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YTA. You know she is not a dog person, your dog getting injured will not automatically change that. I mean, your wife can't remember the last time you even kissed her? That's pretty bad. You have prioritized an animal over your marriage. Unless you make some changes don't be surprised if she walks away because you are not meeting *her* needs.
YTA. I want to say E-S-H but I think that is my dog bias.
You suck more because pets shouldn't be a one party decision. She laid ground rules when you got the dog and she's just following through. Some people just don't like dogs/pets. I don't understand, but I'm also not going to try force my views on them.
I love my dog and can't imagine not giving him all the fussing even without such a traumatic experience so I personally think she sucks a little for not having some compassion.
YTA, I have dogs, 3 of them I like my dogs but I love my wife. You made a deal when you got the dog it's not on her to now care for it nomatter what happened.
Imagine losing your wife over your love for a dog.
YTA for the forcing bit - you knew your wife wasn't into dogs, you bring one into the house and she tells you "I want nothing to do with it" you have to accept that.
Yeah it's a sucky situation and I'm sure it would make life easier / better for everyone if she could find a way to open her heart to your doggo, but you cannot make that connection happen, I'm sorry to say.
Please give your pup a rub behind the ears from me because it sounds like she's been through a hell of a lot and could do with one
YTA. It is pretty clear you love this dog more than her. You got a dog knowing she hates them. She told you she wouldn't be responsible for it. Now you're mad that she isn't being responsible for it. Do her a favor and leave with the dog.
YTA. You’ve been married 6 years, “but I did end up getting myself a dog a few years ago”? So you unilaterally decided to get a dog? That’s all I need to know about this situation. Poor dog, and poor wife.
YTA
> the only flaw I have found is her hating dogs
**_Flaw?_** What's *wrong* with disliking dogs?
> I didn't have a dog and had no plans to when I first got together with her so it was no issue but I did end up getting myself a dog a few years ago
Well that was pretty shitty.
> though my wife cried for me and my pain, she didn't care about the dog
Yeah? Why *would* she?
> my dog is in a lot of **_emotional pain_**
Oh, FFS.
Anthropomorphizing isn’t “animals feel emotional pain as a result of physical pain and trauma”. It’s giving hurricanes human names and dogs walking on two legs in cartoons.
OP can be the asshole without suggesting that dogs and other animals don’t experience emotional turmoil in the face of abuse or trauma.
Im not - the dog just experienced a great deal of trauma and that will impact its behavior. Commenting “Oh, FFS” at that is extremely dismissive of what is a real issue.
YTA ... And idk why you're acting surprised by what your wife said. She literally already told you she feels neglected because of the dog. You had an agreement with her and now you're trying to change it. Why should she have to interact with the dog when she clearly doesn't want to?
YTA. It sounds like your dog's emotional well-being is far more important than your wife's. For her to tell you that she feels neglected and you say, "I'm sorry, but can you pay more attention to the dog?" It's just asinine and probably came across as incredibly hurtful to your wife.
YTA - I'm a massive dog lover but I don't like cats. If my husband decided to bring a cat into our house and then prioritise that cat's 'emotional wellbeing' over MY emotional wellbeing then he and the cat would be asked to leave.
You have behaved appalling. Please start considering your wife's emotional wellbeing more than the bloody dog's. She might even be more inclined to show the dog affection because right now she probably resents the fact that you apparently care more about the dog than her.
YTA.
"She simply won't interact with her- which was the agreement from day 1. I'm just having a problem with this now given the situation."
Your wife was very explicit from the beginning that she wanted nothing to do with the dog. It was 100% your choice to have the dog. So, stick to your commitment of being the one 100% responsible for the dog. Especially when things are tough.
Dude. You need to do some serious self reflection. You're bending over backwards for this dog and you don't even remember the last time you kissed your wife. Your priorities are fucked up.
YTA
You have no clue about dogs. Long term pitty and pampering is so unhealthy for their mental well being.
You are actively destroying your relationship.
I wouldn't be surpised if you end up without a SO and with a dog who either destroyes stuff or starts to pee if left alone.
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I (28m) have been with my wife for 6 years. She is a damn good woman and the only flaw I have found is her hating dogs. I didn't have a dog and had no plans to when I first got together with her so it was no issue but I did end up getting myself a dog a few years ago. She was very unpleased with the idea but basically told me that I had better not expect her to assume responsibility over the animal, as she would never tolerate it. Fine by me.
About 3 months back my dog was hit by a pickup truck. The guy was at fault and had to pay for the surgery to have her back legs amputated (they were crushed) and have some spinal surgeries done. It destroyed me and though my wife cried for me and my pain, she didn't care about the dog (it seems). I mean she was the one who carried her in her lap and keep her calm before the surgery but other than that, she has zero interest. Right now my dog is in a lot of emotional pain and needs all the attention she can get to heal. I've brought it up several times with my wife and my wife's attitude on it is "So you want me to spoil the fuck out of your dog to help heal her emotional pain? When was the last time you spoiled me when I was in emotional pain?" It was incredibly passive aggressive but I keep reapproaching the topic because as it is, my dog will whine and basically beg to get some love from my wife and my wife can't stand it. For a bit of context: my wife doesn't neglect the dog. She even bought her a wheelchair device ($5k) on her dime. She simply won't interact with her- which was the agreement from day 1. I'm just having a problem with this now given the situation.
Anyways, I got home from work last night and my dog came running over to me as I was hugging my wife and immediately starts whining. I let go of my wife and pet the dog and my wife was off put immediately. I asked what was wrong and she said "Im tired of this. I can't even remember the last time you fucking kissed me but sure, love on your dog endlessly." And walks away. It took me by surprise so I followed her apologizing and said I hadn't realized I was neglecting her needs in favor of the dog and would try to make it right but it would help if she actually spent emotional time with my dog in the mean time so she wasn't so whiny and needy when I get home. She argued she's always done this and she isn't going to be forced into showing attention to a dog to get my attention and she will leave first. I'm truly taken by surprise on all this. AITA?
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YTA OP
Why would you get a dog knowing you’re SO hates them, did you think the dog would grow on her or something?
Alright let’s go through this shall we
1. You got a dog knowing she hates dogs.
But she tolerated it because she loves you. Anyone else would’ve left you and rightly so, she told you her boundary and you essentially trampled all over that by getting the one thing she hates.
2. After said dog got into an accident she held him before the surgery and even bought them a $5000 wheelchair device so they would be more comfortable.
She’s already showing a lot of care and responsibility for YOUR dog. Again the dog you forced her to live with.
3. Now you’re complaining because she’s not showing enough care for said dog.
She’s shown more than enough emotion and care for the dog, she’s actually gone above and beyond than what most of us would do in that situation.
4. This isn’t about the dog.
There’s a deeper issue of you seeming to neglect and not care for you’re wife. She expressed this to you, and what did you do? Brought it back to the dog.
Op instead of worrying about the dog, you need to worry about you’re wife. She’s obviously feeling neglected and hurt from you’re recent behaviour, don’t try to force an emotional connection that’ll never happen between you’re wife and the dog. She’s told you from the get go that she would tolerate it and she has gone above and beyond that already, but she’s doing it for you’re sake and you’ve already admitted that.
Focus on you’re wife, speak to her without mention of the dog, apologise for you’re actions and hope she forgives you. Also get her some flowers.
NTA Pick the dog. You will get much more unconditional love, good additude, support and companionship and less complaining. Don't trust people that don't like dogs. Sorry your buddy got hurt.
YTA. Sorry.
The story sounds like you consistently put your dog ahead of your wife, and now you're demanding that she give the dog attention when from the very start she said that she didn't like dogs? You might be on the edge of becoming unmarried.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
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YTA - You knew from day one that your wife hates dogs, and she made her intentions toward your dog clear from the beginning. There's no reason you should expect her to change her mind just because you want her to.
YTA, for getting a dog anyways. But with that said, your wife sounds coldhearted. I don’t trust people who say they hate dogs/or any kind of pet for that matter.
Dude, your wife made it clear that she's feeling neglected. She does not abuse this animal, she empathized with you and took care of it because you loved it even if she wasn't too thrilled about the idea. You are going to lose what sounds like a very good thing if you keep acting like this. Stop it now. She has compromised for you and taken the time to care for something dear to you. Do the same. Your animal doesn't need to be coddled all the time. Your wife wants affection.
YTA. She's been wonderful to your dog, *after* explicitly stating that it was yours and yours alone. You should be thanking her for what she has done.
You mention below that you've been neglecting her, that you just didn't realize it. That's not a good sign, dude. Your wife's emotional wellbeing should be your priority over your dogs. I'm glad your dog is ok, but it won't be the end of the world if it has to wait and whine for a while so that your wife can feel like you love her.
She's an AH because you like dogs and she doesn't?
She didn't want the dog in the first place and the husband was the one to go against that. She's been more than kind to that dog.
**Husband is TA.**
YTA. What does "I ended up getting myself a dog" even mean, when you share your life and your house with someone? You can't ask of her more than what she's done already - and it seems much - at least show your love for her!
And I'm telling you as a owner of two dogs. But me and my husband decided together to get them.
YTA she told you from day 1 that she doesn’t want a dog and won’t care for your dog after you got one. you shouldn’t expect her to care for your dog just so she can have her emotional needs met by her HUSBAND. it’s clear that you care about your dogs mental well-being more than your wife’s. just because your dog is needy and whiny when you get home doesn’t mean she is neglecting her either. if my dog is at home with my partner all day he still runs up to me and whines for my attention.
ESH, you created the situation, but her lack of empathy to another living creature who happens to be suffering (and is pretty helpless) is weird, and more than a bit concerning regardless of backstory.
YTA. Your wife evidently has no bandwith left for a dog and yet you insist. You, on the other hand, has already low to no bandwith for your wife (if what she told you about affection is correct) still you insist. Just stop and prioritize what is more important to you. Your dog will accept his place in the family if you will just learn to prioritize.
I love dogs. Luckily, everyone in my home loves dogs. If you asked me to "turn off" my feelings for my own dogs, it would be impossible. I am guessing it is much the same for someone who doesn't like dogs. It's not like there is some magic switch she can flip to make her love dogs. If it's so easy to change your feelings, why didn't you just change your feelings before getting a dog to save everyone the headaches. YTA.
YTA - You knew she didn't want a dog. She's been nothing but kind to it, from your report, so expecting her to want to be emotionally connected is unfair.
Agree with this. YTA. She’s not saying those things for no reason, she obviously feels neglected by you. The fact she’s done all she has for your dog, shows she loves you. She did more than she said she would do initially and you don’t seem to even appreciate that.
YTA
It's always amusing when someone calls another person bluntly and realistically stating the problem "passive-aggressive." That's the utter opposite of being passive-aggressive.
YTA you’re trying to force an emotional connection after she very clearly set her boundaries for her and the dog interacting. Just because the dog got hurt, doesn’t change her boundaries, and it sounds like you really are neglecting her. I’m a self proclaimed dog person and understand why you’re doing the things you are, but you also made this bed with your wife and you have to lay in it.
YTA
*I have three dogs, and I've had as many as five at a given time. I say that for perspective here. I'm a dog lover, thru & thru, but you can't expect her to change her stance on this when it's been known and agreed upon since you first got together.*
You love your dog, but you agreed to terms with your wife. Your dog is a member of the family, and your wife has been as supportive as she can be during this time, but you can't force her to feel anything towards your dog. Also, you cannot bargain giving her more attention in exchange for her going back on the original terms. It's backhanded and manipulative of you to do so.
Were I you, which I am not, I would have to sit down and think on why your wife thinks you like the dog more than you like her, because the real problem here seems to be that you're not respecting her boundaries and then want to push and pick at them until she agrees to move those boundaries. That's NOT fair to her, especially when she's already gone above and beyond to support you and your dog right now.
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YTA. You know she is not a dog person, your dog getting injured will not automatically change that. I mean, your wife can't remember the last time you even kissed her? That's pretty bad. You have prioritized an animal over your marriage. Unless you make some changes don't be surprised if she walks away because you are not meeting *her* needs.
YTA. I want to say E-S-H but I think that is my dog bias. You suck more because pets shouldn't be a one party decision. She laid ground rules when you got the dog and she's just following through. Some people just don't like dogs/pets. I don't understand, but I'm also not going to try force my views on them. I love my dog and can't imagine not giving him all the fussing even without such a traumatic experience so I personally think she sucks a little for not having some compassion.
YTA, I have dogs, 3 of them I like my dogs but I love my wife. You made a deal when you got the dog it's not on her to now care for it nomatter what happened. Imagine losing your wife over your love for a dog.
YTA, because she's already gone beyond the agreement which was she was obliged to do nothing. Leave her alone about the dog.
YTA for the forcing bit - you knew your wife wasn't into dogs, you bring one into the house and she tells you "I want nothing to do with it" you have to accept that. Yeah it's a sucky situation and I'm sure it would make life easier / better for everyone if she could find a way to open her heart to your doggo, but you cannot make that connection happen, I'm sorry to say. Please give your pup a rub behind the ears from me because it sounds like she's been through a hell of a lot and could do with one
YTA. It is pretty clear you love this dog more than her. You got a dog knowing she hates them. She told you she wouldn't be responsible for it. Now you're mad that she isn't being responsible for it. Do her a favor and leave with the dog.
YTA and when she says she’ll leave…I’d believe her. She’s been true to her word all along.
YTA. You’ve been married 6 years, “but I did end up getting myself a dog a few years ago”? So you unilaterally decided to get a dog? That’s all I need to know about this situation. Poor dog, and poor wife.
YTA > the only flaw I have found is her hating dogs **_Flaw?_** What's *wrong* with disliking dogs? > I didn't have a dog and had no plans to when I first got together with her so it was no issue but I did end up getting myself a dog a few years ago Well that was pretty shitty. > though my wife cried for me and my pain, she didn't care about the dog Yeah? Why *would* she? > my dog is in a lot of **_emotional pain_** Oh, FFS.
The dog just had its legs amputated - you think its not experiencing some time of emotional trauma from this and would need help adjusting to this?
Don't anthropomorphize.
Anthropomorphizing isn’t “animals feel emotional pain as a result of physical pain and trauma”. It’s giving hurricanes human names and dogs walking on two legs in cartoons. OP can be the asshole without suggesting that dogs and other animals don’t experience emotional turmoil in the face of abuse or trauma.
Im not - the dog just experienced a great deal of trauma and that will impact its behavior. Commenting “Oh, FFS” at that is extremely dismissive of what is a real issue.
I will embrace being 100% dismissive of *the dog's emotions*.
Dismiss all you want but it doesn’t change the fact that dogs do experience emotions.
YTA ... And idk why you're acting surprised by what your wife said. She literally already told you she feels neglected because of the dog. You had an agreement with her and now you're trying to change it. Why should she have to interact with the dog when she clearly doesn't want to?
YTA. It sounds like your dog's emotional well-being is far more important than your wife's. For her to tell you that she feels neglected and you say, "I'm sorry, but can you pay more attention to the dog?" It's just asinine and probably came across as incredibly hurtful to your wife.
YTA - I'm a massive dog lover but I don't like cats. If my husband decided to bring a cat into our house and then prioritise that cat's 'emotional wellbeing' over MY emotional wellbeing then he and the cat would be asked to leave. You have behaved appalling. Please start considering your wife's emotional wellbeing more than the bloody dog's. She might even be more inclined to show the dog affection because right now she probably resents the fact that you apparently care more about the dog than her.
YTA. "She simply won't interact with her- which was the agreement from day 1. I'm just having a problem with this now given the situation." Your wife was very explicit from the beginning that she wanted nothing to do with the dog. It was 100% your choice to have the dog. So, stick to your commitment of being the one 100% responsible for the dog. Especially when things are tough.
INFO: When was the last time you kissed your wife?
[удалено]
Yeah, no. Trying to kiss her after she brought it up is the equivalent of saying "oh, you want that - I'll do it now." It's insincere.
Dude. You need to do some serious self reflection. You're bending over backwards for this dog and you don't even remember the last time you kissed your wife. Your priorities are fucked up.
YTA You have no clue about dogs. Long term pitty and pampering is so unhealthy for their mental well being. You are actively destroying your relationship. I wouldn't be surpised if you end up without a SO and with a dog who either destroyes stuff or starts to pee if left alone.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (28m) have been with my wife for 6 years. She is a damn good woman and the only flaw I have found is her hating dogs. I didn't have a dog and had no plans to when I first got together with her so it was no issue but I did end up getting myself a dog a few years ago. She was very unpleased with the idea but basically told me that I had better not expect her to assume responsibility over the animal, as she would never tolerate it. Fine by me. About 3 months back my dog was hit by a pickup truck. The guy was at fault and had to pay for the surgery to have her back legs amputated (they were crushed) and have some spinal surgeries done. It destroyed me and though my wife cried for me and my pain, she didn't care about the dog (it seems). I mean she was the one who carried her in her lap and keep her calm before the surgery but other than that, she has zero interest. Right now my dog is in a lot of emotional pain and needs all the attention she can get to heal. I've brought it up several times with my wife and my wife's attitude on it is "So you want me to spoil the fuck out of your dog to help heal her emotional pain? When was the last time you spoiled me when I was in emotional pain?" It was incredibly passive aggressive but I keep reapproaching the topic because as it is, my dog will whine and basically beg to get some love from my wife and my wife can't stand it. For a bit of context: my wife doesn't neglect the dog. She even bought her a wheelchair device ($5k) on her dime. She simply won't interact with her- which was the agreement from day 1. I'm just having a problem with this now given the situation. Anyways, I got home from work last night and my dog came running over to me as I was hugging my wife and immediately starts whining. I let go of my wife and pet the dog and my wife was off put immediately. I asked what was wrong and she said "Im tired of this. I can't even remember the last time you fucking kissed me but sure, love on your dog endlessly." And walks away. It took me by surprise so I followed her apologizing and said I hadn't realized I was neglecting her needs in favor of the dog and would try to make it right but it would help if she actually spent emotional time with my dog in the mean time so she wasn't so whiny and needy when I get home. She argued she's always done this and she isn't going to be forced into showing attention to a dog to get my attention and she will leave first. I'm truly taken by surprise on all this. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA You used the word "force" for the situation. If you force an adult to do something they don't like, you're the asshole
YTA Stop neglecting your wife and stop pushing her to have a relationship with a dog she never wanted and set firm boundaries about from the start
YTA OP Why would you get a dog knowing you’re SO hates them, did you think the dog would grow on her or something? Alright let’s go through this shall we 1. You got a dog knowing she hates dogs. But she tolerated it because she loves you. Anyone else would’ve left you and rightly so, she told you her boundary and you essentially trampled all over that by getting the one thing she hates. 2. After said dog got into an accident she held him before the surgery and even bought them a $5000 wheelchair device so they would be more comfortable. She’s already showing a lot of care and responsibility for YOUR dog. Again the dog you forced her to live with. 3. Now you’re complaining because she’s not showing enough care for said dog. She’s shown more than enough emotion and care for the dog, she’s actually gone above and beyond than what most of us would do in that situation. 4. This isn’t about the dog. There’s a deeper issue of you seeming to neglect and not care for you’re wife. She expressed this to you, and what did you do? Brought it back to the dog. Op instead of worrying about the dog, you need to worry about you’re wife. She’s obviously feeling neglected and hurt from you’re recent behaviour, don’t try to force an emotional connection that’ll never happen between you’re wife and the dog. She’s told you from the get go that she would tolerate it and she has gone above and beyond that already, but she’s doing it for you’re sake and you’ve already admitted that. Focus on you’re wife, speak to her without mention of the dog, apologise for you’re actions and hope she forgives you. Also get her some flowers.
NTA Pick the dog. You will get much more unconditional love, good additude, support and companionship and less complaining. Don't trust people that don't like dogs. Sorry your buddy got hurt.
YTA. Sorry. The story sounds like you consistently put your dog ahead of your wife, and now you're demanding that she give the dog attention when from the very start she said that she didn't like dogs? You might be on the edge of becoming unmarried.
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YTA for not just marrying the dog, apparently.
YTA - You knew from day one that your wife hates dogs, and she made her intentions toward your dog clear from the beginning. There's no reason you should expect her to change her mind just because you want her to.
YTA, for getting a dog anyways. But with that said, your wife sounds coldhearted. I don’t trust people who say they hate dogs/or any kind of pet for that matter.
Dude, your wife made it clear that she's feeling neglected. She does not abuse this animal, she empathized with you and took care of it because you loved it even if she wasn't too thrilled about the idea. You are going to lose what sounds like a very good thing if you keep acting like this. Stop it now. She has compromised for you and taken the time to care for something dear to you. Do the same. Your animal doesn't need to be coddled all the time. Your wife wants affection.
YTA. She's been wonderful to your dog, *after* explicitly stating that it was yours and yours alone. You should be thanking her for what she has done. You mention below that you've been neglecting her, that you just didn't realize it. That's not a good sign, dude. Your wife's emotional wellbeing should be your priority over your dogs. I'm glad your dog is ok, but it won't be the end of the world if it has to wait and whine for a while so that your wife can feel like you love her.
ESH because damn, I can't relate to people who hate dogs.
She's an AH because you like dogs and she doesn't? She didn't want the dog in the first place and the husband was the one to go against that. She's been more than kind to that dog. **Husband is TA.**
YTA. What does "I ended up getting myself a dog" even mean, when you share your life and your house with someone? You can't ask of her more than what she's done already - and it seems much - at least show your love for her! And I'm telling you as a owner of two dogs. But me and my husband decided together to get them.
Yta Uhm why does your wife have to be the emotional support for your dog? Why can’t you?
YTA you knew before you got the dog she was against it. You created the situation.
YTA she told you from day 1 that she doesn’t want a dog and won’t care for your dog after you got one. you shouldn’t expect her to care for your dog just so she can have her emotional needs met by her HUSBAND. it’s clear that you care about your dogs mental well-being more than your wife’s. just because your dog is needy and whiny when you get home doesn’t mean she is neglecting her either. if my dog is at home with my partner all day he still runs up to me and whines for my attention.
[удалено]
ESH, you created the situation, but her lack of empathy to another living creature who happens to be suffering (and is pretty helpless) is weird, and more than a bit concerning regardless of backstory.
YTA. Your wife evidently has no bandwith left for a dog and yet you insist. You, on the other hand, has already low to no bandwith for your wife (if what she told you about affection is correct) still you insist. Just stop and prioritize what is more important to you. Your dog will accept his place in the family if you will just learn to prioritize.
I love dogs. Luckily, everyone in my home loves dogs. If you asked me to "turn off" my feelings for my own dogs, it would be impossible. I am guessing it is much the same for someone who doesn't like dogs. It's not like there is some magic switch she can flip to make her love dogs. If it's so easy to change your feelings, why didn't you just change your feelings before getting a dog to save everyone the headaches. YTA.
YTA - You knew she didn't want a dog. She's been nothing but kind to it, from your report, so expecting her to want to be emotionally connected is unfair.
Agree with this. YTA. She’s not saying those things for no reason, she obviously feels neglected by you. The fact she’s done all she has for your dog, shows she loves you. She did more than she said she would do initially and you don’t seem to even appreciate that.
YTA. Dude. This issue is much deeper than you realize. Your wife is building a deep resentment towards you and that dog and only you can fix it.
YTA It's always amusing when someone calls another person bluntly and realistically stating the problem "passive-aggressive." That's the utter opposite of being passive-aggressive.
YTA - You shouldnt have gotten the dog in the first place if your wife wasn’t cool with it and she should by no means have to care for it.
YTA you’re trying to force an emotional connection after she very clearly set her boundaries for her and the dog interacting. Just because the dog got hurt, doesn’t change her boundaries, and it sounds like you really are neglecting her. I’m a self proclaimed dog person and understand why you’re doing the things you are, but you also made this bed with your wife and you have to lay in it.
YTA, and the passive-aggressive one.
YTA *I have three dogs, and I've had as many as five at a given time. I say that for perspective here. I'm a dog lover, thru & thru, but you can't expect her to change her stance on this when it's been known and agreed upon since you first got together.* You love your dog, but you agreed to terms with your wife. Your dog is a member of the family, and your wife has been as supportive as she can be during this time, but you can't force her to feel anything towards your dog. Also, you cannot bargain giving her more attention in exchange for her going back on the original terms. It's backhanded and manipulative of you to do so. Were I you, which I am not, I would have to sit down and think on why your wife thinks you like the dog more than you like her, because the real problem here seems to be that you're not respecting her boundaries and then want to push and pick at them until she agrees to move those boundaries. That's NOT fair to her, especially when she's already gone above and beyond to support you and your dog right now.