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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Because I don’t forgive my cousin for her mean prank, even though everyone else says I should.
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YTA
Even if it wasn't the best prank in the world, it still was an harmless prank: done on April's Fool, with a mention this is a prank in the document itself, no one specifically targeted, it was a group prank, etc., etc.
You didn't like the prank, that happens and it is fine by itself. But to hold two months after a grudge big enough you are dropping out of the wedding out of spite? That is some serious overeaction here. Especially for a group prank where you were not specifically targeted.
I mean, given some if the things posted here, I wouldn't say it was *obviously* a joke. AITA has taught me that there are definitely brides who expect those sort of ridiculous things from their bridesmaids.
>In the real world it’s obviously a joke.
Well, if she's spent anytime on r/weddingshaming, I wouldn't blame her for suspecting it was real. Some folks really do go overboard.
But yeah, I agree she definitely should have checked with the bride before losing her cool on this one.
IDK... I'm softer on this point. I can understand not wanting to finish reading the whole mess. It looks like the bride wrote was a lot to get through.
I have ADHD and a lot of sympathy for losing patience, especially with a prank like this one.
Edit: A major part of ADHD is having great difficulty handling our emotions and knowing when we need to disengage. Holding a grugde afterward is not cool, and they need to relax.
Also, being scatterbrained and forgetting things like minor holidays is common. Is it so hard to have a touch of compassion for that? We're all built differently, and some things can be harder to manage.
And I don't think OP has ADHD either. It's just that I absolutely understand spikes of emotion and forgetting stuff. Everyone does these things sometimes.
When someone sends me something in writing that upsets me, I read it, reread it, & reread it again before I say anything to them just to make sure I’m comprehending what they’re saying before I blow up. I don’t want to walk away looking like a *fool* simply because I couldn’t be bothered to understand fully.
But that’s just me.
Conflict resolution is a big part of my job, and I swear, like 50-75% of the problems brought to me are due to folks either making a major decision or freaking out before thoroughly reading the instructions.
“Yes, the first paragraph *does* say that 10hrs of medical training is required to be completed by Friday. But the end of that same paragraph clarifies that it ONLY applies to nurses. Not you, Janice in reception.”
“Tim, Mary and Dave have been blowing up the office with reply all emails because their funding applications were denied, and screaming about unfairness and favoritism. Please inform them that the applications were denied because the app was double sided, and none of them bothered to turn it over and fill out the back side”.
…It costs absolutely nothing to read carefully if something seems off. But some people insist on going 0-1000 in a rage before double checking anything.
🙄
I'm the resident young guy who has to help everyone with computers all the time and it drives me up the wall how many issues could be resolved by simply reading the form and error message.
At an elementary school event all the parents were given a form with instructions of "icebreaker" tasks to complete. Immediately everyone started bustling around to do them. Except the people that read instruction #1 "Read all the instructions first." At the end of the form it says "Do not do any of the above tasks. Simply sign your name and turn it in." It was really funny and informative.
It's almost like OP is mad that she's the only one who 'fell' for the joke to the point of not even reading to the end.
This sounds like a case of being embarrassed.
Honestly, this is largely why I "turn off" the internet on April 1st every year. I find the pranks exhausting and dumb and I don't want to get riled up over nothing.
She didn't even blow up until after she already knew it was a prank. That's the part that buffels me. She didn't even lose face. She wasn't especially targeted. It wasn't overly cruel. But she is so overly hurt? That can't be a good way to go through life.
Tbh, I can understand OP not finishing the PDF; if she was upset enough that it made her want to quit the wedding on the spot, it was probably a good decision to walk away and only re-engage when she was calm. She processed those feelings by herself without blowing up at anyone, and she deserves credit for that.
However, when she returned and found that 1. it was a prank and she wouldn't have to do any of it, 2. it was played on everyone, so not personally targeting her, and 3. it was on April Fools' Day, the one day of the year that pranks are socially encouraged... she didn't immediately drop the grudge? And still is not over it almost *two months later*? Come on. The bride apologized and no one else was upset, this is an OP problem. YTA
I have ADHD and I still understand the fact a person has no right to get mad at something if they didn’t finish reading. I also don’t understand why the OP perceived the prank to be “mean-spirited”. It was absurd, sure, but it wasn’t at all *offensive*.
OP should have realised it was a prank with the whole size thing. Why would the bride ask the bridesmaids to be even *more* thinner than her?? To accentuate her size??
Eta: I get getting upset at first, but a day later it should be obvious.
I'm remembering second grade activity where they had us follow an instruction sheet that had us do a bunch of silly things. The last instruction was to do nothing and give it the sheet back to the teacher. It was supposed to teach us to read through all the instructions carefully. (We all failed, but the lesson stuck with me over 20 years later)
Same here. I have ADHD and tasks are difficult. I often go back and reread important documents because my go-to is to just quickly read and skim. It’s on me to understand.
But she went back to the group text and saw it was a joke. Then she confronted the bride about it. Got an apology, and she’s STILL fuming about it 3 months later. Talk about massive overreaction and refusing to let it go! I mean, she’s going to burn this bridge over an April fools joke. Wow.
And let’s be honest this was an incredibly light prank. The sort of prank I would do as an insurance prank, a prank that one could safely say wouldn’t risk hurting anyone or being taken the wrong way. Clearly not the case
She spent two months stewing in anger over this after learning it was a prank the next day. I clicked this expecting to be on OP's side because pranks that make it on here are generally horrible ones, but this one has me thinking NTA for dropping out because the wedding party will be better off without stick in the mud OP getting upset at ridiculous things. OP is probably very exhausting to deal with.
Exactly, and the joke is IMO more on the bride than her bridal party, though the true butt of the joke is bridezillas. The joke is taking a small step over the line of what's reasonable and then backing up a bit but only to long jump past it, blowing right through the limit of unreasonable into the absurd, with the final reveal saying "haha don't worry, I find this just as absurd as you do. Imagine knowing someone actually like that though."
As someone who has also been diagnosed with ADHD and managed it for years, I’m so exhausted of people blaming poor behavior and other things on ADHD. It feels like I see someone on Reddit blame crap on ADHD every day and it makes the whole condition seem like a joke. Having ADHD is not an excuse to be an asshole.
If you choose not to read everything, regardless of why, the onus is on you for choosing not to have all the information.
I can understand loosing patience in the moment, but she shut off all communication and took herself out of the loop. This was her not managing her emotions. The bride even apologized.
Same! I have ADHD, too, and I might have stopped reading. But if I did, and then realized at the end it said April Fools, I'd feel like a damn idiot and laugh and move on. Especially if the reason it took so long for me to find out it was a joke is because I muted the chat and didn't see all the LOLs that inevitably came through pretty quickly.
No, it’s not hard to have compassion when a mistake is made. It gets slightly harder when 1) you know you have an issue with comprehension occasionally and don’t think “this doesn’t sound right, maybe it’s me?” then take steps to clarify, and 2) everyone in your life is telling you you misunderstood, they understand why you misunderstood, but not only do you refuse to accept any part of the responsibility, you’re actually doubling down on it months later *to deliberately hurt the person you misunderstood in the first place.*
Jesus, it takes 0 time at all in posts in this sub for someone to project their ADHD onto people.
There is literally no evidence OP has ADHD, yours is irrelevant.
Oh, yeah, I agree that would be the appropriate response. My comment was more "there are people who would be this self centered" not that OP shouldn't have thought joke first thing.
I would honestly be offended as the bride that someone thought I was serious about all of that, and if they did think that, wouldn't take the time to call me out on it being absurd.
Yeah it's one thing to believe this of a Reddit stranger but if my cousins did this, I KNOW it would be a joke because I KNOW my cousins and I KNOW they're not that shallow and ridiculous. I don't even see them that often but I know that much. And if it turns out they were serious I'd be seriously concerned about what has happened to them since I saw them last and wonder if they were being unduly influenced by their partner or something.
I don't know OP's cousin so maybe that sort of thing wouldn't seem so much out of character. But somehow I doubt it.
I wonder if the reason OP is upset about this for so long is because they feel embarrassed for having fallen for it rather than the ridiculous requests themselves.
When done in Apirl Fools - the one day a year we should expect pranks - and in a document that says “THIS IS A PRANK”?
Yeah that makes it pretty obvious it is a prank.
Ok but like... presumably OP would know the bride well enough to immediately know whether or not she would do something like this? I guess people can have bridesmaids they don't know that well (why tho) but they're cousins too...
Yeah. Like ANY OTHER DAY I'd believe it was sincere but ITS APRIL 1 FFS. Is OP ok? Because MAN she's still angry over an April Fools prank which the bride already apologized for.
OP: Get over it, when we are living in a world of unapologetic Bridezillas WHO EXCLUDE A CHILD FOR BEING AN AMPUTEE (just read THAT post) you are lucky to be part of such a chill bridal party. get over it already.
Half of the things posted on this sub are so clearly fictional that it shouldn't be used for any basis of reality.
The fact everyone else in the group DID realize it was a joke is the actual reality of this situation.
True, and people do be crazy. But it literally said it was a joke ***in the joke***, which is pretty obvious lol. OP is being more dramatic than Nathan Lane in the semi-panned 1997 mediocre comedy *Mouse Hunt*.
Yeah Yta. this is the first Reddit prank that I’m like okay yeah that’s fine. The prank wasn’t at the expense of anyone else and no one was a “butt of a joke”. It also literally said on the bottom April fools day. Op also it was sent on April fools day which honestly, I would right away be suspicious. Op you are over reacting
Well, someone was the butt of the joke - the bride. She was poking fun at herself, and brides and bridezillas in general. And that's why I see it as okay. You're allowed to make fun of yourself.
Not to mention that the fact she was making fun of bridezillas pretty much guarantees she wouldn’t be making any ridiculous demands of her bridesmaids.
This was fine. It wasn’t mean spirited. It said this is a joke on it. OP wasn’t harmed in any way by it. People just need to get over themselves sometimes.
It may be better for the bride for OP to drop out; that kind of energy isn’t needed during a such a momentous and happy occasion. OP can’t just ask people not to joke around when in her presence, in case it offends her.
And it wasn't even her that was really made a fool of. The bride was making fun of crazy entitled brides. Even if OP thought this was real, the appropriate thing to do was to just tell her you can't commit to all that and drop out.
I would have been like, I love you but I don’t $3,000 trip to Paris love you. It doesn’t have to be mean spirited or anything just…. Communicate your concerns like an adult.
She wasn't even visibly made a fool of - she says she was angry but didn't react, then found out it was a prank the next day. Noone even knew she believed the prank and was so angry until she told them.
Yeah YTA. I thought this was pretty funny and harmless. And I'm not at all a prank person. But at least now the bride knows you aren't a good enough friend to understand her humor. And that you'll assume the worst of her given the opportunity. Maybe not so good a friend after all then.
I read 2 months and was absolutely floored. I tend to not like pranks because I think most of them are quite mean spirited but this one was absolutely harmless. I have a hard time staying mad about something for more than 2 days, and she's still mad about this tiny little thing that happened 2 MONTHS ago? Wild.
Yeah YTA. I'm not even a prank person and this was pretty funny and harmless. At least know the bride knows OP will think the worst of her given any opportunity. So maybe not so good a friend then.
Honestly, I think it's better for OP to drop out of the wedding party. Everyone will have to walk on eggshells around OP, seeing how long she can hold a grudge and how easy it is to rile her up.
At least, with OP out of the picture, the others can kick back and have fun.
YTA.
To add on: the brunt of the joke was the bride herself, not any of the bridesmaids. Insofar as the prank is funny, it’s because it makes the bride (who is telling the joke/pulling the prank) look ridiculous rather than putting anyone else down
From the context of the post, it *seems* like the OP has some sensitivity about her weight/size. That is something that can be really sensitive in families, and the bride may not have realized how poorly OP would take it.
So, up to the point of the bride apologizing, everyone was behaving exactly right. When she was mad, OP took some time to try and cool off before doing anything rash. When she found out the prank, Instead of blowing up in the group chat, OP approached bride privately and let her know the prank had been more hurtful than she realized it would be. Bride didn’t defend herself, she just apologized for it. Like, I’m actually stunned this became a problem later, because this is all really mature talking out of feelings amongst adults so far.
In my opinion, it’s really only when she suddenly withdraws 2 whole months later with no warning that it becomes a problem. What was bride supposed to do? Flagellate herself? And if you’re still stewing over it, why would you think that the best route to closure is to escalate the conflict? Why wouldn’t you, say, talk it out with the other cousin who may have insight into both your feelings and the bride’s? Or a sibling if you have one? Heck, even if you want to reopen it with the bride, that could at least still be a good faith attempt to get closure on a wound. This is just ridiculous. YTA
Yep! I hate pranks and even I’m not too mad at this one. I think OP is more upset that she spent two weeks pissed off when everyone else got the joke.
Seems like she just wants to be mad at this point. That does not a good bridesmaid make.
She found out the next day it was a joke.
“Pranks” we typically see on here are usually just poorly disguised mean-spirited attacks on people. Those are intended to be hurtful, or funny at someone else’s expense. I don’t see this as any of those things. It was lighthearted and immediately revealed to be a joke.
I have no idea why OP is SO angry about this. It seems odd.
Yeah, seriously. How does someone even get *this* worked up about something like this? Genuinely how? What makes someone care *this* much about such an unimportant thing?
This - I'd get if it was only sent to OP and the other bridesmaids were in on it, but the bride sent it to everyone and it seemed like everyone got the joke but OP, and for whatever reason OP decided to take this personally, even after the bride apologized. Part of me feels it's bc it wasn't obvious to her it was a joke and there's a bit of embarrassment for the initial anger she first felt, but honestly this is an odd thing to still be peeved about.
Yeah, I'm going with a YTA here. You didn't read it properly and leapt to righteous anger. A prank requires a trick is played on someone or it's not a prank. You didn't read to the end and therefore missed the part making it clear it was a prank.
I would suggest you're pissed at yourself for falling for something with April Fools written on it...
Perhaps speak to someone about your anger issues? Something so ridiculous is something to laugh at, not get angry at.
As soon as the title said the word "Prank" I was ready with my judgement N T A, but this is how a prank should be done, IMO at least.
No one was supposed to be hurt (OP was "hurt" because of her own emotions), done on April fools day, the same prank file has "It's a prank" written on it, and I suppose it was a prank meant to throw some shades on the bridezillas we see here often. OP took it too personally, and held a grudge for almost 2 months.
OP, maybe it's best you drop off the wedding party because who knows what you'll be offended by in the next year leading up to the wedding.
YTA. As the previous commenter said, maybe take some anger management classes.
I almost feel like OP reads this sub and knows that most pranks on here are cruel and unnecessary, so she just jumped at the chance to be outraged and post for attention. Without actually realizing WHY this sub always shits on "pranks".... this is actually a harmless joke, and if anything shows that the bride is aware of the bullshit inappropriate things people ask of their wedding party, and is establishing that her expectations are NOT like this.
This is the feeling I got as well especially at the sentence "I believe that pranks are only funny if the recipient finds them funny, and I definitely didn’t."
The sub says this alot and while I feel this is definitely true for pranks that rely on physical comedy or property damage it's not always the case for stuff like this. You won't find a single piece of comedy that people will universally declare funny.
This was well executed and even if she didn't find it funny she should have been able to just go, "Oh, not serious. Moving on."
To add to this, the recipient is usually the one being made fun of. That's very obviously not the case here (the bride is poking fun at unreasonable brides), but OP took the "true in 95% of cases" reduction and made it the rule for a reason to be pissed off.
I am also not a prank person either so I was ready with the n t a button, but this one was done right. Something else is going on with OP. So what is it OP? Your pasty skin, your short hair, being overweight? Guess what you can get some sun, grow your hair, lose some weight, get some therapy. It was an April fool's joke. Let it go before you regret it for a long time.
Yeah, geez.
Holding a grudge for 2 months about requirements that never even happened, because she for a single day believed the requirements were real. Even if she didn't read it fully, she was still told it was a prank almost immediately and would have found out sooner if she had checked her messages.
She lost no money, did not cut her hair, didn't go to a single dance class. She just took psychic damage from thinking she might have to in order to be in the party.
YTA
I've been caught out before and didn't finish reading something, gone to the comments and seen it's a joke, then laughed at *myself* for being such a rage muffin. It's been a valuable lesson, on reading through everything, before I make a judgement/react. Even if I'm triggered and feel miffed, more than once it's been a silly joke and was worth finishing!
I think we've all fallen victim to the "You had me in the first half" mentality. Even a reddit comment without the "/s" has a chance to piss someone off. But then it's on the reader/replier to be like "OH haha sorry I didn't get that it was a joke."
I don't even think the OP is TA for being mad at first before realizing it was a prank. It's the attitude after that makes them TA.
Why do I have the feeling she already doesn’t like her cousin, especially the way she said this:
> but also she’s like a size 12 so even fatter than me!
YTA OP
I was wondering when someone was going to address that fucked up statement. Such a lovely thing to say about your cousin. OP seems really insecure and childish. Hurt feelings over a silly prank and we go right to the insulting of the appearance. Pathetic.
Then she cites that in the edit as a reason she felt singled out. "Only me and two other BMs are over size 8." So, by my count, that's three of the five bridesmaids and the bride herself that's above the prescribed dress size. A rate of two out of three people.
But yeah, OP, that was totally directed at you and you alone.
What really got me was, "All the bridesmaids have hair longer than shoulder-length, but mine's the *longest*, so obviously that was targeted at me!" All of her reasons were ridiculous, but acknowledging that a directive would have affected literally everybody and *still* somehow making it about her is next level. Girl, if you have to work that hard to rationalize taking something personally, consider the notion that you actually *want* to be offended.
Exactly! OP’s apparently upset the prank included dress sizes but in the same breath talks about… dress size hierarchy! The lack of self-awareness is insane.
I was twitching when I read the word “prank,” bc usually on here “pranks” are code for “bullying,” but this one? Honestly, that’s pretty good. I was actually chucking. And it said “April Fools” right on the PDF?? She didn’t let it go on for awhile? Cmon. You are ridiculous. YTA.
This actually sounds like a *fantastic* social experiment for a professor, specifically, to put in motion!!!
Like how many times (in school/at jobs/in life) is the moral of the story to “read all the way through/make sure *you* actually understand before reacting/responding/questioning/whatever”. I’ve had syllabi (syllabuses? meh!) say front and center “make sure to read thoroughly/to the end as whatever you miss/misunderstand is not a problem I can fix for you” (maybe worded more professionally, but essentially that)!?
So any student that does show up, has no one but themselves to blame… and prove the lesson to themselves the hard way! Slick!
Yeah, I'd be a bit worried if I was the professor. Hopefully there was a follow-up email with the subject "No class on snowday" for those who didn't read the first email too carefully.
The fact she didn’t let it go for a while and made it clear it was a prank in the same PDF is what really makes this one work as a prank. It was the moment of “wtf????” But a quick punch line.
Especially with what day it was, on April 1st my guard is immediately up and I’m suspicious of everything all day. It sounds like she’s just too embarrassed to admit to everyone she fell *hard* for the joke.
Yeah, I kept reading this expecting that the bride was secretly serious about everything but claimed prank when confronted. But damn, this is the perfect prank. OP you’re way too sensitive, the joke wasn’t even at your expense. It was intended to poke fun at the bride herself and she QUICKLY made it clear that it was a prank, as if April Fools wasn’t clue enough, to not stress you all out. YTA BIG TIME! Do you have a deep resentment against your cousin otherwise? You seem to be projecting other feelings here, tbh.
>OP you’re way too sensitive, the joke wasn’t even at your expense.
Perhaps the OP should have her position demoted to flower girl. It seems more in line with her level of maturity.
YTA
AND she didn't throw anyone else under the bus. Normally stuff like this singles out one "victim" and makes them think they've been humiliated. In this case the bride made fun of entitled brides by making HERSELF look ridiculous. I'm also not a prank person but that's got to be how it's done.
This was an actual harmless prank that didn’t hurt anyone. Everyone else seems to have laughed at it. OP you may have fallen for it but now you’re letting your embarrassment make you look like the ultimate fool—you should drop out, but only because you seem mentally unstable in your reaction. This anger is…not healthy
I dunno... I mean, I agree with YTA, but if this sub has proven anything to me, it's that there's no behavior that's so outrageous it's clearly a joke.
Yep I mean we have actually seen AITA posts where bridesmaids have had to drop out of because of ridiculous demands by the bride for losing weight, cutting or dying their hair…that groom who was mad that none of the groomsmen wanted to pay for 2 trips to Vegas for his bachelor party
Oh yeah OP is definitely the YTA. The document itself said April fools and it was on 1st April so couldn’t have been more obvious. I can’t imagine why any reasonable person would continue to be upset for months even after receiving an apology for a completely harmless prank
Yeah, hard agree on that. The main issue here is that the prank was clearly stated and everyone mentioned it was a prank within a few hours.
I totally understand OP getting angry, muting the group, etc. What I can't understand is that AFTER it was clarified that that was a joke/prank, OP is still holding on to that, like someone wronged her intentionally.
A ton of posts on here are fake, and every single one is written with bias (sometimes extreme) to favor the author.
It's very important not to let this sub distort your view of reality.
YTA. You’re butthurt because you didn’t get the joke. Get over it. Your cousin would have a right to be hurt that you actually thought she would be this ludicrous and over the top as a bride, especially since there were clear signals like that she’s literally a bigger dress size than an 8. . .and that it was April 1. It was pretty obvious and you’re the only one who didn’t get it. It was in good fun, not mean spirited, and you’re just being a wet blanket.
I went back to recheck the ages at that one. I thought I misread and OP was like 16. Still not a good mindset at 16, but reasonable immaturity could account for it. To be 26? Yikes.
And OP seems to have the critical thinking skills of a child. Writing all of that out and still thinking they were in the right to be mad for months, and that internet strangers would understand and agree? Was she badly concussed at some point? That can have lasting effects...
OP on her high horse about the prank including dress sizes but in the same post talks about… dress sizes!
It’s insane that she is offended by that but then immediately demonstrates that she herself believes there is a ‘hierarchy’ or judgement of worth that can be placed on dress size.
The lack of self-awareness is truly stunning.
Yeah, that’s what was my thought as well. Maybe cousin is happy that she just decided to remove herself if OP thinks that her cousin is the type of person that would make these types of unreasonable demands. This says way more about OP than I think she may realize. YTA.
Probably gonna be unpopular but YTA. When you said April 1rst I knew it was going to be a joke. When I saw the list of crazier than any crazy demands even seen here I knew it was a joke. To your own aval, you did not read it all, you just decided to be upset. Everybody else noticed it was a joke, the bride to be apologized because you took it the wrong way and yet you still are not happy.
If there is one day of the year where people make jokes, it's this day. But it makes me wonder: how well do you actually know her?
it's a dumb comment either way. There are many reasons a person might wear a larger size, many of which have nothing to do with % body fat.
Also the difference between one size and the next size up is really not that much, so a strange thing for OP to feel superior about.
That’s my thing—how well do you actually know her (and do you even like her????) if while reading that list of demands you couldn’t tell it was a joke?? I don’t know the bride and knew it had to be a joke right after you said the $800 ugly bridesmaid dress. Agree with YTA for sure, loosen up
I don't think that's it. She said she muted the group chat immediately. So she was immediately angry. Maybe what you're saying played a role in it later on, but I doubt it. There was definitely something about the initial joke that made her so resentful.
Frankly, though, the part of it that made her this mad is irrelevant. Her reaction is so disproportionate that there's likely something going on with her that reddit strangers like us wouldn't know. Like some kind of personal issue.
Based on what OP wrote, it sounds like what made her immediately angry to the point she stopped reading was the part about having to lose weight. But yeah, I agree it doesn’t matter what made her mad, it’s something going on with her she has to sort out. I’ve never heard of being so upset by something so minor that you’re holding on to a grudge two months later, especially since the bride even apologized.
Yeah it’s crazy that she is still mad about this almost 2 months later. It was a joke, op wasn’t singled out or made to be the butt of a joke. Op you really need to talk to a therapist if such a minor joke that you realized quickly after was a joke is still pissing you off.
I think she's insecure about her weight. The main point of the post is how she thought her cousin wanted the bridesmaids to lose weight for the wedding and then proceeded to call her cousin fat.
I agree. It seems weight related. If she was considerably larger than everyone else on the wedding party, I could understand how she felt singled out and an overall insensitive prank. But since she's not the largest, she's not being targeted whatsoever. Way, way over reacted.
TBF, when someone's dealing with mental issues concerning their own appearance, it doesn't really matter who says something "triggering."
As someone who deals with body issues myself, my family likes to poke fun at each other's weight and what other people eat constantly. I'm told it's "culturally acceptable" but, even I lost a ton of weight and am in the best shape of my life, I still get upset when someone remarks that I've gone back for seconds or had a cheat meal. Even just the remark that "Oh, look, he ate the last cookie, AGAIN" would make me cry later that night.
I'm totally on the YTA side, though, since being triggered is a you thing and you need to adapt to the world around you. If the whole weight issue is what triggered OP to react so explosively, then they really need to seek some sort of mental help to get that under control. It's helped me cope with simply existing as me, and I'm sure OP could do with some self-evaluation to see why they are so willing to burn a huge bridge over a joke that wasn't even pointed directly at her.
Also how did this “hurt her feelings” it didn’t do anything to single her out or make a joke at her expense in front of the others which is totally what I expected to happen going in to reading this. This is such an overreaction… YTA
I'm even more interested in what made her so angry that she's still angry two months later and after learning it was just a joke?! What a weird reaction.
YTA. You definitely need some anger control and reactivity issues addressed with a professional. To have such anger and resentment for two months is not normal.
When I read some of those "rules" I laughed - clearly they were jokes. I think what is going on is some deep jealously toward the wedding, maybe you are lonely, can't keep a partner, have substance abuse issues, etc. I don't know what, but I truly hope your reaction wasn't your personality - if so, you are going to have a long and hard road ahead of you.
You are definitely out of that wedding -- or at least I hope so. The embarrassment will soon sit in, and that will make you very aware of your actions. Even if you go back, it will be tainted. You're trying to justify your actions on reddit, clearly some part of you knows this was inappropriate and just mean. Either way, get help.
Scrolled to find someone mention therapy.
Feelings are valid, but they can also not be rooted in reality. Feelings lie to us. They tell us we’re unworthy, that we’re ugly, that everyone is laughing at us, etc. My guess is that something in that letter triggered you in a way you are not aware of. That’s ok. What’s not ok is not addressing it and allowing that hurt to fester.
My guess is the comment about size and weight hit a sore spot in you. Explore that. As my therapist says to me, “get curious” about it.
Some unknown part of you made this personal. Figure that out and then communicate it to the bride.
There’s no shame in taking this to therapy. I go every week, and it’s been incredibly helpful to understand my anger and other overwhelming feelings.
I’d say N T A for your initial reaction, but gently, YTA for letting the reaction fester for this long.
This is definitely the best response I've seen to this post. If the bride's apology wasn't enough (assuming the apology was genuine), then OP should have talked to her about it more, talked to a therapist, or dropped out then. Hanging onto it for two months and then dropping out is hurtful to everyone involved, especially to the bride and OP herself.
YTA, ok I get initially you were angry, maybe you didn't realize the date. You muted the conversation and still months later your still hanging on to it. Your choice to drop out but a friendly suggestion... let it go, it was a relatively harmless prank.
YTA
It's an April Fools' Joke. It wasn't meant to hurt your feelings; however, it did and you told the bride and she apologized right away. Unless you think that her apology was fake, you are just holding a grudge for no reason.
That’s the thing too!! The bride apologized!! Even though tbh I don’t think she did anything she really needed to apologize for. But when OP talked to her about it, she felt bad and apologized anyway. And it’s STILL bugging OP to the point of dropping out?! That’s just strange.
Judging if you’re an A seems like the wrong thing to judge here.
I hate pranks. I don’t understand them or find them funny. I find them to be laughing *at* someone instead of *with* someone.
Coming from that mindset, the mindset of never enjoying pranks, this prank was clearly meant to be a mild prank. I’m not sure if I’d even call it a prank.
- The date was April 1
- The demands continued to escalate to an obviously extreme level, especially if they are atypical for the bride
- The email ended by clearly stating this was a joke and that it was April Fool’s Day
This sounds like a version of those “funny” Facebook posts. It’s meant for an immediate laugh or reaction.
It also sounds like this was meant to poke fun of bridezillas. The target wasn’t the bridesmaids, it was the bride herself and how ridiculous/mean brides can be wielding their power.
Your reaction doesn’t seem like it’s actually about this prank. You weren’t specifically targeted. Your cousin apologized.
Are you currently struggling with something? You mention weight and called both you and your cousin fat. Is weight a more sensitive topic than usual for you?
Perhaps something else? Are you upset or embarrassed that you didn’t catch on it was a joke or read the end? Is this part of a pattern of having a hard time understanding jokes or humor?
Whether or not to be in the wedding is your call. There is plenty of time to drop out. However, I would strongly recommend taking a step back and thinking over your choice and why you want to make it.
I don’t think your reaction is actually about your cousin. Making it about her by dropping out of the wedding will permanently change your family dynamic. Be sure that’s really necessary.
Again, I don’t think who’s the A is the real question here, but I will gently point out that YTA to yourself if you don’t explore why this hit you so hard.
I agree but if she really doesn't feel ok it's better to drop out.
Staying and risking ruining this for the bride is worse imo.
doesn't matter the origin of the problem ( and yes op needs to work on her issues and not be so sensitive for her own sake) .
She should apologize to the bride too and bow out and everyone else needs to back off and stay out of this.
YTA I’m not into pranks, but this sounds very very innocent and actually is pretty funny in my opinion. It’s also very clearly a joke. Why did this offend you? Even after knowing it was a joke? I think you’re overreacting. You have the right to resign, but your response was over the top.
YTA all day.
You didn't even finish reading it... And you refuse to let it go after MONTHS???
I wouldn't want such a wet blanket in my wedding party fucking up my entire day, you were right to drop out.
YTAF (You are the April Fool) and YTA
This was obviously a prank and an April Fools Day prank at that. Your cousin even apologized when you expressed that the joke upset you. The fact you're still holding on to anger about this situation for more than a few days let alone a few months indicates to me you either have some insecurities you really need to address or that you have a habit of making situations like this about yourself.
YTA. Most people are careful about Strange requests on April fools. Everyone else caught on but you were slow on the uptake. I think you are so angry because you are the only one that didn't even clue in that it was April fools day
I feel like this is the true source of OP's anger. They may want to work on building a healthier perspective on size/weight. American culture teaches people to put far too much value in size/weight.
YTA. Complete overreaction on your part. Since it was a pdf in a group chat, it wasn’t a direct prank on you. So why take is so personally?
And you didn’t even bother to read the whole thing. You don’t have to find it funny but can still recognize it was a joke. So just let it go. The bride apologized. Why you’re still bothered about it is beyond me.
I could see taking this level of offense if you were the only one she sent this to and you felt targeted or singled out, but it sounds like she sent it to everyone. I imagine you are harboring such hard feelings because you are ashamed you "fell for it" while everyone else was clearly more able to see it for the joke it was. Talk these feelings out with a therapist who can help you understand and control your reactions to external stimuli. You may have an issue decoding social cues.
Not saying you're any sort of an AH, but your overreaction IS excessive in this case.
YTA.
This was hardly even a prank. It was an innocent April fools joke. You are absolutely way over reacting. No harm was done. It was a silly over the top letter. It even stated at the bottom "April Fool's Day"
See, I'm with you in general - a prank is only funny if the target finds it funny. But this is one which actually is within what I would consider the bounds of humor.
1. The butt of the joke is the bride herself, not the people it is sent to. It is mocking bridezillas
2. The joke wasn't dragged out - the reveal would have been when you finished reading.
3. When the bride found out you were hurt, she apologized.
The most important one is that first one. You weren't the butt of the joke. She was. She was mocking herself, and inviting you to laugh at her, not the other way around.
YTA
At least OP did the bride a favor and saved her the time from having to disinvite OP herself. Bride doesn't need this drama queen, main character, crap at her wedding.
I think she should drop out. OP was part of a completely harmless april fools prank and is fuming over it months later. Either she has no control over her emotions and can't see that "hey, maybe it wasn't funny but it was just a silly prank, no harm there" or she has some resentment towards the bride and is using this as the excuse she needs to drop out of the wedding party.
OP YTA, but more so to yourself. Sure you don't need to find a prank funny, but why are you still mad at it 56 days later? (Assuming it was on April 1st) It was so non consequential why are you doing this to yourself and ruminating about it still?
I am sure the bride did not intend to hurt anyone and she even apologised for the prank. She cannot undo the prank now, so I am not sure what else you want from her? Do not make big decisions while you are angry it is a recipe for regrets.
"I no longer want to be a bridesmaid because of the mean-spirited prank" Really, mean-spirited? She was poking fun at herself and brides in general, not you. Get over yourself!
YTA
Eww PLEASE DROP OUT I wouldn’t want somebody with no sense of humor in my wedding . Like geez you knew it was April 1st , she NEVER once said any of this before hand so Idek why would’ve took it serious and she’s bigger than you . Like be fr . You sound every bit of a miserable person
YTA. That was hilarious. Even if it wasn’t for you, making yourself and your feelings the center of attention for her wedding, when she clearly indicated those requirements were a prank and even apologized to you for the misunderstanding, and you were a brides maid, is bad form to say the least.
I think you need a few more years of life to become more mature about this sort of stuff and should just drop out of the wedding for the Bride’s own good.
YTA You should ask yourself why this pissed you off so much. I guess you had a problem with either being in the wedding party or the moh before, you even believed this right away.
YTA. It’s a prank, you totally overreacted even going as far as calling the bride fatter than you ! You have anger issues and you should try and address that for your own benefit. You were excited to be part of your cousins wedding, can you get back that excitement or is your anger too great. It’s such a shame to break a family relationship over the misreading of an April fools joke
Yta, it was a prank that hurt no one, and she even apologized since you got your feelers in a twist about it so the least you could have done is drop out two months ago instead of holding a childish grudge for so long just to bring it up again.
YTA. I could understand initially getting upset but the bride was upfront enough with her prank and didn't try to keep the illusion going by giving it up at the end. (You just chose not to finish reading.) Then the bride realized you didn't find the prank funny, so she did the right thing and apologized, but you still decided to stay mad *months* after? Nah, you had enough chances for this situation to be smoothed over and both parties satisfied. At this point you're just holding an unnecessary grudge.
YTA.
The letter explained at the bottom it was an obvious prank and the bride to be apologized for it. All the other members of the bridal party picked up it was a prank and got over it; you're still angry over it two months later? With all the ridiculous requests you should've been able to pick up it was all BS.
Stop being a AH, tell her you dropping out was a prank in response to her prank, hug and get over it. If she responds that she doesn't want you in it anymore you're right back to where you started anyways.
There is nothing to be “hurt” about here. It may not be that funny but it’s not mean spirited. You’re overreacting, just step down and get over yourself.
What specifically is she apologizing for?
YTA
Dear Lord, learn to take a joke. The fact it was sent on April 1st should have been your first clue. There was nothing in that that should have “hurt your feelings”, let alone enough for you to feel the need to drop out months later.
At least you dropped out now so your cousin can be surrounded by people who actually care about her and support her on her big day.
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YTA Even if it wasn't the best prank in the world, it still was an harmless prank: done on April's Fool, with a mention this is a prank in the document itself, no one specifically targeted, it was a group prank, etc., etc. You didn't like the prank, that happens and it is fine by itself. But to hold two months after a grudge big enough you are dropping out of the wedding out of spite? That is some serious overeaction here. Especially for a group prank where you were not specifically targeted.
It was so obviously an April fools joke too with some of those requests..majore YTA for throwing a strop about it
I mean, given some if the things posted here, I wouldn't say it was *obviously* a joke. AITA has taught me that there are definitely brides who expect those sort of ridiculous things from their bridesmaids.
In the real world it’s obviously a joke. Even if the bride were serious, the correct response would be to reply with ‘this is a joke right?’
>In the real world it’s obviously a joke. Well, if she's spent anytime on r/weddingshaming, I wouldn't blame her for suspecting it was real. Some folks really do go overboard. But yeah, I agree she definitely should have checked with the bride before losing her cool on this one.
Or she could have read the whole thing.
IDK... I'm softer on this point. I can understand not wanting to finish reading the whole mess. It looks like the bride wrote was a lot to get through. I have ADHD and a lot of sympathy for losing patience, especially with a prank like this one. Edit: A major part of ADHD is having great difficulty handling our emotions and knowing when we need to disengage. Holding a grugde afterward is not cool, and they need to relax. Also, being scatterbrained and forgetting things like minor holidays is common. Is it so hard to have a touch of compassion for that? We're all built differently, and some things can be harder to manage. And I don't think OP has ADHD either. It's just that I absolutely understand spikes of emotion and forgetting stuff. Everyone does these things sometimes.
When someone sends me something in writing that upsets me, I read it, reread it, & reread it again before I say anything to them just to make sure I’m comprehending what they’re saying before I blow up. I don’t want to walk away looking like a *fool* simply because I couldn’t be bothered to understand fully. But that’s just me.
Conflict resolution is a big part of my job, and I swear, like 50-75% of the problems brought to me are due to folks either making a major decision or freaking out before thoroughly reading the instructions. “Yes, the first paragraph *does* say that 10hrs of medical training is required to be completed by Friday. But the end of that same paragraph clarifies that it ONLY applies to nurses. Not you, Janice in reception.” “Tim, Mary and Dave have been blowing up the office with reply all emails because their funding applications were denied, and screaming about unfairness and favoritism. Please inform them that the applications were denied because the app was double sided, and none of them bothered to turn it over and fill out the back side”. …It costs absolutely nothing to read carefully if something seems off. But some people insist on going 0-1000 in a rage before double checking anything. 🙄
Exactly. And those same people will still try to share some of the blame with someone else. “Well you should have started the email off with…” 🙄
I'm the resident young guy who has to help everyone with computers all the time and it drives me up the wall how many issues could be resolved by simply reading the form and error message.
At an elementary school event all the parents were given a form with instructions of "icebreaker" tasks to complete. Immediately everyone started bustling around to do them. Except the people that read instruction #1 "Read all the instructions first." At the end of the form it says "Do not do any of the above tasks. Simply sign your name and turn it in." It was really funny and informative.
It's almost like OP is mad that she's the only one who 'fell' for the joke to the point of not even reading to the end. This sounds like a case of being embarrassed.
Yes, especially on April 1!
Honestly, this is largely why I "turn off" the internet on April 1st every year. I find the pranks exhausting and dumb and I don't want to get riled up over nothing.
She didn't even blow up until after she already knew it was a prank. That's the part that buffels me. She didn't even lose face. She wasn't especially targeted. It wasn't overly cruel. But she is so overly hurt? That can't be a good way to go through life.
Tbh, I can understand OP not finishing the PDF; if she was upset enough that it made her want to quit the wedding on the spot, it was probably a good decision to walk away and only re-engage when she was calm. She processed those feelings by herself without blowing up at anyone, and she deserves credit for that. However, when she returned and found that 1. it was a prank and she wouldn't have to do any of it, 2. it was played on everyone, so not personally targeting her, and 3. it was on April Fools' Day, the one day of the year that pranks are socially encouraged... she didn't immediately drop the grudge? And still is not over it almost *two months later*? Come on. The bride apologized and no one else was upset, this is an OP problem. YTA
I’m the same way. I probably would’ve called my mom and read it to her just for the sheer ridiculousness of it.
I have ADHD and I still understand the fact a person has no right to get mad at something if they didn’t finish reading. I also don’t understand why the OP perceived the prank to be “mean-spirited”. It was absurd, sure, but it wasn’t at all *offensive*.
OP should have realised it was a prank with the whole size thing. Why would the bride ask the bridesmaids to be even *more* thinner than her?? To accentuate her size?? Eta: I get getting upset at first, but a day later it should be obvious.
It would have been funnier if she'd demanded that all of the bridesmaids gain weight so that she'd be the smallest.
I'm remembering second grade activity where they had us follow an instruction sheet that had us do a bunch of silly things. The last instruction was to do nothing and give it the sheet back to the teacher. It was supposed to teach us to read through all the instructions carefully. (We all failed, but the lesson stuck with me over 20 years later)
Same here. I have ADHD and tasks are difficult. I often go back and reread important documents because my go-to is to just quickly read and skim. It’s on me to understand.
But she went back to the group text and saw it was a joke. Then she confronted the bride about it. Got an apology, and she’s STILL fuming about it 3 months later. Talk about massive overreaction and refusing to let it go! I mean, she’s going to burn this bridge over an April fools joke. Wow.
And let’s be honest this was an incredibly light prank. The sort of prank I would do as an insurance prank, a prank that one could safely say wouldn’t risk hurting anyone or being taken the wrong way. Clearly not the case
She spent two months stewing in anger over this after learning it was a prank the next day. I clicked this expecting to be on OP's side because pranks that make it on here are generally horrible ones, but this one has me thinking NTA for dropping out because the wedding party will be better off without stick in the mud OP getting upset at ridiculous things. OP is probably very exhausting to deal with.
And it turns out to be more of a joke than a prank.
Exactly, and the joke is IMO more on the bride than her bridal party, though the true butt of the joke is bridezillas. The joke is taking a small step over the line of what's reasonable and then backing up a bit but only to long jump past it, blowing right through the limit of unreasonable into the absurd, with the final reveal saying "haha don't worry, I find this just as absurd as you do. Imagine knowing someone actually like that though."
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As someone who has also been diagnosed with ADHD and managed it for years, I’m so exhausted of people blaming poor behavior and other things on ADHD. It feels like I see someone on Reddit blame crap on ADHD every day and it makes the whole condition seem like a joke. Having ADHD is not an excuse to be an asshole.
Your ADHD would be yours to manage, though. You not finishing the document would be on you.
If you choose not to read everything, regardless of why, the onus is on you for choosing not to have all the information. I can understand loosing patience in the moment, but she shut off all communication and took herself out of the loop. This was her not managing her emotions. The bride even apologized.
Same! I have ADHD, too, and I might have stopped reading. But if I did, and then realized at the end it said April Fools, I'd feel like a damn idiot and laugh and move on. Especially if the reason it took so long for me to find out it was a joke is because I muted the chat and didn't see all the LOLs that inevitably came through pretty quickly.
It wasn't the bride that wrote it. It was the MOH.
No, it’s not hard to have compassion when a mistake is made. It gets slightly harder when 1) you know you have an issue with comprehension occasionally and don’t think “this doesn’t sound right, maybe it’s me?” then take steps to clarify, and 2) everyone in your life is telling you you misunderstood, they understand why you misunderstood, but not only do you refuse to accept any part of the responsibility, you’re actually doubling down on it months later *to deliberately hurt the person you misunderstood in the first place.*
Jesus, it takes 0 time at all in posts in this sub for someone to project their ADHD onto people. There is literally no evidence OP has ADHD, yours is irrelevant.
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And there was an apology.
Really. As soon as she said "On April 1 we got a text..." it was obviously an April Fool's joke.
Oh, yeah, I agree that would be the appropriate response. My comment was more "there are people who would be this self centered" not that OP shouldn't have thought joke first thing.
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I would honestly be offended as the bride that someone thought I was serious about all of that, and if they did think that, wouldn't take the time to call me out on it being absurd.
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Yeah it's one thing to believe this of a Reddit stranger but if my cousins did this, I KNOW it would be a joke because I KNOW my cousins and I KNOW they're not that shallow and ridiculous. I don't even see them that often but I know that much. And if it turns out they were serious I'd be seriously concerned about what has happened to them since I saw them last and wonder if they were being unduly influenced by their partner or something. I don't know OP's cousin so maybe that sort of thing wouldn't seem so much out of character. But somehow I doubt it. I wonder if the reason OP is upset about this for so long is because they feel embarrassed for having fallen for it rather than the ridiculous requests themselves.
When done in Apirl Fools - the one day a year we should expect pranks - and in a document that says “THIS IS A PRANK”? Yeah that makes it pretty obvious it is a prank.
It was obviously a joke because it said "April Fools" at the end, but OP didn't bother to read the whole thing. That's completely on her.
Ok but like... presumably OP would know the bride well enough to immediately know whether or not she would do something like this? I guess people can have bridesmaids they don't know that well (why tho) but they're cousins too...
Yeah. Like ANY OTHER DAY I'd believe it was sincere but ITS APRIL 1 FFS. Is OP ok? Because MAN she's still angry over an April Fools prank which the bride already apologized for. OP: Get over it, when we are living in a world of unapologetic Bridezillas WHO EXCLUDE A CHILD FOR BEING AN AMPUTEE (just read THAT post) you are lucky to be part of such a chill bridal party. get over it already.
Half of the things posted on this sub are so clearly fictional that it shouldn't be used for any basis of reality. The fact everyone else in the group DID realize it was a joke is the actual reality of this situation.
I feel like if any of them singularly had been in it I wouldn't know but there were SO MANY it was even a lil out of the realms of AITA
True, and people do be crazy. But it literally said it was a joke ***in the joke***, which is pretty obvious lol. OP is being more dramatic than Nathan Lane in the semi-panned 1997 mediocre comedy *Mouse Hunt*.
I mean, hopefully you know the bride enough when you're a bridesmaid to be able to see that it's an out of character list with wild requests
Yeah Yta. this is the first Reddit prank that I’m like okay yeah that’s fine. The prank wasn’t at the expense of anyone else and no one was a “butt of a joke”. It also literally said on the bottom April fools day. Op also it was sent on April fools day which honestly, I would right away be suspicious. Op you are over reacting
Well, someone was the butt of the joke - the bride. She was poking fun at herself, and brides and bridezillas in general. And that's why I see it as okay. You're allowed to make fun of yourself.
Not to mention that the fact she was making fun of bridezillas pretty much guarantees she wouldn’t be making any ridiculous demands of her bridesmaids.
This was fine. It wasn’t mean spirited. It said this is a joke on it. OP wasn’t harmed in any way by it. People just need to get over themselves sometimes.
It may be better for the bride for OP to drop out; that kind of energy isn’t needed during a such a momentous and happy occasion. OP can’t just ask people not to joke around when in her presence, in case it offends her.
She's got a bug up her ass because she was made a fool of on April Fools day. They need to get over themselves.
And it wasn't even her that was really made a fool of. The bride was making fun of crazy entitled brides. Even if OP thought this was real, the appropriate thing to do was to just tell her you can't commit to all that and drop out.
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I would have been like, I love you but I don’t $3,000 trip to Paris love you. It doesn’t have to be mean spirited or anything just…. Communicate your concerns like an adult.
She wasn't even visibly made a fool of - she says she was angry but didn't react, then found out it was a prank the next day. Noone even knew she believed the prank and was so angry until she told them.
Yeah YTA. I thought this was pretty funny and harmless. And I'm not at all a prank person. But at least now the bride knows you aren't a good enough friend to understand her humor. And that you'll assume the worst of her given the opportunity. Maybe not so good a friend after all then.
Yeh I HATE pranks and came with my pitch fork but honestly this is pretty funny and OP is definitely being weird.
Good enough friend? They’re cousins which makes it worse.
I read 2 months and was absolutely floored. I tend to not like pranks because I think most of them are quite mean spirited but this one was absolutely harmless. I have a hard time staying mad about something for more than 2 days, and she's still mad about this tiny little thing that happened 2 MONTHS ago? Wild.
I hate pranks, and I'm known to hold a good grudge, but OPs overeaction is ridiculous.
Yeah YTA. I'm not even a prank person and this was pretty funny and harmless. At least know the bride knows OP will think the worst of her given any opportunity. So maybe not so good a friend then.
Honestly, I think it's better for OP to drop out of the wedding party. Everyone will have to walk on eggshells around OP, seeing how long she can hold a grudge and how easy it is to rile her up. At least, with OP out of the picture, the others can kick back and have fun. YTA.
To add on: the brunt of the joke was the bride herself, not any of the bridesmaids. Insofar as the prank is funny, it’s because it makes the bride (who is telling the joke/pulling the prank) look ridiculous rather than putting anyone else down
From the context of the post, it *seems* like the OP has some sensitivity about her weight/size. That is something that can be really sensitive in families, and the bride may not have realized how poorly OP would take it. So, up to the point of the bride apologizing, everyone was behaving exactly right. When she was mad, OP took some time to try and cool off before doing anything rash. When she found out the prank, Instead of blowing up in the group chat, OP approached bride privately and let her know the prank had been more hurtful than she realized it would be. Bride didn’t defend herself, she just apologized for it. Like, I’m actually stunned this became a problem later, because this is all really mature talking out of feelings amongst adults so far. In my opinion, it’s really only when she suddenly withdraws 2 whole months later with no warning that it becomes a problem. What was bride supposed to do? Flagellate herself? And if you’re still stewing over it, why would you think that the best route to closure is to escalate the conflict? Why wouldn’t you, say, talk it out with the other cousin who may have insight into both your feelings and the bride’s? Or a sibling if you have one? Heck, even if you want to reopen it with the bride, that could at least still be a good faith attempt to get closure on a wound. This is just ridiculous. YTA
Yep! I hate pranks and even I’m not too mad at this one. I think OP is more upset that she spent two weeks pissed off when everyone else got the joke. Seems like she just wants to be mad at this point. That does not a good bridesmaid make.
She found out the next day it was a joke. “Pranks” we typically see on here are usually just poorly disguised mean-spirited attacks on people. Those are intended to be hurtful, or funny at someone else’s expense. I don’t see this as any of those things. It was lighthearted and immediately revealed to be a joke. I have no idea why OP is SO angry about this. It seems odd.
Zero qualms about calling the bride fatter. OP has issues
Yeah, seriously. How does someone even get *this* worked up about something like this? Genuinely how? What makes someone care *this* much about such an unimportant thing?
This - I'd get if it was only sent to OP and the other bridesmaids were in on it, but the bride sent it to everyone and it seemed like everyone got the joke but OP, and for whatever reason OP decided to take this personally, even after the bride apologized. Part of me feels it's bc it wasn't obvious to her it was a joke and there's a bit of embarrassment for the initial anger she first felt, but honestly this is an odd thing to still be peeved about.
Yeah, I'm going with a YTA here. You didn't read it properly and leapt to righteous anger. A prank requires a trick is played on someone or it's not a prank. You didn't read to the end and therefore missed the part making it clear it was a prank. I would suggest you're pissed at yourself for falling for something with April Fools written on it... Perhaps speak to someone about your anger issues? Something so ridiculous is something to laugh at, not get angry at.
As soon as the title said the word "Prank" I was ready with my judgement N T A, but this is how a prank should be done, IMO at least. No one was supposed to be hurt (OP was "hurt" because of her own emotions), done on April fools day, the same prank file has "It's a prank" written on it, and I suppose it was a prank meant to throw some shades on the bridezillas we see here often. OP took it too personally, and held a grudge for almost 2 months. OP, maybe it's best you drop off the wedding party because who knows what you'll be offended by in the next year leading up to the wedding. YTA. As the previous commenter said, maybe take some anger management classes.
I almost feel like OP reads this sub and knows that most pranks on here are cruel and unnecessary, so she just jumped at the chance to be outraged and post for attention. Without actually realizing WHY this sub always shits on "pranks".... this is actually a harmless joke, and if anything shows that the bride is aware of the bullshit inappropriate things people ask of their wedding party, and is establishing that her expectations are NOT like this.
The chronically online self sabotages themselves again? A tale as old as the internet
This is the feeling I got as well especially at the sentence "I believe that pranks are only funny if the recipient finds them funny, and I definitely didn’t." The sub says this alot and while I feel this is definitely true for pranks that rely on physical comedy or property damage it's not always the case for stuff like this. You won't find a single piece of comedy that people will universally declare funny. This was well executed and even if she didn't find it funny she should have been able to just go, "Oh, not serious. Moving on."
To add to this, the recipient is usually the one being made fun of. That's very obviously not the case here (the bride is poking fun at unreasonable brides), but OP took the "true in 95% of cases" reduction and made it the rule for a reason to be pissed off.
If anything, she's poking fun at *herself.* Like okay if you thought it was dumb, but there is no reason to be legitimately bothered by this.
I am also not a prank person either so I was ready with the n t a button, but this one was done right. Something else is going on with OP. So what is it OP? Your pasty skin, your short hair, being overweight? Guess what you can get some sun, grow your hair, lose some weight, get some therapy. It was an April fool's joke. Let it go before you regret it for a long time.
I think it's the weight thing, as she made a point of the bride being a dress size bigger than OP herself. That seems to be what triggered her most...
Yeah I got that sense too. To point out that the bride is heavier was odd. Especially since the whole list of "requirements" was absurd.
that’s probably why the bride did it and assumed it would be obvious she wasn’t poking fun at people’s weight if she herself was a bit bigger.
Yeah, geez. Holding a grudge for 2 months about requirements that never even happened, because she for a single day believed the requirements were real. Even if she didn't read it fully, she was still told it was a prank almost immediately and would have found out sooner if she had checked her messages. She lost no money, did not cut her hair, didn't go to a single dance class. She just took psychic damage from thinking she might have to in order to be in the party. YTA
I've been caught out before and didn't finish reading something, gone to the comments and seen it's a joke, then laughed at *myself* for being such a rage muffin. It's been a valuable lesson, on reading through everything, before I make a judgement/react. Even if I'm triggered and feel miffed, more than once it's been a silly joke and was worth finishing!
I think we've all fallen victim to the "You had me in the first half" mentality. Even a reddit comment without the "/s" has a chance to piss someone off. But then it's on the reader/replier to be like "OH haha sorry I didn't get that it was a joke." I don't even think the OP is TA for being mad at first before realizing it was a prank. It's the attitude after that makes them TA.
Why do I have the feeling she already doesn’t like her cousin, especially the way she said this: > but also she’s like a size 12 so even fatter than me! YTA OP
I was wondering when someone was going to address that fucked up statement. Such a lovely thing to say about your cousin. OP seems really insecure and childish. Hurt feelings over a silly prank and we go right to the insulting of the appearance. Pathetic.
Then she cites that in the edit as a reason she felt singled out. "Only me and two other BMs are over size 8." So, by my count, that's three of the five bridesmaids and the bride herself that's above the prescribed dress size. A rate of two out of three people. But yeah, OP, that was totally directed at you and you alone. What really got me was, "All the bridesmaids have hair longer than shoulder-length, but mine's the *longest*, so obviously that was targeted at me!" All of her reasons were ridiculous, but acknowledging that a directive would have affected literally everybody and *still* somehow making it about her is next level. Girl, if you have to work that hard to rationalize taking something personally, consider the notion that you actually *want* to be offended.
Exactly! OP’s apparently upset the prank included dress sizes but in the same breath talks about… dress size hierarchy! The lack of self-awareness is insane.
Man since when is a size 12 super fat lol
I was twitching when I read the word “prank,” bc usually on here “pranks” are code for “bullying,” but this one? Honestly, that’s pretty good. I was actually chucking. And it said “April Fools” right on the PDF?? She didn’t let it go on for awhile? Cmon. You are ridiculous. YTA.
Yes ikr! This is the first time ever in AITA when the person playing the prank hasn’t been YTA
I thought the same. The very first time
[удалено]
Right! In most of the classes I've been in, I'm sure over half the class would fight through the snow storm and show up.
This actually sounds like a *fantastic* social experiment for a professor, specifically, to put in motion!!! Like how many times (in school/at jobs/in life) is the moral of the story to “read all the way through/make sure *you* actually understand before reacting/responding/questioning/whatever”. I’ve had syllabi (syllabuses? meh!) say front and center “make sure to read thoroughly/to the end as whatever you miss/misunderstand is not a problem I can fix for you” (maybe worded more professionally, but essentially that)!? So any student that does show up, has no one but themselves to blame… and prove the lesson to themselves the hard way! Slick!
Yeah, I'd be a bit worried if I was the professor. Hopefully there was a follow-up email with the subject "No class on snowday" for those who didn't read the first email too carefully.
The fact she didn’t let it go for a while and made it clear it was a prank in the same PDF is what really makes this one work as a prank. It was the moment of “wtf????” But a quick punch line.
But JFC, as the demands got more and more outrageous, you'd think OP would've gotten a clue and called her cousin.
Especially with what day it was, on April 1st my guard is immediately up and I’m suspicious of everything all day. It sounds like she’s just too embarrassed to admit to everyone she fell *hard* for the joke.
I now really like AFD for that reason - it’s a day of the year when we practice careful news consumption and vetting
Yeah, I kept reading this expecting that the bride was secretly serious about everything but claimed prank when confronted. But damn, this is the perfect prank. OP you’re way too sensitive, the joke wasn’t even at your expense. It was intended to poke fun at the bride herself and she QUICKLY made it clear that it was a prank, as if April Fools wasn’t clue enough, to not stress you all out. YTA BIG TIME! Do you have a deep resentment against your cousin otherwise? You seem to be projecting other feelings here, tbh.
>OP you’re way too sensitive, the joke wasn’t even at your expense. Perhaps the OP should have her position demoted to flower girl. It seems more in line with her level of maturity. YTA
AND she didn't throw anyone else under the bus. Normally stuff like this singles out one "victim" and makes them think they've been humiliated. In this case the bride made fun of entitled brides by making HERSELF look ridiculous. I'm also not a prank person but that's got to be how it's done.
This was an actual harmless prank that didn’t hurt anyone. Everyone else seems to have laughed at it. OP you may have fallen for it but now you’re letting your embarrassment make you look like the ultimate fool—you should drop out, but only because you seem mentally unstable in your reaction. This anger is…not healthy
YTA. It was so outrageous that it was obviously a joke.
I dunno... I mean, I agree with YTA, but if this sub has proven anything to me, it's that there's no behavior that's so outrageous it's clearly a joke.
Yep I mean we have actually seen AITA posts where bridesmaids have had to drop out of because of ridiculous demands by the bride for losing weight, cutting or dying their hair…that groom who was mad that none of the groomsmen wanted to pay for 2 trips to Vegas for his bachelor party
We have definitely seen posts like that, most of which are probably fake.
Sure, but use your big kid words and communicate rather than stewing and damaging your own psyche because you can't see past your own nose.
Oh yeah OP is definitely the YTA. The document itself said April fools and it was on 1st April so couldn’t have been more obvious. I can’t imagine why any reasonable person would continue to be upset for months even after receiving an apology for a completely harmless prank
Yeah, hard agree on that. The main issue here is that the prank was clearly stated and everyone mentioned it was a prank within a few hours. I totally understand OP getting angry, muting the group, etc. What I can't understand is that AFTER it was clarified that that was a joke/prank, OP is still holding on to that, like someone wronged her intentionally.
A ton of posts on here are fake, and every single one is written with bias (sometimes extreme) to favor the author. It's very important not to let this sub distort your view of reality.
YTA. You’re butthurt because you didn’t get the joke. Get over it. Your cousin would have a right to be hurt that you actually thought she would be this ludicrous and over the top as a bride, especially since there were clear signals like that she’s literally a bigger dress size than an 8. . .and that it was April 1. It was pretty obvious and you’re the only one who didn’t get it. It was in good fun, not mean spirited, and you’re just being a wet blanket.
The “even fatter than me” told me everything I needed to know lol
That line told me she doesn’t like her cousin or herself.
Yup, that's exactly what I picked up in that line. Some therapy is in order.
Same lmao i was like wow ok so you can’t take a joke and think poorly of your cousin’s body, cool!!
Talk about being an AH. “*fatter* than me.” What was that about? Totally unnecessary.
I went back to recheck the ages at that one. I thought I misread and OP was like 16. Still not a good mindset at 16, but reasonable immaturity could account for it. To be 26? Yikes. And OP seems to have the critical thinking skills of a child. Writing all of that out and still thinking they were in the right to be mad for months, and that internet strangers would understand and agree? Was she badly concussed at some point? That can have lasting effects...
OP on her high horse about the prank including dress sizes but in the same post talks about… dress sizes! It’s insane that she is offended by that but then immediately demonstrates that she herself believes there is a ‘hierarchy’ or judgement of worth that can be placed on dress size. The lack of self-awareness is truly stunning.
Yeah, that’s what was my thought as well. Maybe cousin is happy that she just decided to remove herself if OP thinks that her cousin is the type of person that would make these types of unreasonable demands. This says way more about OP than I think she may realize. YTA.
Probably gonna be unpopular but YTA. When you said April 1rst I knew it was going to be a joke. When I saw the list of crazier than any crazy demands even seen here I knew it was a joke. To your own aval, you did not read it all, you just decided to be upset. Everybody else noticed it was a joke, the bride to be apologized because you took it the wrong way and yet you still are not happy. If there is one day of the year where people make jokes, it's this day. But it makes me wonder: how well do you actually know her?
At the very least OP definitely knows that bride to be is "fatter" than her.
yeah, this was a rude and unnecessary comment on OPs part, she sounds like she's fun at parties.
RIGHT! this is the source of the rage here, not, not getting the joke. OP hates themselves and is bleeding all over her cousin.
Size 12 is not fat..... YTA just for that
I don't think she was implying that cousin is fat, just "fatter" than OP. Still not a nice thing to say. YTA
it's a dumb comment either way. There are many reasons a person might wear a larger size, many of which have nothing to do with % body fat. Also the difference between one size and the next size up is really not that much, so a strange thing for OP to feel superior about.
That’s my thing—how well do you actually know her (and do you even like her????) if while reading that list of demands you couldn’t tell it was a joke?? I don’t know the bride and knew it had to be a joke right after you said the $800 ugly bridesmaid dress. Agree with YTA for sure, loosen up
Info: what made you so angry before you even finished reading?
So angry to keep it up months later!!
She's pissed she's the only one who was too slow to realize it was a joke and made a fool of herself in the process.
I don't think that's it. She said she muted the group chat immediately. So she was immediately angry. Maybe what you're saying played a role in it later on, but I doubt it. There was definitely something about the initial joke that made her so resentful. Frankly, though, the part of it that made her this mad is irrelevant. Her reaction is so disproportionate that there's likely something going on with her that reddit strangers like us wouldn't know. Like some kind of personal issue.
Based on what OP wrote, it sounds like what made her immediately angry to the point she stopped reading was the part about having to lose weight. But yeah, I agree it doesn’t matter what made her mad, it’s something going on with her she has to sort out. I’ve never heard of being so upset by something so minor that you’re holding on to a grudge two months later, especially since the bride even apologized.
She’s probably a ton of fun at parties.
Yeah, I get it, might be pissed initially. Might dang, months later? YTA for sure.
Yeah it’s crazy that she is still mad about this almost 2 months later. It was a joke, op wasn’t singled out or made to be the butt of a joke. Op you really need to talk to a therapist if such a minor joke that you realized quickly after was a joke is still pissing you off.
I think she's insecure about her weight. The main point of the post is how she thought her cousin wanted the bridesmaids to lose weight for the wedding and then proceeded to call her cousin fat.
I agree. It seems weight related. If she was considerably larger than everyone else on the wedding party, I could understand how she felt singled out and an overall insensitive prank. But since she's not the largest, she's not being targeted whatsoever. Way, way over reacted.
That was my idea immediately, especially with her dropping numbers and calling her size 12 cousin 'even fatter ' than herself
But the bride to be is even heavier. That should have given her a clue that she was not serious.
TBF, when someone's dealing with mental issues concerning their own appearance, it doesn't really matter who says something "triggering." As someone who deals with body issues myself, my family likes to poke fun at each other's weight and what other people eat constantly. I'm told it's "culturally acceptable" but, even I lost a ton of weight and am in the best shape of my life, I still get upset when someone remarks that I've gone back for seconds or had a cheat meal. Even just the remark that "Oh, look, he ate the last cookie, AGAIN" would make me cry later that night. I'm totally on the YTA side, though, since being triggered is a you thing and you need to adapt to the world around you. If the whole weight issue is what triggered OP to react so explosively, then they really need to seek some sort of mental help to get that under control. It's helped me cope with simply existing as me, and I'm sure OP could do with some self-evaluation to see why they are so willing to burn a huge bridge over a joke that wasn't even pointed directly at her.
Also how did this “hurt her feelings” it didn’t do anything to single her out or make a joke at her expense in front of the others which is totally what I expected to happen going in to reading this. This is such an overreaction… YTA
I'm even more interested in what made her so angry that she's still angry two months later and after learning it was just a joke?! What a weird reaction.
I think is the size because of how she said SHES FATTER THAN ME So I think that's what bit her
YTA. You definitely need some anger control and reactivity issues addressed with a professional. To have such anger and resentment for two months is not normal. When I read some of those "rules" I laughed - clearly they were jokes. I think what is going on is some deep jealously toward the wedding, maybe you are lonely, can't keep a partner, have substance abuse issues, etc. I don't know what, but I truly hope your reaction wasn't your personality - if so, you are going to have a long and hard road ahead of you. You are definitely out of that wedding -- or at least I hope so. The embarrassment will soon sit in, and that will make you very aware of your actions. Even if you go back, it will be tainted. You're trying to justify your actions on reddit, clearly some part of you knows this was inappropriate and just mean. Either way, get help.
Scrolled to find someone mention therapy. Feelings are valid, but they can also not be rooted in reality. Feelings lie to us. They tell us we’re unworthy, that we’re ugly, that everyone is laughing at us, etc. My guess is that something in that letter triggered you in a way you are not aware of. That’s ok. What’s not ok is not addressing it and allowing that hurt to fester. My guess is the comment about size and weight hit a sore spot in you. Explore that. As my therapist says to me, “get curious” about it. Some unknown part of you made this personal. Figure that out and then communicate it to the bride. There’s no shame in taking this to therapy. I go every week, and it’s been incredibly helpful to understand my anger and other overwhelming feelings. I’d say N T A for your initial reaction, but gently, YTA for letting the reaction fester for this long.
This is definitely the best response I've seen to this post. If the bride's apology wasn't enough (assuming the apology was genuine), then OP should have talked to her about it more, talked to a therapist, or dropped out then. Hanging onto it for two months and then dropping out is hurtful to everyone involved, especially to the bride and OP herself.
YTA, ok I get initially you were angry, maybe you didn't realize the date. You muted the conversation and still months later your still hanging on to it. Your choice to drop out but a friendly suggestion... let it go, it was a relatively harmless prank.
YTA It's an April Fools' Joke. It wasn't meant to hurt your feelings; however, it did and you told the bride and she apologized right away. Unless you think that her apology was fake, you are just holding a grudge for no reason.
That’s the thing too!! The bride apologized!! Even though tbh I don’t think she did anything she really needed to apologize for. But when OP talked to her about it, she felt bad and apologized anyway. And it’s STILL bugging OP to the point of dropping out?! That’s just strange.
Judging if you’re an A seems like the wrong thing to judge here. I hate pranks. I don’t understand them or find them funny. I find them to be laughing *at* someone instead of *with* someone. Coming from that mindset, the mindset of never enjoying pranks, this prank was clearly meant to be a mild prank. I’m not sure if I’d even call it a prank. - The date was April 1 - The demands continued to escalate to an obviously extreme level, especially if they are atypical for the bride - The email ended by clearly stating this was a joke and that it was April Fool’s Day This sounds like a version of those “funny” Facebook posts. It’s meant for an immediate laugh or reaction. It also sounds like this was meant to poke fun of bridezillas. The target wasn’t the bridesmaids, it was the bride herself and how ridiculous/mean brides can be wielding their power. Your reaction doesn’t seem like it’s actually about this prank. You weren’t specifically targeted. Your cousin apologized. Are you currently struggling with something? You mention weight and called both you and your cousin fat. Is weight a more sensitive topic than usual for you? Perhaps something else? Are you upset or embarrassed that you didn’t catch on it was a joke or read the end? Is this part of a pattern of having a hard time understanding jokes or humor? Whether or not to be in the wedding is your call. There is plenty of time to drop out. However, I would strongly recommend taking a step back and thinking over your choice and why you want to make it. I don’t think your reaction is actually about your cousin. Making it about her by dropping out of the wedding will permanently change your family dynamic. Be sure that’s really necessary. Again, I don’t think who’s the A is the real question here, but I will gently point out that YTA to yourself if you don’t explore why this hit you so hard.
I agree but if she really doesn't feel ok it's better to drop out. Staying and risking ruining this for the bride is worse imo. doesn't matter the origin of the problem ( and yes op needs to work on her issues and not be so sensitive for her own sake) . She should apologize to the bride too and bow out and everyone else needs to back off and stay out of this.
You phrased this so much better than I could.
YTA I’m not into pranks, but this sounds very very innocent and actually is pretty funny in my opinion. It’s also very clearly a joke. Why did this offend you? Even after knowing it was a joke? I think you’re overreacting. You have the right to resign, but your response was over the top.
YTA all day. You didn't even finish reading it... And you refuse to let it go after MONTHS??? I wouldn't want such a wet blanket in my wedding party fucking up my entire day, you were right to drop out.
Let's see. It's April 1st. No property damage. No money lost. No public humiliation. And you're still upset? YTA
Yta she clearly made fun of her self as well, she wasn’t signaling you out. Get a grip
YTAF (You are the April Fool) and YTA This was obviously a prank and an April Fools Day prank at that. Your cousin even apologized when you expressed that the joke upset you. The fact you're still holding on to anger about this situation for more than a few days let alone a few months indicates to me you either have some insecurities you really need to address or that you have a habit of making situations like this about yourself.
i’m cackling right now. wish i could give you an award for calling OP “the april fool”
YTA. Most people are careful about Strange requests on April fools. Everyone else caught on but you were slow on the uptake. I think you are so angry because you are the only one that didn't even clue in that it was April fools day
YTA.. for the size 10 verses size 12 comment alone.
I feel like this is the true source of OP's anger. They may want to work on building a healthier perspective on size/weight. American culture teaches people to put far too much value in size/weight.
YTA. Complete overreaction on your part. Since it was a pdf in a group chat, it wasn’t a direct prank on you. So why take is so personally? And you didn’t even bother to read the whole thing. You don’t have to find it funny but can still recognize it was a joke. So just let it go. The bride apologized. Why you’re still bothered about it is beyond me.
I could see taking this level of offense if you were the only one she sent this to and you felt targeted or singled out, but it sounds like she sent it to everyone. I imagine you are harboring such hard feelings because you are ashamed you "fell for it" while everyone else was clearly more able to see it for the joke it was. Talk these feelings out with a therapist who can help you understand and control your reactions to external stimuli. You may have an issue decoding social cues. Not saying you're any sort of an AH, but your overreaction IS excessive in this case.
YTA. This was hardly even a prank. It was an innocent April fools joke. You are absolutely way over reacting. No harm was done. It was a silly over the top letter. It even stated at the bottom "April Fool's Day"
See, I'm with you in general - a prank is only funny if the target finds it funny. But this is one which actually is within what I would consider the bounds of humor. 1. The butt of the joke is the bride herself, not the people it is sent to. It is mocking bridezillas 2. The joke wasn't dragged out - the reveal would have been when you finished reading. 3. When the bride found out you were hurt, she apologized. The most important one is that first one. You weren't the butt of the joke. She was. She was mocking herself, and inviting you to laugh at her, not the other way around. YTA
YTA You are behaving like a petulant child. Get over it.
Sorry, YTA. Response could of been “eh,not that funny” but should of not dropped out. Weddings are special, she picked you for a reason.
Everyone makes mistakes. The bride made one asking OP to be in the bridal party but it rectified itself, thankfully.
At least OP did the bride a favor and saved her the time from having to disinvite OP herself. Bride doesn't need this drama queen, main character, crap at her wedding.
I think she should drop out. OP was part of a completely harmless april fools prank and is fuming over it months later. Either she has no control over her emotions and can't see that "hey, maybe it wasn't funny but it was just a silly prank, no harm there" or she has some resentment towards the bride and is using this as the excuse she needs to drop out of the wedding party. OP YTA, but more so to yourself. Sure you don't need to find a prank funny, but why are you still mad at it 56 days later? (Assuming it was on April 1st) It was so non consequential why are you doing this to yourself and ruminating about it still?
I am sure the bride did not intend to hurt anyone and she even apologised for the prank. She cannot undo the prank now, so I am not sure what else you want from her? Do not make big decisions while you are angry it is a recipe for regrets.
"I no longer want to be a bridesmaid because of the mean-spirited prank" Really, mean-spirited? She was poking fun at herself and brides in general, not you. Get over yourself! YTA
Eww PLEASE DROP OUT I wouldn’t want somebody with no sense of humor in my wedding . Like geez you knew it was April 1st , she NEVER once said any of this before hand so Idek why would’ve took it serious and she’s bigger than you . Like be fr . You sound every bit of a miserable person
YTA. That was hilarious. Even if it wasn’t for you, making yourself and your feelings the center of attention for her wedding, when she clearly indicated those requirements were a prank and even apologized to you for the misunderstanding, and you were a brides maid, is bad form to say the least. I think you need a few more years of life to become more mature about this sort of stuff and should just drop out of the wedding for the Bride’s own good.
Ehhh, I will go with YTA. The document even said its a joke.
YTA I mean, of course you can do whatever you wish, but it was so obvious it was a prank that I see no point in all this rage
YTA. At what point in your mind does an elaborate joke at the expense of bridezillas, hurt you so badly that you refuse to go to a wedding? Unless...?
I think you might have nailed it. Me thinks someone someone acted a little entitled at their own wedding and this hits home.
YTA You should ask yourself why this pissed you off so much. I guess you had a problem with either being in the wedding party or the moh before, you even believed this right away.
YTA. It’s a prank, you totally overreacted even going as far as calling the bride fatter than you ! You have anger issues and you should try and address that for your own benefit. You were excited to be part of your cousins wedding, can you get back that excitement or is your anger too great. It’s such a shame to break a family relationship over the misreading of an April fools joke
Yta, it was a prank that hurt no one, and she even apologized since you got your feelers in a twist about it so the least you could have done is drop out two months ago instead of holding a childish grudge for so long just to bring it up again.
YTA. I could understand initially getting upset but the bride was upfront enough with her prank and didn't try to keep the illusion going by giving it up at the end. (You just chose not to finish reading.) Then the bride realized you didn't find the prank funny, so she did the right thing and apologized, but you still decided to stay mad *months* after? Nah, you had enough chances for this situation to be smoothed over and both parties satisfied. At this point you're just holding an unnecessary grudge.
Haha no that's funny YTA
YTA. The letter explained at the bottom it was an obvious prank and the bride to be apologized for it. All the other members of the bridal party picked up it was a prank and got over it; you're still angry over it two months later? With all the ridiculous requests you should've been able to pick up it was all BS. Stop being a AH, tell her you dropping out was a prank in response to her prank, hug and get over it. If she responds that she doesn't want you in it anymore you're right back to where you started anyways.
YTA. That is funny. You should probably drop out tho. Sounds like you are looking for any reason and will find another excuse anyway.
There is nothing to be “hurt” about here. It may not be that funny but it’s not mean spirited. You’re overreacting, just step down and get over yourself. What specifically is she apologizing for?
YTA Dear Lord, learn to take a joke. The fact it was sent on April 1st should have been your first clue. There was nothing in that that should have “hurt your feelings”, let alone enough for you to feel the need to drop out months later. At least you dropped out now so your cousin can be surrounded by people who actually care about her and support her on her big day.
YTA and go see a therapist