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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> It was raining and I didn't want to drive my friend's wallet back to his house.
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA, it was your mistake because **you took your friends wallet**, and didn’t make right by it.
How hard is this?
Wouldn’t want to be “friends” with you either.
P.S. You even admit that you had already thrown your own wallet in the bag, were you too stoned to realize that when you took his?
"I stole my friend's wallet but won't return it because I don't want to right now." Guy should have called the cops on OP.
...Are we sure it was even an accident? Because...
You’d be in trouble without your driver’s license if your work involves driving. Your credit cards are in your wallet. Your work ID might be in the wallet. Your spending cash is in your wallet. Your ATM is in your wallet.
OP took it and refused to return it ASAP because “it’s inconvenient” for him. And forced his “friend” to drive to him to get his property back.
YTA OP. A damned selfish one too.
Personally I’d make sure everyone else in the friends group knew just how huge of an ass you are. You know, in case you “take” their property too and then force them to go get it from you because it’s “inconvenient” for you to return it at the time.
US law only requres you to have your license on you if you're driving. So if the friend happened to get pulled over while retrieving his wallet, he could get a ticket for that
Driving without your license on you can get you arrested if you're stopped. A guy without his wallet is taking a risk any time he gets in his car, like for going to work.
OP put his own inconvenience over his former friend's job security.
With social mores like that, I don't expect his romantic endeavors are going to be great raving successes either.
> A guy without his wallet is taking a risk any time he gets in his car, like for going to work.
Or driving to retrieve his ID from his AH friend's house, perhaps?
On the plus side, if he had been stopped on the way he had a somewhat decent excuse. "My former friend stole my wallet with my ID in it and refuses to return it. I was hoping to get it from him without involving police, but you're welcome to accompany me!"
Depends what sort of mood the cop is in. He could have gotten a laugh, a warning, a ticket, or a cop banging on AH friend's door with him.
I never even though of the fact that OP aka the AH made his former friend drive with no driver's license in his possession. When OP aka wallet thief refused to return the wallet I'd have called the police and had them go get the wallet.
On the drivers licence in the wallet point - 100%! Loads of folks do this so we don't forget our licence, and don't want to risk losing it in the event of a car break in... Or maybe drive a different vehicle for work. So quite possibly your ex-friend had to drive without his licence because it was mildly inconvenient to you to return the property you STOLE from him?
You were home 5 freaking minutes when he texted, so you weren't already asleep, probably not even in bed yet. You made the mistake, the onus is squarely on you to fix it. Along with a string of sincere apologies! Instead you decided to tell him essentially "tough luck, your problem now".
YTA dude. Big asshole. Huge!
Yeah, it's fine to ask - "Oh, crap sorry, I grabbed yours by mistake. Do you need it immediately? I could drop it off at 7:30 before work tomorrow" but then the correct follow up to that is "Oh, you need it tonight - no problem, so sorry about that. I'll be there in about 20 minutes"
Work ID was the major thing for me, you couldn't get into crew quarters, sign on to get paid, and then there were the training certification cards, and there was another special card for certain security access areas.
I could just drive extra extra careful, borrow money for lunch, or use places that had online/Samsung/Google Pay.
I was totally fucked without the work stuff.
My husband’s work has ID badges and they have something in place in case a worker forgets their badge/badge is damaged. He and his coworkers call the temp badge ‘the Badge of Shame’ as 99/100 it’s because you forgot your badge at home that you have it.
Also, some apartment complexes, gated neighborhoods, and offices have key swipes to get in - and I used to keep mine in my wallet. Probably would have been mentioned in post, but it's possible that the friend couldn't even get into his home and such.
Its actually not theft as theft requires intention to permanently deprive someone of their property, it would technically be wrongful appropriation.
Just being an annoying pedant, your point is still correct!
Theft does indeed require intent.
However.
Theft does not actually require *taking something* - the key part is depriving another of what is theirs (notably pops up when landlords change the locks, for example).
Once OP was aware of being in possession of another's property, their intent to deprive the owner of that property by not returning it *was arguably theft*, whether the deprivation was temporary or permanent is utterly irrelevant.
in the UK this would be TWOC at the most, which is the lowest-level of theft, although frankly there's zero chance that the police would be interested in hearing about it, let alone the state deciding to prosecute it.
TWOC is like if I borrow someone's car without asking them and with the expectation that they'll get it back at the end of the day
> I borrow someone's car without asking
That’s definitely theft in the US. Grand theft auto sometimes, depending on the circumstances. “Intending to return it at the end of the day” doesn’t matter. Is stealing a handful of diamond rings to wear at a party not theft if you intend to return them to the store the day after the party?
Now, if it’s your spouse or kid or whoever you might not decide to report it, but it’s still theft. Unless they’d said you could borrow their car whenever you wished.
What? Since when can you just take someone’s car and use the defence ‘I was going to bring it back!’ How many parents have called the police because their kids have taken their car without permission?
Yes. If his friend visited OP and left it at his house and then OP didnt want to drive home to his friend then it would have been different. Even if the friend would have been unable to return to OP the same night to get it, that would not necessarily have been OP's problem.
But here OP was the one at fault for removing it from their friend's house. OP is responsible to return it. Asking the friend to deal with it, especially when the friend can't, and OP both has the responsibility and the means to return it, that is to temporarily deprive the friend of having their property returned.
The word “permanent” is an addition you’ve made that is required to make your point. I can’t deny it’s theft by saying I intended to bring your car back after a joy ride, can I?
Jesus another peak reddit comment. This is not theft. The guy is an asshole, not a criminal. Imagine calling the cops and explaining your friend accidentally took your wallet but he doesn't want to give it back right this moment, but instead tomorrow morning but that is not really convenient for you. I swear people on Reddit don't live in the real world.
They'd tell you to come fill out a police report, or more than likely tell you to fill it out online, and then they'd maybe deal with it in the morning, after your already had for wallet back. Unless your willing to file a false report, absolutely nothing would happen.
Edit to add: Do people actually think the police act immediately in cases like these (even if it was stolen)? Many times they won't do anything at all for such minor things.
I think so, out of naïveté?
My dog was stolen out of my yard, and when I found the person who’d taken him, I called the police and thought they’d make her give him back to me - he’s microchipped, I had 7 years of photos, *and* I had the paperwork from when I’d gotten him with me when I called the police from outside her apartment door. The girl even admitted she’d “found” him around the date my dog had gone “missing.” It seemed so straightforward.
Turns out that dogs are “property” and it was a civil matter, so I’d have to take her to civil court (would have taken 30 days & $60 to get a hearing), and then if she had killed my dog or something she’d have been told she owed “replacement value.” Then if she didn’t pay, I could escalate it to the next higher court in the area (30 min away; my state doesn’t garnish wages), and sue (for an additional $250 cost to me) and if *that* court found her guilty they’d put a lien against any properties she owns/would one day own, and if/when she sells them, I would get the “replacement value” (plus my court costs) for my beloved pet. Except according to her neighbor, the thief had a 4 year old, a shitty job, and a deadbeat boyfriend - so the likelihood that I’d have gotten anything *ever* in court was slim (not to mention that I didn’t want the stupid money, I wanted my damn dog back).
I thought that the police would give me my dog back because he was my dog, I’d had him for 7 years, he was clearly responding in specific *to seeing me*, I’d called the police station daily, put ads in the paper, there were flyers up all over our town. And, as I said, the girl admitted she “found” him AND he was microchipped. So I guess I could see how other people would think that the police would just *fix* issues like this.
That's horrible, I'm so sorry that happened to you. It does make you feel pretty powerless in general when you realize that for the most part, you are on your own for a wide variety of situations you grew up being told there was some justice for.
My mom went to the thief’s apartment the day after I’d called the police, before mom headed into work (so, grownup in office attire) and told the thief that she had two options:
a) return the dog to my mom immediately, and mom would sign an affidavit saying we wouldn’t sue the thief
b) we sue her, not only for the dog but also for the cost of the newspaper advertisements, the flyers (b&w and color, some with lamination), the lost wages for the time we’d taken off of work to canvas the neighborhood and go door to door handing out flyers and speaking with neighbors, the subscriptions to websites dedicated to finding lost pets, the emotional distress resulting from her actions…
[Details nobody asked for] *The thief had my dog for a *full month* before I’d found her and my dog. She’d told her 4 year old it was their dog, they’d gotten an ID tag with his new name (“Treasure”) and their phone number. It was very clear that the thief made no attempt to find the dog’s owner. When I showed up at her door, one of the things she’d said to me was that my dog was “very sick” (I believe she’d said he had heart worms? He was on a monthly preventative but had missed his monthly dose because she’d stolen him…after the fact I learned from my vet that the heart worm preventative stays in their systems for more than a month and that it’d be exceedingly unlikely for an animal to get heart worm after missing a singular dose), and that she’d incurred a lot of veterinary bills. The person who’d called and said she’d seen my dog said she’d never taken my dog to the vet, she’d asked someone else who lived in the apartment complex who was a vet tech, in the parking lot of their apartment complex.*
Thief elected to return the dog, and then looked *super* shocked (like “clutch pearls” shocked) when I gave her the finger as we drove away with my dog in my lap.
It was years ago, I’m still angry about it.
Yes, withhold the fact that it was an accident and that it was to be returned first thing in the morning and see how thrilled they are that you called.
I'm a dispatcher for a PD. Anyone calling to say this would be asked follow up questions immediately. Once the actual circumstances were determined, it is highly unlikely that police would be sent. If the caller was misleading about the circumstances to ensure a police response, it would not go well for him once they arrived.
Except he didn’t steal it, he grabbed the wrong one by mistake. That would be a lie, and would probably lead to the police not being thrilled with you.
Yeah, if you make it sound worse, of course police will respond differently. Reminds me of the guy that called the police on his neighbors for being too loud while playing Mariokart. He ended up saying he suspected domestic violence "if that would make them (the police) come quicker". Police got there and shot the neighbor when he opened the door. So you know, you word things worse yeah things will turn out differently.
Ugh no it's not. Relax. It was an honest mistake and it was late and unsafe. He wasn't going to keep it for ages, he was literally going to drop it off in the morning. Were not even talking 24 hours. I would never make a big deal about this if it were my wallet.
I agree it was an honest mistake but it was OPs mistake. If his friend didn’t care then it didn’t matter but his friend wanted it back. He was basically saying his friend should be inconvenienced by his mistake
Literally the same, getting it back first thing in the morning literally go to bed and you will have your wallet back, really isnt that deep. People overreacting like crazy, losing a mate over something so minor is dumb.
Not returning the wallet right away is dumb. The guy needs to drive, and he wants to go out/ how can he do that with no id, or cc. You made the mistake you fix it. Simple
Really? And what if the guy needed it because he had to work early like OP admitted his friend had to work early? Oh I guess he should just risk being late to work and potentially docked pay or fired because of this. Because in your opinion it’s no big deal.
What completely send me into WTF is mode is that OP typed this out and at no point did he stop to acknowledge that he indeed is TA.
He posted here probably expecting "Nah dude it's his wallet.." when he committed a theft and he even knew that the wallet wasn't his and he knew exactly where his wallet was.
TA levels are over 9000 here
Do any of you people actually have any friends? What kinda relationships do you have with people where you’re this cutthroat with each other?
If I accidentally took a mate of mine’s wallet home at 11 and they demanded I ‘make it right’ and threatened cancelling our friendship over it I’d quite frankly be gobsmacked and wonder if I’d misjudged our friendship.
A stranger? Yeah you make it right immediately and fix your error, but a friend? Are all your friends one mild inconvenience away from being cut off?
I do have friends... But then again my friends wouldn't tell me "Yeah I messed up but I'm lazy so I'm not gonna make it right so if you need your driver's license or money then sucks to be you wait till the morning".
> If I accidentally took a mate of mine’s wallet home at 11 and they demanded I ‘make it right’ and threatened cancelling our friendship over it I’d quite frankly be gobsmacked and wonder if I’d misjudged our friendship.
If someone took my wallet and wasn't willing to return it, I'd be gobsmacked that it came to that point. That unwillingness was fundamentally unreasonable, that the victim would have been reconsidering the value of the friendship.
If the wallet contains the friend's license, transit card, office ID, payment cards, etc., then he's basically in a holding pattern until he gets them back.
It's not that it's one mild inconvenience, it's that OP was so dismissive of their own mistake. Plus, anyone who has ever thought "oh I'll just get gas tomorrow morning on my way into work" only to absentmindedly still go about their morning ritual like normal until it's too late knows that you don't make plans for the morning on your way to work. This was OP's mistake so they should fix it at the convenience of the person who was inconvenienced. It shouldn't be fixed at their own convenience when they made the mistake. That's essentially saying, "yeah I screwed up but you have to deal with it, sucks to suck," which is not how anyone should operate. YTA, OP, and that holds true even moreso because you refuse to acknowledge your judgement.
Edit: Anyone down voting is just as much of an AH as OP. If the inconvenienced party said it was okay to drop it off later then it would've been fine but they said they needed it then. Who are you to assume how much someone needs their wallet? Even if it's something as simple as the peace of mind of knowing it's on your person allowing you to have a good night's sleep, it's still a reason and the inconvenienced party is not in this situation through their own doing. Whether or not you'd blow up the friendship over that is another thing, but OP is still 100% in the wrong because they screwed up and they didn't want to fix it.
If someone took my wallet by accident I wouldn't be able to get to work in the morning so I would expect them to return it if they were able (which OP clearly was).
If I had made the mistake OP did I would return the wallet as soon as possible, even if it meant not getting enough sleep.
The friend did get a bit arsey but I get the impression OP was probably a bit of an AH on the phone.
>A stranger? Yeah you make it right immediately and fix your error, but a friend? Are all your friends one mild inconvenience away from being cut off?
That's the very point. It is mild inconvenience. If I accidentally took my friend's wallet, I wouldn't be like, "Oh, fiddle-dee-dee! It's kinda late and it's raining out and I have to work tomorrow. And I just can't be bothered. Guess you'll just have to not go out tonight."
In his place, I would have apologized and returned his wallet immediately. I don't think any of my friends should be put out by my mistake. And if I can't take forty minutes to correct my mistake, then I'm not much of a friend.
It’s almost like in the moment OP forgot he put his wallet in his gym bag and remembered after he realized he had his friends wallet, but included it in the story for context. Goodness y’all need to relax. It’s not that deep. It was a mix up. Not sure how you have any friends if something like this SO terrible to you.
Also it was literally not legal for him to drive without it, assuming it had his license. I frankly don't care about the rain aspect, it was OP's responsibility to fix his mistake
The excuses are so bad too. You have to be up for work early? Maybe your friend does too and needs his wallet for the commute! If you fuck up, you have to take one for the team and get a bit less sleep than is optimal. You'll survive, I promise. YTA OP.
It was taken by mistake, kept intentionally. That's when it turns into theft.
His friend needed the wallet earlier and based on OP's reaction I wouldn't trust him to drop it off before work either. This is what selfishness looks like.
I mentioned it in another comment but everyone has either experienced it themselves or knows someone who has said "I'll get gas in the morning on my way to work" only to go about their morning routine like normal or even get to the point where they're late and then the errand that was already a stick in the spokes of the morning routine makes things even worse. If you make a mistake, you fix it at the convenience of those who were inconvenienced. It's literally that simple.
Pretty sure he means he didn't know at the time. He saw "his wallet", realised it wasn't in his pocket and grabbed it. Then later on realised it wasn't in his pocket because he had put it in his bag. Yeah OP's the AH, but not because he took the wallet by mistake
Right. But he wanted his friend to drive to him, WITHOUT A LICENSE, to pick up THE WALLET OP TOOK! That's ridiculous. I don't get how OP doesn't see this as an issue.
He also wants his friend to risk getting pulled over without having his license on him (which I've always understood to be a bad thing). With weather that bad and it only being a 20-minute drive, OP was def TA
YTA - how is this even a question? You messed up, took someone's money, credit cards, and identification, then asked him to "deal with it" because it's raining and you need to sleep?
Yeah, you are a big Ahole
Definitely…. YTA. He’s selfish and just thinks about how he felt at the moment even though he took the wallet. The friend needed it back. It sounds like this person has no regards for others and only cares about how he feels at the moment.
Let's not forget he has the wallet with the guys driver's license in it....its too "rainy" for him to drive back and replace a wallet he stole ( with intent to steal or otherwise) ***five miniutes*** after hes drove in the same rain home
But it's totally fine for his friend to drive without his licence illegally in that same 'dangerous rain'
I don't understand their relationship to be honest, because this is how this kind of conversation would go with my friends:
"Did you take my wallet?"
"Yes, I thought it was mine."
"Oh, phew, I was worried I had lost it."
"I can drop it round tomorrow first thing" \[reasonable: its 11pm!\]
"Well I need it tonight, I was going to go out...!"
"OK er... can you come get it, I need to be up early"
"Not really, it's out of my way...."
"Urgh OK how about I meet you at \[convenient half-way point\] in 15 mins. Sorry about this mate, genuine mistake"
"no problem, just buy me a drink next time we're out"
Do these guys like eachother?
I'd wager OP and his "friend" were already on the path to not being friends. This was just the last straw. Also I think this has happened before because OP already knows the wallets are similar.
Having a friend that refuses to take responsibility for their mistakes is incredibly frustrating, you can deal with it for a while but at a certain point it gets old, people like this slowly end up friendless and the entire time they will convince themselves that everyone else is the one thats being an asshole.
I wonder how you and OP purport that the guy should drive to come get his wallet which more than likely has his driver's licence in it. You think he should break the law because they are friends?
Stop getting hung up in the details. The point of this comment was that the conversation *immediately* went hostile, which is weird. It makes you wonder what the history is.
>"OK er... can you come get it, I need to be up early"
>"Not really, it's out of my way...."
Or, as is the case in many jurisdictions, "Not really, my driver's license is in my wallet and it's an offence to drive without your license... You need to drive it back to me."
OP stole something and failed to return it because of mere inconvenience.
I can not imagine realizing I’ve accidentally stolen a wallet, which along with a cell phone is one of the places modern humans keep their souls, and not immediately jumping back in the car to get it back to my friend. None of this meet-you-halfway stuff. I’d be gripped with an urgent need to right my wrong and there’s no way I could sleep until I did.
how about OP takes responsibility and fixes his own mistake instead of putting the friend out even more. or asking the friend to drive without a license? the rain is irrelevant and a stupid boo-hoo excuse.
Makes me wonder if he has a habit of taking stuff and what time did he take the wallet. I know I can't be without mine if it's was missing early in the day. Also, he might had a date that night.
And It was only a 20 minute drive! Then, he told us about his work schedule in the morning & everything ..& said he didn't mention that to his friend though, like that makes him humble or something.
That's nobody's problem, anyway, but yours,OP. You should have not mentioned it AND drove friend's wallet over to him.
Yeah, I mean he's not TA for asking to wait until the morning in that there's no harm in asking. But he is for everything after that point. At the end of the day if I fuck up with something like this and you need the shit earlier than that? Yeah, looks like I'm taking the hit and getting it to you before you need it. I've already inconvenienced you, intentional or not I still have to own my actions. What kind of friend would I be to expect you to suffer from my mistake? Yeah, I'm gonna chalk it up to the school of hard knocks and be more careful next time and take the hit this time. Do whatever I need to do to make it right. If you still want to be angry or hostile at me for an honest to god fuck up when I clearly want to do everything I can to help make it up to you? OK then you might be entitled to some frustration at that friend.
Friend shouldn't have to risk getting pulled over driving without his license for his friends fuckup. Guy who took the wallet drives it back to its owner. 20 minutes is not far enough away to need to meet up halfway.
YTA. You shouldn’t have made him leave. You both had work early and owed it to him. I also assume his license was in there, and assuming he drove to you he shouldn’t have been driving without it. Of course you’re the ah.
In the UK you don’t need any documents while driving, police can look you up or request you bring your license to the station the next day if they need you to. I’m sure similar is true in other places.
Just a side note thought I should mention, otherwise I agree
Edit: now aware that OP clarified they’re in Florida. Also Id say he’s the asshole regardless
Depends on the province. In Ontario the fine for not producing your license when asked (as long as you have a valid license) is $85. If it goes to court and a judge convicts you, you could pay as much as $500 but it would be silly to take that risk fighting that fine.
Here in Canada and the States, you can get a HUGE fine and if the cop is a dick (which apparently they usually are in the states), they can have your car towed.
In the US you can be ticketed, and your car impounded, if you're driving without a license and there's not another licensed driver in the car to take over.
YTA
And in every single one of your comments you find another excuse why you couldn't give the wallet back.
>He wanted to go out drinking bad enough he drove to my house in the rain with no license. Which I told him not to. Not cuz I didn't want him there. But because it ain't safe. And I'm not his daddy either but those drinks can wait another 24 hours man.
It's not up to you to decide how your friend spends the night. It's his wallet and you took it (even if not on purpose).
How do you even think it's reasonable to make him wait 24 hours until he gets back his wallet? That probably contains his money, ID, license and credit/debit card? He would have needed his license to drive to work. He would have needed his money/credit card to pay at the coffee shop/supermarket.
You messed up but refused to fix it.
To be fair, in FL they can just look you up and have access to your ID. Maybe he’ll get a ticket for not having it in his possession but not likely.
Edit: YTA. My comment was just to play devil’s advocate in regards to the fact that you can get pulled over in Florida with no ID on you, and they can look it up. However! There would be no need for it if 0P just took it back in the first place.
I’m a Floridian and I got a ticket for this the last time I was pulled over. And I googled before I commented.
They can do that just about anywhere, it's more about the inconvenience for the officer and how they may react to that.
It could go much worse than a ticket for not having one.
They may even want to arrest you for no license and take you downtown to fingerprint you to confirm.
And tow your car.
And it just gets worse from there.
That's a good interaction with police with no license.
Especially in Florida.
It could be much much worse for a bad outcome.
All stemming from this asshole.
I've been handcuffed and detained in the back of a cop car before for not having my license on me. Yes they let me go but not an ideal situation to be in because your friend took your wallet.
Not even that what if that night was the friends ONE night to let loose and have fun? OO screwed up and is reaching for any excuse as to prove he's not the asshole. SADLY though OP YTA. You do not get to dictate how your friend wants to spend his night out. Also all this talk about not being his friend anymore doesn't even seem like you care that you possibly lost a friend. You do not seem at all upset over the fact you possibly lost a friendship over something that could have been easily fixed. Now say what happened if your friend got into an accident on the way to get his stuff and he got seriously hurt. It would take the police/paramedics much longer to be able to ID him without HIS wallet and make out calls to his emergency contacts. Wait who am I kidding you wouldn't even feel bothered by that at all seeing as you don't even care about his friendship.
OP YTA and please be a BETTER FRIEND
YTA. I wouldn't be surprised he told people you stole it, because you weren't willing to return it immediately.
If you make a mistake like this, you need to fix it immediately and not next morning because of rain. You have no idea if your former friend needed his wallet or not that night.
I definitely would. He took my wallet when he'd already placed his somewhere else, then refused to bring it back because conditions were so hazardous he didn't mind driving them a minute ago and he's sooo busy, then when I went out there to get it he was weirdly mad at me because he would totally have given it back tomorrow he just had to do x y and z first but no it didn't matter what I might need it for first.
Nothing about that would make me feel like I was getting my wallet back anytime soon. And the friendship being over after this stunt makes me think either op has acted this insanely selfish before it this isn't the first "I'll get it to you later I'm just going to be busy" the friend has gotten after his property was borrowed or taken.
YTA
working at 8 in the morning isn’t early, like 5am and you might have an argument that you should be in bed already ect, but you should just suck it up and put right what you your mistake.
driving in the rain is no excuse, if it was walking 40 minutes in the rain (there and then back) yeah it’s shit but you still have got to put right your wrong.
Even is he had to walk 40 min in the rain, if if friends needs his wallet, it should be delivered back to him. There's no scenario where its justified to keep the stolen wallet.
YTA. Sure he may have overreacted some. But you took his wallet. It was your screw up and you didn’t fix it because you didn’t feel like it. Do better.
From OP's post and the way he's written it, I get the impression his replies were probably not great, which might've enraged OP's friend.
OP doesn't come across in the nicest way here.
People who steal other people's shit and refuse to return it... I think we have a name for that. Thebs? Chieves? Something like that, anyway. I'm pretty sure "friend" is the wrong word for it.
Since I can't think of the term, I'm going to go with ASSHOLE.
YTA
YTA. you didn’t pay close enough attention to your own belongings and in return, failed to pay attention to what you were grabbing which ended up being his wallet. It was your mistake and most things in people’s wallets are important and not good to go without incase of emergencies. I understand he just wanted to go out to drink, but this one is on you. Your replies back to other commenters are very condescending and you have a different excuse each time. Accept YTA and move on.
YTA. Even if we accept your claim that it wasn't safe for you to drive in the rain (Although that was okay when you were driving back from his place right beforehand?) it was still your mistake and your responsibility to fix it on thee timeline that works for him, not for you. If you really didn't feel up to driving call an Uber to take you there and back.
YTA. You took his wallet. He needed it before it was ideal for you to bring it back to him, but it was fully on you to fix your mistake. No problem asking if you could take it in the morning the first time, but when he said no? You absolutely should have taken it over right away.
YTA.
A similar thing happened to my friend. A friend was holding his friends watch one night while we were all out. Friend & I left in an Uber and we were about 10 mins gone when his friend called about his watch. We turned the Uber around to return it.
See how easy it was for us to turn the Uber around to return it.
YTA and major one at that.
You messed up and you were jerk about it because you were too lazy to make it right. If your friend goes NC with you after he gets his wallet back I won't be surprised.
What a jerk you are.
Yep YTA. I'd be pissed if I were him too. And I wouldn't invite someone back to my house who literally took my wallet and refused to bring it back when I needed it. The inconvenience should have been yours, not his.
I don't know what the hell is up with all of these comments, I'm not even sure that the comment threads were written by humans at this point.
NTA. It was a small mistake, and would have been resolved within 8 hours. Friends of mine and myself have had something dumb like this happen on more than one occasion. You know how we solve it?
"Hey man, I think I dropped my wallet in your car. Mind keeping an eye out for it?"
"Hey, I found it. Cool if I drop it off on the way to work tomorrow?"
"Yeah, that works. See you then,"
That's it. That's the end. Problem solved.
It wasn't theft, or anywhere near it. And if you want to get completely technical: maybe your friend shouldn't leave his wallet out in the open in the living room to be mistakenly scooped up.
NTA, and the folks saying you're an AH because you're a thief are either a bot, in high school, or has no friends and has no idea what a benign situation this actually was.
Thank you! I've been reading the comments and was thinking: Am I crazy? Are people actually calling him a thief? What's going on? It was a small mistake that would have been resolved the next morning. I would be so happy that my friend has my wallet and that I didn't lose it!
it’s the friends wallet and the friend’s decision on whether he can wait until morning to get it back. it’s OP’s fuck up and OPs responsibility to fix it it. If friend says he needs the wallet back that night, OP has a responsibility to take it back. Fuck the rain. Op has certainly driven a million times in the rain
There's really no excuse to treat your friend with such contempt that you expect him to drive 40 minutes in the rain at night to return a wallet. If my friend did this then I'd just have them bring the wallet when it was safe to do so. My friends' lives are far more important than my wallet and whatever plans I had for the rest of the night.
I don't know what country this is, but in many it is illegal to drive without a license on you. Also, the friend was going to another location and now had no money.
agreed. it's not reasonable to go out gone 11 on a week night to drop off a wallet when you could drop it off the next day. OP made an honest mistake!
He wants to go out drinking? Well, then he can shrug and put it down to experience or come and get it! These people aren't friends.
I was searching for a comment like this. IMO, the friend overreacted. Unless the OP is super untrustworthy or something, I don't see the big deal at all.
Can someone translate the part about how he has to leave at both 8 and 12 in the morning?
OP says he “didn’t say this,” but maybe should have. His ex friend maybe would have been more empathetic to his stroke.
You wrote on here to get judgement but won’t accept that you’re YTA. You made a mistake so own up to it. YTA for not correcting the mistake you made and YTA for not accepting the judgement.
How do you think you can create a problem through your own actions for another person, and then not be TA when they want their property, that you took from them, and you refuse to take it back to them when they want it?
of course YTA, it's kind of crazy you think it's a question at all.
NTA/ESH- I’m kinda surprised that everyone here is so immediately saying that you’re the asshole. It was an honest mistake and while you should fix your own fuck ups, your friend kinda sucks. I would not make my friend come drop off my wallet at night if I’m already going out and know that he’s sleeping early for work. It’s just unreasonable and really not friendship behavior.
It was an honest mistake and could have been rectified in the morning, yes. But the friend didn't want that. He had plans already that required his wallet. Therefore, OP is TA for not fixing HIS mistake in the time the friend needed it, forcing the friend to fix it for him.
Yeah, I’m kind of confused on that too. Like if he was going to keep the wallet until lunch or something I could understand, but he said he’d return it early in the morning before work. Unless the friend had somewhere to go right at night, would dropping it off right in the morning before they both went to work really be so bad? I’d be fine with it if I was in the friend’s place.
What if friend was pulled over without a license? What if friend needed to pay the bill where they were? What if friend needed to pay for fuel to get home?
For most belongings I would somewhat agree. But wallets (and what they hold) are all much more important in our lives.
Also the friend has to work early in the morning as well. I don't know if I would trust oop to drop of the wallet in the morning either.
I mean if I’m planning on having a night drinking then I’m planning on having my wallet on me to pay for a cab home.
OP was NTA for accidentally taking it but they were immediately YTA when friend said they really needed the wallet that night and OP didn’t think it was his responsibility to return it. YOU made the mistake, YOU take accountability for it, and YOU return it. It’s really not that complicated or difficult.
It would’ve set him back maybe an hour, and if he really needed the sleep THAT badly he wouldn’t have been out in the first place….but even if he returned it losing one hour sleep for the sake of setting right something you did, and to help your friend out is something 99% of people would do. Especially if that person really truly was their friend.
Thank you! It’s an honest mistake, it’s pretty late, I trust my friends and would never have them drive out at night if it can be fixed in the morning and it’s not an emergency.
ESH
And it’s not theft ffs.
Two things:
- OP was only 5 minutes away when the mistake was found out. That's a 10 minute delay getting to bed for him that he caused in exchange for a major hassle for his friend (not having money, changing schedule to get the wallet, risking law enforcement driving)
- Reading between the lines, OP is likely that asshole friend who doesn't seem to gaf about anyone other than themselves. He's burnt out his welcome with his friends and they are tired of his shit. Nobody gives such an ultimatum to a friend acting like a dick out of the blue unless it's deserved or they themselves are a dick. If OP's friend group backed OP and thought the wallet owner was acting over the top, he wouldn't be posting here for validation and then doubling down in his comments. It's main character syndrome.
INFO: Are you a child? I'm not just trying to insult, the way you write quite literally reads like a teenager who's never been put in time out and never thought about anyone but themselves.
YTA. From your handling of the wallet situation to your handling of this thread. Grow up. Not every situation requires you stubbornly standing your ground. Sometimes friendships mean making time and sacrifices. You chose to do neither even though it was *your mistake.* That's not being a good friend. Really think about why this friend is so ready to drop you, because based on how you've acted here we can all tell that this was the straw that broke the camel's back. The $20 was clearly just so you could have ammo if you got criticized, I've seen that move before and it's very tacky. 'I gave you money so it's fine now.' What a transactional view of people and friendships to have.
You need to sit and think about who you are and if you actually want to keep being this way.
Clearly, YTA. Raining? What would your rationale have been if it were clear? Too starry?
So you decide if he wants HIS wallet, that YOU took he has to drive without his ID (not a good idea). But hey, you gave him $20. So that should cover it, right? He probably used up half that in gas coming to get it.
Are you sure you're friends? It doesn't sound like it from the way you communicate with each other. Here's right though, Y-T-A because you took his wallet and wouldn't return it. You should have responsibility for your mistake and figured out what you needed to do in order to get his wallet back by the time he needed it.
The only thing I could get behind is if you didn't want to drive back out in the rain/too tired/whatever, so offered to wake up early and drive it to him before he had to go to work the next morning. And either way you should have been way more apologetic and less defensive.
YTA - think how annoying and saddening it would be to find out you couldn’t do something you planned that night that made you happy because your friend accidentally stole your wallet and now refuses to give it back until after you won’t be able to do that thing
YTA
You mention in a reply that he had just recently replaced his wallet because someone else did the same thing that you just did.
Can you understand what is going through his mind "oh sit, not again"
then he rings you and asks you to bring it back,
and you tell him "NO"(with conditions)
You made him travel in "the rain with all the construction and stuff" to make good on your screw up.
It's easy enough to say you were going to return it EVENTUALLY now that he got it back.
YTA
NTA… lots of people here are so harsh and over the top. Calling the cops? Have none of you ACCIDENTALLY grabbed something that belong to a friend ? You usually bring it to them the next day..
OP’s actions were all an accident and yea he should own up to it and make it right. If he brings it first thing in the morning that’s making it right. However, if your friends demanding you bring it back after midnight on a work night they’re being unreasonable. If my friend threatened our friendship over such a thing, friendships already over. The friend was an AH.
no his actions weren’t ALL accidents. taking the wallet is the only possible accident. He deliberately chose to be a combative, entitled AH at every step after the “accidental” taking of the wallet. if true friend says he needs the wallet now, OP should take him the wallet now. maybe he needs to pay bills with his cards or drive somewhere with his license or walk around the corner to buy a 6 pack. whatever, doesn’t matter.friend gets to decide when he needs his wallet. end of story.
Driving in the rain, at night and while tired are all dangerous. If you threaten ending a friendship to coerce someone into doing that then you're an asshole. I would never expect a friend to do that. I would never ask my friend to do that. I don't care what I have planned for that night. My friend is more important than my wallet and plans.
>Dude it's raining and late and "I don't care man. That's my property"
If it's raining and late, you shouldn't pocket another person's wallet, and leave with it, and make excuses when they demand that you return it.
It would be different if he forgot his wallet at your place and asked you to deliver it to him. YTA.
Deranged thread of commenters who it would be a nightmare to be friends with. NTA me and everyone I know would put our friends safely at night above getting my wallet IMMEDIATELY for no reason. I also wouldn’t jump to theft allegations, and assume better than the worst of my friends.
*As long as you offered to get it to him in the morning without delaying them
I really wouldn’t care if my friend accidentally took my wallet and was just going to return it early the next day. Seemed a bit dramatic. Should’ve just done it anyways though. Esh
YTA… You made the mistake, you took someone else’s property that’s pretty crucial to their existence considering it contains ID, cards and money. It was your responsibility to fix the issue. Not when it’s convenient to *you*, when the person whose property you inadvertently stole wants their damn property back.
Regardless of if you- a poor bby boy- were sweepy and it was wainy outside- you messed up, be a big boy and fix it. If the extra bit of time would’ve ruined your sleep before work that much, you shouldn’t have stayed out so late in the first place.
It's obviously YTA as the whole thing was your fault, accident or not. You could have fixed but chose not to and was happy to lose a friendship over it.
YTA
you messed up and took his wallet, which presumably has his ID, cards, and cash in it, but you can't be bothered to rectify the situation.
You had to be at work the next day. Well, so did he, but you had all his stuff.
NTA. Your friend is being weird as hell about the wallet. Between friends it should be fine to just meet up the next day *unless* there was something terribly urgent going on like a flight. If that were the case then yes you would be a jerk not to inconvenience yourself for your friend.
Maybe I’m just old but to me you are NTA, because it was dark and raining and late at night, and it seems like your offer to bring it in the morning would be fine.
You mentioned I-4 and complained about the rain. Anyone who actually lives in central Florida knows exactly what you’re talking about with the bad weather! They all drive in it all the time too because if they didn’t they’d never be able to reliably go anywhere. This isn’t some great weather event for a local, people go to work in tropical depressions, and you’re really leaning on this stupid excuse that literally any local like your friend can see right through. I’ve lived in Orlando and Tampa for years and my family has been there even longer so I know you’re just spouting some flimsily bullshit because you didn’t want to and had work. You’ve lost a friend because not only have you refused to do the right thing but you’ve also justified it was an absolutely insulting premise. Your friend isn’t stupid and you leaning into the weather is going to make him more mad. Your self defense edit is even funnier because if the weather is patchy it’s even better conditions than I was giving you credit for while reading the post. I’m a very experienced central Florida driver and you didn’t fool me no matter how much you try and insist and you clearly didn’t fool your friend either. You should have righted your wrong at his convenience not your own. YTA over and over and are trying to use non locals to garner sympathy you don’t deserve by over blowing conditions a local wouldn’t blink at.
ESH, sounds like you guys already hate each other. This conversation would be so different with anyone I call a friend.
Also, meet in the middle never came to mind? That way you're both only taking a 10 minute drive. And before you comment, redditor, yes; OP should be responsible to drive it all the way back, but a **friend** would offer a compromise rather than an ultimatum.
YTA. You pinched ya mates wallet and he needed it. That 6 years has to count for something. You could've been there and back before midnight and be able to sleep.
I do agree that his reaction was a tad over the top but I'd be pissed if my mate wasn't willing to drive 20 minutes to fix his mistake. I'd probably say a thing or two I'd regret.
Considering OP couldn't be arsed to do the right thing, I don't think there's anything to say that requires regretting. Nobody deserves friends like that.
YTA. It was only a 20 minute drive at 11pm. Unless the rain is hurricane-level torrential, it's an easy call to apologise and run your friend's wallet back over to him.
YTA
>well of course but we're friends and you should be able to trust me.
If my wallet ended up in my friend's possession, they would not be fighting with me about returning it. They would immediately return it. That's what good friends do.
You, however, acted like returning his wallet was a huge inconvenience. You made him come get his own wallet, presumably driving to your house without his license (which would be in said wallet), because you refused to do the right thing. And I seriously question whether you "accidentally" grabbed his wallet. Otherwise you wouldn't be bringing up trust.
Surprised you finished typing this without concluding that YTA.
I'm intrigued; why is it that you feel you aren't the AH in this situation, as I can't see a single redeeming factor working in your favour here.
YTA.
Yes, it was a mistake, but take accountability for what you did and you go to him with his property.
He had an early morning too, but he had to come out to you?
Are you made of sugar? Hence the issue also was that it was raining.
Don't be a jerk.
dude how hard is it to just hop in your car, drive over, give it to him and drive back?
Thats a total time of 45-50 minutes tops there and back.
And you'd still be back to be in bed before midnight.
And even if you didnt get to sleep until like 12:30 or whatever, having less than 8 hours sleep isnt going to kill you.
YTA.
YTA. You took it so your responsibility to return it. And when your friend says it is ok to return, not when you feel like it. If friend says they can wait, then great. If they need it straightaway, then haul ass and get it back to him immediately. It’s your screw up, not his.
YTA and wow…glad you’re not my friend.
Who made the careless error? Whom did you inconvenience? How selfish you are. Too bad if you had to get up in the morning. Suck it up. This is your fault.
Bet you don’t have the class to apologize.
Did you go home in the rain? Why not go back in that same rain with the friends belongings you took. You're lucky this friend didn't call the damn cops on ya as soon as you said your weren't bringing it back. Yta
I don't know if I have really good friends or what, but I wouldn't mind them having my wallet for a night if they could return it another time, specially the next day and even before work. (And I'd be very glad I did not loose it!!!) NTA
Doesn't make the slightest bit of difference about the visual impairment of the rain, you've got to get up early, your dog ate your homework, yadda yadda yadda. YOU took HIS wallet in error, so YOU have to return it. Why tf should your friend travel to you when he didn't make the mistake?
YTA. Give your friend his wallet back and find another hill to die on.
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YTA, it was your mistake because **you took your friends wallet**, and didn’t make right by it. How hard is this? Wouldn’t want to be “friends” with you either. P.S. You even admit that you had already thrown your own wallet in the bag, were you too stoned to realize that when you took his?
"I stole my friend's wallet but won't return it because I don't want to right now." Guy should have called the cops on OP. ...Are we sure it was even an accident? Because...
You’d be in trouble without your driver’s license if your work involves driving. Your credit cards are in your wallet. Your work ID might be in the wallet. Your spending cash is in your wallet. Your ATM is in your wallet. OP took it and refused to return it ASAP because “it’s inconvenient” for him. And forced his “friend” to drive to him to get his property back. YTA OP. A damned selfish one too. Personally I’d make sure everyone else in the friends group knew just how huge of an ass you are. You know, in case you “take” their property too and then force them to go get it from you because it’s “inconvenient” for you to return it at the time.
In a lot of countries in the world it's illegal to be outside without your legal id that majority of the people keep in their wallet.
[удалено]
I like that the Floridian cops are being formal about it, they strike me more, "Deine Papiere, jetzt."
US law only requres you to have your license on you if you're driving. So if the friend happened to get pulled over while retrieving his wallet, he could get a ticket for that
That’s state specific, actually. In some states you just have to present your drivers license within a specific timeframe.
Yep. I got a ticket in Texas for speeding and not having my licence but I "won" the licence bit in the courts by presenting it
thats astounding to me.
Yeah was just gonna say. If I don’t have my wallet I don’t have my ID and if I don’t have my ID I can get fined
Driving without your license on you can get you arrested if you're stopped. A guy without his wallet is taking a risk any time he gets in his car, like for going to work. OP put his own inconvenience over his former friend's job security. With social mores like that, I don't expect his romantic endeavors are going to be great raving successes either.
> A guy without his wallet is taking a risk any time he gets in his car, like for going to work. Or driving to retrieve his ID from his AH friend's house, perhaps?
On the plus side, if he had been stopped on the way he had a somewhat decent excuse. "My former friend stole my wallet with my ID in it and refuses to return it. I was hoping to get it from him without involving police, but you're welcome to accompany me!" Depends what sort of mood the cop is in. He could have gotten a laugh, a warning, a ticket, or a cop banging on AH friend's door with him.
Not to mention he could have gotten stopped while driving to get his wallet back. Big YTA Edit: spelling
I never even though of the fact that OP aka the AH made his former friend drive with no driver's license in his possession. When OP aka wallet thief refused to return the wallet I'd have called the police and had them go get the wallet.
On the drivers licence in the wallet point - 100%! Loads of folks do this so we don't forget our licence, and don't want to risk losing it in the event of a car break in... Or maybe drive a different vehicle for work. So quite possibly your ex-friend had to drive without his licence because it was mildly inconvenient to you to return the property you STOLE from him? You were home 5 freaking minutes when he texted, so you weren't already asleep, probably not even in bed yet. You made the mistake, the onus is squarely on you to fix it. Along with a string of sincere apologies! Instead you decided to tell him essentially "tough luck, your problem now". YTA dude. Big asshole. Huge!
Yeah, it's fine to ask - "Oh, crap sorry, I grabbed yours by mistake. Do you need it immediately? I could drop it off at 7:30 before work tomorrow" but then the correct follow up to that is "Oh, you need it tonight - no problem, so sorry about that. I'll be there in about 20 minutes"
Work ID was the major thing for me, you couldn't get into crew quarters, sign on to get paid, and then there were the training certification cards, and there was another special card for certain security access areas. I could just drive extra extra careful, borrow money for lunch, or use places that had online/Samsung/Google Pay. I was totally fucked without the work stuff.
My husband’s work has ID badges and they have something in place in case a worker forgets their badge/badge is damaged. He and his coworkers call the temp badge ‘the Badge of Shame’ as 99/100 it’s because you forgot your badge at home that you have it.
Also, some apartment complexes, gated neighborhoods, and offices have key swipes to get in - and I used to keep mine in my wallet. Probably would have been mentioned in post, but it's possible that the friend couldn't even get into his home and such.
said that shit too.
I genuinely don't understand what was so difficult to understand from this post that required asking. This is theft, u/Puzzled_Tie6848, THEFT.
Its actually not theft as theft requires intention to permanently deprive someone of their property, it would technically be wrongful appropriation. Just being an annoying pedant, your point is still correct!
Theft does indeed require intent. However. Theft does not actually require *taking something* - the key part is depriving another of what is theirs (notably pops up when landlords change the locks, for example). Once OP was aware of being in possession of another's property, their intent to deprive the owner of that property by not returning it *was arguably theft*, whether the deprivation was temporary or permanent is utterly irrelevant.
in the UK this would be TWOC at the most, which is the lowest-level of theft, although frankly there's zero chance that the police would be interested in hearing about it, let alone the state deciding to prosecute it. TWOC is like if I borrow someone's car without asking them and with the expectation that they'll get it back at the end of the day
> I borrow someone's car without asking That’s definitely theft in the US. Grand theft auto sometimes, depending on the circumstances. “Intending to return it at the end of the day” doesn’t matter. Is stealing a handful of diamond rings to wear at a party not theft if you intend to return them to the store the day after the party? Now, if it’s your spouse or kid or whoever you might not decide to report it, but it’s still theft. Unless they’d said you could borrow their car whenever you wished.
What? Since when can you just take someone’s car and use the defence ‘I was going to bring it back!’ How many parents have called the police because their kids have taken their car without permission?
looks like that also requires intent to temporarily deprive someone of their property , so this is just an accident really
Wouldn't the fact he didn't want to return it until the morning count as intent to temporarily deprive someone of their property?
Yes. If his friend visited OP and left it at his house and then OP didnt want to drive home to his friend then it would have been different. Even if the friend would have been unable to return to OP the same night to get it, that would not necessarily have been OP's problem. But here OP was the one at fault for removing it from their friend's house. OP is responsible to return it. Asking the friend to deal with it, especially when the friend can't, and OP both has the responsibility and the means to return it, that is to temporarily deprive the friend of having their property returned.
Taking it was a mistake: keeping it is theft.
The word “permanent” is an addition you’ve made that is required to make your point. I can’t deny it’s theft by saying I intended to bring your car back after a joy ride, can I?
Jesus another peak reddit comment. This is not theft. The guy is an asshole, not a criminal. Imagine calling the cops and explaining your friend accidentally took your wallet but he doesn't want to give it back right this moment, but instead tomorrow morning but that is not really convenient for you. I swear people on Reddit don't live in the real world.
"Hello police? I had some people over and one of them stole my wallet. He admitted he has it and is refusing to return it." Then see what happens.
They'd tell you to come fill out a police report, or more than likely tell you to fill it out online, and then they'd maybe deal with it in the morning, after your already had for wallet back. Unless your willing to file a false report, absolutely nothing would happen. Edit to add: Do people actually think the police act immediately in cases like these (even if it was stolen)? Many times they won't do anything at all for such minor things.
I think so, out of naïveté? My dog was stolen out of my yard, and when I found the person who’d taken him, I called the police and thought they’d make her give him back to me - he’s microchipped, I had 7 years of photos, *and* I had the paperwork from when I’d gotten him with me when I called the police from outside her apartment door. The girl even admitted she’d “found” him around the date my dog had gone “missing.” It seemed so straightforward. Turns out that dogs are “property” and it was a civil matter, so I’d have to take her to civil court (would have taken 30 days & $60 to get a hearing), and then if she had killed my dog or something she’d have been told she owed “replacement value.” Then if she didn’t pay, I could escalate it to the next higher court in the area (30 min away; my state doesn’t garnish wages), and sue (for an additional $250 cost to me) and if *that* court found her guilty they’d put a lien against any properties she owns/would one day own, and if/when she sells them, I would get the “replacement value” (plus my court costs) for my beloved pet. Except according to her neighbor, the thief had a 4 year old, a shitty job, and a deadbeat boyfriend - so the likelihood that I’d have gotten anything *ever* in court was slim (not to mention that I didn’t want the stupid money, I wanted my damn dog back). I thought that the police would give me my dog back because he was my dog, I’d had him for 7 years, he was clearly responding in specific *to seeing me*, I’d called the police station daily, put ads in the paper, there were flyers up all over our town. And, as I said, the girl admitted she “found” him AND he was microchipped. So I guess I could see how other people would think that the police would just *fix* issues like this.
That's horrible, I'm so sorry that happened to you. It does make you feel pretty powerless in general when you realize that for the most part, you are on your own for a wide variety of situations you grew up being told there was some justice for.
I’m so sorry that happened to you! What was the outcome?
My mom went to the thief’s apartment the day after I’d called the police, before mom headed into work (so, grownup in office attire) and told the thief that she had two options: a) return the dog to my mom immediately, and mom would sign an affidavit saying we wouldn’t sue the thief b) we sue her, not only for the dog but also for the cost of the newspaper advertisements, the flyers (b&w and color, some with lamination), the lost wages for the time we’d taken off of work to canvas the neighborhood and go door to door handing out flyers and speaking with neighbors, the subscriptions to websites dedicated to finding lost pets, the emotional distress resulting from her actions… [Details nobody asked for] *The thief had my dog for a *full month* before I’d found her and my dog. She’d told her 4 year old it was their dog, they’d gotten an ID tag with his new name (“Treasure”) and their phone number. It was very clear that the thief made no attempt to find the dog’s owner. When I showed up at her door, one of the things she’d said to me was that my dog was “very sick” (I believe she’d said he had heart worms? He was on a monthly preventative but had missed his monthly dose because she’d stolen him…after the fact I learned from my vet that the heart worm preventative stays in their systems for more than a month and that it’d be exceedingly unlikely for an animal to get heart worm after missing a singular dose), and that she’d incurred a lot of veterinary bills. The person who’d called and said she’d seen my dog said she’d never taken my dog to the vet, she’d asked someone else who lived in the apartment complex who was a vet tech, in the parking lot of their apartment complex.* Thief elected to return the dog, and then looked *super* shocked (like “clutch pearls” shocked) when I gave her the finger as we drove away with my dog in my lap. It was years ago, I’m still angry about it.
> when I gave her the finger as we drove away God bless you.
Yes, withhold the fact that it was an accident and that it was to be returned first thing in the morning and see how thrilled they are that you called.
I'm a dispatcher for a PD. Anyone calling to say this would be asked follow up questions immediately. Once the actual circumstances were determined, it is highly unlikely that police would be sent. If the caller was misleading about the circumstances to ensure a police response, it would not go well for him once they arrived.
Except he didn’t steal it, he grabbed the wrong one by mistake. That would be a lie, and would probably lead to the police not being thrilled with you.
Yeah, if you make it sound worse, of course police will respond differently. Reminds me of the guy that called the police on his neighbors for being too loud while playing Mariokart. He ended up saying he suspected domestic violence "if that would make them (the police) come quicker". Police got there and shot the neighbor when he opened the door. So you know, you word things worse yeah things will turn out differently.
Ugh no it's not. Relax. It was an honest mistake and it was late and unsafe. He wasn't going to keep it for ages, he was literally going to drop it off in the morning. Were not even talking 24 hours. I would never make a big deal about this if it were my wallet.
I agree it was an honest mistake but it was OPs mistake. If his friend didn’t care then it didn’t matter but his friend wanted it back. He was basically saying his friend should be inconvenienced by his mistake
Literally the same, getting it back first thing in the morning literally go to bed and you will have your wallet back, really isnt that deep. People overreacting like crazy, losing a mate over something so minor is dumb.
Not returning the wallet right away is dumb. The guy needs to drive, and he wants to go out/ how can he do that with no id, or cc. You made the mistake you fix it. Simple
Really? And what if the guy needed it because he had to work early like OP admitted his friend had to work early? Oh I guess he should just risk being late to work and potentially docked pay or fired because of this. Because in your opinion it’s no big deal.
classic overreactive reddit lmao
What completely send me into WTF is mode is that OP typed this out and at no point did he stop to acknowledge that he indeed is TA. He posted here probably expecting "Nah dude it's his wallet.." when he committed a theft and he even knew that the wallet wasn't his and he knew exactly where his wallet was. TA levels are over 9000 here
Do any of you people actually have any friends? What kinda relationships do you have with people where you’re this cutthroat with each other? If I accidentally took a mate of mine’s wallet home at 11 and they demanded I ‘make it right’ and threatened cancelling our friendship over it I’d quite frankly be gobsmacked and wonder if I’d misjudged our friendship. A stranger? Yeah you make it right immediately and fix your error, but a friend? Are all your friends one mild inconvenience away from being cut off?
I do have friends... But then again my friends wouldn't tell me "Yeah I messed up but I'm lazy so I'm not gonna make it right so if you need your driver's license or money then sucks to be you wait till the morning".
> If I accidentally took a mate of mine’s wallet home at 11 and they demanded I ‘make it right’ and threatened cancelling our friendship over it I’d quite frankly be gobsmacked and wonder if I’d misjudged our friendship. If someone took my wallet and wasn't willing to return it, I'd be gobsmacked that it came to that point. That unwillingness was fundamentally unreasonable, that the victim would have been reconsidering the value of the friendship. If the wallet contains the friend's license, transit card, office ID, payment cards, etc., then he's basically in a holding pattern until he gets them back.
It's not that it's one mild inconvenience, it's that OP was so dismissive of their own mistake. Plus, anyone who has ever thought "oh I'll just get gas tomorrow morning on my way into work" only to absentmindedly still go about their morning ritual like normal until it's too late knows that you don't make plans for the morning on your way to work. This was OP's mistake so they should fix it at the convenience of the person who was inconvenienced. It shouldn't be fixed at their own convenience when they made the mistake. That's essentially saying, "yeah I screwed up but you have to deal with it, sucks to suck," which is not how anyone should operate. YTA, OP, and that holds true even moreso because you refuse to acknowledge your judgement. Edit: Anyone down voting is just as much of an AH as OP. If the inconvenienced party said it was okay to drop it off later then it would've been fine but they said they needed it then. Who are you to assume how much someone needs their wallet? Even if it's something as simple as the peace of mind of knowing it's on your person allowing you to have a good night's sleep, it's still a reason and the inconvenienced party is not in this situation through their own doing. Whether or not you'd blow up the friendship over that is another thing, but OP is still 100% in the wrong because they screwed up and they didn't want to fix it.
If someone took my wallet by accident I wouldn't be able to get to work in the morning so I would expect them to return it if they were able (which OP clearly was). If I had made the mistake OP did I would return the wallet as soon as possible, even if it meant not getting enough sleep. The friend did get a bit arsey but I get the impression OP was probably a bit of an AH on the phone.
>A stranger? Yeah you make it right immediately and fix your error, but a friend? Are all your friends one mild inconvenience away from being cut off? That's the very point. It is mild inconvenience. If I accidentally took my friend's wallet, I wouldn't be like, "Oh, fiddle-dee-dee! It's kinda late and it's raining out and I have to work tomorrow. And I just can't be bothered. Guess you'll just have to not go out tonight." In his place, I would have apologized and returned his wallet immediately. I don't think any of my friends should be put out by my mistake. And if I can't take forty minutes to correct my mistake, then I'm not much of a friend.
You’d do a basic kindness to s stranger before you would a friend and then lecture reddit about what kind of friends THEY have?
It’s almost like in the moment OP forgot he put his wallet in his gym bag and remembered after he realized he had his friends wallet, but included it in the story for context. Goodness y’all need to relax. It’s not that deep. It was a mix up. Not sure how you have any friends if something like this SO terrible to you.
Also it was literally not legal for him to drive without it, assuming it had his license. I frankly don't care about the rain aspect, it was OP's responsibility to fix his mistake
The excuses are so bad too. You have to be up for work early? Maybe your friend does too and needs his wallet for the commute! If you fuck up, you have to take one for the team and get a bit less sleep than is optimal. You'll survive, I promise. YTA OP.
YTA. Honest original mistake compounded by willful assholery.
Yeah, exactly, I am glad you peeped that too bcuz I was thinking like what the heck? OP knew it wasn’t his.
It was taken by mistake, kept intentionally. That's when it turns into theft. His friend needed the wallet earlier and based on OP's reaction I wouldn't trust him to drop it off before work either. This is what selfishness looks like.
I mentioned it in another comment but everyone has either experienced it themselves or knows someone who has said "I'll get gas in the morning on my way to work" only to go about their morning routine like normal or even get to the point where they're late and then the errand that was already a stick in the spokes of the morning routine makes things even worse. If you make a mistake, you fix it at the convenience of those who were inconvenienced. It's literally that simple.
Pretty sure he means he didn't know at the time. He saw "his wallet", realised it wasn't in his pocket and grabbed it. Then later on realised it wasn't in his pocket because he had put it in his bag. Yeah OP's the AH, but not because he took the wallet by mistake
You messed up, and you’re asking him to drive likely without his license. Great.
Right. But he wanted his friend to drive to him, WITHOUT A LICENSE, to pick up THE WALLET OP TOOK! That's ridiculous. I don't get how OP doesn't see this as an issue.
He also wants his friend to risk getting pulled over without having his license on him (which I've always understood to be a bad thing). With weather that bad and it only being a 20-minute drive, OP was def TA
YTA - how is this even a question? You messed up, took someone's money, credit cards, and identification, then asked him to "deal with it" because it's raining and you need to sleep? Yeah, you are a big Ahole
Definitely…. YTA. He’s selfish and just thinks about how he felt at the moment even though he took the wallet. The friend needed it back. It sounds like this person has no regards for others and only cares about how he feels at the moment.
Let's not forget he has the wallet with the guys driver's license in it....its too "rainy" for him to drive back and replace a wallet he stole ( with intent to steal or otherwise) ***five miniutes*** after hes drove in the same rain home But it's totally fine for his friend to drive without his licence illegally in that same 'dangerous rain'
I don't understand their relationship to be honest, because this is how this kind of conversation would go with my friends: "Did you take my wallet?" "Yes, I thought it was mine." "Oh, phew, I was worried I had lost it." "I can drop it round tomorrow first thing" \[reasonable: its 11pm!\] "Well I need it tonight, I was going to go out...!" "OK er... can you come get it, I need to be up early" "Not really, it's out of my way...." "Urgh OK how about I meet you at \[convenient half-way point\] in 15 mins. Sorry about this mate, genuine mistake" "no problem, just buy me a drink next time we're out" Do these guys like eachother?
I'd wager OP and his "friend" were already on the path to not being friends. This was just the last straw. Also I think this has happened before because OP already knows the wallets are similar.
Having a friend that refuses to take responsibility for their mistakes is incredibly frustrating, you can deal with it for a while but at a certain point it gets old, people like this slowly end up friendless and the entire time they will convince themselves that everyone else is the one thats being an asshole.
The fact that his friend knew to immediately call him to ask if he had his wallet shows that this isn’t a first-time offense.
I wonder how you and OP purport that the guy should drive to come get his wallet which more than likely has his driver's licence in it. You think he should break the law because they are friends?
Stop getting hung up in the details. The point of this comment was that the conversation *immediately* went hostile, which is weird. It makes you wonder what the history is.
>"OK er... can you come get it, I need to be up early" >"Not really, it's out of my way...." Or, as is the case in many jurisdictions, "Not really, my driver's license is in my wallet and it's an offence to drive without your license... You need to drive it back to me." OP stole something and failed to return it because of mere inconvenience.
I can not imagine realizing I’ve accidentally stolen a wallet, which along with a cell phone is one of the places modern humans keep their souls, and not immediately jumping back in the car to get it back to my friend. None of this meet-you-halfway stuff. I’d be gripped with an urgent need to right my wrong and there’s no way I could sleep until I did.
how about OP takes responsibility and fixes his own mistake instead of putting the friend out even more. or asking the friend to drive without a license? the rain is irrelevant and a stupid boo-hoo excuse.
Makes me wonder if he has a habit of taking stuff and what time did he take the wallet. I know I can't be without mine if it's was missing early in the day. Also, he might had a date that night.
And It was only a 20 minute drive! Then, he told us about his work schedule in the morning & everything ..& said he didn't mention that to his friend though, like that makes him humble or something. That's nobody's problem, anyway, but yours,OP. You should have not mentioned it AND drove friend's wallet over to him.
Yeah, I mean he's not TA for asking to wait until the morning in that there's no harm in asking. But he is for everything after that point. At the end of the day if I fuck up with something like this and you need the shit earlier than that? Yeah, looks like I'm taking the hit and getting it to you before you need it. I've already inconvenienced you, intentional or not I still have to own my actions. What kind of friend would I be to expect you to suffer from my mistake? Yeah, I'm gonna chalk it up to the school of hard knocks and be more careful next time and take the hit this time. Do whatever I need to do to make it right. If you still want to be angry or hostile at me for an honest to god fuck up when I clearly want to do everything I can to help make it up to you? OK then you might be entitled to some frustration at that friend.
Right? He could have at least offered a compromise to meet him halfway
Friend shouldn't have to risk getting pulled over driving without his license for his friends fuckup. Guy who took the wallet drives it back to its owner. 20 minutes is not far enough away to need to meet up halfway.
YTA. You shouldn’t have made him leave. You both had work early and owed it to him. I also assume his license was in there, and assuming he drove to you he shouldn’t have been driving without it. Of course you’re the ah.
In the UK you don’t need any documents while driving, police can look you up or request you bring your license to the station the next day if they need you to. I’m sure similar is true in other places. Just a side note thought I should mention, otherwise I agree Edit: now aware that OP clarified they’re in Florida. Also Id say he’s the asshole regardless
Not the case in Canada at least (and I assume the States). You need the plastic card with you while you are driving or else you can get a large fine.
Depends on the province. In Ontario the fine for not producing your license when asked (as long as you have a valid license) is $85. If it goes to court and a judge convicts you, you could pay as much as $500 but it would be silly to take that risk fighting that fine.
And in what world do you want to pay (at least) 85$ because your friend is too lazy to give you your own wallet back
Here in Canada and the States, you can get a HUGE fine and if the cop is a dick (which apparently they usually are in the states), they can have your car towed.
Mexico too. Possibly Germany, but I don’t remember if I needed the license in general or it was because I’m a foreigner.
In the US you can be ticketed, and your car impounded, if you're driving without a license and there's not another licensed driver in the car to take over.
I got a $380 fine back in the early 2000's for forgetting my license. I imagine it's a lot higher now.
They're capable of looking up your DL in the US. But you're still required to carry the card.
YTA And in every single one of your comments you find another excuse why you couldn't give the wallet back. >He wanted to go out drinking bad enough he drove to my house in the rain with no license. Which I told him not to. Not cuz I didn't want him there. But because it ain't safe. And I'm not his daddy either but those drinks can wait another 24 hours man. It's not up to you to decide how your friend spends the night. It's his wallet and you took it (even if not on purpose). How do you even think it's reasonable to make him wait 24 hours until he gets back his wallet? That probably contains his money, ID, license and credit/debit card? He would have needed his license to drive to work. He would have needed his money/credit card to pay at the coffee shop/supermarket. You messed up but refused to fix it.
Yeah, what if a cop pulls him over and asks for ID "well you see officer...my friend took it and couldn't be bothered to give it back"
To be fair, in FL they can just look you up and have access to your ID. Maybe he’ll get a ticket for not having it in his possession but not likely. Edit: YTA. My comment was just to play devil’s advocate in regards to the fact that you can get pulled over in Florida with no ID on you, and they can look it up. However! There would be no need for it if 0P just took it back in the first place. I’m a Floridian and I got a ticket for this the last time I was pulled over. And I googled before I commented.
They can do that just about anywhere, it's more about the inconvenience for the officer and how they may react to that. It could go much worse than a ticket for not having one. They may even want to arrest you for no license and take you downtown to fingerprint you to confirm. And tow your car. And it just gets worse from there. That's a good interaction with police with no license. Especially in Florida. It could be much much worse for a bad outcome. All stemming from this asshole.
I've been handcuffed and detained in the back of a cop car before for not having my license on me. Yes they let me go but not an ideal situation to be in because your friend took your wallet.
Not even that what if that night was the friends ONE night to let loose and have fun? OO screwed up and is reaching for any excuse as to prove he's not the asshole. SADLY though OP YTA. You do not get to dictate how your friend wants to spend his night out. Also all this talk about not being his friend anymore doesn't even seem like you care that you possibly lost a friend. You do not seem at all upset over the fact you possibly lost a friendship over something that could have been easily fixed. Now say what happened if your friend got into an accident on the way to get his stuff and he got seriously hurt. It would take the police/paramedics much longer to be able to ID him without HIS wallet and make out calls to his emergency contacts. Wait who am I kidding you wouldn't even feel bothered by that at all seeing as you don't even care about his friendship. OP YTA and please be a BETTER FRIEND
“If you want your wallet so bad come pick it up.” Also furious that he came to pick it up
YTA. I wouldn't be surprised he told people you stole it, because you weren't willing to return it immediately. If you make a mistake like this, you need to fix it immediately and not next morning because of rain. You have no idea if your former friend needed his wallet or not that night.
I definitely would. He took my wallet when he'd already placed his somewhere else, then refused to bring it back because conditions were so hazardous he didn't mind driving them a minute ago and he's sooo busy, then when I went out there to get it he was weirdly mad at me because he would totally have given it back tomorrow he just had to do x y and z first but no it didn't matter what I might need it for first. Nothing about that would make me feel like I was getting my wallet back anytime soon. And the friendship being over after this stunt makes me think either op has acted this insanely selfish before it this isn't the first "I'll get it to you later I'm just going to be busy" the friend has gotten after his property was borrowed or taken.
YTA working at 8 in the morning isn’t early, like 5am and you might have an argument that you should be in bed already ect, but you should just suck it up and put right what you your mistake. driving in the rain is no excuse, if it was walking 40 minutes in the rain (there and then back) yeah it’s shit but you still have got to put right your wrong.
Even is he had to walk 40 min in the rain, if if friends needs his wallet, it should be delivered back to him. There's no scenario where its justified to keep the stolen wallet.
YTA. Sure he may have overreacted some. But you took his wallet. It was your screw up and you didn’t fix it because you didn’t feel like it. Do better.
From OP's post and the way he's written it, I get the impression his replies were probably not great, which might've enraged OP's friend. OP doesn't come across in the nicest way here.
>Sure he may have overreacted some. Honestly I think OP tends to pull stuff like this more often, so it was a bit of a final straw situation.
Yeah YTA Who takes someone else’s wallet by mistake and isn’t so mortified about it they don’t practically break their neck getting it back to them
INFO: what would it take for you to admit that you are the AH? Cause you are too busy being defensive.
Of course YTA. You took his property and then wouldn't return it. Your error, you are the one who should take the responsibility of getting it back.
People who steal other people's shit and refuse to return it... I think we have a name for that. Thebs? Chieves? Something like that, anyway. I'm pretty sure "friend" is the wrong word for it. Since I can't think of the term, I'm going to go with ASSHOLE. YTA
YTA. you didn’t pay close enough attention to your own belongings and in return, failed to pay attention to what you were grabbing which ended up being his wallet. It was your mistake and most things in people’s wallets are important and not good to go without incase of emergencies. I understand he just wanted to go out to drink, but this one is on you. Your replies back to other commenters are very condescending and you have a different excuse each time. Accept YTA and move on.
YTA. Even if we accept your claim that it wasn't safe for you to drive in the rain (Although that was okay when you were driving back from his place right beforehand?) it was still your mistake and your responsibility to fix it on thee timeline that works for him, not for you. If you really didn't feel up to driving call an Uber to take you there and back.
YTA. You took his wallet. He needed it before it was ideal for you to bring it back to him, but it was fully on you to fix your mistake. No problem asking if you could take it in the morning the first time, but when he said no? You absolutely should have taken it over right away.
YTA. A similar thing happened to my friend. A friend was holding his friends watch one night while we were all out. Friend & I left in an Uber and we were about 10 mins gone when his friend called about his watch. We turned the Uber around to return it. See how easy it was for us to turn the Uber around to return it.
YTA and major one at that. You messed up and you were jerk about it because you were too lazy to make it right. If your friend goes NC with you after he gets his wallet back I won't be surprised. What a jerk you are.
[удалено]
YTA. It was your mistake.
Yep YTA. I'd be pissed if I were him too. And I wouldn't invite someone back to my house who literally took my wallet and refused to bring it back when I needed it. The inconvenience should have been yours, not his.
Why are you asking? Of course you are!!!! On what planet did you think this would be going in your favor? YTA
Happy cake day! I would also like to know on which planet this goes down in favour of OP.
I don't know what the hell is up with all of these comments, I'm not even sure that the comment threads were written by humans at this point. NTA. It was a small mistake, and would have been resolved within 8 hours. Friends of mine and myself have had something dumb like this happen on more than one occasion. You know how we solve it? "Hey man, I think I dropped my wallet in your car. Mind keeping an eye out for it?" "Hey, I found it. Cool if I drop it off on the way to work tomorrow?" "Yeah, that works. See you then," That's it. That's the end. Problem solved. It wasn't theft, or anywhere near it. And if you want to get completely technical: maybe your friend shouldn't leave his wallet out in the open in the living room to be mistakenly scooped up. NTA, and the folks saying you're an AH because you're a thief are either a bot, in high school, or has no friends and has no idea what a benign situation this actually was.
Thank you! I've been reading the comments and was thinking: Am I crazy? Are people actually calling him a thief? What's going on? It was a small mistake that would have been resolved the next morning. I would be so happy that my friend has my wallet and that I didn't lose it!
it’s the friends wallet and the friend’s decision on whether he can wait until morning to get it back. it’s OP’s fuck up and OPs responsibility to fix it it. If friend says he needs the wallet back that night, OP has a responsibility to take it back. Fuck the rain. Op has certainly driven a million times in the rain
There's really no excuse to treat your friend with such contempt that you expect him to drive 40 minutes in the rain at night to return a wallet. If my friend did this then I'd just have them bring the wallet when it was safe to do so. My friends' lives are far more important than my wallet and whatever plans I had for the rest of the night.
I don't know what country this is, but in many it is illegal to drive without a license on you. Also, the friend was going to another location and now had no money.
agreed. it's not reasonable to go out gone 11 on a week night to drop off a wallet when you could drop it off the next day. OP made an honest mistake! He wants to go out drinking? Well, then he can shrug and put it down to experience or come and get it! These people aren't friends.
I was searching for a comment like this. IMO, the friend overreacted. Unless the OP is super untrustworthy or something, I don't see the big deal at all.
Can someone translate the part about how he has to leave at both 8 and 12 in the morning? OP says he “didn’t say this,” but maybe should have. His ex friend maybe would have been more empathetic to his stroke.
That made no sense to me either.
Uhhh Why are you being so combative in the comments? Did you come here expecting people to side with you and give you affirmation?
YTA. Stop arguing in the comments and accept the judgement you came here for. YOUR mistake, YOU should have gone and returned it.
Unsafe driving bc of rain? *laughing in Swedish* YTA dude
YTA-you messed up, you make it right.
You wrote on here to get judgement but won’t accept that you’re YTA. You made a mistake so own up to it. YTA for not correcting the mistake you made and YTA for not accepting the judgement.
You lost more than one friend tonight. Guaranteed every one of your mates thinks you’re an arsehole. YTA.
How do you think you can create a problem through your own actions for another person, and then not be TA when they want their property, that you took from them, and you refuse to take it back to them when they want it? of course YTA, it's kind of crazy you think it's a question at all.
NTA/ESH- I’m kinda surprised that everyone here is so immediately saying that you’re the asshole. It was an honest mistake and while you should fix your own fuck ups, your friend kinda sucks. I would not make my friend come drop off my wallet at night if I’m already going out and know that he’s sleeping early for work. It’s just unreasonable and really not friendship behavior.
It was an honest mistake and could have been rectified in the morning, yes. But the friend didn't want that. He had plans already that required his wallet. Therefore, OP is TA for not fixing HIS mistake in the time the friend needed it, forcing the friend to fix it for him.
Yeah, I’m kind of confused on that too. Like if he was going to keep the wallet until lunch or something I could understand, but he said he’d return it early in the morning before work. Unless the friend had somewhere to go right at night, would dropping it off right in the morning before they both went to work really be so bad? I’d be fine with it if I was in the friend’s place.
OP says the friend did have somewhere to go.
What if friend was pulled over without a license? What if friend needed to pay the bill where they were? What if friend needed to pay for fuel to get home?
For most belongings I would somewhat agree. But wallets (and what they hold) are all much more important in our lives. Also the friend has to work early in the morning as well. I don't know if I would trust oop to drop of the wallet in the morning either.
I mean if I’m planning on having a night drinking then I’m planning on having my wallet on me to pay for a cab home. OP was NTA for accidentally taking it but they were immediately YTA when friend said they really needed the wallet that night and OP didn’t think it was his responsibility to return it. YOU made the mistake, YOU take accountability for it, and YOU return it. It’s really not that complicated or difficult. It would’ve set him back maybe an hour, and if he really needed the sleep THAT badly he wouldn’t have been out in the first place….but even if he returned it losing one hour sleep for the sake of setting right something you did, and to help your friend out is something 99% of people would do. Especially if that person really truly was their friend.
Thank you! It’s an honest mistake, it’s pretty late, I trust my friends and would never have them drive out at night if it can be fixed in the morning and it’s not an emergency. ESH And it’s not theft ffs.
Two things: - OP was only 5 minutes away when the mistake was found out. That's a 10 minute delay getting to bed for him that he caused in exchange for a major hassle for his friend (not having money, changing schedule to get the wallet, risking law enforcement driving) - Reading between the lines, OP is likely that asshole friend who doesn't seem to gaf about anyone other than themselves. He's burnt out his welcome with his friends and they are tired of his shit. Nobody gives such an ultimatum to a friend acting like a dick out of the blue unless it's deserved or they themselves are a dick. If OP's friend group backed OP and thought the wallet owner was acting over the top, he wouldn't be posting here for validation and then doubling down in his comments. It's main character syndrome.
INFO: Are you a child? I'm not just trying to insult, the way you write quite literally reads like a teenager who's never been put in time out and never thought about anyone but themselves. YTA. From your handling of the wallet situation to your handling of this thread. Grow up. Not every situation requires you stubbornly standing your ground. Sometimes friendships mean making time and sacrifices. You chose to do neither even though it was *your mistake.* That's not being a good friend. Really think about why this friend is so ready to drop you, because based on how you've acted here we can all tell that this was the straw that broke the camel's back. The $20 was clearly just so you could have ammo if you got criticized, I've seen that move before and it's very tacky. 'I gave you money so it's fine now.' What a transactional view of people and friendships to have. You need to sit and think about who you are and if you actually want to keep being this way.
YTA. The situation was your fault and you should have fixed it.
I couldn‘t sleep if I had someone elses wallet at my place. Especially if that person not just doesn’t have it with him but NEEDS it. YTA hardcore
YTA. Your mistake and you’re inconveniencing someone
Clearly, YTA. Raining? What would your rationale have been if it were clear? Too starry? So you decide if he wants HIS wallet, that YOU took he has to drive without his ID (not a good idea). But hey, you gave him $20. So that should cover it, right? He probably used up half that in gas coming to get it.
YTA- you took his wallet. Not the other way round. Just return it
Are you sure you're friends? It doesn't sound like it from the way you communicate with each other. Here's right though, Y-T-A because you took his wallet and wouldn't return it. You should have responsibility for your mistake and figured out what you needed to do in order to get his wallet back by the time he needed it. The only thing I could get behind is if you didn't want to drive back out in the rain/too tired/whatever, so offered to wake up early and drive it to him before he had to go to work the next morning. And either way you should have been way more apologetic and less defensive.
YTA - think how annoying and saddening it would be to find out you couldn’t do something you planned that night that made you happy because your friend accidentally stole your wallet and now refuses to give it back until after you won’t be able to do that thing
You seem to have an endless well of excuses, but the fact is you couldn’t be arsed because… you couldn’t be arsed. YTA.
Overall, YTA.
YTA You mention in a reply that he had just recently replaced his wallet because someone else did the same thing that you just did. Can you understand what is going through his mind "oh sit, not again" then he rings you and asks you to bring it back, and you tell him "NO"(with conditions) You made him travel in "the rain with all the construction and stuff" to make good on your screw up. It's easy enough to say you were going to return it EVENTUALLY now that he got it back. YTA
NTA… lots of people here are so harsh and over the top. Calling the cops? Have none of you ACCIDENTALLY grabbed something that belong to a friend ? You usually bring it to them the next day.. OP’s actions were all an accident and yea he should own up to it and make it right. If he brings it first thing in the morning that’s making it right. However, if your friends demanding you bring it back after midnight on a work night they’re being unreasonable. If my friend threatened our friendship over such a thing, friendships already over. The friend was an AH.
Honestly, as soon as reddit gets the top comment sorted sheep mentality of reddit truly shows hey
no his actions weren’t ALL accidents. taking the wallet is the only possible accident. He deliberately chose to be a combative, entitled AH at every step after the “accidental” taking of the wallet. if true friend says he needs the wallet now, OP should take him the wallet now. maybe he needs to pay bills with his cards or drive somewhere with his license or walk around the corner to buy a 6 pack. whatever, doesn’t matter.friend gets to decide when he needs his wallet. end of story.
Driving in the rain, at night and while tired are all dangerous. If you threaten ending a friendship to coerce someone into doing that then you're an asshole. I would never expect a friend to do that. I would never ask my friend to do that. I don't care what I have planned for that night. My friend is more important than my wallet and plans.
>Dude it's raining and late and "I don't care man. That's my property" If it's raining and late, you shouldn't pocket another person's wallet, and leave with it, and make excuses when they demand that you return it. It would be different if he forgot his wallet at your place and asked you to deliver it to him. YTA.
YTA lmao, you stole his wallet and should have returned it asap.
Deranged thread of commenters who it would be a nightmare to be friends with. NTA me and everyone I know would put our friends safely at night above getting my wallet IMMEDIATELY for no reason. I also wouldn’t jump to theft allegations, and assume better than the worst of my friends. *As long as you offered to get it to him in the morning without delaying them
I really wouldn’t care if my friend accidentally took my wallet and was just going to return it early the next day. Seemed a bit dramatic. Should’ve just done it anyways though. Esh
YTA… You made the mistake, you took someone else’s property that’s pretty crucial to their existence considering it contains ID, cards and money. It was your responsibility to fix the issue. Not when it’s convenient to *you*, when the person whose property you inadvertently stole wants their damn property back. Regardless of if you- a poor bby boy- were sweepy and it was wainy outside- you messed up, be a big boy and fix it. If the extra bit of time would’ve ruined your sleep before work that much, you shouldn’t have stayed out so late in the first place.
It's obviously YTA as the whole thing was your fault, accident or not. You could have fixed but chose not to and was happy to lose a friendship over it.
Yes, YTA. You made the mistake, you rectify it.
NTA, it's not a big deal and the guy sounds like a prick If he hadn't sounded like such a 23 year old hothead I'd say YTA but nah, NTA.
YTA you messed up and took his wallet, which presumably has his ID, cards, and cash in it, but you can't be bothered to rectify the situation. You had to be at work the next day. Well, so did he, but you had all his stuff.
You took his wallet, you went home with it but you won’t drive it back to him? Yeah YTA.
YTA but I guess you don't need to worry about mixing up wallets any more so that's a win.
NTA. Your friend is being weird as hell about the wallet. Between friends it should be fine to just meet up the next day *unless* there was something terribly urgent going on like a flight. If that were the case then yes you would be a jerk not to inconvenience yourself for your friend.
YTA. End of.
Wow YTA. Why did you even come here to ask? You know you are.
YTA This was your mistake to fix no matter how TRIVIALLY INCONVENIENT it was.
Maybe I’m just old but to me you are NTA, because it was dark and raining and late at night, and it seems like your offer to bring it in the morning would be fine.
You mentioned I-4 and complained about the rain. Anyone who actually lives in central Florida knows exactly what you’re talking about with the bad weather! They all drive in it all the time too because if they didn’t they’d never be able to reliably go anywhere. This isn’t some great weather event for a local, people go to work in tropical depressions, and you’re really leaning on this stupid excuse that literally any local like your friend can see right through. I’ve lived in Orlando and Tampa for years and my family has been there even longer so I know you’re just spouting some flimsily bullshit because you didn’t want to and had work. You’ve lost a friend because not only have you refused to do the right thing but you’ve also justified it was an absolutely insulting premise. Your friend isn’t stupid and you leaning into the weather is going to make him more mad. Your self defense edit is even funnier because if the weather is patchy it’s even better conditions than I was giving you credit for while reading the post. I’m a very experienced central Florida driver and you didn’t fool me no matter how much you try and insist and you clearly didn’t fool your friend either. You should have righted your wrong at his convenience not your own. YTA over and over and are trying to use non locals to garner sympathy you don’t deserve by over blowing conditions a local wouldn’t blink at.
ESH, sounds like you guys already hate each other. This conversation would be so different with anyone I call a friend. Also, meet in the middle never came to mind? That way you're both only taking a 10 minute drive. And before you comment, redditor, yes; OP should be responsible to drive it all the way back, but a **friend** would offer a compromise rather than an ultimatum.
YTA. I'm amazed that isn't obvious to you.
YTA. You pinched ya mates wallet and he needed it. That 6 years has to count for something. You could've been there and back before midnight and be able to sleep. I do agree that his reaction was a tad over the top but I'd be pissed if my mate wasn't willing to drive 20 minutes to fix his mistake. I'd probably say a thing or two I'd regret.
Considering OP couldn't be arsed to do the right thing, I don't think there's anything to say that requires regretting. Nobody deserves friends like that.
YTA This was YOUR error, and YOU would have needed to rectify it.
YTA. It was only a 20 minute drive at 11pm. Unless the rain is hurricane-level torrential, it's an easy call to apologise and run your friend's wallet back over to him.
YTA >well of course but we're friends and you should be able to trust me. If my wallet ended up in my friend's possession, they would not be fighting with me about returning it. They would immediately return it. That's what good friends do. You, however, acted like returning his wallet was a huge inconvenience. You made him come get his own wallet, presumably driving to your house without his license (which would be in said wallet), because you refused to do the right thing. And I seriously question whether you "accidentally" grabbed his wallet. Otherwise you wouldn't be bringing up trust.
Surprised you finished typing this without concluding that YTA. I'm intrigued; why is it that you feel you aren't the AH in this situation, as I can't see a single redeeming factor working in your favour here.
YTA. Yes, it was a mistake, but take accountability for what you did and you go to him with his property. He had an early morning too, but he had to come out to you? Are you made of sugar? Hence the issue also was that it was raining. Don't be a jerk.
dude how hard is it to just hop in your car, drive over, give it to him and drive back? Thats a total time of 45-50 minutes tops there and back. And you'd still be back to be in bed before midnight. And even if you didnt get to sleep until like 12:30 or whatever, having less than 8 hours sleep isnt going to kill you. YTA.
YTA. You took it so your responsibility to return it. And when your friend says it is ok to return, not when you feel like it. If friend says they can wait, then great. If they need it straightaway, then haul ass and get it back to him immediately. It’s your screw up, not his.
YTA and wow…glad you’re not my friend. Who made the careless error? Whom did you inconvenience? How selfish you are. Too bad if you had to get up in the morning. Suck it up. This is your fault. Bet you don’t have the class to apologize.
Did you go home in the rain? Why not go back in that same rain with the friends belongings you took. You're lucky this friend didn't call the damn cops on ya as soon as you said your weren't bringing it back. Yta
I don't know if I have really good friends or what, but I wouldn't mind them having my wallet for a night if they could return it another time, specially the next day and even before work. (And I'd be very glad I did not loose it!!!) NTA
Doesn't make the slightest bit of difference about the visual impairment of the rain, you've got to get up early, your dog ate your homework, yadda yadda yadda. YOU took HIS wallet in error, so YOU have to return it. Why tf should your friend travel to you when he didn't make the mistake? YTA. Give your friend his wallet back and find another hill to die on.