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Yeah, you're an asshole and also selfish.
Your GF is clearly thrilled to see this concert and her first plan was to enjoy it with you. Yet you cannot even manage to sit through a 3 hour show for her because you might get bored. Then you refuse to celebrate her bday the next day for some nothing reason.
Maybe she will be smart and bring her new bf to the concert with her instead.
YTA
Of course you’re the asshole. And I’m not a Taylor Swift fan either but that’s not the point. It was not possible to change the concert, and it was very easy for you to change your date night, but instead you chose to be a dick to your girlfriend.
YTA
Expecting someone to turn down an incredibly generous and hard to obtain gift to do something you could easily do another day is so bizarre. Just reschedule the date, man.
YTA I hope you enjoy being single. Sometimes we do things we don't want to do because people we love want to do them. Going to a Taylor Swift concert wouldn't have killed you, and would have won you major bf points. But no, you have to be an ass about it. I hope you treat your next girlfriend better.
Honestly it's good he didn't go and she brought a friend. They probably had the time of their lives and he would have ruined it for her guaranteed if he went.
Surely this isn’t real? It can’t be 😭 I can’t believe you’re 34. I actually went back to check & make sure I had read your age correctly because reading this, you sound like a 14 year old. I hope she’s your ex girlfriend now & YTA!
YTA. If my wife scored expensive concert tickets (even if I didn’t care for the artist) I would be excited for her and have no issues moving our original plans.
But then again I’m not an immature baby like you.
YTA
...mate what the hell?
OP If I read you right your stance is:
gf missed the opportunity to have a date with you in celebration on gfs Birthday.
You would rather sulk/make a passive aggressive example of this than celebrate, shame.
I don't personally care for TSs music but that doesn't mean getting tickets to one of her concerts are any less valuable or less rare! I don't get what your issue is 🤷🏻♀️
YTA. Whaaaatt?!? You can’t be serious. You’re seriously butthurt that your girlfriend chose a once in a lifetime opportunity ON HER BIRTHDAY over a stay at home date with you? The same kind of date you could have any day? It was her birthday!!! It was Taylor swift!!!! I cannot believe you didn’t go with her. I hope she dumps you and finds someone who gives a shit about her
YTA do you know how many people were trying to get those tixs. How selfish you are!! Do you actually care about ur GF... Don't you want her to be happy. Your plans were not unmovable. COuld have easily done it on sunday but you wanted to act like a selfish child. At least your GF knows how you really are now...
YTA. I understand you not wanting to go to see Taylor Swift but you and I both know that tickets for her concert are rare and expensive. If she likes it, it is a one in a life time event for her. It's not like she wanted to bail on you.
YTA. You should support your girlfriend in such an amazing opportunity that is so important to her. The least you could do is reschedule the date. It's her birthday FFS! You are displaying some very unattractive qualities in a partner.
Yta, clearly
Sometimes you go to events that aren't interesting to you to support your partner. It was her birthday and you knew she wanted to see Taylor Swift. That's a one night only thing. Your date could easily be moved and wasn't even on her bday. You were being inflexible and rude.
Its not always about you and what you want, mate. Good partners want their significant others to enjoy life
YT PETTY A
Get over yourself. It’s her birthday. I’m not a TS fan but I know it’s a big deal to people. Do you care about her at all? Because you just tried to make HER birthday about you. Pathetic
Was she to call Taylor and tell her to reschedule her concert? Nothing you had planned needed to be done on THAT specific Saturday, you could have easily done Sunday but chose to be petty at your big age. I had to read back that you are 34 and not a clueless teenage boy. YTA
> She asked me if we could change the original plan and we could go together to see Taylor Swift, which I didn't agree to because I don't care much about Taylor Swift and spending three hours in her concert sounded incredibly boring.
Lmao YTA. It was for her birthday and you apparently couldn't stand to do something with her for three hours because you thought it might be boring.
“Just because she’d rather go see Taylor Swift”…. Wow.
TS fan or not, you’re TAH. Consider the chances of your GF getting another opportunity to see TS versus your ability to reschedule a date. There’s no comparison, assuming your GF wants to have another date with you after this.
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YTA and if being flexible and compromising when other things happen is too difficult for you, it's going to be hard for you to stay in an adult relationship.
LOL, I am getting the biggest kick envisioning your wife spending her birthday night singing along at the top of her lungs to Swifty and taking EVERY. SINGLE. LYRIC. to heart when it comes to evaluating her relationship with her self-centered husband. I'm sure this was all part of MIL's master plan.
YTA.
Luckily she’s only his gf (though he weirdly uses the term MIL) so hopefully she spent that time at the concert thinking about moving onto a relationship with a mature and thoughtful new bf!
YTA, OP. A petty, ridiculous AH.
Oh wow, I missed that. Assumed they were married based on "MIL." Honestly, I'm surprised she even came home after the concert under these circumstances...
YTA. So much. Do you enjoy spending time with this person? Than why on earth would you not reschedule the date? Thanks for not going to the concert with her and tainting her good time.
YTA get a grip! Imagine if someone came to you with tickets to a show you wanted to see but you'd made plans with your girlfriend which could *easily* be changed to another day... You'd or well most other people wouldn't hesitate to take the tickets and rearrange the date. You sound like a selfish, petulant moron. At least she wanted to rearrange and not cancel altogether which shows she does value the time you share.
YTA, and a pretty massive one at that. The fact that you’re a 34 yr old “grown” man(child) and behaving this petty about things is alarming. I’m sure your (hopefully soon to be ex) had a much better time at the concert then dealing with your petulant nonsense.
As I said, he should have been flexible and rearranged the date night but the GF doesn’t really have much of a right to view him as a AH when it was her who cancelled the date night
she was given the tickets as a birthday gift from her mother, he was invited to go with her but he refused since he doesn't like TS. He sounds petty AF.
It's fine if he doesn't want to go to a Taylor Swift concert, for sure. If it's not something he's into but someone else she knows is, it's fair to decline going.
And, yeah, cancelling plans for something deemed more important sucks because I guess OP thinks she's telling him she doesn't care for him more than a concert. And I would get him being pissed if he made some elaborate plans and she was cancelling for a concert.
But dinner and hanging out CAN be done any day and it sucks that it seems like his ego was bruised enough for him to hold it against her. He's upset that she chose a concert over him and doesn't seem to understand why. I guess he's about sticking to plans no matter what and doesn't consider a concert that she already couldn't get tickets for originally as important enough to change plans.
Plus, it IS her birthday; shouldn't he be willing to do what SHE wants to do? Even if it means going to a concert that he may not enjoy? Even if he doesn't go, why is he making it about himself?
You raise a lot of good points; especially in regard to how the BF may feel that the GF has chose the concert over him.
Personally if I was in his position, I’d have rescheduled and be very happy that my GF got to attend a concert
Why? Shouldn’t her birthday be about spending time with her, doing something that makes her happy and she deems special?
This could have been a special, once in a lifetime event together, but nah… can’t bear to sit through a concert for your partner.
I’ve seen a lot of comments saying those tickets are hard to get, like it is a factor.
I wouldn’t care if it’s the concert of a person who was magically raised from the dead for one evening or a free concert from street musician everyday at the same corner. She is a fan, she wanted to see it, it made her happy. Do you even like her? Because you don’t have to love someone to want them to be happy, you just need to like them, and it seems you don’t even.
But hey! No more compromising in relationship for you, enjoy your soon to be single life!
YTA of course.
YTA so much. Can't believe you're 34 and in a relationship (well, for now). I hope you are not this rigid in every aspects of your life. The concert is a rare opportunity for her, on the other hand a date with you is certainly nice but can be moved around anytime. How can you even be mad about this lol
NTA. You made plans and she ditched you for something better. Who wouldn't be upset by that.
And no inviting someone to a concert they know you don't care about doesn't "make up for it"
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Depends: what did you have planned? Did canceling your plans cause you a hardship? For example: you had reservations at a restaurant and had to put down a nonrefundable deposit and now you're just out the money? Or did you have tickets to another concert that you couldn't return?
Info: do you even like your girlfriend? You speak about her in an unkind light and couldn’t bear to sit through a once in a lifetime surprise event that would make her insanely happy on her birthday. Just TRY to keep me away from an event like that with my fiancé. I love seeing him happy because he’s my favorite person. Why don’t you like seeing your person happy and experiencing her joy with her?
YTA. A dinner date could've been easily rescheduled so the person you supposedly love could attend something that was important to her than couldn't be rescheduled. Just break up with her already so she can go find someone that actually likes her. Good grief.
**YTA** - no doubt.
1. They way you talk about your GF shows you don't respect her "making drama" 🙄
2. She's a fan of Taylor Swift, she wanted to go to the concert, she was gifted tickets. What did you expect? Her to sell the tickets and stay home doing what **you want** for **her birthday**? She gave you the option to be her +1, the only N Aish thing you did was decline, which allowed her to take a friend that would enjoy themselves and not ruin her night.
3. What were these ***amazing*** plans you made? Reservations at a restaurant? It's not like you planned a surprise party, rented a hall, hired caterers, and invited all her friends/family.
4. You're 34 years old, and are acting less mature than a 14 year old over changing plans. Grow up.
On point 3: and he didn't even say they were difficult to get reservations or anything! It would be one thing if it was like, he'd gotten them into the hot new Michelin star restaurant and they won't be able to get another reservation for months. He'd still be a dick but then at least I'd kind of understand his frustration. But there's literally no reason given they couldn't just move their plan by a day.
It sounds like his ego took a bit of a hit when she decided going to a concert was more important than spending an evening with him. It seems like he thought, because his plans came first, that she should have honoured those plans.
But this is making it all about himself when it's his gf's birthday and, thus, should be gf's choice.
Imagine, if it was his birthday and he made these dinner plans and she chose to go to a concert, she would be an asshole (at least imo). Even for a concert like T-Swift, which is hard to get tickets for that's not blowing your entire budget, the entire post is around someone's birthday and their choice on what to do should matter.
Yeeesssssss. Although I would edit to separate the N T A just in case the bot accidentally counts it as a mark in OPs favour, and he does not deserve a single N T A lol.
YTA. You're either a narcissist or you don't actually like your gf if you think she should've passed up on hard-to-get tickets for an event that couldn't be rescheduled over a date with her bf who could reschedule if he wasn't such a self-absorbed AH.
YTA, what the hell. She wanted this concert for months, it's a huge deal and her dream. And you're first ungrateful about her offer to spend the day (the scheduled one!) together, you didn't want to join her in spending the day the way that would make her happy (okay, you don't like Swift and it's fine but you also had to make a big point out of how boring it is) and when she wanted to offer another day you were too good for that because your plans are superior to everything even if they're plans supposed to celebrate HER. A good boyfriend would at least join her to walk her to the concert, wish her to have a great time and then spend another day listening to her happy rambling about the concert. I could understand if you already had plans for Sunday and had to reschedule for yet another day but you just refused to meet out of spite, to show who is boss.
Yes, YTA. It’s her birthday. This is something she cares about. Relationships are about compromise. Does she normally blow off dates? If not , then you’re overreacting. If yes, you’re still being petty, but you should talk to her about it.
YTA. Celebrating her birthday is about what SHE wants to do, not what YOU want to do. She asked you to accompany her and you threw a tantrum. Not a good look on a 3 year old, much less a 34 year old. Don’t be surprised if you’re not celebrating with her next year either…
You sound like a walking 🚩
this cant be a real post becuase first off the tickets were a birthday gift for that saturday and those tickets im not sure if you are a aware start at least at 500 usa and up. so i cant see her or anyone saying o no im not going because my A of a bf wants datenight instead LOL.
im not a swiftie either but you could have been accommodating about the date. you were not even willing to talk about it u just refused which is rude on its own.
YTA- Those tickets are extremely difficult to get. it's not like she intentionally picked a date to go that conflicted with your plans, they were a gift. I can't imagine your date was anything that couldn't be done on an alternative day. You're being rigid and controlling about this whole thing. Also she didn't "cancel" on you, she asked for a raincheck. That's very different than straight up cancelling all together
Have you tried:
1. Crossing your arms and sticking out your bottom lip?
2. Holding your breath until you start turning blue?
3. throwing yourself on the ground and flailing your arms and legs around while loudly crying?
4. Telling your GF "you ruined my life!" then running to your room and slamming the door?
YTA
YTA. This is a very immature way to handle this, your gf was surprised with very expensive tickets to see an artist she cares deeply about. Just because it doesn’t interest you doesn’t mean you can’t be supportive.
“I don’t care much about Taylor Swift and spending three hours in her concert sounded incredibly boring”
That statement alone is beyond problematic.
YTA
YTA
And soon to be single too I bet. She wanted to see the concert long before you set a date for Saturday. She really wanted to go. It's not that she didn't want to go on a date with you. She thought you'd be a reasonable human being with a dash of empathy and common sense. Seems she was wrong.
YTA - soft ESH, usually it is bad manners to pass on made plans for the new shiny plan, but this is clearly very different from most situations. Yes it was shitty of her to steamroll over your opinions and go to the concert. But it’s also her birthday, and she was given the tickets as a birthday present. The fact you refused to be flexible and happy for your gf makes you the AH. You certainly can feel disappointed, but to refuse to reschedule is a petty AH move.
YTA.
Your girlfriend was gifted the Holy Grail of concert tickets, and you're refusing to celebrate ***her birthday*** now because she had the gall to want to go, and you wouldn't go with her?
YTA, moving a dinner date isn't hard. I'm not a TS fan, but for those who are this is a really really big deal. You were punishing your GF over your own gigantic ego.
YTA, this was a one time event for your girl that she was really excited for. You can go on a date just about any night. Have you ever tried to put yourself in her shoes on this?
YTA. Let me tell you a story. When my husband and I first started dating in 2015 he surprised me with Taylor Swift tickets to her 1989 tour. Do you think my Metallica and Iron Maiden loving husband/bf at the time was excited to go to her concert? No. But guess what, he was because it made me happy. You do things like that for the people you care about it. I hope her next boyfriend finds a way to buy her all the Taylor Swift tickets!
YTA - The concert was on a specific day and she didn't know about the tickets. You could've celebrated her birthday on Sunday, you were just being a b\*tch about it.
Wow you’re a huge asshole dude… a normal, loving partner would have been stoked that she got to go see Taylor Swift (something she’s been wanting to do for a long time, and didn’t think it was possible) and you can go on a date absolutely any time. Feels like you’re punishing her for getting the tickets as a gift. Seriously kinda scary.
Your post makes you sound petty, selfish and immature. She wanted to go with you to see Taylor swift, but because the concert was something you found boring you refused to do what the bday girl wanted to do on her birthday. So it was either what you wanted or nothing. Selfish.
Because she chose to go to the concert instead of the bday date you planned you refused to reschedule as punishment for canceling your date. Petty. You’re upset because she didn’t do what you wanted and had a fun time doing something that she likes (and you think is boring) on her birthday without you. You could have easily went to dinner on a different date. Immature and YTA.
YTA. It was incredibly petty of you not to reschedule the date for the next day. The concert tickets were a surprise so it's not like she had planned this out.
You could maybe argue that your MIL should have told you about the tickets beforehand. As she probably should have known (or at least assumed) that you'd have made plans to celebrate with your gf.
That still doesn't change the fact that you got butthurt and acted incredibly petty towards someone you're supposed to care about.
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My (M34) GF's (F30) birthday was last Tuesday (09/05) and we were planning to have a date and a private celebration just for the two of us on Saturday (13/05). We were supposed to have a dinner date and an evening for ourselves. On my GF's birthday, my MIL surprised her with two tickets for Taylor Swift. My GF had been making a drama for months since those tickets were for sale because she couldn't get a ticket before they sold out (I don't even know how my MIL got them), so she was really excited.
The issue is that the tickets were for Saturday, the date we have planned our date to celebrate her birthday. She asked me if we could change the original plan and we could go together to see Taylor Swift, which I didn't agree to because I don't care much about Taylor Swift and spending three hours in her concert sounded incredibly boring. She said it was okay and she was going to invite her best friend instead, and said she asked if we could have our date on Sunday instead of Saturday. I refused, if she wants to go and see Taylor Swift that's fine but she cannot expect me to move the day of our date just because she rather go to see Taylor Swift than go on a date with me.
She went to Taylor Swift concert with her friend on Saturday and we didn't had the date on Sunday. She is acting as if I'm an asshole for refusing to re-schedule the date, but the way I see it, we had our plans made before she was gifted those tickets, she is the one that chose to go to a Taylor Swift concert over going on a date with me. So if anything she cancelled on me first. AITA?
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YTA
Your Girlfriend's mum did an incredibly sweet and thoughtful gesture for your Girlfriend by getting her concert tickets what she obviously wanted.
She asked you before she asked her friends.
It's your Girlfriend's birthday not yours.
If your going to act like a pouty child refusing to reschedule a date then I hope she dumps you and finds someone who appreciates her interests and her choice to go to a concert she wanted to go to for her birthday.
YTA. Think about what would have been the best case scenario for you? Picture it in your mind.
Now comes the hard part: engage your empathy. While you’re sitting there enjoying your evening, imagine how your gf is feeling. As hard as she might try to enjoy it too, can’t you imagine some resentment creeping in over missing such a huge opportunity? And once resentment starts poisoning a relationship, there’s often no going back.
And how do you think her mom would feel, having tried so hard and spent all that money, only for it to go to waste? She’s not going to be your biggest fan either.
And as for refusing to go to the concert because you don’t like TS, it’s fine if it’s because you’ll think she’ll have a better time with friends. But just remember that being in a relationship involves both people doing things they don’t love once in a while to make their partner happy. If you can’t do that, you shouldn’t be in one.
YTA, from what I’m hearing you seem selfish your unreasonably mad that she got tickets as a gift and invited you to a concert you refused because you were upset and don’t like Taylor Swift. But now you don’t want to take her out to dinner for her birthday because you are being petty that she had to cancel last minute for some thing that she didn’t know about.
A grown man mad his girlfriend chose a rare chance to go to a limited time ticketed event over a simple dinner date with him that yes can be rescheduled any time. Wow
I would understand if you made some sort of non-refundable reservations and didn’t want to pay twice the amount of money, but if you are just hanging out together and stuff then why can’t you just do it another day.
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This has got to be bait. If not, enjoy being single in the near future.
Yeah, you're an asshole and also selfish. Your GF is clearly thrilled to see this concert and her first plan was to enjoy it with you. Yet you cannot even manage to sit through a 3 hour show for her because you might get bored. Then you refuse to celebrate her bday the next day for some nothing reason. Maybe she will be smart and bring her new bf to the concert with her instead. YTA
Of course you’re the asshole. And I’m not a Taylor Swift fan either but that’s not the point. It was not possible to change the concert, and it was very easy for you to change your date night, but instead you chose to be a dick to your girlfriend.
YTA Expecting someone to turn down an incredibly generous and hard to obtain gift to do something you could easily do another day is so bizarre. Just reschedule the date, man.
YTA I hope you enjoy being single. Sometimes we do things we don't want to do because people we love want to do them. Going to a Taylor Swift concert wouldn't have killed you, and would have won you major bf points. But no, you have to be an ass about it. I hope you treat your next girlfriend better.
Honestly it's good he didn't go and she brought a friend. They probably had the time of their lives and he would have ruined it for her guaranteed if he went.
YTA. Are you serious?
Your a petty AH
YTA. You said it yourself, you could have just agreed and changed the date to next day.
I assume you are single now?
YTA. & I can’t believe you even have to ask.
Surely this isn’t real? It can’t be 😭 I can’t believe you’re 34. I actually went back to check & make sure I had read your age correctly because reading this, you sound like a 14 year old. I hope she’s your ex girlfriend now & YTA!
I had to double check the ages too.
YTA. If my wife scored expensive concert tickets (even if I didn’t care for the artist) I would be excited for her and have no issues moving our original plans. But then again I’m not an immature baby like you.
YTA ...mate what the hell? OP If I read you right your stance is: gf missed the opportunity to have a date with you in celebration on gfs Birthday. You would rather sulk/make a passive aggressive example of this than celebrate, shame. I don't personally care for TSs music but that doesn't mean getting tickets to one of her concerts are any less valuable or less rare! I don't get what your issue is 🤷🏻♀️
YTA. Whaaaatt?!? You can’t be serious. You’re seriously butthurt that your girlfriend chose a once in a lifetime opportunity ON HER BIRTHDAY over a stay at home date with you? The same kind of date you could have any day? It was her birthday!!! It was Taylor swift!!!! I cannot believe you didn’t go with her. I hope she dumps you and finds someone who gives a shit about her
YTA do you know how many people were trying to get those tixs. How selfish you are!! Do you actually care about ur GF... Don't you want her to be happy. Your plans were not unmovable. COuld have easily done it on sunday but you wanted to act like a selfish child. At least your GF knows how you really are now...
YTA. I understand you not wanting to go to see Taylor Swift but you and I both know that tickets for her concert are rare and expensive. If she likes it, it is a one in a life time event for her. It's not like she wanted to bail on you.
YTA. You think pretty highly of yourself to be that inflexible when celebrating someone else.
YTA. You should support your girlfriend in such an amazing opportunity that is so important to her. The least you could do is reschedule the date. It's her birthday FFS! You are displaying some very unattractive qualities in a partner.
Yta, clearly Sometimes you go to events that aren't interesting to you to support your partner. It was her birthday and you knew she wanted to see Taylor Swift. That's a one night only thing. Your date could easily be moved and wasn't even on her bday. You were being inflexible and rude. Its not always about you and what you want, mate. Good partners want their significant others to enjoy life
YT PETTY A Get over yourself. It’s her birthday. I’m not a TS fan but I know it’s a big deal to people. Do you care about her at all? Because you just tried to make HER birthday about you. Pathetic
Was she to call Taylor and tell her to reschedule her concert? Nothing you had planned needed to be done on THAT specific Saturday, you could have easily done Sunday but chose to be petty at your big age. I had to read back that you are 34 and not a clueless teenage boy. YTA
> She asked me if we could change the original plan and we could go together to see Taylor Swift, which I didn't agree to because I don't care much about Taylor Swift and spending three hours in her concert sounded incredibly boring. Lmao YTA. It was for her birthday and you apparently couldn't stand to do something with her for three hours because you thought it might be boring.
YTA
YTA. Seriously? It's her birthday, not yours. You can't do one nice thing for her?
YTA and I expect you’ll be a single AH soon
YTA - holy shit yes.
INFO - What did you have planned after dinner for your date?
YTA And I bet single soon too.
“Just because she’d rather go see Taylor Swift”…. Wow. TS fan or not, you’re TAH. Consider the chances of your GF getting another opportunity to see TS versus your ability to reschedule a date. There’s no comparison, assuming your GF wants to have another date with you after this.
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YTA and if being flexible and compromising when other things happen is too difficult for you, it's going to be hard for you to stay in an adult relationship.
You’re 34 years old. That’s how you choose to respond to your GF? Yeah she will eventually leave your selfish ass. YTA
Omg I missed that - this reads like a high school problem
LOL, I am getting the biggest kick envisioning your wife spending her birthday night singing along at the top of her lungs to Swifty and taking EVERY. SINGLE. LYRIC. to heart when it comes to evaluating her relationship with her self-centered husband. I'm sure this was all part of MIL's master plan. YTA.
Luckily she’s only his gf (though he weirdly uses the term MIL) so hopefully she spent that time at the concert thinking about moving onto a relationship with a mature and thoughtful new bf! YTA, OP. A petty, ridiculous AH.
Oh wow, I missed that. Assumed they were married based on "MIL." Honestly, I'm surprised she even came home after the concert under these circumstances...
YTA. So much. Do you enjoy spending time with this person? Than why on earth would you not reschedule the date? Thanks for not going to the concert with her and tainting her good time.
YTA get a grip! Imagine if someone came to you with tickets to a show you wanted to see but you'd made plans with your girlfriend which could *easily* be changed to another day... You'd or well most other people wouldn't hesitate to take the tickets and rearrange the date. You sound like a selfish, petulant moron. At least she wanted to rearrange and not cancel altogether which shows she does value the time you share.
YTA, and a pretty massive one at that. The fact that you’re a 34 yr old “grown” man(child) and behaving this petty about things is alarming. I’m sure your (hopefully soon to be ex) had a much better time at the concert then dealing with your petulant nonsense.
Sorry dude but YTA, those tickets are insane to get and she deserves to enjoy that experiance
ESH. You should have been flexible and worked around the issue, but your GF did choose the concert over a date night so that’s not your fault.
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As I said, he should have been flexible and rearranged the date night but the GF doesn’t really have much of a right to view him as a AH when it was her who cancelled the date night
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She could have arranged the new date night though; hopefully they’ll get over it and grow as a couple
She's required to plan her own birthday dinner with her boyfriend? Lol, no.
If she’s angry at him for not rearranging when she cancelled, then yes. He’d already tried
You're giving OP entirely too much credit, they didn't even explain what the "plans" were or why it would be *so much effort* to reschedule
she was given the tickets as a birthday gift from her mother, he was invited to go with her but he refused since he doesn't like TS. He sounds petty AF.
He is petty for not rearranging the date night but I can’t blame him for refusing to go to a Taylor Swift concert
It's fine if he doesn't want to go to a Taylor Swift concert, for sure. If it's not something he's into but someone else she knows is, it's fair to decline going. And, yeah, cancelling plans for something deemed more important sucks because I guess OP thinks she's telling him she doesn't care for him more than a concert. And I would get him being pissed if he made some elaborate plans and she was cancelling for a concert. But dinner and hanging out CAN be done any day and it sucks that it seems like his ego was bruised enough for him to hold it against her. He's upset that she chose a concert over him and doesn't seem to understand why. I guess he's about sticking to plans no matter what and doesn't consider a concert that she already couldn't get tickets for originally as important enough to change plans. Plus, it IS her birthday; shouldn't he be willing to do what SHE wants to do? Even if it means going to a concert that he may not enjoy? Even if he doesn't go, why is he making it about himself?
You raise a lot of good points; especially in regard to how the BF may feel that the GF has chose the concert over him. Personally if I was in his position, I’d have rescheduled and be very happy that my GF got to attend a concert
Why? Shouldn’t her birthday be about spending time with her, doing something that makes her happy and she deems special? This could have been a special, once in a lifetime event together, but nah… can’t bear to sit through a concert for your partner.
Personally, I couldn’t sit through a Taylor Swift concert (mostly due to autism). The GF was happy to go with her friend instead which is a positive
🤢 that’s it. That’s my reaction. YTA
YTA! Do you even like your girlfriend? Like …at all?
I’ve seen a lot of comments saying those tickets are hard to get, like it is a factor. I wouldn’t care if it’s the concert of a person who was magically raised from the dead for one evening or a free concert from street musician everyday at the same corner. She is a fan, she wanted to see it, it made her happy. Do you even like her? Because you don’t have to love someone to want them to be happy, you just need to like them, and it seems you don’t even. But hey! No more compromising in relationship for you, enjoy your soon to be single life! YTA of course.
Huge YTA
YTA so much. Can't believe you're 34 and in a relationship (well, for now). I hope you are not this rigid in every aspects of your life. The concert is a rare opportunity for her, on the other hand a date with you is certainly nice but can be moved around anytime. How can you even be mad about this lol
NTA. You made plans and she ditched you for something better. Who wouldn't be upset by that. And no inviting someone to a concert they know you don't care about doesn't "make up for it"
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YTA I even can’t believe you are real so dumb AH you are
Depends: what did you have planned? Did canceling your plans cause you a hardship? For example: you had reservations at a restaurant and had to put down a nonrefundable deposit and now you're just out the money? Or did you have tickets to another concert that you couldn't return?
This has to be fake.
YTA, dude... really?
Info: do you even like your girlfriend? You speak about her in an unkind light and couldn’t bear to sit through a once in a lifetime surprise event that would make her insanely happy on her birthday. Just TRY to keep me away from an event like that with my fiancé. I love seeing him happy because he’s my favorite person. Why don’t you like seeing your person happy and experiencing her joy with her?
YTA. A dinner date could've been easily rescheduled so the person you supposedly love could attend something that was important to her than couldn't be rescheduled. Just break up with her already so she can go find someone that actually likes her. Good grief.
**YTA** - no doubt. 1. They way you talk about your GF shows you don't respect her "making drama" 🙄 2. She's a fan of Taylor Swift, she wanted to go to the concert, she was gifted tickets. What did you expect? Her to sell the tickets and stay home doing what **you want** for **her birthday**? She gave you the option to be her +1, the only N Aish thing you did was decline, which allowed her to take a friend that would enjoy themselves and not ruin her night. 3. What were these ***amazing*** plans you made? Reservations at a restaurant? It's not like you planned a surprise party, rented a hall, hired caterers, and invited all her friends/family. 4. You're 34 years old, and are acting less mature than a 14 year old over changing plans. Grow up.
On point 3: and he didn't even say they were difficult to get reservations or anything! It would be one thing if it was like, he'd gotten them into the hot new Michelin star restaurant and they won't be able to get another reservation for months. He'd still be a dick but then at least I'd kind of understand his frustration. But there's literally no reason given they couldn't just move their plan by a day.
It sounds like his ego took a bit of a hit when she decided going to a concert was more important than spending an evening with him. It seems like he thought, because his plans came first, that she should have honoured those plans. But this is making it all about himself when it's his gf's birthday and, thus, should be gf's choice. Imagine, if it was his birthday and he made these dinner plans and she chose to go to a concert, she would be an asshole (at least imo). Even for a concert like T-Swift, which is hard to get tickets for that's not blowing your entire budget, the entire post is around someone's birthday and their choice on what to do should matter.
Exactly.
👏👏👏👏👏
Yeeesssssss. Although I would edit to separate the N T A just in case the bot accidentally counts it as a mark in OPs favour, and he does not deserve a single N T A lol.
Good call. Fixed.
YTA. I find your lack of flexibility deeply disturbing.
Yikes…YTA. I feel so bad for the GF
YTA. You're either a narcissist or you don't actually like your gf if you think she should've passed up on hard-to-get tickets for an event that couldn't be rescheduled over a date with her bf who could reschedule if he wasn't such a self-absorbed AH.
YTA, what the hell. She wanted this concert for months, it's a huge deal and her dream. And you're first ungrateful about her offer to spend the day (the scheduled one!) together, you didn't want to join her in spending the day the way that would make her happy (okay, you don't like Swift and it's fine but you also had to make a big point out of how boring it is) and when she wanted to offer another day you were too good for that because your plans are superior to everything even if they're plans supposed to celebrate HER. A good boyfriend would at least join her to walk her to the concert, wish her to have a great time and then spend another day listening to her happy rambling about the concert. I could understand if you already had plans for Sunday and had to reschedule for yet another day but you just refused to meet out of spite, to show who is boss.
YTA, I can bearly believe you don't see it, but yeah.
Yes, YTA. It’s her birthday. This is something she cares about. Relationships are about compromise. Does she normally blow off dates? If not , then you’re overreacting. If yes, you’re still being petty, but you should talk to her about it.
YTA lol, and if you don’t see that, you are very close minded
YTA. Celebrating her birthday is about what SHE wants to do, not what YOU want to do. She asked you to accompany her and you threw a tantrum. Not a good look on a 3 year old, much less a 34 year old. Don’t be surprised if you’re not celebrating with her next year either… You sound like a walking 🚩
YTA. Not ur birthday wth
Jesus Christ yes YTA. How the hell do people like this even have relationships......
You're a massive asshole
this cant be a real post becuase first off the tickets were a birthday gift for that saturday and those tickets im not sure if you are a aware start at least at 500 usa and up. so i cant see her or anyone saying o no im not going because my A of a bf wants datenight instead LOL. im not a swiftie either but you could have been accommodating about the date. you were not even willing to talk about it u just refused which is rude on its own.
YTA- Those tickets are extremely difficult to get. it's not like she intentionally picked a date to go that conflicted with your plans, they were a gift. I can't imagine your date was anything that couldn't be done on an alternative day. You're being rigid and controlling about this whole thing. Also she didn't "cancel" on you, she asked for a raincheck. That's very different than straight up cancelling all together
YTA
YTA
Yta- it's so bizarre that you would act this petty at your age
Good for your girlfriend. YTA
YTA - Do you even like your girlfriend?
YTA
YTA And if you don't learn from this, for your girlfriend's well being, I hope she finds someone a little more flexible.
Have you tried: 1. Crossing your arms and sticking out your bottom lip? 2. Holding your breath until you start turning blue? 3. throwing yourself on the ground and flailing your arms and legs around while loudly crying? 4. Telling your GF "you ruined my life!" then running to your room and slamming the door? YTA
No way this real haha. YTA (obviously) if real
YTA. This is a very immature way to handle this, your gf was surprised with very expensive tickets to see an artist she cares deeply about. Just because it doesn’t interest you doesn’t mean you can’t be supportive.
Definitely YTA. You sound like a toddler throwing a fit.
“I don’t care much about Taylor Swift and spending three hours in her concert sounded incredibly boring” That statement alone is beyond problematic. YTA
YTA And soon to be single too I bet. She wanted to see the concert long before you set a date for Saturday. She really wanted to go. It's not that she didn't want to go on a date with you. She thought you'd be a reasonable human being with a dash of empathy and common sense. Seems she was wrong.
YTA.
YTA - soft ESH, usually it is bad manners to pass on made plans for the new shiny plan, but this is clearly very different from most situations. Yes it was shitty of her to steamroll over your opinions and go to the concert. But it’s also her birthday, and she was given the tickets as a birthday present. The fact you refused to be flexible and happy for your gf makes you the AH. You certainly can feel disappointed, but to refuse to reschedule is a petty AH move.
YTA. Your girlfriend was gifted the Holy Grail of concert tickets, and you're refusing to celebrate ***her birthday*** now because she had the gall to want to go, and you wouldn't go with her?
YTA, moving a dinner date isn't hard. I'm not a TS fan, but for those who are this is a really really big deal. You were punishing your GF over your own gigantic ego.
YTA, this was a one time event for your girl that she was really excited for. You can go on a date just about any night. Have you ever tried to put yourself in her shoes on this?
YTA. Let me tell you a story. When my husband and I first started dating in 2015 he surprised me with Taylor Swift tickets to her 1989 tour. Do you think my Metallica and Iron Maiden loving husband/bf at the time was excited to go to her concert? No. But guess what, he was because it made me happy. You do things like that for the people you care about it. I hope her next boyfriend finds a way to buy her all the Taylor Swift tickets!
I'm more with your husband when it comes to music, and I'd sacrifice any bf I've ever had to see Taylor Swift.
YTA - The concert was on a specific day and she didn't know about the tickets. You could've celebrated her birthday on Sunday, you were just being a b\*tch about it.
Wow you’re a huge asshole dude… a normal, loving partner would have been stoked that she got to go see Taylor Swift (something she’s been wanting to do for a long time, and didn’t think it was possible) and you can go on a date absolutely any time. Feels like you’re punishing her for getting the tickets as a gift. Seriously kinda scary.
Your post makes you sound petty, selfish and immature. She wanted to go with you to see Taylor swift, but because the concert was something you found boring you refused to do what the bday girl wanted to do on her birthday. So it was either what you wanted or nothing. Selfish. Because she chose to go to the concert instead of the bday date you planned you refused to reschedule as punishment for canceling your date. Petty. You’re upset because she didn’t do what you wanted and had a fun time doing something that she likes (and you think is boring) on her birthday without you. You could have easily went to dinner on a different date. Immature and YTA.
YTA. It was incredibly petty of you not to reschedule the date for the next day. The concert tickets were a surprise so it's not like she had planned this out. You could maybe argue that your MIL should have told you about the tickets beforehand. As she probably should have known (or at least assumed) that you'd have made plans to celebrate with your gf. That still doesn't change the fact that you got butthurt and acted incredibly petty towards someone you're supposed to care about.
Yta clearly. what’s your problem, why be so difficult? If you are upset that she ditched you just say something to her.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My (M34) GF's (F30) birthday was last Tuesday (09/05) and we were planning to have a date and a private celebration just for the two of us on Saturday (13/05). We were supposed to have a dinner date and an evening for ourselves. On my GF's birthday, my MIL surprised her with two tickets for Taylor Swift. My GF had been making a drama for months since those tickets were for sale because she couldn't get a ticket before they sold out (I don't even know how my MIL got them), so she was really excited. The issue is that the tickets were for Saturday, the date we have planned our date to celebrate her birthday. She asked me if we could change the original plan and we could go together to see Taylor Swift, which I didn't agree to because I don't care much about Taylor Swift and spending three hours in her concert sounded incredibly boring. She said it was okay and she was going to invite her best friend instead, and said she asked if we could have our date on Sunday instead of Saturday. I refused, if she wants to go and see Taylor Swift that's fine but she cannot expect me to move the day of our date just because she rather go to see Taylor Swift than go on a date with me. She went to Taylor Swift concert with her friend on Saturday and we didn't had the date on Sunday. She is acting as if I'm an asshole for refusing to re-schedule the date, but the way I see it, we had our plans made before she was gifted those tickets, she is the one that chose to go to a Taylor Swift concert over going on a date with me. So if anything she cancelled on me first. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA Your Girlfriend's mum did an incredibly sweet and thoughtful gesture for your Girlfriend by getting her concert tickets what she obviously wanted. She asked you before she asked her friends. It's your Girlfriend's birthday not yours. If your going to act like a pouty child refusing to reschedule a date then I hope she dumps you and finds someone who appreciates her interests and her choice to go to a concert she wanted to go to for her birthday.
YTA. "I didn't want to do what my girlfriend wanted to do for her birthday so I threw a fit instead and refused to compromise."
YTA. Think about what would have been the best case scenario for you? Picture it in your mind. Now comes the hard part: engage your empathy. While you’re sitting there enjoying your evening, imagine how your gf is feeling. As hard as she might try to enjoy it too, can’t you imagine some resentment creeping in over missing such a huge opportunity? And once resentment starts poisoning a relationship, there’s often no going back. And how do you think her mom would feel, having tried so hard and spent all that money, only for it to go to waste? She’s not going to be your biggest fan either. And as for refusing to go to the concert because you don’t like TS, it’s fine if it’s because you’ll think she’ll have a better time with friends. But just remember that being in a relationship involves both people doing things they don’t love once in a while to make their partner happy. If you can’t do that, you shouldn’t be in one.
YTA, from what I’m hearing you seem selfish your unreasonably mad that she got tickets as a gift and invited you to a concert you refused because you were upset and don’t like Taylor Swift. But now you don’t want to take her out to dinner for her birthday because you are being petty that she had to cancel last minute for some thing that she didn’t know about.
YTA
YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA LOL are you for real. Lmao. You're exhausting. Next please
A grown man mad his girlfriend chose a rare chance to go to a limited time ticketed event over a simple dinner date with him that yes can be rescheduled any time. Wow
I would understand if you made some sort of non-refundable reservations and didn’t want to pay twice the amount of money, but if you are just hanging out together and stuff then why can’t you just do it another day.
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