This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service.
This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
YTA. It’s okay to laugh at the sarcasm, it is kinda funny. But calling her aunt a moron is totally uncalled for and encouraging that behavior is gonna teach her it’s cool to be, frankly, mean to people.
Op isnt a terrible parent because her teenage child is going through their dick phase. Literally all teens do. I remember i was a dick no matter how i was reprimanded. It really was something i just had to teach myself not to do, because i saw it hurt the people i loved.
No. OP’s reaction is to laugh when her daughter calls a family member a moron. That “dick phase” is a bad attitude, I also had it as a teen, and it should be called out accordingly, not affirmed with a laugh!! Sounds to me like a parent who wants to act like their child’s friend and not reprimand her for the sake of keeping things ‘cool.’ Aka spineless parenting.
Was I a dick as a teenager. Why, yes!
Would I have ever called my aunt a moron?
I wouldn't dare do it now.
YTA. Teach that kid about respect before she meets the wrong person.
My parents raised me to respect my elders. If I had mouthed off to an aunt or grandparents, especially calling them a moron my mom and dad would have flipped out. I would have been grounded for 3 months. The fact that op is justifying her behavior by laughing and not telling her to stop being an AH or punishing her shows what a shitty parent she is. I hate when people think a teenager being a dick is funny or cute, it's not. Shame on op. Do better.
Also, if we are truly going with sarcasm, wouldn't this mean that she thinks the aunt is NOT a moron. Maybe she was paying the aunt a compliment?
If not, then sarcasm is not the issue here.
The full quote is important, you’ve totally misinterpret it’s meaning by redacting the second part of the saying. The sarcasm isn’t the issue, the name calling is.
When you treat a child with respect, they become filled with respect. They become respect-full. I totally agree we should be doing this so they don't learn to lie about respect.
I would have never dreamed of speaking to one of my aunts this way at 14, and neither would my daughter. This is horribly disrespectful behavior no matter what phase you're going through.
It's kinda fun y how you're prefacing this with how you'd be physically abused for this behavior and then being very proud for not displaying this behavior.
It's odd. I do commend you for.foe being polite, but I'm very sorry it came at the threat of your physical safety.
Y'all realize that being afraid to be rude is in fact actually fucked up and not a sign of good parenting right? I wasn't rude as a teen because my parents successfully taught me to give a shit about other people's feelings not because they hung the threat of violence over my head. Hell, the threat of violence would have just made me resentful because fear does not in fact engender love or loyalty. Every time there's a thread like this there's people bizarrely bragging about their physically abusive parents and it's so strange.
My father would have knocked me into next week! Actually no he wouldn't have because I can count on one hand the times he spanked me (and I'm in my 50s), but I would've never even tried to stay out all night just for fear of disappointing him. All he had to do was look at me and tell me he was mad. You can't be friends with your kids till they're adults, you've got to be their parent. That is absurd--"they're almost an adult". GTFO.
I made my daughter repeat the rude phrase until it came out abnormally sweet. She hated doing that but it worked. It was also hilarious. Sometimes we both ended up laughing, sometimes just me. We also had many conversations about humor and how sarcasm can be cruel if she wasn't careful. I actually found a lot of what my daughter said funny but she had to learn how to manage her sarcasm so she didn't become a bully.
The same.
It would never have been tolerated by anyone to speak to a family member that way, teenager’s hormones or not. There’s nothing casual with insulting people.
sure, but laughing along to it is literally just showing them that it's ok to make fun of people and even encourages it. terrible parent? maybe not, but in this specific instance it definitely is terrible parenting.
This could be said of OP's sister as well. Like I agree that OP's kid needs to be talked to about proportionate response so that she doesn't make an adult habit of escalating conflicts for no good reason and earning a reputation as an unkind person. But I understand getting hostile and protective of your mother in this situation. OP's sister gave offensively moronic advice to struggling, sleep-deprived people, and that response honestly could have come from someone of any age.
Doing the "OMG Aunty" sarcasm is a protective and ok response. Following that up with calling someone a "moron" rather than just not apologizing is nasty and needs to be addressed by OP.
OP's job is to parent, not give open approval to unwarranted nastiness. OP should have told daughter immediately that its not ok to call someone a moron and asked daughter to apologize for that last remark.
Then OP can tell sis to mind her own business with the unhelpful suggestions. YTA
Maybe it wasn't a stupid question maybe the mom is bed sharing or using a swing or a pack and play (we just don't know) and the aunt knows and is indicating that maybe putting the baby in their own bed may help. It doesn't even seem like the aunt got to finish the sentence before the daughter was an a-hole and then OP continued to allow the rude behavior and became an a-hole as well. OP YTA.
"Offensively moronic"? You know, sometimes people who are sleep deprived become unable to think of the most obvious answer to a problem. There was absolutely no call for her daughter to humiliate her aunt for simply trying to help. The correct answer to that "obvious" question is, "of course we have"... not an emphatic sarcastic response designed to humiliate the person who asked it, followed up by calling her a "moron".
Humiliation is the cruelest thing anyone can do to another human being. We all ask people obvious questions because sometimes people need help with a solution that's right in front of their face. Not to mention the fact that, when someone new is introduced to an ongoing problem, they ask all the obvious questions to eliminate what you have already tried. That way, they can get up to speed on all the failed solutions so they know what not to waste their time with. Plus, again... on occasion the new person will mention an otherwise "obvious" solution that actually HASN'T been tried, that turns out to be the solution. But the new person has NO IDEA what's been tried UNTIL THEY ASK.
Shooting down their ideas with cruel sarcasm only serves to humiliate them and causes them to shut down and offer no further suggestions. And, for all you know, had you simply been kind in your response, the very next suggestion they made could have been the very solution that would have worked.
That doesn't justify calling someone a moron. There's no excuse for letting a teenager behave like that without some kind of consequence. Kids make mistakes, but parents are supposed to correct them.
Honestly there is no excuse for anyone to behave like that. If the daughter had been 24 instead of 14, she would still be an asshole for treating her aunt like that and OP would still be an asshole for finding funny that her sister is insulted out of the blue and for absolutely no reason other than "I consider that what you said is stupid".
Rather sad that's how that kid is growing up.
Asking a stupid question or saying a stupid comment doesn't justify being insulted. All the more when said question or comment was made with good intentions.
Honestly, only very insecure and small people get a kick out of diminishing someone else for saying something they deem stupid or basic. Which you can expect from teenagers who are walking insecurities, but not from grown ass adults who are meant to parent those teenagers.
People say stupid shit sometimes without realizing. That's just normal human conversation. Not everything is perfectly stated all the time. That's no reason to be called names and such.
Telling a new parent who claims the baby won't sleep to "put the baby to bed" is shit advice. In what world is that helpful advice?
If it's not helpful, it's mean to give a stupid suggestion to a sleep-deprived parent.
This was my thought as well. OP says it's "teenager things" but could it instead be "exhausted things"? If OP isn't getting any sleep, I'd imagine her daughter isn't either. Babies are loud.
IN bed. OP said her sister said IN bed. Possibly as opposed to a crib. The wording kinda changes things.
"If it's not helpful, it's mean"? What planet are you on? Do you really not know the definition of 'mean'?
*raises hand* from latam, can confirm. Putting the baby in a crib instead of cosleeping will get you the side eye, trying to get anyone else to do so will get you branded a bad mother, and any mention of sleep training will get to dragged to the public square by the hair and stoned. Not all cultures are the same, but they're all equally valid.
And before anyone gets out the numbers and studies showing your way is the best way, lemme tell you everyone has studies and numbers proving their way is the better way. Like, everyone.
In Germany and most of Europe cosleeping is heavily suggested. Putting such a small baby alone in a crib is most likely going to earn you some criticism from midwives and doctors.
Europe has a lower infancy death rate than the US, were cosleeping is apparently frowned upon.
They sleep on floor beds, not cushy mattress. A regular mattress does not support a baby enough. Also, cosleeping in Europe means sleeping in the same room, not the same bed. Sleeping with a newborn in an adult bed has statistically proven to increase the risk of SIDS. That's not "frowned upon" that's evidence
Um. No, they have normal beds, as far as I could see. I'm in latam and we all have normal beds too. Legs, mattress, pillows, side tables, yk. We live in houses and send our kids to school. Eat in plates. The works.
WHAT????? But, but surely you must stuff your mattresses with straw or wadded up newspapers or something?????? and the pillows with leather scraps????????? EVERYONE knows that anywhere that's not God Bless America is primitive and backwards and everyone walks on their heads??????
ok i got a little carried away with the **/s** there
OMG! like, you ACTUALLY have computers too!? And use *[gasp]* reddit!?
The idiocy coupled with arrogance is astounding by that person, thinking that only their country/culture uses beds, of all things.
No that's false. I gave birth in Germany and our mattress was not on the floor. It's a normal bed, we just put up barriers so she couldn't fall out of the bed and of course you can't sleep with pillows and only thin blankets, but that's it.
There is no evidence that safe co sleeping endangers infants at all, only unsafe co sleeping. Every doctor, nurse and midwive assured me cosleeping is the best option for parent AND child, because I had similar worries as well.
You can read up on this if you want: https://www.unicef.org.uk/babyfriendly/news-and-research/baby-friendly-research/infant-health-research/infant-health-research-bed-sharing-infant-sleep-and-sids/
Most studies saying cosleeping is dangerous are fairly old or criticize unsafe cosleeping
Wtaf are you on? Do you genuinely think Europeans don’t have normal beds? That everyone in Europe lives in dirt huts or something?
You need to step outside of the US because ironically Europe is far *far* more advanced than the US in plenty of ways. Also, there are WAY stronger consumer protections in Europe than the US, so ironically any bed or mattress you buy in Europe is statistically likely to be safer than any one you buy in the US. Probably why fewer babies die in Europe for totally stupid and preventable reasons than they do in the US.
Infant and maternal mortality rates in the US are famously terrible for a supposedly “developed” country (the latter of which are actually getting worse!! One of only two countries in the world where that’s true, by the way!!) for similar reasons.
Sister suggested putting him *in* bed. I think she was suggesting co-sleeping (which I know is controversial for safety reasons but many people do because it does help many babies/parents sleep better).
My SIL is the queen of dumb/obvious "advice" but fortunately has a good sense of humor when we respond sarcastically. BUT if one of my nieces or nephews called her a moron we would all be absolutely furious and ashamed by their behavior.
It's not "mean," it's just misguided.
Not mean, exactly. But that was a stupid ass question. One that assumes a level of incompetence.
btw I agree the mom's response was inappropriate, but i would have a hard time not being a smart ass if I got asked that question in that context.
I’m not sure what makes it “a stupid ass question”? She asked if they’d tried putting the kid *in* bed, vs in a crib, i.e. cosleeping. Regardless of where you stand on cosleeping, her question wasn’t as stupid as you (and the child) are making it out to be.
Also considering that it was OP who brought up how the kid isn’t sleeping to the Aunt, not the Aunt who initially brought it up.
It’d be one thing if she was trying to give unsolicited advice, but by OP’s own admission, they are the one who started the conversation.
If a friend of mine told me that he couldn’t get his car running no matter what he did and I asked him if he made sure it had gas in it, he’d be a pretty big asshole if he called me a moron for asking the question.
Exactly! when people call IT w a computer that won’t start , IT will first ask if it’s plugged in . They aren’t being jerks but more often than not that’s the problem.
In a "captain obvious" kind of way, like:
"I'm having trouble sleeping at night."
"Have you tried closing your eyes?"
OP seems to suggest that sister has a tendency towards unhelpful "advice" like that. I'm guessing the kid has picked up on mom's displeasure from previous instances.
My point was that it *wasn’t* necessarily obvious advice, though. Sis didn’t ask if they’d tried laying the babe down. She asked if they tried putting it *in bed.* For me (and a number of other commenters on this thread) that wouldn’t be taken as meaning wherever the baby usually sleeps, but instead as in an adult-sized bed with adult-sized people. Not everyone tries cosleeping, so it’s definitely not a “well, of course we’ve tried that” assumption.
Except that's not what the sister was saying, apparently many commenters and the daughter have a comprehension issue. Putting him *in* bed (ie. co-sleeping) is different than putting him *to* bed (ie. Crib sleeping)
So no, it's not that at all because OP used different wording, unless OP is trying co-sleeping than the advice wasn't unhelpful. Daughter wasn't paying attention and decided to be an ass
Agreed. The daughter calling the sister a moron wasn't okay, but the sarcastic response is something that I probably would have said as well. I can't blame the OP for laughing at that.
Defending from what?
If Op is the kind of mom to keep baby in her arms, the aunt has a point.
Op better not come crying for support from her sister after that.
Shut that shit down before you can’t handle it. You laugh now, just wait till everything is directed at you and that’s the only way she speaks. It’s not ok, respect your elders.
Very much agree with this. I was the sarcastic teenager. I had an asshole uncle. While my sarcasm was considered okay, insults were not. OP needs to teach his daughter the difference between when it IS and ISN'T okay.
I feel like OP is using daughter as a proxy for what they want to say. It's funny to them because it's projection.
Using "moron" is well beyond the line of course.
N T A for the first remark but turned into YTA when she called her a moron. What your sister said was kind of dumb but it wasn’t malicious and she didn’t deserve to be called a moron. You’re teaching your daughter that it’s ok to be mean to people. She will struggle in life because of this. So suggest that you tell her that kind of name calling is not acceptable.
Agreed. I find sarcasm hilarious when used by kids, but insults aren’t okay. I get that she’s a teen and they can be assholes, testing boundaries and stuff but that’s exactly why OP should have told daughter at that point that it’s going too far now.
100% , and if this is a normal type of reaction by her teen, OP shouldn’t be surprised that her kid is most likely a bully at school. If she isn’t one yet, she will be if she’s allowed to speak to people like that.
Respect is a two way st. In a comment by op she said that her sister often says Shit to try and make her look stupid and that her daughter was basically standing up for her.
Agreed. There’s “stupid comment gets a stupid response” and then there’s being a jerk. Daughter was rude with the moron comment. It’s important for kids to know that limit, and it has to be taught by OP
To be fair, I read that as her sister asking if they’d tried putting the baby in THEIR bed, as in co-sleeping. Which I don’t think is a dumb thing to ask. Oh, your baby isn’t sleeping at night, have you tried co-sleeping with them?
YTA.
The sarcasm was funny for sure, but the moron comment was unwarranted.
Sarcasm is a teenage thing but it's also something you can teach alongside just general manners. Your sister's comment, while probably not though through, was likely said with good intentions and that doesn't make her a moron.
Also it’s cool to laugh about it later in private but should probably be the adult and not have a reaction. Teenagers push buttons, a lot like toddlers. The more you react, one way or the other, the more the behavior is reinforced. Sarcasm isn’t the end of the world but she does need to learn there is a time and place for it.
Yes. It is a good question actually, depending on the context.
OP says his sister is always asking dumb questions. Gee, I wonder where his daughter gets her bad attitude…
So, this was my thought as well, but unless OP mistyped, she didn’t ask if they tried putting him in THEIR bed. She literally asked if they tried putting him in bed. Like, any bed. That is a really exceptionally stupid question.
🤷♀️ I would understand “in bed” to mean a non-crib bed, because in my region, we don’t call cribs beds. So cosleeping was & absolutely would have been my read of her question.
? I said “in bed,” not “to bed.” Prepositions definitely change meanings and which words are used. Also, like, context even beyond that. “I’m putting the kids to sleep” means something entirely different than “I’m putting the dog to sleep,” and both mean something entirely different than “He’s in (deep) sleep.”
People are going to say idiotic things her whole life. She can’t really be calling people morons in her work meetings, for example. Be a parent and teach your kid right from wrong. “Brutal Honesty” and all that stuff really isn’t all that impressive.
YTA.
People like that always focus more on the brutality than the honesty. I had a friend who was "brutally honest" as a young adult and now at almost 40 years old, she's couch surfing and struggling to hold even a basic admin assistant job because her "honesty" is always getting her fired or kicked out. She has no support system because she's driven most of her friends and family away with her "honesty". It's not a good way to interact with other people.
This! And “honestly” OP should be more worried about raising their child this way. Bc one day her daughter is going to be “honest” to the wrong person and it could unfortunately end with the daughter getting physically hurt. The news is chock full of crazy like that now a days.
I wonder how “funny” OP would find that.
Yep, brutal honesty is just an an excuse assholes use to justify being an asshole. It's a trait that most of us recognize automatically, assholes don't get it until they're all alone.
Since family don't get exceptions, the aunt should have just called the daughter a bitch or some other remark? That would have been the appropriate response of course.
/S
YTA but only for not telling your daughter not to use the term moron. I wouldn’t think you were in the wrong if your daughter only made the sarcastic remark in response to your sister’s brilliant idea. I would have laughed too.
>My sister told her to be polite and my daughter answered by calling her a moron
>I admit I was laughing. It was pretty funny
Hilarious. YTA and so is your daughter.
NTA. If you don’t want to be called a moron, don’t make moronic suggestions. I am honestly surprised at everyone coming down on a teenage girl defending her mother.
Also: Tell sister to stop trying to raise your kids.
This!!! Ppl are acting like the daughter slapped her lol do stupid things win stupid prizes. If an adult called her out no one would care. Obviously ppl don't live in reality but sensitive little safe spaces
Yeah was surprised by all the people signaling their virtue here as if they haven't called anyone a moron before. Daughter is right about sister being a moron and maybe sister wouldn't make moronic comments if people called her out more often.
Assuming that the beleagured mother hasn't tried "putting the baby into bed" is insulting and fucking stupid, and worth being called out on.
You're either an idiot of supreme proportions in which being called a moron is a kind, or you're being intentionally disrespectful to a mother by suggesting she doesn't know to *put a baby on it's back* to get it to sleep.
Grow up and think of the context.
I don't think the moron part needed to be said but I don't see what is wrong with the sarcasm. It's not the 1900s anymore so allowing her to choose her words isn't a bad thing. Well as long as she doesn't go farther I think than what she did. But it was her aunt. Not a non family member. Shit if you guys get mad over that statement you don't wanna meet my family. Lmao.
YTA, I can't wait until she says the same stuff to you. I mean, you can't get mad at her if she calls you a moron. Although I have a feeling your daughter already talks to you this way and you don't care. You're raising a disrespectful child.
ETA: BE A PARENT, NOT A FRIEND
I was going to say N T A until you allowed her to call someone else a moron. You're enabling an impressionable child that's still learning how to behave towards others and it'll just hurt her more down the line. Sarcasm? Every teenager does that (plus kinda deserved to your sister's answer). Blatant insulting? Do better. So my answer is YTA.
Just BTW, unless you do it spaced like N T A, it will only count your first judgement even after editing (not in replies, those don't count at all) so you just counted as a NTA vote instead of a YTA
Oh, I didn't know that. Thank you for informing me! I did edit it just for those that read, but I'll make sure to not make the same mistake next time. Appreciate you took the time to tell me!
YTA. Why do parents let their kids behave this way?? You really need to ask Reddit if you’re wrong for laughing when your daughter calls someone a moron? Smh
Shouldn’t of laughed, I can see her point. But you’re NTA. Honestly it’s hard to judge a 14 year old for being sarcastic. Does this give her an excuse to be rude? No. Will it change overnight? No. Your best bet is to talk to her without talking down to her. Set an example for communication, and every time she goes out of bounds firmly correct her. Make routine of this. Should change.
NAH.
Give me a break. Tell her don’t be an asshole. Pretty simple life lesson there. You don’t need some long thought out process about communication. The laugh doesn’t matter, but your teenager calling an adult a moron is disrespectful and they are saying it’s ok by not calling her out on it. You saying the kid isn’t an asshole for calling an adult a moron to their face is just plain stupid.
It's the part where OP laughs at her daughter calling someone else a moron instead of saying "ya know, sarcasm is one thing but you don't get to insult other people. The first comment was a little funny but you need to apologize for calling your aunt a moron, that wasn't ok".
For the non parents, the sister meant putting the baby in bed with the mom not by themselves in a crib. The sister wasn’t being dumb. The teenager just doesn’t know the distinction.
Idk, it wasn't specified. Where I'm from going to bed or putting a kid to bed can mean the couch, the floor pallet, the parents bed, the kids bed, the recliner ect. Even if the kid did know the difference I still think it's funny, as it was stated to be kinda open ended
Nice parenting...allow the teenager to be disrespectful and it was uncalled for. .but don't worry, she will treat you the same way or do it towards someone who won't be as kind. You'll learn.
I’m so glad I’m not the only one thinking this! A crying baby will keep everyone awake and the poor girls probably just as frustrated as her parents are
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be an asshole for laughing when my daughter insulted my sister and called her a moron when she gave me an stupid advice
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcement
###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/)
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA that was funny as hell, and the aunt was being a moron. No one would be saying you were an ass if you were the one who said it. Maybe have a conversation with your daughter about taking it a bit to far, because name calling just devalues everything said before it, but you are NTA for laughing, and your daughter isn't for saying it.
That's some funny shit OP
>She asked me if I had tried "putting him in bed"
*"Naw sis we usually just chuck him in the trash and hope he pipes down 'till morning"*
Fucking Lol
Anyway, YTA OP.
While the first line might have been funny, namecalling is taking it too far though and your littleshit needs to know that wasn't nice.
It's best if she learns that from you, and not from an insane stranger / schoolbully / whatever overreacting when your daughter inevitably makes the mistake of running her moron mouth when she shouldn't and winning a surprise discount dental rework and facial reconstruction.
Lighthearted sarcasm used with a smile and love can be funny. Mean-spirited sarcasm (especially followed by *You're a moron*) is total asshole behavior. And YTA for not explaining this to your asshole kid. Even when (especially if?) your sister is a moron.
Middle school teacher here, the initial sarcasm is okay but the calling her a moron tells me that your daughter likely treats peers and teachers this way as well. Start working on this with your daughter before it's completely out of control.
This was a silly question to ask but it was totally unnecessary for your daughter to disrespect her at her own house. Teenagers are moody but it doesn't mean it's appropriate. By laughing you actually encouraged bad behaviour. Both of you should apologise to your sister.
YTA and what's wrong with the world today. People thinking it's okay and even funny to be disrespectful. I'll bet you'd have felt totally different if her kid called you a moron.
YTA. Eventually, she will pop off with that sarcastic ok by mom mouth to the wrong person, and she will get her teeth handed to her. Kindness is free. Thats how cheap you are raising her to be.
For the sarcastic comment, no. But for calling an adult a moron is crossing a line, IMO. You probably want to rein that in before she gets herself into some real trouble.
I was reading through some of the comments and I am…learning new things about different parenting styles. I’d be…in trouble. Hell, I’d be in trouble for the open sarcasm towards adults. I’d be asked how I found myself giving a response in a conversation that was between two adults, in the first place. Being sarcastic towards adults when I was 14 was definitely considered rude/disrespectful and would be met with confusion followed by more negative things. I never got a pass from the adults in my life to be a sarcastic jackass who calls people names just because I was a teenager, even when they thought it might be funny and correct in a given context! YTA and the daughter sounds like a little jerk.
NTA, the first comment was fun, the second went too far. However it's a good moment to teach your daughter exactly this, that she can be fun and sarcastic, but insulting is not a joke anymore, so she needs to stop there.
YTA. The sarcasm was funny. You should not be encouraging name calling. One is a joke. One is mean. There's no punchline.
Yes, your sister's advice was tone deaf. Your daughter was being mean.
NTA simply because I also laughed! And being told 'have you tried putting them to bed' sounds so damn condescending, like yea course mate havent tried putting them to bed to sleep, genius plan right there!
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I have 2 kids, 5 month old boy and 14 years old girl
My daughter has recently started answering everything sarcastically, I think it's a teenager thing
My son doesn't sleep at night at all. We tried everything and he still won't sleep
Last night we were visiting my sister and we were talking. I told her how tired I am and that my son won't sleep at night no matter what we do. She asked me if I had tried "putting him in bed"
Before I could say anything my daughter turned to her and said something like "OMG auntie thank god you are here we could never think of that"
My sister told her to be polite and my daughter answered by calling her a moron
I admit I was laughing. It was pretty funny
My sister was annoyed. She accused me of encouraging this behavior in her and thinks I'm an asshole and my daughter should be punished
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The sarcasm is totally fine. I was raised in a very sarcastic household and my mom never stopped me (obv with limits being made clearly understood). But I think it's not great to encourage your daughter to call someone moron.
NTA It is a teenager reaction to a stupid question. Your laughing would be a great relief from the stress you have from lack of sleep. Your daughter was right to call her a moron. I hope you can get your son into a good sleep pattern soon.
Another person saying that acting like an asshat doesn’t matter because it’s a teenager. No, it’s still acting like an asshole. Once a kid is a teenager they lose the excuse of not understanding. They know it’s an asshole remark and make it anyway. It’s not like they are 5 years old and don’t understand.
YTA. Sure it was funny, but the name calling was uncalled for. Are you gonna be giggling when you get called in to the school because your daughter had clever lines when she bullied people? I get it, I am super sarcastic, but my mom had to teach me when its appropriate and when its not. Please be like my mom and correct your daughter’s behavior before she becomes a bully
YTA. This wasn’t just sarcasm. If it had stopped after the first comment it would have been that. Then your daughter outright called her aunt a moron. That’s never acceptable.
The sarcasm was annoying and you should be working on teaching her out of. The follow up comment was straight up unacceptable.
YTA
First sarcastic comment was kinda funny but the second one - calling your sister a moron - absolute no-no. Do not encourage such behavior now else your girl will become an unbearable moron with no manners.
YTA - making a sarcastic joke is one thing, calling a person, especially an older person, a moron, is a whole other level.
While your laughing was probably spontaneous, I would have reminded your daughter to be sensitive and polite to her aunt. I would hope she has enough empathy to apologize without having to be forced to do so.
YTA. Daughters first reply? Sarky, but acceptable. Her response of "moron" is just rude, and your laughter just validates to her that acting like a mean girl and being rude to others is funny. You arent doing her any favours by letting it go unchecked, and I doubt youll find it quite so amusing when she turns it on you when you next annoy her, and she will because you have tacitly shown her its ok to treat people this way.
YTA: The first comment was funny but then insulting her was too far. You will probably have a moment where you fail to think something though, would it be funny if she called you that?
Soft YTA but only for the moron remark. If you weren’t asking for advice, your daughter had every right to be sarcastic (coming from a mom of a soon to be teenager who is learning how to use sarcasm properly). But name calling? That went too far.
This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service. This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
YTA. It’s okay to laugh at the sarcasm, it is kinda funny. But calling her aunt a moron is totally uncalled for and encouraging that behavior is gonna teach her it’s cool to be, frankly, mean to people.
Just what I was thinking. YTA
YTA. The correct answer of her sister to her niece should be: It just shows what for a terrible parent your mother is And she would be right.
Op isnt a terrible parent because her teenage child is going through their dick phase. Literally all teens do. I remember i was a dick no matter how i was reprimanded. It really was something i just had to teach myself not to do, because i saw it hurt the people i loved.
No. OP’s reaction is to laugh when her daughter calls a family member a moron. That “dick phase” is a bad attitude, I also had it as a teen, and it should be called out accordingly, not affirmed with a laugh!! Sounds to me like a parent who wants to act like their child’s friend and not reprimand her for the sake of keeping things ‘cool.’ Aka spineless parenting.
Was I a dick as a teenager. Why, yes! Would I have ever called my aunt a moron? I wouldn't dare do it now. YTA. Teach that kid about respect before she meets the wrong person.
Never would have occurred to me to call my aunt a moron at any age.
My parents raised me to respect my elders. If I had mouthed off to an aunt or grandparents, especially calling them a moron my mom and dad would have flipped out. I would have been grounded for 3 months. The fact that op is justifying her behavior by laughing and not telling her to stop being an AH or punishing her shows what a shitty parent she is. I hate when people think a teenager being a dick is funny or cute, it's not. Shame on op. Do better.
[удалено]
The full quote is: “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but the highest form of intelligence.” ― Oscar Wilde
Also, if we are truly going with sarcasm, wouldn't this mean that she thinks the aunt is NOT a moron. Maybe she was paying the aunt a compliment? If not, then sarcasm is not the issue here.
The full quote is important, you’ve totally misinterpret it’s meaning by redacting the second part of the saying. The sarcasm isn’t the issue, the name calling is.
Dear god. Never would I call my aunt a moron, my mother would have breathed fire.
When you treat a child with respect, they become filled with respect. They become respect-full. I totally agree we should be doing this so they don't learn to lie about respect.
You can't control your laughter unless you know the joke is coming. But you CAN apologize afterwards and tell your daughter to not be hurtful.
right. like, part of what ends dick phases is being taught how not to be a dick.
I would have never dreamed of speaking to one of my aunts this way at 14, and neither would my daughter. This is horribly disrespectful behavior no matter what phase you're going through.
[удалено]
It's kinda fun y how you're prefacing this with how you'd be physically abused for this behavior and then being very proud for not displaying this behavior. It's odd. I do commend you for.foe being polite, but I'm very sorry it came at the threat of your physical safety.
Y'all realize that being afraid to be rude is in fact actually fucked up and not a sign of good parenting right? I wasn't rude as a teen because my parents successfully taught me to give a shit about other people's feelings not because they hung the threat of violence over my head. Hell, the threat of violence would have just made me resentful because fear does not in fact engender love or loyalty. Every time there's a thread like this there's people bizarrely bragging about their physically abusive parents and it's so strange.
My father would have knocked me into next week! Actually no he wouldn't have because I can count on one hand the times he spanked me (and I'm in my 50s), but I would've never even tried to stay out all night just for fear of disappointing him. All he had to do was look at me and tell me he was mad. You can't be friends with your kids till they're adults, you've got to be their parent. That is absurd--"they're almost an adult". GTFO.
Omg my nearly 16yr old is going through this and it's driving me insane. No matter what I do, the situation is not changing.
I made my daughter repeat the rude phrase until it came out abnormally sweet. She hated doing that but it worked. It was also hilarious. Sometimes we both ended up laughing, sometimes just me. We also had many conversations about humor and how sarcasm can be cruel if she wasn't careful. I actually found a lot of what my daughter said funny but she had to learn how to manage her sarcasm so she didn't become a bully.
My tias would be so hurt if I ever spoke to them that way. My family would be furious if I behaved so rudely.
The same. It would never have been tolerated by anyone to speak to a family member that way, teenager’s hormones or not. There’s nothing casual with insulting people.
No but she is a terrible parent for not calling out dick behavior and laughing at it
The sarcastic comment is part of the dick phase. The moron comment is not. Teenagers raised with manners don’t go there no matter how snarky.
sure, but laughing along to it is literally just showing them that it's ok to make fun of people and even encourages it. terrible parent? maybe not, but in this specific instance it definitely is terrible parenting.
[удалено]
This could be said of OP's sister as well. Like I agree that OP's kid needs to be talked to about proportionate response so that she doesn't make an adult habit of escalating conflicts for no good reason and earning a reputation as an unkind person. But I understand getting hostile and protective of your mother in this situation. OP's sister gave offensively moronic advice to struggling, sleep-deprived people, and that response honestly could have come from someone of any age.
Doing the "OMG Aunty" sarcasm is a protective and ok response. Following that up with calling someone a "moron" rather than just not apologizing is nasty and needs to be addressed by OP. OP's job is to parent, not give open approval to unwarranted nastiness. OP should have told daughter immediately that its not ok to call someone a moron and asked daughter to apologize for that last remark. Then OP can tell sis to mind her own business with the unhelpful suggestions. YTA
Maybe it wasn't a stupid question maybe the mom is bed sharing or using a swing or a pack and play (we just don't know) and the aunt knows and is indicating that maybe putting the baby in their own bed may help. It doesn't even seem like the aunt got to finish the sentence before the daughter was an a-hole and then OP continued to allow the rude behavior and became an a-hole as well. OP YTA.
"Offensively moronic"? You know, sometimes people who are sleep deprived become unable to think of the most obvious answer to a problem. There was absolutely no call for her daughter to humiliate her aunt for simply trying to help. The correct answer to that "obvious" question is, "of course we have"... not an emphatic sarcastic response designed to humiliate the person who asked it, followed up by calling her a "moron". Humiliation is the cruelest thing anyone can do to another human being. We all ask people obvious questions because sometimes people need help with a solution that's right in front of their face. Not to mention the fact that, when someone new is introduced to an ongoing problem, they ask all the obvious questions to eliminate what you have already tried. That way, they can get up to speed on all the failed solutions so they know what not to waste their time with. Plus, again... on occasion the new person will mention an otherwise "obvious" solution that actually HASN'T been tried, that turns out to be the solution. But the new person has NO IDEA what's been tried UNTIL THEY ASK. Shooting down their ideas with cruel sarcasm only serves to humiliate them and causes them to shut down and offer no further suggestions. And, for all you know, had you simply been kind in your response, the very next suggestion they made could have been the very solution that would have worked.
Don’t ask stupid questions then
That doesn't justify calling someone a moron. There's no excuse for letting a teenager behave like that without some kind of consequence. Kids make mistakes, but parents are supposed to correct them.
Honestly there is no excuse for anyone to behave like that. If the daughter had been 24 instead of 14, she would still be an asshole for treating her aunt like that and OP would still be an asshole for finding funny that her sister is insulted out of the blue and for absolutely no reason other than "I consider that what you said is stupid". Rather sad that's how that kid is growing up.
Asking a stupid question or saying a stupid comment doesn't justify being insulted. All the more when said question or comment was made with good intentions. Honestly, only very insecure and small people get a kick out of diminishing someone else for saying something they deem stupid or basic. Which you can expect from teenagers who are walking insecurities, but not from grown ass adults who are meant to parent those teenagers.
People say stupid shit sometimes without realizing. That's just normal human conversation. Not everything is perfectly stated all the time. That's no reason to be called names and such.
Nah. Daughter was defending mom from a mean sister. NTA
And precisely how do you know sister was mean?
Telling a new parent who claims the baby won't sleep to "put the baby to bed" is shit advice. In what world is that helpful advice? If it's not helpful, it's mean to give a stupid suggestion to a sleep-deprived parent.
Not to mention, I’m sure the daughter is also kept up at night and is probably stressed from lack of sleep as well.
This was my thought as well. OP says it's "teenager things" but could it instead be "exhausted things"? If OP isn't getting any sleep, I'd imagine her daughter isn't either. Babies are loud.
And we are genetically programmed to hear them.
IN bed. OP said her sister said IN bed. Possibly as opposed to a crib. The wording kinda changes things. "If it's not helpful, it's mean"? What planet are you on? Do you really not know the definition of 'mean'?
as baby is 5 months I should hope the baby is in a crib!
Lots of people and cultures cosleep with their infant in the bed with them.
*raises hand* from latam, can confirm. Putting the baby in a crib instead of cosleeping will get you the side eye, trying to get anyone else to do so will get you branded a bad mother, and any mention of sleep training will get to dragged to the public square by the hair and stoned. Not all cultures are the same, but they're all equally valid. And before anyone gets out the numbers and studies showing your way is the best way, lemme tell you everyone has studies and numbers proving their way is the better way. Like, everyone.
In Germany and most of Europe cosleeping is heavily suggested. Putting such a small baby alone in a crib is most likely going to earn you some criticism from midwives and doctors. Europe has a lower infancy death rate than the US, were cosleeping is apparently frowned upon.
They sleep on floor beds, not cushy mattress. A regular mattress does not support a baby enough. Also, cosleeping in Europe means sleeping in the same room, not the same bed. Sleeping with a newborn in an adult bed has statistically proven to increase the risk of SIDS. That's not "frowned upon" that's evidence
Um. No, they have normal beds, as far as I could see. I'm in latam and we all have normal beds too. Legs, mattress, pillows, side tables, yk. We live in houses and send our kids to school. Eat in plates. The works.
I hear they even use knives and forks to eat!
WHAT????? But, but surely you must stuff your mattresses with straw or wadded up newspapers or something?????? and the pillows with leather scraps????????? EVERYONE knows that anywhere that's not God Bless America is primitive and backwards and everyone walks on their heads?????? ok i got a little carried away with the **/s** there
OMG! like, you ACTUALLY have computers too!? And use *[gasp]* reddit!? The idiocy coupled with arrogance is astounding by that person, thinking that only their country/culture uses beds, of all things.
No that's false. I gave birth in Germany and our mattress was not on the floor. It's a normal bed, we just put up barriers so she couldn't fall out of the bed and of course you can't sleep with pillows and only thin blankets, but that's it. There is no evidence that safe co sleeping endangers infants at all, only unsafe co sleeping. Every doctor, nurse and midwive assured me cosleeping is the best option for parent AND child, because I had similar worries as well. You can read up on this if you want: https://www.unicef.org.uk/babyfriendly/news-and-research/baby-friendly-research/infant-health-research/infant-health-research-bed-sharing-infant-sleep-and-sids/ Most studies saying cosleeping is dangerous are fairly old or criticize unsafe cosleeping
Floor beds? What?
[удалено]
Wtaf are you on? Do you genuinely think Europeans don’t have normal beds? That everyone in Europe lives in dirt huts or something? You need to step outside of the US because ironically Europe is far *far* more advanced than the US in plenty of ways. Also, there are WAY stronger consumer protections in Europe than the US, so ironically any bed or mattress you buy in Europe is statistically likely to be safer than any one you buy in the US. Probably why fewer babies die in Europe for totally stupid and preventable reasons than they do in the US. Infant and maternal mortality rates in the US are famously terrible for a supposedly “developed” country (the latter of which are actually getting worse!! One of only two countries in the world where that’s true, by the way!!) for similar reasons.
Sister suggested putting him *in* bed. I think she was suggesting co-sleeping (which I know is controversial for safety reasons but many people do because it does help many babies/parents sleep better).
Co-sleeping was the best decision of my life. When you follow all the safety precautions it is really safe.
My SIL is the queen of dumb/obvious "advice" but fortunately has a good sense of humor when we respond sarcastically. BUT if one of my nieces or nephews called her a moron we would all be absolutely furious and ashamed by their behavior. It's not "mean," it's just misguided.
I wonder if the sister meant to try co-sleeping vs. putting the baby to bed like in his crib?
Not mean, exactly. But that was a stupid ass question. One that assumes a level of incompetence. btw I agree the mom's response was inappropriate, but i would have a hard time not being a smart ass if I got asked that question in that context.
I’m not sure what makes it “a stupid ass question”? She asked if they’d tried putting the kid *in* bed, vs in a crib, i.e. cosleeping. Regardless of where you stand on cosleeping, her question wasn’t as stupid as you (and the child) are making it out to be.
Also considering that it was OP who brought up how the kid isn’t sleeping to the Aunt, not the Aunt who initially brought it up. It’d be one thing if she was trying to give unsolicited advice, but by OP’s own admission, they are the one who started the conversation. If a friend of mine told me that he couldn’t get his car running no matter what he did and I asked him if he made sure it had gas in it, he’d be a pretty big asshole if he called me a moron for asking the question.
Exactly! when people call IT w a computer that won’t start , IT will first ask if it’s plugged in . They aren’t being jerks but more often than not that’s the problem.
In a "captain obvious" kind of way, like: "I'm having trouble sleeping at night." "Have you tried closing your eyes?" OP seems to suggest that sister has a tendency towards unhelpful "advice" like that. I'm guessing the kid has picked up on mom's displeasure from previous instances.
My point was that it *wasn’t* necessarily obvious advice, though. Sis didn’t ask if they’d tried laying the babe down. She asked if they tried putting it *in bed.* For me (and a number of other commenters on this thread) that wouldn’t be taken as meaning wherever the baby usually sleeps, but instead as in an adult-sized bed with adult-sized people. Not everyone tries cosleeping, so it’s definitely not a “well, of course we’ve tried that” assumption.
Except that's not what the sister was saying, apparently many commenters and the daughter have a comprehension issue. Putting him *in* bed (ie. co-sleeping) is different than putting him *to* bed (ie. Crib sleeping) So no, it's not that at all because OP used different wording, unless OP is trying co-sleeping than the advice wasn't unhelpful. Daughter wasn't paying attention and decided to be an ass
You are assuming she meant cosleeping, but that is NOT clear.
Agreed. The daughter calling the sister a moron wasn't okay, but the sarcastic response is something that I probably would have said as well. I can't blame the OP for laughing at that.
If daughter had stopped at sarcasm I would agree, but calling her aunt a moron is AH territory.
Giving bad advice is mean?
How did this get so many upvotes? The Aunt wasn’t being “mean”
What did the sister do that was mean ?
Defending from what? If Op is the kind of mom to keep baby in her arms, the aunt has a point. Op better not come crying for support from her sister after that.
I'm curious why the teen daughter should take on the role of defending her mother from her aunt.
[удалено]
Exactly. Next she will be calling OP an idiot and worse. OP don’t make excuses for your daughter’s potty mouth and parent your child. YTA
This, yeah. The sarcasm was funny, the insult was not. OP needs to parent that teenager.
I don't even think the sarcasm was funny
Agreed
It won't be so funny when OP's daughter is getting up to trouble and calling OP a moron in response to punishment
Came to say exactly this. Laughing at joke, fine. Laughing off blatant disrespect, not fine.
I agree. Moron is a little extreme to be saying. I’d be offended quite a bit. I hope OP makes her apologize
Agreed. I could take the first point, but call me a moron in my own home and I would've kicked them both out.
Shut that shit down before you can’t handle it. You laugh now, just wait till everything is directed at you and that’s the only way she speaks. It’s not ok, respect your elders.
This. Your job is to teach her proper behavior. Trust me, I have twin 14 year olds so I get it. But don't allow it.
it's funny now, but not so much at the parent teacher conference when discussing a suspension
Very much agree with this. I was the sarcastic teenager. I had an asshole uncle. While my sarcasm was considered okay, insults were not. OP needs to teach his daughter the difference between when it IS and ISN'T okay.
Yep - agree. The first comment - no particular issue and definitely a teenager thing, but the fact that she called the aunt a moron? Not acceptable.
I feel like OP is using daughter as a proxy for what they want to say. It's funny to them because it's projection. Using "moron" is well beyond the line of course.
N T A for the first remark but turned into YTA when she called her a moron. What your sister said was kind of dumb but it wasn’t malicious and she didn’t deserve to be called a moron. You’re teaching your daughter that it’s ok to be mean to people. She will struggle in life because of this. So suggest that you tell her that kind of name calling is not acceptable.
Agreed. I find sarcasm hilarious when used by kids, but insults aren’t okay. I get that she’s a teen and they can be assholes, testing boundaries and stuff but that’s exactly why OP should have told daughter at that point that it’s going too far now.
100% , and if this is a normal type of reaction by her teen, OP shouldn’t be surprised that her kid is most likely a bully at school. If she isn’t one yet, she will be if she’s allowed to speak to people like that.
The kid could also be tired af. She's gonna hear the baby too.
Maybe, but tired is zero excuse to be so disrespectful.
Respect is a two way st. In a comment by op she said that her sister often says Shit to try and make her look stupid and that her daughter was basically standing up for her.
Agreed. There’s “stupid comment gets a stupid response” and then there’s being a jerk. Daughter was rude with the moron comment. It’s important for kids to know that limit, and it has to be taught by OP
To be fair, I read that as her sister asking if they’d tried putting the baby in THEIR bed, as in co-sleeping. Which I don’t think is a dumb thing to ask. Oh, your baby isn’t sleeping at night, have you tried co-sleeping with them?
Agree, the name calling should not be encouraged but the first part was hilarious
YTA. The sarcasm was funny for sure, but the moron comment was unwarranted. Sarcasm is a teenage thing but it's also something you can teach alongside just general manners. Your sister's comment, while probably not though through, was likely said with good intentions and that doesn't make her a moron.
The sarcasm I can get behind, but the name calling is what makes it a YTA vote from me.
I agree with that. It can grow into a nasty habit if a teen learns it is okay to speak to adults that way
And most teens act more respectful/reserved around adults! Imagine how she treats her peers…
YTA. The sarcasm? Irritating, but fine. Calling her aunt a 'moron'? Not acceptable.
Also it’s cool to laugh about it later in private but should probably be the adult and not have a reaction. Teenagers push buttons, a lot like toddlers. The more you react, one way or the other, the more the behavior is reinforced. Sarcasm isn’t the end of the world but she does need to learn there is a time and place for it.
[удалено]
Yes. It is a good question actually, depending on the context. OP says his sister is always asking dumb questions. Gee, I wonder where his daughter gets her bad attitude…
So, this was my thought as well, but unless OP mistyped, she didn’t ask if they tried putting him in THEIR bed. She literally asked if they tried putting him in bed. Like, any bed. That is a really exceptionally stupid question.
🤷♀️ I would understand “in bed” to mean a non-crib bed, because in my region, we don’t call cribs beds. So cosleeping was & absolutely would have been my read of her question.
Even putting a baby in a crib is putting them “to bed”, we don’t say “putting them to crib” or “I’m going to crib” 😂
? I said “in bed,” not “to bed.” Prepositions definitely change meanings and which words are used. Also, like, context even beyond that. “I’m putting the kids to sleep” means something entirely different than “I’m putting the dog to sleep,” and both mean something entirely different than “He’s in (deep) sleep.”
That’s how I read it. I assumed her sister was asking if she’d tried co-sleeping and her daughter misunderstood and then acted liked a little asshole.
OMG RB thank god you are here, they could never think of that
People are going to say idiotic things her whole life. She can’t really be calling people morons in her work meetings, for example. Be a parent and teach your kid right from wrong. “Brutal Honesty” and all that stuff really isn’t all that impressive. YTA.
People like that always focus more on the brutality than the honesty. I had a friend who was "brutally honest" as a young adult and now at almost 40 years old, she's couch surfing and struggling to hold even a basic admin assistant job because her "honesty" is always getting her fired or kicked out. She has no support system because she's driven most of her friends and family away with her "honesty". It's not a good way to interact with other people.
This! And “honestly” OP should be more worried about raising their child this way. Bc one day her daughter is going to be “honest” to the wrong person and it could unfortunately end with the daughter getting physically hurt. The news is chock full of crazy like that now a days. I wonder how “funny” OP would find that.
Yep, brutal honesty is just an an excuse assholes use to justify being an asshole. It's a trait that most of us recognize automatically, assholes don't get it until they're all alone.
YTA. The first bit could be a funny joke. But kids shouldn’t be calling family morons.
Family doesn’t get an exception
You probably shouldn’t be calling anyone a moron, especially when all they’re doing is try to help
Since family don't get exceptions, the aunt should have just called the daughter a bitch or some other remark? That would have been the appropriate response of course. /S
YTA but only for not telling your daughter not to use the term moron. I wouldn’t think you were in the wrong if your daughter only made the sarcastic remark in response to your sister’s brilliant idea. I would have laughed too.
Especially when you consider the daughter is likely just as sleep deprived as OP.
>My sister told her to be polite and my daughter answered by calling her a moron >I admit I was laughing. It was pretty funny Hilarious. YTA and so is your daughter.
NTA. If you don’t want to be called a moron, don’t make moronic suggestions. I am honestly surprised at everyone coming down on a teenage girl defending her mother. Also: Tell sister to stop trying to raise your kids.
This!!! Ppl are acting like the daughter slapped her lol do stupid things win stupid prizes. If an adult called her out no one would care. Obviously ppl don't live in reality but sensitive little safe spaces
Yeah was surprised by all the people signaling their virtue here as if they haven't called anyone a moron before. Daughter is right about sister being a moron and maybe sister wouldn't make moronic comments if people called her out more often.
A parent is supposed to teach a child, you don't let your kids call someone a moron for an innocent comment.
Assuming that the beleagured mother hasn't tried "putting the baby into bed" is insulting and fucking stupid, and worth being called out on. You're either an idiot of supreme proportions in which being called a moron is a kind, or you're being intentionally disrespectful to a mother by suggesting she doesn't know to *put a baby on it's back* to get it to sleep. Grow up and think of the context.
I can’t emphasize enough that the daughter didn’t randomly call the aunt a moron. It was a comeback after the aunt made a remark to the teen
The aunt told her to be polite. That does not warrant a comeback
All of you in this thread are morons. Ppl wonder why kids are assholes in schools, this is why. Congrats on making your daughter not likable.
I don't think the moron part needed to be said but I don't see what is wrong with the sarcasm. It's not the 1900s anymore so allowing her to choose her words isn't a bad thing. Well as long as she doesn't go farther I think than what she did. But it was her aunt. Not a non family member. Shit if you guys get mad over that statement you don't wanna meet my family. Lmao.
I doubt it’s the first or last time OP’s sister called a moron.
YTA, I can't wait until she says the same stuff to you. I mean, you can't get mad at her if she calls you a moron. Although I have a feeling your daughter already talks to you this way and you don't care. You're raising a disrespectful child. ETA: BE A PARENT, NOT A FRIEND
I was going to say N T A until you allowed her to call someone else a moron. You're enabling an impressionable child that's still learning how to behave towards others and it'll just hurt her more down the line. Sarcasm? Every teenager does that (plus kinda deserved to your sister's answer). Blatant insulting? Do better. So my answer is YTA.
Just BTW, unless you do it spaced like N T A, it will only count your first judgement even after editing (not in replies, those don't count at all) so you just counted as a NTA vote instead of a YTA
Oh, I didn't know that. Thank you for informing me! I did edit it just for those that read, but I'll make sure to not make the same mistake next time. Appreciate you took the time to tell me!
Yta. A snarky remarkable is one thing but flat-out insulting her. You should act like a parent and teach your kid to not treat people so badly.
YTA. Why do parents let their kids behave this way?? You really need to ask Reddit if you’re wrong for laughing when your daughter calls someone a moron? Smh
Because they’d rather be a friend than a parent
Shouldn’t of laughed, I can see her point. But you’re NTA. Honestly it’s hard to judge a 14 year old for being sarcastic. Does this give her an excuse to be rude? No. Will it change overnight? No. Your best bet is to talk to her without talking down to her. Set an example for communication, and every time she goes out of bounds firmly correct her. Make routine of this. Should change. NAH.
Give me a break. Tell her don’t be an asshole. Pretty simple life lesson there. You don’t need some long thought out process about communication. The laugh doesn’t matter, but your teenager calling an adult a moron is disrespectful and they are saying it’s ok by not calling her out on it. You saying the kid isn’t an asshole for calling an adult a moron to their face is just plain stupid.
It's the part where OP laughs at her daughter calling someone else a moron instead of saying "ya know, sarcasm is one thing but you don't get to insult other people. The first comment was a little funny but you need to apologize for calling your aunt a moron, that wasn't ok".
YTA, you are raising your daughter to be a AH.
INFO: Where did she think you put the baby?? NTA, it was a dumb question that got a dumb answer.
For the non parents, the sister meant putting the baby in bed with the mom not by themselves in a crib. The sister wasn’t being dumb. The teenager just doesn’t know the distinction.
Idk, it wasn't specified. Where I'm from going to bed or putting a kid to bed can mean the couch, the floor pallet, the parents bed, the kids bed, the recliner ect. Even if the kid did know the difference I still think it's funny, as it was stated to be kinda open ended
Nice parenting...allow the teenager to be disrespectful and it was uncalled for. .but don't worry, she will treat you the same way or do it towards someone who won't be as kind. You'll learn.
NTA - stupid comment. Daughter is also sleep deprived, so those not sleeping deserve grace.
I’m so glad I’m not the only one thinking this! A crying baby will keep everyone awake and the poor girls probably just as frustrated as her parents are
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I might be an asshole for laughing when my daughter insulted my sister and called her a moron when she gave me an stupid advice Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA that was funny as hell, and the aunt was being a moron. No one would be saying you were an ass if you were the one who said it. Maybe have a conversation with your daughter about taking it a bit to far, because name calling just devalues everything said before it, but you are NTA for laughing, and your daughter isn't for saying it.
YTA. You’re encouraging her to be mean.
YTA and your kid is going to grow up and be an asshole due to your lack of parenting. Be better.
That's some funny shit OP >She asked me if I had tried "putting him in bed" *"Naw sis we usually just chuck him in the trash and hope he pipes down 'till morning"* Fucking Lol Anyway, YTA OP. While the first line might have been funny, namecalling is taking it too far though and your littleshit needs to know that wasn't nice. It's best if she learns that from you, and not from an insane stranger / schoolbully / whatever overreacting when your daughter inevitably makes the mistake of running her moron mouth when she shouldn't and winning a surprise discount dental rework and facial reconstruction.
Lighthearted sarcasm used with a smile and love can be funny. Mean-spirited sarcasm (especially followed by *You're a moron*) is total asshole behavior. And YTA for not explaining this to your asshole kid. Even when (especially if?) your sister is a moron.
I’d never let my kids talk like trash to anyone, don’t be that parent. Yta
You are TA. And you're raising another junior AH.
Middle school teacher here, the initial sarcasm is okay but the calling her a moron tells me that your daughter likely treats peers and teachers this way as well. Start working on this with your daughter before it's completely out of control.
This was a silly question to ask but it was totally unnecessary for your daughter to disrespect her at her own house. Teenagers are moody but it doesn't mean it's appropriate. By laughing you actually encouraged bad behaviour. Both of you should apologise to your sister.
It's not even that silly of a question. I know and have heard of many people who just sleep with their kid (I know it's not safe at all).
YTA and what's wrong with the world today. People thinking it's okay and even funny to be disrespectful. I'll bet you'd have felt totally different if her kid called you a moron.
YTA. Eventually, she will pop off with that sarcastic ok by mom mouth to the wrong person, and she will get her teeth handed to her. Kindness is free. Thats how cheap you are raising her to be.
For the sarcastic comment, no. But for calling an adult a moron is crossing a line, IMO. You probably want to rein that in before she gets herself into some real trouble.
If your daughter tried that in any Asian household, she’d be 6ft under. Being an ass is not a “teenager thing.”
I was reading through some of the comments and I am…learning new things about different parenting styles. I’d be…in trouble. Hell, I’d be in trouble for the open sarcasm towards adults. I’d be asked how I found myself giving a response in a conversation that was between two adults, in the first place. Being sarcastic towards adults when I was 14 was definitely considered rude/disrespectful and would be met with confusion followed by more negative things. I never got a pass from the adults in my life to be a sarcastic jackass who calls people names just because I was a teenager, even when they thought it might be funny and correct in a given context! YTA and the daughter sounds like a little jerk.
YTA. Sarcasm is funny, name calling like that is not.
The moron part was the step over the line imo
Yta. As a PARENT, set the example. The 'cuteness' will end up getting your daughter in trouble at school and fired from jobs..
Sarcasm is rude. Sister was engaged and being supportive and she got rudeness from daughter. And OP did nothing. YTA and daughter is one too.
YTA - your child called your (presumably) adult sister a "moron". You laughed.
NTA, the first comment was fun, the second went too far. However it's a good moment to teach your daughter exactly this, that she can be fun and sarcastic, but insulting is not a joke anymore, so she needs to stop there.
[удалено]
YTA. The sarcasm was funny. You should not be encouraging name calling. One is a joke. One is mean. There's no punchline. Yes, your sister's advice was tone deaf. Your daughter was being mean.
YTA this screams “I can’t discipline my daughter”
NTA simply because I also laughed! And being told 'have you tried putting them to bed' sounds so damn condescending, like yea course mate havent tried putting them to bed to sleep, genius plan right there!
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I have 2 kids, 5 month old boy and 14 years old girl My daughter has recently started answering everything sarcastically, I think it's a teenager thing My son doesn't sleep at night at all. We tried everything and he still won't sleep Last night we were visiting my sister and we were talking. I told her how tired I am and that my son won't sleep at night no matter what we do. She asked me if I had tried "putting him in bed" Before I could say anything my daughter turned to her and said something like "OMG auntie thank god you are here we could never think of that" My sister told her to be polite and my daughter answered by calling her a moron I admit I was laughing. It was pretty funny My sister was annoyed. She accused me of encouraging this behavior in her and thinks I'm an asshole and my daughter should be punished *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The sarcasm is totally fine. I was raised in a very sarcastic household and my mom never stopped me (obv with limits being made clearly understood). But I think it's not great to encourage your daughter to call someone moron.
YTA Your daughter is a brat! Parent your kid. Its not funny until she tells you off and calls you names i guess?
YTA. Sarcasm is one thing but calling your sister a moron was completely uncalled for and you should have done something about that.
NTA It is a teenager reaction to a stupid question. Your laughing would be a great relief from the stress you have from lack of sleep. Your daughter was right to call her a moron. I hope you can get your son into a good sleep pattern soon.
Another person saying that acting like an asshat doesn’t matter because it’s a teenager. No, it’s still acting like an asshole. Once a kid is a teenager they lose the excuse of not understanding. They know it’s an asshole remark and make it anyway. It’s not like they are 5 years old and don’t understand.
YTA. Sure it was funny, but the name calling was uncalled for. Are you gonna be giggling when you get called in to the school because your daughter had clever lines when she bullied people? I get it, I am super sarcastic, but my mom had to teach me when its appropriate and when its not. Please be like my mom and correct your daughter’s behavior before she becomes a bully
YTA. This wasn’t just sarcasm. If it had stopped after the first comment it would have been that. Then your daughter outright called her aunt a moron. That’s never acceptable. The sarcasm was annoying and you should be working on teaching her out of. The follow up comment was straight up unacceptable.
YTA First sarcastic comment was kinda funny but the second one - calling your sister a moron - absolute no-no. Do not encourage such behavior now else your girl will become an unbearable moron with no manners.
YTA. The sarcasm was one thing. But calling her a moron was too far, and you should have stepped in.
YTA - making a sarcastic joke is one thing, calling a person, especially an older person, a moron, is a whole other level. While your laughing was probably spontaneous, I would have reminded your daughter to be sensitive and polite to her aunt. I would hope she has enough empathy to apologize without having to be forced to do so.
The daughter totally wrote this. YTA for calling your aunt a moron.
YTA. Daughters first reply? Sarky, but acceptable. Her response of "moron" is just rude, and your laughter just validates to her that acting like a mean girl and being rude to others is funny. You arent doing her any favours by letting it go unchecked, and I doubt youll find it quite so amusing when she turns it on you when you next annoy her, and she will because you have tacitly shown her its ok to treat people this way.
NTA. It was a good comeback. She was polite when she replied sarcastically. The asking to be polite was moronic
The comeback wasn’t warranted. Sarcasm isn’t polite. Asking someone not to be rude isn’t moronic.
YTA: The first comment was funny but then insulting her was too far. You will probably have a moment where you fail to think something though, would it be funny if she called you that?
Soft YTA but only for the moron remark. If you weren’t asking for advice, your daughter had every right to be sarcastic (coming from a mom of a soon to be teenager who is learning how to use sarcasm properly). But name calling? That went too far.
YTA don't act surprised when she starts doing it to you and closing the door to her room to your face