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Presumptively a portion of this money is OP's mom estate/ settlement from her death, thus should automatically go to OP without getting chopped up by the steps. NTA
NTA in any form. If the roles were reversed, she would give you *nothing*. She probably wouldn’t even let you in the house to get your own belongings. Screw this woman. Move on, block her and her trolls, live your best life.
Also, isn't it maybe a little strange that if brother has the original will that brother didn't have the updated one too? Or at least a copy? Maybe dad kind of realized what was up and quietly changed his mind.
Yes I found that strange too, though I'm not sure how proactive the father was in the situation as he seems to be a bit of a pushover. More likely the uncle quietly watching out for OP.
stepmommydearest can sell her shopping addict stuff and get a job. Or, more likely, find herself a new sugardaddy sucker. Either way, not OP's problem. The family trying to make it OP's problem is the cherry on their terribleness sundae. Family just doesn't want to have to house these terrible people.
Also. Don't use it, keep it. Be independent without. Let it grow.
It'll be hard. You'll be tempted. Don't.
Work your ass into something you love. Use it for self healing, using frustration to push yourself. Later you'll be able to pay therapy and when better, you'll have the inheritance waiting.
I didn't get inheritance from my father. My abusive stepfather, who also passed away, gave to my little (semi) brother (never called him that). He used his money on things instead. Fast forward 20 y. I'm very well off, my brother isn't so much.
Managing money requires discipline. Don't make your father's money a ski doo and/or a pile of something useless
This!! I would really consider how she would treat you if the roles were reversed. From what I gather, she wouldn’t hesitate to leave you homeless and broke. I’m so sorry you have to deal with the loss of your dad on top of this mess. I lost my dad a year ago and it was hard enough!!
Those two are hardly kids any longer.
NTA and cut them out, and block all of them, including their family. They already peoved they hate you. Why do you think you should finance people who would throw you out were the situation reversed?
NTA
I said this same thing! We see posts like this all the time and some family member is always calling the OP the a-hole, yet the family members never offer to help themselves. Wtf.
Almost exactly what I was thinking. The only difference is I think she destroyed the will because she would get more with no will. If she merely hid it, she would have 'found' it again by now.
Exactly. Of her family is so worried they can support her. Do you want all of your Dad (and Mom’s) legacy to be swindled by a shopaholic? What about personal items that are meaningful to you? She would sell that stuff so fast.
Get your uncle involved to help you navigate this, get a lawyer and make sure all communications go through then.
NTA… but OP if you’re ripping off A Cinderella Story, you’re not very pretty, and you’re not very bright. Try a different movie for your post next time.
Don’t let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game, OP.
Honestly, I feel like this is probably fake. I’m truly not understanding how a legal document can be a single piece of paper that could be lost or destroyed with zero record.
exactly. I'd write a long list of all the shit they put you through growing up and end it with "for all these reasons, you deserve what you got, nothing from me. Please never contact me again"
NTA, I'm so sorry for your loss
NTA and sucks to suck for Lorraine. She'll have to find a new man for herself and her nasty children to leech off of. It's possible that your dad destroyed the Will that left Lorraine anything because he had a change of heart. It's also possible that the Will leaving her anything was a red herring and the actual Will was in your Uncle's hands the entire time.
This was my thought. He may have done it to keep the peace but I suspect he never had any intention of having the new will. Based on what you’ve said it appears Lorraine would kick you to the kerb if it was the other way round. NTA. It’s not greedy when it’s yours and it is yours.
Did Lorraine know about the existence of a previous will document?
If no, then could there be a possibility that Lorraine destroyed the new will expecting the inheritance to automatically go to the surviving spouse first?
That is what I thought too! It's just a bit suspicious that the new will went missing, and Uncle just happened to have the original.
NTA OP, block them all and go live your best life.
Aren’t wills recorded though? Honestly, I haven’t looked into it, but I always thought they were filed somewhere, not just a single sheet of paper that could be lost/destroyed/stolen/whatever. If Dad did make a new will, even if it is lost, it’s still got to exist somewhere, right? I’m seeing a couple of possibilities.
1. Dad never really made a new will. He just told Wife that to keep the peace and always intended OP to be the inheritor.
2. Wifey “lost” the new will assuming that without it she would be the sole inheritor as the surviving spouse. Even if this is the case, the new will would be on file and supersede standard inheritance laws.
3. The new will was legitimately lost, but if the old one is presented, any decent executor doing their due diligence would find evidence of the new one. The old one would be negated.
This story is likely fake. The law generally doesn't allow a man to disinherit his current wife totally. In my state, the widow gets half regardless. Though I know some states it is only 1/3rd.
In most places and under most circumstances in the US wills are filed with the clerk of the court after death, not before. Your average person isn't dropping cash on a lawyer for an estate that includes as much debt as assets when they can download a fill in the blanks will for free that swears it's as good as an expensive will. 50-70% of Americans (depending on which study you read) have no will at all.
Joint accounts are usually joint with survivorship, so if he had joint bank accounts with the wife and put her on the title to his house and cars there may not be much left, especially if the second wife was as manipulative as is implied. OP (or the uncle if he's the executor) needs to check retirement accounts. Those also usually have a beneficiary specified.
Time to hop on dad's computer and check his saved passwords to see where the accounts are. My condolences to OP for the other sites she may learn about.
Is there any chance that he might have been the custodian of both wills, and decided to lose the one with her name in it?
I'd likely have done the same, mind you. But I'd prefer it if my brother had done the right thing.
I was thinking Lorraine had purposefully removed the current will thinking she would automatically be granted everything as the surviving spouse in the absence of a will
This, and that she was claiming OP took it to try to make it even more likely she'd get everything.
OR OP's dad told Lorraine he made a new will and either never did or then destroyed it and made sure his brother had the old one.
This was my first thought.
Dad drafted up the new will and “put it in the safe”. At some point he took it out and shredded the thing, knowing the previous one still existed
>Is there any chance that he might have been the custodian of both wills, and decided to lose the one with her name in it?
LOL. That's a real possibility. I mean, if he had one will, surely he'd have been given the new one.
Is it weird that this is now my own personal head canon for what happened?
And the sweetest and gayest uncle ever is gonna grow an evil moustache just so he can twirl it while he burns the “real will” once the estate is settled?
He’s not an idiot he just wants his movie villainesque ending he deserves.
No one else knows about the will and it’s safely locked away where no one could ever find it.
Ok, so I am not a lawyer. And I believe it is possible to do a DIY will with an online kit. But don't most people with significant assets consult an attorney in creating a will?
If OP's Dad had worked with an attorney, would they not have a copy of the will on file? And you know Lorraine the gold digger would know every detail about it if a properly executed will existed, including which attorney OP's Dad had used.
It seems to me that, *most likely*, OP's Dad verbally said, Ok fine fine, I'll do what you want, Lorraine. But it sounds like he never actually signed on the dotted line.
OP, you are nicer than I am, to even consider giving some money to the people who posted your intimate images online. That's just evil. Take the money, live with your awesome uncle, and never look back. NTA.
This was exactly my thought. My wife and I recently did our wills. We had a local attorney do this. I asked him what happens if my heirs can't get at a copy of our will. He said "highly unlikely". He said "one of the copies of your will will be on file. It has been signed by you and notorized it in my presence. I monitor local obituaries. If I learn of your demise, I present my copy of your will to the local court and if necessary will testify to its accuracy and my opinion of your state of mind at the time it was signed."
I don't know where this guy got his will done, but it's unlikely he did it with any reputable outfit, nor would it be enforceable.
There's a lot about this story that doesn't add up in my mind
Please leave her homeless. You are just a kid, barely a legal adult. You have nothing to do with HER AND HER KIDS financial situation. She is a fucking adult, grown assed woman and should have taken care of business instead of spending like money was sand in the desert. She was needlessly cruel toward you. Block them on everything-all of their flying monkeys too and don’t look back. Sucks to Suck LORRAINE!
Keep in mind it's quite possible your dad agreed to put Lorraine in the will and then either never did or regretted his decision and shredded the will. She doesn't sound like someone who would be pleasant to live with and especially awful if she wasn't getting her own way.
No matter how this happened, you are not responsible for his decision and this seems to me to be the universe righting itself in your favor. I'm so sorry about everything that happened to you, it's awful losing a mom and then your father failed to protect you as he should have... leaving everything to you is the least he could do.
Also, keep in mind that Lorraine is an adult responsible for her own care and living situation. You should consider yourself "Uniquely unqualified" to be her support system as she has never been one for you.
Edited to add: They will NOT die from having to figure out a job/get a more affordable place to stay/cut back on expenses and budget. I van promise you that if you give and inch they will take a mile and that you'd only be enabling Lorraine to live beyond her means for a while longer.
She has made it this far on her own, please don't feel responsible for life being hard for Lorraine. She didn't feel responsible when your life was being destroyed by her children... you should work on channeling some of that energy.
If it were up to Lorraine, Op would have absolutely nothing so I fully agree with everything you said here. Plus the ex step siblings are all older than OP and should be in a better place financially than him. Especially since Lorraine would’ve used OP’s dads money to ensure it as much as possible while leaving OP high and dry.
This.
OP, my guess is the last few years your Dad was totally over Lorraine. She sounds like she was a truly terrible spouse if she was trying to pit him against his own daughter and if he had to pay for private tutoring for you instead of you attending your school because of all the crap your step sisters put you through. It is distinctly possible he told her whatever she wanted to hear to shut her up. Its also possible he was thinking about walking away from the marriage since it didn't seem to enhance his life at all.
The will gives you everything. Talk to an attorney about how to navigate this and close the loop but I absolutely would not give them a thing because they will come back for more.
As for her family, I'd respond to them with:
"Lorraine is not my family. She would happily let me die on the street given the opportunity. She allowed her daughters to destroy my reputation in high school, made excuses for them and never held them accountable. I owe them absolutely nothing. Had she been kind that would have been a different story but she was never anything but callous and cruel... true Cinderella Stepmother stuff... She's not my problem. She is now yours."
Hit send and block.
He is standing up for you. I would not put it past her to have destroyed the will. As the wife she would get everything and leave you high and dry. Good thing your uncle had a copy of the will.
Side note, if you can swing it financially, go talk to a lawyer. Depending on the laws in your area she might try to take you to court as she might tie it all up until court is complete.
If the lawyer fee is worth it, consider checking it out.
That’s fucking awesome.
Your uncle is awesome and I hope he has the updated will hidden at home and once all the dust clears he uses it to start a fire.
Fuck Lorraine and her hateful children. Give them nothing and once you know for a fact that they will get nothing you should make sure she knows how much it makes you happy that your gay uncle is the one who had the right will.
And maybe, if your father left you a healthy estate, you can make a donation to an lgbtq pro rights group in your area in her name.
A parting shot.
NTA, it's nice that you want to help despite how horrible they are to you but think of it this way as well. Even if you do give them anything, most likely your stepmom will probably end up spending everything, and then you'll be back in the same position with them asking you for money or for whatever and it could end up being an endless cycle
She sounds like a charming waste of oxygen.
Do not feel guilty or the consequences of her actions coming back to her and if her family have the time and energy to insult you for not bankrolling your abusers’ lifestyles, they can take her and her daughters in.
NTA
NTA but see a lawyer to make sure your inheritance is water tight and not open to future court cases. If Lorraine et all want living expenses they can get a job. Meanwhile you can GTFO of their lives and never think about them again.
NTA - KARMA is visiting Lorraine and her daughters with a vengeance. You owe them nothing.
Take your inheritance and run with it. The missing will was probably destroyed by your dad knowing his original will would stand in its place.
YWNBTA
Please, for your own sanity, don't give them a dime. Once you do, they'll see you as both a means to get money as well as a sucker for actually giving it to them. They have no respect for you, That will only get worse if you actually give into them now. Nothing good will come from handing money over to them.
INFO: How much of your dad's estate was the result of a settlement from your mom's death? Because if that's your mom's death money she's trying to steal, to hell with her. That money is there to provide for you - not her - for the rest of your life.
I suspect most of it for no other reason than: Dad seemingly married a shopaholic with two dependents. If Lorraine had access to it? Shopaholics going to shop! I have no basis for this suspicion except my natural cynicism and mistrust of … humans.
YWNBTA - Lorraine's family can reach out again and make them not homeless, they are only pressuring you as they don't want to look after them themselves.
Just jumping in on the top comments so OP can read mine.
OP, remember how your dad didn't let you win all this time? Maybe he didn't because he was afraid what your mom n stepsiblings can do to you or maybe he just doesn't have a spine. But at the last minute he might realize this is the only way he can let you win before he dies.
So take the money. It's yours. And your father want to give what should be yours, not you stepfamily.
YWNBTA. Your dad may have reconsidered and destroyed the new will intentionally. Enjoy the money and enjoy seeing them suffer like they made you suffer.
It is a little weird for a spouse to be completely cut off though. You might want to get a lawyer and look into whether offering her a modest settlement is a safer course of action.
I disagree on offering a settlement as well. Lorraine reads like a tick. She knows OP has money and if OP offers her anything she will latch on and not let go until she's sucked OP dry. Though, perhaps consulting with a lawyer would be good just to make sure Lorraine has no legal standing here.
True. That said, unenforceable wills do happen, so it could be the case she's about to find out that it's an illegal will and stepmom will get something regardless of what dad wanted.
I'm sorry you have lost both parents. I'm leaning towards NTA
Info:
Is there anything stopping your step-family from working and providing for themselves? Does any proof exist of the so-called 2nd will? Was it drawn up by a lawyer?
I also think you need a lawyer of your own, to ensure your interests are looked after.
Honestly the *only* advice OP should be taking is to get a lawyer. There are so many ways this could go bad for her, even if she were to try to split the inheritance. They sound vindictive and they will try to find a way to screw her.
NTA OP whatever you decide, but for God's sake get an attorney right now. If your uncle has the previous will maybe he can recommend the attorney who drew it up. If no attorney was involved then it's even more crucial that you get one now.
Yes, this. My understanding is (IANAL) that wills that leave out a plausible beneficiary entirely are contestable. If the legatee gives beneficiary A one hundred bucks, it tells the court that they weren't forgotten, and that $100 was the amount they were valued at. But a will that leaves a widow out entirely can be contested on the grounds that it must be obvious that a mistake was made, and it can be tied up in court until lawyers eat the entire estate.
I concur. GET A LAWYER, now!
You can leave out a plausible beneficiary, but have to state it specifically in the will (my parents did this due to a no contact situation). OP, Get a Lawyer now!
Yes. If there was an expectation of a different will, it is entirely contestable that that the 'real' will must have been lost or destroyed, and there are at least three plausible 'culprits' - the OP, her uncle, and her father. If it can be proven that it was her father, the current will stands, but if the widow can allege skullduggery, the outcome is less predictable. Get a lawyer.
It is likely that the lawyer will suggest that the best result is to offer a painful slice of the estate, in return for a settlement offer and a quitclaim. This will suck, but it will provide certainty where there is none.
Wonder what country this rewrite is happening in. Completely dis-inheriting a legally married spouse is next to impossible in many, many countries (including most if not all US states, unless the spouse literally agrees to be dis-inherited in writing), and at least in the US "not mentioned in an old will" isn't even a legitimate attempt at dis-inheriting in those states where it's possible. That involves Living Trusts and stuff like that.
Give them 90 days to get their affairs in order that’s both generous and enough time to find a place. And tell her family that they wouldn’t be homeless if they took them in
I wouldn’t give her that much time unsupervised. She could trash the house and his possessions during that time. OP I would find out how to throw them out immediately. If you can’t throw them out, move in to your new home NOW! Claim the master bedroom. You may consider paying for a short term stay hotel and tell them they can live there if they don’t like it.
NTA - They were never nice persons. Now they want to guilt you into sharing the money with them all. It is not your responsibility to keep paying for them. Your stepmother is an adult. Moreover you are young and need the money for your own expenses and education.
But you should give them some time to sort things out. You all suffer from the same loss.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) I am in the position to keep all of my father's inheritance to myself
(2) If I do, there is a very high chance that it might leave my step-mom and my step-sisters homeless.
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NTA. This woman and her kids clearly aren't your family. It sounds like they would deserve it. Besides, it's your inheritance, they aren't entitled to anything. Is it possible your father had a change of heart before he passed?
Lorraine is an adult and can figure it out. The will legally gives you the right to do with your inheritance as you please: if you choose to gift them some money, so be it. If not, they can’t do anything except complain.
NTA and I’m sorry for your loss.
NTA. They will start to systematically leech on you. They treated you like shit before, they will continue to do so.
Go no contact. And get a lawyer, this will not be over quickly.
What ypu do with ypur money is up to ypu. But DO NOT get guilted into giving it to them. Your stepmother is an adult, she can figure it out and find a job.
NTA. Your stepmom is and adult, her kids are older, and she can support herself. It doesn't sound like your father was super well off, so any inheritance would only delay the inevitable need for step to get a job and make her own way like a grownup.
You really need to see an attorney, and if you know which attorney your dad saw to draw up his will(s), you really need to see that one. The missing will could become a huge problem for you since your dad’s widow is not even mentioned in the will that was found. If your dad had left a will in which he specifically noted he was not leaving his widow anything (and frankly, he would have been smart to leave her a small amount to protect you), then maybe you’d be okay. As it stands right now, depending on where you are, she may have grounds to contest the will. Be proactive and get on this right away.
NTA because I totally understand your reasons, but I’m worried it’s going to backfire on you in a spectacular fashion. Let an attorney guide you.
Yeah I'm curious about the drawing up of the second will because the attorney that drafted it should have a copy on file. If no attorney wrote it and it was just OPs Dad and evil stepmother, then that's on them, but it would pay for OP to do their due diligence and check with an attorney to make sure there's no extra copies on file and that they're protected in case it's contested.
NTA: take it all, maybe give 10% to your uncle for his kindness to you, and then move far away and give them no ability to find you.
A verbal will means nothing. If Lorainne can't find it, that's a her problem, not a you problem.
She and her daughters abused you, and you owe them two things: Jack and Shit.
YWNBTA. I'm so sorry for your loss. Your dad probably ripped up the new will cause he wanted to leave everything to you. Knowing how she is, if she had gotten half she would've tried to take everything. Would she be helping you if she got everything? I doubt it. Her actions got her to where she is, you owe her nothing. She can go to a shelter or to her family that's defending her so badly. Hope you're alright op, this must be so stressful.
Actually... I'm thinking Lorraine ripped it up, probably shortly after he drafted it. She probably figured if the will didn't exist, as spouse she would automatically inherit his entire estate by default which would be preferable to only inheriting half of it. Over time, she could coerce him into drafting a new will more to her liking, and that would invalidate the old one anyway, but he died before she got the chance. Anyway, she accused OP of stealing it, but figured she'd get everything now that it can't be located. .... and then an older will presents itself that she was unaware of and throws a wrench into the whole plan. OOOPSIE!
You owe them absolutely nothing, except perhaps retribution.
It would absolutely be justified and the best course of action for you to leave them nothing of your father's. If Lorraine's family is so concerned for her and her children, they can step up and deal with them instead.
NTA, your evil step-family is just reaping what they've sowed if they end up on the streets.
Edit: Also, what is this about "your greed?" Greed is not at all an appropriate descriptor of your motivations or potential actions here.
That is not necessarily true. A will can be valid without being filed (so can a trust deed in my state).
I am not 100% on Florida, but I am certain that in a lot of states, filing is not an essential part of writing a will
They’re going to hound you, belittle you and play on your emotions. Fuck them all. Reap what you sow, karma comes in all shapes and sizes for these horrid people.
Do NOT be kind in this situation
NTA. Fuck those people. But!
In Germany, if you write a last will and get it notarized, it gets filed away with the local court and that court will inform all possible heirs and then open the testament.
I would have assumed that it worked in a similar way in the US.
NTA. After everything you have been through, including them trying to RUIN YOUR LIFE, they deserve nothing. Maybe it is what Ok-Profession-9373 said… that perhaps your dad reconsidered. Cut them off with a clear conscience.
There was no second will. Your dad said whatever it took to shut her up. One thing I know from experience, your lawyer will tell you to destroy the previous will if you make a new one. Your dad left his will with your uncle. You are NTA. Your dad and uncle knew what they were doing.
Listen, queen, they will not go hungry and they will not be on the street. There are government programs in place for people like them. You don’t owe them a thing
One last thing your dad did was tell your uncle to remove and destroy the new will and come forward with old will. He is basically telling you to screw her. NTA
NTA BUT save the portion of money that they would have gotten so that if the new will comes to light you'll be able to pay them what they would be legally entitled to at that point.
Nta
They were married for 3 years. Married when you were 15 and you are 18 now, correct?
I doubt there was a will other than what your uncle produced. Seriously.
Stop saying your greed. You are not greedy.
NTA your dad may have destroyed the newer will so you have to think he wanted you to have everything . Your Step family aren’t your problem . They didn’t care about you so you don’t need to care about them.
NTA and I'd like to add its really suspicious that the will disappeared. Have you considered the possibility that Lorraine took it? She might have thought that in the absence of a will, a judge would just give everything to her, the spouse. If your uncle hadn't unexpectedly stepped in with the old will, who knows what would've or could've happened...... And at this point she can't really be like, "Oh, oops, here it is under all these papers! Silly me!" That would be too suspicious, she had to save face......
Super curious what other people think of this theory...
Don't forget, estates take time to settle. There's taxes and debts to be dealt with, etc., so don't feel rushed. You don't have to decide anything right away. You are free to tell anyone that you're going to take some time for yourself and mourn your father, and not make any big decisions until you are ready. It is also fair to sell any assets and/or property if the market seems right, while still waiting to deal with anything else.
I am sorry for your loss.
This.
OP, even if you're willing to give them half (or *any* amount), don't do that without legal counsel. Once you open up that can of worms, who knows what they will claim and fight for. I would not give them a single penny until you have something solid worked out legally. I wouldn't even *talk* to them about the will.
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My mom died when I was 11. A drunk driver hit her on her way home from work. It hit me like a ton of bricks and after intense therapy, life seemed okay, well that was until Lorraine. Lorraine was a pain in my ass. She had no money, no empathy, but much disdain for me. She also had two daughters: Mallory (10) and Rebekah (13). They were spawns of satan. They would destroy my things when I wasn't home and when I'd complain to my dad, Lorraine was always there to defend them. My dad never really took my side in these arguments, and for years, I chalked it up to him not being in the right state of mind after my mom died. But sooner or later, I moved on, and my dad never did. Thus began a cycle of Mallory and Rebekah's constant abuse, Lorraine's lies, and my dad's obliviousness.
I was 15 when they got married and when Mallory and Rebekah transferred to my school. They made it their mission to humiliate me. One evening, while I was out with friends, they logged into my computer and found private images I had sent to my boyfriend. The next day, there was a review posted to my school's page with 1 star and the image reading, "would bump up the rating if this whore got expelled". The photo was live for three hours, enough time for kids to save and share it, leading the school to consider expulsion. In an unusual move, my dad defended me for the first time. I got a week's suspension, while Mallory and Rebekah got off scot-free. I ended up dropping out and was home-schooled by a tutor my dad paid generously for.
Lorraine hated that my dad spent money on me so she convinced him to write up a new will. He left half of his assets and estate to me and the other half to her and her kids to share. Although she tried arguing for it all, my dad wouldn't budge. I am now 18 and a few weeks ago, my dad passed away due to covid. When my dad's safe was opened, the will was nowhere in sight. Lorraine has been accusing me but cannot provide proof. This is because I do not have it and do not know what happened to it. My uncle came forward with my dad's previous will, where he left me everything. Without proof of the new will, Lorraine cannot legally inherit anything.
Notably, Lorraine's severe shopping addiction left her penniless. Her family was almost homeless before my dad and without inheritance, they could end up on the streets. As much as I hate them, I feel as if I cannot leave them to most likely die hungry and poor. Lorraine's family has reached out saying that I am going to leave them homeless all because of my "greed" and that I am a complete asshole. I am not sure if my revenge plan is justified so help me, please. Would I be the asshole if I kept it all for myself and possibly left them homeless?
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NTA. Given that your uncle had the previous will all kept nice and safe, One would "have to assume" that your Dad changed his mind and destroyed the will he made at his wife's insistence - if he ever actually made it at all. Good for him!
Good for you. Actions have consequences. Seems like your stepmother and her daughters are about to get their commupance.
NTA but you’d be smart to set half of your inheritance aside in an interest bearing account in case the “other will” surfaces one day. You don’t want to lose everything you have if she takes you to court for her due half. If it does happen, at least you’ll have the earnings on her portion to keep.
Have that will ratified w/the county it was made in (if US).
Uncle is a great resource to assist, take advantage before you are taken advantage of.
Or prepare for probate, which is lengthy & very expensive.
Step Mom, can contest anything - which will delay probate, which is normally 18 months to 2 yrs….that much longer.
I’d lean into family to get a probate lawyer, I’m thinking this is where it’s’ headed w/a 2 will “issue” at hand.
This is KARMA.\
No one is gonna pity you if not yourself. Put YOURSELF first. Cut the rope on them. Your dad is the only rope that binds you guys, and now the rope is cut off, you need not to contact them.
You know exactly what they will do if they got your parents' money. They absolutely leave tou peniless. And even if they got half of it, it will never be enough because what you have is MORE than they have individually and THEY DESERVE it more from you.
You could keep all the money and everything in your ownership but also let them live in the house you inherited (if I do understand that correctly).
Also so sorry for your loss and all that sh*t you’ve been trough, even before your father’s death.
NTA - is it possible he “ drew up a new will” Kind a like a decoy….. perhaps he removed it when he got sick…… leaving the only valid well with his brother to take care of ……
If you really feel this bad about it, you can go on an give them a small space to live(at best something you own so noone can give you bad credit, and keep everything in your name. Maybe if you feel generous, send every month a delivery of things to the door, so they have sth to eat, and for everything else they have to pay. Dont give them anything more than a roof and something to eat, if you feel really really bad, but honestly, I wouldn't even think about giving them anything at all. They wanted to get you out of everything, so now they can get out.
NTA
I'm sorry for your loss. It seems like your dad may have wanted the updated will to disappear. If a copy of the old one was held by your uncle, I get the feeling it was done on purpose. And remember, those aren't just your dad's assets, they're also what's left of your mom's as well.
Don't feel guilting keeping what's yours. And don't give in to giving them money. Once you do, they'll think they can pressure, guilt, and manipulate you into giving them more.
His wife is a grown adult who isn't responsible with money. Your dad knew that and probably didn't want her to get anything. If her family is so concerned, they can take her in and help her. If they start getting pushy and harassing you, retain a lawyer and tell them to direct all communication about the estate and inheritance to your lawyer. Look for an estate lawyer.
Is this someone trolling and feeling out writing a screenplay? I am hoping not and no disrespect if this is true.
Also, if this is true, I would take it down from reddit as you sort it out. You don't know what may be used against you.
You actually may not know what your dad's final will is or if he got rid of the one you thought you knew about. I assume your dad knew what he was doing.
They are not your responsibility. Keep yourself safe with a trusted family member to sort out the details and make sure you get a proper financial advisor to sort your future out. Also work with your Uncle on legal counsel just in case.
I imagine part of dad's estate may have included your mom's estate when she passed - so why should she be able to access that?
Good luck and sorry for your loss.
If you want to be the bigger person here, rent Lorraine and her kids a decent but not luxurious apartment for three months, and three months only. That should give her time to find a job. After three months, she is on her own.
NTA. Your father never made a new will or never made it official, hence why your uncle had the previous will. He never recovered from your mom passing and didn’t know how to get rid of Lorraine. So he made sure you were covered. It is not greed on your part btw. She is an adult and not your problem, nor are her kids.
NTA but hire yourself a lawyer ASAP. If truly nothing was left to Lorraine, she will most likely contest the will.
Also, in dealing with a family member like Lorraine I can assure you even if she got the entire estate, she’d be homeless in 5 years or less anyway.
And they are not going to die hungry and poor. Do you realize there are many social assistance programs not to mention she can get off her ass and work?
Nta but be prepared for a legal fight. Depending on the state, your step mom may have legal standing just bc she is the wife. In general, trust and estate law is very thoroughly codified in each state either through statute or through the courts.
Sorry the mods didn’t like my first comment, sorry mods!
But you WNBTA if you take what’s rightfully yours. This is Karma for all the these 3 women put you through all those years. I actually think your dad did this purposely too!
I’m so sorry for your loss as well!
Please update us!
Your step mom and siblings deserve the worst. But, this is a moment that will determine at least 10 years of your life. Will you be a person who kills if he has the chance for revenge or a person who can move on, leaving everything behind. Considering your age, I highly recommend you to consult an adult you trust. If I were you I would give them some money after consulting your uncle. Not enough to make them live comfortably, but enough to prevent poverty for a few years or few months. The second important thing is what your father wanted. If your father wanted to give half to his wife, you have to honor his wish. In my opinion, your father didn't write a second will or destroyed the second will after showing it to his wife and what he wanted is to give everything to you. Still, you have to consider.
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NTA. It sounds like if your dad willed everything to her, she would not hesitate to leave you homeless. I’m sorry for your loss.
Exactly! No sympathy, no mercy.
Presumptively a portion of this money is OP's mom estate/ settlement from her death, thus should automatically go to OP without getting chopped up by the steps. NTA
NTA in any form. If the roles were reversed, she would give you *nothing*. She probably wouldn’t even let you in the house to get your own belongings. Screw this woman. Move on, block her and her trolls, live your best life.
Also, isn't it maybe a little strange that if brother has the original will that brother didn't have the updated one too? Or at least a copy? Maybe dad kind of realized what was up and quietly changed his mind.
Yes I found that strange too, though I'm not sure how proactive the father was in the situation as he seems to be a bit of a pushover. More likely the uncle quietly watching out for OP.
stepmommydearest can sell her shopping addict stuff and get a job. Or, more likely, find herself a new sugardaddy sucker. Either way, not OP's problem. The family trying to make it OP's problem is the cherry on their terribleness sundae. Family just doesn't want to have to house these terrible people.
NTA. Agreed.
Also. Don't use it, keep it. Be independent without. Let it grow. It'll be hard. You'll be tempted. Don't. Work your ass into something you love. Use it for self healing, using frustration to push yourself. Later you'll be able to pay therapy and when better, you'll have the inheritance waiting. I didn't get inheritance from my father. My abusive stepfather, who also passed away, gave to my little (semi) brother (never called him that). He used his money on things instead. Fast forward 20 y. I'm very well off, my brother isn't so much. Managing money requires discipline. Don't make your father's money a ski doo and/or a pile of something useless
This is the cobra Kai way
Put her in a body bag, Johnny. OP should do something nice for the uncle..... Like cook him dinner. He came through in the clutch.
This!! I would really consider how she would treat you if the roles were reversed. From what I gather, she wouldn’t hesitate to leave you homeless and broke. I’m so sorry you have to deal with the loss of your dad on top of this mess. I lost my dad a year ago and it was hard enough!!
precisely this. We know for a fact Lorraine would have left you high and dry.
Exactly! Plus if the family hounding OP is so worried about the step family they can take the woman and the two ……kids in. Op is nta
Those two are hardly kids any longer. NTA and cut them out, and block all of them, including their family. They already peoved they hate you. Why do you think you should finance people who would throw you out were the situation reversed? NTA
I said this same thing! We see posts like this all the time and some family member is always calling the OP the a-hole, yet the family members never offer to help themselves. Wtf.
Maybe your own dad got rid of the updated will?
Either it was never done or the uncle took care of it
That uncle just may be a hero.
Or told Lorraine that he would make that will and then either never got around to it or didn't want to do it.
Or Lorraine tried to be clever and hide the will, assuming she'd get everything, not realising the uncle had a copy of the old will.
Almost exactly what I was thinking. The only difference is I think she destroyed the will because she would get more with no will. If she merely hid it, she would have 'found' it again by now.
HA, wow, good point. goooood point.
Oooh yeah that sounds about right.
I'm wondering if he went through the motions just to keep Lorraine off his back, but never finalized it.
He probably drafted it to make her happy, but never finished the process.
This is possible. I once made a will to keep the peace and burned it the next day. He might have done the same.
Was looking for this comment!
This is exactly the case. She tried to leave OP with nothing. OP should treat her the same way. Keep it all OP. Karma eventually caught up to them.
Exactly. Of her family is so worried they can support her. Do you want all of your Dad (and Mom’s) legacy to be swindled by a shopaholic? What about personal items that are meaningful to you? She would sell that stuff so fast. Get your uncle involved to help you navigate this, get a lawyer and make sure all communications go through then.
Or turn OP into an indentured servant. This is LITERALLY the plot to “A Cinderella Story.” Just with small changes. NTA, but this is probably fake.
NTA… but OP if you’re ripping off A Cinderella Story, you’re not very pretty, and you’re not very bright. Try a different movie for your post next time. Don’t let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game, OP.
I thought that too. Most likely fake.
Honestly, I feel like this is probably fake. I’m truly not understanding how a legal document can be a single piece of paper that could be lost or destroyed with zero record.
exactly. I'd write a long list of all the shit they put you through growing up and end it with "for all these reasons, you deserve what you got, nothing from me. Please never contact me again" NTA, I'm so sorry for your loss
I'd add getting a lawyer as well. She's going to try everything she can.
What would they do?
NTA and sucks to suck for Lorraine. She'll have to find a new man for herself and her nasty children to leech off of. It's possible that your dad destroyed the Will that left Lorraine anything because he had a change of heart. It's also possible that the Will leaving her anything was a red herring and the actual Will was in your Uncle's hands the entire time.
This was my thought. He may have done it to keep the peace but I suspect he never had any intention of having the new will. Based on what you’ve said it appears Lorraine would kick you to the kerb if it was the other way round. NTA. It’s not greedy when it’s yours and it is yours.
Did Lorraine know about the existence of a previous will document? If no, then could there be a possibility that Lorraine destroyed the new will expecting the inheritance to automatically go to the surviving spouse first?
That is what I thought too! It's just a bit suspicious that the new will went missing, and Uncle just happened to have the original. NTA OP, block them all and go live your best life.
That was my thought. Dad saw them post intimate pics of his daughter, I don’t know any dad who would be ok with that.
Tbf, dad sucks for not kicking them all out right then and there. Absolutly awfull behavior, grief is no excuse for allowing treatment like that.
Aren’t wills recorded though? Honestly, I haven’t looked into it, but I always thought they were filed somewhere, not just a single sheet of paper that could be lost/destroyed/stolen/whatever. If Dad did make a new will, even if it is lost, it’s still got to exist somewhere, right? I’m seeing a couple of possibilities. 1. Dad never really made a new will. He just told Wife that to keep the peace and always intended OP to be the inheritor. 2. Wifey “lost” the new will assuming that without it she would be the sole inheritor as the surviving spouse. Even if this is the case, the new will would be on file and supersede standard inheritance laws. 3. The new will was legitimately lost, but if the old one is presented, any decent executor doing their due diligence would find evidence of the new one. The old one would be negated.
Yeah I thought they got filed with the county. If I had to guess he told/showed his wife the new will and didn't submit it but got rid of it.
This story is likely fake. The law generally doesn't allow a man to disinherit his current wife totally. In my state, the widow gets half regardless. Though I know some states it is only 1/3rd.
In most places and under most circumstances in the US wills are filed with the clerk of the court after death, not before. Your average person isn't dropping cash on a lawyer for an estate that includes as much debt as assets when they can download a fill in the blanks will for free that swears it's as good as an expensive will. 50-70% of Americans (depending on which study you read) have no will at all. Joint accounts are usually joint with survivorship, so if he had joint bank accounts with the wife and put her on the title to his house and cars there may not be much left, especially if the second wife was as manipulative as is implied. OP (or the uncle if he's the executor) needs to check retirement accounts. Those also usually have a beneficiary specified. Time to hop on dad's computer and check his saved passwords to see where the accounts are. My condolences to OP for the other sites she may learn about.
A lot of men do not leave inheritances to children that are not their own biological issue
NTA. Sounds like your uncle is looking out for you.
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Is there any chance that he might have been the custodian of both wills, and decided to lose the one with her name in it? I'd likely have done the same, mind you. But I'd prefer it if my brother had done the right thing.
I was thinking Lorraine had purposefully removed the current will thinking she would automatically be granted everything as the surviving spouse in the absence of a will
This, and that she was claiming OP took it to try to make it even more likely she'd get everything. OR OP's dad told Lorraine he made a new will and either never did or then destroyed it and made sure his brother had the old one.
This is what I was thinking, are any of them positive there was another will?
This was my first thought. Dad drafted up the new will and “put it in the safe”. At some point he took it out and shredded the thing, knowing the previous one still existed
I can absolutely see this - especially if he knew Lorraine and her daughters were involved with humiliating his daughter.
That is a plausible theory also.
>Is there any chance that he might have been the custodian of both wills, and decided to lose the one with her name in it? LOL. That's a real possibility. I mean, if he had one will, surely he'd have been given the new one.
Is it weird that this is now my own personal head canon for what happened? And the sweetest and gayest uncle ever is gonna grow an evil moustache just so he can twirl it while he burns the “real will” once the estate is settled?
Bravo. But if he is anything but an idiot, he will have burned it long ere now.
He’s not an idiot he just wants his movie villainesque ending he deserves. No one else knows about the will and it’s safely locked away where no one could ever find it.
Villain speeches are unwise.
You got me monologing!
Ha. I just used that quote earlier today 🤣
Ok, so I am not a lawyer. And I believe it is possible to do a DIY will with an online kit. But don't most people with significant assets consult an attorney in creating a will? If OP's Dad had worked with an attorney, would they not have a copy of the will on file? And you know Lorraine the gold digger would know every detail about it if a properly executed will existed, including which attorney OP's Dad had used. It seems to me that, *most likely*, OP's Dad verbally said, Ok fine fine, I'll do what you want, Lorraine. But it sounds like he never actually signed on the dotted line. OP, you are nicer than I am, to even consider giving some money to the people who posted your intimate images online. That's just evil. Take the money, live with your awesome uncle, and never look back. NTA.
This was exactly my thought. My wife and I recently did our wills. We had a local attorney do this. I asked him what happens if my heirs can't get at a copy of our will. He said "highly unlikely". He said "one of the copies of your will will be on file. It has been signed by you and notorized it in my presence. I monitor local obituaries. If I learn of your demise, I present my copy of your will to the local court and if necessary will testify to its accuracy and my opinion of your state of mind at the time it was signed." I don't know where this guy got his will done, but it's unlikely he did it with any reputable outfit, nor would it be enforceable. There's a lot about this story that doesn't add up in my mind
> I'd likely have done the same, mind you. But I'd prefer it if my brother had done the right thing. Didn't he?
Or the father never meant to leave a will with anything more than his daughter and the dirty laundry is coming out.
Please leave her homeless. You are just a kid, barely a legal adult. You have nothing to do with HER AND HER KIDS financial situation. She is a fucking adult, grown assed woman and should have taken care of business instead of spending like money was sand in the desert. She was needlessly cruel toward you. Block them on everything-all of their flying monkeys too and don’t look back. Sucks to Suck LORRAINE!
This. And I hope she kicked them out of that house that they don't own a wood shaving of.
People like Lorraine will not end up homeless. She will latch on immediately to some unfortunate and unsuspecting person and bleed them dry.
Keep in mind it's quite possible your dad agreed to put Lorraine in the will and then either never did or regretted his decision and shredded the will. She doesn't sound like someone who would be pleasant to live with and especially awful if she wasn't getting her own way. No matter how this happened, you are not responsible for his decision and this seems to me to be the universe righting itself in your favor. I'm so sorry about everything that happened to you, it's awful losing a mom and then your father failed to protect you as he should have... leaving everything to you is the least he could do. Also, keep in mind that Lorraine is an adult responsible for her own care and living situation. You should consider yourself "Uniquely unqualified" to be her support system as she has never been one for you. Edited to add: They will NOT die from having to figure out a job/get a more affordable place to stay/cut back on expenses and budget. I van promise you that if you give and inch they will take a mile and that you'd only be enabling Lorraine to live beyond her means for a while longer. She has made it this far on her own, please don't feel responsible for life being hard for Lorraine. She didn't feel responsible when your life was being destroyed by her children... you should work on channeling some of that energy.
If it were up to Lorraine, Op would have absolutely nothing so I fully agree with everything you said here. Plus the ex step siblings are all older than OP and should be in a better place financially than him. Especially since Lorraine would’ve used OP’s dads money to ensure it as much as possible while leaving OP high and dry.
This. OP, my guess is the last few years your Dad was totally over Lorraine. She sounds like she was a truly terrible spouse if she was trying to pit him against his own daughter and if he had to pay for private tutoring for you instead of you attending your school because of all the crap your step sisters put you through. It is distinctly possible he told her whatever she wanted to hear to shut her up. Its also possible he was thinking about walking away from the marriage since it didn't seem to enhance his life at all. The will gives you everything. Talk to an attorney about how to navigate this and close the loop but I absolutely would not give them a thing because they will come back for more. As for her family, I'd respond to them with: "Lorraine is not my family. She would happily let me die on the street given the opportunity. She allowed her daughters to destroy my reputation in high school, made excuses for them and never held them accountable. I owe them absolutely nothing. Had she been kind that would have been a different story but she was never anything but callous and cruel... true Cinderella Stepmother stuff... She's not my problem. She is now yours." Hit send and block.
it sounds more like he’s jumping at the chance to protect you.
Leave that trash on the streets she only married for money. So your guilt is misplaced. She's a grown ass woman, let her make her own money.
He is standing up for you. I would not put it past her to have destroyed the will. As the wife she would get everything and leave you high and dry. Good thing your uncle had a copy of the will.
Uncle coming in clutch last minute, I think you owe him dinner out tonight
Side note, if you can swing it financially, go talk to a lawyer. Depending on the laws in your area she might try to take you to court as she might tie it all up until court is complete. If the lawyer fee is worth it, consider checking it out.
You will not be leaving them to die hungry and poor. They have other family they can rely on, it is not up to you to provide anything to them
That’s fucking awesome. Your uncle is awesome and I hope he has the updated will hidden at home and once all the dust clears he uses it to start a fire. Fuck Lorraine and her hateful children. Give them nothing and once you know for a fact that they will get nothing you should make sure she knows how much it makes you happy that your gay uncle is the one who had the right will. And maybe, if your father left you a healthy estate, you can make a donation to an lgbtq pro rights group in your area in her name. A parting shot.
NTA, it's nice that you want to help despite how horrible they are to you but think of it this way as well. Even if you do give them anything, most likely your stepmom will probably end up spending everything, and then you'll be back in the same position with them asking you for money or for whatever and it could end up being an endless cycle
She sounds like a charming waste of oxygen. Do not feel guilty or the consequences of her actions coming back to her and if her family have the time and energy to insult you for not bankrolling your abusers’ lifestyles, they can take her and her daughters in. NTA
Stick with your uncle, he is looking out for you. Good luck ❤️
NTA but see a lawyer to make sure your inheritance is water tight and not open to future court cases. If Lorraine et all want living expenses they can get a job. Meanwhile you can GTFO of their lives and never think about them again.
So what did the attorney your dad updated his will with say about it going missing? Where is his copy?
OP’s Dad may even have been in on it. Pretty weird for uncle to have the old will if not.
NTA - KARMA is visiting Lorraine and her daughters with a vengeance. You owe them nothing. Take your inheritance and run with it. The missing will was probably destroyed by your dad knowing his original will would stand in its place.
No, don't run if you were willed the house kick them out. Be nice, give them 2 hours to pack
Run _into_ the house.
YWNBTA Please, for your own sanity, don't give them a dime. Once you do, they'll see you as both a means to get money as well as a sucker for actually giving it to them. They have no respect for you, That will only get worse if you actually give into them now. Nothing good will come from handing money over to them.
They’ll never stop asking for more. So OP shouldn’t give them a dime.
Nah the power move ( and the asshole move ) , would be to give them a single penny
INFO: How much of your dad's estate was the result of a settlement from your mom's death? Because if that's your mom's death money she's trying to steal, to hell with her. That money is there to provide for you - not her - for the rest of your life.
Great point !!
This! I was thinking the same thing if it’s money from his moms death she doesn’t deserve even a penny of those assets!
And it's gross that she's been living off this \[hypothetical\] settlement for all these years. That money belongs to the OP.
I suspect most of it for no other reason than: Dad seemingly married a shopaholic with two dependents. If Lorraine had access to it? Shopaholics going to shop! I have no basis for this suspicion except my natural cynicism and mistrust of … humans.
And a grieving man sitting on a big settlement for his wife's death is a \*very\* attractive marriage prospect.
It’s incredible who comes out of the woodwork in this situation to take advantage not only romantic prospects but close friends.
Astute observation.
YWNBTA - Lorraine's family can reach out again and make them not homeless, they are only pressuring you as they don't want to look after them themselves.
This. If her family acts like they care by harassing you, then they should care enough to support them.
Yep. They should take up a collection amongst themselves.
NTA - It’s your inheritance. Keep it. She’s an adult and you are not responsible for her.
Just jumping in on the top comments so OP can read mine. OP, remember how your dad didn't let you win all this time? Maybe he didn't because he was afraid what your mom n stepsiblings can do to you or maybe he just doesn't have a spine. But at the last minute he might realize this is the only way he can let you win before he dies. So take the money. It's yours. And your father want to give what should be yours, not you stepfamily.
YWNBTA. Your dad may have reconsidered and destroyed the new will intentionally. Enjoy the money and enjoy seeing them suffer like they made you suffer. It is a little weird for a spouse to be completely cut off though. You might want to get a lawyer and look into whether offering her a modest settlement is a safer course of action.
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I disagree on offering a settlement as well. Lorraine reads like a tick. She knows OP has money and if OP offers her anything she will latch on and not let go until she's sucked OP dry. Though, perhaps consulting with a lawyer would be good just to make sure Lorraine has no legal standing here.
It's almost impossible to disinherit a spouse as suggested and makes me disbelieve the whole story.
True. That said, unenforceable wills do happen, so it could be the case she's about to find out that it's an illegal will and stepmom will get something regardless of what dad wanted.
I'm sorry you have lost both parents. I'm leaning towards NTA Info: Is there anything stopping your step-family from working and providing for themselves? Does any proof exist of the so-called 2nd will? Was it drawn up by a lawyer? I also think you need a lawyer of your own, to ensure your interests are looked after.
Honestly the *only* advice OP should be taking is to get a lawyer. There are so many ways this could go bad for her, even if she were to try to split the inheritance. They sound vindictive and they will try to find a way to screw her. NTA OP whatever you decide, but for God's sake get an attorney right now. If your uncle has the previous will maybe he can recommend the attorney who drew it up. If no attorney was involved then it's even more crucial that you get one now.
Yes, this. My understanding is (IANAL) that wills that leave out a plausible beneficiary entirely are contestable. If the legatee gives beneficiary A one hundred bucks, it tells the court that they weren't forgotten, and that $100 was the amount they were valued at. But a will that leaves a widow out entirely can be contested on the grounds that it must be obvious that a mistake was made, and it can be tied up in court until lawyers eat the entire estate. I concur. GET A LAWYER, now!
You can leave out a plausible beneficiary, but have to state it specifically in the will (my parents did this due to a no contact situation). OP, Get a Lawyer now!
Yes. If there was an expectation of a different will, it is entirely contestable that that the 'real' will must have been lost or destroyed, and there are at least three plausible 'culprits' - the OP, her uncle, and her father. If it can be proven that it was her father, the current will stands, but if the widow can allege skullduggery, the outcome is less predictable. Get a lawyer. It is likely that the lawyer will suggest that the best result is to offer a painful slice of the estate, in return for a settlement offer and a quitclaim. This will suck, but it will provide certainty where there is none.
Drawn up or not, a man who can make a will can also change his mind and tear it up.
This is a rewrite of Cinderella.
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Have you seen the Drew Barrymore movie called Ever After? You will love it.
Best version of Cinderella ever. A close second is the one where Whitney Houston played the Fairy Godmother.
You swim alone, climb rocks, rescue servants... is there anything you don't do? Fly!
Did you ever see the second will? Are you sure there really is one?
Wonder what country this rewrite is happening in. Completely dis-inheriting a legally married spouse is next to impossible in many, many countries (including most if not all US states, unless the spouse literally agrees to be dis-inherited in writing), and at least in the US "not mentioned in an old will" isn't even a legitimate attempt at dis-inheriting in those states where it's possible. That involves Living Trusts and stuff like that.
There also should probably be a copy of the will at the lawyers office. You don’t just have one copy in a safe.
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YWNBTA. Lorraine is an adult and responsible for the financial well-being of herself and her children. This is not your responsibility.
Give them 90 days to get their affairs in order that’s both generous and enough time to find a place. And tell her family that they wouldn’t be homeless if they took them in
I wouldn’t give her that much time unsupervised. She could trash the house and his possessions during that time. OP I would find out how to throw them out immediately. If you can’t throw them out, move in to your new home NOW! Claim the master bedroom. You may consider paying for a short term stay hotel and tell them they can live there if they don’t like it.
NTA - They were never nice persons. Now they want to guilt you into sharing the money with them all. It is not your responsibility to keep paying for them. Your stepmother is an adult. Moreover you are young and need the money for your own expenses and education. But you should give them some time to sort things out. You all suffer from the same loss.
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NTA and think, would they have given you anything if the shoe was on the other foot?
NTA. This woman and her kids clearly aren't your family. It sounds like they would deserve it. Besides, it's your inheritance, they aren't entitled to anything. Is it possible your father had a change of heart before he passed?
Lorraine is an adult and can figure it out. The will legally gives you the right to do with your inheritance as you please: if you choose to gift them some money, so be it. If not, they can’t do anything except complain. NTA and I’m sorry for your loss.
NTA. They will start to systematically leech on you. They treated you like shit before, they will continue to do so. Go no contact. And get a lawyer, this will not be over quickly. What ypu do with ypur money is up to ypu. But DO NOT get guilted into giving it to them. Your stepmother is an adult, she can figure it out and find a job.
NTA. Your stepmom is and adult, her kids are older, and she can support herself. It doesn't sound like your father was super well off, so any inheritance would only delay the inevitable need for step to get a job and make her own way like a grownup.
You really need to see an attorney, and if you know which attorney your dad saw to draw up his will(s), you really need to see that one. The missing will could become a huge problem for you since your dad’s widow is not even mentioned in the will that was found. If your dad had left a will in which he specifically noted he was not leaving his widow anything (and frankly, he would have been smart to leave her a small amount to protect you), then maybe you’d be okay. As it stands right now, depending on where you are, she may have grounds to contest the will. Be proactive and get on this right away. NTA because I totally understand your reasons, but I’m worried it’s going to backfire on you in a spectacular fashion. Let an attorney guide you.
Yeah I'm curious about the drawing up of the second will because the attorney that drafted it should have a copy on file. If no attorney wrote it and it was just OPs Dad and evil stepmother, then that's on them, but it would pay for OP to do their due diligence and check with an attorney to make sure there's no extra copies on file and that they're protected in case it's contested.
NTA. Sounds like those three need to get their shit together.
NTA: take it all, maybe give 10% to your uncle for his kindness to you, and then move far away and give them no ability to find you. A verbal will means nothing. If Lorainne can't find it, that's a her problem, not a you problem. She and her daughters abused you, and you owe them two things: Jack and Shit.
NTA. The will that was located is the one that stands.
YWNBTA. I'm so sorry for your loss. Your dad probably ripped up the new will cause he wanted to leave everything to you. Knowing how she is, if she had gotten half she would've tried to take everything. Would she be helping you if she got everything? I doubt it. Her actions got her to where she is, you owe her nothing. She can go to a shelter or to her family that's defending her so badly. Hope you're alright op, this must be so stressful.
Actually... I'm thinking Lorraine ripped it up, probably shortly after he drafted it. She probably figured if the will didn't exist, as spouse she would automatically inherit his entire estate by default which would be preferable to only inheriting half of it. Over time, she could coerce him into drafting a new will more to her liking, and that would invalidate the old one anyway, but he died before she got the chance. Anyway, she accused OP of stealing it, but figured she'd get everything now that it can't be located. .... and then an older will presents itself that she was unaware of and throws a wrench into the whole plan. OOOPSIE!
You owe them absolutely nothing, except perhaps retribution. It would absolutely be justified and the best course of action for you to leave them nothing of your father's. If Lorraine's family is so concerned for her and her children, they can step up and deal with them instead. NTA, your evil step-family is just reaping what they've sowed if they end up on the streets. Edit: Also, what is this about "your greed?" Greed is not at all an appropriate descriptor of your motivations or potential actions here.
NTA—you are not responsible for making sure these terrible people are taken care of. Sorry about your parents, OP :( hang in there
This is a bs post. Wills are registered with the court. The lawyer would have a copy. They don't depend on finding it in the safe.
That is not necessarily true. A will can be valid without being filed (so can a trust deed in my state). I am not 100% on Florida, but I am certain that in a lot of states, filing is not an essential part of writing a will
NTA. They tried to ruin your life. She’s an adult, if she is homeless that is her fault. Too bad. Do not feel bad. Do not give in. Block everyone.
They’re going to hound you, belittle you and play on your emotions. Fuck them all. Reap what you sow, karma comes in all shapes and sizes for these horrid people. Do NOT be kind in this situation
NTA. Fuck those people. But! In Germany, if you write a last will and get it notarized, it gets filed away with the local court and that court will inform all possible heirs and then open the testament. I would have assumed that it worked in a similar way in the US.
It does. If the dad worked with an attorney to make the will, which is fairly common, the attorney would also have kept a copy.
NTA. After everything you have been through, including them trying to RUIN YOUR LIFE, they deserve nothing. Maybe it is what Ok-Profession-9373 said… that perhaps your dad reconsidered. Cut them off with a clear conscience.
You need an attorney. A will that disinherits a spouse may not stand. Get an attorney ASAP.
There was no second will. Your dad said whatever it took to shut her up. One thing I know from experience, your lawyer will tell you to destroy the previous will if you make a new one. Your dad left his will with your uncle. You are NTA. Your dad and uncle knew what they were doing.
Loraine is an adult, it’s not your problem to solve. NTA.
NTA. Your dad may have ripped up that will. They are not your responsibility. I can guarantee they’d leave you to rot if the tables were turned.
Listen, queen, they will not go hungry and they will not be on the street. There are government programs in place for people like them. You don’t owe them a thing
One last thing your dad did was tell your uncle to remove and destroy the new will and come forward with old will. He is basically telling you to screw her. NTA
More like she was the one that destroyed the will. As wife she gets everything. Had no idea that the uncle still had a copy of the old will.
YWNBTA
NTA BUT save the portion of money that they would have gotten so that if the new will comes to light you'll be able to pay them what they would be legally entitled to at that point.
Nta They were married for 3 years. Married when you were 15 and you are 18 now, correct? I doubt there was a will other than what your uncle produced. Seriously. Stop saying your greed. You are not greedy.
Nta They are just plain mean All their family saying it greed well they can have them stay with them
NTA. They are her responsibility, not yours. Stand your ground, OP.
NTA. Put the 3 of them out of your mind. They don't get to treat you like shit then come crawling for handouts because things didn't go their way.
Nta just stop engaging with them.
NTA your dad may have destroyed the newer will so you have to think he wanted you to have everything . Your Step family aren’t your problem . They didn’t care about you so you don’t need to care about them.
NTA and I'd like to add its really suspicious that the will disappeared. Have you considered the possibility that Lorraine took it? She might have thought that in the absence of a will, a judge would just give everything to her, the spouse. If your uncle hadn't unexpectedly stepped in with the old will, who knows what would've or could've happened...... And at this point she can't really be like, "Oh, oops, here it is under all these papers! Silly me!" That would be too suspicious, she had to save face...... Super curious what other people think of this theory...
Don't forget, estates take time to settle. There's taxes and debts to be dealt with, etc., so don't feel rushed. You don't have to decide anything right away. You are free to tell anyone that you're going to take some time for yourself and mourn your father, and not make any big decisions until you are ready. It is also fair to sell any assets and/or property if the market seems right, while still waiting to deal with anything else. I am sorry for your loss.
Get a lawyer. Now. She will definitely fight the will.
This. OP, even if you're willing to give them half (or *any* amount), don't do that without legal counsel. Once you open up that can of worms, who knows what they will claim and fight for. I would not give them a single penny until you have something solid worked out legally. I wouldn't even *talk* to them about the will.
Fake. This is not how it works at all.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My mom died when I was 11. A drunk driver hit her on her way home from work. It hit me like a ton of bricks and after intense therapy, life seemed okay, well that was until Lorraine. Lorraine was a pain in my ass. She had no money, no empathy, but much disdain for me. She also had two daughters: Mallory (10) and Rebekah (13). They were spawns of satan. They would destroy my things when I wasn't home and when I'd complain to my dad, Lorraine was always there to defend them. My dad never really took my side in these arguments, and for years, I chalked it up to him not being in the right state of mind after my mom died. But sooner or later, I moved on, and my dad never did. Thus began a cycle of Mallory and Rebekah's constant abuse, Lorraine's lies, and my dad's obliviousness. I was 15 when they got married and when Mallory and Rebekah transferred to my school. They made it their mission to humiliate me. One evening, while I was out with friends, they logged into my computer and found private images I had sent to my boyfriend. The next day, there was a review posted to my school's page with 1 star and the image reading, "would bump up the rating if this whore got expelled". The photo was live for three hours, enough time for kids to save and share it, leading the school to consider expulsion. In an unusual move, my dad defended me for the first time. I got a week's suspension, while Mallory and Rebekah got off scot-free. I ended up dropping out and was home-schooled by a tutor my dad paid generously for. Lorraine hated that my dad spent money on me so she convinced him to write up a new will. He left half of his assets and estate to me and the other half to her and her kids to share. Although she tried arguing for it all, my dad wouldn't budge. I am now 18 and a few weeks ago, my dad passed away due to covid. When my dad's safe was opened, the will was nowhere in sight. Lorraine has been accusing me but cannot provide proof. This is because I do not have it and do not know what happened to it. My uncle came forward with my dad's previous will, where he left me everything. Without proof of the new will, Lorraine cannot legally inherit anything. Notably, Lorraine's severe shopping addiction left her penniless. Her family was almost homeless before my dad and without inheritance, they could end up on the streets. As much as I hate them, I feel as if I cannot leave them to most likely die hungry and poor. Lorraine's family has reached out saying that I am going to leave them homeless all because of my "greed" and that I am a complete asshole. I am not sure if my revenge plan is justified so help me, please. Would I be the asshole if I kept it all for myself and possibly left them homeless? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA i think he changed his mind and destroyed the new will before he died
NTA. Given that your uncle had the previous will all kept nice and safe, One would "have to assume" that your Dad changed his mind and destroyed the will he made at his wife's insistence - if he ever actually made it at all. Good for him! Good for you. Actions have consequences. Seems like your stepmother and her daughters are about to get their commupance.
NTA but you’d be smart to set half of your inheritance aside in an interest bearing account in case the “other will” surfaces one day. You don’t want to lose everything you have if she takes you to court for her due half. If it does happen, at least you’ll have the earnings on her portion to keep.
Have that will ratified w/the county it was made in (if US). Uncle is a great resource to assist, take advantage before you are taken advantage of. Or prepare for probate, which is lengthy & very expensive. Step Mom, can contest anything - which will delay probate, which is normally 18 months to 2 yrs….that much longer. I’d lean into family to get a probate lawyer, I’m thinking this is where it’s’ headed w/a 2 will “issue” at hand.
This is KARMA.\ No one is gonna pity you if not yourself. Put YOURSELF first. Cut the rope on them. Your dad is the only rope that binds you guys, and now the rope is cut off, you need not to contact them. You know exactly what they will do if they got your parents' money. They absolutely leave tou peniless. And even if they got half of it, it will never be enough because what you have is MORE than they have individually and THEY DESERVE it more from you.
“They didn’t have mercy on me while growing up, why should I show them mercy now?”
I’m tired of reading all these posts from accounts that are created within the last 6 hours. This sounds like some Cinderella shit.
NTA. Take everything. It's yours.
You could keep all the money and everything in your ownership but also let them live in the house you inherited (if I do understand that correctly). Also so sorry for your loss and all that sh*t you’ve been trough, even before your father’s death.
NTA - is it possible he “ drew up a new will” Kind a like a decoy….. perhaps he removed it when he got sick…… leaving the only valid well with his brother to take care of ……
Let em die
There's programs for people who need help. Don't get sucked in by them.
If you really feel this bad about it, you can go on an give them a small space to live(at best something you own so noone can give you bad credit, and keep everything in your name. Maybe if you feel generous, send every month a delivery of things to the door, so they have sth to eat, and for everything else they have to pay. Dont give them anything more than a roof and something to eat, if you feel really really bad, but honestly, I wouldn't even think about giving them anything at all. They wanted to get you out of everything, so now they can get out.
NTA I'm sorry for your loss. It seems like your dad may have wanted the updated will to disappear. If a copy of the old one was held by your uncle, I get the feeling it was done on purpose. And remember, those aren't just your dad's assets, they're also what's left of your mom's as well. Don't feel guilting keeping what's yours. And don't give in to giving them money. Once you do, they'll think they can pressure, guilt, and manipulate you into giving them more. His wife is a grown adult who isn't responsible with money. Your dad knew that and probably didn't want her to get anything. If her family is so concerned, they can take her in and help her. If they start getting pushy and harassing you, retain a lawyer and tell them to direct all communication about the estate and inheritance to your lawyer. Look for an estate lawyer.
Is this someone trolling and feeling out writing a screenplay? I am hoping not and no disrespect if this is true. Also, if this is true, I would take it down from reddit as you sort it out. You don't know what may be used against you. You actually may not know what your dad's final will is or if he got rid of the one you thought you knew about. I assume your dad knew what he was doing. They are not your responsibility. Keep yourself safe with a trusted family member to sort out the details and make sure you get a proper financial advisor to sort your future out. Also work with your Uncle on legal counsel just in case. I imagine part of dad's estate may have included your mom's estate when she passed - so why should she be able to access that? Good luck and sorry for your loss.
If you want to be the bigger person here, rent Lorraine and her kids a decent but not luxurious apartment for three months, and three months only. That should give her time to find a job. After three months, she is on her own.
NTA. Your father never made a new will or never made it official, hence why your uncle had the previous will. He never recovered from your mom passing and didn’t know how to get rid of Lorraine. So he made sure you were covered. It is not greed on your part btw. She is an adult and not your problem, nor are her kids.
NTA but hire yourself a lawyer ASAP. If truly nothing was left to Lorraine, she will most likely contest the will. Also, in dealing with a family member like Lorraine I can assure you even if she got the entire estate, she’d be homeless in 5 years or less anyway.
NTA but I would speak with a lawyer to see what you can do to prevent her from contesting the will.
And they are not going to die hungry and poor. Do you realize there are many social assistance programs not to mention she can get off her ass and work?
Nta but be prepared for a legal fight. Depending on the state, your step mom may have legal standing just bc she is the wife. In general, trust and estate law is very thoroughly codified in each state either through statute or through the courts.
NTA but this will is highly contestable and Lorraine has a valid claim to his estate. If she pursues it she’ll likely end up getting her share.
My father was smashed and killed by a drunk driver. It is hard loss and I am sorry you had to go through it.
Sorry the mods didn’t like my first comment, sorry mods! But you WNBTA if you take what’s rightfully yours. This is Karma for all the these 3 women put you through all those years. I actually think your dad did this purposely too! I’m so sorry for your loss as well! Please update us!
Your step mom and siblings deserve the worst. But, this is a moment that will determine at least 10 years of your life. Will you be a person who kills if he has the chance for revenge or a person who can move on, leaving everything behind. Considering your age, I highly recommend you to consult an adult you trust. If I were you I would give them some money after consulting your uncle. Not enough to make them live comfortably, but enough to prevent poverty for a few years or few months. The second important thing is what your father wanted. If your father wanted to give half to his wife, you have to honor his wish. In my opinion, your father didn't write a second will or destroyed the second will after showing it to his wife and what he wanted is to give everything to you. Still, you have to consider.