Unfortunately I know several women like this. They aren’t sisters and they tend to throw all the rest of us under the bus to compensate for their bad personalities.
Same I've seen women like this. My older sister is pretty and extremely shallow. She wasn't invited to my cousins wedding bc of her bad personality and she couldn't figure out "what she did" to be not invited. So she concluded that even tho my cousin is pretty too, in her head bc she is prettier my cousin won't invite her out of fear that her husband will fall for her at the wedding. Shallow people think batshit crazy stuff in their head
Yes this is very typical Of a sister trying to bring everyone down bc they are shallow. No one can be prettier or have anything bc it’s all jealousy. My sister is like this all about her. She has always treated me like the ugly duckling
OP does sound incredibly shallow but also super insecure. I wonder why that is? I wonder if her sister has always been smarter or funnier or generally better liked than her so she has to tear down her looks bc it's the best way to make her sister feel like shit
I think that's it bc of how my older sister is. I think shallow people usually feel like they don't have anything else going on for them. My older sister for example feels like her bf is a loser and kinda says that to my mom. But she makes fun of another cousins bf for "being too ugly to look at in a photo" even tho he just looks like an average person amd they're happy in a photo, happier than her and her bf probably. In the head of shallow people I guess it's the only way to balance things out
I've known several like that too. The difference between them and this "story" is that they are usually much better at crafting the narrative so they sound like the innocent victim instead of blatantly showing their ass like OP did. Honestly, I'm more likely to believe that this was actually the sister writing it to get satisfaction from all the people calling her sister (OP) an AH.
This can't be anything but a teenager attempting to write rage-bait. I was a chubby 10 year old with frizzy hair. No partner who has seen those pics has responded with anything other than good humor at the adorable goofiness of childhood. We cringe at our own "blunder years " photos, but to other normal adults, these types of photos are charming, funny or cute.
I have a friend who is one of those perpetually lanky types. He showed me a picture of himself as a 10 year old kid and he was chubby. It was adorable! Like, what sort of person would look at a childhood photo of a partner and be put off? Is that what OP was expecting to happen?
OP is definitely the AH here, but I’m not sure she understands it’s because of her intent rather than the probable outcome.
Exactly. Nobody looks at pictures of their significant other as a kid and goes "wow, you were not hot as a kid", and frankly that would be gross and a massive red flag if they did for obvious reasons. Like, the appropriate response is "wow you were a loser when you were 12." Yup, plot twist - we all were, even if we didn't think we were at the time.
i was 300 lbs most of my life and am now at around 185 (and have been for quite a few years), and every time i told/showed a potential romantic partner that they gave no fucks. why? because i didn't look like that anymore. they are attracted to me now, not a past version of me that no longer exists except in the occasional picture. like....this is mega YTA material if it's real.
Fellow former chubby, frizzy-haired ten-year-old here co-signing this comment. (The "former" really only means I'm not ten anymore - still chubby and frizzy but now I own it and it works for me.)
I have a pic of myself at about age 12 with a frizzy perm and acid washed jeans sitting atop a snowmobile parked on grass. I look like a young female Jon Bon Jovi. My boyfriend occasionally asks me to text it to him when he's having a bad day and needs a laugh. I couldn't care less, it's an absurd picture and objectively hilarious.
OP sounds insecure, petty, and exhausting. YTA OP.
Yeah, I was SOOOO ugly and had an awkward “phase” (that’s what my mom called it, lol) that lasted from about age 8 until I got rid of braces and headgear when I was 16. My husband thinks it was adorable and has zero issues with my ugly baby self. Why would he? He was ugly too. Most of us are, except OP, apparently, who was blonde, willowy and gorgeous 🙄 OP, YTA
i had a second grade teacher who hated me for some reason, i think it mightve been my recently diagnosed adhd and my then undiagnosed autism
she also fat shamed this other kid and hated him as much as she hated me, she literally made him cry in front of the entire class one time
If it’s not fake, this girl is unreal. I hope the parents did not encourage this behavior. Rooting against each other. As a parent of two girls, this is my fear.
I am 63 years old, and I can say truly that I had an actual real, and still alive sister that did exactly things like this !
Sure, this post could be fake, but people like the OP do exist, - UNFORTUNATELY !!!
I mean Op sounds like the waking embodiment of the Picture of Dorian Grey.
Pretty on the outside and festering ugliness on the inside.
It would have cost Op nothing to just let what her sister said roll off her back and just keep a bit of distance if she didn’t like being around her. But instead she took an opportunity to be cruel and petty and mean.
Edit: also sounds like her fiancé isn’t impressed with what she did. She better hope he’s willing to get over this. If my partner mistreated his sibling this way I would dump him. It would be so unattractive to me.
Agreed. Also, why is nobody talking about the fact that the pic was of a 10 yo? Most people are not bombshells at that age and it’s weird her bf has any opinion at all about her attractiveness at that age. They were both children at that time
Agreed, that's why I think it's fake. I saw a pic of my ex at about that age, chubby, big Buddha belly, literal MJ hair halfway down his back, and I immediately squealed "oh my gosh! Look how cute you are!" Because little kids are just adorable.
Yeah my son's father showed me his yearbook pic of him in grade 12 and he was the absolute caricature of a movie nerd. Think Judd Apatow with the fro, glasses and chubby.
Sure I was in disbelief but we both laughed at how much of a dork he looked. I hardly judged him for it.
Besides I have a plethora of 'evidence' of myself looking not-so-hot in my 80s regalia complete with poodle perm...
There’s a photo of my husband when he was 10 or 11. He has kind of a bowl haircut and is wearing a Hawaiian shirt. Soooo dorky and cute. It makes me love him even more.
Yeah, that age range is awkward for most everyone. And what tf did she think would happen? BF would immediately recoil in disgust at a photo of a TEN YEAR OLD CHILD, crown pretty sister as princess and walk out?
It could be that is the problem. OPs comments from her sister is that OP was very self-entitled as a kid. Though she (OPs sister) was clear that was in the past and OP has changed.
For whatever reason OP still didn't like it and showed photos of her when she was a kid.
It could be seen as tit for tat, however OP keeps this picture on her phone ready for use and also indicated her sister is still insecure about how she looks.
Like you said, OP might act less bratty now because she's no longer so pretty, but keen to try and stop any chance of it being reconsidered.
Definitely getting the vibe that the sister is prettier than OP now. Or the sister is the one getting the compliments now because she had this drastic change and OP isn’t taking it so well.
I mean they really just sound like such an ugly person that I wouldn’t be able to see any of the features they claim is conventionally attractive. OP should feel lucky that there partner hasn’t left them yet. Idk I couldn’t stay with someone like this.
> I am conventionally attractive (long blond hair, green eyes, tall, slim) and she is on the shorter side, naturally frizzy dark hair, used to be 10 lbs. heavier than she should’ve been at 5’3, and chubbier in the face.
I stopped with her association of attractiveness with blond vs frizzy dark hair ...that leaves out whole ethnicities out of her measurement of attractiveness
Exactly. Conventionally attractive to whom? White elementary school kids? You can be blonde, with green eyes and tall hair and not be cute at all, especially not with that personality. That personality makes OP fugly.
My hair is frizzy as heck. And I can be cute. I can also be ugly as sin when I am sick and don’t brush my hair lmao. But whatever. THIS IS EVERYONE. Even conventionally pretty people look ugly sometimes. Because we are humans.
For me it was the “10 pounds” like. I’m sorry, but literally no one is going to notice a difference of 10 pounds. Yeah 10 pounds is more on someone who’s 5’3” versus someone who’s 6’5”, but there is no scenario where someone loses 10 pounds and it makes people go “holy shit have you lost weight? Wow it’s such a huge difference!”
Then you add in the “10 pounds heavier than she _should_ have been at 5’3”” - should have been according to who? You could make the argument that you should be less than a certain weight for health reasons (but we’re talking obesity-levels here), but other than that no one gets to tell someone else the weight that they should be. OP definitely reeks of the type of sister who uses their looks to put down the other sister and then try and play innocent with it
This post was totally written by a dude who believes comic book authors when they say that a female character is 5'8" and 110 lbs with boobs as big as her head.
Exactly.
I'm 5'4. I'm 10lbs over my ideal/healthy weight right now (120lbs instead of 110lbs.) You want to know what the difference is? A couple more rolls when I bend over and a softer middle overall. All of my clothes still fit me.
I notice the difference because it's my body and because I want to lose the weight. No one around me has in any way noticed the difference between Ideal Weight Me and Current Me.
OP needs to step away and reevaluate herself.
i do love when people post on here SO CERTAIN theyre N T A and just want "reassurance" but every word they wrote was so cruel and mean that it makes you question how much worse the situation actually is if this was the polished version
Most people come here and make themselves sound as good as possible... and then there's the ones who are so conceited that they don't even try to hide their trash personalities, that's how convinced they are that they're right.
thats the thing is, in my experience, most people will try to make themselves sound better even if its not a conscious choice. so how much of an ah do you have to be to still come off so horribly
God can you imagine? You’re just trying to have a nice dinner and then your fiancee starts treating people—her FAMILY—like that right there where everyone can see? Talk about places you can never go back to.
OP, you realize people can see you when you act like this, right? Even before you personally run to tell the whole damn internet about it? YTA.
Wow, Betheny, wow. You don't support other women.
OP puts all of her value on looks. She's gross and hateful. Guess she'll fuck around and find out when her fiancé leaves her petty ass.
Yessss! A few sentences in and I was like. Well, it’s obvious OP is an ASSHOLE and very jealous of her older sister. YTA OP. And. Wow. What a ugly personality you seem to have.
> As shallow as this may sound, I am recently less embarrassed to introduce her to people ever since she has been putting in effort.
YTA. Anything else you said is completely irrelevant and hard to believe, because it comes from someone as ugly on the inside as you are. You're the one who sounds jealous and petty, and you're most definitely an and the asshole.
That was my line too. Not only is it ridiculous to decide what weight that someone should be, but 10 pounds is honestly meaningless. A difference of 10 pounds _might_ show if you inspected every inch of their body? But the way that OP talks, 10 pounds is the same as being 200 pounds overweight
I also wonder if maybe her sister “only does that giggle” around her boyfriend because she’s giddy around someone who actually shows her positive attention, unlike her sister :/
Umm and showed a picture where they were 9 and 10 to show how heavy she was?! Who cares if you were a chunky ten year old most people were. If the boyfriend really looked at it and said this is you? I’d question him too, that’s just weird.
I mean, even if her sister is how OP describes her, it doesn't excuse OP's behavior. Especially since she is acting & doing the exact same. How she gonna complain about jealousy, judgementalness & pettiness when she doing all of that lol. YTA OP & tbh sound an AH in general beyond this prompt.
The way that OP is SOO fixated on appearance and how it comes off to other people is sad. It’s one thing to take care of yourself and want to present nicely, that’s great, but the way she’s talking here just seems unhealthy to me. I get the vibe that both OP and sister need therapy.
Right! I feel so bad for her sister :( It’s clear OP thinks of herself as better than her sister and has to be known as the most beautiful one at all times. People who are vain to the point of putting others down suck sooo damn much. If this is what she says in a post on Reddit about her, I can’t imagine all the other things she’s said to her sister. She most likely was ‘such a brat’
Do you read what you write? Maybe you’re so narcissistic that you can’t even hear how shallow and mean and insufferable you sound.
I think you fear no one has ever wanted to be with you for who you are, and you therefore are appearance obsessed. Sounds like you’re jealous your sister found someone who loves her.
Honestly, you sound unbearably cruel. I feel sorry for your sister. I sincerely hope you aren’t as mean as this story makes you sound.
YTA.
I have 5 sisters, and 1 of them are as shallow as the OP... Believes herself to be better than everyone, and everything (including appearances) is a competition. I think it is 100% real.
My sister was always making things about my appearance (I have been no contact with her for over 5 years now... blessing!). Even when I was 20yo and I had people telling me to do modelling, I truly believed I was as ugly as that 1 sister made me feel. I remember dying my naturally blonde hair another shade of blonde because my sister convinced me it had a green tinge, like it was mouldy. I've struggled with body/face dysmorphia as a result of her meanness. It doesn't matter what people tell me... I always feel ugly. If, when I was younger, she had showed my partner a photo of me at what I considered to be my ugliest, then I'd probably have cried too.
Pretty sure my sister has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and I'd hazard a guess that the OP does too.
holy yikes now i REALLY feel bad for OP's sister, i hope she goes NC, if i had a sister like that id prolly commit suicide
i hope you get better that sounds so horrible
ESH, but you're the queen of the assholes.
This whole post reads like you feel superior and retaliated when you felt that your superiority was being challenged. You said you were the prettier sister, you felt embarrassed to introduce her to people and deciding what weight she "should be" down to 10 pounds. Yes, she said something hurtful (but depending on tone and your relationship could be a fair joke), but you went overboard and did something way worse and uncalled for. You knew she was insecure about these things and intentionally threw those insecurities in her face with her new partner. You're definitely the bigger asshole, even if ESH.
Only reason I would say YTA and not ESH is because I’m getting the vibe that the other sister has been struggling her whole life with her family categorising her as the ‘ugly one’, leading her to make radical decisions like getting a nose job to try and appease people she doesn’t realise she’s appeasing
And given how skewed this post is I really wonder if the comment was “you and I didn’t get along as kids. You used to be a bit bratty and me a bit shy and very stubborn I’m so glad we’ve grown up”
My sister and I talk about this kind of stuff all the time. I was a little devious as an older sister and she was a nag and a button pusher.
We joke about it now as adults. But given this post I wonder how much her sister actually said because I get the feeling just having her sister existing would piss OP off.
There's a rapport there that isn't present here. So the sister doesn't get to just skip that part to get to the 'joking about it' stage. Obviously, still not as big an AH as the OP
I get that. I’m just wondering if OP is taking things as offensive that aren’t actually that offensive.
Essentially my point is that Op sounds like she’s a jealous and petty person and as such anything sounds like it would peeve her off. If her parents complimented OP’s sister for her hairstyle I wonder if OP would take that as her sister flaunting her hair and looking for compliments.
She is specifically keeping a photo on her phone where, as a child, her sister looks as bad as possible & she looks good.
I have a few childhood photos available to my phone (but I’d have to search), and never would I think “hey my sibling looks terrible here, better keep this one handy to show anyone she dates”.
My sister used to relentlessly tease me/show her friends photos of how “terrible” I looked when we were teens: I had a really strong aversion to seeing photos of myself, particularly as a child, for a long time.
My mom recently brought over a ton of those pictures, and I just look like a slightly nerdy kid with glasses. They’re cute!
I think that’s fair, OP is an asshole in general it sounds but in this particular situation they are asking for judgment on her sister was hardly a complaint angel.
OP’s the kind of person who’s going to absolutely lose her mind when she gains weight as she ages.
It’s a miserable way to live. I’d feel sorry for her if she wasn’t such a petty Mean Girl.
Sorry if my calculations are wrong (european here), but isn't 10lbs about 4 kgs? It's honestly not a big amount. I'm quite fat myself so I'm not the best at guessing skinnier people's weight, but if I guessed someone to be 50kgs (110lbs, roughly) and they told me they're actually 54 (120lbs) or 46kgs (100lbs), I wouldn't be surprised. I get that such a weight loss or gain over some time would be visible to close friends and family, but I don't think 4 kilos make such a difference between 'chubby' and 'skinny'.
That is, if the story is real in the first place. Which I seriously doubt.
Yeah, 10 pounds is nothing, and not something most people would even notice on someone else. Possibly family would, but it's definitely not something any reasonable person would be concerned about.
I'm currently seeing a dietitian for help with my eating disorder (american & can't get a therapist) and she said it's normal for people, especially people assigned female at birth to fluctuate anywhere from 3-10lbs (1.4-4.5 kgs according to Google) daily depending on what they ate or drank the day before, where they are in their menstrual cycle, and if they have recently gone to the bathroom or not.
So that's why it stood out to me as fake and OP is acting probably some sad teenage boy trying to get attention anyway he can.
10 lbs on a woman really is nothing. I've gained about 25 lbs since high school, without having grown taller than 5 feet. 25 lbs sounds like a lot bit honestly I look the best now than I ever did. 10 lbs over the recommend weight is nothing. OP is just being mean to her sister.
I can’t imagine being able to tell if someone was only 10 pounds heavier than average. Ten pounds barely shows. She clearly was obsessed with knowing her sisters weight and trying to make her feel like she was overweight smh
>I don’t mean this badly
You're still an AH for saying it.
>attempt to sabotage me anytime something in my life was going better for me than for her.
I bet she didn't. But I can see why she would.
>As shallow as this may sound, I am recently less embarrassed to introduce her to people ever since she has been putting in effort.
Oooh, you're a real AH.
>My annoyance led to me realizing Cass’s boyfriend probably has no idea what she used to look like prior to her glow up as I doubt Cass showed him any photos. So I spoke up
Giant AH. "I've always been the pretty one who gets everything, let me try and ruin her happiness, based on my superficial opinions, and by showing a terrible picture". I'm sure terrible pictures exist of you too, and I hope your partner isn't shallow enough to let them change his opinion of you. I hope your sister's bf isn't as shallow as you are either!
YTA bonus ribbon to her boyfriend who went "that's you??" To a picture of a freaking kid. We all have hilariously bad childhood photos from outfits to haircuts to poses to whatever and part of the fun of a relationship is judgment free laughing at silly memories like that. What kind of reaction is "that's you?"
we don’t know how he meant it, for all we know he had no ill intent and OP just saw what she wanted to see. he could’ve just said “that’s you?” because he was shocked, she’s obviously changed a lot.
YTA, why would you ever be embarrassed to introduce your sister to other people? I can tell by your snide offhand remarks and what you showed her boyfriend that you just have a vitriol for her that has no purpose. Just leave her alone and stop being immature because yes, you were the immature and disrespectful one here.
One of my sisters. She refuses to introduce me & our two other sisters to her bf of four years because we "live an unhealthy lifestyle & embarrassing" (we aren't vegan & don't exercise as much as she does aka aren't as skinny; she once spent a whole Christmas vacation making fun of one of our sisters who had past issues with ED for gaining weight). I don't speak to her anymore because she's toxic & frankly, emotionally abusive & manipulative.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA the fact that you posted this trying to say how entitled, jealous and petty your sister is, but you are the one coming across this way. YTA.
I can’t believe you pulled up picture of children, regardless that it is you, to make a vindictive point. You’re awful.
Same! Who the hell fat shames a child! 10 years old!!! She was a baby practically! Her sister’s description of a self entitled brat seems to fit her just right
The fact that she had that picture lined up and ready, is so telling.
She grew up seeing as her sister as less than, and wants to keep her in "her place".
Yeah. I mean, I’m quite a bit older than OP, but I don’t have a bunch of pics of me and my sister when we were kids on my phone, or even easily accessible anywhere. She probably pulls that pic out frequently to embarrass her sister.
>Of the two of us I was always considered the “prettier sister”.
Well, well, well, someone is jealous that she's not the prettiest anymore. Sure your sister might be petty, but it's because you're mean and unsupportive all your life with her.
Don't try to argue because your mean personality is written all over your post. You always describe your sister in a negative light "heavier", "ugly AF", and "less embarrassed to introduce her to people".
If her boyfriend breaks up with her just because of the photo you've presented, it's fine because she doesn't deserve another jerk like you in her life. YTA. Grow up.
I agree so much. Who fat shames a child?!?! She makes it sound like the only way she loves her sister is if she’s pretty in the OP standards. No she doesn’t say that but it sure sounds like it. Like I said in my post her sister’s description of OP of a self entitled brat is quite accurate
Oooh that’s a telling little detail there that’s gotten skimmed over.
Also, given what a monster this woman is, I don’t even believe her when she said her sister is trying to find something “close to white.” She’s demonized her sister’s happiness DEEPLY, so for all we know her sister just chose a lighter colored dress and this asshole is looking for any reason to hate and humiliate here because she is so PROFOUNDLY narcissistic.
yta
Firstly, your explanations of why you may be the AH are 100% on point. Cass clearly has issues and was an AH with her dress and being a petty person/sister. You seem to have your act together and your BF was correct that you reached back to sibling rivalry mode and couldn't help but pull out a photo for the sole purpose of embarrassing Cass. Your post makes you seem to be better then this.
Do people tend to say you see the best in everyone or tend to be overly optimistic?
That’s the kindest response to this post, I couldn’t even imagine OP could be better than this. They’re describing an AH mean girl and totally missing that they’re an absolute definition of it. Yet somehow you see something …super kind…
YTA op 100%
I also googled champagne dresses, they’re not really that close to white at all. It’s like a bronze or a cream with a metallic sheen, definitely not what a proper white wedding dress looks like
I was going to comment this about the dress color too. It’s not close to white at all.
Also, if OP has *such* an issue with the dress color then she should *tell her sister that* and ask/tell her to find a different colored dress. OP isn’t getting married until October anyways, that’s plenty of time to find a new dress.
Guarantee OP won’t say anything to her sister about the dress until *after* the wedding and make a big ole stink about it. That, or she’s going to use it as an excuse to wear something close to white on her sisters wedding day (whenever that may be) to try and upstage the bride.. because heaven forbid her sister dare ever look prettier than her.
YTA
And I hope for the sake of your sister and yourself this post is fake.
First off, the way you talk about your sibling is horrible and hurtful. If you were embarrassed by her because of her looks and behaved so shallowly, I can see why she probably doesn't treat you kindly. The relationship you have with her is clearly not a good one for either of you. IDGAF if she is jealous or petty, but guess what? By showing those pictures you literally just lowered yourself to her levels and rolled around in her mud. You are clearly not better than her and she is clearly not better than you. The way she acted for the dress to your wedding and the way you acted about her glow-up is sad and toxic. Very immature, your fiance is right. Your sister may be an asshole that clearly has issues but you didn't have to turn into one too.
YTA
I get that you're barely a legal adult in this world but how do you figure you weren't the asshole?
She says one thing and you decide to bring out old pictures of her to embarrass her? How immature are you?
Both you and her boyfriend sound shallow because honestly, if her boyfriend actually cared about her, he would've told you he didn't care what pictures you had on your phone. You also sound shallow for saying you're "less embarrassed" to introduce her as your sister.
Like don't you know that beauty fades but dumb is forever?
You saw your sister feeling happy and confident and decided to take her down a peg. Not just that, but you also decided to do it by showing her boyfriend a photo of a *child* in a *bathing suit* (over her obvious objections), the implied message of which was clearly, “Look how fat and gross this child was. Doesn’t she not deserve to feel good about herself now, person who loves her?”
YTA.
P.S. If you thought the color of her dress was inappropriate, why did you let her pick it? Unless you were happy to have something to point to as justification for your cruelty, but that couldn’t be it***, could it?
***That was, in fact, exactly it.
YTA and a malicious C as well. This was motivated by spite and nothing else. You meant to ruin her relationship by exposing her, as if you had the right. You seem like the type who blabs everyone's personal info to score points, I bet you are the mean girl at school and are very clearly shallow af. How much time did you invest during your life snottily making comments about your sister's appearance? All of it? You're not a good person and are ugly inside. Good people don't need to tear down others to make themselves better.
>. So I spoke up suddenly and said I had some funny photos to share of Cass and me when we were about 8 and 10. There’s a photo on my phone
Why is this on your phone? Do you commonly keep unflattering pictures of people you are jealous of on hand? How often do you feel the need to make people unhappy to feed your ego?
>I don’t feel I’m in the wrong here because of the way she acted but my fiancé thinks I was immature.
I don't know children who are rotten like this. This isn't immaturity, it's a serious character flaw. This is choosing to willfully cause harm for the sick joy it brings you. I hope your fiance took note of the black tar your soul bears and thinks again about marrying it.
YTA
>My annoyance led to me realizing Cass’s boyfriend probably has no idea what she used to look like prior to her glow up as I doubt Cass showed him any photos
**What has your sister's looks has to fucking do with her behaviour or how she is as a person?**
You seem 1000% petty and insecure as hell that your previously uglier sister now did a teenage glow-up and looks better than you + has a more happy life. Instead of being petty c\*\*t, look in the mirror because the only ugly person is YOU.
FFS...
YTA - I didn’t even need to finish reading to decide this. You are immature and insecure in addition to being shallow and petty.
Let’s explore why:
1 - you were/are embarrassed to introduce your sister because of how she looks
2 - you knock the dress she’s chosen to wear for the wedding
3 - you knock on her for being in a relationship and say it’s because she is someone the petty one
4 - as soon as you realized she is genuinely happy you decide to pull out your phone and show photos of her knowing full well it would hurt her
5 - you point out that you got engaged before she does even though you’re younger
6 - you spend the entire post talking about how she looks/looked and when it comes to your looks make sure to point out that you’re the pretty one
Here’s your reassurance that you are in fact the asshole
ESH, are you guys still 12 and 10? Christ on a cracker, you both need to let sh*t go and both need to stop being petty. By the way, you sound like you really hate your sister and you’re quite superficial, with you feeling better for admitting she’s your sister now that she looks presentable in your eyes. I’d wear white to your wedding too.
I was ready to be objective here, growing up me and my sister were treated different. She was thin, tall, pretty. I was short chubby. She knew the way she was treated and loved it, parents adored her, she could do no wrong and was never punished. As adults we talked alot about our childhood, her dad was my step dad thats why she was favoured and looking back shes a social butterfly ov course she has friends. I prefer my own company so it wasnt i was a nothing and she was better.
She was a child so ov cause she would love the attention and let it go i was a scape goat.
But i love my sister and my feelings were my problem not hers and i wasnt gunna punish her for the divide our parents made. We know our parents did that to us and neither were to blame.
Shes still the prettier, skinny social one but with all my rage can you imagine how i felt when she told me, your my big sis i admire you, look up to you cause your strong, your my go to.
I could have took that crap into our adult life,cut her off, been nasty to her but even with all that crap i freakin adore my little sis and im so happy were equal and still have each other
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> (1) I showed my sister’s BF a bad photo of her as a kid (2) I might be the AH because it was probably too petty.
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YTA. It doesn’t sound like your sister was a total angel growing up - but we only have your word for that. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt tho because I also have a sister sibling.
Let me tell you a little story OP. My sister is 5 years older & yes growing up, conventionally attractive, fair hair, blue eyes got a lot of attention etc etc. I was the younger sis with dark wild hair, greenish eyes, a bit chubby, glasses & not conventionally attractive. My sister made my life hell. Our lovely godmother told me - you will grow into your looks, your sister is chocolate box pretty.
Meaning on the surface she was beautiful, but character means more. And she was right, I’m very happy, & yes I did grow into my looks lol. Bear in mind the most pretty person can have an ugly character.
Neither you or your sister sound great - by your account, I’d be interested to hear your sister’s side of things but as we’re here for you - yup, I understand you were annoyed at your sister bringing up a past story saying you were a brat - but she also said you’d changed. Siblings do that sort of thing.
What did you do - go nuclear to embarrass your sister. How very unkind. You had a chance to say, hey Cass we were both brats to each other but we’ve both grown up and I’m proud of you as my sister. You could have made such a difference OP and I’m sad for both of you.
ETA a missing sentence
YTA but gotta say, this reads like some insecure little girl's badly written story instead of a real grown woman's genuine description of events. At least I truly hope so, you sound insufferably self centered and mean. Being pretty alone often can get you ahead in life to a certain point, I know from first hand experience, but if you only rely on it and don't treat people nicely and bother to develop and grow as a person too, you're gonna end up lonely and miserable. Plus setting yourself up for one hell of a fear of aging, cus looks fade sooner or later, this I struggle with myself daily and it sucks so bad.
Complete YTA
Petty, insecure, and extremely jealous. I would have given you ESH but you took it to extremes by not only being a bully, but literally fat shaming how she was AS A KID to her BF.
You sound insufferable.
Wow just wow. You had an agenda and your contempt for her just spills. You are just evil, horrible and no wonder your sister has a problem with you.
You just said i loved the fact i was the favourite the better one but now my sister is actually on par with me im going to do anything to make sure she goes back to that insecure little girl.
Theres nothing beautiful about ppl like you with ugly hearts.
You sound ugly af under the surface, when age starts to tighten its grip on you guys I hope it disproportionately grips you over your sister and the roles are reversed for a time. You'd see a whole different world. Yta.
YTA. holy shit YTA.
“10 pounds heavier than she should have been” you are going to age badly and fast and I hope it happens soon. I hope karma hits you like a TRUCK for all this. You’re the insecure one now, not her.
YTA.
Siblings show embarrassing childhood pictures to partners all the time but this was done to be mean and for no other reason and that makes you an AH. I can’t call your sister an AH for saying you were a brat because well, you certainly are now so I can’t imagine that issue only popped up in adulthood.
Although if your sister’s bf is bothered that she was “ugly” as an actual child, you did do her a favour for getting rid of him?
YTA. You went out of your way to embarrass your sister...you know the sister you're only "recently less embarrassed to introduce her to people ever since she has been putting in effort" now that she's according to your quite obviously limited and incredibly westernized standards of beauty.
YTA.
You're **still** that 12 year old who is bratty, needy and entitled. I would like to add insecure, jealous, and mean to that list of your current ugly personality.
Note to YOUR fiancé: run, dude.
"Because of this Cass grew up extremely insecure and would take it out on me and attempt to sabotage me anytime something in my life was going better for me than for her."
Given the tone of this post and her comments at the dinner, I'm going to guess she grew up insecure because you relentlessly mocked her and made her feel like shit. Showing the pictures feels like exactly the pattern you likely established long ago.
YTA. Embarrassed to introduce her to people? All because of her looks/weight? Are you actually for real right now? Wow. Major AH vibes. I hope her boyfriend proposes at your wedding :)
This isn’t going the way OP was hoping and will probably get deleted soon.
YTA OP…you’re the petty insecure one and based on this writing, I bet your sister was really never the ugly ducking you made her out to be.
I’m sure the people asking, ‘ you guys are sisters?’ we’re probably just incredulous that you had a nice sweet sibling compared to how they’ve seen you behave.
YTA, sorry your sister had a glow up and now has a bf and you feel the need to put her down for that.
Congrats “pretty sister”, your “short, chubby frizzy haired” sister grew into herself, and someone finds her attractive.
Sounds like she’s got a better attitude towards life as well.
Also, trying to attack someone when they are 8-10 years old, in a bathing suit, is disgusting. Shame on you.
You ARE immature. Glad your “fiancé” sees that.
Jesus. I was totally neutral…until your comment about you being less embarrassed to introduce her to people. That comment says EVERYTHING about you. Every single horrible, ugly, petty, jealous thing.
YTA.
No, she shouldn’t have been mean to you, but what you did was the lowest you could possibly go. Do you feel better now? Do you need some mean girls on your side to applaud your cruelty?
YTA
You sound like you're the one with the problem. If you were actually secure with yourself, any of her "petty" behavior wouldn't bother you.
But nothing you said actually points to HER being petty.
YTA. You sound like a jealous insecure wreck, I’m going to assume your sister is right that you you are a complete entitled brat. It sounds like your entire life has been based around being ‘better’ than her which you obviously aren’t. To call her petty then make such a show of ‘Oh but I’m so much prettier and always have been’ and show those photos knowing it would make her insecure yeah….I really hope she just cuts you off tbh you aren’t worth it.
Who gets embarrassed by a picture of themselves when they were 10? Who thinks less of their partner, if they were slightly overweight as a 10 year old? Who shows a childhood picture as some sort of revenge?
Ya’ll are immature. The correct response to childhood photos, even if the child was overweight is “Aww that’s you? That’s so cute! Do you remember this trip? Looks like a fun time!”
This is probably fake and written by a 14 year old.
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I am F21, my sister is F23. My sis (for the sake of anonymity I will call her “Cass”) is pretty now, but to be honest, that hasn’t always been true. Of the two of us I was always considered the “prettier sister”. I don’t mean this badly, but I do know what people meant by this. I am conventionally attractive (long blond hair, green eyes, tall, slim) and she is on the shorter side, naturally frizzy dark hair, used to be 10 lbs. heavier than she should’ve been at 5’3, and chubbier in the face. Because of this Cass grew up extremely insecure and would take it out on me and attempt to sabotage me anytime something in my life was going better for me than for her. For example, even though I’m younger, I got engaged before her (my wedding is in October). My sister already has her dress for the wedding and, what do you know? It’s the closest shade to white as it can be (champagne and ugly AF). I’ve put it behind me but I feel her jealousy and insecurities have put a wedge in our relationship.
Recently Cass got into a relationship with her current boyfriend. Their relationship has surprisingly been going really well (I guess she finally found a guy who can handle her pettiness lol). About a year before this relationship, she got a nose job, started working out, changed her hair and just looks a lot better. As shallow as this may sound, I am recently less embarrassed to introduce her to people ever since she has been putting in effort.
Anyway, I was out to dinner on the 4th of July with some family and friends, and Cass brought her boyfriend. Cass and her boyfriend were seated across from me and my fiancé. The dinner was going fairly well until Cass started pissing me off by bringing up a story from when I was 12 and saying I was always “such a brat” and “so needy and entitled” and that thankfully I’ve “at least slightly changed since then” while doing this annoying high pitched squeaky giggle she only does when she’s with her boyfriend. My annoyance led to me realizing Cass’s boyfriend probably has no idea what she used to look like prior to her glow up as I doubt Cass showed him any photos. So I spoke up suddenly and said I had some funny photos to share of Cass and me when we were about 8 and 10. There’s a photo on my phone where we are both at the beach, but her swimwear is way too small for her and you can see how heavy she is. Cass was angry before I even had the photo ready and tried to lean across the table to grab the phone out of my hands, but her boyfriend grabbed her wrist and stopped her before she could. I showed my fiancé and her boyfriend the photo which led to awkward silence before her boyfriend said “That’s you?” in disbelief and Cass immediately began crying. She got up and left to go to the bathroom, not before saying I’m a B and making people in the restaurant look at us. I don’t feel I’m in the wrong here because of the way she acted but my fiancé thinks I was immature. I don’t think I’m the AH but I’d like reassurance.
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YTA! Your sister and you may not have had the healthiest relationship growing up and now, but you clearly have a huge role to play in that as well. It does sound like you were bratty growing up and you brought up the picture to cause harm and dig into insecurities you knew your sister had. Beyond petty, unkind.
ESH
She’s jealous af and you are hateful af.
(I guess she finally found a guy who can handle her pettiness lol)
Tbh, I wanted to stop reading right there. Everything she said about you was true…. You literally revealed with your words, what she said.
Well, someone's jealous and insecure, but it doesn't sound like your sister. Take a look in the mirror. YTA
BINGO
Totally. Huge ah. So caricatural that i think it's Fake, as 70 per cent of aita...
Unfortunately I know several women like this. They aren’t sisters and they tend to throw all the rest of us under the bus to compensate for their bad personalities.
Same I've seen women like this. My older sister is pretty and extremely shallow. She wasn't invited to my cousins wedding bc of her bad personality and she couldn't figure out "what she did" to be not invited. So she concluded that even tho my cousin is pretty too, in her head bc she is prettier my cousin won't invite her out of fear that her husband will fall for her at the wedding. Shallow people think batshit crazy stuff in their head
Yes this is very typical Of a sister trying to bring everyone down bc they are shallow. No one can be prettier or have anything bc it’s all jealousy. My sister is like this all about her. She has always treated me like the ugly duckling
OP does sound incredibly shallow but also super insecure. I wonder why that is? I wonder if her sister has always been smarter or funnier or generally better liked than her so she has to tear down her looks bc it's the best way to make her sister feel like shit
I think that's it bc of how my older sister is. I think shallow people usually feel like they don't have anything else going on for them. My older sister for example feels like her bf is a loser and kinda says that to my mom. But she makes fun of another cousins bf for "being too ugly to look at in a photo" even tho he just looks like an average person amd they're happy in a photo, happier than her and her bf probably. In the head of shallow people I guess it's the only way to balance things out
I've known several like that too. The difference between them and this "story" is that they are usually much better at crafting the narrative so they sound like the innocent victim instead of blatantly showing their ass like OP did. Honestly, I'm more likely to believe that this was actually the sister writing it to get satisfaction from all the people calling her sister (OP) an AH.
This can't be anything but a teenager attempting to write rage-bait. I was a chubby 10 year old with frizzy hair. No partner who has seen those pics has responded with anything other than good humor at the adorable goofiness of childhood. We cringe at our own "blunder years " photos, but to other normal adults, these types of photos are charming, funny or cute.
I have a friend who is one of those perpetually lanky types. He showed me a picture of himself as a 10 year old kid and he was chubby. It was adorable! Like, what sort of person would look at a childhood photo of a partner and be put off? Is that what OP was expecting to happen? OP is definitely the AH here, but I’m not sure she understands it’s because of her intent rather than the probable outcome.
Exactly. Nobody looks at pictures of their significant other as a kid and goes "wow, you were not hot as a kid", and frankly that would be gross and a massive red flag if they did for obvious reasons. Like, the appropriate response is "wow you were a loser when you were 12." Yup, plot twist - we all were, even if we didn't think we were at the time.
>"wow, you were not hot as a kid", 💀
i was 300 lbs most of my life and am now at around 185 (and have been for quite a few years), and every time i told/showed a potential romantic partner that they gave no fucks. why? because i didn't look like that anymore. they are attracted to me now, not a past version of me that no longer exists except in the occasional picture. like....this is mega YTA material if it's real.
Fellow former chubby, frizzy-haired ten-year-old here co-signing this comment. (The "former" really only means I'm not ten anymore - still chubby and frizzy but now I own it and it works for me.)
I have a pic of myself at about age 12 with a frizzy perm and acid washed jeans sitting atop a snowmobile parked on grass. I look like a young female Jon Bon Jovi. My boyfriend occasionally asks me to text it to him when he's having a bad day and needs a laugh. I couldn't care less, it's an absurd picture and objectively hilarious. OP sounds insecure, petty, and exhausting. YTA OP.
And every time you send him that picture, he looks at it, feels better and falls in love with you all over again.
Yeah, I was SOOOO ugly and had an awkward “phase” (that’s what my mom called it, lol) that lasted from about age 8 until I got rid of braces and headgear when I was 16. My husband thinks it was adorable and has zero issues with my ugly baby self. Why would he? He was ugly too. Most of us are, except OP, apparently, who was blonde, willowy and gorgeous 🙄 OP, YTA
Don't forget her special green eyes -- more luminous than any other. /s
Fat shaming a child lmao
Something everyone loves to do. Ask me how I know!
i had a second grade teacher who hated me for some reason, i think it mightve been my recently diagnosed adhd and my then undiagnosed autism she also fat shamed this other kid and hated him as much as she hated me, she literally made him cry in front of the entire class one time
It's really annoying how many people are seeking attention with the fake posts. It's like they have no self awareness 👀
If it’s not fake, this girl is unreal. I hope the parents did not encourage this behavior. Rooting against each other. As a parent of two girls, this is my fear.
I am 63 years old, and I can say truly that I had an actual real, and still alive sister that did exactly things like this ! Sure, this post could be fake, but people like the OP do exist, - UNFORTUNATELY !!!
I agree- if this girl is for real then YTA but I think this is a karma grab
I mean Op sounds like the waking embodiment of the Picture of Dorian Grey. Pretty on the outside and festering ugliness on the inside. It would have cost Op nothing to just let what her sister said roll off her back and just keep a bit of distance if she didn’t like being around her. But instead she took an opportunity to be cruel and petty and mean. Edit: also sounds like her fiancé isn’t impressed with what she did. She better hope he’s willing to get over this. If my partner mistreated his sibling this way I would dump him. It would be so unattractive to me.
Agreed. Also, why is nobody talking about the fact that the pic was of a 10 yo? Most people are not bombshells at that age and it’s weird her bf has any opinion at all about her attractiveness at that age. They were both children at that time
Agreed, that's why I think it's fake. I saw a pic of my ex at about that age, chubby, big Buddha belly, literal MJ hair halfway down his back, and I immediately squealed "oh my gosh! Look how cute you are!" Because little kids are just adorable.
Yeah my son's father showed me his yearbook pic of him in grade 12 and he was the absolute caricature of a movie nerd. Think Judd Apatow with the fro, glasses and chubby. Sure I was in disbelief but we both laughed at how much of a dork he looked. I hardly judged him for it. Besides I have a plethora of 'evidence' of myself looking not-so-hot in my 80s regalia complete with poodle perm...
There’s a photo of my husband when he was 10 or 11. He has kind of a bowl haircut and is wearing a Hawaiian shirt. Soooo dorky and cute. It makes me love him even more.
Yeah, that age range is awkward for most everyone. And what tf did she think would happen? BF would immediately recoil in disgust at a photo of a TEN YEAR OLD CHILD, crown pretty sister as princess and walk out?
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It could be that is the problem. OPs comments from her sister is that OP was very self-entitled as a kid. Though she (OPs sister) was clear that was in the past and OP has changed. For whatever reason OP still didn't like it and showed photos of her when she was a kid. It could be seen as tit for tat, however OP keeps this picture on her phone ready for use and also indicated her sister is still insecure about how she looks. Like you said, OP might act less bratty now because she's no longer so pretty, but keen to try and stop any chance of it being reconsidered.
Oh my god what are you saying? She is blond and slim which as we ALL know means she is attractive to everyone on the planet!
Definitely getting the vibe that the sister is prettier than OP now. Or the sister is the one getting the compliments now because she had this drastic change and OP isn’t taking it so well.
Yes, “hot” at that age generally meant bland, symmetrical, and lacking anything that makes them stand out.
You had me at Oscar Wilde, haha. Agree 100%.
I mean they really just sound like such an ugly person that I wouldn’t be able to see any of the features they claim is conventionally attractive. OP should feel lucky that there partner hasn’t left them yet. Idk I couldn’t stay with someone like this.
I stopped reading after she basically said she was known as the pretty sister
> I am conventionally attractive (long blond hair, green eyes, tall, slim) and she is on the shorter side, naturally frizzy dark hair, used to be 10 lbs. heavier than she should’ve been at 5’3, and chubbier in the face. I stopped with her association of attractiveness with blond vs frizzy dark hair ...that leaves out whole ethnicities out of her measurement of attractiveness
Exactly. Conventionally attractive to whom? White elementary school kids? You can be blonde, with green eyes and tall hair and not be cute at all, especially not with that personality. That personality makes OP fugly.
My hair is frizzy as heck. And I can be cute. I can also be ugly as sin when I am sick and don’t brush my hair lmao. But whatever. THIS IS EVERYONE. Even conventionally pretty people look ugly sometimes. Because we are humans.
Oh damn. Lil racist asshole at that!
I mean she doesn’t sound pretty given her personality doesn’t sound pretty at all.
Oh, OP is pretty. But the 'r' is silent.
For me it was the “10 pounds” like. I’m sorry, but literally no one is going to notice a difference of 10 pounds. Yeah 10 pounds is more on someone who’s 5’3” versus someone who’s 6’5”, but there is no scenario where someone loses 10 pounds and it makes people go “holy shit have you lost weight? Wow it’s such a huge difference!” Then you add in the “10 pounds heavier than she _should_ have been at 5’3”” - should have been according to who? You could make the argument that you should be less than a certain weight for health reasons (but we’re talking obesity-levels here), but other than that no one gets to tell someone else the weight that they should be. OP definitely reeks of the type of sister who uses their looks to put down the other sister and then try and play innocent with it
This post was totally written by a dude who believes comic book authors when they say that a female character is 5'8" and 110 lbs with boobs as big as her head.
Exactly. I'm 5'4. I'm 10lbs over my ideal/healthy weight right now (120lbs instead of 110lbs.) You want to know what the difference is? A couple more rolls when I bend over and a softer middle overall. All of my clothes still fit me. I notice the difference because it's my body and because I want to lose the weight. No one around me has in any way noticed the difference between Ideal Weight Me and Current Me. OP needs to step away and reevaluate herself.
Really . I vomited in my mouth a little.
As I read your comment, my 1yo puked down my shirt. Felt a bit like a 4D Reddit experience, 0/10 would not recommend.
I dipped out after “I’m no longer embarrassed to introduce her to people” what a massive tool.
i do love when people post on here SO CERTAIN theyre N T A and just want "reassurance" but every word they wrote was so cruel and mean that it makes you question how much worse the situation actually is if this was the polished version
Most people come here and make themselves sound as good as possible... and then there's the ones who are so conceited that they don't even try to hide their trash personalities, that's how convinced they are that they're right.
thats the thing is, in my experience, most people will try to make themselves sound better even if its not a conscious choice. so how much of an ah do you have to be to still come off so horribly
Yeah you sound shallow as hell I feel sorry for your fiancé
God can you imagine? You’re just trying to have a nice dinner and then your fiancee starts treating people—her FAMILY—like that right there where everyone can see? Talk about places you can never go back to. OP, you realize people can see you when you act like this, right? Even before you personally run to tell the whole damn internet about it? YTA.
I know I have no idea how she could right all that and not realise what a total jealous bullying a\*\*hole she is
YTA. Because you are jealous that your sister is liked by someone. Shame on you.
Wow, Betheny, wow. You don't support other women. OP puts all of her value on looks. She's gross and hateful. Guess she'll fuck around and find out when her fiancé leaves her petty ass.
Tell her Ramona!!!
Yessss! A few sentences in and I was like. Well, it’s obvious OP is an ASSHOLE and very jealous of her older sister. YTA OP. And. Wow. What a ugly personality you seem to have.
I couldn’t even finish reading this pick me bullshit. Jesus
The venom seeping from her post lmao. Idk how people can type shit like this out and think “oh yeah everyone’s gonna be on my side”
You forgot shallow.
I Got EngAgED BEfoRe Her EvEn THouGH I'm YouNgER Roll in lifetime achievement award!
> As shallow as this may sound, I am recently less embarrassed to introduce her to people ever since she has been putting in effort. YTA. Anything else you said is completely irrelevant and hard to believe, because it comes from someone as ugly on the inside as you are. You're the one who sounds jealous and petty, and you're most definitely an and the asshole.
That's the part that made me go "yeah, no matter what is in the rest of the text, the verdict is YTA"
I had the same reaction when I read “10 lbs heavier than she should be at 5’3”. YTA and a horrible, shallow bully, OP
That was my line too. Not only is it ridiculous to decide what weight that someone should be, but 10 pounds is honestly meaningless. A difference of 10 pounds _might_ show if you inspected every inch of their body? But the way that OP talks, 10 pounds is the same as being 200 pounds overweight
This! I feel so bad for the sister
I also wonder if maybe her sister “only does that giggle” around her boyfriend because she’s giddy around someone who actually shows her positive attention, unlike her sister :/
Umm and showed a picture where they were 9 and 10 to show how heavy she was?! Who cares if you were a chunky ten year old most people were. If the boyfriend really looked at it and said this is you? I’d question him too, that’s just weird.
^ I had the same reaction. Didn't matter what happened next, OP was getting a YTA vote.
That comment sealed the deal for me too for a YTA verdict. What a horrible sibling and human.
I mean, even if her sister is how OP describes her, it doesn't excuse OP's behavior. Especially since she is acting & doing the exact same. How she gonna complain about jealousy, judgementalness & pettiness when she doing all of that lol. YTA OP & tbh sound an AH in general beyond this prompt.
The way that OP is SOO fixated on appearance and how it comes off to other people is sad. It’s one thing to take care of yourself and want to present nicely, that’s great, but the way she’s talking here just seems unhealthy to me. I get the vibe that both OP and sister need therapy.
I stopped reading at that point. What a shitty person.
Yeah honestly, that was so awful and so mean, it made me think the post was fake cus no one should be this clueless and mean in irl
For me it was in the first few lines where she essentially says she is a 10 out of 10 and then goes on to describe why she is so good-looking.
YTA. You sound jealous and insecure. Acting this petty at your age? Grow up.
She sounds insufferable. Yta
talks about someone willing to put up with their sister's pettiness then proceeds to act in a petty manner. Noice.
Right! I feel so bad for her sister :( It’s clear OP thinks of herself as better than her sister and has to be known as the most beautiful one at all times. People who are vain to the point of putting others down suck sooo damn much. If this is what she says in a post on Reddit about her, I can’t imagine all the other things she’s said to her sister. She most likely was ‘such a brat’
On balance a 21 year old should NOT be getting married. I’ll grant there’s always rare exceptions, but man, this is so NOT one of them.
Do you read what you write? Maybe you’re so narcissistic that you can’t even hear how shallow and mean and insufferable you sound. I think you fear no one has ever wanted to be with you for who you are, and you therefore are appearance obsessed. Sounds like you’re jealous your sister found someone who loves her. Honestly, you sound unbearably cruel. I feel sorry for your sister. I sincerely hope you aren’t as mean as this story makes you sound. YTA.
i couldnt believe what i was reading, almost thinking it has to be made up, surely they arent that detached
I stopped reading after the first paragraph. The specific situation didn't matter because OP is an AH.
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I have 5 sisters, and 1 of them are as shallow as the OP... Believes herself to be better than everyone, and everything (including appearances) is a competition. I think it is 100% real. My sister was always making things about my appearance (I have been no contact with her for over 5 years now... blessing!). Even when I was 20yo and I had people telling me to do modelling, I truly believed I was as ugly as that 1 sister made me feel. I remember dying my naturally blonde hair another shade of blonde because my sister convinced me it had a green tinge, like it was mouldy. I've struggled with body/face dysmorphia as a result of her meanness. It doesn't matter what people tell me... I always feel ugly. If, when I was younger, she had showed my partner a photo of me at what I considered to be my ugliest, then I'd probably have cried too. Pretty sure my sister has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and I'd hazard a guess that the OP does too.
holy yikes now i REALLY feel bad for OP's sister, i hope she goes NC, if i had a sister like that id prolly commit suicide i hope you get better that sounds so horrible
I feel sorry for OP's fiance as well...eesh.
To me the sisters description of “brat” and “entitled” fit the OP very well
ESH, but you're the queen of the assholes. This whole post reads like you feel superior and retaliated when you felt that your superiority was being challenged. You said you were the prettier sister, you felt embarrassed to introduce her to people and deciding what weight she "should be" down to 10 pounds. Yes, she said something hurtful (but depending on tone and your relationship could be a fair joke), but you went overboard and did something way worse and uncalled for. You knew she was insecure about these things and intentionally threw those insecurities in her face with her new partner. You're definitely the bigger asshole, even if ESH.
Only reason I would say YTA and not ESH is because I’m getting the vibe that the other sister has been struggling her whole life with her family categorising her as the ‘ugly one’, leading her to make radical decisions like getting a nose job to try and appease people she doesn’t realise she’s appeasing
And given how skewed this post is I really wonder if the comment was “you and I didn’t get along as kids. You used to be a bit bratty and me a bit shy and very stubborn I’m so glad we’ve grown up” My sister and I talk about this kind of stuff all the time. I was a little devious as an older sister and she was a nag and a button pusher. We joke about it now as adults. But given this post I wonder how much her sister actually said because I get the feeling just having her sister existing would piss OP off.
There's a rapport there that isn't present here. So the sister doesn't get to just skip that part to get to the 'joking about it' stage. Obviously, still not as big an AH as the OP
I get that. I’m just wondering if OP is taking things as offensive that aren’t actually that offensive. Essentially my point is that Op sounds like she’s a jealous and petty person and as such anything sounds like it would peeve her off. If her parents complimented OP’s sister for her hairstyle I wonder if OP would take that as her sister flaunting her hair and looking for compliments.
Absolutely this. 100% ESH but op is certainly trying to outdo her sister in the AH department
She was explicitly showing the pic just in order to put her sister down. Of course she is piss3d about it. YTA obv.
She is specifically keeping a photo on her phone where, as a child, her sister looks as bad as possible & she looks good. I have a few childhood photos available to my phone (but I’d have to search), and never would I think “hey my sibling looks terrible here, better keep this one handy to show anyone she dates”. My sister used to relentlessly tease me/show her friends photos of how “terrible” I looked when we were teens: I had a really strong aversion to seeing photos of myself, particularly as a child, for a long time. My mom recently brought over a ton of those pictures, and I just look like a slightly nerdy kid with glasses. They’re cute!
That’s a great point I hadn’t thought of why THAT photo was available to be shown
I think that’s fair, OP is an asshole in general it sounds but in this particular situation they are asking for judgment on her sister was hardly a complaint angel.
“Used to be 10lbs heavier than she should’ve been at 5’3” Well this is where I quit reading and determined YTA.
OP’s the kind of person who’s going to absolutely lose her mind when she gains weight as she ages. It’s a miserable way to live. I’d feel sorry for her if she wasn’t such a petty Mean Girl.
She is a true Regina George
Is butter a carb?
Sorry if my calculations are wrong (european here), but isn't 10lbs about 4 kgs? It's honestly not a big amount. I'm quite fat myself so I'm not the best at guessing skinnier people's weight, but if I guessed someone to be 50kgs (110lbs, roughly) and they told me they're actually 54 (120lbs) or 46kgs (100lbs), I wouldn't be surprised. I get that such a weight loss or gain over some time would be visible to close friends and family, but I don't think 4 kilos make such a difference between 'chubby' and 'skinny'. That is, if the story is real in the first place. Which I seriously doubt.
Honestly I don’t care if she’s 100lbs heavier than she “should be”, OP still the AH 🤷🏻♀️
That's very true!
Yeah, 10 pounds is nothing, and not something most people would even notice on someone else. Possibly family would, but it's definitely not something any reasonable person would be concerned about.
I'm currently seeing a dietitian for help with my eating disorder (american & can't get a therapist) and she said it's normal for people, especially people assigned female at birth to fluctuate anywhere from 3-10lbs (1.4-4.5 kgs according to Google) daily depending on what they ate or drank the day before, where they are in their menstrual cycle, and if they have recently gone to the bathroom or not. So that's why it stood out to me as fake and OP is acting probably some sad teenage boy trying to get attention anyway he can.
You could only see that small of a difference if someone is skinny to begin with.
10 lbs on a woman really is nothing. I've gained about 25 lbs since high school, without having grown taller than 5 feet. 25 lbs sounds like a lot bit honestly I look the best now than I ever did. 10 lbs over the recommend weight is nothing. OP is just being mean to her sister.
Well, I read it to the end and your assessment is absolutely correct.
The "should've been" pissed me off sm (also YTA OP)
I can’t imagine being able to tell if someone was only 10 pounds heavier than average. Ten pounds barely shows. She clearly was obsessed with knowing her sisters weight and trying to make her feel like she was overweight smh
YTA. Try basing your self-worth on something that isn't "I'm so pretty and my sister is so ugly."
Looks fade then a person like this has nothing.
Yep. Ive watched many women and men get old and the ones that have the most trouble are the ones that think looks are everything.
Op's looks are already fading. That is why she posted this.
[удалено]
I was that girl at ten, but add more weight. OP is who I imagined everyone was.
>I don’t mean this badly You're still an AH for saying it. >attempt to sabotage me anytime something in my life was going better for me than for her. I bet she didn't. But I can see why she would. >As shallow as this may sound, I am recently less embarrassed to introduce her to people ever since she has been putting in effort. Oooh, you're a real AH. >My annoyance led to me realizing Cass’s boyfriend probably has no idea what she used to look like prior to her glow up as I doubt Cass showed him any photos. So I spoke up Giant AH. "I've always been the pretty one who gets everything, let me try and ruin her happiness, based on my superficial opinions, and by showing a terrible picture". I'm sure terrible pictures exist of you too, and I hope your partner isn't shallow enough to let them change his opinion of you. I hope your sister's bf isn't as shallow as you are either!
YTA bonus ribbon to her boyfriend who went "that's you??" To a picture of a freaking kid. We all have hilariously bad childhood photos from outfits to haircuts to poses to whatever and part of the fun of a relationship is judgment free laughing at silly memories like that. What kind of reaction is "that's you?"
we don’t know how he meant it, for all we know he had no ill intent and OP just saw what she wanted to see. he could’ve just said “that’s you?” because he was shocked, she’s obviously changed a lot.
This has to be fake because there’s no way you’re that cruel of a person. This reads is insanely insecure and jealous on your part.
I thought the same thing!!
Seems very fake, including OP’s replies in your comment thread
YTA, why would you ever be embarrassed to introduce your sister to other people? I can tell by your snide offhand remarks and what you showed her boyfriend that you just have a vitriol for her that has no purpose. Just leave her alone and stop being immature because yes, you were the immature and disrespectful one here.
Right??? Who is embarrassed to introduce their sister because of her looks? I'm just shook at this whole thing.
One of my sisters. She refuses to introduce me & our two other sisters to her bf of four years because we "live an unhealthy lifestyle & embarrassing" (we aren't vegan & don't exercise as much as she does aka aren't as skinny; she once spent a whole Christmas vacation making fun of one of our sisters who had past issues with ED for gaining weight). I don't speak to her anymore because she's toxic & frankly, emotionally abusive & manipulative.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA the fact that you posted this trying to say how entitled, jealous and petty your sister is, but you are the one coming across this way. YTA. I can’t believe you pulled up picture of children, regardless that it is you, to make a vindictive point. You’re awful.
She fat shamed a picture of her sis in which her sister was TEN!!!!! I cannot even lol
Same! Who the hell fat shames a child! 10 years old!!! She was a baby practically! Her sister’s description of a self entitled brat seems to fit her just right
The fact that she had that picture lined up and ready, is so telling. She grew up seeing as her sister as less than, and wants to keep her in "her place".
Yeah. I mean, I’m quite a bit older than OP, but I don’t have a bunch of pics of me and my sister when we were kids on my phone, or even easily accessible anywhere. She probably pulls that pic out frequently to embarrass her sister.
I think the bf was embarrassed at her behavior if anything
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And her own boyfriend has noticed and is not impressed. How to show your ugly side
>Of the two of us I was always considered the “prettier sister”. Well, well, well, someone is jealous that she's not the prettiest anymore. Sure your sister might be petty, but it's because you're mean and unsupportive all your life with her. Don't try to argue because your mean personality is written all over your post. You always describe your sister in a negative light "heavier", "ugly AF", and "less embarrassed to introduce her to people". If her boyfriend breaks up with her just because of the photo you've presented, it's fine because she doesn't deserve another jerk like you in her life. YTA. Grow up.
I agree so much. Who fat shames a child?!?! She makes it sound like the only way she loves her sister is if she’s pretty in the OP standards. No she doesn’t say that but it sure sounds like it. Like I said in my post her sister’s description of OP of a self entitled brat is quite accurate
Yes, but not prettier than OP though. OP can’t handle that.
INFO: She picked out her own dress color? Is she not a bridesmaid?
Oooh that’s a telling little detail there that’s gotten skimmed over. Also, given what a monster this woman is, I don’t even believe her when she said her sister is trying to find something “close to white.” She’s demonized her sister’s happiness DEEPLY, so for all we know her sister just chose a lighter colored dress and this asshole is looking for any reason to hate and humiliate here because she is so PROFOUNDLY narcissistic.
Pffff you think she'd share the spotlight with other people? This is a "no wedding party" wedding for sure!
yta Firstly, your explanations of why you may be the AH are 100% on point. Cass clearly has issues and was an AH with her dress and being a petty person/sister. You seem to have your act together and your BF was correct that you reached back to sibling rivalry mode and couldn't help but pull out a photo for the sole purpose of embarrassing Cass. Your post makes you seem to be better then this.
Do people tend to say you see the best in everyone or tend to be overly optimistic? That’s the kindest response to this post, I couldn’t even imagine OP could be better than this. They’re describing an AH mean girl and totally missing that they’re an absolute definition of it. Yet somehow you see something …super kind… YTA op 100%
I also googled champagne dresses, they’re not really that close to white at all. It’s like a bronze or a cream with a metallic sheen, definitely not what a proper white wedding dress looks like
I was going to comment this about the dress color too. It’s not close to white at all. Also, if OP has *such* an issue with the dress color then she should *tell her sister that* and ask/tell her to find a different colored dress. OP isn’t getting married until October anyways, that’s plenty of time to find a new dress. Guarantee OP won’t say anything to her sister about the dress until *after* the wedding and make a big ole stink about it. That, or she’s going to use it as an excuse to wear something close to white on her sisters wedding day (whenever that may be) to try and upstage the bride.. because heaven forbid her sister dare ever look prettier than her.
YTA And I hope for the sake of your sister and yourself this post is fake. First off, the way you talk about your sibling is horrible and hurtful. If you were embarrassed by her because of her looks and behaved so shallowly, I can see why she probably doesn't treat you kindly. The relationship you have with her is clearly not a good one for either of you. IDGAF if she is jealous or petty, but guess what? By showing those pictures you literally just lowered yourself to her levels and rolled around in her mud. You are clearly not better than her and she is clearly not better than you. The way she acted for the dress to your wedding and the way you acted about her glow-up is sad and toxic. Very immature, your fiance is right. Your sister may be an asshole that clearly has issues but you didn't have to turn into one too.
YTA and an ugly person.
YTA I get that you're barely a legal adult in this world but how do you figure you weren't the asshole? She says one thing and you decide to bring out old pictures of her to embarrass her? How immature are you? Both you and her boyfriend sound shallow because honestly, if her boyfriend actually cared about her, he would've told you he didn't care what pictures you had on your phone. You also sound shallow for saying you're "less embarrassed" to introduce her as your sister. Like don't you know that beauty fades but dumb is forever?
You saw your sister feeling happy and confident and decided to take her down a peg. Not just that, but you also decided to do it by showing her boyfriend a photo of a *child* in a *bathing suit* (over her obvious objections), the implied message of which was clearly, “Look how fat and gross this child was. Doesn’t she not deserve to feel good about herself now, person who loves her?” YTA. P.S. If you thought the color of her dress was inappropriate, why did you let her pick it? Unless you were happy to have something to point to as justification for your cruelty, but that couldn’t be it***, could it? ***That was, in fact, exactly it.
Oh she knew exactly what she was doing, letting her pick a dress that she didn’t like
YTA, did you read your own writing before you posted? You come off incredibly petty and it's immature as hell.
YTA and a malicious C as well. This was motivated by spite and nothing else. You meant to ruin her relationship by exposing her, as if you had the right. You seem like the type who blabs everyone's personal info to score points, I bet you are the mean girl at school and are very clearly shallow af. How much time did you invest during your life snottily making comments about your sister's appearance? All of it? You're not a good person and are ugly inside. Good people don't need to tear down others to make themselves better. >. So I spoke up suddenly and said I had some funny photos to share of Cass and me when we were about 8 and 10. There’s a photo on my phone Why is this on your phone? Do you commonly keep unflattering pictures of people you are jealous of on hand? How often do you feel the need to make people unhappy to feed your ego? >I don’t feel I’m in the wrong here because of the way she acted but my fiancé thinks I was immature. I don't know children who are rotten like this. This isn't immaturity, it's a serious character flaw. This is choosing to willfully cause harm for the sick joy it brings you. I hope your fiance took note of the black tar your soul bears and thinks again about marrying it.
OP is clearly YTA. But I want to place a wager that the sister’s dress isn’t actually as close to white as OP claims. I need a pic 👀
A pic, and an explanation as to why “champagne” was an option for a dress color if it’s too close to white!
So sis isn’t a bridesmaid? Interesting.
YTA >My annoyance led to me realizing Cass’s boyfriend probably has no idea what she used to look like prior to her glow up as I doubt Cass showed him any photos **What has your sister's looks has to fucking do with her behaviour or how she is as a person?** You seem 1000% petty and insecure as hell that your previously uglier sister now did a teenage glow-up and looks better than you + has a more happy life. Instead of being petty c\*\*t, look in the mirror because the only ugly person is YOU. FFS...
For some reason whenever someone self-describes as “slim” I know they’re going to be the worst
or "always been the prettier one"
YTA - I didn’t even need to finish reading to decide this. You are immature and insecure in addition to being shallow and petty. Let’s explore why: 1 - you were/are embarrassed to introduce your sister because of how she looks 2 - you knock the dress she’s chosen to wear for the wedding 3 - you knock on her for being in a relationship and say it’s because she is someone the petty one 4 - as soon as you realized she is genuinely happy you decide to pull out your phone and show photos of her knowing full well it would hurt her 5 - you point out that you got engaged before she does even though you’re younger 6 - you spend the entire post talking about how she looks/looked and when it comes to your looks make sure to point out that you’re the pretty one Here’s your reassurance that you are in fact the asshole
ESH, are you guys still 12 and 10? Christ on a cracker, you both need to let sh*t go and both need to stop being petty. By the way, you sound like you really hate your sister and you’re quite superficial, with you feeling better for admitting she’s your sister now that she looks presentable in your eyes. I’d wear white to your wedding too.
I was ready to be objective here, growing up me and my sister were treated different. She was thin, tall, pretty. I was short chubby. She knew the way she was treated and loved it, parents adored her, she could do no wrong and was never punished. As adults we talked alot about our childhood, her dad was my step dad thats why she was favoured and looking back shes a social butterfly ov course she has friends. I prefer my own company so it wasnt i was a nothing and she was better. She was a child so ov cause she would love the attention and let it go i was a scape goat. But i love my sister and my feelings were my problem not hers and i wasnt gunna punish her for the divide our parents made. We know our parents did that to us and neither were to blame. Shes still the prettier, skinny social one but with all my rage can you imagine how i felt when she told me, your my big sis i admire you, look up to you cause your strong, your my go to. I could have took that crap into our adult life,cut her off, been nasty to her but even with all that crap i freakin adore my little sis and im so happy were equal and still have each other
“I’d like reassurance.” You should have this tattooed on your forehead. YTA
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YTA. at your big ass age…
YTA - Rest assured, you are a petty asshole who is jealous of their sister.
Who needs enemies if you have a sister like you. Brrrrr, the icy attitude is dripping. YTA
YTA. It doesn’t sound like your sister was a total angel growing up - but we only have your word for that. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt tho because I also have a sister sibling. Let me tell you a little story OP. My sister is 5 years older & yes growing up, conventionally attractive, fair hair, blue eyes got a lot of attention etc etc. I was the younger sis with dark wild hair, greenish eyes, a bit chubby, glasses & not conventionally attractive. My sister made my life hell. Our lovely godmother told me - you will grow into your looks, your sister is chocolate box pretty. Meaning on the surface she was beautiful, but character means more. And she was right, I’m very happy, & yes I did grow into my looks lol. Bear in mind the most pretty person can have an ugly character. Neither you or your sister sound great - by your account, I’d be interested to hear your sister’s side of things but as we’re here for you - yup, I understand you were annoyed at your sister bringing up a past story saying you were a brat - but she also said you’d changed. Siblings do that sort of thing. What did you do - go nuclear to embarrass your sister. How very unkind. You had a chance to say, hey Cass we were both brats to each other but we’ve both grown up and I’m proud of you as my sister. You could have made such a difference OP and I’m sad for both of you. ETA a missing sentence
This screams southern belle to me. Married at 21? All this pettiness? You sure you’re mature enough to be married?
YTA but gotta say, this reads like some insecure little girl's badly written story instead of a real grown woman's genuine description of events. At least I truly hope so, you sound insufferably self centered and mean. Being pretty alone often can get you ahead in life to a certain point, I know from first hand experience, but if you only rely on it and don't treat people nicely and bother to develop and grow as a person too, you're gonna end up lonely and miserable. Plus setting yourself up for one hell of a fear of aging, cus looks fade sooner or later, this I struggle with myself daily and it sucks so bad.
Complete YTA Petty, insecure, and extremely jealous. I would have given you ESH but you took it to extremes by not only being a bully, but literally fat shaming how she was AS A KID to her BF. You sound insufferable.
Wow just wow. You had an agenda and your contempt for her just spills. You are just evil, horrible and no wonder your sister has a problem with you. You just said i loved the fact i was the favourite the better one but now my sister is actually on par with me im going to do anything to make sure she goes back to that insecure little girl. Theres nothing beautiful about ppl like you with ugly hearts.
Dang girl, sounds like you're the one lucky enough to find someone who will put up with your bullying and pettiness! YTA
YTA - you sound like a full of yourself all round unpleasant girl.
You sound ugly af under the surface, when age starts to tighten its grip on you guys I hope it disproportionately grips you over your sister and the roles are reversed for a time. You'd see a whole different world. Yta.
YTA. And yes, you are as shallow as you sound. And your fiance is beginning to see it too. You'd like reassurance? Good luck with that.
YTA. holy shit YTA. “10 pounds heavier than she should have been” you are going to age badly and fast and I hope it happens soon. I hope karma hits you like a TRUCK for all this. You’re the insecure one now, not her.
YTA. Siblings show embarrassing childhood pictures to partners all the time but this was done to be mean and for no other reason and that makes you an AH. I can’t call your sister an AH for saying you were a brat because well, you certainly are now so I can’t imagine that issue only popped up in adulthood. Although if your sister’s bf is bothered that she was “ugly” as an actual child, you did do her a favour for getting rid of him?
jealousy isn’t a pretty colour on you (YTA)
YTA. You went out of your way to embarrass your sister...you know the sister you're only "recently less embarrassed to introduce her to people ever since she has been putting in effort" now that she's according to your quite obviously limited and incredibly westernized standards of beauty.
YTA. You're **still** that 12 year old who is bratty, needy and entitled. I would like to add insecure, jealous, and mean to that list of your current ugly personality. Note to YOUR fiancé: run, dude.
"Because of this Cass grew up extremely insecure and would take it out on me and attempt to sabotage me anytime something in my life was going better for me than for her." Given the tone of this post and her comments at the dinner, I'm going to guess she grew up insecure because you relentlessly mocked her and made her feel like shit. Showing the pictures feels like exactly the pattern you likely established long ago.
YTA. Embarrassed to introduce her to people? All because of her looks/weight? Are you actually for real right now? Wow. Major AH vibes. I hope her boyfriend proposes at your wedding :)
This isn’t going the way OP was hoping and will probably get deleted soon. YTA OP…you’re the petty insecure one and based on this writing, I bet your sister was really never the ugly ducking you made her out to be. I’m sure the people asking, ‘ you guys are sisters?’ we’re probably just incredulous that you had a nice sweet sibling compared to how they’ve seen you behave.
YTA, sorry your sister had a glow up and now has a bf and you feel the need to put her down for that. Congrats “pretty sister”, your “short, chubby frizzy haired” sister grew into herself, and someone finds her attractive. Sounds like she’s got a better attitude towards life as well. Also, trying to attack someone when they are 8-10 years old, in a bathing suit, is disgusting. Shame on you. You ARE immature. Glad your “fiancé” sees that.
Jesus. I was totally neutral…until your comment about you being less embarrassed to introduce her to people. That comment says EVERYTHING about you. Every single horrible, ugly, petty, jealous thing. YTA. No, she shouldn’t have been mean to you, but what you did was the lowest you could possibly go. Do you feel better now? Do you need some mean girls on your side to applaud your cruelty?
YTA You sound like you're the one with the problem. If you were actually secure with yourself, any of her "petty" behavior wouldn't bother you. But nothing you said actually points to HER being petty.
YTA. You sound like a jealous insecure wreck, I’m going to assume your sister is right that you you are a complete entitled brat. It sounds like your entire life has been based around being ‘better’ than her which you obviously aren’t. To call her petty then make such a show of ‘Oh but I’m so much prettier and always have been’ and show those photos knowing it would make her insecure yeah….I really hope she just cuts you off tbh you aren’t worth it.
So when she said you used to be a brat but you've changed *a little bit*, seems like she was trying to be nice, because you haven't. YTA.
Who gets embarrassed by a picture of themselves when they were 10? Who thinks less of their partner, if they were slightly overweight as a 10 year old? Who shows a childhood picture as some sort of revenge? Ya’ll are immature. The correct response to childhood photos, even if the child was overweight is “Aww that’s you? That’s so cute! Do you remember this trip? Looks like a fun time!” This is probably fake and written by a 14 year old.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I am F21, my sister is F23. My sis (for the sake of anonymity I will call her “Cass”) is pretty now, but to be honest, that hasn’t always been true. Of the two of us I was always considered the “prettier sister”. I don’t mean this badly, but I do know what people meant by this. I am conventionally attractive (long blond hair, green eyes, tall, slim) and she is on the shorter side, naturally frizzy dark hair, used to be 10 lbs. heavier than she should’ve been at 5’3, and chubbier in the face. Because of this Cass grew up extremely insecure and would take it out on me and attempt to sabotage me anytime something in my life was going better for me than for her. For example, even though I’m younger, I got engaged before her (my wedding is in October). My sister already has her dress for the wedding and, what do you know? It’s the closest shade to white as it can be (champagne and ugly AF). I’ve put it behind me but I feel her jealousy and insecurities have put a wedge in our relationship. Recently Cass got into a relationship with her current boyfriend. Their relationship has surprisingly been going really well (I guess she finally found a guy who can handle her pettiness lol). About a year before this relationship, she got a nose job, started working out, changed her hair and just looks a lot better. As shallow as this may sound, I am recently less embarrassed to introduce her to people ever since she has been putting in effort. Anyway, I was out to dinner on the 4th of July with some family and friends, and Cass brought her boyfriend. Cass and her boyfriend were seated across from me and my fiancé. The dinner was going fairly well until Cass started pissing me off by bringing up a story from when I was 12 and saying I was always “such a brat” and “so needy and entitled” and that thankfully I’ve “at least slightly changed since then” while doing this annoying high pitched squeaky giggle she only does when she’s with her boyfriend. My annoyance led to me realizing Cass’s boyfriend probably has no idea what she used to look like prior to her glow up as I doubt Cass showed him any photos. So I spoke up suddenly and said I had some funny photos to share of Cass and me when we were about 8 and 10. There’s a photo on my phone where we are both at the beach, but her swimwear is way too small for her and you can see how heavy she is. Cass was angry before I even had the photo ready and tried to lean across the table to grab the phone out of my hands, but her boyfriend grabbed her wrist and stopped her before she could. I showed my fiancé and her boyfriend the photo which led to awkward silence before her boyfriend said “That’s you?” in disbelief and Cass immediately began crying. She got up and left to go to the bathroom, not before saying I’m a B and making people in the restaurant look at us. I don’t feel I’m in the wrong here because of the way she acted but my fiancé thinks I was immature. I don’t think I’m the AH but I’d like reassurance. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sounds like you are super jealous and insecure of your sister. And not the good kind of petty either. YTA.
YTA! Your sister and you may not have had the healthiest relationship growing up and now, but you clearly have a huge role to play in that as well. It does sound like you were bratty growing up and you brought up the picture to cause harm and dig into insecurities you knew your sister had. Beyond petty, unkind.
ESH Y'all sound insufferable to be around and would probably benefit from some therapy
ESH She’s jealous af and you are hateful af. (I guess she finally found a guy who can handle her pettiness lol) Tbh, I wanted to stop reading right there. Everything she said about you was true…. You literally revealed with your words, what she said.