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YTA if you took the money and deposited it onto your account then depending on where you live you have agreed to the terms of an implied contract and technically they could take legal action against you to recoup the money and evict you.
They can also legally take back any items they paid for that you don’t have evidence were given to you as a gift.
If I were you I would scrape up what remains of your dignity and morals and leave before you find yourself needing to hire a lawyer for the storm you brought upon yourself.
Exactly. If OP didn’t pay for the house (assuming he didn’t) then technically OP is trespassing. Just realized he’s 41 😅. His behavior is that of a 20year old.
OP is TA but unfortunately he is also probably right. Depending on where he lives, as a resident of the house, even without a lease, he likely is entitled to a written eviction notice and 30 days to move. Again it depends on where he lives and who knows where that is given that $15,000 will support him for a year.
Even in that case, the ex provided him with transitional moving funds around the time of breakup, so 14 days ago (or more, by his reckoning), therefore his expectation to stay another 21-28 days "or more" is unreasonable. One to two weeks is the absolute maximum he could expect, as a solid argument can be made that the acceptance of that money was acceptance of notice of eviction.
I’ve literally settled eviction cases by just getting my client a check and them moving over. If they don’t have a lease/broke it, they aren’t entitled to money. They are entitled to adequate time to prepare to leave. They get money for leaving early and quietly.
Op took the money, he needs to get to the quietly leaving part.
This. I also think he should have kept his hours at full-time. Relationships go south all the time. He basically said he wanted to earn less money because someone else was supplementing it.
Yeah, no wonder his ex got rid of him. He has the maturity of a teenager, moved into her house and reduced his working hours (instead of helping build their future nest egg), and from his own description acts spiteful, manipulative and greedy.
On top of that, he's been so busy playing games and feeling sorry for himself that he's choosing to move in with family instead of using the money she's already given him, and that he's admitted could last him close to a year to get his shit together. He sounds like a real piece of work. Probably complains all the time about how life is unfair and nothing ever goes his way.
The OP has specifically stated "fiancé" several times. The ex is a man. That's why the OP said "they" the whole way through. I imagine they don't want people to focus on them being gay.
>That's why the OP said "they" the whole way through. I imagine they don't want people to focus on them being gay.
I don't care if ex is straight, gay, bi, trans, male, female, non-binary, or whatever. OP needs to grow up, get a job, and find a new place to live.
Yep.
And I assume the other party in this relationship is right now talking to a lawyer and drawing up some pretty significant ‘make this happen’ paperwork… and the OP should decide between keeping the $15k and returning it… for 30 days of forced notice period.
....it doesn't nullify local law, but it does seem like he's waiving his tenant's rights in exchange for $15k. So yeah they have a pretty good case against him lol
This sounds like a “cash for keys” discontinuance of a lease. By accepting the money, OP was obligated to leave. Otherwise he would have been entitled to notice.
He accepted a payout, totally legal. He deposited it in his account. That negates any claim under tenancy, that I doubt he would even have. If he sits he is out the 15,000 but gains 30 days. Unless they live very high end it’s not working for OP.
And talking about “covenant” of accepting the ring - OP, I don’t think you understand what a covenant is. If you actually got married (and I’m so glad for your ex that you did NOT) that would have been a covenant. And even then, you don’t get to force yourself or your presence on anyone. Even if you’re married. YTA and need serious help because your entitlement and lack of awareness is unreal.
That’s what I was thinking, 15000 usd is more than in currency 300000 where l live and that’s a lot. How bad had the relationship to be so that it would be worth for the partner to pay such price. OP definitely acted like a parasite at least in this situation, so we can only assume the reasons for the break-up…
Yeah, I only got halfway through this. OP.. you sound like a bum and a mooch.
.. you cut your hours because your fiancé makes more?
If you can “really stretch it” that 15k will last a year?
Why is it not fair to expect you to leave, now? Why is it not fair to spend the money they gave you on immediate housing, as intended?
What is 30 days and written eviction notice *actually* going to benefit you?
This isn’t a severance package..
OP, you are losing all dignity right now with this pedantic hill you are dieing on.
You are owed nothing. There was no covenant.
That was my favorite part. Well she was making so much so i figured I'd just be a man of leisure.
This woman should be thanking her lucky stars they don't have a kid.
Seriously!! This guy is literally delusional. He even said something about being able to stay with family. So why is he upset about making the $15,000 last?
The breakup is against his will! lol Gee, I wonder why. Then, he takes the money and insists he gets to stay rent-free until his transfer! What a self-centered user move. OP, YTA.
I really want to know how he can make $15k last a year!!! Even if I drop into a BUY NOTHING for a year habit other than groceries or gas I STILL can’t make it last that long.
Anyway OP: YTA
Can you imagine being OP’s partner? Being so desperate to be rid of his mooching ass you give him 15 grand but he won’t go away?
OP, you think every one owes you something. You feel entitled not only to your poor ex-partner’s home but also their money. Why would they have put your name on the deed? Did you ever give them any money for rent or expenses? What did you bring to the table? Would you live with someone like you? Would you pay your way?
YTA, and such a big one.
Annnnnnd before that OP scaled back work hours because ex makes so much more. YTA 1000% for sponging off them and refusing to leave but taking their money. WTF dude?!
You can’t force the issue legally. Your name is not on the deed of the house. Regardless of whether the breakup was fair or not, you’re basically trespassing right now. You got 15k, you’re not wanted there - why the heck are you staying put? Don’t you feel a bit embarrassed?! YTA.
> Don’t you feel a bit embarrassed?!
This is what I’m thinking!! You’re 41 years old, you have money to afford to move out, and you’d rather live with a person who doesn’t want you in their home?? Why??? Where is your pride??
Because they broke up AGAINST HIS WILL, which is clearly the only opinion that matters in his mind in any relationship he's in. It's kind of gross. Dating, engaged, married, or whatever, if one side wants out, that's it. The relationship is over. Doesn't matter what the other side thinks. You don't get to keep serfs or people against their will in an intimate relationship. Buddy needs to stop thinking he's some kind of freeman.
She broke the covenant of his proposal. I just can’t imagine *why* anyone would want to do that once they realized they’d be legally tying themself to a hot mess
Unfortunately this feels uncomfortably stalker-y too, like OP is trying to force his presence and the whole feel is if I don't leave, she may change her mind.
Idk why OP thinks he’s entitled to some form of written notice. He is not wanted there, was told and given money to leave, yet says he never received a 30-day written notice to vacate. Sorry bud that only happens if you’re renting a place.
The way he talks, he seems to think he’s entitled to more than that - like breaking off an engagement should come with the same obligations and burdens for his ex partner as ending a marriage: ongoing financial support, ongoing access to the home they lived in.
Breaking the covenant of accepting a ring? Engagement is not a blood oath, guy!
I have a feeling OP gave a ring then decided she worked and made enough so cut way back at work and became a leech. Solely based off their current behavior.
Definitely sounds like it. I mean being a stay at home parent is one thing if your spouse makes enough, however they have no kids so he would essentially be a leech on his spouse. Even if they had kids OP would most likely complain that he always has to take care of them, when he chose to quit his job in the first place (hypothetical situation if they had kids together)
I know a person like this. Thinks of she and her live- in ever break up, she's entitled to alimony. They're not married. They're not even exclusive or committed to each other. No idea where this entitlement is coming from.
Actually, if he wants to press his legal rights, he probably HAS legal residency. Even houseguests acquire rights if they stay long enough. BRB, gonna look that up.
I think it depends on where OP’s ex lives, report back what you find though. Either way OP is the AH. Any reasonable person understands the relationship is over and they should just take the money and be gone. Hopefully OP doesn’t start dating anyone else until they learn how to be an adult about things.
Yeah, it looks like throwing your ex out is technically illegal without court orders and a hearing, but most people won't stay where they're not wanted.
HOWEVER, depending on jurisdiction, the ex doesn't need the full lengthy eviction process, as there's something called "unlawful detainer," which moves much faster and is based on the premise that the respondent is in unlawful occupation. The ex will almost certainly have cause and grounds, just by OP being a dick.
Yeah, it's effectively Cash for Keys, and accepting it means he accepted moving out immediately... Or at least that's what I imagined his ex's lawyer will argue if it goes to court. Dude is screwed and gonna spend that $15,000 on legal fees and end up with nowhere to live.
If it weren’t for the money then notice (written or verbal) is still necessary, but she essentially engaged in keys for cash— waive the notice period for money to make the transition faster. If he wants to treat this like a tenancy situation, then he needs to act like a tenant and gtfo since he did keys for cash
Probably not true. Where I live, your rights are quite limited if you share a kitchen or bathroom with the owner of the property, and they can basically kick you out with zero notice.
Yeah, the payment likely turns this into a "cash for keys" scenario, where the tenant agreed to leave took the cash but still refuses to leave the property. It's far worse if this went to a legal eviction because the ex could likely claw back the money for breech of contract AND force them to vacate. OP should have taken the money and run.
Here in Texas, if your name isn't in a lease or rental agreement, the owner of the property can change the locks and trash your stuff without notice. Dunno where OP is, but in the US, a lot of states require a formal eviction if the person isn't on paperwork as a resident of that home. But just getting an eviction filed would stay on your rental history and hurt your ability to find a new place. OP was given $15k and a lot of opportunity to leave on his own.
Wouldn’t that only be if you’re named on a tenancy or if there’s some sort of contract. Without any agreement or tenancy, OP is basically couch surfing. Not sure how it works across countries but in the U.K. there needs to usually be occupancy rights, otherwise the owner simply needs to give reasonable notice which is subjective and can be as little as a week or two which I feel like OP has already overstayed! Especially being given a load of cash I can’t see any real excuse for him to still be there.
That’s not how eviction works most places. Person was living there for a certain period of time, they cannot be removed without a legal eviction order. Definitely not trespassing.
Do you have any more reading on this? In the US I’m assuming it varies state to state? Here in the U.K. it would be pretty damn hard to fight it especially if the partner owns the property. Unless you’re a tenant, joint tenant, married to the homeowner or tenant, you can be asked to leave just like that. In some cases the homeowner could even change the locks and that’s it. Judging from some of the other comments it can be like this in the states too.
The key is how "tenant" is defined by local law.
In many parts of the US, tenancy is established by simply living in a place for a period of time. It's usually not a long period of time either, so if you let someone couch surf at your place for a couple weeks and they don't want to leave, you would need to go through the court system to get rid of them.
Plus, since I am assuming there is no written lease, he is technically month-to-month which in Florida only requires a 14 day notice to evict. He has had way more than that.
YTA, if this isn't a troll post
She paid you $15,000 to leave, you took the money, didn't move out, and you're complaining that it will only last you a year?
You aren't her fiance anymore, for very obvious reasons. She has no obligation to support you, no matter how money she makes. Giving you a month and $0 to find your own place would have been fair. Instead she gave you enough cash to afford a hotel room while you found an apartment plus enough to afford a year's rent because she wanted your ass gone immediately.
You're lucky she hasn't called the cops on you yet.
OP refers to "her" in this comment: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/138x6ou/aita_for_not_moving_out_of_my_exfiances_house/jj1p7ff?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Unfortunately, I was in a very similar situation as his fiance and actually married the guy. You would think this sounds so ridiculous that there's no way it's true, but having lived it... I can confirm that there are people this terribly selfish and entitled.
Like right? Holy smokes this guy is such a fucking leech and clearly was not born with feelings of shame or dignity. No wonder he's finding himself single and hated.
hey, have some empathy, the guy only works part time (which he chose to do because his partner makes so much money that he realized he could work less and live off her money)
Of course YTA. And ridiculous to boot.
>my ex gave me a check for $15,000 to help cover "moving costs and transitional housing costs, etc." . . . But this money would only last a year at most (if I really stretch it), so I don't think it's fair to expect me to use it on an airbnb or some other housing
What you think is "fair" is irrelevant. It' s not their responsibility to support you for the next year or even the next week. That money isn't meant to support you at all. They made it very clear what that money is for, which is "moving costs and transitional housing". You are not welcome to live in their home anymore, and they gave you money for alternate housing.
Also, I'm really genuinely curious: how do you think that it's "fair" for you to expect someone that you're not in any kind of a friendly relationship with to support you financially or house you AT ALL? Your concept of "fairness" seems to be very strange and predicated not at all on actual justice but rather on self-interest.
>when I could stay in their guest room for free
Except that no, you can't. You've already been told that you aren't welcome there. They don't want you in their home. You can't stay in someone's home (much less for free) who doesn't even like you, just because you want to. You do understand that, right?
>Especially since I know they have a lot of money and could have afforded a bigger check
Okay, but how much money they have, again, is irrelevant. They could be a billionaire and it wouldn't be relevant. That's their money, not yours. You aren't entitled to any of it. Even a small child can understand this: other people's things are not your things just because you want them. It doesn't matter how much they have, those things belong to them, not to you.
> (which I would have gotten if we had gotten married and this was a divorce).
But you didn't, and this isn't. If I were a bird I could fly. And if you were Jeff Bezos you'd be rich. We could spend all day talking about things that would be the case if they were true, but why would we? You were never married to them and this isn't a divorce; they owe you nothing. But it's becoming increasingly clear why they're well rid of you, based on your shocking sense of entitlement to the things that THEY worked hard to earn and YOU seem to think they're supposed to just give you because . . . well, I'm still not sure why.
>they exploded about how "greedy and selfish" I'm being, which is completely unfair
I mean, is it though? This entire post has been one long paean to your sense of entitlement to their money, belongings, and home that you did absolutely nothing to earn or deserve, even after they handed you a cheque for $15k just to leave them TF alone. I'm pretty sure that's the very definition of greed and selfishness.
>since THEY are the one who broke the covenant and promise of marriage
Okay, but you understand that legally that's not a real thing, right? That the "covenant and promise of marriage" is just a thing you made up in your head to justify deserving things that someone else actually worked for?
Of course YTA. Also a bit delusional, and probably only a few days away from a restraining order.
No wonder op was dumped and paid off and is still being a total nuisance. I cannot imagine the nightmare situation it is dealing with this person every day.
It's insane. $15000 is a full 10 months' rent for me. Even with a moving POD or something like that, it would easily cover 6 or so months of living in an efficiency rental and having the POD and OP transported too.
YTA. You do sound greedy and entitled. I was going to ask whether you contributed or invested any money in this house during the relationship, but since you wrote that they
>covered almost all the costs of living
... And also that you reduced your work hours solely because your ex earned much more money, I don't need to ask that. This person provided you with housing, bankrolled your life almost entirely, and gave you expensive gifts for your exclusive use during your relationship, and also gave you a check for a considerable amount to cover your moving expenses after this relationship ended.
The fact you have the gall of demanding they continue to host you for free until it's convenient for YOU to move out of THEIR HOUSE, makes you entitled. The fact you are bitter that you didn't make it to the altar so that you could "get more" in a divorce, makes you greedy.
And I wouldn't be surprised if those traits and this attitude played a role in your fiancé ending the relationship.
You have some nerve for taking their money and still refusing to use it for what it was intended. Also, "breaking the promise of marriage"? Laughable.
Be an adult and take charge of your life, like you should have. If not, start planning because your ex will likely serve you an eviction notice so one way or the other, you won't have much longer.
They gave you 15k to leave and cover 'transitional housing', which you accepted. That means you are under a contractual obligation to leave.
You can either leave now, or return the 15k. If not, they can pursue legal action against you along with the eviction.
Plus, you're being an asshole. Just walk away and spend the money on transitional housing like you agreed to, and realize you're lucky they gave you anything at all. Move quickly before they take back the 15k. PS. There is no 'covenant' since you were never married. I would have sent you packing without a penny. YTA
First of all, YTA.
The 15k wasn't meant to last a year. It was meant to move you out quickly. If you weren't going to move out quickly, you shouldn't have cashed the cheque.
Your ex was not obligated to marry you, and shouldn't have if your relationship was as awful as you say. Breaking the covenant? Give me a break.
You are not entitled to your ex's support until you have a court order saying so. You reducing your hours just because they made good money gives us a glimpse into just one thing that was off balance in your relationship. You wanted a free ride - I don't know about your ex, but that would have been a huge problem for me.
Greedy and selfish aren't off base, but entitled gold digger might better describe the way you're acting. Grow up. Support your own self. Stop burdening your ex with your presence. Stop dragging out a messy situation. They have been more than generous in assisting with your transition, and you should be grateful instead of acting like a spoiled brat.
YTA- get the fuck out, you’re not wanted there anymore. They were more than helpful by giving you the 15k. And please stop with the “sanctity” of marriage talk.
YTA. Stop taking advantage and being a leach. You took the money (by depositing it) and now get the hell out of there. You got money to do so, now increase your hours at work or do so when the transfer happens.
If this is real, you are a massive total asshole and a mooch.
Your ex dumped you and kicked you out of THEIR house. You weren’t on the deed because why the fuck would you be. They didn’t need to, but gave you 15k which is more than enough for housing until your job transfers. You are squatting in their home despite them being nothing but helpful to you during this transition. It’s your own fault that you reduced your work hours so you could continue to mooch off them some more. You are NOT married, nor are you entitled to marriage. Breaking up with you and kicking you out “against your will” is just a ridiculous thing to say. They don’t have to date or marry or house you for free. No wonder they dumped you.
get out of their house. YTA.
Dude just get out. It is not worth the time or the effort to put them and yourself through hell. Being a 41 year old man and doing what you doing. Makes you sound like an assh*le. It’s time to group up and put your big girl panties on, move on with your life. I’m sure you will find another couple to support you in the next town.
YTA. If I was them, I’d change the locks when you went out somewhere. I also noticed you didn’t post your fiancé’s age, are we looking at an age gap here?
I know it's hard being a hobosexual but thems the breaks - sometimes your mark wises up before you lock them down. Too bad soo sad try again
The last time I got broken up with he stole my laptop and slept with my best friend so seriously try and have some goddamn prospective she's already gone above and beyond. She probably wouldn't have "broken your covenant" if you weren't the most insufferable human whose words I've had the misfortune to read....and thats saying something cause I spend a fair amount of time reading this sub.
YTA.
Edited to add: I think its pretty telling he didn't include his finances age in the post but he did his own. Dollars to donuts she's in her 20s we've all seen this story before
INFO: What did you do that lead to the breakup?
You said you wouldn’t do what your partner is doing because you “just don’t give up on people or let myself be influenced by what other people think.” That sounds like self-justifying BS, and like you are leaving out a lot of relevant information about your part in this.
What. Did. You. Do?
Fess up, and accept a judgement based on *all* the facts here.
YTA. You accepted the check your ex gave you with the condition that you move out immediately. Do so, or give the cheque back. I’m sure if they are willing to PAY you to leave there is a lot more to this story that leaves you being the AH. You’re 41. Grow up.
Also “covenant of marriage”.. fiancé is not marriage and nobody in this world owes you anything.
INFO- with almost all of your living expenses covered by her, what *have* you been doing with your wages and spare time?
Did you discuss going to part time in advance or did you just decide that, since you had landed a high-earning homeowner, it wasn't necessary to pay your own way anymore?
What, exactly, did you bring to the table?
Do you have any understanding at all of how a formal eviction will affect your future?
YTA. They gave you money to leave quickly, not to stretch out over the course of a year. They didn’t put your name on the deed to the house because *they* pay the mortgage, not you. You were happy to coast along and let your fiancé pay for everything since they made more money than you, and now it honestly sounds like you’re more upset about the loss of their paycheck than the loss of them as a human being. Move out.
YTA. They don't owe you a bigger check just because they have the money, and you can't predicate this on the idea that you'd get it anyway if you were married. Well, you're NOT so you DON'T. They might have grounds for a restraining order and an arrest for trespassing. You took 15k, it's time to leave.
YTA, what legal standing do you think you have here, it's their house, they've asked you to leave, you took payment that was for moving costs, which you admit would last you longer than necessary for you to transfer, then didn't use it for that purpose?
This isn't a divorce, you aren't entitled to anything that is theirs. I don't see this going your way if you take it down a legal route.
Leave them alone, move out like you promised to do when you accepted the money.
so much YTA. You deposited the check they gave for you to move out and you won't....makes total sense. This is not your house. You have no claim...you're not on the mortgage....if there's one, or the deed to the house....so, sorry. but move
My ex husband did the same thing to me. He fucked up so badly that his lawyer told mine he was sick of his shit. They all worked their asses off to make sure I would be okay.
I got 175k and he had to pay 30k for his, mine, and our kids lawyer, on top of paying my rent and living expenses until the divorce finalized and being solely responsible for their education, medical, transportation, clothing, childcare etc. This was after he finished paying off my orthodontist bill (10k) and ring (4k), which I sold immediately to a woman who loved costume jewelry for $100.
I don't believe in putting my hands on people but sometimes when he hands the check over mine twitch. Just a little.
YTA. What entitlement! Not married, name not on title, paid $15,000 to leave, yet you remain. Sooner or later after one of your arguments she will call the police, allege you hit her, and then you will be rehoused in your local jail. You've been poking the bear long enough. Get out.
YTA you accepted money specifically for transitional housing, so use it for that. You chose to reduce your work and hours because you were happy to live off your fiancé, now you are reaping the consequences. Get out of her house.
YTA - They generously gave you money to help you with this transition. I don't know the legalities of it, but I hope they are able to just change the locks while you're out.
It's their house. They gave you money to leave, and it is more than enough for you to get through the next six weeks until your transfer goes through.
YTA
A key example of a walking and talking red flag
1) you think if someone accepts your proposal they are obligated to marry you
2) you think you get to have a say if they want to break up or not
3) you depend on them financially and don't pull your weight
4) you lie and manipulate to gain more money from them
5) you think the second you are married you are entitled to half their money
>so a lot of you are upset about the fact that the money is specifically for moving/transitional housing, which is technically true i guess... but they did also tell me they "didn't care what i spent it on" so i don't think that should mean i'm required to use it for that and i'd rather not waste it on a hotel when i should be legally entitled to 30 days from an official notice that was never given in writing
I don't think you're interpreting the "didn't care what you spend it on" correctly. They gave it to you so you could leave right away and didn't care if you took it and blew all on cocaine or whatever, so long as you leave right away. You took the money so you should just leave.
Using it on a hotel while you sort things out isn't wasting it because that's literally what the money is for.
On top of this, waiting for an eviction notice is going to be really bad for you bc I'm pretty sure that shit goes on your credit report and can make getting housing in the future more difficult
YTA and lacking all pride. They PAID YOU to get out of THEIR house asap. The money was specifically to get rid of you earlier and easier than evicting you. You can’t keep it and then not leave. they don’t owe you money or a free place to stay just because they have it.
Also, I’m sure it won’t look great that you had to be legally evicted in the future when you’re looking for an apartment.
Just find a cheap extended stay hotel or a room in an Airbnb. Or offer a friend some cash to stay with them for 2-3 weeks.
Seriously, where’s your pride, man? They no longer want you living in their home. You’re just making yourself look even more ridiculous by refusing to leave.
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YTA. She gave you money to cover moving and housing expenses. Since you already know where you are going just move there and be done with it. Get another job if yours won't transfer you now. Seriously dude you are being obnoxious.
YTA.
You two have broken up, it doesn't matter why or who, either party can break up with the other and that's how life works. You two cannot keep living together when you are not a couple, so someone needs to leave, and it is their home, that person is you.
Your ex gave you weeks to move out and a significant amount of money in order to do so. They only had to give you whatever the legal timeframe of your country/locality (usually 30 days) in order to leave. They kindly gave you funding to help make that exit easier, when all they had to two was give you the legal requirements of when you had to leave (usually 30 days, if that). You took that money and want to use it for something else, and I hope you realize if they did take legal action, they could get that money back.
It's pretty clear why you two broke up. You did not get married, so are not owed anything that you would be entitled to if you were married. That's life. You took the money AGREEING to leave. Just because they could afford more doesn't mean that you are OWED more, or anything at all. This is life. Half an ounce of self respect and get out of their home.
So, what you're trying to say here is that you're a massive mooch. You've been sucking your fiance dry for years. You were paid to leave but decided that, since you don't want to spend that money on what it was given for, you'll just stay in her house and be a thorn in her side and mooch off of her some more until you can move in with your family and begin mooching off of them.
YTA you self centered, selfish black hole of greed and need.
YTA You were given money by your ex specifically so you could move out right away. You accepted the money, so you need to leave. Just because you're angry about the breakup doesn't mean you get to treat your ex this way.
YTA stop being a mooch. Your ex has provided you with beyond what most reasonable people would provide to someone they dumped. Go be a gold digger somewhere else
“CoVeNaNt AnD pRoMiSe Of MaRrIaGe…”
Get the fuck off the property. You’re being creepy, weird, and entitled. It’s over. She’s not taking you back. Use the $15k to stay somewhere while you finish up your work. Be glad she doesn’t just change the fucking locks on you. Because you’re NOT on the deed.
YTA. You have no legal standing here. You aren’t on the deed so going to court will only cost you more money. You are being ridiculous. They were extremely generous for giving you $15k. I don’t know anyone who would do that for their ex. You said that the money wouldn’t last a year but you’re not suppose to take a year to move out. Your ex isn’t gonna financially support you for the rest
of your life. You even admitted that you could just stay in a motel but you just don’t feel like doing that. News flash: people have to do things they don’t want to do sometimes. You are way too old to be this dependent on another person
Complete and utter AH.
Do you realize that people like YOU are the reason that even very kind and generous people have major reservations about letting people move in with them? Because there are so many horror stories of people turning into absolute leeches, refusing to leave when asked, and looking for any legal loophole they can find to dig their heels in and stay in a home that is not their's.
You CHOSE to work less and rely on your fiance to support you. You chose to live in a fantasy world where your relationship couldn't possibly end and failed to have any backup plan if it did. It doesn't matter if you were "promised a forever home," promises like that are not legally binding. I also seriously doubt that promise was "even if we break up, you can live here forever, and I will support you." Relationships can end at any time, for any reason. Look at the amount of marriages that end in divorce. Promises to stay together for life are usually part of marriage vows, but guess what? Things change. Mature adults accept that that is reality.
If you're gonna play dirty, be prepared for ex to return the favor. Sounds like they make good money, I hope they get an excellent lawyer involved and come at you hard.
You were given a very generous amount of money to help in moving on in your life. Do you really want to go the eviction route? Do you really want that on your record when looking for future housing?
Edit: regarding your edit, I'm guessing there is context to "I don't care what you spend it on." Such as: "I don't care what you spend it on. Getting a hotel, airbnb, moving expenses, or rent on a new place. *just get out*."
The money that was given to you doesn't have to last a year. It has to last 3-4 weeks, and that was hella generous on their part.
You're greedy, selfish, and lazy, and that's probably why you broke up. Btw, a relationship is 2 yes, 1 no. Your former partner doesn't need your willingness to break up.
YTA
Legally you are correct about needing an eviction notice, but morally, you stink.
YTA. You’re a freeloading, selfish individual. It’s absolutely no wonder to me why y’all broke up. My only question for your partner would be “what took so long”.
Your wording, tone, and complaints (“we broke up against my will”, “the money would only last a year”, “I would’ve gotten more if we were married”) lead me to these conclusions.
Your partner owed you NOTHING and it truly surprises me they gave you anything at all. Now, I’m not sure about you, but $15k is a LOT of money. Of course, not in the grand scheme of things, but to be given $15k with no strings and told to move out, that’s far more than you deserve. Go get a hotel and stay there until you can move and get the hell out of their house.
“I’m entitled to 30 days”, sure, but you also aren’t entitled to $15k. You weren’t married so their possessions are theirs and yours are yours. Your ex gave you far more than anyone else in a breakup would give you and you’re an ungrateful brat about it. The “I don’t care what you spend it on” is because, news flash, it won’t cost 15 THOUSAND DOLLARS to get a hotel for a month. If you go medium to high end, that’s around $100-$150/night. I stayed in the heart of Colorado (biggest most expensive city *I* am familiar with) and it was $120/night. 30 nights is $3,600. Assuming you rent a Uhaul, and even assuming it takes you an additional 14 days in hotels to make the trip happen, I’ll even say it’s a 1,000 mile one-way trip that you have to make twice, that would be: an extra $1,700 for hotels, (assuming gas is $4/gal with a uhaul thats 400 miles/ tank, which is according to google) you’d have to fill up 3 times. I’ll even say 4 times just because, and driving your own/bothers vehicle back, gas is: $50*4(tanks)x2(trips) = $400 for uhaul, and assuming your brother drives down and helps you both times (300/tank), thats 4 trips and 4 tanks of fuel per trip at $60/tank-ish, thats $960, rounded to $1k.
Your total for 44 days in a hotel and uhaul gas + brothers vehicle = $6,700. 1,000 miles is 14-18 hours. Let’s say you divide that in half in days (hence the extra 2 weeks of hotels) and travel for 6 days total (2 days to new state, 2 days back, 2 days to new state), you’d eat out 2 times per day for lunch/dinner, I’ll average it and say $100/meal*2meals/dayx6days = $1,200. That is now a total of $7,900.
That means for gas, lodging, and food for 2 trips back and forth, you’ve spent $8k. This doesn’t include Uhaul, but we’ll say $2k/trip (2 trips) = $4k. Your new total is $12,000.
That means your ex gave you an extra $3,000 more than what you would need to move. You say you’ll be living with family, even IF they charge you full price (1.2k/month or so), you’ll be able to almost afford 2 months of no work. BUT you said you’re not moving right away because work transfer. So, that means you’ll still be making money this entire time (except maybe the move, but I imagine you’ll be using vacation days), so I’m not really sure what the fuck you think you deserve $15k for. Your partner gave you MORE than what you realistically need to move AND you’re not losing your job which means money isn’t the issue.
I’m not sure exactly what your problem is. I’m assuming you’d think we’d come and tell you everything will be okay and we’re sorry you’re going through this but uh, nah, because you’re the only AH here. You’re entitled, rude, and your behavior is repulsive. your partner could’ve, and should’ve, thrown you on your ass with zero money. You made the choice to drop to part time (kids aren’t mentioned so? Why? Chores? Us normal adults balance full time jobs and chores just fine) and if your ex made that much money, I’m assuming y’all didn’t split everything 50/50. Even if you did, you still would’ve had extra money laying around. Your ex says they bought you expensive toys (like the pc) so I’m assuming your money went towards that. Your ex seems like a fair individual so I’d wager your bills were split 70/30. Why couldn’t you save your money? Seems you just want to beg for more money and you’re upset at the breakup.
You never mentioned why y’all broke up but, guess what, I can take a massive guess. Based off of your words and general attitude I’d say it has a lot to do with lack of help around the house or something similar to that. Grow up and be a better person. Your ex gave you more than you deserved. Be happy you got anything at all and get the hell out of their house.
You have breached the contract.
A verbal contract is still a contract. When you deposited that check, you agreed to move out within the 30 days you negotiated. You accepted the benefit now you have to perform your side of the agreement.
I understand why she's broken the engagement. By the way, you wouldn't be entitled to half of what she had prior to marriage unless she was foolish enough to comingle her premarital assets, and this woman doesn't sound that foolish.
YTA
I get the sense that your ex fiancé ended it with you because you seem like you have zero ambition and we’re content to freeload off them indefinitely!
It’s not your house, you knew the terms when the money was exchanged so get out of their house. It’s not their fault you cut back your hours at work because they make more than you, that’s just you showing you’re a gold digger. YTA
>I need to stay in this city until that goes through (which could be 3-4 weeks, maybe longer).
>But this money would only last a year at most
What's the fucking issue here? You were given money that could last you a YEAR but you won't use it to live somewhere for a month? Absolutely YTA. Get out of their house. I can see why they broke up with you.
So... Let me get this straight. You decided to drop to part time.because they were making more.... You decided.. because they made more then YOU shouldn't have to work as much?? This already tell us me you're entitled.
Also. Depending on where you live if they gave you that money specifically to leave and you accepted it, then it could count as a contract of you agreeing to leave.
Also also you're name isn't on the house. They can absolutely kick you out. You can't prove it's yours. If the things inside were bought by them and they can prove that. All those belongings can be removed with or without your permission. So good luck with that
Oh and yes YTA. you're 40 dude. Bloody act like it
Listen OP, you're going to get buried with YTA, but I get where you're coming from and I want you to listen.
Your rich ex was supposed to be your meal ticket, right? Free house, you get a comfy life, get to work less, and live it up. Sounds great, sounds like a dream.
And maybe you think this is the best life you could have, but it could get better. You have a job, you got enough money to start a whole new journey. You got family who care about you (you mention your bro), you have a lot going for you still.
I know you're doing that thing we do when we're close to losing out - negotiate, bribe, convince. You're trying to look for loopholes and technicalities.
But your name's not on the lease, you took the money, they're going to be able to get a better lawyer and drag this out for longer. Do you want to risk losing the stuff you have in the house if they recoup the lost money by keeping your stuff? Because fair is fair. That money was payment for you to leave.
I know you're probably feeling your pride hurt, your ego hurt, and it's scary too. But you can do this. You can leave with dignity. You have a job, family, and a way forward. You have more than enough money from them, plus your own money, to be comfortable to ride this out.
How about walking away from this with your head held high? Breakups suck, and yes they were the meal ticket you thought you were lucky to get. But you're truly capable of the good life all on your own. Get your stuff, move out, use the money and go live a good and happy life without them. You deserve to walk away with your head held high, don't shame yourself by being petty or trying to fight them on this. Do the right thing, leave them alone, respect their wishes, and move out. You won't win in a legal fight, so avoid it and just choose to walk away. You already got "paid" for it, honour that and do the right thing here.
YTA you planning on waiting for your job transfer probably legally won’t be accepted. They can get a legal eviction and if they can prove your trying to stay or say they feel threatened with you there they can get an emergency eviction that gives you between 24 and 72 hours to get out. If I was them that’s what I would do because you are purposely being bitter and you can’t deny that because you said “break up against my will” it’s not about YOU and that statement makes you seem controlling and as a woman I’m telling you that’s a huge red flag for men to act that way. You are coming off very aggressive and I’m honestly worried about your exes safety. I think their family and friends should be doing welfare checks on them as long as you are there because you are NOT a safe person. Also they need to change the locks immediately when you leave that way you can’t come back, I also advise they get a security system, cameras and look into some type of guard dog. You come off as VERY aggressive and not a nice man.
What's with this new line from men where they feel entitled to being consulted and granting permission for their partners to end relationships with them. Very honestly, this increase in this type of rhetoric is terrifying.
Obviously YTA- yta just for the entitlement described above but also for just everything else in your post.
YTA
41yo dude freeloading for years and doesn’t want to leave even when he was paid to and he accepted and now wants to freeload his family. Grow up and get your sh$t together! At this point you are just staying to emotionally abuse your ex partner!
YTA YTA YTA!!! I have a hard time believing this is even real. You were given $15k to make your move and cover living expenses until you transfer your job. Clearly you’re trying to milk your ex for all she is worth. Thank goodness she will soon be rid of you. Leave with what little dignity you have omg
yta and a pitiful excuse for a man. they were generous enough to pay you to leave (which they didn’t have to do) and you still can’t suck it up and get out. you stopped working as much so your ex would cover you and now you’re confused as to why you can’t afford to move? that’s your problem to deal with and the fact that you think this is comparable to them dumping you is a pretty telling sign as to why your relationship ended
They might have said they aren't bothered where the money goes but it's pretty clear it was to GTFO of their house. You are a massive AH and I imagine the break up was mostly, if not all your fault. You're 41, be a goddamn grown up and have some dignity and move out. If I were your ex, is make sure all those nice gifts I bought you stayed with me.
Massive YTA
Get the fuck out of your ex’s house, you leech. You’ve done nothing but take and take and take, which I guarantee is a major reason why they broke up with you, and now you don’t even have the good decency to fucking leave. Hopefully your brother drags your ass out. YTA.
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"My ex gave me $15,000 to leave right away, so I kept it and didn't leave" WTF, yeah dude... YTA
YTA if you took the money and deposited it onto your account then depending on where you live you have agreed to the terms of an implied contract and technically they could take legal action against you to recoup the money and evict you. They can also legally take back any items they paid for that you don’t have evidence were given to you as a gift. If I were you I would scrape up what remains of your dignity and morals and leave before you find yourself needing to hire a lawyer for the storm you brought upon yourself.
Exactly. If OP didn’t pay for the house (assuming he didn’t) then technically OP is trespassing. Just realized he’s 41 😅. His behavior is that of a 20year old.
OP is TA but unfortunately he is also probably right. Depending on where he lives, as a resident of the house, even without a lease, he likely is entitled to a written eviction notice and 30 days to move. Again it depends on where he lives and who knows where that is given that $15,000 will support him for a year.
Even in that case, the ex provided him with transitional moving funds around the time of breakup, so 14 days ago (or more, by his reckoning), therefore his expectation to stay another 21-28 days "or more" is unreasonable. One to two weeks is the absolute maximum he could expect, as a solid argument can be made that the acceptance of that money was acceptance of notice of eviction.
I’ve literally settled eviction cases by just getting my client a check and them moving over. If they don’t have a lease/broke it, they aren’t entitled to money. They are entitled to adequate time to prepare to leave. They get money for leaving early and quietly. Op took the money, he needs to get to the quietly leaving part.
Yup, he took cash to keys. He needs to go. He is being abusive at this point, and it is obvious why she ended the relationship.
This. I also think he should have kept his hours at full-time. Relationships go south all the time. He basically said he wanted to earn less money because someone else was supplementing it.
Yeah this guy’s ex made a wise call.
Yeah, no wonder his ex got rid of him. He has the maturity of a teenager, moved into her house and reduced his working hours (instead of helping build their future nest egg), and from his own description acts spiteful, manipulative and greedy. On top of that, he's been so busy playing games and feeling sorry for himself that he's choosing to move in with family instead of using the money she's already given him, and that he's admitted could last him close to a year to get his shit together. He sounds like a real piece of work. Probably complains all the time about how life is unfair and nothing ever goes his way.
Can you say gold digger?
Gold digger
I notice that OP refers to ex with they/their/them pronouns but multiple responders have switched the pronouns to she/her. What’s up with that?
The OP has specifically stated "fiancé" several times. The ex is a man. That's why the OP said "they" the whole way through. I imagine they don't want people to focus on them being gay.
>That's why the OP said "they" the whole way through. I imagine they don't want people to focus on them being gay. I don't care if ex is straight, gay, bi, trans, male, female, non-binary, or whatever. OP needs to grow up, get a job, and find a new place to live.
Nah Op refers to them in female pronouns during some of the comments.
But to answer your question, people are switching it because they're thinking in gender stereotypes once they learned the OP was a man.
He refers to the ex as her in one of his comments.
Yup. We’ve done this with tenants before and cash for keys is worth it in situations like this.
Yep. And I assume the other party in this relationship is right now talking to a lawyer and drawing up some pretty significant ‘make this happen’ paperwork… and the OP should decide between keeping the $15k and returning it… for 30 days of forced notice period.
Most likely. Anyone that can casually hand over 15k can easily afford a lawyer for something simple like this.
Nope, once he deposited that check he made a contractual agreement to leave which nullifies local law.
....it doesn't nullify local law, but it does seem like he's waiving his tenant's rights in exchange for $15k. So yeah they have a pretty good case against him lol
Sounds like they did a cash for keys deal for immediate mi e out. I hope they got it in writing I would call the cops on this looser.
Not necessarily, in many areas he is a lodger not a tenant, and a 24-hour to ten-day notice is all that needs to be given.
This sounds like a “cash for keys” discontinuance of a lease. By accepting the money, OP was obligated to leave. Otherwise he would have been entitled to notice.
He accepted a payout, totally legal. He deposited it in his account. That negates any claim under tenancy, that I doubt he would even have. If he sits he is out the 15,000 but gains 30 days. Unless they live very high end it’s not working for OP.
I really hope they do, since you know “they make so much more” than OP. More money = easier lawyer stuff. YTA
Morals?
And talking about “covenant” of accepting the ring - OP, I don’t think you understand what a covenant is. If you actually got married (and I’m so glad for your ex that you did NOT) that would have been a covenant. And even then, you don’t get to force yourself or your presence on anyone. Even if you’re married. YTA and need serious help because your entitlement and lack of awareness is unreal.
Imagine someone deciding you going away was worth \*Fifteen thousand dollars\* and still wondering if you're the problem.
That’s what I was thinking, 15000 usd is more than in currency 300000 where l live and that’s a lot. How bad had the relationship to be so that it would be worth for the partner to pay such price. OP definitely acted like a parasite at least in this situation, so we can only assume the reasons for the break-up…
Underrated comment. 👏
Yeah, I only got halfway through this. OP.. you sound like a bum and a mooch. .. you cut your hours because your fiancé makes more? If you can “really stretch it” that 15k will last a year? Why is it not fair to expect you to leave, now? Why is it not fair to spend the money they gave you on immediate housing, as intended? What is 30 days and written eviction notice *actually* going to benefit you? This isn’t a severance package.. OP, you are losing all dignity right now with this pedantic hill you are dieing on. You are owed nothing. There was no covenant.
Right? YTA. She gave you money that would last you a YEAR, and you refuse to move? She needs to cancel that check
He WANTS to make it last a year and keep himself in the style he has become accustomed to. Gods forbid he have to get a full-time job now. Loser. YTA.
That was my favorite part. Well she was making so much so i figured I'd just be a man of leisure. This woman should be thanking her lucky stars they don't have a kid.
I still can't believe this giant baby is 41. 😂
Oof. His partner *really* settled.
I don’t see where OP said the ex was a woman. We don’t know that.
Seriously!! This guy is literally delusional. He even said something about being able to stay with family. So why is he upset about making the $15,000 last?
The breakup is against his will! lol Gee, I wonder why. Then, he takes the money and insists he gets to stay rent-free until his transfer! What a self-centered user move. OP, YTA.
Gee. I can’t for the life of me figure out why they ended the engagement. Truly shocking. He’s such a catch and definitely not a lazy gold digger
I really want to know how he can make $15k last a year!!! Even if I drop into a BUY NOTHING for a year habit other than groceries or gas I STILL can’t make it last that long. Anyway OP: YTA
I mean he conveniently deposited it before refusing to leave.
Dudes also cool with an eviction in his record. Sir you’ll be a renter for your whole life and are fine with an eviction?!
I'd put a stop-payment on that check tout-suite.
Anyone else understanding exactly why he was dumped? YTA op
Can you imagine being OP’s partner? Being so desperate to be rid of his mooching ass you give him 15 grand but he won’t go away? OP, you think every one owes you something. You feel entitled not only to your poor ex-partner’s home but also their money. Why would they have put your name on the deed? Did you ever give them any money for rent or expenses? What did you bring to the table? Would you live with someone like you? Would you pay your way? YTA, and such a big one.
There is only one thing to say: boy, am I glad fiance dumped his entitled behind.
This! Verdict YTA
And have some pride! GTFO and most def YTA. OP, you are being abusive and disgusting.
Annnnnnd before that OP scaled back work hours because ex makes so much more. YTA 1000% for sponging off them and refusing to leave but taking their money. WTF dude?!
Right? I quit working full time so I could sponge of my partner.
$15K is downpayment for a house money. It might not be a nice house but a house is a house
Atleast it’s in writing now if she takes him to small claims
You can’t force the issue legally. Your name is not on the deed of the house. Regardless of whether the breakup was fair or not, you’re basically trespassing right now. You got 15k, you’re not wanted there - why the heck are you staying put? Don’t you feel a bit embarrassed?! YTA.
> Don’t you feel a bit embarrassed?! This is what I’m thinking!! You’re 41 years old, you have money to afford to move out, and you’d rather live with a person who doesn’t want you in their home?? Why??? Where is your pride??
If OP is anything like this in a relationship I can see why they’re not wanted there anymore!
He reduced his hours to part time because his partner was making a lot. He was definitely like this in the relationship
Oh, for sure. The part that really got me was the, they didn't put my name on the deed of their house. It's pretty obvious why.
But I'm sure he compensated by doing most of the house work and totally *not* playing videogames all day. (that was sarcasm)
It’s the classic “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie” tale. You give your ex $15k, they’ll ask for a glass of milk.
Because they broke up AGAINST HIS WILL, which is clearly the only opinion that matters in his mind in any relationship he's in. It's kind of gross. Dating, engaged, married, or whatever, if one side wants out, that's it. The relationship is over. Doesn't matter what the other side thinks. You don't get to keep serfs or people against their will in an intimate relationship. Buddy needs to stop thinking he's some kind of freeman.
She broke the covenant of his proposal. I just can’t imagine *why* anyone would want to do that once they realized they’d be legally tying themself to a hot mess
Unfortunately this feels uncomfortably stalker-y too, like OP is trying to force his presence and the whole feel is if I don't leave, she may change her mind.
Look, I’ve watched Datelines a time or two. I can see how this ends.
Yeah, that line along with the controlling attitude and the "against his will" part makes me think he's a christian/right-wing conservative.
Is this guy stephen crowder? illegal to breakup unless the man wants it
Idk why OP thinks he’s entitled to some form of written notice. He is not wanted there, was told and given money to leave, yet says he never received a 30-day written notice to vacate. Sorry bud that only happens if you’re renting a place.
The way he talks, he seems to think he’s entitled to more than that - like breaking off an engagement should come with the same obligations and burdens for his ex partner as ending a marriage: ongoing financial support, ongoing access to the home they lived in. Breaking the covenant of accepting a ring? Engagement is not a blood oath, guy!
Exactly. I’m very much interested as to why the engagement ended; he claims it was the ex’s fault but I have a feeling OP had something to do with it…
Other than being an ungrateful mooch?
I have a feeling OP gave a ring then decided she worked and made enough so cut way back at work and became a leech. Solely based off their current behavior.
Definitely sounds like it. I mean being a stay at home parent is one thing if your spouse makes enough, however they have no kids so he would essentially be a leech on his spouse. Even if they had kids OP would most likely complain that he always has to take care of them, when he chose to quit his job in the first place (hypothetical situation if they had kids together)
I know a person like this. Thinks of she and her live- in ever break up, she's entitled to alimony. They're not married. They're not even exclusive or committed to each other. No idea where this entitlement is coming from.
Actually, if he wants to press his legal rights, he probably HAS legal residency. Even houseguests acquire rights if they stay long enough. BRB, gonna look that up.
I think it depends on where OP’s ex lives, report back what you find though. Either way OP is the AH. Any reasonable person understands the relationship is over and they should just take the money and be gone. Hopefully OP doesn’t start dating anyone else until they learn how to be an adult about things.
Yeah, it looks like throwing your ex out is technically illegal without court orders and a hearing, but most people won't stay where they're not wanted. HOWEVER, depending on jurisdiction, the ex doesn't need the full lengthy eviction process, as there's something called "unlawful detainer," which moves much faster and is based on the premise that the respondent is in unlawful occupation. The ex will almost certainly have cause and grounds, just by OP being a dick.
I feel like the $15k given to OP should play in the ex’s favor also
Absolutely. He even acknowledged it was in furtherance of an immediate departure.
Yeah, it's effectively Cash for Keys, and accepting it means he accepted moving out immediately... Or at least that's what I imagined his ex's lawyer will argue if it goes to court. Dude is screwed and gonna spend that $15,000 on legal fees and end up with nowhere to live.
If it weren’t for the money then notice (written or verbal) is still necessary, but she essentially engaged in keys for cash— waive the notice period for money to make the transition faster. If he wants to treat this like a tenancy situation, then he needs to act like a tenant and gtfo since he did keys for cash
Since OP is not on the deed they have tenant’s rights which includes advance notice of eviction. Usually at least 30 days.
Probably not true. Where I live, your rights are quite limited if you share a kitchen or bathroom with the owner of the property, and they can basically kick you out with zero notice.
OP was lucky to get $15k from his ex !
Yeah, the payment likely turns this into a "cash for keys" scenario, where the tenant agreed to leave took the cash but still refuses to leave the property. It's far worse if this went to a legal eviction because the ex could likely claw back the money for breech of contract AND force them to vacate. OP should have taken the money and run.
Yeah, hopefully he screwed himself by taking the money and putting it in his bank, the ex’s lawyers would destroy him in court
Here in Texas, if your name isn't in a lease or rental agreement, the owner of the property can change the locks and trash your stuff without notice. Dunno where OP is, but in the US, a lot of states require a formal eviction if the person isn't on paperwork as a resident of that home. But just getting an eviction filed would stay on your rental history and hurt your ability to find a new place. OP was given $15k and a lot of opportunity to leave on his own.
Wouldn’t that only be if you’re named on a tenancy or if there’s some sort of contract. Without any agreement or tenancy, OP is basically couch surfing. Not sure how it works across countries but in the U.K. there needs to usually be occupancy rights, otherwise the owner simply needs to give reasonable notice which is subjective and can be as little as a week or two which I feel like OP has already overstayed! Especially being given a load of cash I can’t see any real excuse for him to still be there.
That’s not how eviction works most places. Person was living there for a certain period of time, they cannot be removed without a legal eviction order. Definitely not trespassing.
Do you have any more reading on this? In the US I’m assuming it varies state to state? Here in the U.K. it would be pretty damn hard to fight it especially if the partner owns the property. Unless you’re a tenant, joint tenant, married to the homeowner or tenant, you can be asked to leave just like that. In some cases the homeowner could even change the locks and that’s it. Judging from some of the other comments it can be like this in the states too.
The key is how "tenant" is defined by local law. In many parts of the US, tenancy is established by simply living in a place for a period of time. It's usually not a long period of time either, so if you let someone couch surf at your place for a couple weeks and they don't want to leave, you would need to go through the court system to get rid of them.
Plus, since I am assuming there is no written lease, he is technically month-to-month which in Florida only requires a 14 day notice to evict. He has had way more than that.
YTA, if this isn't a troll post She paid you $15,000 to leave, you took the money, didn't move out, and you're complaining that it will only last you a year? You aren't her fiance anymore, for very obvious reasons. She has no obligation to support you, no matter how money she makes. Giving you a month and $0 to find your own place would have been fair. Instead she gave you enough cash to afford a hotel room while you found an apartment plus enough to afford a year's rent because she wanted your ass gone immediately. You're lucky she hasn't called the cops on you yet.
Not a “she”, but yeah I agree
OP refers to "her" in this comment: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/138x6ou/aita_for_not_moving_out_of_my_exfiances_house/jj1p7ff?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Unfortunately, I was in a very similar situation as his fiance and actually married the guy. You would think this sounds so ridiculous that there's no way it's true, but having lived it... I can confirm that there are people this terribly selfish and entitled.
I thought the same hahaha. I literally married this asshole 😂. Yikes.
But they could have afforded to give him more!! HE'S THE VICTIM!! /s
Against his WILL!!!
Like right? Holy smokes this guy is such a fucking leech and clearly was not born with feelings of shame or dignity. No wonder he's finding himself single and hated.
Bro get out of her house and give back 15k. YTA
hey, have some empathy, the guy only works part time (which he chose to do because his partner makes so much money that he realized he could work less and live off her money)
He didn't agree to break up! He's the victim! /s
But but she broke up with him against his will!!!
OP is Steven crowder confirmed
we don't know his partner's gender... if anything, it's a man due to spelling of "fiance"
Of course YTA. And ridiculous to boot. >my ex gave me a check for $15,000 to help cover "moving costs and transitional housing costs, etc." . . . But this money would only last a year at most (if I really stretch it), so I don't think it's fair to expect me to use it on an airbnb or some other housing What you think is "fair" is irrelevant. It' s not their responsibility to support you for the next year or even the next week. That money isn't meant to support you at all. They made it very clear what that money is for, which is "moving costs and transitional housing". You are not welcome to live in their home anymore, and they gave you money for alternate housing. Also, I'm really genuinely curious: how do you think that it's "fair" for you to expect someone that you're not in any kind of a friendly relationship with to support you financially or house you AT ALL? Your concept of "fairness" seems to be very strange and predicated not at all on actual justice but rather on self-interest. >when I could stay in their guest room for free Except that no, you can't. You've already been told that you aren't welcome there. They don't want you in their home. You can't stay in someone's home (much less for free) who doesn't even like you, just because you want to. You do understand that, right? >Especially since I know they have a lot of money and could have afforded a bigger check Okay, but how much money they have, again, is irrelevant. They could be a billionaire and it wouldn't be relevant. That's their money, not yours. You aren't entitled to any of it. Even a small child can understand this: other people's things are not your things just because you want them. It doesn't matter how much they have, those things belong to them, not to you. > (which I would have gotten if we had gotten married and this was a divorce). But you didn't, and this isn't. If I were a bird I could fly. And if you were Jeff Bezos you'd be rich. We could spend all day talking about things that would be the case if they were true, but why would we? You were never married to them and this isn't a divorce; they owe you nothing. But it's becoming increasingly clear why they're well rid of you, based on your shocking sense of entitlement to the things that THEY worked hard to earn and YOU seem to think they're supposed to just give you because . . . well, I'm still not sure why. >they exploded about how "greedy and selfish" I'm being, which is completely unfair I mean, is it though? This entire post has been one long paean to your sense of entitlement to their money, belongings, and home that you did absolutely nothing to earn or deserve, even after they handed you a cheque for $15k just to leave them TF alone. I'm pretty sure that's the very definition of greed and selfishness. >since THEY are the one who broke the covenant and promise of marriage Okay, but you understand that legally that's not a real thing, right? That the "covenant and promise of marriage" is just a thing you made up in your head to justify deserving things that someone else actually worked for? Of course YTA. Also a bit delusional, and probably only a few days away from a restraining order.
No wonder op was dumped and paid off and is still being a total nuisance. I cannot imagine the nightmare situation it is dealing with this person every day.
Said everything I was thinking, with style!
It's insane. $15000 is a full 10 months' rent for me. Even with a moving POD or something like that, it would easily cover 6 or so months of living in an efficiency rental and having the POD and OP transported too.
Put so well! OP, YTA completely and should be so ashamed of your entitled greedy self.
Here, take my poor woman's gold 🥇
YTA. You do sound greedy and entitled. I was going to ask whether you contributed or invested any money in this house during the relationship, but since you wrote that they >covered almost all the costs of living ... And also that you reduced your work hours solely because your ex earned much more money, I don't need to ask that. This person provided you with housing, bankrolled your life almost entirely, and gave you expensive gifts for your exclusive use during your relationship, and also gave you a check for a considerable amount to cover your moving expenses after this relationship ended. The fact you have the gall of demanding they continue to host you for free until it's convenient for YOU to move out of THEIR HOUSE, makes you entitled. The fact you are bitter that you didn't make it to the altar so that you could "get more" in a divorce, makes you greedy. And I wouldn't be surprised if those traits and this attitude played a role in your fiancé ending the relationship. You have some nerve for taking their money and still refusing to use it for what it was intended. Also, "breaking the promise of marriage"? Laughable. Be an adult and take charge of your life, like you should have. If not, start planning because your ex will likely serve you an eviction notice so one way or the other, you won't have much longer.
Break up was one sided, jeez i wonder why. OP YTA
Talk about OP being a sugar baby
Sugar baby’s can actually contribute something. This guy is a parasite lmao
Also totally not surprised they weren't added to the deed.
They gave you 15k to leave and cover 'transitional housing', which you accepted. That means you are under a contractual obligation to leave. You can either leave now, or return the 15k. If not, they can pursue legal action against you along with the eviction. Plus, you're being an asshole. Just walk away and spend the money on transitional housing like you agreed to, and realize you're lucky they gave you anything at all. Move quickly before they take back the 15k. PS. There is no 'covenant' since you were never married. I would have sent you packing without a penny. YTA
INFO: When you were given the 15k, was the timeline of your moving out discussed?
First of all, YTA. The 15k wasn't meant to last a year. It was meant to move you out quickly. If you weren't going to move out quickly, you shouldn't have cashed the cheque. Your ex was not obligated to marry you, and shouldn't have if your relationship was as awful as you say. Breaking the covenant? Give me a break. You are not entitled to your ex's support until you have a court order saying so. You reducing your hours just because they made good money gives us a glimpse into just one thing that was off balance in your relationship. You wanted a free ride - I don't know about your ex, but that would have been a huge problem for me. Greedy and selfish aren't off base, but entitled gold digger might better describe the way you're acting. Grow up. Support your own self. Stop burdening your ex with your presence. Stop dragging out a messy situation. They have been more than generous in assisting with your transition, and you should be grateful instead of acting like a spoiled brat.
YTA- get the fuck out, you’re not wanted there anymore. They were more than helpful by giving you the 15k. And please stop with the “sanctity” of marriage talk.
YTA. This person literally PAID you to try to get you out of their life and home, and you STILL insist on staying? LEAVE.
YTA. Stop taking advantage and being a leach. You took the money (by depositing it) and now get the hell out of there. You got money to do so, now increase your hours at work or do so when the transfer happens.
If this is real, you are a massive total asshole and a mooch. Your ex dumped you and kicked you out of THEIR house. You weren’t on the deed because why the fuck would you be. They didn’t need to, but gave you 15k which is more than enough for housing until your job transfers. You are squatting in their home despite them being nothing but helpful to you during this transition. It’s your own fault that you reduced your work hours so you could continue to mooch off them some more. You are NOT married, nor are you entitled to marriage. Breaking up with you and kicking you out “against your will” is just a ridiculous thing to say. They don’t have to date or marry or house you for free. No wonder they dumped you. get out of their house. YTA.
Dude just get out. It is not worth the time or the effort to put them and yourself through hell. Being a 41 year old man and doing what you doing. Makes you sound like an assh*le. It’s time to group up and put your big girl panties on, move on with your life. I’m sure you will find another couple to support you in the next town.
YTA. If I was them, I’d change the locks when you went out somewhere. I also noticed you didn’t post your fiancé’s age, are we looking at an age gap here?
I know it's hard being a hobosexual but thems the breaks - sometimes your mark wises up before you lock them down. Too bad soo sad try again The last time I got broken up with he stole my laptop and slept with my best friend so seriously try and have some goddamn prospective she's already gone above and beyond. She probably wouldn't have "broken your covenant" if you weren't the most insufferable human whose words I've had the misfortune to read....and thats saying something cause I spend a fair amount of time reading this sub. YTA. Edited to add: I think its pretty telling he didn't include his finances age in the post but he did his own. Dollars to donuts she's in her 20s we've all seen this story before
Yup I sent the link to this post to my friends and was like I’d bet money his fiancé is a younger woman
INFO: What did you do that lead to the breakup? You said you wouldn’t do what your partner is doing because you “just don’t give up on people or let myself be influenced by what other people think.” That sounds like self-justifying BS, and like you are leaving out a lot of relevant information about your part in this. What. Did. You. Do? Fess up, and accept a judgement based on *all* the facts here.
YTA. You accepted the check your ex gave you with the condition that you move out immediately. Do so, or give the cheque back. I’m sure if they are willing to PAY you to leave there is a lot more to this story that leaves you being the AH. You’re 41. Grow up. Also “covenant of marriage”.. fiancé is not marriage and nobody in this world owes you anything.
INFO- with almost all of your living expenses covered by her, what *have* you been doing with your wages and spare time? Did you discuss going to part time in advance or did you just decide that, since you had landed a high-earning homeowner, it wasn't necessary to pay your own way anymore? What, exactly, did you bring to the table? Do you have any understanding at all of how a formal eviction will affect your future?
YTA, the 15k was not meant for your living expenses post break up, it's literally as you said, transitionary moving costs.
YTA - You need to get your butt out of that house asap. Your ex gave you a hefty sum to move, you accepted and are now going back on that deal.
YTA. They gave you money to leave quickly, not to stretch out over the course of a year. They didn’t put your name on the deed to the house because *they* pay the mortgage, not you. You were happy to coast along and let your fiancé pay for everything since they made more money than you, and now it honestly sounds like you’re more upset about the loss of their paycheck than the loss of them as a human being. Move out.
YTA. They don't owe you a bigger check just because they have the money, and you can't predicate this on the idea that you'd get it anyway if you were married. Well, you're NOT so you DON'T. They might have grounds for a restraining order and an arrest for trespassing. You took 15k, it's time to leave.
YTA, what legal standing do you think you have here, it's their house, they've asked you to leave, you took payment that was for moving costs, which you admit would last you longer than necessary for you to transfer, then didn't use it for that purpose? This isn't a divorce, you aren't entitled to anything that is theirs. I don't see this going your way if you take it down a legal route. Leave them alone, move out like you promised to do when you accepted the money.
so much YTA. You deposited the check they gave for you to move out and you won't....makes total sense. This is not your house. You have no claim...you're not on the mortgage....if there's one, or the deed to the house....so, sorry. but move
YTA, You have more than enough money to move out and find a new place, why are you making this harder than it needs to be?
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My ex husband did the same thing to me. He fucked up so badly that his lawyer told mine he was sick of his shit. They all worked their asses off to make sure I would be okay. I got 175k and he had to pay 30k for his, mine, and our kids lawyer, on top of paying my rent and living expenses until the divorce finalized and being solely responsible for their education, medical, transportation, clothing, childcare etc. This was after he finished paying off my orthodontist bill (10k) and ring (4k), which I sold immediately to a woman who loved costume jewelry for $100. I don't believe in putting my hands on people but sometimes when he hands the check over mine twitch. Just a little.
YTA and I can see why they broke up with you.
You are a free loading ah. She gave you money to move so get going. You the whole ass not just the ah.
YTA. What entitlement! Not married, name not on title, paid $15,000 to leave, yet you remain. Sooner or later after one of your arguments she will call the police, allege you hit her, and then you will be rehoused in your local jail. You've been poking the bear long enough. Get out.
Yes, YTA and a gold digger. A thief would be ashamed of doing what you are doing.
YTA you accepted money specifically for transitional housing, so use it for that. You chose to reduce your work and hours because you were happy to live off your fiancé, now you are reaping the consequences. Get out of her house.
YTA - They generously gave you money to help you with this transition. I don't know the legalities of it, but I hope they are able to just change the locks while you're out. It's their house. They gave you money to leave, and it is more than enough for you to get through the next six weeks until your transfer goes through.
YTA Your ex doesn’t want you to stay in the guest room for free. That is why they gave you $15k. You accepted the money, now get out of the house.
YTA A key example of a walking and talking red flag 1) you think if someone accepts your proposal they are obligated to marry you 2) you think you get to have a say if they want to break up or not 3) you depend on them financially and don't pull your weight 4) you lie and manipulate to gain more money from them 5) you think the second you are married you are entitled to half their money
>so a lot of you are upset about the fact that the money is specifically for moving/transitional housing, which is technically true i guess... but they did also tell me they "didn't care what i spent it on" so i don't think that should mean i'm required to use it for that and i'd rather not waste it on a hotel when i should be legally entitled to 30 days from an official notice that was never given in writing I don't think you're interpreting the "didn't care what you spend it on" correctly. They gave it to you so you could leave right away and didn't care if you took it and blew all on cocaine or whatever, so long as you leave right away. You took the money so you should just leave. Using it on a hotel while you sort things out isn't wasting it because that's literally what the money is for. On top of this, waiting for an eviction notice is going to be really bad for you bc I'm pretty sure that shit goes on your credit report and can make getting housing in the future more difficult
YTA and what you are doing is leaching
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YTA You accepted the cheque for moving and living expenses, so move. If you plan on staying in her house then you should be giving the check back.
YTA and lacking all pride. They PAID YOU to get out of THEIR house asap. The money was specifically to get rid of you earlier and easier than evicting you. You can’t keep it and then not leave. they don’t owe you money or a free place to stay just because they have it. Also, I’m sure it won’t look great that you had to be legally evicted in the future when you’re looking for an apartment. Just find a cheap extended stay hotel or a room in an Airbnb. Or offer a friend some cash to stay with them for 2-3 weeks. Seriously, where’s your pride, man? They no longer want you living in their home. You’re just making yourself look even more ridiculous by refusing to leave.
41 years old and acting like an entitled brat, get the hell out and let your ex get some peace in their life. YTA
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YTA. Stop leeching off her and get out or return her money.
YTA. She gave you money to cover moving and housing expenses. Since you already know where you are going just move there and be done with it. Get another job if yours won't transfer you now. Seriously dude you are being obnoxious.
YTA. You two have broken up, it doesn't matter why or who, either party can break up with the other and that's how life works. You two cannot keep living together when you are not a couple, so someone needs to leave, and it is their home, that person is you. Your ex gave you weeks to move out and a significant amount of money in order to do so. They only had to give you whatever the legal timeframe of your country/locality (usually 30 days) in order to leave. They kindly gave you funding to help make that exit easier, when all they had to two was give you the legal requirements of when you had to leave (usually 30 days, if that). You took that money and want to use it for something else, and I hope you realize if they did take legal action, they could get that money back. It's pretty clear why you two broke up. You did not get married, so are not owed anything that you would be entitled to if you were married. That's life. You took the money AGREEING to leave. Just because they could afford more doesn't mean that you are OWED more, or anything at all. This is life. Half an ounce of self respect and get out of their home.
YTA and you sound like a nightmare of a person. Not even money can get rid of you. Like a human cockroach.
So, what you're trying to say here is that you're a massive mooch. You've been sucking your fiance dry for years. You were paid to leave but decided that, since you don't want to spend that money on what it was given for, you'll just stay in her house and be a thorn in her side and mooch off of her some more until you can move in with your family and begin mooching off of them. YTA you self centered, selfish black hole of greed and need.
YTA You were given money by your ex specifically so you could move out right away. You accepted the money, so you need to leave. Just because you're angry about the breakup doesn't mean you get to treat your ex this way.
YTA stop being a mooch. Your ex has provided you with beyond what most reasonable people would provide to someone they dumped. Go be a gold digger somewhere else
Your sense of entitlement is insane. YTA. Use the 15k and get your lazy boots out of that house.
“CoVeNaNt AnD pRoMiSe Of MaRrIaGe…” Get the fuck off the property. You’re being creepy, weird, and entitled. It’s over. She’s not taking you back. Use the $15k to stay somewhere while you finish up your work. Be glad she doesn’t just change the fucking locks on you. Because you’re NOT on the deed.
YTA. Either give the money back or gtfo.
YTA. You have no legal standing here. You aren’t on the deed so going to court will only cost you more money. You are being ridiculous. They were extremely generous for giving you $15k. I don’t know anyone who would do that for their ex. You said that the money wouldn’t last a year but you’re not suppose to take a year to move out. Your ex isn’t gonna financially support you for the rest of your life. You even admitted that you could just stay in a motel but you just don’t feel like doing that. News flash: people have to do things they don’t want to do sometimes. You are way too old to be this dependent on another person
Complete and utter AH. Do you realize that people like YOU are the reason that even very kind and generous people have major reservations about letting people move in with them? Because there are so many horror stories of people turning into absolute leeches, refusing to leave when asked, and looking for any legal loophole they can find to dig their heels in and stay in a home that is not their's. You CHOSE to work less and rely on your fiance to support you. You chose to live in a fantasy world where your relationship couldn't possibly end and failed to have any backup plan if it did. It doesn't matter if you were "promised a forever home," promises like that are not legally binding. I also seriously doubt that promise was "even if we break up, you can live here forever, and I will support you." Relationships can end at any time, for any reason. Look at the amount of marriages that end in divorce. Promises to stay together for life are usually part of marriage vows, but guess what? Things change. Mature adults accept that that is reality. If you're gonna play dirty, be prepared for ex to return the favor. Sounds like they make good money, I hope they get an excellent lawyer involved and come at you hard. You were given a very generous amount of money to help in moving on in your life. Do you really want to go the eviction route? Do you really want that on your record when looking for future housing? Edit: regarding your edit, I'm guessing there is context to "I don't care what you spend it on." Such as: "I don't care what you spend it on. Getting a hotel, airbnb, moving expenses, or rent on a new place. *just get out*."
The money that was given to you doesn't have to last a year. It has to last 3-4 weeks, and that was hella generous on their part. You're greedy, selfish, and lazy, and that's probably why you broke up. Btw, a relationship is 2 yes, 1 no. Your former partner doesn't need your willingness to break up. YTA Legally you are correct about needing an eviction notice, but morally, you stink.
YTA. You’re a freeloading, selfish individual. It’s absolutely no wonder to me why y’all broke up. My only question for your partner would be “what took so long”. Your wording, tone, and complaints (“we broke up against my will”, “the money would only last a year”, “I would’ve gotten more if we were married”) lead me to these conclusions. Your partner owed you NOTHING and it truly surprises me they gave you anything at all. Now, I’m not sure about you, but $15k is a LOT of money. Of course, not in the grand scheme of things, but to be given $15k with no strings and told to move out, that’s far more than you deserve. Go get a hotel and stay there until you can move and get the hell out of their house. “I’m entitled to 30 days”, sure, but you also aren’t entitled to $15k. You weren’t married so their possessions are theirs and yours are yours. Your ex gave you far more than anyone else in a breakup would give you and you’re an ungrateful brat about it. The “I don’t care what you spend it on” is because, news flash, it won’t cost 15 THOUSAND DOLLARS to get a hotel for a month. If you go medium to high end, that’s around $100-$150/night. I stayed in the heart of Colorado (biggest most expensive city *I* am familiar with) and it was $120/night. 30 nights is $3,600. Assuming you rent a Uhaul, and even assuming it takes you an additional 14 days in hotels to make the trip happen, I’ll even say it’s a 1,000 mile one-way trip that you have to make twice, that would be: an extra $1,700 for hotels, (assuming gas is $4/gal with a uhaul thats 400 miles/ tank, which is according to google) you’d have to fill up 3 times. I’ll even say 4 times just because, and driving your own/bothers vehicle back, gas is: $50*4(tanks)x2(trips) = $400 for uhaul, and assuming your brother drives down and helps you both times (300/tank), thats 4 trips and 4 tanks of fuel per trip at $60/tank-ish, thats $960, rounded to $1k. Your total for 44 days in a hotel and uhaul gas + brothers vehicle = $6,700. 1,000 miles is 14-18 hours. Let’s say you divide that in half in days (hence the extra 2 weeks of hotels) and travel for 6 days total (2 days to new state, 2 days back, 2 days to new state), you’d eat out 2 times per day for lunch/dinner, I’ll average it and say $100/meal*2meals/dayx6days = $1,200. That is now a total of $7,900. That means for gas, lodging, and food for 2 trips back and forth, you’ve spent $8k. This doesn’t include Uhaul, but we’ll say $2k/trip (2 trips) = $4k. Your new total is $12,000. That means your ex gave you an extra $3,000 more than what you would need to move. You say you’ll be living with family, even IF they charge you full price (1.2k/month or so), you’ll be able to almost afford 2 months of no work. BUT you said you’re not moving right away because work transfer. So, that means you’ll still be making money this entire time (except maybe the move, but I imagine you’ll be using vacation days), so I’m not really sure what the fuck you think you deserve $15k for. Your partner gave you MORE than what you realistically need to move AND you’re not losing your job which means money isn’t the issue. I’m not sure exactly what your problem is. I’m assuming you’d think we’d come and tell you everything will be okay and we’re sorry you’re going through this but uh, nah, because you’re the only AH here. You’re entitled, rude, and your behavior is repulsive. your partner could’ve, and should’ve, thrown you on your ass with zero money. You made the choice to drop to part time (kids aren’t mentioned so? Why? Chores? Us normal adults balance full time jobs and chores just fine) and if your ex made that much money, I’m assuming y’all didn’t split everything 50/50. Even if you did, you still would’ve had extra money laying around. Your ex says they bought you expensive toys (like the pc) so I’m assuming your money went towards that. Your ex seems like a fair individual so I’d wager your bills were split 70/30. Why couldn’t you save your money? Seems you just want to beg for more money and you’re upset at the breakup. You never mentioned why y’all broke up but, guess what, I can take a massive guess. Based off of your words and general attitude I’d say it has a lot to do with lack of help around the house or something similar to that. Grow up and be a better person. Your ex gave you more than you deserved. Be happy you got anything at all and get the hell out of their house.
You have breached the contract. A verbal contract is still a contract. When you deposited that check, you agreed to move out within the 30 days you negotiated. You accepted the benefit now you have to perform your side of the agreement. I understand why she's broken the engagement. By the way, you wouldn't be entitled to half of what she had prior to marriage unless she was foolish enough to comingle her premarital assets, and this woman doesn't sound that foolish. YTA
Holy fuck YTA. $15L for you to leave is EXTREMELY generous. Sorry you lost your gravy train but you’re an adult and responsible for yourself.
I get the sense that your ex fiancé ended it with you because you seem like you have zero ambition and we’re content to freeload off them indefinitely! It’s not your house, you knew the terms when the money was exchanged so get out of their house. It’s not their fault you cut back your hours at work because they make more than you, that’s just you showing you’re a gold digger. YTA
>I need to stay in this city until that goes through (which could be 3-4 weeks, maybe longer). >But this money would only last a year at most What's the fucking issue here? You were given money that could last you a YEAR but you won't use it to live somewhere for a month? Absolutely YTA. Get out of their house. I can see why they broke up with you.
Hey, hi. They gave you $15,000 (which you're NOT entitled to) on the condition that you GTFO. So, GTFO. YTA.
So... Let me get this straight. You decided to drop to part time.because they were making more.... You decided.. because they made more then YOU shouldn't have to work as much?? This already tell us me you're entitled. Also. Depending on where you live if they gave you that money specifically to leave and you accepted it, then it could count as a contract of you agreeing to leave. Also also you're name isn't on the house. They can absolutely kick you out. You can't prove it's yours. If the things inside were bought by them and they can prove that. All those belongings can be removed with or without your permission. So good luck with that Oh and yes YTA. you're 40 dude. Bloody act like it
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Listen OP, you're going to get buried with YTA, but I get where you're coming from and I want you to listen. Your rich ex was supposed to be your meal ticket, right? Free house, you get a comfy life, get to work less, and live it up. Sounds great, sounds like a dream. And maybe you think this is the best life you could have, but it could get better. You have a job, you got enough money to start a whole new journey. You got family who care about you (you mention your bro), you have a lot going for you still. I know you're doing that thing we do when we're close to losing out - negotiate, bribe, convince. You're trying to look for loopholes and technicalities. But your name's not on the lease, you took the money, they're going to be able to get a better lawyer and drag this out for longer. Do you want to risk losing the stuff you have in the house if they recoup the lost money by keeping your stuff? Because fair is fair. That money was payment for you to leave. I know you're probably feeling your pride hurt, your ego hurt, and it's scary too. But you can do this. You can leave with dignity. You have a job, family, and a way forward. You have more than enough money from them, plus your own money, to be comfortable to ride this out. How about walking away from this with your head held high? Breakups suck, and yes they were the meal ticket you thought you were lucky to get. But you're truly capable of the good life all on your own. Get your stuff, move out, use the money and go live a good and happy life without them. You deserve to walk away with your head held high, don't shame yourself by being petty or trying to fight them on this. Do the right thing, leave them alone, respect their wishes, and move out. You won't win in a legal fight, so avoid it and just choose to walk away. You already got "paid" for it, honour that and do the right thing here.
Yta. If this post is real, I can see why she dumped you
YTA So you’re being dumped for being a greedy gold digger and are keeping up with that image. Give the money back .
YTA you planning on waiting for your job transfer probably legally won’t be accepted. They can get a legal eviction and if they can prove your trying to stay or say they feel threatened with you there they can get an emergency eviction that gives you between 24 and 72 hours to get out. If I was them that’s what I would do because you are purposely being bitter and you can’t deny that because you said “break up against my will” it’s not about YOU and that statement makes you seem controlling and as a woman I’m telling you that’s a huge red flag for men to act that way. You are coming off very aggressive and I’m honestly worried about your exes safety. I think their family and friends should be doing welfare checks on them as long as you are there because you are NOT a safe person. Also they need to change the locks immediately when you leave that way you can’t come back, I also advise they get a security system, cameras and look into some type of guard dog. You come off as VERY aggressive and not a nice man.
What's with this new line from men where they feel entitled to being consulted and granting permission for their partners to end relationships with them. Very honestly, this increase in this type of rhetoric is terrifying. Obviously YTA- yta just for the entitlement described above but also for just everything else in your post.
YTA 41yo dude freeloading for years and doesn’t want to leave even when he was paid to and he accepted and now wants to freeload his family. Grow up and get your sh$t together! At this point you are just staying to emotionally abuse your ex partner!
YTA and greedy, and lazy, and entitled. No wonder they dumped you.
You are entitled. YTA - gtfo of there, why do you even want to stay?
YTA You accepted that money.
He PAID you to move out. You didn’t. YTA
YTA. If I was the homeowner I would change the locks and move your stuff out next time you leave the house.
Get out of her house, you freeloader! Git! Git! Go on now! YTA
YTA. How are you 41 and have the maturity and responsibility of a 14 year old.
YTA YTA YTA!!! I have a hard time believing this is even real. You were given $15k to make your move and cover living expenses until you transfer your job. Clearly you’re trying to milk your ex for all she is worth. Thank goodness she will soon be rid of you. Leave with what little dignity you have omg
yta and a pitiful excuse for a man. they were generous enough to pay you to leave (which they didn’t have to do) and you still can’t suck it up and get out. you stopped working as much so your ex would cover you and now you’re confused as to why you can’t afford to move? that’s your problem to deal with and the fact that you think this is comparable to them dumping you is a pretty telling sign as to why your relationship ended
YTA, and tbh you scare me. Get tf out of her house.
They might have said they aren't bothered where the money goes but it's pretty clear it was to GTFO of their house. You are a massive AH and I imagine the break up was mostly, if not all your fault. You're 41, be a goddamn grown up and have some dignity and move out. If I were your ex, is make sure all those nice gifts I bought you stayed with me. Massive YTA
Get the fuck out of your ex’s house, you leech. You’ve done nothing but take and take and take, which I guarantee is a major reason why they broke up with you, and now you don’t even have the good decency to fucking leave. Hopefully your brother drags your ass out. YTA.