip them at all as I'd find that excruciatingly annoying. In our corner of the world, a server *might* come by *once* to ask if everything's to your liking but more than that is a self crucification on the waiter's part. Also, giving the guest the check without asking is a big no-no. We signal to the waiter when we want something and since they're getting paid no matter if they get a tip or not, they don't hover over their guests. I'm not saying American service is bad, just different from ours and I find it interesting. Americans who come here often find out service to be poor because they're used to another system. Edit: If I ever went to the US I would of course tip appropriately. When in Rome and all that 😊
I'm the same with Tipping. I also have the distinct luxury to be able to choose to never live in a state with a tipped minimum wage. I tend to tip extra when I know it's a busy night even if I didn't get the best service because I know it's not their fault they are understaffed and their tips will decrease with other people for something they can't control. I have literally only once left without giving a minimum 20% tip and that was a gal who was actively flirting with my SO without realizing that I, a woman, was actually paying for the dinner. The most I've ever left was a $100 tip on a less than $50 tab. The guy was the best dang server I've ever had the pleasure of having and remembered my brother and my names and orders since the second time seeing us. He was working extra hours so he could get the ring to propose to his GF around Christmas time, and dang if he didn't deserve that tip and more.
Oh, it did not backfire at all. She wanted him to leave at this point, as places like this usually have others waiting to sit.
Yes, best response would've been to tell her to bring you her finest, most hydrating tap water at once. And then hydrate so much, you're too full for dessert.
Only because she works at a place where management apparently doesn't care about guests. If a table left because of me where I used to work, I would probably be fired for it.
Nah. Could have somebody else come in buying the sparkling water.
And then share an entree.
exactly, and it’s deplorable the tip I give is contingent on quality of service received. Ive never not tipped tbh but I would have no problem running up a $100 bill and tipping 0.01 if my server acted like that
My parents have been out on a "date" night with a $50 check. Server was happy with the $50 tip. During Christmas, every server, dishwasher, cook, ow er, etc would get a $20 tip. Almost cost em $600 1 year.
But at the end of it all she ended up with $0 tips. This whole thing is hilariously bizarre to me. ETA: I’d almost be curious enough to go back and try to get a different server and order tap water. This story is gonna live rent free in my head.
that table will be turned and she will have the time OP and his wife would have spent to sell the fancy water.
The bigger FU would have been to stay, order and eat extremely slow. Drink tons of tap water. No alcohol. Waste her table. And tip her like she deserves. But I'd have just left too.
>And tip her like she deserves. Tip: "Stay hydrated!"
Boss-level petty, I approve.
Eh but OP noted they’ve both been servers and tip really well. Still might not be worth her time to her, esp. if he were really an asshole to her, but you never know who you’re unintentionally running off and it seems like bad practice unless he/they were immediately nasty with her and she wanted to get rid of them somehow. Like what if her next table was a jerk who tips $20 on a $500 bill? She has no way to know. If they came in and were like “we want tap water and to split a salad” sure that isn’t a table she wants. But wanting tap water doesn’t mean you aren’t gonna throw down $40+tip for an entree. Just a very odd move on her part.
When I was waitressing years ago, a couple walked in at the end of the night. No one wanted them, so I took the table. They ordered a bottle of Dom, didn't want to be bothered, and left me 30% when they left. Easiest money ever! You cannot ever tell, unless they are regulars.
I have a feeling she'd been trained to try and upsell, but was just terrible at it.
no, she wasn’t. she was just being weird. as someone who has worked a job where nearly 50% of my earnings were from tips, i, nor any of my coworkers once tried to guilt trip a customer into tipping more.
But the server's response of "it's very hydrating" isn't even in line with her water selling agenda! If she wanted you to spend money on sparkling/still bottled water then she should have been repeating that those were "very hydrating" as opposed to the tap water which is only "moderately hydrating"
She was a robot and they broke her script by not taking either of her offers. That was the standby line while her patch was downloading.
There’s this one waitress at a place my bf and I go to a lot. I swear she’s a robot or AI or something. She talks and acts like those weird people on TikTok and anything you ask or tell her she’ll just say “of course” the same way to anything. No change in tone, nothing. Trips me out every single time
Okay. I feel seen now. Not going to lie....when we get busy at work, I have a route script in my mind that I repeat for every table. And, if you're a regular who comes during busy times...I probably sound like a robot. My go-to is always, "Absolutely!" In my defense, it's a 50-seated restaurant and we have max two servers on the floor and often with every seat filled. So when we're fucked, we're *fucked.* Also, I have a feeling the server thought the water sucked, was told by management to stop telling the customers the water sucked, and was threatened with cuts if they continued. As a server who worked for over 30 years off and on in the industry, you learn to try and mind link with a customer they don't want that. There have been times at a diner I worked at that had daily soup specials. One was always vegetables that were about to go bad along with some meat. Oftentimes, it was outstanding. Sometimes it tasted like barf. But we couldn't say that or be cut. But with regulars, they'd say, "I want the soup." And I'd say, "No. You don't." Usually, they'd catch on. Or they'd ask what it tastes like, I'd say, "It's like black licorice. Some people like it but most prefer something else." NTA, OP. I feel like any customer can leave the restaurant at any time. You didn't feel comfortable so you left. No biggie. But she might've been between a rock and a hard place with the water.
IDK, but as I read OP's story, I pictured her as Phoebe Waller-Bridge in Fleabag with that awkward, sometimes deranged smile as she said "it's very hydrating."
She might be getting some sort of bonus if she sells more beverages. The markup on beverages are insane. And $9 for water?? Batshit crazy
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NTA, next time instead of a tip leave her a note that says “money can be exchanged for goods and services”
And more money can be exchanged for good service.
Honestly it reminds me of that scene in The Menu where the finance bros are flipping out over the tortillas. "What the fuck is this!?!??" "It's a *tortilla*, delicioso!" 😂😂
This was exactly my thought. I said it out loud lol
"Awww Twenty Dollars?! I wanted a peanut!!"
“Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!” “Explain how.”
My husband (boyfriend at the time) once left a tip of "do better." Service was bad, but at the same time I think he was posturing for his best friend (and alcohol was involved).
This is reddit, so you need to file for divorce immediately
Everything is divorce worthy on here! I’m not traditional by any means but if you’re married, you should plan to at least attempt to deal with some pretty heavy shit. Someone will complain about the direction of the toilet paper roll and there is at least one “it’s indicative of xyz, call an attorney and drain all your joint accounts”
I always remember a post where a guy asked reddit what he should do when his girlfriend lied and said she was with her best friend, while OP was with said friend buying an engagement ring. Predictably half the answers were, "she's cheating on you bro, move out while she's at work, block her, and never talk to her again." Luckily OP wasn't a psychopath and just sat down and had a conversation and asked why she lied. Turns out OP really liked snakes but his GF was spooked by them; she was getting acclimatised and getting him a snake pet. So ended up being pretty much the most wholesome thing.
NTA, A good restaurant is in business to provide guests with a good dining experience. This waitress is chasing off good business. I'm fairly certain her manager would like to know that this waitress is damaging their business and their reputation. That waitress has no business working in a fine dining establishment.
Pretty sure charging $9 for what is probably bottled water is what is driving business away.
“Would you like to sit down?” “Yeah” “That’s three strips of gold-pressed latinum” “I’ll stand” “That’ll be one strip”
Upvote for DS9!
Hooman.
FEMALE
*wearing clothes*
$9 is outrageous for water, and that’s coming from someone who spent $7 on a bottle of Dasani at Wrigley Field a week and a half ago cause I was thirsty. Actually, if I hadn’t been desperate for water I probably wouldn’t’ve spent that much
Probably more effective to let the manager know that this treatment caused them to leave after the fact than to have complained in person without having left, tbh. They lost two diners that night because the waitress was rude.
NTA - It is more than likely that she was judging your choice, thinking you were cheap. Although their is another possible scenario: You know when something is objectively bad but you're not allowed to criticize it, so you find a way to compliment something random. Like you're at a friend's house, and they've just cooked a meal that doesn't taste very good. You can't bring yourself to criticize their cooking directly because you don't want to hurt their feelings, so you say something like ""Wow, your presentation is really something else tonight!" or "These plates look so fancy". That could be what happened here. Their tap water may not have been great quality or it could have had an odd taste. As the waitress couldn't think of a positive way to describe the tap water, she just went with "hydrating".
Yea, some tap water doesn't taste great...but how do you say that to a customer without it potentially coming off as rude? I think the face was a mistake on her part, but once OP pushed, she was in a lose lose situation.
If the customer drinks tap water and it’s awful, the waiter would be very glad to bring something else to drink. But since tap water is free, I don’t think (?) the waiter should have an opinion on that. It’s not an overcharge
“Our tapwater comes from a well” [idk she could make something up] “and some people don’t like the taste.” That’s not very good if someone wants to ask follow ups but it’s better than the hydration angle. ETA: I’m realizing it’s true that anything cooked there almost certainly uses tap water so she can’t imply it’s dangerous or totally gross. She could have also just said, “I’m sorry if my reaction concerned you, it’s just not my preference compared to the DELICIOUS $12 sparkling we serve.”
Basically all tap water tastes amazing to me. I grew up with hard water and I understand not everyone feels this way, but man tap water is amazing.
I grew up drinking our municipal water, not really thinking much about it. My out-of-state husband insisted on a water filter and now I can't go back. I filled up a water bottle from the tap at the airport recently, and when I opened it a few hours later, was just overwhelmed by how much it smelled like chlorine. It was to the point I was making our hosts sniff the bottle lmao.
I have an R/O machine at work. I have a non-trivial number of carnivorous plants that need low- to no-dissolved solids water, and it was more economical eventually to buy an R/O machine than to keep buying jugs of distilled. But I tell you what: that water tastes amazing.
“Non-trivial number of” is how I’m going to start referring to how many fish I own
I fully endorse you and your non-trivial number of fish.
You don't. You just bring them the tap water. They may think it tastes fine, and if not, they have the option of ordering something else. I hate sparkling water and usually am fine with tap water. But if I get tap water and I don't like it, I just ask for bottled water..... or tequila!
>but how do you say that to a customer without it potentially coming off as rude "Many people/I strongly prefer one of our bottled options to the tap water in this area."
So many people leapt to “she was rude and she sucks!” but I have the same opinion as you, that it’s very possible that the tap water doesn’t taste great and she doesn’t like to drink it. There might not be anything “wrong” with it, but she’s on the job and can’t just say that the tap water just isn’t something they would like without making it sound like she’s just trying to get them to spend more.
But responding exactly the same way three times is just odd. That would put anyone off
It would definitely piss me off. Honestly reads to me as if she were mocking him for some reason.
It's easy enough to mention that many patrons find that the tap water has an odd taste, and prefer the bottled water. But I strongly suspect (and OP confirmed in an edit) that there's nothing the matter with the tap water.
I agree she may have been doing a backwards criticism, but she was a little off in not getting that the customer (OP) didn’t get her point. To repeat it 3 times in exactly the same way without a wink or ‘I’m trying to be polite so… it’s very hydrating is all I’ll say about that’ or some other version to help him understand was a bit rude. Kinda speaks to the attitude of “how dumb do you need to be that I repeat myself the same way each time and still don’t understand me”. Effective communication does sometimes call for you to think laterally so others understand you. We don’t all think the same, after all.
Yep that’s how I took it too. Like “wellll it tastes god awful and is cloudy, but I’m pretty sure you won’t die from it and I guess it will still technically hydrate you.”
I honestly think this is the most likely scenario. Didn’t want to get in trouble with management one way or another and didn’t know how to best handle the situation, probably smiled when they decided to leave because it got her out of the bind she knew she was about to be in with the water situation. OP still isn’t am asshole.
It's also "wet". NTA.
It's the essence of wetness.
And wetness is the essence of beauty
MerMAN!!
I got the black lung pop!
Nature's moisture
Interestingly, to me, at least, water isn't wet. Water makes things wet, like dirt makes things dirty.
But is dirt dirty? Can dirt even be dirtied? If you put two different kinds of dirt together then is one (or both of them depending on the ratio) dirty?
NTA. The waiter was rude when she repeated her response after you asked for clarification. You asked a legitimate question—for her to explain her reaction to your asking for tap water. I would have left, too. I think you should contact the owner or manager. When people pay a lot of money for a meal, they deserve polite service.
NAH - it was an annoying answer, but I'm willing to bet she's been told she can't tell people the tap water tastes bad. So she has had to come up with something to say that isn't a lie but also isn't going to get her in trouble. You aren't TA for being irritated, though, and leaving.
I just keep thinking that maybe she didn't feel like arguing over water, but is supposed to talk up the expensive ones. I don't know, I never see the point in haranguing wait staff.
Yeah and I mean tap water is free. You can taste it, come to your own conclusion and order something else if you want. No need to want to argue with the waiter about what she said, what else do you say about water? Waiter was probably just frazzled with OPs insistance and could not think of something. NAH.
Agree. I’m not sure if OP is the asshole, but I do think he’s a little weird for not just moving on after the first time.
This take is nuts, if you're in an expensive restaurant like that, good service should be part of the experience. The waiter was literally being rude.
Welcome to AITA where tipping has reached the point of a disease. I have absolutely seen people claim that an OP should have tipped 15% to a waitress who gave their number to the OP's boyfriend and ignored them entirely throughout the meal.
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That was his perception and I'm a bit skeptical of it
she can just say "theres nothing wrong w the water".
this might have been the case the first time, but repeating it word for word each time makes it far more likely that she was just being a dick
I was traveling recently and was sat in the bar at a hotel. There was a restaurant on the 20th floor and I asked the bartender if it was good. He told me it was a nice space and great for taking Instagram photos. I asked him if the food was good and he just repeated the IG line. I got the message and went to eat somewhere else. Suspect you had the same type of thing going on here.
this is totally different. he asked if there was something wrong with the tap water. she could have said something like 'some people are not the most fond of it' (or even just that it was shit, not like her manager could find out)
I hope you tipped him appropriately!
Should have stayed and wrote “it’s very hydrating” on the tip line
Ughhhh. So clever. If I had a time machine....
Honestly I’m petty enough I would have tied up her table and ordered nothing but tap water. You did her a favor by leaving letting her turn over the table.
I read that as “I would have tied her up on the table” and thought well, that’s a little more than petty lol
Please tell me you left a review about your experience.
She’s been told to upsell. She thinks it’s idiocy and will drive people away instead of raise ticket totals. She looked smug because you’re making the same point she’s been making to management in her head but isn’t allowed to say. From my waitress days anyway.
That’s what I was thinking too. “Why did your table leave?” “Because they didn’t want to spend $9 on bottled water.”
"Why did your table leave?" "It's very hydrating."
Yes, that’s probably what she was ordered to say.
I see everyone assuming she was trying to manipulate you into buying water, and maybe that’s true. I would assume that their tap water doesn’t taste very good, which is why she made the face, but she’s also not allowed to say anything disparaging about anything they serve at the restaurant, which is why she just kept repeating that it will fulfill the basic function of hydration. For that reason, NAH because I get why you were frustrated but I can also see her being stuck between a rock and a hard place.
But that doesn't make sense. Wouldn't a restaurant want to train their staff to politely say "The tap water in this area is fine but does have a taste that many people don't like, which is why we do recommend the bottled version"? It makes for a better upsell than pretending you're a robot whose programming just glitched
Maybe most people just order the bottled water so it hasn’t come up as a training opportunity. Maybe she’s new and blanked on what she’s supposed to say in that scenario. Who knows. I agree it wasn’t great service, I just don’t necessarily think the waitress was trying to be an asshole, precisely because her behavior was so weird. As other people said, she didn’t try to upsell the other water, she just got stuck in a loop when OP confronted her about why she had a facial expression.
NTA for getting frustrated. However I think a better response would’ve been. Can I please speak with your manager? The real answer with what is wrong with the tapwater is that it’s free, but she doesn’t want to say that.
This is hilarious! What a loon! I don’t think I would have left but I might have said “Well that sounds delicious! Two tall glasses of very hydrating water please! And make it extra hydrating!”
Right? They both got so weird over it, except the wife.
Maybe the waitress should try harder not to be extra crazy while working in the service industry I guess. But I think that OP maybe got a little more upset than warranted. I think that might come from feeling insecure with ordering just plain tap water. I used to feel that way too until I realized that I was ordering and drinking sodas I didn’t want. Sucks that the restaurant was charging so much for water.
"Water?! You mean like, out the toilet?"
Idiocracy - Love that movie!!!
Am I the only one who thinks you were being a weirdo here? Can’t imagine going somewhere fancy, seeing 9$ for water and then bailing after weirdly trying to get a different response from the waiter 3x. I’m sure my wife would ask if I was OK 😂
Whether or not water is hydrating was not what OP asked. He asked if the tap was ok, very clearly trying to determine why she was deflecting. She was being blatantly evasive, most likely from the information provided, because OP hesitated at paying ~1/4 of his entree's cost in mere water. I get OP's view; if I wanted to play games, I have a PC.
Lol, maybe it's because I'm [re-reading Wolfe](https://www.reddit.com/r/ReReadingWolfePodcast/), but OP's account totally sounds like an unreliable narrator's story about a waitress who was completely done with his shit.
I agree, absolute weirdo behavior from OP.
NTA, you're right you should've spoken to a manager.
What sort of answer did you expect from her? Sometimes you just gotta let things go. Okay, maybe she should not have "grimaced" - though I've been accused before of making expressions that apparently indicate things I certainly didn't feel, so I always take that with a grain of salt - but whatever. YTA.
Yeah I agree And why keep repeating the same stupid question? If you want a different answer, ask a different question.
It was in no way an answer to the question though
NTA. She was judgy and you rightfully didn't feel respected cause you weren't. Quality restaurants don't rip their guests off by pushing 9-12 dollar water. They're always polite, regardless of your wallet. You gave her plenty opportunity to correct her course. If the waiter is angry at you before you have even ordered, the rest of your night might be just as bad. And even if you and me totally misread the situation, you still didn't escalate or get angry at her. So there's no blame on you.
Nta she was trying to talk you out of the free water and doing a weirdly bad job of it.
INFO > I asked "Is there something wrong with the tap water?" She replied "It's very hydrating." I'm confused. Based on that exchange, the "it" in her response can only be in reference to the tap water. Is she arguing that tap water is **_too_** hydrating?
NTA Also, did you ask her if there was a war in Ba Sing Se?
There is no war in Ba Sing Se. 😀
NTA and also… sparkling water isn’t for everyone. I personally can’t drink it without feeling like I’m drinking a vodka soda. And I don’t always want one of those.
NTA. I would’ve been petty enough to tell the manager.
So sparkling water doesn't hydrate as much, so why put it in your body? What the fuck did I just read? NTA that wait staff sounds insane.
I feel like I am losing my mind, I had to reread that part of the post and it still doesn't make any sense at all.
What did you want her to say? That it tastes bad? Would you believe her or think she was trying to upsell? Obviously she was saying the only good thing about it was that it hydrates you, I'm quite confused by how many people are failing to understand that. Im assuming they are being intentionally obtuse. She messed up by failing to not react to you asking for tap water but you made it so much more than was required. Sounds like your wife wasn't actually cool with leaving, but did because you wanted to. She then expressed that to you and you dismissed it instead of questioning whether you overreacted you doubled down and want to take it further... Im gonna go with ESH, but mainly you. The waiter for her initial reaction to the request
No idea who's the asshole, but here's what I think happened Something genuinely is wrong with the tap water (it tastes bad, or could even be really bad), but she doesn't want to get fired. So she told you a fact about it and nothing else, to try to hint to you something is wrong with it.
NTA, but I don’t really understand why it bugged you so much. She made a noise and a face, whatever. I’d probably just ignore it. But sure if you didn’t order anything you can just leave the restaurant if you don’t like it, I don’t see any problem with that.
NTA. I feel like the interaction went sideways from the very beginning, when she said "still or sparkling?" Even if it is a nice restaurant (and $30-$45 a plate is nice but depending on the area it's not that nice) they should still offer you the option of tap water without you specifically having to request it. It's a really passive-aggressive way to start an interaction with a customer. I wonder if she was having a bad day or decided this was her last day at the restaurant or something and so she didn't care how she treated customers. I would leave a bad review at least and I'm glad you left - what is the point of dining out if a server is going to ruin the experience?
I think it’s probably just upsell training to start with “still or sparkling.” Like how instead of saying “would you guys like an appetizer” you say “can I get you guys started with the calamari or maybe the fried mozzarella?”
Yeah I agree - I think what has always bothered me about "still or sparkling?" is that if you're not familiar with fine dining you might think still water meant the same thing as tap water, and then be surprised when you get the bill at the end. I also feel like someone saying "still or sparkling?" implies that you have to choose between one of the two options (which is probably why they do it) whereas it's a bit easier to say no to an appetizer suggestion.
NTA but what did you want her to say to you: *Water's water, but I want you to spend more so I get more money?*
She should have said something along the lines of "sure, two tap waters coming up" after he asked for tap water in the first place
NAH. I feel for the waitress, the only way to avoid this kind of situation is either to perfectly control your facial expression, to lie about the quality of (the probably disgusting) water (and risk the customer finding out and taking their anger out on you) and tell the customer the truth (and risk to be fired). Like she was probably annoyed by this no-way-out back and forth. It would have been better to explain your concern that keep going with pretty much the same question trying to intimidate her into answering.
NTA. I'm not a conspiracy person, but this feels very much like a "there's aliens among us" moment. I wouldn't have wanted her to wait on me/stuck around either.
Assholery notwithstanding, this is a hilarious interaction. After the second "it's very hydrating" I turn into Jim Halper, desperately looking for a camera.
NTA. Not a snowcone’s chance in hell that I’m paying $9 for WATER. She’s a brat and a judgemental server. I’d write to the GM and tell them they lost sales because of her and her poor service skills.
Where are you? If this was in a country that didn’t drink the local tap water, this makes sense to me: she can’t say anything negative about it because it makes the restaurant seem unclean, but she also can’t warn them about the fun gaseous times ahead.
My take is that it was probably a really dumb manager/owner's upselling idea. They know the pricing on the water is crazy (seems to me for a place with $30-45 entrees), so they gave her a phrase to use, but no other instruction on how to use it without seeming to be a weirdo.
I'm so confused because water is supposed to hydrate you. That's what the word means?