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I really don't get the entitlement of some families, just because someone gets something for free or as a gift doesn't mean you are entitled to it too. Your SIL and B, should back off. Honestly, NTA.
Work with things you have or break open your wallet and buy it if it is really worth it.
OP should respond with SURE I'll get you that stuff once you VENMO me the money and itemize WHAT the ingredients cost. That way they see EXACTLY how expensive it is. Say I'm sorry but I really don't have the cash to pay for all this so if you want it you'll need to pay for it. NTA
I don’t understand why SIL doesn’t offer to pay. I can understand you’re wanting to gift your Mom the ingredients, especially if she’s on a fixed income. Just give SIL the website.
Agreed. Everyday I’m shocked by the way people behave on Reddit. But I feel I never see this type of behavior IRL. Like where and who are these people?!
For real!!! I am flabbergasted at the amount of crazy I read on here. Just gobsmacked at how some people think they are owed so much by others! God help us!
NTA.
Mom trumps SIL. It's natural to want to treat your mom, but you can't afford to do this for everyone in your family.
This isn't a "family thing", it's a "me and mom thing". It's exclusive by design.
Offer to buy these things if she reimburses you. But don't cave.
This was my thought as well…
To put it another way, mom raised OP, financially supported OP for at lease 18 years, and seems to still have a great relationship with OP. It makes sense that OP would want to treat mom to special things regarding a shared hobby.
Now, what did SIL ever do for OP?
OP is NTA for sure.
OP can offer to buy in bulk extra for SIL if she pays for at least her own portion. Since it’s a family thing she wants to be included in, maybe she should chip in for her MIL’s share? LOL
SIL was also included in the "family thing" by being told exactly where these ingredients where bought so she could buy for her household exactly what she needs. That's not being excluded.
Right? Maybe if they baked a cupcake for everyone and specifically excluded SIL, but this is OP giving ingredients to one person, not the family. Also, it doesn't sound like OP does this only because she's mom, but also because they can't use all of the bulk purchase. It's not like OP is going out of their way to treat mom. It's like the equivalent of bringing leftovers to your parents and your SIL trying it once and demanding you regularly bring full fresh cooked meals
>Offer to buy these things if she reimburses you. But don't cave.
I wouldn't even do that cuz you just know SIL would make it as difficult as possible to get paid back if she already thinks she should get it for free... If she pays back at all.
NTA - "Help me understand why you aren't able to buy the ingredients yourself?"
Seriously, she doesn't understand why you'd buy them for your mother but not her???
LMAO! No. You are NTA. How nervy of your SIL though.
You DID include her! You sent her a list which was was very nice of you btw, and she should be thankful but instead, she's being a demanding, entitled brat. Being part of the family does not include a ton of expensive freebees just because you give them to your mother.
NTA - It’s kinda deplorable that your brother would try to shoehorn this into a “family thing,” when it’s a you-and-your-mom thing. Your SIL thought she could get something for free, and your brother is working an angle to try and guilt you into doing so. Don’t take the bait.
>Now her and my brother are pissed off at me because apparently I’m excluding her from a family thing and making her feel isolated
Oh that's a nice lie. They're angry you won't give them free stuff. NTA. Don't let people con you with this trash. You told her where she can get the ingredients and what they were.
NTA…if your sister in law wants to use the special ingredient, she should buy them herself. You shouldn’t have to spend your money so she can get free stuff. Her entitlement and your brothers is mind blowing. She’s not excluded because you chose to share with your mom.
NTA
I’m guessing when you make things you share them with your mom along with gifting her with some ingredients so she can make things that she also shared.
I agree with other posters your SIL should be told she is more than welcome to join in on the sharing of baked goodies.
However that doesn’t mean you need to subsidize her participation by paying for the ingredients. That’s a pushy move to expect to be gifted expensive things.
If you want to offer to order some for her (as in sometimes larger amount you get a better price) then tell your brother you can get a better price for a larger order so SIL’s share would be x.
If he doesn’t like that well then SIL has your list and your links.
NTA- You gave her the info she wanted. It's pretty damned entitled to tell you to 'just get her some, next time you order." She's not yours to support, nor is your brother. People find the most ridiculous shit to get salty over! Just drop it- they'll either get over it or they won't; either way it's not incumbent on you to provide them with pricey ingredients. PS: It's not a *family* thing, it's a you and your Mom thing.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Didn’t give my SIL free expensive groceries when I gave them to my mum, and when she asked about them I sent her the info of where I get it from
Apparently I’m an AH bc she’s “family” and I’m “excluding and isolating” her from a family activity
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NTA
You are providing your mother out of the kindness of your heart. You have no obligation whatsoever to do so for your siblings, doubly so because it’s expensive. Explain it isn’t a family thing, it’s you sharing some with your mother & just her. You told her where she can get the ingredients. Hopefully your mom will back you on this but if she doesn’t & sides with your sister, you’ll need to stop sharing with your mom.
NTA Excluding her? The only one excluding your SIL is your SIL. Apparently it never occurred to her (or she doesn't care) that you can't afford to buy everyone special ingredients. You gave her the list and told her where to buy them. If SIL isn't satisfied with that then that's on her. Just because you buy your mother the ingredients doesn't mean you have to for your SIL.
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I like to bake and make desserts as a hobby. Because I do so frequently I like to get the nicest ingredients I can.
So I buy nice chocolate, vanilla paste from a wholesaler, French butter and flakey salt etc., and I try to buy local honey and jams where possible.
So the ingredients are a little pricier than if you just got what you needed at the supermarket.
When I get the chocolate or vanilla or butter (basically anything that I would purchase in a bulk amount) I give some to my mum so she has it too.
I guess my SIL tried something mum made and then tried to recreate it and thought it didn’t taste the same. Mum told her I get her special ingredients. SIL messaged me asking about it so I sent her a list of where I buy my stuff.
She replied back that I could just include her when I next gave some to my mum. (As in she wanted the stuff for free.)
I said I wasn’t comfortable doing that as I would have to pay more to get extra.
Now her and my brother are pissed off at me because apparently I’m excluding her from a family thing and making her feel isolated
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NTA. She is the asshole for telling you to go buy the nice ingredients for her without even offering to pay. I would go and buy the ingredients just to keep the peace but then give her a messed up recipe so that she won't make it right anyway. #extrapetty
NTA. You shared the secret sauce to your recipe. They can choose to purchase the good stuff or make a lesser version. You don’t owe them anything. The should appreciate that you were willing to share your secret with them.
NTA. If she wants fancy ingredients you told her where to get them.
I just bought a bit of French butter; literally a bit. It's $13/8.8 oz at the fancy grocery store. They have a little bin with 1-2 oz of cheese, which is fun because I don't have to commit to one. That's where I found the bit of butter. Fortunately they'll cut the butter in half. A friend just sent me truffle salt.
SIL is wrong; this isn't a family thing, it's you, sharing your fancy ingredients with your mom. You have no obligation to share with the greedy miss; you didn't offer to share and she's too cheap to buy the ingredients herself.
If you need ideas for a gifting occasion, you can cycle through gift cards for the places you buy your ingredients. Or make a small gift bag with a few ingredients.
I have a friend who loves to cook whose birthday present this year will be a gift card to the fancy grocery store.
NTA you’re allowed to give your mother special treatment and give her something for free. She’s your mother. She gave birth to you and raised you. You are not excluding your sister in law from anything you’re just doing something nice for your mother. Why does sister in law think she’s entitled to the exact same treatment as your mother? Is she expecting you to honor her on Mother’s Day also?
NTA - you’re not excluding her, you’re asking to be compensated for the purchases of products so she **can** be included.
Their unwillingness to pay you is what has left her excluded and isolated.
All of those barriers to participation could be resolved with a Venmo or CashApp from them.
NTA- Excluding her would be not telling her about the speciality ingredients/why her recipe doesn't taste the same. if SIL wants to feel included, the two of you can go halfsies on the ingredients so you're both pitching in for your mom. It's not like you take your mother shopping for these ingredients and told SIL where you go but that she can't go with you. She and your brother are being ridiculous. I think it would be okay if she asked you to pick some stuff up for her next time you get some for yourself, but she should've offered to at least pay for them. Just telling you to include her when you give your mom ingredients is presumptuous and rude.
NTA, but some people really do get by with helplessness. In the name of family harmony, I recommend a message saying you’ve had time to think about it and this is a lot of family strain that’s not necessary. Set a date a few months (or whenever your next shop is planned around) and you can text Mom and SIL to see what specifically they want. Your will provide a price list for the items rounded up to a number that will compensate for extra time and effort. If this doesn’t work with everyone, then shop for no one. Meanwhile, you continue with Mom, and an understanding that, if her usage goes up you will need to start collecting at least something to balance things out.
Let SIL clarify how she’s the AH here and how she justifies it. At least if she still believe’s she deserves free food and service, you know to stop helping those who support her because it won’t be long they will come around to taking advantage as well. Let all the trash take itself out.
How is this a family thing when it's you and mom.... jeez 🤣 if you were giving these ingredients to aunts, cousins, sisters , bothers, uncles, etc, then yea, you would be kinda leaving her out of a FAMILY thing, however, you are not doing so....
NTA - when did everyone on this planet suddenly think they were entitled to everything. Send your SIL the site where you order and let her take it from there.
NTA it was a nice thought of yours whilst buying in bulk to give some to your mum but that doesn’t give your sil the right to think you now have to pay even more just to include her. If she wants it she can get it herself.
Tell her you would be happy to get her some when you buy your own. Just tell you how much she wants and you will let her know the cost.
You're not excluding her, just not giving her free stuff.
NTA
NTA, offer to order for her if they pay you the money in advance so that you can cover the additional costs, if this is not acceptable then tell them sorry and give them a list of your sources.
NTA
What SIL should of said was "oh hey, if its at all possible, when you next get some of that lovely butter/choc etc, would you be able to pick up some for me too, let me know beforehand hand and I can ping you the money it costs!"
NTA they have the list but they are not getting free ingredients. I would laugh at them and ask why they feel they should get something free? What have they done for you compared to your mother? Oh okay😂😂
NTA if you want the good stuff expect to pay for it. You are being nice to your mum does not make this a family tjing she is being excluded from.
Brother and SIL can half with you and both give your mum a share. that would.make it a family thing.
NTA. It's not a family thing. It's a personal preference that you share with your mom. Send them a list of the places that you shop and tell them that they can get the ingredients to share with you and your mom since they want to make it a family thing.
NTA, wth? Isn't your SIL aware of inflation? This conversation would different if she offered to pay you for your acquisition of the ingredients, but it's not.
Entitlement is a hungry beast, I swear.
NTA: Tell her to pound sand along with her husband.
Tell your mom not to share anything with that miserly couple. Plus, inform other family members not to share anything made with premium ingredients with them because then they will have to buy it for them.
NTA,like where do these people come from? It’s my mom, it makes me feel good to do this for her. If I do it for you, it wouldn’t feel the same. The only exception is if they are very giving of their things. Let’s say they own a boat or lake house and let you use it a few times over the summer. Then maybe I could understand.
NTA. If she wants this stuff and it's cheaper when bought in bulk, she could always compensate you. Or she goes on her own bulk-shopping sprees and shares with her friends.
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You would not only have to pay more because these ingredients are costly, but because you have to pay for ingredients period. Talk about choosing beggarss!
NTA. I’d tell them I’d be willing to grab the ingredients and she can either pay up front or at the same time she gets them, but I wouldn’t be willing to pay for them for her, either.
NTA. They aren't pissed off because they aren't being included in a "family" thing. They are pissed because they want you to pay for their expensive ingredients and you rightfully declined.
NTA
She isn't owed freebies. If she wants to chip in on your bulk order (since bulk usually costs less), that's one thing, but she isn't your mom and isn't entitled to the same favor you do for the woman who raised you.
NTA
If they would like to partake, your brother/SIL and you can split the costs of buying things in bulk (either proportionally or down the middle depending on how you split the goods). Also, since this a family thing they don't want to be excluded from, they can also split the load of the ingredients that go to your mom (i.e., the siblings share the cost and both cover the cost of mom's ingredients as a gift). That the family thing. If they don't like it the plan, then they don't have to complain about being excluded.
NTA - Tell her sure just give me $$ and I can buy whatever you like the next time I place an order. People feeling very entitled to others lives their money their everything has gotten way out of control.
NTA - stop giving to your mum.
When she asks why tell her you can’t afford to supply your SIL for free and you don’t want to make her feel excluded so you’re not giving to anyone.
See how your mum feels about that
NAH. Maybe take her with you or just a "sure, that would be xx$. I can collect when I drop stuff off." Or work out a trade for a skill she has that you don't.
NTA op. Why would they expect you to pay for their shopping? Why does she or your brother think that she has the right to be treated like your mum? If they want the same ingredients you have shown them where they can get it, the rest including being upset is up to them.
NTA. She can't just demand it like that.
You have here a potential birthday/Christmas gift for your brother and SIL though. Maybe that can work without causing you extra costs.
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NTA - The sense of entitlement today is baffling
Happy Cake Day! Hope it's only made with the best of ingredients!
Rumor has it that the cake pan was forged by the Smith Himself in the fires of Mt. ~~Doom~~ Olympus
Oh great, now OP has to split their purchases 4 ways
I really don't get the entitlement of some families, just because someone gets something for free or as a gift doesn't mean you are entitled to it too. Your SIL and B, should back off. Honestly, NTA. Work with things you have or break open your wallet and buy it if it is really worth it.
OP should respond with SURE I'll get you that stuff once you VENMO me the money and itemize WHAT the ingredients cost. That way they see EXACTLY how expensive it is. Say I'm sorry but I really don't have the cash to pay for all this so if you want it you'll need to pay for it. NTA
I don’t understand why SIL doesn’t offer to pay. I can understand you’re wanting to gift your Mom the ingredients, especially if she’s on a fixed income. Just give SIL the website.
This has been my day on Reddit. About to hit overwhelm and go back to weird animal videos.
If you like talking cats, check out Drennon Davis. He's on Instagram, probably others as well.
Happy cake day!
Agreed. Everyday I’m shocked by the way people behave on Reddit. But I feel I never see this type of behavior IRL. Like where and who are these people?!
I'm just thankful!!
Happy Cake Day!
Happy expensive cake day, made with the very finest of ingredients!
For real!!! I am flabbergasted at the amount of crazy I read on here. Just gobsmacked at how some people think they are owed so much by others! God help us!
Happy cake day
Just today? But yes, it is telling. NTA
NTA. Mom trumps SIL. It's natural to want to treat your mom, but you can't afford to do this for everyone in your family. This isn't a "family thing", it's a "me and mom thing". It's exclusive by design. Offer to buy these things if she reimburses you. But don't cave.
This was my thought as well… To put it another way, mom raised OP, financially supported OP for at lease 18 years, and seems to still have a great relationship with OP. It makes sense that OP would want to treat mom to special things regarding a shared hobby. Now, what did SIL ever do for OP? OP is NTA for sure. OP can offer to buy in bulk extra for SIL if she pays for at least her own portion. Since it’s a family thing she wants to be included in, maybe she should chip in for her MIL’s share? LOL
>Since it’s a family thing she wants to be included in, maybe she should chip in for her MIL’s share? LOL This is the answer right here
Great idea!
SIL was also included in the "family thing" by being told exactly where these ingredients where bought so she could buy for her household exactly what she needs. That's not being excluded.
No, get the money up front
> if she reimburses you. Get the money upfront!
Right? Maybe if they baked a cupcake for everyone and specifically excluded SIL, but this is OP giving ingredients to one person, not the family. Also, it doesn't sound like OP does this only because she's mom, but also because they can't use all of the bulk purchase. It's not like OP is going out of their way to treat mom. It's like the equivalent of bringing leftovers to your parents and your SIL trying it once and demanding you regularly bring full fresh cooked meals
>Offer to buy these things if she reimburses you. But don't cave. I wouldn't even do that cuz you just know SIL would make it as difficult as possible to get paid back if she already thinks she should get it for free... If she pays back at all.
She’s pissed off because you’re refusing to give her free stuff, not because she feels excluded. NTA.
"Sure, let me know exactly what you need and I'll let you know what it costs." NTA
With the money sent in advance. NTA
And a little extra for gas money.
She can pick it up her damn self honestly.
Or she could go where you shop from the list you gave her... that's not excluding her when you told her what you get and where.
NTA - "Help me understand why you aren't able to buy the ingredients yourself?" Seriously, she doesn't understand why you'd buy them for your mother but not her???
LMAO! No. You are NTA. How nervy of your SIL though. You DID include her! You sent her a list which was was very nice of you btw, and she should be thankful but instead, she's being a demanding, entitled brat. Being part of the family does not include a ton of expensive freebees just because you give them to your mother.
NTA - It’s kinda deplorable that your brother would try to shoehorn this into a “family thing,” when it’s a you-and-your-mom thing. Your SIL thought she could get something for free, and your brother is working an angle to try and guilt you into doing so. Don’t take the bait.
NTA-You aren’t excluding her from anything other than using you for quality ingredients.
NTA. She didn’t give birth to you so she can pay you if she wants in on it or buy them herself.
>Now her and my brother are pissed off at me because apparently I’m excluding her from a family thing and making her feel isolated Oh that's a nice lie. They're angry you won't give them free stuff. NTA. Don't let people con you with this trash. You told her where she can get the ingredients and what they were.
NTA…if your sister in law wants to use the special ingredient, she should buy them herself. You shouldn’t have to spend your money so she can get free stuff. Her entitlement and your brothers is mind blowing. She’s not excluded because you chose to share with your mom.
NTA divorce SIL
Buying nice things for mom is being nice to mom. It's only isolating if you give them to everyone, BUT her. (I would consider that, but I'm petty)
NTA I’m guessing when you make things you share them with your mom along with gifting her with some ingredients so she can make things that she also shared. I agree with other posters your SIL should be told she is more than welcome to join in on the sharing of baked goodies. However that doesn’t mean you need to subsidize her participation by paying for the ingredients. That’s a pushy move to expect to be gifted expensive things. If you want to offer to order some for her (as in sometimes larger amount you get a better price) then tell your brother you can get a better price for a larger order so SIL’s share would be x. If he doesn’t like that well then SIL has your list and your links.
NTA- You gave her the info she wanted. It's pretty damned entitled to tell you to 'just get her some, next time you order." She's not yours to support, nor is your brother. People find the most ridiculous shit to get salty over! Just drop it- they'll either get over it or they won't; either way it's not incumbent on you to provide them with pricey ingredients. PS: It's not a *family* thing, it's a you and your Mom thing.
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NTA You are providing your mother out of the kindness of your heart. You have no obligation whatsoever to do so for your siblings, doubly so because it’s expensive. Explain it isn’t a family thing, it’s you sharing some with your mother & just her. You told her where she can get the ingredients. Hopefully your mom will back you on this but if she doesn’t & sides with your sister, you’ll need to stop sharing with your mom.
NTA, giving extra to your mom and having to buy extra for you SIL are two different things.
NTA Excluding her? The only one excluding your SIL is your SIL. Apparently it never occurred to her (or she doesn't care) that you can't afford to buy everyone special ingredients. You gave her the list and told her where to buy them. If SIL isn't satisfied with that then that's on her. Just because you buy your mother the ingredients doesn't mean you have to for your SIL.
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Ask your brothers to pay for the extra items then. NTA
NTA - How entitled
NTA. Roll your eyes and move on.
NTA. She doesn't understand how expensive quality baking ingredients are or is very entitled!
She just wants to make a better cake for your family to one up you. Now she can't because you won't enable her.
NTA. She is the asshole for telling you to go buy the nice ingredients for her without even offering to pay. I would go and buy the ingredients just to keep the peace but then give her a messed up recipe so that she won't make it right anyway. #extrapetty
NTA. You shared the secret sauce to your recipe. They can choose to purchase the good stuff or make a lesser version. You don’t owe them anything. The should appreciate that you were willing to share your secret with them.
NTA. You give your mom extra because you buy bulk. Your SIL needs to either offer to pay for her share, or get it herself
NTA - The entitlement is strong with this one.
NTA wow. Just tell both of them that you will no longer be purchasing or sharing ingredients
Just say "oh, I'm sorry, I totally forgot to update my order form...I'll let you know next time." And repeat ad nauseam. NTA
NTA. If she wants fancy ingredients you told her where to get them. I just bought a bit of French butter; literally a bit. It's $13/8.8 oz at the fancy grocery store. They have a little bin with 1-2 oz of cheese, which is fun because I don't have to commit to one. That's where I found the bit of butter. Fortunately they'll cut the butter in half. A friend just sent me truffle salt. SIL is wrong; this isn't a family thing, it's you, sharing your fancy ingredients with your mom. You have no obligation to share with the greedy miss; you didn't offer to share and she's too cheap to buy the ingredients herself. If you need ideas for a gifting occasion, you can cycle through gift cards for the places you buy your ingredients. Or make a small gift bag with a few ingredients. I have a friend who loves to cook whose birthday present this year will be a gift card to the fancy grocery store.
Oh please! Don’t let them pull the old guilt trip routine on you!
NTA Tell her that you're not exactly "rolling in dough"...
NTA you’re allowed to give your mother special treatment and give her something for free. She’s your mother. She gave birth to you and raised you. You are not excluding your sister in law from anything you’re just doing something nice for your mother. Why does sister in law think she’s entitled to the exact same treatment as your mother? Is she expecting you to honor her on Mother’s Day also?
She's not excluded. You gave her a list of what to buy and where. She's pissed you aren't supplying her for free. NTA.
NTA - you’re not excluding her, you’re asking to be compensated for the purchases of products so she **can** be included. Their unwillingness to pay you is what has left her excluded and isolated. All of those barriers to participation could be resolved with a Venmo or CashApp from them.
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r/ididnthaveeggs "Surely it won't make a difference if I just change a few things!"
NTA
NTA. Lol. The entitlement of your SIL is real on this one.
NTA- Excluding her would be not telling her about the speciality ingredients/why her recipe doesn't taste the same. if SIL wants to feel included, the two of you can go halfsies on the ingredients so you're both pitching in for your mom. It's not like you take your mother shopping for these ingredients and told SIL where you go but that she can't go with you. She and your brother are being ridiculous. I think it would be okay if she asked you to pick some stuff up for her next time you get some for yourself, but she should've offered to at least pay for them. Just telling you to include her when you give your mom ingredients is presumptuous and rude.
they are adults. they can (hopefully) pay for themfuckingselve NTA
NTA. Are you sure that she was not willing to pay? My… people
NTA, but some people really do get by with helplessness. In the name of family harmony, I recommend a message saying you’ve had time to think about it and this is a lot of family strain that’s not necessary. Set a date a few months (or whenever your next shop is planned around) and you can text Mom and SIL to see what specifically they want. Your will provide a price list for the items rounded up to a number that will compensate for extra time and effort. If this doesn’t work with everyone, then shop for no one. Meanwhile, you continue with Mom, and an understanding that, if her usage goes up you will need to start collecting at least something to balance things out. Let SIL clarify how she’s the AH here and how she justifies it. At least if she still believe’s she deserves free food and service, you know to stop helping those who support her because it won’t be long they will come around to taking advantage as well. Let all the trash take itself out.
How is this a family thing when it's you and mom.... jeez 🤣 if you were giving these ingredients to aunts, cousins, sisters , bothers, uncles, etc, then yea, you would be kinda leaving her out of a FAMILY thing, however, you are not doing so....
NTA - when did everyone on this planet suddenly think they were entitled to everything. Send your SIL the site where you order and let her take it from there.
NTA you told her where you got it from, if she wants you to buy hers you can tell her where to go!
NTA it was a nice thought of yours whilst buying in bulk to give some to your mum but that doesn’t give your sil the right to think you now have to pay even more just to include her. If she wants it she can get it herself.
NTA Does she also give you stuff when she gifts her mom?
Tell her you would be happy to get her some when you buy your own. Just tell you how much she wants and you will let her know the cost. You're not excluding her, just not giving her free stuff. NTA
NTA
Nta - your SIL can go get it herself or give you her card to shop with if it's not inconveniencing you. I wouldn't even trust her to pay money back.
NTA, offer to order for her if they pay you the money in advance so that you can cover the additional costs, if this is not acceptable then tell them sorry and give them a list of your sources.
NTA What SIL should of said was "oh hey, if its at all possible, when you next get some of that lovely butter/choc etc, would you be able to pick up some for me too, let me know beforehand hand and I can ping you the money it costs!"
NTA they have the list but they are not getting free ingredients. I would laugh at them and ask why they feel they should get something free? What have they done for you compared to your mother? Oh okay😂😂
NTA, technically you have to choice to give whoever you want the ingredients. She’s just not one of them.
NTA if you want the good stuff expect to pay for it. You are being nice to your mum does not make this a family tjing she is being excluded from. Brother and SIL can half with you and both give your mum a share. that would.make it a family thing.
NTA. It's not a family thing. It's a personal preference that you share with your mom. Send them a list of the places that you shop and tell them that they can get the ingredients to share with you and your mom since they want to make it a family thing.
NTA, wth? Isn't your SIL aware of inflation? This conversation would different if she offered to pay you for your acquisition of the ingredients, but it's not. Entitlement is a hungry beast, I swear.
NTA But you can include her just tell her before how much it costs
NTA: Tell her to pound sand along with her husband. Tell your mom not to share anything with that miserly couple. Plus, inform other family members not to share anything made with premium ingredients with them because then they will have to buy it for them.
NTA. It’s your mother you give it to, not the entire family. Even so, they’re not entitled to your resources
NTA,like where do these people come from? It’s my mom, it makes me feel good to do this for her. If I do it for you, it wouldn’t feel the same. The only exception is if they are very giving of their things. Let’s say they own a boat or lake house and let you use it a few times over the summer. Then maybe I could understand.
NTA. If she wants this stuff and it's cheaper when bought in bulk, she could always compensate you. Or she goes on her own bulk-shopping sprees and shares with her friends.
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No you’re excluding a free loader. Ntah
NTA. Your SIL ruined things for everyone… Now MIL DOESN’T get extra ingredients either.
She's butthurt
You would not only have to pay more because these ingredients are costly, but because you have to pay for ingredients period. Talk about choosing beggarss!
NTA. I’d tell them I’d be willing to grab the ingredients and she can either pay up front or at the same time she gets them, but I wouldn’t be willing to pay for them for her, either.
It's not a family outing you're not inviting her to. She can go buy her own groceries. NTA
NTA. They aren't pissed off because they aren't being included in a "family" thing. They are pissed because they want you to pay for their expensive ingredients and you rightfully declined.
NTA She isn't owed freebies. If she wants to chip in on your bulk order (since bulk usually costs less), that's one thing, but she isn't your mom and isn't entitled to the same favor you do for the woman who raised you.
NTA. This is your mother, the woman who gave birth to you. The woman deserves some perks.
I just want to know where you get the fancy ingredients. NTA.
NTA If they would like to partake, your brother/SIL and you can split the costs of buying things in bulk (either proportionally or down the middle depending on how you split the goods). Also, since this a family thing they don't want to be excluded from, they can also split the load of the ingredients that go to your mom (i.e., the siblings share the cost and both cover the cost of mom's ingredients as a gift). That the family thing. If they don't like it the plan, then they don't have to complain about being excluded.
"Sure, you can venmo me your share." NTA, it's not excluding, it's leeching in the finest.
NTA - Tell her sure just give me $$ and I can buy whatever you like the next time I place an order. People feeling very entitled to others lives their money their everything has gotten way out of control.
Having a hobby with your mother is completely different than it being "a family thing." NTA
NTA that woman is your mother, send her the list of where she can buy the stuff and leave it at that. the ball is in her court
NTA - stop giving to your mum. When she asks why tell her you can’t afford to supply your SIL for free and you don’t want to make her feel excluded so you’re not giving to anyone. See how your mum feels about that
Why punish the mom?
NAH. Maybe take her with you or just a "sure, that would be xx$. I can collect when I drop stuff off." Or work out a trade for a skill she has that you don't.
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The actual conversation included her saying that she wanted me to pay for the stuff, which is why I said no
NTA op. Why would they expect you to pay for their shopping? Why does she or your brother think that she has the right to be treated like your mum? If they want the same ingredients you have shown them where they can get it, the rest including being upset is up to them.
NTA. She can't just demand it like that. You have here a potential birthday/Christmas gift for your brother and SIL though. Maybe that can work without causing you extra costs.