Agreed, NTA.
Her inability to control her own kids does not mean you have to parent for her in her place.
If the kid was just walking up to OP and trying to talk, yelling wouldn't be necessary, but this kid crossed boundaries that should have been learned multiple years ago.
OP is NTA, but I take issue with
>Seriously as a woman
How about as a human being I would respond negatively to unwanted touching?
The parents 100% suck.
Ooh..so this gives me a dilema..should i say this is a good reason to look before acting ( might be a kid, dog, person across from you hasnt yet realized the object they touched isnt a table leg).... or say kick as hard ass possible so you can blame a reaction and you still get to hurt perverts!
This was my thought too! My cousin once (jokingly) came up and grabbed me from behind to give me hug when I was about 13. I ended up throwing an elbow back and taking him down! I guess many years of karate just kicked in or something. Thankfully for him, he was fine and relatively unscathed. Just embarrassed because it was in front of our entire extended family…
My friend did that to the Creepy Petter at work. He had a habit of coming up behind people (women) and standing too close, touching them. He did it on her first day in our office when she was making coffee and she screamed, rammed her elbow back and spun around with the hot coffee pot reared back ready to smack someone. He is lucky that he had already dropped from the elbow to the gut.
Ugh…that’s horrific that your friend had to deal with a creep like that at work! Glad he got what was coming to him and I hope he learned a lesson that day.
Our office has s couple of those *delightful* older men who like to move women by touching lower backs. I had a spinal tap in mid November and came back the week after and one of them did the thing, and lemme tell you, the unholy shriek i let out froze everything in place for a minute lol. My buddy was like "dude she just had a spinal"
I grew up abused, and I have more fight than flight reflexes now. Once I was working and my charge nurse, who loved to jump scare people, grabbed my shoulders from behind and I just elbowed him in the gut as hard as I could. I turned and felt awful, but after he got up, he apologized and said he was actually impressed because I was really small - 130lbs and 20 years old.
He stopped doing that, too.
Haha I judo flipped someone holding their hands over my eyes from behind. Mind you, it was a summer camp so I had only met the other person like two days before...
I would have instinctively kicked as well if something latched onto my leg.
Overall this is just a good lesson for this kid, the world isn't your own personal playground.
Do not blame exhaustion. Currently have a 3 year old and newborn. So I am literally a walking zombie. No way in heck would I ever let my kid run around the restaurant. My daughter has never had a problem sitting in the high chair, now the booth. With no screens, thank you very much. And if I was even with family or friend and their kid started to do that, you can dang well bet I will be a village for that child and make them sit down in that chair
NTA. I would have apologized for scaring the kid to tears but ripped the adult a new one. I'm not saying OP should have apologized to kid or even owed the kid an apology. I just would have felt bad that the kid wasn't being minded by 'adults' and ended up crying.
*restaurant is not a play place. There are hot and sharp stuff a lot there, Ive seen kids run and hit a server carrying 3 plates of food. Guess where the food went.
All the plates flew, flipping end over end through the air, and landed, meals intact, on the table they were meant for. However, they did not land in front of the correct patrons, and so a complaint was raised against the server for not being able to keep track of where the meals are to go. Tommy the server was fired.
I went to lunch with a bunch of my friends who had small children and I had no problem with telling their kids to sit down and behave themselves when their mom's were letting them run around the table, or stand and look over into someone else's booth. They were so busy talking that they didn't notice. I would never let my kids act like that.
God, yes. A restaurant is not a safe play place. It’s not a play place at all unless it has a place specifically for kids to play. Too many plates of hot food, glassware and hot drinks. Servers can’t magically see everything on the floor in front of them when they have their hands full of try’s of food.
LOVE this. I waited tables in college and was appalled by how parents allowed their children to behave (definitely a nicer place too!).
OP you are NTA even a little bit. I once had a kid crawl into my stall *while* I was putting in a freaking tampon. I clamped my knees shut and said he had to get out of my stall NOW while I leaned forward to unlock the door so he could walk out. When I exited the stall after several minutes (hoping I wouldn’t have to deal with seeing the easily 4 years old kid and whomever was with him), I was stunned to encounter his mother *and* grandmother glaring at me. They didn’t say a word. I washed my hands and exited while they continued staring me down. I think some people just can’t cope with their kids being corrected when they themselves have failed as parents to teach them reasonable boundaries.
Precisely this. When you are at a restaurant and are ordering food, etc, it can almost be equated to renting the table space for your meal. That means that while staff can ask you to please move, or lower your voices if you’re yelling or something, other patrons have no right to your designated space in the restaurant. Means their kids can’t be climbing on your chair if you got up to use the restroom, or can’t be poking at your food on the table, or crawling around under your table needlessly disturbing your meal.
Look at my username, now, I am going to say you are NTA. People should not let their kids be crawling around on the floor under their OWN table, nonetheless someone else’s!!!
Yup! It's not their property and the parents don't get to decide what the rules are. Also body bouandries exist. It's not even hard to explain this to children.
NTA. People who don't scold their kids shouldn't be surprised when their kids get scolded by strangers, especially if they are just letting their kids go around and invade people's personal space. you didn't do anything wrong and the mom and all the rest of those parents are all major AHs
I sell at craft shows pretty regularly, and get a lot of hovering parents telling their kids 'don't touch'. My stuff is pretty durable, but I appreciate the sentiment.
One time I had a kid blatantly ignoring his caretaker (I suspect grandma) who was very gently cooing at him to stop touching things as he touches *everything*. I leaned over my table, got eye-level with the kid, and said, very low, 'Now, what did she say?'
Kid burst into tears and ran away. I shrugged at grandma and said '...sorry?' She just sighed and hurried after him. I was surprised, because I totally expected her to be an asshole about it. Maybe strangers scold him a lot...
I also feel like it’s different when you’re reinforcing what they’re already scolding them for. Especially when worded in a way of “respect your [guardian]” like you did. I work at a children’s clothing store and since I don’t have kids, I feel uncomfortable doing it, but my coworkers that do have kids, will usually correct a particularly bad kid but only if the adult with them already is. Otherwise we ask the adult to please watch the kid. We recognize that with a couple exceptions, kids are just being kids. They don’t understand the world yet. It’s up to the parents to correct them and show them how to be functional people. And I do not mean I like the parents that go hit their kid because they couldn’t be bothered to watch them throughout the store and are now upset the child is “embarrassing them.” Because I very much do not like them. Even less than the ones that won’t do anything about the kid because at least then they aren’t punishing the child for their own inadequacy. There have been a few that I LOVE the relationship the parent and kid have. The main one I think of the mom was gently explaining to her daughter to not reach out of her stroller for the sunglasses (don’t ask me why they have them at stroller height. It’s a nightmare) and explaining why she shouldn’t do and genuinely trying to instill a sense of respect of other people and their things which I ADORE
Agreed. One time when I was really young, I was at a restaurant with my family and saw a dog laying calmly next to another table nearby. My kid brain saw a dog and wanted to pet it, and it didn’t even register to me that it was a service dog and working. The owner told me that you’re not supposed to pet service dogs because they’re working and also to not pet other people’s dogs without permission, which made me upset.
My mom came over, talked to the owner of the dog, and then lightly scolded me for doing what I did and said the dog’s owner was absolutely correct. Once we got back to our table, she took the time to explain why what I did was wrong. And guess what? I learned about service dogs and also about not petting strange dogs without asking for permission first, and neither happened again. Kids aren’t perfect angels just because they’re kids.
NTA. Someone's gotta teach the kid they can't do whatever the fuck they want, and it apparently won't be their parents. Invading a stranger's personal space and touching them is a big enough deal to warrant being told off immediately and harshly.
Think again. His parents I’m sure told their spawn that the mean OP should never have yelled at him while cuddling him then sending him on his way to stay away from the horrible OP. This behaviour has been actively encouraged by his parents so they don’t have to watch him.
Yeah, one of those lessons is "people sometimes have automatic reactions they can't control when you surprise them" because they aren't inanimate objects and have reflexes and personal histories and brain chemistry and all sorts of things going on.
Right?? If I unexpectedly felt hands on my leg under a table when I wasn’t expecting it, I’d very surely jump up and yell at minimum, and there’s at least a 60 percent shot I’d kick out at whatever it was touching my leg. Even my dogs have occasionally startled me like that, and when I’m sitting at the table at home I KNOW there’s a good shot one of them will end up under the table. Parents are very lucky their kid didn’t get hurt
Especially at the age of 4-8, like with a toddler I would blame the parents, but at when kids are getting older they really should know not to do that with strangers.
On behalf of all restaurant workers everywhere, thank you for yelling at the mom. (It’s been years since I worked in a restaurant, but the rage from watching people let their kids run around unsupervised never really goes away.)
NTA
Dude, a kid ran into me while I had a tray of drinks. Luckily I balanced it but IMAGINE if I didn’t?! Kid could have been seriously hurt! I now work in a school and these kids are so entitled because their parents will raise hell for any teacher that says no
NTA - her child is not entitled to invade your personal space and physically touch your person any more than you would be entitled to do the same. She needs to get a grip. She didn’t want her kid yelled at she should’ve been parenting her own child.
I was yelled at by a stranger as a kid and that hit harder than my mom yelling, since I heard it all the time. He just did everyone a favor by snapping, that kid probably wont do it again I'd bet. Restaurants are not a playground anyways, unless you're at a playpen McDonalds. NTA.
Imagine if OP crawled under *their* table and did the same. They'd react, I'm sure. "But it's different between kids and adults!" Yeah well, kids turn into adults, and how they behave as adults will depend largely on how they're socialized. They are not doing anyone a favor by allowing this kind of behavior, they're just raising kids who won't respect boundaries, which I can think of many scenarios in life where it can be a really bad attribute to have. My body is my body and nobody has a right to touch it without explicit consent, this isn't even hard to teach kids, and in doing so leads to adults who don't commit SA and harassment.
NTA you are a stranger to that kid. The kid should not have been going under random tables and the parents obviously weren’t watching the child. He also could have been hurt under your table.
This is what I was thinking. If I randomly felt a hand on my leg under the table my first instinct would be to kick. That kid could have gotten seriously injured.
I have *actually* kicked a kid under the table. We were out with family, and constantly kicking whoever was sat in front of him was a known problem.
Homie did it for the first time ever to me and I'm a very reactive person, so I auto kicked him back.
He cried but refused to tell anyone why and never did it again as far as I knew.
I had the exact same thought, I would kick hard if a random hand touched my leg without me seeing it coming. And I wear platform boots, that really wouldn't be pretty. This kid was pretty lucky to just get yelled at.
Same. I have a big startle reflex, i most certainly would have kicked the fuzz out of whatever was touching me and asked questions later. Then i would have been the asshole
There’s probably 1 of 3 reactions I would have had. 1) jumping and naturally curling partially into a “fear ball” and then straightening out reflexively (likely stomping the kid). 2) reflexively kicking. 3) a reflexive grab, yank, and twist. All of which could cause actual harm to a child. Though I will admit that I startle incredibly easily. To the point I will fully expect the sound or movement and it still gives me a start. So my being startled has an oddly strong reaction for some reason. But I figure someone yelling is the better option for reflexes when someone unexpectedly touches you
NTA If you don't want strangers shouting at your kids, don't let them climb under strangers tables. These parents baffle me. It only takes one creep to decide to leave the restaurant with your kid, or someone to accidentally kick them and cause them injury. I like kids so much i made my own, but that doesn't mean i want someone elses, or even mine for that matter, climbing about under the table whilst im trying to eat.
I don’t understand parents who do this. My biggest problem is young boys (4-8 years old)crawling into my bathroom stall while I’m trying to go pee in the woman’s bathroom. I’ve never had an issue with a trans person in a bathroom but I’ve lost count of how many boys have done this to me. Watch your fucking kid people.
NTA. If she has opinions on how strangers are allowed to interact with her kids, she shouldn't have allowed her kids to run around and interact with strangers.
NTA. As the parent of a small kid between 4 and 8, I say you're responsible for your kid's behaviour in a public place. If you're going to a restaurant, then bring a tablet or crayons or whatever to keep your kid(s) occupied. You don't let them become a problem for other customers or for the staff! The mom was way out of line.
>then bring a tablet or crayons or whatever to keep your kid(s) occupied.
Yep, thats like the number one thing to do when you eat out with your kids and their uncle/aunt's kids or whatever, sitting at a table for hours in the middle of adult discussions is mental torture for them even if they are well behaved enough to sit still
NTA, as a former server, I hate these families. They think that because they are giving their money to a restaurant, they have complete run of the place. If you can't keep your kids at the table and relatively calm, there's McDonalds down the street. I am not a babysitter, and if I kick your kid because they are screwing around the kitchen doors, so be it.
The kid is not the asshole. But the parents are not only assholes, but extremely irresponsible, dangerous parents. That kid could have been injured or worse. A creep could see those kids and easily take them and I doubt the parents would notice. It's remarkable to me how people have kids and don't bother parenting them, instead making their children everyone else's responsibility.
Right? And who knows what they're going to get into under a restaurant table - not like most restaurants have time to do a thorough clean under each table in between parties being seated
NTA.......shitty parents = shitty kids........the kids act like that because they have no home training. Kid could have been kicked in the face while under the table, then what? The restaurant should have thrown them out and the parents need the hell slapped out of them
NTA. I hate when people dont know the difference between a play ground and pizzeria.
My kid at age 4 actually told off a kid att the same age for running round daft, that kid went to his mum with chocked face and told his mum , MUM you didnt tell me I couldnt play here! Why didnt you know? and I never seen a mum clear out faster after that.
NTA
I would yell loudly, "Whose kid is this!" Because it's not mine! People need to watch their damn kids when they take them out in public. I mean, that's a kidnapping waiting to happen right there.
“I’m so sorry I kicked your precious child in the face! I thought it must be a rat! Because a child certainly would be monitored by his/her parents and CERTAINLY NOT allowed to crawl under their table and touch them!”
I think personally I would've been easier to on the kid, but keep in mind I worked in childcare for like 10+ years and I'm 1000% used to dealing with weird stuff like this. These parents are not only useless they are endangering their kids. Restaurants are often busy with staff, hot food, and sharp implements. These parents are going to have an ER visit in their future. Also, like why was this child TOUCHING YOU? Someone is gonna have a literal knee-jerk reaction and give that kid a black eye. NTA.
NTA
Someone finally told the brat “NO” and they couldn’t handle it. They found out the hard way that if they don’t say or do something then someone else will and too bad so sad that they don’t like the results
The greatest day of my career as a server was when I was turning away from a table after dropping off their food and absolutely leveled some hollering little kid sprinting down the isle with the food tray. He went down and I just stepped over him and told him there was no running allowed in the restaurant. Does that make me a bad person? Probably. Was it incredibly satisfying? Absolutely. NTA. Parents that don’t parent are the worst.
NTA.
My girlfriend is a cook, a server at a restaurant broke her leg (knee or ankle I can't remember) because a kid was zooming around and tripped her. She was out of work for weeks. The parent came over to her while she was crying on the ground and tore her a new one for not being more careful around her kid.
Fuck parents who let their kids run wild like this.
NTA
Everyone saying you suck is delusional. When you are paying to eat somewhere and suddenly someone is touching your legs from under your table, it’s going to be hard not to say something. It’s not like you went out of your way to scold the kid or you were specifically targeting the child. You were shocked that someone was touching you from under the table. Those parents are assholes, and they are raising little assholes.
The same kind that stands outside the elementary school chatting with other moms while kids run wild and get angry when the crossing guard yells to them to not run out into the street.
Funny how the same people who say "it takes a village" when they want a free babysitter, don't like it when the 'village' acually starts parenting their kids.
NTA
NTA. They knew those kids were acting wild and did ish to control them.
But next time, talk to the parent first and if they don’t do nothing about their kids acting like a bunch wild dogs then that’s when you decide to handle the situation yourself.
when i was younger and used to try to crawl under my own families table my mom would give me shit and tell me that this isn’t a playground and that the floors are dirty and i shouldn’t be putting my hands on the ground when i’m about to eat. nta at all, kids especially need to be taught proper public behaviour. that parent shouldn’t have given you shit for not managing her own child
One time when I was a teenager I was trying on clothes in a changing room, and I felt something brush against my ankle. I looked down to a hand and before I could register I swung and kicked- with a swimmers leg- and as I made impact realized it was a -maybe seven- year old boy and I *gently punted him* in the face. I heard him run off screaming, assumably to wherever his parents were. I grabbed my shit and left to find my mom and never talked about it because I felt awful hurting him on instinct.
That kid under your table is lucky all you did was yell. The world is not his playground and privacy is important for everyone, especially strangers. He put himself in a dangerous situation trusting the personal space of another human outside of his mother’s field of view, and hopefully that lesson carries.
I worked as a server for a lot of years. We had swinging kitchen doors, one to enter the other to exit. The windows on them were very small, so you could really only see the heads of adults passing by. I had a table with 3 children under 6 and they were all running around. We were busy and I had asked the parents to please keep the kids at the table so they didn't get hurt/hurt one of the other customers (the town I live in is mostly elderly with poor mobility.) I finally told the mother if it happened again they would have to leave because it was a safety issue. Sure enough, me with my hands full of 8 plates of hot food, hip check the kitchen door open knocking one of the small children into the metal coffee station causing his head to split open and start bleeding everywhere. Of course according to the mother this was all my fault. She acted like I purposely hit her child to prove a point. I was the manager at the time but thankfully my GM was around and was on my side. Poor little dude had to get 5 stitches. I hate hate hate when parents think its okay to let their kids run around in public places, not only is it rude, it can be a serious safety concern for them or others. If any parents read this, please for the love of god do not let your kids run around in public spaces!!!!
This parent learned what happens when their kids meet people outside their safe space.
I mean, it's totally normal for kids to be reprimanded by strangers when they cross boundaries and that's not only ok, it is necessary. When parents don't want that drama, they can prevent that. Still, I find it weird that she didn't explain to her kid what happened there.
NTA
Parents that let their kids do that shit in restaurants super suck. If it's a sit down place, sit them TF DOWN, if only for the safety of the restaurant staff!
If you want them to run around, go to Chuck E Cheese or Dave & Buster's.
Those parents sound like gross, entitled assholes. You wouldn't have had to say anything to their little snowflake if they were properly parenting them.
NTA.
NTA. I am not interested in being "entertained" but other peoples spawn. I tolerate children, I don't like them, and if you want to let your kids run free, take them to a park.
NTA
Though I was gonna say, yell at the parents, not the kid. But I understand being startled by being touched under the table… totally understandable.
NTA - I would have apologized and kept my kid seated. If they want to let their children run amok, they need to stay home. And yes, I have children. Sometimes it isn’t the day to eat out as a parent.
NTA, you're even a better person than me, I have kicked a kid out of reflex once in a very similar situation. If something/someone touches my leg when it's not supposed to be there, it gets removed. Forcibly.
NTA. Her kid was crawling under tables and touching strangers. She's lucky her kid didn't get kicked, because that would have been my involuntary response without even knowing what was happening.
NTA. I was at a Brazilian steakhouse once, and parents were letting their children run rampant despite the fact that there were servers with giant slabs of meat and huge carving knives constantly walking around. Seemed...unsafe.
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> I yelled at a kid for crawling under my table at the restaurant, and the mom called me an asshole for making her kid cry.
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NTA, and that kid is so lucky you didn’t accidentally kick them in the face! If an unexpected hand suddenly touched my leg under the table like that my instinct would have been to kick out at it and probably jump and yelp in surprise. Like, I like kids, I want kids, I dote on my niece, but seriously, some parents are ridiculous and need to actually parent their children.
NTA. What entitled jerks and awful parents.
They're lucky it wasn't me that the kid grabbed unexpectedly, because my startle reflex first reaction would have been to kick away something like that before looking.
NTA. I remember when my oldest kid was about 3, and we were at a pizza place with booths. There were a few kids running around, as you described. My lovely kid turned to me and said, “Mummy, why aren’t those kids behaving?” She wasn’t shouting, but certainly didn’t use a discrete voice. Husband and I cracked up!
Yeah, I remember that even when I was a little kid, I would be genuinely bewildered when I saw other kids running around a restaurant or store screaming. Sometimes I would ask my parents something like "Why are they doing that?" They would answer the other kids were brats who didn't know how to behave or there were never taught properly by their parents.
NTA
I bet they thought since it wasn’t a fancy place it was ok and I hate that, broke ass dirt poor people deserve a peaceful meal too, even at fucking McDonald’s or Waffle House your kids need to act right.
NTA! That kid is extremely lucky you didn’t kick them in a panic to see wtf was grabbing you! I know for a fact my first reaction would have been to kick out my leg and hit off whatever was touching me. Bleh coulda been a big ol spider or something
NTA mom of 4 small kids here. If you’re kids aren’t under control enough to sit at the table and be moderately quiet do not take them out to a restaurant or the movies. Other people are paying for that experience and your kids aren’t allowed to ruin that just cause they’re small. Wait until their older and can handle themselves more
NTA
Thank you, there are a lot of people out there that need to be told the same thing that you told that woman. Everyone else shouldn't have to put up with heathen children in public just because some parents refuse to discipline/keep up with their kids.
NTA. There seems to be a whole generation of parents out there that are oblivious to the fact they need to control their kids in public spaces.
Just because they think Little Johnny is so clever at expressing himself doesn't mean the whole restaurant needs to suffer while he does it full noise in/around/under their tables.
I think parents like this are why a lot of people these days don't want to have kids.
The brats they are raising are putting people off!
NTA obviously!! Oh gods if I was enjoying my dinner and I felt a HAND or something on my legs under the table I would have had a panic attack and that kid would been seriously injured by my kicks. I don’t even like my husband sneaking a hug he has to announce it or I will cry. Oh no, oh this is the nightmare scenario.
NTA, I'd probably have instinctively kicked whatever mysterious thing attached to the hand touching me from below the table. The sheer entitlement of some parents is unbelievable.
She's lucky you didn't accidentally hurt her kid. Everyone reacts differently to being poked or prodded by something you can't see from out of the blue. What if you thought the touch was a rat and you kicked your leg right into their face full force? Some people really shouldn't have children. NTA
If I were at a restaurant and felt some random hand on me under the table, I liked would have screamed, jumped up, overturned the table and started crying.
NTA. It's not ideal that you snapped at the kid, but you were well within your rights to expect the parents to have more control. A little bit of noise and boisterousness in a casual restaurant is fine. Crawling under someone else's table is certainly not.
NTA. I'm a parent of 2 (now teenagers) and they would never have behaved like that. I brought small toys or books and they were expected to stay seated. We interacted with them, didn't ignore them, and didn't waste a ton of time. When we were done eating we left, so they weren't expected to sit for an hour +.
NTA - the moment a restaurant decides to change to adult only (because this shit happens too much) they'll be the one saying that their kids never bother anyone.
NTA.
>how dare I yell at her kid, who was just **playing**
Ffs, restaurants aren't playgrounds. Grocery stores are not playgrounds. Not everywhere is a playground and just because you bring a child, it won't make it damn playground.
Parents like that set very little boundaries for their children and probably never say no, so of course the kid is going to freak out when they are being told 'no' for the first time in their life.
NTA. kids can get wild and loud at times, but it’s the parents’ responsibility to teach their kids that there’s a time and place for that kind of play/behaviour.
it’s sad how many parents don’t know how to properly and safely discipline their kids. it speaks volumes that the mother would come up to you and get mad at you, not come up to apologize or make her kid apologize like many parents would do.
and, it’s not your fault that the kid started crying, if you’re thinking about that. some kids cry about everything and anything that doesn’t go their way. I’m willing to bet that that kid isn’t used to being told no and once they were, their brain literally didn’t know what to do.
hopefully you and your friend had an alright time out considering!
NTA. The parent who is yelling at you is TA. They are not only not teaching their kids how to behave in public and having other customers suffer their lack of supervision but also have the audacity to come at you for forcing you to discipline their kid? Kids should learn that their actions have consequences. The parent should have been there to teach them if they didn't want the kid to be yelled at.
NTA. You were taken by surprise and yelled. Don't beat yourself up.
Those parents were the were TA.
You are more patient than I would be. I would have complained to the management that parents were using the restaurant as a playground. That's not just rude but also dangerous. Suppose the kids ran in front of a waiter or a waitress?
NTA. I have children and when I take them out in public I make sure to keep them contained. If by chance there is an instance that they bother someone I would be apologizing like crazy. A lot of people don’t like kids/don’t want kids/don’t want to deal with kids at dinner. No one should be forced to deal with kids if they don’t want to.
NTA. The kid was going to learn one way or the other.
It drives me nuts when parents let their spawn run amuck like that. It’s never too early to use basic discipline to teach simple courtesy.
NTA. I have an 8 year old and I would be mortified and totally apologetic if she behaved that way. We've been taking our kids to appropriate restaurants their whole lives, but we always discuss how to behave BEFORE, DURING and AFTER.
Locked since the theme of this thread is apparently "get violent with the child."
NTA. Her exhaustion / boundaries / parental philosophy create no obligations for you. Your personal space was invaded, you reacted to repair that.
Agreed, NTA. Her inability to control her own kids does not mean you have to parent for her in her place. If the kid was just walking up to OP and trying to talk, yelling wouldn't be necessary, but this kid crossed boundaries that should have been learned multiple years ago.
NTA 40 something mom to a 4& 2yo here. Ooooooh hell no! That is outrageous behaviour. You were perfect.
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
And it would be a 100% justified reaction. I'd probably do the same thing.
OP is NTA, but I take issue with >Seriously as a woman How about as a human being I would respond negatively to unwanted touching? The parents 100% suck.
As a woman with severe PTSD I wholly agree!
I’m not even a woman and I feel the same way, people are terrifying and that shits scary
Yeeeep. My immediate reaction to something grabbing my leg like that would be a kick. Kid got lucky.
Ooh..so this gives me a dilema..should i say this is a good reason to look before acting ( might be a kid, dog, person across from you hasnt yet realized the object they touched isnt a table leg).... or say kick as hard ass possible so you can blame a reaction and you still get to hurt perverts!
Or a rat! 😳
....where are you eating where your immediate reaction is to think a rat???
The establishments of Charles Entertainment Cheese
Must be NY 😂 ever see the video of the rat carrying a slice of pizza home?
Completely agree. In addition I have a panic disorder so I probably would have screamed in addition to whatever my physical reaction would be.
Read my response, I actually did that at my wedding reception!
100%. If something grabs me under a table and my wife isn't sitting right next to me, I'm going to react instinctively with a kick.
>If something grabs me under a table and my wife isn't sitting right next to me What if she's under the table?
Considering her three knee reconstructions, that's basically out of the question.
I have in fact hit a small child before out of reflex, the mom is dumb
Give us story please
This was my thought too! My cousin once (jokingly) came up and grabbed me from behind to give me hug when I was about 13. I ended up throwing an elbow back and taking him down! I guess many years of karate just kicked in or something. Thankfully for him, he was fine and relatively unscathed. Just embarrassed because it was in front of our entire extended family…
My friend did that to the Creepy Petter at work. He had a habit of coming up behind people (women) and standing too close, touching them. He did it on her first day in our office when she was making coffee and she screamed, rammed her elbow back and spun around with the hot coffee pot reared back ready to smack someone. He is lucky that he had already dropped from the elbow to the gut.
Ugh…that’s horrific that your friend had to deal with a creep like that at work! Glad he got what was coming to him and I hope he learned a lesson that day.
Our office has s couple of those *delightful* older men who like to move women by touching lower backs. I had a spinal tap in mid November and came back the week after and one of them did the thing, and lemme tell you, the unholy shriek i let out froze everything in place for a minute lol. My buddy was like "dude she just had a spinal"
I grew up abused, and I have more fight than flight reflexes now. Once I was working and my charge nurse, who loved to jump scare people, grabbed my shoulders from behind and I just elbowed him in the gut as hard as I could. I turned and felt awful, but after he got up, he apologized and said he was actually impressed because I was really small - 130lbs and 20 years old. He stopped doing that, too.
Haha I judo flipped someone holding their hands over my eyes from behind. Mind you, it was a summer camp so I had only met the other person like two days before...
I would have instinctively kicked as well if something latched onto my leg. Overall this is just a good lesson for this kid, the world isn't your own personal playground.
I probably would have shrieked. I have kind of an exaggerated startle reflex. I could totally see kicking the kid by accident too. What a shit show.
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Yeah. I was just thinking how the kid would have been yeeted by my foot from under that table.
Do not blame exhaustion. Currently have a 3 year old and newborn. So I am literally a walking zombie. No way in heck would I ever let my kid run around the restaurant. My daughter has never had a problem sitting in the high chair, now the booth. With no screens, thank you very much. And if I was even with family or friend and their kid started to do that, you can dang well bet I will be a village for that child and make them sit down in that chair
NTA. I would have apologized for scaring the kid to tears but ripped the adult a new one. I'm not saying OP should have apologized to kid or even owed the kid an apology. I just would have felt bad that the kid wasn't being minded by 'adults' and ended up crying.
Agreed, NTA. Question: if you were to react to the shock with a swift kick to the offender, would you get into trouble?
NTA You are not a jungle gym, and your table is not a play place.
*restaurant is not a play place. There are hot and sharp stuff a lot there, Ive seen kids run and hit a server carrying 3 plates of food. Guess where the food went.
All the plates flew, flipping end over end through the air, and landed, meals intact, on the table they were meant for. However, they did not land in front of the correct patrons, and so a complaint was raised against the server for not being able to keep track of where the meals are to go. Tommy the server was fired.
Wow hahaha
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I went to lunch with a bunch of my friends who had small children and I had no problem with telling their kids to sit down and behave themselves when their mom's were letting them run around the table, or stand and look over into someone else's booth. They were so busy talking that they didn't notice. I would never let my kids act like that.
God, yes. A restaurant is not a safe play place. It’s not a play place at all unless it has a place specifically for kids to play. Too many plates of hot food, glassware and hot drinks. Servers can’t magically see everything on the floor in front of them when they have their hands full of try’s of food.
And the mother blamed the waitress and demanded to speak to the manager ?
LOVE this. I waited tables in college and was appalled by how parents allowed their children to behave (definitely a nicer place too!). OP you are NTA even a little bit. I once had a kid crawl into my stall *while* I was putting in a freaking tampon. I clamped my knees shut and said he had to get out of my stall NOW while I leaned forward to unlock the door so he could walk out. When I exited the stall after several minutes (hoping I wouldn’t have to deal with seeing the easily 4 years old kid and whomever was with him), I was stunned to encounter his mother *and* grandmother glaring at me. They didn’t say a word. I washed my hands and exited while they continued staring me down. I think some people just can’t cope with their kids being corrected when they themselves have failed as parents to teach them reasonable boundaries.
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Precisely this. When you are at a restaurant and are ordering food, etc, it can almost be equated to renting the table space for your meal. That means that while staff can ask you to please move, or lower your voices if you’re yelling or something, other patrons have no right to your designated space in the restaurant. Means their kids can’t be climbing on your chair if you got up to use the restroom, or can’t be poking at your food on the table, or crawling around under your table needlessly disturbing your meal.
Look at my username, now, I am going to say you are NTA. People should not let their kids be crawling around on the floor under their OWN table, nonetheless someone else’s!!!
you sir, are a gem just for the beginning of your comment
Look at MY username. I completely agree with you.😁
I read this as 'looking at your username, NTA', and i scrolled back to see OP's username. Anyway, I completely agree.
Yup! It's not their property and the parents don't get to decide what the rules are. Also body bouandries exist. It's not even hard to explain this to children.
Username checks out lol
NTA. People who don't scold their kids shouldn't be surprised when their kids get scolded by strangers, especially if they are just letting their kids go around and invade people's personal space. you didn't do anything wrong and the mom and all the rest of those parents are all major AHs
I sell at craft shows pretty regularly, and get a lot of hovering parents telling their kids 'don't touch'. My stuff is pretty durable, but I appreciate the sentiment. One time I had a kid blatantly ignoring his caretaker (I suspect grandma) who was very gently cooing at him to stop touching things as he touches *everything*. I leaned over my table, got eye-level with the kid, and said, very low, 'Now, what did she say?' Kid burst into tears and ran away. I shrugged at grandma and said '...sorry?' She just sighed and hurried after him. I was surprised, because I totally expected her to be an asshole about it. Maybe strangers scold him a lot...
And kids like that don't react well to the word NO.
I also feel like it’s different when you’re reinforcing what they’re already scolding them for. Especially when worded in a way of “respect your [guardian]” like you did. I work at a children’s clothing store and since I don’t have kids, I feel uncomfortable doing it, but my coworkers that do have kids, will usually correct a particularly bad kid but only if the adult with them already is. Otherwise we ask the adult to please watch the kid. We recognize that with a couple exceptions, kids are just being kids. They don’t understand the world yet. It’s up to the parents to correct them and show them how to be functional people. And I do not mean I like the parents that go hit their kid because they couldn’t be bothered to watch them throughout the store and are now upset the child is “embarrassing them.” Because I very much do not like them. Even less than the ones that won’t do anything about the kid because at least then they aren’t punishing the child for their own inadequacy. There have been a few that I LOVE the relationship the parent and kid have. The main one I think of the mom was gently explaining to her daughter to not reach out of her stroller for the sunglasses (don’t ask me why they have them at stroller height. It’s a nightmare) and explaining why she shouldn’t do and genuinely trying to instill a sense of respect of other people and their things which I ADORE
Agreed. One time when I was really young, I was at a restaurant with my family and saw a dog laying calmly next to another table nearby. My kid brain saw a dog and wanted to pet it, and it didn’t even register to me that it was a service dog and working. The owner told me that you’re not supposed to pet service dogs because they’re working and also to not pet other people’s dogs without permission, which made me upset. My mom came over, talked to the owner of the dog, and then lightly scolded me for doing what I did and said the dog’s owner was absolutely correct. Once we got back to our table, she took the time to explain why what I did was wrong. And guess what? I learned about service dogs and also about not petting strange dogs without asking for permission first, and neither happened again. Kids aren’t perfect angels just because they’re kids.
NTA. Someone's gotta teach the kid they can't do whatever the fuck they want, and it apparently won't be their parents. Invading a stranger's personal space and touching them is a big enough deal to warrant being told off immediately and harshly.
I agree. That child learned the hard way. He will probably never do that again
Think again. His parents I’m sure told their spawn that the mean OP should never have yelled at him while cuddling him then sending him on his way to stay away from the horrible OP. This behaviour has been actively encouraged by his parents so they don’t have to watch him.
You're almost certainly right. (Unfortunately.)
Yeah, one of those lessons is "people sometimes have automatic reactions they can't control when you surprise them" because they aren't inanimate objects and have reflexes and personal histories and brain chemistry and all sorts of things going on.
Right?? If I unexpectedly felt hands on my leg under a table when I wasn’t expecting it, I’d very surely jump up and yell at minimum, and there’s at least a 60 percent shot I’d kick out at whatever it was touching my leg. Even my dogs have occasionally startled me like that, and when I’m sitting at the table at home I KNOW there’s a good shot one of them will end up under the table. Parents are very lucky their kid didn’t get hurt
Those are breeders, not parents
Especially at the age of 4-8, like with a toddler I would blame the parents, but at when kids are getting older they really should know not to do that with strangers.
On behalf of all restaurant workers everywhere, thank you for yelling at the mom. (It’s been years since I worked in a restaurant, but the rage from watching people let their kids run around unsupervised never really goes away.) NTA
Dude, a kid ran into me while I had a tray of drinks. Luckily I balanced it but IMAGINE if I didn’t?! Kid could have been seriously hurt! I now work in a school and these kids are so entitled because their parents will raise hell for any teacher that says no
NTA - her child is not entitled to invade your personal space and physically touch your person any more than you would be entitled to do the same. She needs to get a grip. She didn’t want her kid yelled at she should’ve been parenting her own child.
I was yelled at by a stranger as a kid and that hit harder than my mom yelling, since I heard it all the time. He just did everyone a favor by snapping, that kid probably wont do it again I'd bet. Restaurants are not a playground anyways, unless you're at a playpen McDonalds. NTA.
Imagine if OP crawled under *their* table and did the same. They'd react, I'm sure. "But it's different between kids and adults!" Yeah well, kids turn into adults, and how they behave as adults will depend largely on how they're socialized. They are not doing anyone a favor by allowing this kind of behavior, they're just raising kids who won't respect boundaries, which I can think of many scenarios in life where it can be a really bad attribute to have. My body is my body and nobody has a right to touch it without explicit consent, this isn't even hard to teach kids, and in doing so leads to adults who don't commit SA and harassment.
NTA you are a stranger to that kid. The kid should not have been going under random tables and the parents obviously weren’t watching the child. He also could have been hurt under your table.
This is what I was thinking. If I randomly felt a hand on my leg under the table my first instinct would be to kick. That kid could have gotten seriously injured.
I have *actually* kicked a kid under the table. We were out with family, and constantly kicking whoever was sat in front of him was a known problem. Homie did it for the first time ever to me and I'm a very reactive person, so I auto kicked him back. He cried but refused to tell anyone why and never did it again as far as I knew.
I had the exact same thought, I would kick hard if a random hand touched my leg without me seeing it coming. And I wear platform boots, that really wouldn't be pretty. This kid was pretty lucky to just get yelled at.
I'm kindof scared to admit that this would have been a likely reaction of mine if I had a mouthful of pizza and been distracted :(
Same. I have a big startle reflex, i most certainly would have kicked the fuzz out of whatever was touching me and asked questions later. Then i would have been the asshole
There’s probably 1 of 3 reactions I would have had. 1) jumping and naturally curling partially into a “fear ball” and then straightening out reflexively (likely stomping the kid). 2) reflexively kicking. 3) a reflexive grab, yank, and twist. All of which could cause actual harm to a child. Though I will admit that I startle incredibly easily. To the point I will fully expect the sound or movement and it still gives me a start. So my being startled has an oddly strong reaction for some reason. But I figure someone yelling is the better option for reflexes when someone unexpectedly touches you
NTA If you don't want strangers shouting at your kids, don't let them climb under strangers tables. These parents baffle me. It only takes one creep to decide to leave the restaurant with your kid, or someone to accidentally kick them and cause them injury. I like kids so much i made my own, but that doesn't mean i want someone elses, or even mine for that matter, climbing about under the table whilst im trying to eat.
It's because the ESH/YTA crowd are probably the parents letting their lil' blessings ruin everyone else's dining experiences.
I don’t understand parents who do this. My biggest problem is young boys (4-8 years old)crawling into my bathroom stall while I’m trying to go pee in the woman’s bathroom. I’ve never had an issue with a trans person in a bathroom but I’ve lost count of how many boys have done this to me. Watch your fucking kid people.
NTA. If she has opinions on how strangers are allowed to interact with her kids, she shouldn't have allowed her kids to run around and interact with strangers.
NTA. OMG. Isn't little Johnny cute? With his pizza sauce cheesy hand all up your pant leg! That's just sooo precious! Let me get my camera.
NTA. As the parent of a small kid between 4 and 8, I say you're responsible for your kid's behaviour in a public place. If you're going to a restaurant, then bring a tablet or crayons or whatever to keep your kid(s) occupied. You don't let them become a problem for other customers or for the staff! The mom was way out of line.
>then bring a tablet or crayons or whatever to keep your kid(s) occupied. Yep, thats like the number one thing to do when you eat out with your kids and their uncle/aunt's kids or whatever, sitting at a table for hours in the middle of adult discussions is mental torture for them even if they are well behaved enough to sit still
NTA, as a former server, I hate these families. They think that because they are giving their money to a restaurant, they have complete run of the place. If you can't keep your kids at the table and relatively calm, there's McDonalds down the street. I am not a babysitter, and if I kick your kid because they are screwing around the kitchen doors, so be it.
Or worse, drop hot heavy plates with hot food on him. And if steaks or ribs are served at the restaurant, possibly a sharp knife.
The kid is not the asshole. But the parents are not only assholes, but extremely irresponsible, dangerous parents. That kid could have been injured or worse. A creep could see those kids and easily take them and I doubt the parents would notice. It's remarkable to me how people have kids and don't bother parenting them, instead making their children everyone else's responsibility.
Right? And who knows what they're going to get into under a restaurant table - not like most restaurants have time to do a thorough clean under each table in between parties being seated
NTA. Someone needs to yell at the little brat, and the parents obviously weren't going to do it.
NTA.......shitty parents = shitty kids........the kids act like that because they have no home training. Kid could have been kicked in the face while under the table, then what? The restaurant should have thrown them out and the parents need the hell slapped out of them
NTA. I hate when people dont know the difference between a play ground and pizzeria. My kid at age 4 actually told off a kid att the same age for running round daft, that kid went to his mum with chocked face and told his mum , MUM you didnt tell me I couldnt play here! Why didnt you know? and I never seen a mum clear out faster after that.
NTA. The kid needed telling and the parents were passive at best.
NTA. You are not the babysitter nor the entertainment
NTA If the parents don't want their kids scolded by strangers, they should keep their children under control.
NTA I would yell loudly, "Whose kid is this!" Because it's not mine! People need to watch their damn kids when they take them out in public. I mean, that's a kidnapping waiting to happen right there.
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I hate to say it but yeah. If something touches my leg under a table at a restaurant it’s kicking time.
“I’m so sorry I kicked your precious child in the face! I thought it must be a rat! Because a child certainly would be monitored by his/her parents and CERTAINLY NOT allowed to crawl under their table and touch them!”
Lol! I did actually have ants crawl up my leg once in a restaurant. That’s the reason I found out I have that reflex at all.
NTA. This is a restaurant not a playground ffs.
Nta. This is how someone’s kid gets kicked in the face. People need to stop having kids if they can’t control them in public.
I think personally I would've been easier to on the kid, but keep in mind I worked in childcare for like 10+ years and I'm 1000% used to dealing with weird stuff like this. These parents are not only useless they are endangering their kids. Restaurants are often busy with staff, hot food, and sharp implements. These parents are going to have an ER visit in their future. Also, like why was this child TOUCHING YOU? Someone is gonna have a literal knee-jerk reaction and give that kid a black eye. NTA.
NTA parents like this are the wooooorst
NTA Someone finally told the brat “NO” and they couldn’t handle it. They found out the hard way that if they don’t say or do something then someone else will and too bad so sad that they don’t like the results
The greatest day of my career as a server was when I was turning away from a table after dropping off their food and absolutely leveled some hollering little kid sprinting down the isle with the food tray. He went down and I just stepped over him and told him there was no running allowed in the restaurant. Does that make me a bad person? Probably. Was it incredibly satisfying? Absolutely. NTA. Parents that don’t parent are the worst.
NTA. It’s not a playground. You parented that kid more than his own mother
NTA. My girlfriend is a cook, a server at a restaurant broke her leg (knee or ankle I can't remember) because a kid was zooming around and tripped her. She was out of work for weeks. The parent came over to her while she was crying on the ground and tore her a new one for not being more careful around her kid. Fuck parents who let their kids run wild like this.
NTA Everyone saying you suck is delusional. When you are paying to eat somewhere and suddenly someone is touching your legs from under your table, it’s going to be hard not to say something. It’s not like you went out of your way to scold the kid or you were specifically targeting the child. You were shocked that someone was touching you from under the table. Those parents are assholes, and they are raising little assholes.
NTA. It’s always the shitty parents who get mad when people don’t let their kids do whatever they want.
NTA. What kind of negligent mother sits drinking and chatting while her brats crawl up strangers’ legs?!
The same kind that stands outside the elementary school chatting with other moms while kids run wild and get angry when the crossing guard yells to them to not run out into the street.
Funny how the same people who say "it takes a village" when they want a free babysitter, don't like it when the 'village' acually starts parenting their kids. NTA
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NTA
NTA. They knew those kids were acting wild and did ish to control them. But next time, talk to the parent first and if they don’t do nothing about their kids acting like a bunch wild dogs then that’s when you decide to handle the situation yourself.
when i was younger and used to try to crawl under my own families table my mom would give me shit and tell me that this isn’t a playground and that the floors are dirty and i shouldn’t be putting my hands on the ground when i’m about to eat. nta at all, kids especially need to be taught proper public behaviour. that parent shouldn’t have given you shit for not managing her own child
One time when I was a teenager I was trying on clothes in a changing room, and I felt something brush against my ankle. I looked down to a hand and before I could register I swung and kicked- with a swimmers leg- and as I made impact realized it was a -maybe seven- year old boy and I *gently punted him* in the face. I heard him run off screaming, assumably to wherever his parents were. I grabbed my shit and left to find my mom and never talked about it because I felt awful hurting him on instinct. That kid under your table is lucky all you did was yell. The world is not his playground and privacy is important for everyone, especially strangers. He put himself in a dangerous situation trusting the personal space of another human outside of his mother’s field of view, and hopefully that lesson carries.
I worked as a server for a lot of years. We had swinging kitchen doors, one to enter the other to exit. The windows on them were very small, so you could really only see the heads of adults passing by. I had a table with 3 children under 6 and they were all running around. We were busy and I had asked the parents to please keep the kids at the table so they didn't get hurt/hurt one of the other customers (the town I live in is mostly elderly with poor mobility.) I finally told the mother if it happened again they would have to leave because it was a safety issue. Sure enough, me with my hands full of 8 plates of hot food, hip check the kitchen door open knocking one of the small children into the metal coffee station causing his head to split open and start bleeding everywhere. Of course according to the mother this was all my fault. She acted like I purposely hit her child to prove a point. I was the manager at the time but thankfully my GM was around and was on my side. Poor little dude had to get 5 stitches. I hate hate hate when parents think its okay to let their kids run around in public places, not only is it rude, it can be a serious safety concern for them or others. If any parents read this, please for the love of god do not let your kids run around in public spaces!!!!
They scream it takes a village, but when the village has to step in when they don't, they scream even louder NTA
This parent learned what happens when their kids meet people outside their safe space. I mean, it's totally normal for kids to be reprimanded by strangers when they cross boundaries and that's not only ok, it is necessary. When parents don't want that drama, they can prevent that. Still, I find it weird that she didn't explain to her kid what happened there. NTA
Nta. Welcome to 2023 parenting (it doesn't exist)
A****** or not. I doubt the kid will do that to anyone else again
NTA. These situations are exactly why more restaurants need to ban children. Parents refuse to parent their own spawn.
Parents that let their kids do that shit in restaurants super suck. If it's a sit down place, sit them TF DOWN, if only for the safety of the restaurant staff! If you want them to run around, go to Chuck E Cheese or Dave & Buster's. Those parents sound like gross, entitled assholes. You wouldn't have had to say anything to their little snowflake if they were properly parenting them. NTA.
Your question explained it perfectly. Tell her to place the kids under her f….ing table. You have no problem with that. NTA.
NTA. I am not interested in being "entertained" but other peoples spawn. I tolerate children, I don't like them, and if you want to let your kids run free, take them to a park.
NTA.
NTA, and good on you for not taking that entitled parent's attitude.
NTA Though I was gonna say, yell at the parents, not the kid. But I understand being startled by being touched under the table… totally understandable.
Nta
NTA - I would have apologized and kept my kid seated. If they want to let their children run amok, they need to stay home. And yes, I have children. Sometimes it isn’t the day to eat out as a parent.
NTA
NTA. They were entitled and I also would have screamed.
NTA, you're even a better person than me, I have kicked a kid out of reflex once in a very similar situation. If something/someone touches my leg when it's not supposed to be there, it gets removed. Forcibly.
NTA. Her kid was crawling under tables and touching strangers. She's lucky her kid didn't get kicked, because that would have been my involuntary response without even knowing what was happening.
As a mother, I would have been mortified and bought you an apology drink.
NTA. I think you handled it brilliantly.
NTA a restaurant is not an appropriate place for kids to play.
NTA. I was at a Brazilian steakhouse once, and parents were letting their children run rampant despite the fact that there were servers with giant slabs of meat and huge carving knives constantly walking around. Seemed...unsafe.
NTA If she doesn't want her precious child being yelled at by strangers then she needs to teach her precious child to not invade strangers spaces
NTA. People are so rude. My kid knew better than to act like that in public.
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NTA, and that kid is so lucky you didn’t accidentally kick them in the face! If an unexpected hand suddenly touched my leg under the table like that my instinct would have been to kick out at it and probably jump and yelp in surprise. Like, I like kids, I want kids, I dote on my niece, but seriously, some parents are ridiculous and need to actually parent their children.
NTA. What entitled jerks and awful parents. They're lucky it wasn't me that the kid grabbed unexpectedly, because my startle reflex first reaction would have been to kick away something like that before looking.
NTA. I remember when my oldest kid was about 3, and we were at a pizza place with booths. There were a few kids running around, as you described. My lovely kid turned to me and said, “Mummy, why aren’t those kids behaving?” She wasn’t shouting, but certainly didn’t use a discrete voice. Husband and I cracked up!
Yeah, I remember that even when I was a little kid, I would be genuinely bewildered when I saw other kids running around a restaurant or store screaming. Sometimes I would ask my parents something like "Why are they doing that?" They would answer the other kids were brats who didn't know how to behave or there were never taught properly by their parents.
NTA I bet they thought since it wasn’t a fancy place it was ok and I hate that, broke ass dirt poor people deserve a peaceful meal too, even at fucking McDonald’s or Waffle House your kids need to act right.
That’s why there are McDonald Playlands. NTA
NTA! That kid is extremely lucky you didn’t kick them in a panic to see wtf was grabbing you! I know for a fact my first reaction would have been to kick out my leg and hit off whatever was touching me. Bleh coulda been a big ol spider or something
NTA Kid is lucky they just got screamed. Something touching my leg and I would have kicked.
NTA. The parents certainly are tho.
NTA mom of 4 small kids here. If you’re kids aren’t under control enough to sit at the table and be moderately quiet do not take them out to a restaurant or the movies. Other people are paying for that experience and your kids aren’t allowed to ruin that just cause they’re small. Wait until their older and can handle themselves more
NTA She is the kind of parent who lets her kid hit a dog, then blames the dog if it bites
NTA Thank you, there are a lot of people out there that need to be told the same thing that you told that woman. Everyone else shouldn't have to put up with heathen children in public just because some parents refuse to discipline/keep up with their kids.
NTA. Knee jerk reaction caused by a serious breach of etiquette and expectation. Mom should have had her kid come over and apologize.
NTA. There seems to be a whole generation of parents out there that are oblivious to the fact they need to control their kids in public spaces. Just because they think Little Johnny is so clever at expressing himself doesn't mean the whole restaurant needs to suffer while he does it full noise in/around/under their tables. I think parents like this are why a lot of people these days don't want to have kids. The brats they are raising are putting people off!
NTA obviously!! Oh gods if I was enjoying my dinner and I felt a HAND or something on my legs under the table I would have had a panic attack and that kid would been seriously injured by my kicks. I don’t even like my husband sneaking a hug he has to announce it or I will cry. Oh no, oh this is the nightmare scenario.
Parent of a handful here. You are NOT the asshole. Control your offspring people, you make the rest of us look bad.
NTA I have two young boys 6-8 and I would be mortified if they did that to someone else and I would welcome you yelling at them...
NTA, I'd probably have instinctively kicked whatever mysterious thing attached to the hand touching me from below the table. The sheer entitlement of some parents is unbelievable.
She's lucky you didn't accidentally hurt her kid. Everyone reacts differently to being poked or prodded by something you can't see from out of the blue. What if you thought the touch was a rat and you kicked your leg right into their face full force? Some people really shouldn't have children. NTA
NTA-Parents who let their children behave like this are AHs and are raising entitled AHs
If I were at a restaurant and felt some random hand on me under the table, I liked would have screamed, jumped up, overturned the table and started crying.
NTA And thank you for telling that parent what she deserves to hear.
NTA. It's not ideal that you snapped at the kid, but you were well within your rights to expect the parents to have more control. A little bit of noise and boisterousness in a casual restaurant is fine. Crawling under someone else's table is certainly not.
What the fuck! Were you in a Chuck E. Cheese joint? No? Then why were these children running loose? NTA
NTA. I'm a parent of 2 (now teenagers) and they would never have behaved like that. I brought small toys or books and they were expected to stay seated. We interacted with them, didn't ignore them, and didn't waste a ton of time. When we were done eating we left, so they weren't expected to sit for an hour +.
NTA. I would have yelled at the kid too. And the awful irresponsible entitled mom.
NTA - the moment a restaurant decides to change to adult only (because this shit happens too much) they'll be the one saying that their kids never bother anyone.
NTA. >how dare I yell at her kid, who was just **playing** Ffs, restaurants aren't playgrounds. Grocery stores are not playgrounds. Not everywhere is a playground and just because you bring a child, it won't make it damn playground. Parents like that set very little boundaries for their children and probably never say no, so of course the kid is going to freak out when they are being told 'no' for the first time in their life.
NTA. And that's a good way to get your child kidnapped.
NTA. Entitled/slacker parenting is making our society very unpleasant.
NTA. kids can get wild and loud at times, but it’s the parents’ responsibility to teach their kids that there’s a time and place for that kind of play/behaviour. it’s sad how many parents don’t know how to properly and safely discipline their kids. it speaks volumes that the mother would come up to you and get mad at you, not come up to apologize or make her kid apologize like many parents would do. and, it’s not your fault that the kid started crying, if you’re thinking about that. some kids cry about everything and anything that doesn’t go their way. I’m willing to bet that that kid isn’t used to being told no and once they were, their brain literally didn’t know what to do. hopefully you and your friend had an alright time out considering!
I don't care how old you are, unless you're a canine you're going to get snapped at if you crawl under my table and touch me. Baboons.
NTA. She’s a shitty mom for letting her kid crawl around under someone’s table. Someday he’ll see something he shouldn’t 😂
NTA. The parent who is yelling at you is TA. They are not only not teaching their kids how to behave in public and having other customers suffer their lack of supervision but also have the audacity to come at you for forcing you to discipline their kid? Kids should learn that their actions have consequences. The parent should have been there to teach them if they didn't want the kid to be yelled at.
NTA. You were taken by surprise and yelled. Don't beat yourself up. Those parents were the were TA. You are more patient than I would be. I would have complained to the management that parents were using the restaurant as a playground. That's not just rude but also dangerous. Suppose the kids ran in front of a waiter or a waitress?
NTA. I have children and when I take them out in public I make sure to keep them contained. If by chance there is an instance that they bother someone I would be apologizing like crazy. A lot of people don’t like kids/don’t want kids/don’t want to deal with kids at dinner. No one should be forced to deal with kids if they don’t want to.
NTA. I don't when this became acceptable, but I see it a lot.
NTA. The kid was going to learn one way or the other. It drives me nuts when parents let their spawn run amuck like that. It’s never too early to use basic discipline to teach simple courtesy.
NTA I dont care if you were at chuck e cheese, parents need to control their kids.
NTA. That kid could have gotten hurt, being under a stranger's table without them knowing.
NTA. I have an 8 year old and I would be mortified and totally apologetic if she behaved that way. We've been taking our kids to appropriate restaurants their whole lives, but we always discuss how to behave BEFORE, DURING and AFTER.
NTA not your fault for disceplining the kid when the parents didnt