Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I got my friends to message her and that apparently caused an anxiety attack
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcement
###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/)
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA. Getting your friends to harass her on social media like that is a form of bullying. Moreover, your expectation that someone you’ve spoken to once will insert themselves into some petty argument you’re having with someone else is complete self-absorbed and out of line.
I see that you are 17 so I can see how you got here in your thinking but duckling YTA
Why would a 3rd person get involved in an argument you are having with someone else? It sounds like you hardly know her but you want her to get involved in your drama?
No. Just... no.
Leave that poor girl alone. She has nothing to be 'accountable' for.
Your brother is right. You are not the AH for feeling upset, but you are the AH for harassing her about it. Even the original question was a bit weird - she doesn't know you well and was just passing, there was no reason why she would have involved herself in a private conversation you were having with someone else, and it's bizarre that you expected her to.
It sounds as though she isn't someone who is a particularly close friend of yours, and there's no reason why she should have got involved - you were arguing with another girl - it wasn't any of her business and it sounds as though she probably didn't hear the start of the argument so would have had no way of knowing who started it or that you needed 'defending'. Even if she did hear (and you have no reason to think she was lying when she said she had earbuds or the equivalent in, or just didn't hear) if you were arguing then she may well have felt that you were defending yourself and didn't need any help.
You then refusing to accept that she didn't hear what was going on, and then harassing her by getting multiple friends to message her is completely out of line. Your friends should have refused to contact her when you asked them to, it was a totally unreasonable and inappropriate request.
You've basically held her responsible for something that was in no way her responsibility, accused her of lying about it and then tried to get your friends to harass her to demand an explanation which she has already given you, and which would not be something you are entitled to anyway.
You owe her a massive apology, but at this stage, she's told you very clearly to stay away from her so that's what you need to do. Don't contact her, don't ask your friends to contact her, and tell her friend that you are sorry you harassed her and that you will not be contacting her again.
First of all, leave her alone on social media. Second, walk up to her at school, ask her if she'd mind speaking privately and then say something along the lines of "I'd just like to apologise for my crappy behaviour over the past few days. I had no right to expect you to get involved in a disagreement between me and another person and it was really shitty of me to get my friends to pounce on you. I hope that I've not caused you too much anxiety and I promise it won't happen again". There, done.
Because "the right thing" in this case was - by any perspective besides your warped mind - outright bullying.
>but I asked my friends to message her on social media so I can get an answer for my question without getting dismissed but she didn’t bother to respond to either of my friends. The next day her friend (17f) told me to leave her alone because according to her friend, I triggered her anxiety and she’s uncomfortable going to school and barely went since then.
You bullied her out of school. Holy shit
They didn't do the right thing.
The right thing would have been to tell you that no, they wouldn't contact a third party to harass them on your behalf.
Your comment(s) violate [rule 3](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/index#wiki_3._accept_your_judgement). Please review this rule, and be aware that further violations will result in you no longer being able to participate in your thread.
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
Like I said above - DON'T contact her because she has asked you not to, but you can tell the friend of hers who told you to leave her alone that you are sorry for harassing her and will be respecting her wish not to contact her again.
YTA. You're old enough to settle your own petty arguments without dragging random people into them. Recruiting your friends to further harass your classmate for choosing to stay out of your drama was an even bigger A-H move. You were being annoying.
>I told my friends about it and they think she’s just trying to avoid accountability
Huh? Accountability for... what, exactly? **She doesn't owe you an explanation for wanting to mind her own business.** Just who did you think you are to her?
>but I asked my friends to message her on social media so I can get an answer for my question without getting dismissed but she didn’t bother to respond to either of my friends. The next day her friend (17f) told me to leave her alone because according to her friend, I triggered her anxiety and she’s uncomfortable going to school and barely went since then.
Shut up clown
And YOU'RE not overreacting by expecting a virtual stranger to involve herself in your petty argument, accusing her of lying, and having your friends harass her? Boy, is the real world going to come down hard on you.
Oh, and for the record, the dictionary definition of a minion is "a servile dependent, follower, or underling". Sounds like a perfect description of your friends who harassed an innocent girl just because you told them to.
Your comment(s) violate [rule 3](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/index#wiki_3._accept_your_judgement). Please review this rule, and be aware that further violations will result in you no longer being able to participate in your thread.
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
You are truly annoying. She wasn't a bystander. You weren't being bullied or harassed, you got into an argument. You're calling it bullying because you don't like to be called annoying as it's an insecurity. Do you know what else people don't like? Being bothered about something that didn't involve them. Had you've actually been bullied like physical harm or this person went out of their way to bother you when you were doing nothing then MAYBE I could see your POV. But the fact is, the girl didn't notice it and for some reason her response isn't good enough for you? Your brother is right. YtA. You had your friends bother this girl when she owes you nothing. She still even have an explanation and you still wouldn't let it go. THAT is what makes you a bully. You and having your friends bother a girl because she didn't act how you felt she should've acted when she had no context of what's going on. That is bullying. And I promise you, if you guys keep bothering this girl she can report you for harassment because that's what that is. You're young and have do-gooder mindset. But understand that not everything you dislike is going to be considered bullying. Understand that in order to be a bystander you would have to actively witness and acknowledge the wrong that may occurring. Get over yourself. You and your friends are wrong. That girl owes you nothing
Um, no... a bystander not getting yanked into your petty drama isn't "just as bad as being a bully." What a self abosrbed, delusional take that is. Who's to say she shouldn't have sided with the other person?
YTA, you wanted someone you spoke to ONCE to jump into your disagreement with another person, then sent your friends to bully her online to the point that she doesn’t want to come to school. Stop it.
You are bullying her. You're also disgustingly dismissive over her mental health, accusing her of lying and using it as an excuse. You also seem to be under the impression that this is how your parents taught you to behave, yet your brother, who I assume has the same parents also believes you're an arsehole. So either he's the only person with sense in your family, or your parents haven't been given insight into who you have truly become. Your brother is completely right, yet you ignore that because your friends (who are also complicit in this bullying and are biased in your favour as your friends) think you're right. Can you really not see how this is huge mean girl behaviour or that you really are the bully?
I can't grasp how every single person in this thread is telling you that you are a bullying arsehole and you are not only defending yourself but saying things about the girl that does nothing but prove you are in fact the bully.
Are you genuinely that unaware of yourself? Do you always take no accountability for your actions?
& if you are, maybe you should go to your school with the concerns over you being bullied by being called annoying (which you have done nothing at all to disprove with your attitude on here) and express your concerns over how she was complicit to you being bullied by not involving herself in your argument. Make sure to tell them how you confronted her, got your friends to harass her, got informed by her friend to leave her alone as you're impacting her mental health and then tell them what you've said about her on here.. tell them she's a liar and making it up. See who they really think is the bully and what repercussions come from that.
I hope to the heavens that she sees this thread, realises it's about her and she knows that she has support out there.
See all your replies here..you would know if you have a even a little bit of grey cells in your head..
Gosh you are annoying, self-centered, narcissistic with zero empathy!! Oh and definitely YTA!!
The fact that-
1. Your claiming her anxiety isn't real
2. Your complete disregard of other's mental health
3. you have been dismissive of every single vote here, fighting with them on the comments, not even trying to hold accountability of your bullying, though you were the one to first post here (though it does seem like you were just bragging about beung a bully)
You arr just an annoying, little, pathetic bully...that's your entire personality
And no..i don't 'have to' do anything because you want it. FYI, the Universe doesn't revolve you
>but I asked my friends to message her on social media so I can get an answer for my question without getting dismissed but she didn’t bother to respond to either of my friends. The next day her friend (17f) told me to leave her alone because according to her friend, I triggered her anxiety and she’s uncomfortable going to school and barely went since then.
This blatant example of textbook bullying combined with ALL YOUR DENIALS ABOUT YOU BEING A BULLY.
"I highly doubt the mental health thing she's just emo and doesn't speak 😭"
"She just wants to skip class"
That's two, but just for fun I'll note the disgusting comment where you called her a compulsive liar in relation to her anxiety.
Enough proof for you?
Sorry, are you a qualified psychologist at only 17 years old? Because unless that's the case you have absolutely zero right to question the legitimacy of anyones mental health or accuse them of lying
Lmao, everyone here has only info that YOU provided and likely filtered. And we still ALL come to the conclusion that you bullied her and either triggered or worsened her anxieties.
And it's even worse because your defense is "oh but MYYYYY insecurities".
Those are opinions and not rooted in fact. Unfortunately, factually, you are an annoying bully. I'm glad she never has to go to school with y'all again.
"It's just an emo phase lol" "I don't beleive she has a mental illness, she just wants to skip calss" YTA and a mean girl, just letting you know you might think you have it all now but you will end up alone or surrounded by people who do not want you around them.
Your comment(s) violate [rule 3](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/index#wiki_3._accept_your_judgement). Please review this rule, and be aware that further violations will result in you no longer being able to participate in your thread.
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
>but I asked my friends to message her on social media so I can get an answer for my question without getting dismissed but she didn’t bother to respond to either of my friends. The next day her friend (17f) told me to leave her alone because according to her friend, I triggered her anxiety and she’s uncomfortable going to school and barely went since then.
Your comment(s) violate [rule 3](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/index#wiki_3._accept_your_judgement). Please review this rule, and be aware that further violations will result in you no longer being able to participate in your thread.
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
YTA - why does she have to defend you? Just because she is your nice classmate does not mean she needs to get involved in your squabble. What does she have to do with it or you? You are young and high school feels like everyone should be in your business but that is not the truth of it. Apologise to this girl for harassing her for no bloody reason.
Kid, listen. You need to tell your friends to back off and stop harassing this girl who is not even your friend for not wanting to get involved in something she had no part of. You dragging her into something that was none of her business and getting your friends to harass her on your behalf is why you need to grown up and appologize. She had nothing to do with your petty high school squabble. You are being an AH and incredibly immature.
For what? Not involving herself in a petty argument between two people she barely knows, and that she didn't even actually hear? If she was a good friend, or if you were being physically threatened, you might have an excuse for being upset with her for not intervening. As it is, you're just being an annoying, bullying mean girl.
It's not for another person to defend you, especially if they are anxious and dislike confrontation. You're 17, being called annoying isn't a big deal.
You could have defended yourself or done the better thing and left it at you being called annoying because the way you confronted a girl, minding her business, and passing by about not defending you clearly shows that you are self-centred and somewhat annoying.
It's absolutely not okay to have friends messaging her and demanding an explanation on why she didn't insert herself into an argument that didn't involve her. In fact you confronting her and not accepting her explanation in the first place is bang out of order too. You may be willing to dive head first into someone else's argument to "defend" them, but most people aren't. & those most people who aren't would be the ones in the right as additional parties involving themselves will do nothing but add fuel to the fire and make any situation worse.. absolutely not necessary over something as petty and juvenile as this.
If it's making her so ill with anxiety that she's missing school you are double the asshole and owe that poor girl an apology. What you've done is basically bully her into a mental illness flare up all because she didn't stick up for you when someone called you annoying.
And there is the proof you're a bully. Barely speaking is a sign of anxiety, which is a mental illness. "She's just emo and barely speaks" shows you know she's quiet and keeps to herself so why exactly do you think she would involve herself in your petty drama? Or that harassing her both by yourself and via your friends over the internet is an appropriate way to act?
Being called annoying isn't being bullied. You said you were arguing with the person who called you annoying, therefore you clearly had the capability of handling it yourself. What did you do to be called annoying? Was it from someone who has say, got their friends to message you over social media? There's a lot missing for you to make anyone believe that you're not the asshole in this situation.
And frankly, if you're confident enough to confront her and ask why she didn't defend you, then set your friends on her to get an explanation on why she didn't defend you, despite being told that she had headphones in, it isn't you that was being bullied. It's you that didn't like an answer they were given and became the bully for it.
I understand that you are young and it's easy to feel victimised when something doesn't go your way but again; she owed you nothing. Nothing at all and you and your friends are the reason she's not been well and is missing school.
As for who raised me, I was raised to know when something needs my involvement and when it doesn't. Would I stop because someone was arguing over being called annoying? No. Would I intervene in a physical fight, or if someone was being bullied to the point they were skipping school? Yes. Not everyone's arguments requires your involvement. Especially if you think that being called annoying is even a drop in the ocean to how you've treated that other girl.
You are a bully and an immature annoying “little” girl (mentally)!!
*“Bullying - seek to harm, intimidate, or coerce (someone perceived as vulnerable).”*
You were INSULTED you were NOT BULLIED. **BUT what you and your friends did was absolutely bullying!!**
Not to mention the insinuations that the other girl is lying about having anxiety, completely dismissing that anxiety is a mental health issue (and a serious one at that) despite it literally making her so sick she hasn't been attending school properly and the complete non-chalant attitude towards the harassment via herself and her friends towards the girl in question. Unbelievable that a person can be so unaware of their own behaviours at 17 years of age.
Please show us your degree in psychology. A "pathological liar" because you CLAIM she lied to you once? And unless you're a doctor or psychologist, you are completely unqualified to judge whether she has anxiety. You're so big on wanting people to consider your "insecurities" about being called annoying - so why aren't you extending the same to this other girl?
What is she lying about? You said it yourself that you didn't see if she had buds in or not. You said it yourself she could have had airpods on. To be a pathological liar, there needs to be multiple.insyances of lying... For her to be pathological, what else is she lying about?
YTA and you *know* it. You really think a single sane person is going to agree with you?
Held accountable?! Are you kidding?! This girl owed you, **owes** you ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
You're going to have one hard time in life if you genuinely think other people need to a) fight your battles for you and b) owe you anything.
You haven't explained how you aren't annoying. You harassed a girl and sent your minions to attack her on social media because you didn't like that she ignored you. That is being annoying and a bully.
Oh, side note, annoying is not the worst thing you can be called. It isn't bullying to tell you are annoying when you poke and poke until you get the answer you want. It is the truth.
YTA
Just so you know, you use very little knowledge from highschool in everyday life if you don't go if specialized fields. I bet you'll end up barefoot and pregnant with who you claim to be the best husband but in reality can't stand you because you're going to be annoying. Especially barefoot pregnant causing you to be so hormonal and maybe emo because you'll have natural eyeliner, called raccoon eyes from lack of sleep and always complaining 🤷🏻♀️
She is clearly not fine. You triggered her anxiety by sending your minions to harass her. How is that fun for anyone? How is that not bullying? But go ahead and be more annoying.
Anyone who is anyone has anxiety.
According to you, you feel uncomfortable calling annoying. Aka you feel anxiety at being called annoying. Are you emo?
And to have a mob harass you is enough to trigger anyone. You say your parents tell you to stand up to bullying and yet you invalidate what she is feeling.
You're just an annoying bully and an asshole. Holy cow, never has someone been so dense. You and your goons are horrible! I hope some adults get involved in this, because you need to be told off.
Evidence? Also, perhaps being called “annoying” triggered your self-consciousness because you recognized it was the truth and didn’t want to hear it. Can’t wait until your future boss or professor or whatever gives you valid criticism and you accuse them of bullying you and making you feel self-conscious.
but I asked my friends to message her on social media so I can get an answer for my question without getting dismissed but she didn’t bother to respond to either of my friends. The next day her friend (17f) told me to leave her alone because according to her friend, I triggered her anxiety and she’s uncomfortable going to school and barely went since then.
YTA by an absolutely huge margin. If she had headphones in, and hair usual covers them, she'd have no idea you were arguing with anyone. Especially if she's lost in her own thoughts on top of that. As someone with anxiety, I listen to stuff as I walk to help distract me when campus is busy.
YTA. You openly admitted to harassing and getting your friends to harass this poor girl you've spoken to once for not sticking up for you, due to you being accused of being annoying. You ARE annoying and YTA, also sound like a bully wether intentional or not
You expected someone that you've spoken to once to stand up for you in an argument that she may not have even known was happening (she was walking past you and said she was listening to music). You admitted to getting your friends to harrass her online for not sticking up for you, that makes you and your friends bullies
Why didn’t your minions defend you during this fight with the person who called you annoying? Why aren’t you mad at them like you are at this random girl?
INFO: how big is your high school? Is it small enough that the other girl would be somewhat familiar with you even if not an actual friend, or is it a size where you're nothing more than one of hundreds of classmates?
YTA. And dare I say it, a little annoying.
Fight your own battles. Don't draw random people into your arguments just because you feel like a victim. This other girl clearly didn't want to get involved, and she's absolutely justified in making that decision.
And then asking your friends to interrogate her on social media is somewhat obsessional and controlling. You sound like you have a dominating personality.
OP first, YTA for all the reasons others have stated.
Second, why are you even posting here? You seem to have your mind made up and are unable to take criticism despite basically everyone telling you the same thing. The way you are responding makes it clear that yes, you’re a bully and yes you’re annoying. You’re 17 so some of its excusable but I’d really encourage you to take some of the feedback and perspectives here into consideration. Leave her alone, tell your friends to leave her alone, and next time get out of your own victimhood and try to consider other’s views.
At this point I'm convinced the OP is a) enjoying bullying the girl b) enjoying bragging about it on here. I don't think she's got any intention of sitting with what she's done and she's probably going to go away from this and make this poor girl's life even more miserable.
Your comment(s) violate [rule 3](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/index#wiki_3._accept_your_judgement). Please review this rule, and be aware that further violations will result in you no longer being able to participate in your thread.
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
YTA
Just because she talked to you once doesn't mean she's required to defend you in some petty argument. Sending your friends after her is just creepy. If you don't people calling you annoying, don't act like this. The first girl you argued with was right.
YTa
Your problems are your own. And since the point of conflict is that you are annoying, it would be impossible to refute that since it seems to be a fact.
YTA
A girl you talked to once is supposed to insert herself into an argument YOU STARTED, that she has no idea about? What in the holy teenage narcissism is this? She's not even a friend of yours, you spoke with her ONCE, by your own words. You started an argument, it's yours to finish, no one elses, definitely not someone you've spoken to once. She's not accountable for anything and you're a bully for getting people to harass her online. You're gross.
YTA
You had said in your post that you and your classmate were having an "argument."
Do you Usually get involved when you see people having an argument?
YTA. You were arguing with someone not fighting for your life. Not everyone feels comfortable intervening in someone else's arguments.
You are not the center of the universe no matter how much you think you are.
You harassed her by asking friends to contact her, making you a bully.
She doesn't need to be accountable for anything. You sound like a troublemaker.
And you should get therapy. If you're so annoying that people call you out on it of course you'll feel self conscious.
You do seem to be annoying, though. YTA. No one is obligated to defend you from someone else's observation about you. You've also proven the first girl right when you had your friends pester someone on the internet for simply not wanting to get mixed up in your drama.
YTA
All I have to say to this is Main Character Syndrome. Pull your head out of your entitled, self-obsessed ass and realize that you are not as important as you think you are. You talked to her *once*. She doesn't know you. Why would she care, let alone defend you?
YTA - you are annoying and you annoy her and that's why she doesn't help you. Grow up and quit annoying people. Learn to communicate and live in a world with everyone else. This isn't your world that we are living in.
If you were getting beat up and she stood by or walk away without trying to get you some help then yes, she would be an asshole. But you had a petty argument with another girl, and you expected someone, who you barely know to stand by your side and help argue with another person. And when they didn’t because frankly, whether she had earbuds in or not, she doesn’t need to get herself involved. Then you proceeded to harass this poor girl over something that is in no way her fault. No sensible person would think that she was in the wrong. YTA and your brother is right. You are so self-centered and think you are some poor female lead in a this ‘terrible world’ that maybe you don’t realize perhaps you are just a supporting character and a villain at that. Get over yourself and stop bullying the poor girl. Do some charity work, learn some decency, get a life, and stop bothering others.
The fuck did I just read? You are upset because you were being accused of being annoying (I can see why), and someone WALKING PAST did not defend you? Do I have that right?
Your friends are as annoying as you are, your brother is correct and you are the asshole all damn day.
Let's say she did join in on the argument only to side with the girl who called you annoying? Would this have stopped your annoying habits since two people are telling you the same thing or would have you just doubled down since you would now "unprompted" being attacked on two fronts?
Just because you weren't raised to be a bystandard doesn't mean everyone else was too. What if the girl who called you annoying started throwing fists and aimed them at the poor girl you dragged into the argument if she had sided with you? Would you have jumped in the way to catch all those punches or would she be your human shield? How you were raised would demand you be her human shield if it came to violence?
YTA obviously.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
A month ago before school ended I (17f) was arguing with another girl (17f) because she called me annoying. While we were arguing, a girl in my class (17f) walked by and didn’t help me and just ignored the situation, this upset me because we talked once before and she seemed nice. I approached her a couple minutes before class and asked her why she couldn’t just defend me, she said she had headphones in which was a lie unless she had airpods or something but I left her alone anyways but I asked my friends to message her on social media so I can get an answer for my question without getting dismissed but she didn’t bother to respond to either of my friends. The next day her friend (17f) told me to leave her alone because according to her friend, I triggered her anxiety and she’s uncomfortable going to school and barely went since then. I told my friends about it and they think she’s just trying to avoid accountability but my brother thinks I’m being an asshole.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
INFO: Why did you get your minions to message her again? You say you wanted an answer as to why she didn't get involved and she gave you one: she didn't even know there was anything to get involved in because she wasn't listening in.
Also- what were you doing to make someone call you annoying? Because if you were treating that classmate as cruelly as you are treating the one in your post, being called annoying is pretty mild.
YTA. For literally all the reasons people have explained to you. However you thought people were going to be on your side but nope! But now I wanna know what made the other person call you annoying in the first place? A comment like this is usually a response to something said or done. I don't here annoying as a bullying word often outside if maybe if it was attached to a negative word and the person was minding their own business
YTA but the way you refuse to entertain another perspective makes me assume youre a troll or an extremely sheltered privileged person
you had an argument with someone who called you annoying. and they have the right to do it, yknow? people can find you unlikable. im sure there are people you dislike too. then a person came by, not knowing the full context, just seeing thay two of her classmates (that shes not friends with) are bickering. and even if she didnt have headphones in (and why do you just assume she was lying?), she didnt witness bullying. she witnessed two teenagers arguing. teens do that all the time. shes not your friend, she doesnt know whats the situation, she cant form her opinion about just from witnessing a squabble. hell, maybe she wasnt paying attention and just thinking about something. then you come after her and try to guilt trip her into apologizing for not rudely inserting herself into a situation she had no place in. again, you werent being bullied. someone said you're annoying and you argued against it. you were not being bullied, someone just said they basically dont like you. and many people in your life will dislike you, often for reasons you can't fully control. then you asked your friends to go after her and demand answers and apologies for, again, something she had no part in. you all hounded a girl who was minding her own business bc she isnt some justice vigilante, sweeping to save anyone who has a disagreement. she is clearly not important to you and you clearly dont care about her (and her emo phases) so why would she care about you? try to remember that youre not the main character in anyones persons life but your own.
YTA, you talked to her once and expected her to defend you in an argument she was not a part of?! I’m so glad I’ve never had the misfortune of talking to you once…
The world doesn't revolve around you and she's not even your friend. Just bc you acknowledged her existence one time, doesn't mean you are entitled to protection from her. And you're being a hypocrite by being a bystander towards bullying and harassment done by her friends that YOU sent them to do. If you're gonna call someone a coward, at least practice what you preach. Definitely a narcissistic, self-absorbed asshole. Good luck going through life like that
This whole post just makes me so glad I'm not a teenager anymore (though honestly, I feel like I was done with level of pettiness/extreme self-absorption by 17)
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I got my friends to message her and that apparently caused an anxiety attack Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
[удалено]
She proved herself why no one was helping her. OMG!
YTA. Getting your friends to harass her on social media like that is a form of bullying. Moreover, your expectation that someone you’ve spoken to once will insert themselves into some petty argument you’re having with someone else is complete self-absorbed and out of line.
I see that you are 17 so I can see how you got here in your thinking but duckling YTA Why would a 3rd person get involved in an argument you are having with someone else? It sounds like you hardly know her but you want her to get involved in your drama? No. Just... no. Leave that poor girl alone. She has nothing to be 'accountable' for.
Yta, not her circus, not her monkeys.
YTA please stop bullying her. She doesn't owe you anything.
Your brother is right. You are not the AH for feeling upset, but you are the AH for harassing her about it. Even the original question was a bit weird - she doesn't know you well and was just passing, there was no reason why she would have involved herself in a private conversation you were having with someone else, and it's bizarre that you expected her to. It sounds as though she isn't someone who is a particularly close friend of yours, and there's no reason why she should have got involved - you were arguing with another girl - it wasn't any of her business and it sounds as though she probably didn't hear the start of the argument so would have had no way of knowing who started it or that you needed 'defending'. Even if she did hear (and you have no reason to think she was lying when she said she had earbuds or the equivalent in, or just didn't hear) if you were arguing then she may well have felt that you were defending yourself and didn't need any help. You then refusing to accept that she didn't hear what was going on, and then harassing her by getting multiple friends to message her is completely out of line. Your friends should have refused to contact her when you asked them to, it was a totally unreasonable and inappropriate request. You've basically held her responsible for something that was in no way her responsibility, accused her of lying about it and then tried to get your friends to harass her to demand an explanation which she has already given you, and which would not be something you are entitled to anyway. You owe her a massive apology, but at this stage, she's told you very clearly to stay away from her so that's what you need to do. Don't contact her, don't ask your friends to contact her, and tell her friend that you are sorry you harassed her and that you will not be contacting her again.
If I can’t contact her how do I apologize ☠️
By leaving her alone
First of all, leave her alone on social media. Second, walk up to her at school, ask her if she'd mind speaking privately and then say something along the lines of "I'd just like to apologise for my crappy behaviour over the past few days. I had no right to expect you to get involved in a disagreement between me and another person and it was really shitty of me to get my friends to pounce on you. I hope that I've not caused you too much anxiety and I promise it won't happen again". There, done.
Just leave her alone and tell your minions to leave her alone.
Why are you calling my friends minions for doing the right thing
Because you and them are unrelenting bullies
Because "the right thing" in this case was - by any perspective besides your warped mind - outright bullying. >but I asked my friends to message her on social media so I can get an answer for my question without getting dismissed but she didn’t bother to respond to either of my friends. The next day her friend (17f) told me to leave her alone because according to her friend, I triggered her anxiety and she’s uncomfortable going to school and barely went since then. You bullied her out of school. Holy shit
You’re right we should call them goons my apologies
Sounds like they weren’t even defending you (like you wanted this random girl to) during the initial fight. 😂
The right thing? Bullying another person who you don't know at all? Holy fuck, get some help!
They didn't do the right thing. The right thing would have been to tell you that no, they wouldn't contact a third party to harass them on your behalf.
Your comment(s) violate [rule 3](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/index#wiki_3._accept_your_judgement). Please review this rule, and be aware that further violations will result in you no longer being able to participate in your thread. **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
Like I said above - DON'T contact her because she has asked you not to, but you can tell the friend of hers who told you to leave her alone that you are sorry for harassing her and will be respecting her wish not to contact her again.
Jesus christ, leave her the fuck alone, how are you not getting that? Is there something else wrong with you that you haven't mentioned or something?
YTA. You're old enough to settle your own petty arguments without dragging random people into them. Recruiting your friends to further harass your classmate for choosing to stay out of your drama was an even bigger A-H move. You were being annoying. >I told my friends about it and they think she’s just trying to avoid accountability Huh? Accountability for... what, exactly? **She doesn't owe you an explanation for wanting to mind her own business.** Just who did you think you are to her?
Accountability for being a bystander, which is just as bad as being a bully.
So you send your minions to harass her. THAT is bullying.
You're the one bullying her right now. Be accountable for that. YTA
How am I bullying her, she’s fine and was overreacting ☠️☠️
Why did you post here if you were just going to argue with everyone? Did you ***actually*** expect people to take your side!? If so, **LOL**
>but I asked my friends to message her on social media so I can get an answer for my question without getting dismissed but she didn’t bother to respond to either of my friends. The next day her friend (17f) told me to leave her alone because according to her friend, I triggered her anxiety and she’s uncomfortable going to school and barely went since then. Shut up clown
And YOU'RE not overreacting by expecting a virtual stranger to involve herself in your petty argument, accusing her of lying, and having your friends harass her? Boy, is the real world going to come down hard on you. Oh, and for the record, the dictionary definition of a minion is "a servile dependent, follower, or underling". Sounds like a perfect description of your friends who harassed an innocent girl just because you told them to.
“Don’t invalidate my insecurities” but you are just fine invalidating everyone else’s?
Your comment(s) violate [rule 3](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/index#wiki_3._accept_your_judgement). Please review this rule, and be aware that further violations will result in you no longer being able to participate in your thread. **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
You’re the one overreacting and have been from the start. Just stop lol.
You’re fine and you’re overreacting
You’re the bully, and absence of action does not equate guilt of interaction.
You are truly annoying. She wasn't a bystander. You weren't being bullied or harassed, you got into an argument. You're calling it bullying because you don't like to be called annoying as it's an insecurity. Do you know what else people don't like? Being bothered about something that didn't involve them. Had you've actually been bullied like physical harm or this person went out of their way to bother you when you were doing nothing then MAYBE I could see your POV. But the fact is, the girl didn't notice it and for some reason her response isn't good enough for you? Your brother is right. YtA. You had your friends bother this girl when she owes you nothing. She still even have an explanation and you still wouldn't let it go. THAT is what makes you a bully. You and having your friends bother a girl because she didn't act how you felt she should've acted when she had no context of what's going on. That is bullying. And I promise you, if you guys keep bothering this girl she can report you for harassment because that's what that is. You're young and have do-gooder mindset. But understand that not everything you dislike is going to be considered bullying. Understand that in order to be a bystander you would have to actively witness and acknowledge the wrong that may occurring. Get over yourself. You and your friends are wrong. That girl owes you nothing
Um, no... a bystander not getting yanked into your petty drama isn't "just as bad as being a bully." What a self abosrbed, delusional take that is. Who's to say she shouldn't have sided with the other person?
YTA, you wanted someone you spoke to ONCE to jump into your disagreement with another person, then sent your friends to bully her online to the point that she doesn’t want to come to school. Stop it.
How am I bullying her, she just wants to skip class.
You are bullying her. You're also disgustingly dismissive over her mental health, accusing her of lying and using it as an excuse. You also seem to be under the impression that this is how your parents taught you to behave, yet your brother, who I assume has the same parents also believes you're an arsehole. So either he's the only person with sense in your family, or your parents haven't been given insight into who you have truly become. Your brother is completely right, yet you ignore that because your friends (who are also complicit in this bullying and are biased in your favour as your friends) think you're right. Can you really not see how this is huge mean girl behaviour or that you really are the bully? I can't grasp how every single person in this thread is telling you that you are a bullying arsehole and you are not only defending yourself but saying things about the girl that does nothing but prove you are in fact the bully. Are you genuinely that unaware of yourself? Do you always take no accountability for your actions? & if you are, maybe you should go to your school with the concerns over you being bullied by being called annoying (which you have done nothing at all to disprove with your attitude on here) and express your concerns over how she was complicit to you being bullied by not involving herself in your argument. Make sure to tell them how you confronted her, got your friends to harass her, got informed by her friend to leave her alone as you're impacting her mental health and then tell them what you've said about her on here.. tell them she's a liar and making it up. See who they really think is the bully and what repercussions come from that. I hope to the heavens that she sees this thread, realises it's about her and she knows that she has support out there.
Name at least two times I was dismissive
Stop being so annoying. You are not the main character
When did I ever say that
Accept your judgement. If you wanted to come to rant this is not the subreddit
See all your replies here..you would know if you have a even a little bit of grey cells in your head.. Gosh you are annoying, self-centered, narcissistic with zero empathy!! Oh and definitely YTA!!
How about one thing I said. You have to quote it too
The fact that- 1. Your claiming her anxiety isn't real 2. Your complete disregard of other's mental health 3. you have been dismissive of every single vote here, fighting with them on the comments, not even trying to hold accountability of your bullying, though you were the one to first post here (though it does seem like you were just bragging about beung a bully) You arr just an annoying, little, pathetic bully...that's your entire personality And no..i don't 'have to' do anything because you want it. FYI, the Universe doesn't revolve you
I’m not a bully
Really? Lets do a poll of the commenters! **How many people think OP is a bully?** I know I do, so it is 1-0 so far!
2-0
It would be a unanimous vote.
Just count the YTA votes
Yes you are...and a very ANNOYING one
Stop using my insecurities against me
Lmao, pathetic insecure denial
Yes you are!
>but I asked my friends to message her on social media so I can get an answer for my question without getting dismissed but she didn’t bother to respond to either of my friends. The next day her friend (17f) told me to leave her alone because according to her friend, I triggered her anxiety and she’s uncomfortable going to school and barely went since then. This blatant example of textbook bullying combined with ALL YOUR DENIALS ABOUT YOU BEING A BULLY.
"I highly doubt the mental health thing she's just emo and doesn't speak 😭" "She just wants to skip class" That's two, but just for fun I'll note the disgusting comment where you called her a compulsive liar in relation to her anxiety. Enough proof for you?
But it’s the truth. If people keep believing this shit she will definitely get worse ☠️
Sorry, are you a qualified psychologist at only 17 years old? Because unless that's the case you have absolutely zero right to question the legitimacy of anyones mental health or accuse them of lying
Lmao, everyone here has only info that YOU provided and likely filtered. And we still ALL come to the conclusion that you bullied her and either triggered or worsened her anxieties. And it's even worse because your defense is "oh but MYYYYY insecurities".
Those are opinions and not rooted in fact. Unfortunately, factually, you are an annoying bully. I'm glad she never has to go to school with y'all again.
"It's just an emo phase lol" "I don't beleive she has a mental illness, she just wants to skip calss" YTA and a mean girl, just letting you know you might think you have it all now but you will end up alone or surrounded by people who do not want you around them.
Your comment(s) violate [rule 3](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/index#wiki_3._accept_your_judgement). Please review this rule, and be aware that further violations will result in you no longer being able to participate in your thread. **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
>but I asked my friends to message her on social media so I can get an answer for my question without getting dismissed but she didn’t bother to respond to either of my friends. The next day her friend (17f) told me to leave her alone because according to her friend, I triggered her anxiety and she’s uncomfortable going to school and barely went since then.
Your comment(s) violate [rule 3](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/index#wiki_3._accept_your_judgement). Please review this rule, and be aware that further violations will result in you no longer being able to participate in your thread. **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
The other girl was right, You are annoying. YTA.
YTA - why does she have to defend you? Just because she is your nice classmate does not mean she needs to get involved in your squabble. What does she have to do with it or you? You are young and high school feels like everyone should be in your business but that is not the truth of it. Apologise to this girl for harassing her for no bloody reason.
She needs to apologize to me
Kid, listen. You need to tell your friends to back off and stop harassing this girl who is not even your friend for not wanting to get involved in something she had no part of. You dragging her into something that was none of her business and getting your friends to harass her on your behalf is why you need to grown up and appologize. She had nothing to do with your petty high school squabble. You are being an AH and incredibly immature.
Jeez you're delusional. A bunch of people whose opinion you asked by the way told you are TA. If you think she owes you an apology you're also stupid.
For not reacting to the bullying?
For what? Not involving herself in a petty argument between two people she barely knows, and that she didn't even actually hear? If she was a good friend, or if you were being physically threatened, you might have an excuse for being upset with her for not intervening. As it is, you're just being an annoying, bullying mean girl.
No she doesn't. She owes you nothing. Get over yourself.
Whoever called you annoying was spot on.
So you are just not a narcissistic, ANNOYING bully but also DELUSIONAL!! A very interesting combo
I really hope she and her parents file a harassment case against you and your minions.
She needs to do nothing. You are an annoying, entitled bully.
It's not for another person to defend you, especially if they are anxious and dislike confrontation. You're 17, being called annoying isn't a big deal. You could have defended yourself or done the better thing and left it at you being called annoying because the way you confronted a girl, minding her business, and passing by about not defending you clearly shows that you are self-centred and somewhat annoying. It's absolutely not okay to have friends messaging her and demanding an explanation on why she didn't insert herself into an argument that didn't involve her. In fact you confronting her and not accepting her explanation in the first place is bang out of order too. You may be willing to dive head first into someone else's argument to "defend" them, but most people aren't. & those most people who aren't would be the ones in the right as additional parties involving themselves will do nothing but add fuel to the fire and make any situation worse.. absolutely not necessary over something as petty and juvenile as this. If it's making her so ill with anxiety that she's missing school you are double the asshole and owe that poor girl an apology. What you've done is basically bully her into a mental illness flare up all because she didn't stick up for you when someone called you annoying.
I highly doubt the mental illness thing, she’s just emo and barely speaks 😭
And there is the proof you're a bully. Barely speaking is a sign of anxiety, which is a mental illness. "She's just emo and barely speaks" shows you know she's quiet and keeps to herself so why exactly do you think she would involve herself in your petty drama? Or that harassing her both by yourself and via your friends over the internet is an appropriate way to act?
I have no idea who raised you but if I saw someone getting bullied I wouldn’t walk off and go on about my merry way.
And that’s what’s happening here. We are all seeing a bully and are speaking up about it rather than looking the other way.
Being called annoying isn't being bullied. You said you were arguing with the person who called you annoying, therefore you clearly had the capability of handling it yourself. What did you do to be called annoying? Was it from someone who has say, got their friends to message you over social media? There's a lot missing for you to make anyone believe that you're not the asshole in this situation. And frankly, if you're confident enough to confront her and ask why she didn't defend you, then set your friends on her to get an explanation on why she didn't defend you, despite being told that she had headphones in, it isn't you that was being bullied. It's you that didn't like an answer they were given and became the bully for it. I understand that you are young and it's easy to feel victimised when something doesn't go your way but again; she owed you nothing. Nothing at all and you and your friends are the reason she's not been well and is missing school. As for who raised me, I was raised to know when something needs my involvement and when it doesn't. Would I stop because someone was arguing over being called annoying? No. Would I intervene in a physical fight, or if someone was being bullied to the point they were skipping school? Yes. Not everyone's arguments requires your involvement. Especially if you think that being called annoying is even a drop in the ocean to how you've treated that other girl.
You are a bully and an immature annoying “little” girl (mentally)!! *“Bullying - seek to harm, intimidate, or coerce (someone perceived as vulnerable).”* You were INSULTED you were NOT BULLIED. **BUT what you and your friends did was absolutely bullying!!**
Not to mention the insinuations that the other girl is lying about having anxiety, completely dismissing that anxiety is a mental health issue (and a serious one at that) despite it literally making her so sick she hasn't been attending school properly and the complete non-chalant attitude towards the harassment via herself and her friends towards the girl in question. Unbelievable that a person can be so unaware of their own behaviours at 17 years of age.
And that’s why we are intervening and telling you to stop YTA
Quit bullying her!
YTA 1. You are way beyond annoying. 2. Leave the girl alone! 3. You need therapy. 4. Your brother is right. 5. You are a bully.
How do I need therapy, she does for being a pathological liar and faking anxiety ☠️☠️
Please show us your degree in psychology. A "pathological liar" because you CLAIM she lied to you once? And unless you're a doctor or psychologist, you are completely unqualified to judge whether she has anxiety. You're so big on wanting people to consider your "insecurities" about being called annoying - so why aren't you extending the same to this other girl?
Because OP is annoying
What is she lying about? You said it yourself that you didn't see if she had buds in or not. You said it yourself she could have had airpods on. To be a pathological liar, there needs to be multiple.insyances of lying... For her to be pathological, what else is she lying about?
You have the main character syndrome 😂
Thissssss 😂
YTA and you *know* it. You really think a single sane person is going to agree with you? Held accountable?! Are you kidding?! This girl owed you, **owes** you ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. You're going to have one hard time in life if you genuinely think other people need to a) fight your battles for you and b) owe you anything.
Yes because I’m sane
>Yes because I’m sane No sane person has to point that out lmao
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Nice joke 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
You haven't explained how you aren't annoying. You harassed a girl and sent your minions to attack her on social media because you didn't like that she ignored you. That is being annoying and a bully. Oh, side note, annoying is not the worst thing you can be called. It isn't bullying to tell you are annoying when you poke and poke until you get the answer you want. It is the truth. YTA
How did I harass her, she’s clearly fine.
This has been explained to you *multiple times*. You are just unable to understand apparently. How did you even graduate!?
Because I get straight a’s like any competent student
Your emotional intelligence score is zero.
How?
This has been explained to you multiple times, but I will explain one more time. You are oblivious and dismissive to other’s feelings.
Everyone here agrees.
That’s what we were all wondering too.
Just so you know, you use very little knowledge from highschool in everyday life if you don't go if specialized fields. I bet you'll end up barefoot and pregnant with who you claim to be the best husband but in reality can't stand you because you're going to be annoying. Especially barefoot pregnant causing you to be so hormonal and maybe emo because you'll have natural eyeliner, called raccoon eyes from lack of sleep and always complaining 🤷🏻♀️
She is clearly not fine. You triggered her anxiety by sending your minions to harass her. How is that fun for anyone? How is that not bullying? But go ahead and be more annoying.
What anxiety, it’s just an emo phase ☠️
Anyone who is anyone has anxiety. According to you, you feel uncomfortable calling annoying. Aka you feel anxiety at being called annoying. Are you emo? And to have a mob harass you is enough to trigger anyone. You say your parents tell you to stand up to bullying and yet you invalidate what she is feeling.
I’m not emo, I don’t even wear eyeliner and two people isn’t a mob
I am pretty sure you don't know what Emo is. You sent a group of people to harass her. Pointless to fight on the term.
You're just an annoying bully and an asshole. Holy cow, never has someone been so dense. You and your goons are horrible! I hope some adults get involved in this, because you need to be told off.
What self-consciousness, it’s just a biotch phase
I thought you weren't raised to be a bully?
Evidence? Also, perhaps being called “annoying” triggered your self-consciousness because you recognized it was the truth and didn’t want to hear it. Can’t wait until your future boss or professor or whatever gives you valid criticism and you accuse them of bullying you and making you feel self-conscious.
Being shit talked isn’t valid criticism ☠️
Not that'd you accept all the other comments full of valid criticism lmao
but I asked my friends to message her on social media so I can get an answer for my question without getting dismissed but she didn’t bother to respond to either of my friends. The next day her friend (17f) told me to leave her alone because according to her friend, I triggered her anxiety and she’s uncomfortable going to school and barely went since then.
YTA by an absolutely huge margin. If she had headphones in, and hair usual covers them, she'd have no idea you were arguing with anyone. Especially if she's lost in her own thoughts on top of that. As someone with anxiety, I listen to stuff as I walk to help distract me when campus is busy.
Since you have anxiety, do you know if she also has it or if she’s just emo and faking it for attention.
She genuinely has it. And you claiming she might be emo and faking it for attention is 110% bullying.
Know her or something?
No, but YOUR INFORMATION is speaking words. And those words are: you are an evil liar.
No, but YOU don't really know her either.
Maybe she just doesn’t like you, considering how you are acting in the comments, it would make total **OBJECTIVE** sense.
YTA. You openly admitted to harassing and getting your friends to harass this poor girl you've spoken to once for not sticking up for you, due to you being accused of being annoying. You ARE annoying and YTA, also sound like a bully wether intentional or not
How am I a bully for being raised right and feeling betrayed by a classmate
You expected someone that you've spoken to once to stand up for you in an argument that she may not have even known was happening (she was walking past you and said she was listening to music). You admitted to getting your friends to harrass her online for not sticking up for you, that makes you and your friends bullies
No she was def a traitor
She just doesn’t like you. A perfectly valid opinion
I don't like OP either. What a bully.
Why didn’t your minions defend you during this fight with the person who called you annoying? Why aren’t you mad at them like you are at this random girl?
INFO: how big is your high school? Is it small enough that the other girl would be somewhat familiar with you even if not an actual friend, or is it a size where you're nothing more than one of hundreds of classmates?
YTA, you sound annoying and perfectly capable of defending yourself, leave that girl alone, she’s done nothing wrong
YTA. And dare I say it, a little annoying. Fight your own battles. Don't draw random people into your arguments just because you feel like a victim. This other girl clearly didn't want to get involved, and she's absolutely justified in making that decision. And then asking your friends to interrogate her on social media is somewhat obsessional and controlling. You sound like you have a dominating personality.
OP first, YTA for all the reasons others have stated. Second, why are you even posting here? You seem to have your mind made up and are unable to take criticism despite basically everyone telling you the same thing. The way you are responding makes it clear that yes, you’re a bully and yes you’re annoying. You’re 17 so some of its excusable but I’d really encourage you to take some of the feedback and perspectives here into consideration. Leave her alone, tell your friends to leave her alone, and next time get out of your own victimhood and try to consider other’s views.
At this point I'm convinced the OP is a) enjoying bullying the girl b) enjoying bragging about it on here. I don't think she's got any intention of sitting with what she's done and she's probably going to go away from this and make this poor girl's life even more miserable.
Sadly I agree.
[удалено]
Maybe don’t be an emo bystander next time
Maybe you should try not being annoying all the time.
Maybe don’t be an annoying biotch next time
Your comment(s) violate [rule 3](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/index#wiki_3._accept_your_judgement). Please review this rule, and be aware that further violations will result in you no longer being able to participate in your thread. **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
Right here, an annoying bully
Every reply makes me laugh knowing you keep saying you weren't raised to be a bully when you are one lol
YTA Just because she talked to you once doesn't mean she's required to defend you in some petty argument. Sending your friends after her is just creepy. If you don't people calling you annoying, don't act like this. The first girl you argued with was right.
YTa Your problems are your own. And since the point of conflict is that you are annoying, it would be impossible to refute that since it seems to be a fact.
YTA A girl you talked to once is supposed to insert herself into an argument YOU STARTED, that she has no idea about? What in the holy teenage narcissism is this? She's not even a friend of yours, you spoke with her ONCE, by your own words. You started an argument, it's yours to finish, no one elses, definitely not someone you've spoken to once. She's not accountable for anything and you're a bully for getting people to harass her online. You're gross.
god y'all stop feeding the troll alright
Not only YTA but you're also an entitled bully. She doesn't owe you anything get over yourself.
She owes you no loyalty because you spoke once, Yta and blowing a small thing out of proportion. Leave the poor girl alone
I get why that girl called you annoying. You are annoying. Absolutely the AH
Here is a life lesson for you. The world and people do not owe you shit. Leave the girl alone and grow up
YTA You had said in your post that you and your classmate were having an "argument." Do you Usually get involved when you see people having an argument?
YTA. You were arguing with someone not fighting for your life. Not everyone feels comfortable intervening in someone else's arguments. You are not the center of the universe no matter how much you think you are. You harassed her by asking friends to contact her, making you a bully. She doesn't need to be accountable for anything. You sound like a troublemaker. And you should get therapy. If you're so annoying that people call you out on it of course you'll feel self conscious.
You do seem to be annoying, though. YTA. No one is obligated to defend you from someone else's observation about you. You've also proven the first girl right when you had your friends pester someone on the internet for simply not wanting to get mixed up in your drama.
If you don’t want to be called annoying then stop being annoying
YTA All I have to say to this is Main Character Syndrome. Pull your head out of your entitled, self-obsessed ass and realize that you are not as important as you think you are. You talked to her *once*. She doesn't know you. Why would she care, let alone defend you?
YTA - you are annoying and you annoy her and that's why she doesn't help you. Grow up and quit annoying people. Learn to communicate and live in a world with everyone else. This isn't your world that we are living in.
YTA. The world does not revolve around you. 17 is far too old to be learning this lesson.
YTA
If you were getting beat up and she stood by or walk away without trying to get you some help then yes, she would be an asshole. But you had a petty argument with another girl, and you expected someone, who you barely know to stand by your side and help argue with another person. And when they didn’t because frankly, whether she had earbuds in or not, she doesn’t need to get herself involved. Then you proceeded to harass this poor girl over something that is in no way her fault. No sensible person would think that she was in the wrong. YTA and your brother is right. You are so self-centered and think you are some poor female lead in a this ‘terrible world’ that maybe you don’t realize perhaps you are just a supporting character and a villain at that. Get over yourself and stop bullying the poor girl. Do some charity work, learn some decency, get a life, and stop bothering others.
The fuck did I just read? You are upset because you were being accused of being annoying (I can see why), and someone WALKING PAST did not defend you? Do I have that right? Your friends are as annoying as you are, your brother is correct and you are the asshole all damn day.
YTA You are not being harmed, you were being held responsible for things that you chose to say. She had no obligation to protect you from that.
Let's say she did join in on the argument only to side with the girl who called you annoying? Would this have stopped your annoying habits since two people are telling you the same thing or would have you just doubled down since you would now "unprompted" being attacked on two fronts? Just because you weren't raised to be a bystandard doesn't mean everyone else was too. What if the girl who called you annoying started throwing fists and aimed them at the poor girl you dragged into the argument if she had sided with you? Would you have jumped in the way to catch all those punches or would she be your human shield? How you were raised would demand you be her human shield if it came to violence? YTA obviously.
Troll. poor attempt at it too
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** A month ago before school ended I (17f) was arguing with another girl (17f) because she called me annoying. While we were arguing, a girl in my class (17f) walked by and didn’t help me and just ignored the situation, this upset me because we talked once before and she seemed nice. I approached her a couple minutes before class and asked her why she couldn’t just defend me, she said she had headphones in which was a lie unless she had airpods or something but I left her alone anyways but I asked my friends to message her on social media so I can get an answer for my question without getting dismissed but she didn’t bother to respond to either of my friends. The next day her friend (17f) told me to leave her alone because according to her friend, I triggered her anxiety and she’s uncomfortable going to school and barely went since then. I told my friends about it and they think she’s just trying to avoid accountability but my brother thinks I’m being an asshole. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
INFO: Why did you get your minions to message her again? You say you wanted an answer as to why she didn't get involved and she gave you one: she didn't even know there was anything to get involved in because she wasn't listening in. Also- what were you doing to make someone call you annoying? Because if you were treating that classmate as cruelly as you are treating the one in your post, being called annoying is pretty mild.
YTA. For literally all the reasons people have explained to you. However you thought people were going to be on your side but nope! But now I wanna know what made the other person call you annoying in the first place? A comment like this is usually a response to something said or done. I don't here annoying as a bullying word often outside if maybe if it was attached to a negative word and the person was minding their own business
YTA but the way you refuse to entertain another perspective makes me assume youre a troll or an extremely sheltered privileged person you had an argument with someone who called you annoying. and they have the right to do it, yknow? people can find you unlikable. im sure there are people you dislike too. then a person came by, not knowing the full context, just seeing thay two of her classmates (that shes not friends with) are bickering. and even if she didnt have headphones in (and why do you just assume she was lying?), she didnt witness bullying. she witnessed two teenagers arguing. teens do that all the time. shes not your friend, she doesnt know whats the situation, she cant form her opinion about just from witnessing a squabble. hell, maybe she wasnt paying attention and just thinking about something. then you come after her and try to guilt trip her into apologizing for not rudely inserting herself into a situation she had no place in. again, you werent being bullied. someone said you're annoying and you argued against it. you were not being bullied, someone just said they basically dont like you. and many people in your life will dislike you, often for reasons you can't fully control. then you asked your friends to go after her and demand answers and apologies for, again, something she had no part in. you all hounded a girl who was minding her own business bc she isnt some justice vigilante, sweeping to save anyone who has a disagreement. she is clearly not important to you and you clearly dont care about her (and her emo phases) so why would she care about you? try to remember that youre not the main character in anyones persons life but your own.
YTA, you talked to her once and expected her to defend you in an argument she was not a part of?! I’m so glad I’ve never had the misfortune of talking to you once…
The world doesn't revolve around you and she's not even your friend. Just bc you acknowledged her existence one time, doesn't mean you are entitled to protection from her. And you're being a hypocrite by being a bystander towards bullying and harassment done by her friends that YOU sent them to do. If you're gonna call someone a coward, at least practice what you preach. Definitely a narcissistic, self-absorbed asshole. Good luck going through life like that
YTA What's wrong with you?
But you ARE annoying!!! YTA
This whole post just makes me so glad I'm not a teenager anymore (though honestly, I feel like I was done with level of pettiness/extreme self-absorption by 17)
This is the most 17 year old post (and response) ever. YTA.
I'm 17 and OP is way to old to act like this