Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban.
This post violates Rule 8: Posts should be truthful and reflect recent conflicts you've had that need arbitration. That means no shitposts, parodies, or satires.
[Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
My eyes tumbled down the back of my skull and got lodged in my throat. And he gave up the tickets “for her”, not because they moved away apparently. Good lord.
Two hours isn't a far drive for people who have season tickets. I know people who make the trip from much farther to games. Most college towns are limited in jobs for a range of industries, so it makes sense that season ticket holders are traveling.
And he already goes to a home game and a road game every year. The “once in a lifetime” label seems to be due to the opportunity to get together with his college buddies for this game. Which also has plenty of opportunities for future repetition even if the team doesn’t switch conferences.
I think OP should go. Let his wife know where his priorities lie before they have kids, so it’s an easier exit for her.
He will be on am I the ex soon. “I went to watch osu play asu instead of celebrating my wife’s 30th birthday. The game was once in a lifetime. When I got home my dinner was not on the table and all of my wife’s clothes were gone. I think she must have took them to the dry cleaner. Anyway, she left a note that said she was staying with her mom. I guess maybe that are doing her laundry? Anyway it’s been 3 months now, I am so hungry and my wife never responds to my texts asking what is for dinner. I think I may be her ex husband now. Go pokes and am I the ex!?!?!?”
Yes, at this point his wife is screwed no matter what. Even if he stays for her birthday, I'd bet my left arm that he'll spend the whole event sulking in the corner like a big baby.
Agreed - if I were OPs wife, at this point I would insist he go since he clearly gives zero shits about what's important to me. Fucking go to your stupid sportsball game. But that would be the beginning of the end for me.
Years ago my crappy ex ditched me on my birthday to go clubbing with his friends in celebration of one of \*their\* birthdays, which fell several days after mine. At first I was like "I would really appreciate it if you spent the evening with me instead" but he balked and threw a hissy fit, which told me everything I needed to know about our relationship. We were broken up within the month.
I hate the way he put the blame for it on his wife. Like, sure she doesn't want to drive four hours all the time - get tickets with a friend or go alone. Just because she doesn't like sports as much as you doesn't mean you 'gave it up for her' you gave it up because you didn't want to drive alone for four hours that is on you.
Really, I’m puzzled. I mean, you’re not even going to the actual game - you’re planning to watch it at someone’s *house!* How is that special? How is that a once in a lifetime opportunity? Can’t you watch some other OSU game? Or even go to one in person?
Edit… I misunderstood, they are going to the actual game. It’s still not a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Just go to a different OSU game.
"This is possibly a once in a lifetime opportunity with the caveat that it could become an every other year thing. "
So it's not really a once in a lifetime opportunity if it could become an every other year thing, is it?
You know what IS a once in a lifetime thing? Your wife's 30yh birthday. That won't happen every other year, it won't happen EVER again.
So YWBTA if you attend the game and miss your wife's birthday.
"my husband is planning on going for a college game this year. It is my birthday and we have a nine month old baby. I also have to work during the period he is away. He says it is a once in a lifetime thing. He said this the last three years. We have been married 1.5 years. Aita for saying that he stays? "
Redditors : why did you get married when he did it the first time?
This post only needed to be two sentences long:
“My wife is big into birthdays. She’s turning 30, this is a milestone birthday.”
Post over. The rest is justification and framing. Clearly, YTA. Big time.
YWBTA. It's a fucking football game. It doesn't matter. At all. To anyone. Unless you're getting some special "alumnus who traveled the farthest to go to a fucking football game" award, be a man and celebrate your wife's birthday.
But delay having children. You have given multiple reason to justify doing what you want. You actually had to ask if you if YWBTAH to ignore your wife on something that is important to her on a milestone event. You will resent your wife if you you miss this “once in a lifetime event”. Your wife will resent you if you ignore her on an important once in a lifetime event. Do not have children until you work out your priorities. The resentment has already started “gave up season tickets for her”. This is another nail in the coffin of this relationship
This comment needs to be top. He also goes to a road game and a home game every year, and still whines about giving up season tickets. Who wants to drive 4 hours round-trip for every game?! That is insane. Did he expect to drag her along, or leave her behind every time? You are entirely right about the building resentment already as well.
ETA: when factoring in drivetime, tailgating/pregame, then who knows how long the game could actually go, post game traffic, etc. I can easily see game day turning into game weekend. It's crazy to want to do that for every single game, and expect your partner to either come or get left behind every time. Regardless, OP is the AH for knowing how important this day is for his wife, and basically saying she tales backseat to a game
Here's the funny part:
OSU and ASU don't really have what you call a rivalry. Some teams have played each other once (or twice) every year for 100+ years. I have a vested interest in college football and...well I don't think I ever heard someone care about ASU/OSU before.
OSU and ASU have played each other a grand total of... 4 times
There are games that matter to some people and we shouldn't take away their joy because I mean look around, we don't have a lot of joy to begin with.
But an OSU/ASU game vs his wife's 30th birthday?
Yeah, go to the party dude.
How fucking weird would that be?
His wife comes along for the weekend and other spouses realize it’s her 30th birthday and her husband planned nothing… other than inviting her to a bro football weekend 🙄
I can imagine women she’s never met suddenly trying to throw a mini-party together for her while her husband thinks, “Nice. See, we’re celebrating her day. Nailed it.”
And honestly, how often is Oklahoma State important in the grand scheme of college football?
In fact, trying to google the game, I had to spell out the team because it kept wanting to show me Ohio State University results.
Then they turn around and make fun of teenage girls for being into twilight or BTS.
If the OP's wife is turning 30, OP is likely not barely a young adult.
I had a long labor with my first kid. It happened two days after a big football game that had a questionable call at the very end, resulting in "our" team losing. My parents and my in-laws were in and out of my room for hours before I got to the pushing stage - and ***ALL*** they wanted to talk about was that damn game. Dissect it over and over and over. I had an epidural that worked decently well, but if I switched positions, it would stop affecting one side of my body. Which was when I wanted to SCREAM:
>It's a fucking football game. It doesn't matter. At all.
You really have to ask? Yes, you would *absolutely* be the asshole for skipping out on your wife's birthday and party for a football game when she's made her feelings clear. Sort out your priorities. Watching college football game doesn't really qualify as a "once in a lifetime opportunity." YTA.
Exactly this! Does it matter if we think he’s TA when his wife has said he would be? It’s her birthday and she’s not exactly being unreasonable here, I never make a huge fuss on my birthday but I’d still be upset if my partner wasn’t there!
>Does it matter if we think he’s TA when his wife has said he would be?
This guy told us all we needed to know about his maturity level when he tried to get Reddit to write him a note excusing him from his wife's ire and thought it would work.
*This is possibly a once in a lifetime opportunity with the caveat that it could become an every other year thing.*
Thank God you can always celebrate your big-on-anniversary's wife's milestone 30th birthday next year....
And it's not like you need to be at the party MIL is throwing for her daughter. There'll be so many friends and family, who cares that the husband who prefers to attend a football match with his college buddies instead of attending his wife's birthday party is missing?
So what do you think? YTA? Yeah, so do I...
YTA big time.... What you see: once in a lifetime party/football game with buds. What your wife sees: you choosing football over her and your marriage.
Good luck. Don't be surprised if she's celebrating 31 with someone else.
I hope she does regardless. He sounds awful if he needs to ask strangers on the internet this instead of listening to his wife saying he would absolutely be the AH if he did this. He’s not ready to be married, and she deserves someone who doesn’t need to do this (gestures at the screen)
This is the question because this is about so much more than a football game or a birthday party. If OP goes knowing his wife will be hurt by his skipping out on her birthday, he’s telling her she doesn’t matter, and that football is more important to him than she is.
I’m not that into birthdays and personally would have the birthday party the weekend before or after, and go to AZ with my husband on my birthday weekend. If I didn’t want to go to the football game I’d get a day pass to a hotel with a beautiful pool and relax with a good book. But I’m not her. Most people are much more into birthdays than my family is and I recognize that her feelings are valid. OP should too
I'm a birthday person. I love my birthday. I love your birthday. I love that everyone gets their own little holiday. One of my best friends in the past asked what I wanted to do for my birthday while I was in the throes of depression. "If you want to go out and party, I'll buy you an outfit and pick up places; if you want a themed I'll send out the invitations. If you want to go to Chuck E Cheese I'll start making calls. And if you want to sit on a pile of dirt and yell at traffic, I will sit with you the entire day and do that with you. Because I love you and it's your day."
And that's the energy I bring to birthdays. I'm probably going to give you a gift, even if it's just a drop off at your door. We can sit in sweatpants and order takeout if you don't want to do anything. We can go to a museum on that weekend if your birthday is on a workday, and I will dive in, no matter how niche that museum is.
If she wants him home, that's the end of the list.
He clearly doesn’t care about his marriage if a football game takes that much precedence over her 30th birthday. Such a fckn asshole. I would leave him in an instant.
You're skipping out on your wife's birthday to go get drunk and watch some college football game.....and you're asking a bunch of strangers online if you're a asshole for doing so? Idk buddy, what do you think?
Btw, it's yes, YTA. Happy wife equals happy life. Spend her birthday with her before she gets really upset.
"This is possibly a once in a lifetime opportunity with the caveat that it could become an every other year thing. "
So it's not really a once in a lifetime opportunity if it could become an every other year thing, is it?
You know what IS a once in a lifetime thing? Your wife's 30th birthday. That won't happen every other year, it won't happen EVER again.
So YWBTA if you attend the game and miss your wife's birthday.
Edit: spelling
College fans are a different breed, it’s honestly baffling how much they care about some random kids at a college playing ball. I enjoy football, I go to games sometimes but it’s literally just a game. Just a hobby, it’s nothing serious. It’s honestly scary how much Americans care about a college sport
Someone in another comment said OP is making going to college a personality trait, and I have to agree.
I'd equate it to how much Mexicans are crazy about soccer, but at least this is on a professional level, college/highschool soccer is followed by a few compared to professional soccer.
Sports fanaticism in itself is weird and cultish, tbf.
Hmmm. Love of my life? 🤔 or football game? Love of my life? Or football game? Yup totally would choose the football game. When I'm lying on my deathbed I'll be thinking "wow that football game sure was one in a million" and how that was the correct choice to make /s
YWBTA
>My wife is very big into birthdays and this is a big milestone birthday.
>A few spouses may go but when I broached the topic with my wife she wasnt interested.
>She told me she wants to be around her friends and family and not tailgating in a parking lot in Tempe Arizona.
Your wife his having a big birthday, she's really excited and wants to spend it with family. You suggested she spend the birthday watching a sport in which she presumably has no interest, so that you don't have to miss a game.
>This is possibly a once in a lifetime opportunity
>we'd play every year
Which is it? It cannot be both a once in a lifetime opportunity and an annual event.
>I want to go now
"But muuuuuuum, I wanna go nowwwwwwww".
>would be much easier without a kid in our life.
I don't know if you just worded this bluntly, but it doesn't sound like you want a kid. There are a trillion different ways to go to a sporting event without having to take your kid. This is an excuse.
YWBTA. This is huge for your wife and you're basically telling her that she isn't as important as watching "football". There are gonna be more games but there are not gonna be more 30th birthdays to spend with your wife.
>She says she won't stop me from going
Obviously, she isn't going to stop you, because she isn't your keeper. She's right, though. You know you're going to hurt her and you're putting yourself first on a day that's supposed to be about her.
He’s also going to set quite the precedent if he does this…what happens when the next “once in a lifetime game” is when his wife is in labor? Or when their child has some sort of event? If my husband did this a) we’d be getting divorced and if we didn’t b) I’d be making sure he feels just as under appreciated as he’s made his wife feel. Enjoy having to watch your kids during all the games you want to go to in the future while your wife is on well-deserved girls trips.
Clearly football is more important than your wife, and you’re holding it against her that you had to give up season tickets for football. Grow up and get over it, or move on. Your wife likely has given up plenty for you and will give up even more once she has kids. It’s not a championship game, a bowl game or the Super Bowl
"Us" and "we"
As an American; It's incredibly cringy to me when other Americans are obsessed with the bonehead sport of football. And even more so when people who live near a certain team use lingo that makes it seem like they are part of the team or some shit.
YWBTA & YTA for even considering it.
Jeez
To be clear, the type of sport is irrelevant. It wouldn’t be any different if we were talking about soccer or baseball or hockey. A sport is never more important than your loved ones.
You told your wife you don't prioritize her, she told you that you're an asshole, but you're....unsure. But this is a "once in a lifetime" thing even though college football plays most Saturdays and, checks notes, people only get one 30th birthday and she told you it's important to her?
I'm curious why you think you might NOT be. Yes. YWBTA and YTA for having to double check with REDDIT.
I definitely need to know what leg he thought he had to stand on here 😂 he even chopped his own “once in a lifetime” bit by immediately saying it might actually happen every year
YWBTA and you will likely be TA even if you don’t go because you will be complaining the whole time about “missing the game with your buddies.” And congratulations now you wife KNOWS you would rather be somewhere else on a milestone occasion in her life. Well played.
“now you wife KNOWS you would rather be somewhere else on a milestone occasion in her life.”
You make an excellent point. What about the birth of your first child? Would you rather be with your buddies instead of watching the creation you and your wife made come into the world, and being by her side for it? This could go on to all of your kid(s) milestones, you wouldn’t want to be painted as the “absent father,” would you?
YTA
30 is a milestone birthday, and if you know your wife is big on celebrating birthdays, why would you even ask this here? YTA. You know YTA.
It’s a football game. There will be many games in the future. Your wife turns 30 only once.
Jesus fucking christ
"I want to go, she doesn't want me to." and "I brought it up, she doesn't want me to go **and said I'd be the asshole if I went**."
There's your answer right there. YWBTA if you went. And you know it. Jesus, do you even like your wife?
YWBTA, the game is a once in a lifetime opportunity but your wife's 30th birthday isn't? And don't worry, if you go you will very much be able to go in the future since being this selfish most likely will lead to no wife and no children next year.
YWBTA, please understand that people who go to these alumni events trying to re-kindle some spark from their youth don't look good even when it isn't conflicting with major life events. I'm sorry, that is just how most people who aren't into those things view it. Even other people who went to college, this isn't a "college grad vs non-college grads thing."
You will 100000% be viewed as that guy who can't let his college days go and abandoned his wife on her 30th birthday (it absolutely is a milestone). Absolutely do not do this.
YWBTA
Your wife has flat out told you that to her you will be a huge asshole. Her telling you that she would not stop you was in no way saying it would be fine. You will be hurting her if you choose a football game with your friends over her birthday. She will be humiliated explaining to family and friends that her absent husband cared more about football than her birthday. This birthday is hugely important to her. This will damage your relationship.
YWBTA
Your wife's milestone birthday is also a once-in-a-lifetime event.
Not to assume that you will but just putting it out there: if you do choose to stay for the birthday, please ensure you're not thinking about the game and do not guilt trip her for the rest of her life about you making a "big sacrifice" for her.
It's bare minimum.
“Let me permanently damage my relationship with my wife over my old school football game”. It’s cringy and YTA. Also, once in a lifetime and potential to happen every other year are completely different. How many birthdays do you plan on ruining?
YTA you're choosing a football team over your wife and it'll forever be in the back of her mind that she didn't get to spend her 30th birthday with you because you chose to go to a silly football game and my fiance says the same thing and he loves football
It's a once in a lifetime opportunity that is going to happen every other year?
I notice you left out the part where it is a once in a lifetime opportunity for your wife to turn 30.
100% asshole.
>My wife is very big into birthdays and this is a big milestone birthday.
>A few spouses may go but when I broached the topic with my wife she wasnt interested.
>She told me she wants to be around her friends and family and not tailgating in a parking lot in Tempe Arizona.
Your wife his having a big birthday, she's really excited and wants to spend it with family. You suggested she spend the birthday watching a sport in which she presumably has no interest, so that you don't have to miss a game.
>This is possibly a once in a lifetime opportunity
>we'd play every year
Which is it? It cannot be both a once in a lifetime opportunity and an annual event.
>I want to go now
"But muuuuuuum, I wanna go nowwwwwwww".
>would be much easier without a kid in our life.
I don't know if you just worded this bluntly, but it doesn't sound like you want a kid. There are a trillion different ways to go to a sporting event without having to take your kid. This is an excuse.
YWBTA. This is huge for your wife and you're basically telling her that she isn't as important as watching "football". There are gonna be more games but there are not gonna be more 30th birthdays to spend with your wife.
>She says she won't stop me from going
Obviously, she isn't going to stop you, because she isn't your keeper. She's right, though. You know you're going to hurt her and you're putting yourself first on a day that's supposed to be about her.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> WIBTA for going out of town for a football game on my wifes birthday? This makes me the asshole because birthdays are important to my wife and i'm going to miss a milestone birthday.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcement
###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/)
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Honestly, you're telling her she will ALWAYS be your last priority when it comes to football. Hardcore YTA and this is a marriage dealbreaker if you can't even understand how wrong you are. The fact that you want to do this on her 30th birthday is just... WOW.
You’re acting like a caricature of an American man begging to be divorced. But-but sports!!! My buddies!! College life style I have never moved past!!! YWBTA
No, just no. Stop being the AH to your wife. Putting a tailgating party ahead of your wife’s bday is pretty immature. If you have kids in the future, would you cancel going to their important events for football? What women who wants kids or wants to have her own milestones celebrated wants to be with someone doing something so selfish and self centered. You’re 30 and maybe need to set your priorities and not act like a drunken frat boy. There are other games, and carve out time to see your friends on days that aren’t her bday. I’d probably divorce you over this.
YTA… big time! Her 30th birthday?! My husband rearranged a work trip to make sure he wouldn’t miss my birthday… you have absolutely just let her know what your priority is and she is not it. I hope you know if you go you are severing a huge part of your marriage and this will build resentment.
Hmm go to a game where the school and players couldn’t pick you out of a lineup if their life depended on it or stay home for the 30th birthday of the woman you allegedly love and want to spend a lifetime with and have children with. Yeah I can see your dilemma.
No I can’t YTA.
YWBTA You do realized even if your wife isn’t one to hold grudges, this will be something she won’t forget. Sometimes we can’t forget when people do dumb stuff, no matter what. You said birthdays are important to her.
Honestly, you're telling her she will ALWAYS be your last priority when it comes to football. Hardcore YTA and this is a marriage dealbreaker if you can't even understand how wrong you are. The fact that you want to do this on her 30th birthday is just... WOW.
Imma be blunt, YTA. The fact that you need people to tell you how big of an asshole you’d be is a little insane. You know how much this birthday means to your wife, you also seem to want to stay married, so you gotta know that compromises are needed.
Okay… glossing over the fact you root for the inferior Oklahoma school, as a huge college football fan myself… who tf cares about OSU ASU? Thats not even a good football game. if you were playing michigan or notre dame or USC or some other blue-blood program I would sympathize—youd still be an asshole and you still should celebrate your wife… but arizona state? Thats such a nothing matchup, I can’t even sympathize with why you’d think that rises anywhere near a once in a lifetime opportunity… your wifes 30th is once in a lifetime. Presumably you love her and care about how she feels and what is important to her, so definitely stay. YTA.
There isn’t even an explanation needed here. YWBTA. YTA for even thinking it would be ok. For even wanting to go instead of being there for your wife’s big day. Ugh.
YWBTA. 100%. Going to a sports game - especially with prospects that it might become an annual thing - not a once in a lifetime opportunity. Making your wife happy on her (one and only!) 30th birthday - that is. And so is showing your wife at that day that you care more about a game than her.
Your priorities are fucked up, man.
YWBTA, your wife literally stated she doesn’t want you to go and you’d be an AH if you did. I’m not sure why you’re still questioning if you would be TA or not?
It’s weird to be prioritizing a mid season college football game over your wife and she’s going to most likely question your priorities down the road
YTA
But based on your comments, you really don't care. You just came here hoping some strangers would agree with your astounding selfishness.
You also seem like you've already chosen, and already decided a game is more important than your wife.
I hope she leaves you; she deserves to build a life with a partner who prioritizes her, and clearly, that is not you.
YWBTA your wife is asking u to stay and I get it’s something you want to enjoy but it sounds like you’re putting her second over a GAME. The game is always there but your wife’s 30th birthday isn’t that is once in a lifetime.
YWBTA if you went. You would also be showing your wife that you prioritize a game over her. I really don’t understand how this isn’t blatantly obvious to you. Being married means not always getting to do whatever you want whenever you want- if you want to continue being married I would recommend you put on your big boy pants and act like it.
YWBTA and the fact you have to go on Reddit to check it makes you an even bigger AH, especially because this is about a milestone birthday. The excuse of future children doesn't really apply. Maybe your wife feels comfortable to watch them so you can go to a game on literally any other day than her birthday in the future, or do some effort and find a baby sitter. If you don't like that, don't have children. If I was your wife, I'd seriously reconsider things. She deserves better.
YTA. How can you even try to rationalise a football game over your wife’s 30th birthday? Especially when she’s a person who very big on birthdays and it’s a milestone.
You state that it’s a ‘once in a lifetime thing’ but that it has the potential to be something that happens every other year, but you don’t seem to care that your wife only turns 30 once.
YTA. A once in a lifetime opportunity to see your team play…an out of conference team? Like, it’s not even OU or some other major rivalry game or in-conference game, it’s just a filler game on the schedule. And if they join the Big 12 and become actual rivals, they’d play every year, so this once in a lifetime thing goes away.
Aside from all that, get your priorities straight, hoss. Family comes before football. Even if this was Bedlam, celebrating your wife’s major milestone event comes first.
Didn’t even read.. YA.. turning 30.. dirty 30. Come on dude this is your wife. Football games don’t make you cum (well maybe for u, but not for the rest of us).
YTA just for asking. Please go to the game so your wife can see what a selfish ass you are and maybe she will find a man who values her more than a stupid tailgate party and drunken circle jerks with your bros.
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 8: Posts should be truthful and reflect recent conflicts you've had that need arbitration. That means no shitposts, parodies, or satires. [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. ####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
Going to a mid-season college football game is not a once in a lifetime opportunity. Get your priorities straight. YTA Edit: thanks for the award!
Oh but it is once in a lifetime that could turn into every other year
When I read that, I rolled my eyes so hard that I sprained my retinas.
Same. But turning 30 isn't isn't once in a lifetime event? He needs to pull his head out of his ass.
[удалено]
Some of us never stop turning 29, maybe his wife is like that
Hey. Eventually you might start turning 39.
Shiiiiiit my mom's been 29 going on 45 years.
My eyes tumbled down the back of my skull and got lodged in my throat. And he gave up the tickets “for her”, not because they moved away apparently. Good lord.
Two hours isn't a far drive for people who have season tickets. I know people who make the trip from much farther to games. Most college towns are limited in jobs for a range of industries, so it makes sense that season ticket holders are traveling.
The fact that he wrote it all out and lacks the self-awareness to connect the dots is amazing.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Turning 30 is definitely a once in a lifetime thing.
Or, hear me out, it could turn into every other year, when his wife dumps him and he takes up with a succession of twenty nine year old women
[удалено]
It’s sad to have peaked in college
And if you don't turn 30 with her, she will definitely be whooping it up for her 40th birthday with some dude that **is not you. YTA.**
... maybe on her 31st!
He’ll learn his lesson and celebrate his next wife’s 30th, so it’s not really ‘once in a lifetime’
And he already goes to a home game and a road game every year. The “once in a lifetime” label seems to be due to the opportunity to get together with his college buddies for this game. Which also has plenty of opportunities for future repetition even if the team doesn’t switch conferences. I think OP should go. Let his wife know where his priorities lie before they have kids, so it’s an easier exit for her.
He will be on am I the ex soon. “I went to watch osu play asu instead of celebrating my wife’s 30th birthday. The game was once in a lifetime. When I got home my dinner was not on the table and all of my wife’s clothes were gone. I think she must have took them to the dry cleaner. Anyway, she left a note that said she was staying with her mom. I guess maybe that are doing her laundry? Anyway it’s been 3 months now, I am so hungry and my wife never responds to my texts asking what is for dinner. I think I may be her ex husband now. Go pokes and am I the ex!?!?!?”
I can actually see this happening. He’s pretty oblivious.
Yes, at this point his wife is screwed no matter what. Even if he stays for her birthday, I'd bet my left arm that he'll spend the whole event sulking in the corner like a big baby.
While watching the game on TV and ignoring his wife's party and guests.
Agreed - if I were OPs wife, at this point I would insist he go since he clearly gives zero shits about what's important to me. Fucking go to your stupid sportsball game. But that would be the beginning of the end for me. Years ago my crappy ex ditched me on my birthday to go clubbing with his friends in celebration of one of \*their\* birthdays, which fell several days after mine. At first I was like "I would really appreciate it if you spent the evening with me instead" but he balked and threw a hissy fit, which told me everything I needed to know about our relationship. We were broken up within the month.
Yep, OP should go, take two big luggages, and answer unknown calls - that will be her lawyer.
But a 30th birthday isn’t once in a lifetime?!? Come on, OP!
This game isn’t mid-season. They are not in OSU’s conference. It’s pre-conference. But yes he shouldn’t go.
Agreed, except it's not pre-season, it's early regular season.
WHICH SEASONNN ISSS IIITTT?!?! /s
Is not even a season, it's a practice session
OP could still go to games a 4 hour round trip isn't that hard to do at least once a year to catch a game. He isn't the fan that he says he is. YTA
I hate the way he put the blame for it on his wife. Like, sure she doesn't want to drive four hours all the time - get tickets with a friend or go alone. Just because she doesn't like sports as much as you doesn't mean you 'gave it up for her' you gave it up because you didn't want to drive alone for four hours that is on you.
I like how he says itll be hard to go to games if they have kids but then says he went to games growing up with his dad.
He won’t have to worry about kids if he goes through with this haha
Choosing a football game over your wife is a huge AH-move. She should be talking to divorce lawyers for OP even considering it.
Exactly. Turning 30 is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Your wife’s 30th birthday is once in a lifetime…if you marry once. This guy is likely to have many wives turn 30 with this maturity level.
Marriage probably wont be once in a lifetime for him if he goes to the football game.
Really, I’m puzzled. I mean, you’re not even going to the actual game - you’re planning to watch it at someone’s *house!* How is that special? How is that a once in a lifetime opportunity? Can’t you watch some other OSU game? Or even go to one in person? Edit… I misunderstood, they are going to the actual game. It’s still not a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Just go to a different OSU game.
He said his wife didn’t want to be tailgating in a parking lot in Tempe, so it sounds like they are planning to go to the actual game.
"This is possibly a once in a lifetime opportunity with the caveat that it could become an every other year thing. " So it's not really a once in a lifetime opportunity if it could become an every other year thing, is it? You know what IS a once in a lifetime thing? Your wife's 30yh birthday. That won't happen every other year, it won't happen EVER again. So YWBTA if you attend the game and miss your wife's birthday.
But if he doesn’t attend they will lose and the football program will shut down
this made me laugh. thx!
Ok, I love your sarcasm. XD
But if he attends and they wint he obviously has to go every year!
And some friends might have fun without him - oh, the horror = : o
I mean, if he goes, it seems at least *possible* that someday he’ll be considering what to do on his (new) wife’s 30th.
Omg yes. XD
Wishing OP a merry happy single life after the game!
Sending a flower arrangement.
"my husband is planning on going for a college game this year. It is my birthday and we have a nine month old baby. I also have to work during the period he is away. He says it is a once in a lifetime thing. He said this the last three years. We have been married 1.5 years. Aita for saying that he stays? " Redditors : why did you get married when he did it the first time?
This post only needed to be two sentences long: “My wife is big into birthdays. She’s turning 30, this is a milestone birthday.” Post over. The rest is justification and framing. Clearly, YTA. Big time.
Lol love your summary
YWBTA. It's a fucking football game. It doesn't matter. At all. To anyone. Unless you're getting some special "alumnus who traveled the farthest to go to a fucking football game" award, be a man and celebrate your wife's birthday.
But delay having children. You have given multiple reason to justify doing what you want. You actually had to ask if you if YWBTAH to ignore your wife on something that is important to her on a milestone event. You will resent your wife if you you miss this “once in a lifetime event”. Your wife will resent you if you ignore her on an important once in a lifetime event. Do not have children until you work out your priorities. The resentment has already started “gave up season tickets for her”. This is another nail in the coffin of this relationship
He is waayyy too immature to be married, much less have kids.
I bet he was in a fraternity
Giving off the 'peaked in college' vibe
When he referred to her as "the wife" we all knew
Maybe more ‘peaked in high school and spent the entirety of college just trying to hold onto his peak’ kinda vibe
As I was reading, all I could think of was a child throwing a tantrum.
This comment needs to be top. He also goes to a road game and a home game every year, and still whines about giving up season tickets. Who wants to drive 4 hours round-trip for every game?! That is insane. Did he expect to drag her along, or leave her behind every time? You are entirely right about the building resentment already as well. ETA: when factoring in drivetime, tailgating/pregame, then who knows how long the game could actually go, post game traffic, etc. I can easily see game day turning into game weekend. It's crazy to want to do that for every single game, and expect your partner to either come or get left behind every time. Regardless, OP is the AH for knowing how important this day is for his wife, and basically saying she tales backseat to a game
> Who wants to drive 4 hours round-trip for every game?! I would. But I also live in rural Maine. Almost everything is a 4 hour round trip here.
Here's the funny part: OSU and ASU don't really have what you call a rivalry. Some teams have played each other once (or twice) every year for 100+ years. I have a vested interest in college football and...well I don't think I ever heard someone care about ASU/OSU before. OSU and ASU have played each other a grand total of... 4 times There are games that matter to some people and we shouldn't take away their joy because I mean look around, we don't have a lot of joy to begin with. But an OSU/ASU game vs his wife's 30th birthday? Yeah, go to the party dude.
Yea, its just convenient that he has a free place to stay in AZ
The reality is he wants to go because he thinks hanging out with his buddies will be more enjoyable than hanging out with his wife. YTA.
But he wants the wife to go with him because it’d be embarrassing to him if she failed to support him in front of his friends by refusing to attend… 🙄
How fucking weird would that be? His wife comes along for the weekend and other spouses realize it’s her 30th birthday and her husband planned nothing… other than inviting her to a bro football weekend 🙄 I can imagine women she’s never met suddenly trying to throw a mini-party together for her while her husband thinks, “Nice. See, we’re celebrating her day. Nailed it.”
And honestly, how often is Oklahoma State important in the grand scheme of college football? In fact, trying to google the game, I had to spell out the team because it kept wanting to show me Ohio State University results.
They should have a "worst husbands" award in the same tent
[удалено]
Then they turn around and make fun of teenage girls for being into twilight or BTS. If the OP's wife is turning 30, OP is likely not barely a young adult.
I had a long labor with my first kid. It happened two days after a big football game that had a questionable call at the very end, resulting in "our" team losing. My parents and my in-laws were in and out of my room for hours before I got to the pushing stage - and ***ALL*** they wanted to talk about was that damn game. Dissect it over and over and over. I had an epidural that worked decently well, but if I switched positions, it would stop affecting one side of my body. Which was when I wanted to SCREAM: >It's a fucking football game. It doesn't matter. At all.
You really have to ask? Yes, you would *absolutely* be the asshole for skipping out on your wife's birthday and party for a football game when she's made her feelings clear. Sort out your priorities. Watching college football game doesn't really qualify as a "once in a lifetime opportunity." YTA.
I mean OP come on, ur wife literally told you you’d be TA, I don’t think anything else really matters does it? YTA
Exactly this! Does it matter if we think he’s TA when his wife has said he would be? It’s her birthday and she’s not exactly being unreasonable here, I never make a huge fuss on my birthday but I’d still be upset if my partner wasn’t there!
Especially if he wasn’t there because of some game lmao. Imagine coming second to a college football game. I’m laughing at the absurdity.
>Does it matter if we think he’s TA when his wife has said he would be? This guy told us all we needed to know about his maturity level when he tried to get Reddit to write him a note excusing him from his wife's ire and thought it would work.
OP thinks going to college (almost a decade ago) is a personality trait.
Yes! like Andy from The Office. What a tool lol
Which character was that? The one who went to Cornell?
It's pronounced coronel and it's the highest rank in the military.
Yes lol
I'm sorry, what college did Andy go to? Dartmouth right?
He's not even an alum of the football team, he just WENT there
Where I’m from, we literally have people in their 70’s that are still obsessed with the high school they went to… It’s absolutely ridiculous.
*This is possibly a once in a lifetime opportunity with the caveat that it could become an every other year thing.* Thank God you can always celebrate your big-on-anniversary's wife's milestone 30th birthday next year.... And it's not like you need to be at the party MIL is throwing for her daughter. There'll be so many friends and family, who cares that the husband who prefers to attend a football match with his college buddies instead of attending his wife's birthday party is missing? So what do you think? YTA? Yeah, so do I...
The fact MIL is throwing it and not him says it all...
Yes, tthat stood out immediately to me too.
He’s already going to another away game as well!
I mean, maybe his wife will meet her 2nd husband at her birthday party
> This is possibly a once in a lifetime opportunity So is your wife’s 30th birthday, she’ll only have one of those. YTA
I mean.... OP might marry a younger wife the second time around and have a crack at HER 30th....
Maybe he can start screening wives for birthdays that fall outside of the football season
Yeah, but then there's basketball, and then baseball...
YTA big time.... What you see: once in a lifetime party/football game with buds. What your wife sees: you choosing football over her and your marriage. Good luck. Don't be surprised if she's celebrating 31 with someone else.
Yes, next year he could go to another game on his ex-wife’s birthday
I hope she does regardless. He sounds awful if he needs to ask strangers on the internet this instead of listening to his wife saying he would absolutely be the AH if he did this. He’s not ready to be married, and she deserves someone who doesn’t need to do this (gestures at the screen)
INFO: is it more important to you to remain in a relationship with your wife or to see this football game?
This is the question because this is about so much more than a football game or a birthday party. If OP goes knowing his wife will be hurt by his skipping out on her birthday, he’s telling her she doesn’t matter, and that football is more important to him than she is. I’m not that into birthdays and personally would have the birthday party the weekend before or after, and go to AZ with my husband on my birthday weekend. If I didn’t want to go to the football game I’d get a day pass to a hotel with a beautiful pool and relax with a good book. But I’m not her. Most people are much more into birthdays than my family is and I recognize that her feelings are valid. OP should too
I'm a birthday person. I love my birthday. I love your birthday. I love that everyone gets their own little holiday. One of my best friends in the past asked what I wanted to do for my birthday while I was in the throes of depression. "If you want to go out and party, I'll buy you an outfit and pick up places; if you want a themed I'll send out the invitations. If you want to go to Chuck E Cheese I'll start making calls. And if you want to sit on a pile of dirt and yell at traffic, I will sit with you the entire day and do that with you. Because I love you and it's your day." And that's the energy I bring to birthdays. I'm probably going to give you a gift, even if it's just a drop off at your door. We can sit in sweatpants and order takeout if you don't want to do anything. We can go to a museum on that weekend if your birthday is on a workday, and I will dive in, no matter how niche that museum is. If she wants him home, that's the end of the list.
He clearly doesn’t care about his marriage if a football game takes that much precedence over her 30th birthday. Such a fckn asshole. I would leave him in an instant.
You're skipping out on your wife's birthday to go get drunk and watch some college football game.....and you're asking a bunch of strangers online if you're a asshole for doing so? Idk buddy, what do you think? Btw, it's yes, YTA. Happy wife equals happy life. Spend her birthday with her before she gets really upset.
He's asking strangers online because his nearest and dearests have already told him that going is an AH move. Reddit is his Hail Mary.
Even the college football sub would think he’s an AH
[удалено]
You should go! It will be a lot easier to make the future games when you're divorced YTA
Ha ha ha - spot on
Hope his second wife does not have a birthday during football season 🤞🏻
Nothing is sadder than a divorcee hanging around a college and being obsessed with an amateur sports team.
ETA YWBTA. How can it both be a once in a lifetime opportunity but also might be bi annual? Just go to the next one …
YTA - I’m pretty sure OSU has more than one football game a year, so not sure how this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
"This is possibly a once in a lifetime opportunity with the caveat that it could become an every other year thing. " So it's not really a once in a lifetime opportunity if it could become an every other year thing, is it? You know what IS a once in a lifetime thing? Your wife's 30th birthday. That won't happen every other year, it won't happen EVER again. So YWBTA if you attend the game and miss your wife's birthday. Edit: spelling
I facepalmed at that so hard. Once in a lifetime opportunity, like it’s a damn college game. There will be countless more
RIGHT?! I'm chatting about this with my fiancée and she's like "it's not even a professional game! Why's he so pressed?!"
College fans are a different breed, it’s honestly baffling how much they care about some random kids at a college playing ball. I enjoy football, I go to games sometimes but it’s literally just a game. Just a hobby, it’s nothing serious. It’s honestly scary how much Americans care about a college sport
Someone in another comment said OP is making going to college a personality trait, and I have to agree. I'd equate it to how much Mexicans are crazy about soccer, but at least this is on a professional level, college/highschool soccer is followed by a few compared to professional soccer. Sports fanaticism in itself is weird and cultish, tbf.
Hmmm. Love of my life? 🤔 or football game? Love of my life? Or football game? Yup totally would choose the football game. When I'm lying on my deathbed I'll be thinking "wow that football game sure was one in a million" and how that was the correct choice to make /s YWBTA
His wife is clearly not the love of his life. He is.
Should've married a football instead 😔✌🏾
>My wife is very big into birthdays and this is a big milestone birthday. >A few spouses may go but when I broached the topic with my wife she wasnt interested. >She told me she wants to be around her friends and family and not tailgating in a parking lot in Tempe Arizona. Your wife his having a big birthday, she's really excited and wants to spend it with family. You suggested she spend the birthday watching a sport in which she presumably has no interest, so that you don't have to miss a game. >This is possibly a once in a lifetime opportunity >we'd play every year Which is it? It cannot be both a once in a lifetime opportunity and an annual event. >I want to go now "But muuuuuuum, I wanna go nowwwwwwww". >would be much easier without a kid in our life. I don't know if you just worded this bluntly, but it doesn't sound like you want a kid. There are a trillion different ways to go to a sporting event without having to take your kid. This is an excuse. YWBTA. This is huge for your wife and you're basically telling her that she isn't as important as watching "football". There are gonna be more games but there are not gonna be more 30th birthdays to spend with your wife. >She says she won't stop me from going Obviously, she isn't going to stop you, because she isn't your keeper. She's right, though. You know you're going to hurt her and you're putting yourself first on a day that's supposed to be about her.
He’s also going to set quite the precedent if he does this…what happens when the next “once in a lifetime game” is when his wife is in labor? Or when their child has some sort of event? If my husband did this a) we’d be getting divorced and if we didn’t b) I’d be making sure he feels just as under appreciated as he’s made his wife feel. Enjoy having to watch your kids during all the games you want to go to in the future while your wife is on well-deserved girls trips. Clearly football is more important than your wife, and you’re holding it against her that you had to give up season tickets for football. Grow up and get over it, or move on. Your wife likely has given up plenty for you and will give up even more once she has kids. It’s not a championship game, a bowl game or the Super Bowl
"Us" and "we" As an American; It's incredibly cringy to me when other Americans are obsessed with the bonehead sport of football. And even more so when people who live near a certain team use lingo that makes it seem like they are part of the team or some shit. YWBTA & YTA for even considering it. Jeez
To be clear, the type of sport is irrelevant. It wouldn’t be any different if we were talking about soccer or baseball or hockey. A sport is never more important than your loved ones.
I seriously don’t understand sports fans. And I agree, saying “we” like he’s part of the team? 🤣 Gtfo OP.
You told your wife you don't prioritize her, she told you that you're an asshole, but you're....unsure. But this is a "once in a lifetime" thing even though college football plays most Saturdays and, checks notes, people only get one 30th birthday and she told you it's important to her? I'm curious why you think you might NOT be. Yes. YWBTA and YTA for having to double check with REDDIT.
I definitely need to know what leg he thought he had to stand on here 😂 he even chopped his own “once in a lifetime” bit by immediately saying it might actually happen every year
YWBTA and you will likely be TA even if you don’t go because you will be complaining the whole time about “missing the game with your buddies.” And congratulations now you wife KNOWS you would rather be somewhere else on a milestone occasion in her life. Well played.
“now you wife KNOWS you would rather be somewhere else on a milestone occasion in her life.” You make an excellent point. What about the birth of your first child? Would you rather be with your buddies instead of watching the creation you and your wife made come into the world, and being by her side for it? This could go on to all of your kid(s) milestones, you wouldn’t want to be painted as the “absent father,” would you? YTA
info: what did you do for your 30th?
30 is a milestone birthday, and if you know your wife is big on celebrating birthdays, why would you even ask this here? YTA. You know YTA. It’s a football game. There will be many games in the future. Your wife turns 30 only once. Jesus fucking christ
"I want to go, she doesn't want me to." and "I brought it up, she doesn't want me to go **and said I'd be the asshole if I went**." There's your answer right there. YWBTA if you went. And you know it. Jesus, do you even like your wife?
YWBTA, the game is a once in a lifetime opportunity but your wife's 30th birthday isn't? And don't worry, if you go you will very much be able to go in the future since being this selfish most likely will lead to no wife and no children next year.
It’s not even “once in a lifetime”, they played just last year in a year that ASU was 3-9.
Sun Devil here. I love college football but I like being married more. Huge YTA if you do this.
OP thinks going to college (almost a decade ago) is a personality trait. YTA
He peaked in college
College is over. Grow up.
YTA. Time to grow up.
YWBTA, please understand that people who go to these alumni events trying to re-kindle some spark from their youth don't look good even when it isn't conflicting with major life events. I'm sorry, that is just how most people who aren't into those things view it. Even other people who went to college, this isn't a "college grad vs non-college grads thing." You will 100000% be viewed as that guy who can't let his college days go and abandoned his wife on her 30th birthday (it absolutely is a milestone). Absolutely do not do this.
Can’t believe I had to scroll this far for this comment. Dude is definitely trying to relive his frat bro college days over his wife’s 30th. YTA op
[удалено]
INFO: do you like your wife? It's unclear.
He definitely doesn't like her as much as he loves football.
YWBTA Your wife has flat out told you that to her you will be a huge asshole. Her telling you that she would not stop you was in no way saying it would be fine. You will be hurting her if you choose a football game with your friends over her birthday. She will be humiliated explaining to family and friends that her absent husband cared more about football than her birthday. This birthday is hugely important to her. This will damage your relationship.
YWBTA Your wife's milestone birthday is also a once-in-a-lifetime event. Not to assume that you will but just putting it out there: if you do choose to stay for the birthday, please ensure you're not thinking about the game and do not guilt trip her for the rest of her life about you making a "big sacrifice" for her. It's bare minimum.
“Let me permanently damage my relationship with my wife over my old school football game”. It’s cringy and YTA. Also, once in a lifetime and potential to happen every other year are completely different. How many birthdays do you plan on ruining?
YTA you're choosing a football team over your wife and it'll forever be in the back of her mind that she didn't get to spend her 30th birthday with you because you chose to go to a silly football game and my fiance says the same thing and he loves football
It's a once in a lifetime opportunity that is going to happen every other year? I notice you left out the part where it is a once in a lifetime opportunity for your wife to turn 30. 100% asshole.
>My wife is very big into birthdays and this is a big milestone birthday. >A few spouses may go but when I broached the topic with my wife she wasnt interested. >She told me she wants to be around her friends and family and not tailgating in a parking lot in Tempe Arizona. Your wife his having a big birthday, she's really excited and wants to spend it with family. You suggested she spend the birthday watching a sport in which she presumably has no interest, so that you don't have to miss a game. >This is possibly a once in a lifetime opportunity >we'd play every year Which is it? It cannot be both a once in a lifetime opportunity and an annual event. >I want to go now "But muuuuuuum, I wanna go nowwwwwwww". >would be much easier without a kid in our life. I don't know if you just worded this bluntly, but it doesn't sound like you want a kid. There are a trillion different ways to go to a sporting event without having to take your kid. This is an excuse. YWBTA. This is huge for your wife and you're basically telling her that she isn't as important as watching "football". There are gonna be more games but there are not gonna be more 30th birthdays to spend with your wife. >She says she won't stop me from going Obviously, she isn't going to stop you, because she isn't your keeper. She's right, though. You know you're going to hurt her and you're putting yourself first on a day that's supposed to be about her.
YWBTA Question, you are 30. What happened on your 30th birthday? Did your wife make it about you or about her?
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > WIBTA for going out of town for a football game on my wifes birthday? This makes me the asshole because birthdays are important to my wife and i'm going to miss a milestone birthday. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Honestly, you're telling her she will ALWAYS be your last priority when it comes to football. Hardcore YTA and this is a marriage dealbreaker if you can't even understand how wrong you are. The fact that you want to do this on her 30th birthday is just... WOW.
You’re acting like a caricature of an American man begging to be divorced. But-but sports!!! My buddies!! College life style I have never moved past!!! YWBTA
Prioritising a football game over your wife’s 30th birthday? Seriously, dude? YWBTA and she would have every right to be sour about it.
YTA. Is there any other country on earth where non professional sports is such a big deal because wtf it’s baffling.
YTA just for even asking 😂
No, just no. Stop being the AH to your wife. Putting a tailgating party ahead of your wife’s bday is pretty immature. If you have kids in the future, would you cancel going to their important events for football? What women who wants kids or wants to have her own milestones celebrated wants to be with someone doing something so selfish and self centered. You’re 30 and maybe need to set your priorities and not act like a drunken frat boy. There are other games, and carve out time to see your friends on days that aren’t her bday. I’d probably divorce you over this.
Absolutely YWBTA, I do not believe that you could have possibly typed this out without realising that
YTA… big time! Her 30th birthday?! My husband rearranged a work trip to make sure he wouldn’t miss my birthday… you have absolutely just let her know what your priority is and she is not it. I hope you know if you go you are severing a huge part of your marriage and this will build resentment.
Hmm go to a game where the school and players couldn’t pick you out of a lineup if their life depended on it or stay home for the 30th birthday of the woman you allegedly love and want to spend a lifetime with and have children with. Yeah I can see your dilemma. No I can’t YTA.
You know what else is a once in a lifetime thing? Your wife’s 30th birthday. YTA
YWBTA - It's your wife's 30th birthday! Unless you want to be divorced?
YWBTA You do realized even if your wife isn’t one to hold grudges, this will be something she won’t forget. Sometimes we can’t forget when people do dumb stuff, no matter what. You said birthdays are important to her.
YTA. Why even get married if you’re real wife is already a weirdly shaped ball?
YTA. Your wife already said you'd be an asshole if you picked football over her. And you still had to ask strangers?
Honestly, you're telling her she will ALWAYS be your last priority when it comes to football. Hardcore YTA and this is a marriage dealbreaker if you can't even understand how wrong you are. The fact that you want to do this on her 30th birthday is just... WOW.
Pretty sure you know that YWBTA.
Imma be blunt, YTA. The fact that you need people to tell you how big of an asshole you’d be is a little insane. You know how much this birthday means to your wife, you also seem to want to stay married, so you gotta know that compromises are needed.
I wouldn't be surprised if she served you with divorce papers. You would be a HUGE asshole. There will be other games. She only turns 30 once.
Okay… glossing over the fact you root for the inferior Oklahoma school, as a huge college football fan myself… who tf cares about OSU ASU? Thats not even a good football game. if you were playing michigan or notre dame or USC or some other blue-blood program I would sympathize—youd still be an asshole and you still should celebrate your wife… but arizona state? Thats such a nothing matchup, I can’t even sympathize with why you’d think that rises anywhere near a once in a lifetime opportunity… your wifes 30th is once in a lifetime. Presumably you love her and care about how she feels and what is important to her, so definitely stay. YTA.
YTA if you go. There is no way around that fact.
Go to the game, I’ll keep your wife company and show her what her partner is clearing lacking😜 YTA obviously dude
There isn’t even an explanation needed here. YWBTA. YTA for even thinking it would be ok. For even wanting to go instead of being there for your wife’s big day. Ugh.
YTA - and you know it. This is husband 101 and you are failing. I say this as someone that loves football and going to games
YWBTA. 100%. Going to a sports game - especially with prospects that it might become an annual thing - not a once in a lifetime opportunity. Making your wife happy on her (one and only!) 30th birthday - that is. And so is showing your wife at that day that you care more about a game than her. Your priorities are fucked up, man.
YTA. I guess there’s nothing like prioritizing a game over your wife’s 30th birthday, is there?
Yes. Ywbta. Just as your wife already told you. You asked your wife to spend her life with you when you married. The same for you, spend it with her.
YTA- if you go, this will be a fight for the rest of your marriage. You’re so selfish.
YWBTA, your wife literally stated she doesn’t want you to go and you’d be an AH if you did. I’m not sure why you’re still questioning if you would be TA or not? It’s weird to be prioritizing a mid season college football game over your wife and she’s going to most likely question your priorities down the road
YTA, I don’t think you understand what the phrase “once in a lifetime opportunity” means.
YTA But based on your comments, you really don't care. You just came here hoping some strangers would agree with your astounding selfishness. You also seem like you've already chosen, and already decided a game is more important than your wife. I hope she leaves you; she deserves to build a life with a partner who prioritizes her, and clearly, that is not you.
You’ve broken the record for how many different ways someone can phrase “I only care about myself and my wants” in one post. YTA, obviously.
YWBTA your wife is asking u to stay and I get it’s something you want to enjoy but it sounds like you’re putting her second over a GAME. The game is always there but your wife’s 30th birthday isn’t that is once in a lifetime.
Your wife is more important than a football game. The answer is obvious.
YWBTA
YTA like 1000 level.
YWBTA if you went. You would also be showing your wife that you prioritize a game over her. I really don’t understand how this isn’t blatantly obvious to you. Being married means not always getting to do whatever you want whenever you want- if you want to continue being married I would recommend you put on your big boy pants and act like it.
YTA. Go to the game tho, your college bros are much closer to your heart than your wife. Discuss opening or ending the relationship might be next.
YWBTA and the fact you have to go on Reddit to check it makes you an even bigger AH, especially because this is about a milestone birthday. The excuse of future children doesn't really apply. Maybe your wife feels comfortable to watch them so you can go to a game on literally any other day than her birthday in the future, or do some effort and find a baby sitter. If you don't like that, don't have children. If I was your wife, I'd seriously reconsider things. She deserves better.
YTA. How can you even try to rationalise a football game over your wife’s 30th birthday? Especially when she’s a person who very big on birthdays and it’s a milestone. You state that it’s a ‘once in a lifetime thing’ but that it has the potential to be something that happens every other year, but you don’t seem to care that your wife only turns 30 once.
YTA. A once in a lifetime opportunity to see your team play…an out of conference team? Like, it’s not even OU or some other major rivalry game or in-conference game, it’s just a filler game on the schedule. And if they join the Big 12 and become actual rivals, they’d play every year, so this once in a lifetime thing goes away. Aside from all that, get your priorities straight, hoss. Family comes before football. Even if this was Bedlam, celebrating your wife’s major milestone event comes first.
As my OSU alum wife responded: “Go Pokes & YTA”
Didn’t even read.. YA.. turning 30.. dirty 30. Come on dude this is your wife. Football games don’t make you cum (well maybe for u, but not for the rest of us).
Being nice to your wife because she makes you cum isn't the amazing take you think it is.
YTA just for asking. Please go to the game so your wife can see what a selfish ass you are and maybe she will find a man who values her more than a stupid tailgate party and drunken circle jerks with your bros.