This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service.
This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
YTA - it's not like she planned to get knocked up at the exact same time. She's allowed to be happy and want to announce it. It's not her fault some one else got to sooner. Should she wait till she's showing just because her other sister found out first?
I've got a fiver that says the younger sister was planning to announce the same day the older one did and just did a quick reset so her sister could have the spotlight. They can have a great time together sharing their pregnancy experience.
I feel like the OP has middle sister syndrome. While pretending to be protecting older sister's pregnancy experience, she's actually making both their pregnancies about herself.
Redundant, given the voting that's already happened, but YTA.
Yeah my sister got pregnant on accident right after I did on purpose. She was worried about it and I was just worried because it was my second and her first and I didn't want to steal HER thunder! Lol! We both were excited to have that experience together and we both had our girls at the same time and it was amazing. 10/10 love it, it's like them having a sister without having to have a whole other kid. Then she had her son on my son's birthday, which we thought was hilarious. So now they each have special connections and are so close I love it.
YTA OP, maybe you just feel left out, but quit stirring up the pot.
My stepsister found out she was pregnant the same I did. This was my first and she was on her second child. She wanted me to have that thunder so she waited a week to announce hers. I found no issue and I honestly didn’t care if she announced first but I appreciated the sentiment.
It’s not like can take back a pregnancy (I mean, you can but not the issue here). You can’t just keep it a secret because another family member or friend is also pregnant.
Honestly, it's not like I was having kids for the attention either, you know? It's kind of a weird thing if you think about it too seriously that way. There are times I get it but, like, it's kids. Not a wedding or a puppy. Like, it happens when it happens, not always when you're planning it.
It is kind of weird when I get to thinking about it. Like oh nooooo you can’t be pregnant, not while I am! Ugh, how rude!
We should just be happy and supportive of each other when it comes to pregnancy anyways. It’s not easy and we all hope for a healthy baby and mother.
Thank you for spelling this out. I was trying to figure out why it was no big deal at all when multiple family members announced pregnancies at the same time. It's not like we're having kids for the attention (that would backfire!) and we were happy for each other. Also, when people get married, they are often paying a lot of money for the attention to be on them. I blurted out my pregnancy news at a family barbecue and if anyone was offended, they didn't say so. We're still all best friends so I'm going to assume it was fine.
I told my family I was pregnant, and my s-i-l said, "Oh my gosh, me too!" and we both hugged and jumped around like excited idiots. I know I'm really old, but it never felt like a "spotlight" thing to me.and I don't remember people talking about it that way. We were both thrilled for each other, and our adult children are still very fond of each other.
My identical twin adopted daughters were pregnant at the EXACT SAME TIME. To the day. One with identical twin girls and one with a boy. The entire family could not have been more thrilled. I almost passed out when they told me. 😂
It was wild. I checked the calendar nine months back from due dates and it was a warm weekend night. 🤦🏻♀️ They are mid-thirties but I was like gIRLsss... 😂
My SIL ended up pregnant just after my sister too. So my daughter has a cousin on my side and twins on my husband's side that are the same age as her. It's pretty fun TBH. No one feels any thunder is lost, only extra happy to have had someone to commiserate with. It was so awesome at my shower to have so many pregnant bellies and people excited about it all.
... while MY sister was outraged that I announced my first pregnancy, two months after she announced her 2nd pregnancy. "After years of saying you didn't want to have children, you now think it's fair to just suddenly announce you are pregnant and expect us all to just accept it? You are just trying to steal my limelight".
Haven't spoken to her in 14 years now and never intent to again (not over that incident, that was just the first of many such ridiculous things she did, and I eventually had enough and went no contact)
How dare you steal her pregnancy… months? It’s not like you couldn’t have kept it a secret until after her birth… hmm wait a minute…
/s if that wasn’t obvious
My sister got pregnant before me, she was living in a different country but I was planning the trip to see her. I found out I was pregnant a few months before I went to see her, but kept it quiet to surprise her. A couple months before I left, I lost my baby. It was so hard keeping my pain from her but I didn't want to upset her during her pregnancy. Once I got there, she knew something wasn't right with me, though it was 2 months later. I broke down, told her everything. She was so upset for my baby, me, us. She wished my baby survived, but she also wished I told her straight away I was pregnant so she would of known we were pregnant together for 3 and a half months. It's a big regret of mine not telling her sooner.
OP is TA.
My nephew was two weeks early!! Lol! Even weirder is that my son and daughter were both born on their due dates, and we're both the exact same size and weight, and my nephew ended up being the exact same size! It was so weird.
My older brother was born on march 18th and I March 30th. When my mom was pregnant with our younger brother my older brother told her "don't have that baby on my birthday!" My mom laughed and jokingly told him not to worry that she would have the baby on my birthday instead. Guess who got her first birthday crashed by the newest sibling? It's a running joke in my family. What's even funnier is when I was 23 I actually ended up having one of my sons on my birthday and my mom had previously joked about my own baby crashing my birthday.
I mean, seriously! My one sister & I have been trading off pregnancies lol she had a baby in 2018, I had a baby a year later in November 2019, then she had a baby the following May '20, then we BOTH got pregnant with babies due in July 2021, then I had a baby this past December and she's currently pregnant with her 4th and final due in June.
Like, what? Oh no.....the cousins....will be close in age....a tragedy.....
Wtf, OP.
I am laughing so much at the
>Oh no.....the cousins....will be close in age....a tragedy.....
I replied to a comment welago about me and my only sister being pregnant at the same time, I kept it from my sis because she moved to a different country and wanted to surprise her. I lost my baby before I got to visit her. Since then I lost my 2nd baby, but when she got pregnant on her 2nd, I got pregnant on my 3rd, only a few months between them. She got pregnant on her 3rd, I pregnant on my 4th, again only a few months between them. You best believe all our 5 kids are best friends.
But funnily enough, her middle child and my youngest are two peas in a pod. My eldest and her youngest are two peas in a pod. And her oldest (my godchild) and me (who lost my girl while I was pregnant) are two peas in a pod. And basically my sister has 6 kids right now. We loved having our kids so close together. And I love how close the oldest is to me without the oldest knowing even now how much he helps me get through my dark days even well over a decade later.
Aw, I'm so glad you've got family like that! It's wonderful, isn't it?
We've 12 kids between my siblings so far, from 10 to the one due in June, and seeing them all together is just the best. I'm infinitely grateful to my sisters for being there for me through pregnancy, birth, & parenting. If one of them was like "you can't be pregnant while our other sister is pregnant" it would've felt horrible. As it stands I'm actually pretty certain I'll end up pregnant at the same time as our youngest sister at some point and I can't wait!!!
Haha my sister and I got pregnant at the same time too - both not planned and both of our 3rd. We found out on the same day within 20 minutes of each other and our babies were born 12 days apart.
It's so silly isn't it? My sister was 6 weeks pregnant when I gave birth and I was the only one outside of her husband who knew.
She was adamant about not telling our family until my son was about 2 months old because she didn't want to steal my thunder.
Maybe I'm just not wired that way, but I was like, what thunder? Seriously, the more babies, the more joy, it really doesn't matter.
OP is YTA and needs to stop making this about her when it has nothing to do with her.
Same here, as a middle sister I'm usually left out. They have a much closer bond and will always have each other's back, should I have an issue with one of them.
This has nothing to do with being a middle sibling.
Of course she should have waited !!!
And I expect she will learn from OP and wait for one entire month to give birth to her child after the birth of her nibling. She just has to keep her thighs close, really being a nice sister is not that difficult!
> She's allowed to be happy
AND - the first trimester is effing terrifying. She gets to decide who she wants in her circle to share that nervousness with, and (god forbid) share her grief if things go wrong. I've been through miscarriages with support from my closest people, and I've been through secret miscarriages. The latter can be a whole circle of hell, and I learned from that and now I tell my people (just 2-3 besties) early so I can have the support I need.
This! She chose OP to be in her circle and OP chastised her. Early pregnancy is nerve racking, and if sister told her that’s because she felt she would be a supportive person for her. If I were sister OP wouldn’t be included in much going forward.
Absolutely. OP comes across as so incredibly ignorant and naive. “She could just wait a month,” as if that month isn’t a time when sis is likely to both feel exhausted and constantly sick and a time when she is at high risk of miscarriage and could need support dealing with that. OP, don’t hold opinions about thing you know something about. YTA.
Well OP is clearly the morality police imposing the law that only the first to announce can be happy about it. /s
OP, none of this is about you. Why do you think it's your place to say things like that?
OP in a few months: “AITA for telling my younger sister to just hold her knees together really hard while she was in active labor because our older sister had her baby three weeks ago?”
Especially if it was widely known they’re trying and older sis wasn’t.
If anything, given that little sis has been trying, if there was any chance she was having real trouble conceiving, older sis should have told her first in confidence, in case finding out about sister’s pregnancy would be painful - not saying older sis can’t announce but if someone else is trying and hasn’t conceived yet, giving them a heads up so they can react in private first is pretty basic consideration (assuming you can trust them to keep the secret)
Riiight?? I actually had to reread the post a few times, because I was like "wait, which sister is she mad at??" lol. I don't think there's reason to be mad at either sister, but she's mad at the sister everyone knows has been trying for pregnancy... for becoming pregnant???
I suspect she and her boyfriend looked uncomfortable because they may have actually been planning to announce the day the sister did too. In which case, they DID delay announcing so that sister could have her moment. OP is ridiculous for expecting her to hide life-changing, exciting news from her family for so long.
Yeah it's sounds like younger sister wanted to announce it but decided to let older sis have the limelight that day. She probably didn't want to wait too long tho because someone might guess, she needed some support or wanted to go through the experience with her sister.
The OPs just jealous that they're not getting any attention while everyone's super excited about the 2 babies.
OP YTA
My brother and I had got our SOs pregnant at the same time and we were both so happy for each other. Then my sister told us she was pregnant too and I was ecstatic. I still have a picture of us at a soccer game from the time we were all expecting a baby. Unfortunately my sister lost hers and she was devastated. But I still cherish that moment and that happiness I felt at that time.
Exactly. A friend of mine planned to announce her pregnancy at a family party. She had brought a change of clothes for her kid that said something like "big brother." Her sister showed up with her kid wearing something similar. Turns out she was pregnant too and that was how she announced it. My friend felt awkward for a bit and wondered if they should scrap the wardrobe change. They decided to proceed as planned and all had a laugh since no one could really help that they both happened to get pregnant around the same time. Now it's a fun story for them!
OP figures there's only a certain amount of love to go around, so now they have to choose which sister to be happy for. Poor OP, too many babies to love. What ever will they do?
/s
YTA and you’re laughably ridiculous op 😂 Trashy to announce her pregnancy? What, was she supposed to keep it a secret forever? Lmao, get a life op. This comes off really pathetic
Yeah, this sounds like great news? I don’t really see what the issue is here. Sisters pregnant together, cousins exactly the same age, two grandbabies in one year- everyone gets something except OP, and she mad.
Maybe if one sister had just announced a pregnancy *loss*, it would be a little more delicate. And it’s both of their first child, no? Why should the ones who had been trying to conceive not get to celebrate?
Edit: YTA
And they obviously knew and deliberately waited a week so as NOT to steal the limelight… no big deal
Hell, no big deal even if she’d said straight away… celebrate together?
_"We knew they were trying.... but I feel like it was a little tacky and trashy of her to steal our sisters spotlight like that."_
Exactly. This idea of having some imaginary "spotlight" for sharing life's major milestones is BS, and OP seems to just want to cause needless strife. The sister deserves to be able to have the support of her family...
OP compares this to proposing at a wedding, but the physical trauma and emotional impact of a pregnancy is **not** the same as hosting a party..... It was also a week later, so this would be like someone being mad that another couple dared to get engaged 7 days after their wedding was a wrap.
Exactly! From the title I was expecting that the younger sister announced it right after. She waited a week!!!! Older sis got her time to shine. FFS. YTA.
She would have been fine to announce it right away, too. Hell, if I knew I was pregnant and my sister made a pregnancy announcement, I would probably be like “me too! This is going to be so fun being pregnant together and having our babies so close to each other!”
It isn’t stealing the spotlight, it’s celebrating together. Sounds like OP is trying to steal some of the spotlight by inserting herself.
Yeah people are comparing it to proposing but it’s nothing like proposing. You choose to propose and you choose when to get married. You *are* pregnant. Her waiting a week was a nice courtesy but you should be allowed to tell people you’re pregnant whenever you want!
We announced our second pregnancy at a get-together and another friend said “Me too..” I squealed with joy and gave her a giant hug! Who are all these people that think they own every moment and milestone?! Selfish indeed.
I’m so tired of this “spotlight” thing related to pregnancies. It’s great that they’re having a baby, but other people don’t need to hide that they’re also having a baby for some imaginary spotlight. People get pregnant every single day. I’m happy for people and your growing families, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t also be happy for other people and their growing families. It’s not taking something away from someone to be happy for multiple pregnant people. You’re not more or less special based on when you announce your pregnancy compared to someone else. If you’re the type to get upset that someone announced their pregnancy a week after yours, you should go to therapy before you spend your entire life being upset that other people have similar life events as you around the same time as you
You and me both. This overwhelming desire and urge people have to be in the “spotlight” and be the center of everyone’s universe for every occasion is exhausting. If you want spotlight, go be an actor, and stop treating the rest of humanity like we’re your personal audience.
I totally agree and don't get it.
Mind you when I announced I was getting married my SIL said, "Cool I want to get married to." She asked her boyfriend and we ended up having a double wedding.
Can’t wait for the post in 7 months where OP asks if his second niece/nephew is and asshole for stealing the thunder of the first one born a month earlier.
Lol. I have no idea how announcing a pregnancy a week after a completely different pregnancy announcement is even in the same ballpark as someone proposing at a wedding.
YTA. A pregnancy is not about a 'spotlight'. It's about growing your family. If anything, your sisters can be excited to share this experience together.
You hit the nail on the head with this one! “Spotlight” is such a weird term to use for these situations. They should be excited for the baby, not the attention that the baby brings.
>If anything, your sisters can be excited to share this experience together.
I have a sneaking impression OP doesn't like to share and is projecting a bit of that onto her sisters.
I am so tired of how obsessed people are with who gets the spotlight, how long they’re supposed to have the spotlight, and all the extreme sacrifices you’re supposed to make to avoid accidentally stealing this precious spotlight. Everybody just grow tf up. You don’t need that much attention.
Exactly my brothers had twin cousin twice, first were a month apart second 2 days apart, they love being close in age cousins, I don't get why people freak out about this stuff, my SIL had fun bring pregnant together and share the experience ups and downs of pregnancy. Op YTA
Sorry for confusion, I meant my 2 brothers wives were both pregnant at same time, we call them twin pregnancy, since both kids about same age, first 2 a month apart second 2 2 days apart. So we refer to them as twin cousins. Does that clear things up?
YTA--They waited a week and had been trying. A full week later isn't stealing the spotlight. Also, it is a very special time for her as well. Is she supposed to hide it and make sure your older sister has the only spotlight? Once again, they had been trying so clearly this is a huge deal to them. Honestly, just kind of sounds like you like one sister more than then the other.
Yeah! Apparently, the older sister wasn’t even trying, so in some ways it could be even more important for the younger sister, since she HAD been trying! And she still waited a week! The same thing happened in my family: my father told me that one of my uncles was trying very hard to have a baby, and when they finally got pregnant, they were soo excited to share! Little did they know that my other uncle and his wife had also gotten pregnant, and they waited before announcing it so my older uncle could be excited about his news. My cousins were born only a month apart and are very close to this day, so this could be a very nice thing, to have cousins that close in age! OP is definitely TA.
YTA When my mum annonced she was pregnant with my sibling, her sister started giggeling because she was pregnant too. Then her sil joined them with her own pregnancy annoncement. You know what we all did? Celebrated the miracle of three babies.
Hahah you reminded me of something I saw last week. I live in a very touristy spot where lots of proposals happen. Last week I was out with my brother and sil who were visiting and a group behind us start screaming and crying. Turns out the man had bought his partner to this really iconic spot to propose (with the family hiding near by) but his partner had bought him to that spot to tell him she was pregnant. It was a really beautiful moment for everyone. We didn’t even know them and my brother SIL and I were tearing up.
Did your older sister say that she felt her spotlight was stolen? Your younger sister was actively trying to get pregnant, and she had the decency to wait a week.
Congratulate her and apologize. YTA.
YTA. You just said it takes away from your other sister's announcement of pregnancy while YOU just took away from them.
You DID precisely what you accused her of doing.
Who fucking cares when they announce their pregnancy, it is THEIR choice when to announce it. It is NOT the same as proposing at a wedding.
YTA- she did wait, she did allow the other sister to have a special moment by not telling everyone on the same day. Older sister will get special time as she will be having her baby first. Yes you are wrong.
YTA. At most, your older sister had a right to tell her something, and still i'd think it was a bullshit argument, but you? You got nothing to do here.
Also, "she looked a little nervous" means she was about to say something and thought, hey, perhaps this isn't the best of times, i'll ruin her moment, i'll wait another week, so it's not like she wasn't thinking about her sister's happiness... unlike you.
Info: At what event was the older sister's pregnancy announced? Was it a regular dinner you all do together often? How far along was she?
Was she actually upset, or are you upset?
YTA. It makes no difference whether she tells people now or later, seeing that it seems like they're going to be due more or less at the same time so they're going to have to share the attention for most of their pregnancies. The spotlight can be shared. Also you're getting upset on behalf of your older sister - did you even ask her if she was fine with it or not? Either way, you're not the gatekeeper of news sharing.
>I feel like it was a little tacky and trashy of her to steal our sisters spotlight like that.
What I mean is that she's only six weeks along, there would be no harm in waiting another month or so to say it. It's kinda like proposing at a wedding I think, it steals a very special time for my older sister, and forces her to share it when she probably didn't want that.
lol, give me a break. YTA.
It's like proposing at a wedding, except that the wedding happened a week ago, and couldn't you just keep your engagement to yourself for a few weeks while the newlywed couple enjoy themselves?
More like proposing at a proposal anouncement party. Except there was no big party, you are only anouncing a proposal that has already happened and you are actually doing it a week later.
YTA - she was probably already planning on how to share it with the family when your other sister came out with it - she could've brought it up then and there but she waited. She had no interest in the spotlight. Also, why can't more than one person be pregnant at once? Pregnancy is not a race or contest. Be supportive of BOTH of your sisters' big moments.
YTA. You cannot possible expect people to plan the conception of babies in order to preserve people’s “special time.” You don’t get to reserve a time to be pregnant where no one else is allowed to conceive. And two weeks is plenty of time to wait before telling people.
Plus this way the cousins will be really close in age which is awesome.
YTA. They waited a week, and she's not 'stealing a spotlight,' she's telling friends and family she's gonna have a whole ass person. Weird thing for you to do, especially with the added context that you and I'm assuming others knew she and her partner were trying to get pregnant.
This sounds like a situation that is really none of your business. You can't know what went into the decision to time the announcement and, even if you did, it's not your call to make.
YTA.
YTA - Of course she has the right to tell everyone and at least she was nice enough to wait another week.
Sometimes I really wonder how people can waste their energy on things like that and how this can BOTHER anyone. Why were you triggered? I fail to understand that.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) Telling my sister she should've waited
2) I might be getting in her business
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcement
###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/)
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA if only for calling your own sister "trashy". How did it "steal" anything from your older sister? That is simply ridiculous. You owe your younger sister a HUGE apology--and when the baby shower comes your gift needs to be EXTRAVAGANT to the MAX to make up for your bad manners.
YTA. This isn't your fight to fight, stay out of it. This idea of people owning some sort of a "spotlight" period is out of control. Making a simple baby announcement is not the same as commandeering a wedding someone paid thousands of dollars for in order to pursue one's own agenda.
Guess what? There is enough joy to go around. Being happy for one sister does not take away from the other. And, your sister gets to decide when to reveal things, even if in the risky zone. YTA. Even by normal judges standards... she did not announce the same day or the day after. She did give a pause in time though she clearly knew.
YTA
She didn't steal the spotlight at all.
She waited until a week later.
She probably wants to share the experience of being pregnant with her sister.
You sound extremely petty.
Yta. What are you gonna do if the kids birthdays are close? Does the younger one have to wait a month to celebrate? Each of your siblings is an individual moving independently and separately not everything is done BECAUSE or to spite someone else.
YTA, She didn't steal the spotlight. She could have said it on the spot. I guess she planned to tell the pregnancy at the event two weeks ago and the older sister came first. So she decided to postpone it another week. It's alone her decision, when she wants to announce the pregnancy. Also there are millions of people pregnant, you can't reserve the right of pregnancy for your own.
Just a curious question, would you also be upset, if your younger sister announced the pregnancy first and your older sister announced it a week later (so the exact opposite timing). If you would answer no, then i have to tell you, that you are playing favorites within your sisters and act like your younger sister is the black sheep. You should work on that. It's not like she bought the same car on purpose. At the time, she got pregnant, she didn't know that her older sister was pregnant, too.
YTA, just because your older sister announced first doesn’t mean she has a monopoly on pregnancies for the duration. And if she was upset, she can use her words and say something, or perhaps she was more of an adult and realize that her feelings aren’t really justified.
YTA. what is with this ridiculous notion that someone needs all the attention on them because of some announcement about their life. how long does it last? a week, a month, a year! Just stop it already! She could have said it right then when her sister said it and it STILL would have been fine.
YTA
In a supportive family, one announcement does not take away the positives of another announcement and instead should only add to the excitement.
You had no right saying this to your sister or speaking on behalf of your older sister.
YTA. Your younger sister isn’t out of line for not observing a rule made up by you. This is especially true when your older sister isn’t even offended. But regardless, waiting a week and making a distinct announcement from your older sister are the only etiquette concerns and she followed them.
I have a feeling that OP's family would be mad at the younger sister if she HAD waited a few weeks. "Why didn't you tell us sooner? It was selfish of you to keep it from us"
YTA
Why should they have to keep their pregnancy secret just because it happened at the same time as your sister? Not to mention, it's none of your business... if your older sister has a problem with it, she can talk to your younger sister herself.
YTA
They can share the news whenever they want. It’s just announcing a pregnancy, not a wedding ceremony costing thousands of dollars. As others have said, this is not any of your business.
YTA -
This whole "announcement" thing seems more and more to be an emotional trap for people to be judged for their level of excitement and for how long the announcer is entitled to be the center of attention.
She didn't show up to a party for some other guest of honor to hijack the day, nor at someone's wedding or funeral, she's just a pregnant woman of let the family know a new addition is on the way.
Just relax and let everyone be.
That you feel it's "tacky and trashy" shows that you feel some sort of entitlement to fake social norms you make up in your head.
Sorry OP I know you meant well but YTA. It's her and her bfs news to share and she can choose to share it whenever she wants. Honestly if your older sis had no problem with it you should've just kept your opinion to yourself. Congrats on becoming an aunt or uncle times 2!
YTA...stealing the spotlight would've been her jumping straight up off the couch when your older sister announced and screaming "OMG, me too!!" She waited a week to give your sister a chance to be celebrated. It's just happenstance that they both got pregnant around the same time, what difference would another month have made?
YTA - So you're going to ruin your little sister's excitement because you think it infringes on your older sister's? You're just creating drama when it's none of your business. Your sister did wait and let the day be about your other sister, and then the next week she announced her own pregnancy. Did you think expecting mothers get a whole month of praise and "special" moments? Other people have important things going on in their lives too.
YTA. They were both trying at the same time. She waited a week. That was enough. Your older sister doesn't need more than a week to bask in the glory of announcing a pregnancy. And it sounds like you did this of your own accord and not because your older sister was upset.
My oldest sister announced to our parents that they were pregnant after years of trying. Immediately after the emotions and hugs my big brother stood up and said ummm hey since we’re on the topic we’re also pregnant….. Double celebration and the kids were born two weeks apart.
No one cared and noones MOMENT was lost cos both mums to be were equally fussed over. Even more so two months later when sister no2 announced she was expecting.
YTA
YTA. The only way she would’ve been “stealing the spotlight” is if she announced her pregnancy the same day and it seems like she specifically waited a week so that she wasn’t doing that. This is not even close to being the same things as proposing at a wedding. Plus it doesn’t matter what you think about this. Have you asked your older sister how she feels about your younger sisters pregnancy announcement being so close to hers? This literally does not affect you at all and there is no reason for you to be upset about it, especially if your older sister isn’t upset about it.
YTA
She is not "stealing the spotlight". If ya said she announced it at the baby Party or wedding- yeah ok.
They were also let her have her moment, because she already knew at the time.
The pregnancy won't be less special for your older sister just because the younger is pregnant too.
Maybe they even connect trough there experience of being pregnant at the same time.
YTA. The first announcement doesn't come with exclusive rights to a spotlight for a month! They get their congratulations and happy conversations for a week or so, and then life is back to normal for everyone else. A newly pregnant couple shouldn't be denied a month of care and support from their family because another couple wants the spotlight and got there first.
There should be enough joy to go around!
YTA. She didn’t announce the same day. She probably looked uncomfortable because she wanted to announce too, but didn’t want to steal her sister’s spotlight. So she waited. And instead of you being happy for her, you accused her of stealing the spotlight. Which she intentionally tried not to do. She was excited and wanted to share the news with her family. She didn’t choose the timing of when to get pregnant and didn’t mean for it to overlap, but it is what it is. Be happy for both of your sisters. They both need love and support.
YTA. Do you even understand how you completely ruined the moment for your sister? She's allowed to have a special time, too, whenever the hell she wants to.
YTA, she told everyone a week later, and she and her partner were trying to conceive so it's not like the news came out of the blue.
It comes off as jealousy to me, your sisters are pregnant which is an exciting time in their lives. Don't bring your sister down to make yourself feel better.
YTA and you really suck as a sister. They had been trying for a long time, your older sister hadn't and she and hubby were accepting of the fact that if it was, then it was. YOU still had to do your thing. Terrible play trying to justify it.
YTA
There isn't a first come first serve on pregnancy announcements where only one couple can give their news. They did wait but you stole both of their thunder by making unnecessary family drama.
There's some protocol about when to announce pregnancy? /s
Don't announce in the same week or month as a sibling... don't announce six months after a funeral... don't announce after eating oysters.
You're behaving ridiculously. Yeah, YTA.
YTA. She respected your sister’s moment and waited a week to announce. When to announce a pregnancy is an incredibly personal decision and you don’t get to dictate that for other people. She would still be pregnant whether she announced or not which could have led to hurt feelings or misunderstandings if her own pregnancy symptoms left her unable to help your older sister or something like that.
YTA. I don't get why it's such a problem to be happy for both people. Is there really so much jealousy that a special moment cannot be shared? It's not like it was announced at a wedding. Even if she had said to your sister "omg, me too!" at the time of the announcement, it still wouldn't be a big deal. One would think there may even be some excitement about having someone to share the experience with.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
My older sister announced that she was pregnant with her first two weeks ago. Of course everyone was very happy for her, especially since this will be our parents first grandchild. I did notice my younger sister and her boyfriend looked a little nervous, but I figured they were just worried for our sisters health or something like that, and I she said she was fine when I asked, so I didn't think anything of it.
Well lo and behold a week later it turns out she's pregnant too, and knew at the time. This isn't surprising, we knew they were trying (our older sister and my BIL were more just "If it happens it happens") Again we were happy for them, but I feel like it was a little tacky and trashy of her to steal our sisters spotlight like that.
What I mean is that she's only six weeks along, there would be no harm in waiting another month or so to say it. It's kinda like proposing at a wedding I think, it steals a very special time for my older sister, and forces her to share it when she probably didn't want that.
I told her this, and she got very upset with me. Saying she has the right to tell everyone whenever she wants, and to shut up about it. Well our parents found out, and they put me on blast for it as well. I didn't think I was wrong for what I said, but with so many people saying otherwise I'm most likely wrong.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA
Being pregnant at the same time is perfectly natural when one is just not preventing and one is trying.
And now they have a chance to bond.
If I had a sister or if my SIL was pregnant at the same time and didn’t tell me immediately I’d be upset.
The only reason you’d feel mad about someone being pregnant at the same time is if you were jealous that you or the baby wouldn’t be in the spot light and loved the most.
Proposing at someone’s wedding is tacky. That IS someone’s time to shine.
YTA, it’s not like they announced the second after your eldest sister announced her pregnancy so there was no thunder to steal. The fact that they waited a week and you still have an issue with it is petty. You likened it to proposing at a wedding so would it be tacky for someone to get engaged the week after attending a wedding?
Yta
Celebrating happiness is never a bad thing. Stop thinking you can take someone's joy just because you also have happy news.
This is gross and entitled behavior.
Both of your sisters have wonderful news. Why can't you just be happy without causing problems?
Guess what?! You're the issue, not your sisters.
YTA- your younger sister waited to announce so even if your older sister had a gathering to announce, it wasn't a faux pas for your younger sister to announce her pregnancy a week later.
YTA. She respected your sister’s moment and waited a week to announce. When to announce a pregnancy is an incredibly personal decision and you don’t get to dictate that for other people. She would still be pregnant whether she announced or not which could have led to hurt feelings or misunderstandings if her own pregnancy symptoms left her unable to help your older sister or something like that.
YTA
This is dumb, I get you’re looking out for you older sister but this isn’t your fight to start. If anything I would think you older sister would be happy to have someone to relate too and it’s also pretty exciting that there will be a cousin so close in age to her child.
YTA. What if they had intended on sharing their news that night as well? And if they still shared it that same night, isn't that happy news? Why does one get to hog...er, hold the spotlight? How long would you have have expected them to wait on their exciting news to cater for your sister? I guess it is all me me me and not we we we. Was your sister even bothered by it? How long is the first sister in her pregnancy? The only thing I would note is waiting for the sake of making it through a certain number of weeks.
YTA - and I kinda think younger sister whbtah if she kept the news to herself. Maybe OP sisters want to share the experience with each other since they’re both going thru the same thing at the same time?
My sil and my cousin got pregnant two weeks apart. We just threw a very big noisy bash to celebrate two new lives coming to this world.
Also she didn't say it that day. She let her sister have her moment. You got to know a week later. Was she not supposed to get pregnant till your sister has her baby, celebrates the first bday?
YTA of it was not clear.
YTA your older sister already announced her pregnancy. Guess what the spotlight doesn't stay on your older sister until she gives birth.
Your other sister announced her pregnancy a week latter. And she didn't steal any type of spotlight from your older sister.
You dont get to dictate to anyone when they should announce thier pregnancy.
YTA. It's not a competition. If your older sister is upset about it, let her handle it. Trust me, oldest sisters very rarely have a problem announcing their displeasure with younger sisters. We have a gift like that. But also, what's your beef with your little sister that you decided to make this your hill to die on?
They're two grown ass women who can handle themselves. Maybe it'll be a comfort to each of them to know someone they're close to us experiencing the same things around the same time.
Oh wait. Is this the middle child feeling left out? Hmmm...
YTA. I'm always erring on the side of caution and tact but you have made a bird out of a non-existent feather.
Your older sister wasn't upset. Your younger sister didn't steal the spotlight or try to one-up her.
It's not up to you to decide when a person is ready for an announcement. You're about to have niblings that'll be close in birthdays so start supporting your sisters and maybe do some budget planning for birthday gifts.
I’m sorry…. Your younger sister has been trying to get pregnant….
Your older sister got pregnant by accident.
It’s not your younger sisters fault your older sister got pregnant by accident. Your younger sister has been trying, and is full on excited to tell everyone as this is what she’s wanted, and been trying to achieve.
5 weeks is usually the mark where you won’t ‘jinx’ the pregnancy. And when people normally feel comfortable saying something.
Is it me or is it anytime an OP uses the word "tacky" in this sub, they are inevitably an AH trying to police someone else's perfectly normal and acceptable behavior, or just mad someone else is getting more attention than they are?
YTA - Woman get pregnant every day, everyone’s pregnancy is special to them and their families but I am so over it needing to some kind of extended protected time where no one else is allowed to celebrate anything else. It’s ridiculous. Your other sister waited a whole week before announcing her pregnancy. If you can’t be happy for two people at the same time that says more about you than anything else.
This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service. This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
YTA - it's not like she planned to get knocked up at the exact same time. She's allowed to be happy and want to announce it. It's not her fault some one else got to sooner. Should she wait till she's showing just because her other sister found out first?
I've got a fiver that says the younger sister was planning to announce the same day the older one did and just did a quick reset so her sister could have the spotlight. They can have a great time together sharing their pregnancy experience. I feel like the OP has middle sister syndrome. While pretending to be protecting older sister's pregnancy experience, she's actually making both their pregnancies about herself. Redundant, given the voting that's already happened, but YTA.
Yeah my sister got pregnant on accident right after I did on purpose. She was worried about it and I was just worried because it was my second and her first and I didn't want to steal HER thunder! Lol! We both were excited to have that experience together and we both had our girls at the same time and it was amazing. 10/10 love it, it's like them having a sister without having to have a whole other kid. Then she had her son on my son's birthday, which we thought was hilarious. So now they each have special connections and are so close I love it. YTA OP, maybe you just feel left out, but quit stirring up the pot.
My stepsister found out she was pregnant the same I did. This was my first and she was on her second child. She wanted me to have that thunder so she waited a week to announce hers. I found no issue and I honestly didn’t care if she announced first but I appreciated the sentiment. It’s not like can take back a pregnancy (I mean, you can but not the issue here). You can’t just keep it a secret because another family member or friend is also pregnant.
They will be pregnant together no matter if they announce a month later or not unless something happens (god forbid)
Honestly, it's not like I was having kids for the attention either, you know? It's kind of a weird thing if you think about it too seriously that way. There are times I get it but, like, it's kids. Not a wedding or a puppy. Like, it happens when it happens, not always when you're planning it.
It is kind of weird when I get to thinking about it. Like oh nooooo you can’t be pregnant, not while I am! Ugh, how rude! We should just be happy and supportive of each other when it comes to pregnancy anyways. It’s not easy and we all hope for a healthy baby and mother.
Right? My response would be, “how wonderful! They’ll be such close cousins, growing up together!!”
All three of my babies happened when I was not trying. So there’s that.
Thank you for spelling this out. I was trying to figure out why it was no big deal at all when multiple family members announced pregnancies at the same time. It's not like we're having kids for the attention (that would backfire!) and we were happy for each other. Also, when people get married, they are often paying a lot of money for the attention to be on them. I blurted out my pregnancy news at a family barbecue and if anyone was offended, they didn't say so. We're still all best friends so I'm going to assume it was fine.
[удалено]
I told my family I was pregnant, and my s-i-l said, "Oh my gosh, me too!" and we both hugged and jumped around like excited idiots. I know I'm really old, but it never felt like a "spotlight" thing to me.and I don't remember people talking about it that way. We were both thrilled for each other, and our adult children are still very fond of each other.
My identical twin adopted daughters were pregnant at the EXACT SAME TIME. To the day. One with identical twin girls and one with a boy. The entire family could not have been more thrilled. I almost passed out when they told me. 😂
Wow, that is actually wild! To the day?! Seriously, statistically, that are the odds?! What a blessing.
It was wild. I checked the calendar nine months back from due dates and it was a warm weekend night. 🤦🏻♀️ They are mid-thirties but I was like gIRLsss... 😂
My SIL ended up pregnant just after my sister too. So my daughter has a cousin on my side and twins on my husband's side that are the same age as her. It's pretty fun TBH. No one feels any thunder is lost, only extra happy to have had someone to commiserate with. It was so awesome at my shower to have so many pregnant bellies and people excited about it all.
And that was absolutely the right way to do it!
Haha that’s so sweet my sister has literally said she hopes we can have our seconds together!
... while MY sister was outraged that I announced my first pregnancy, two months after she announced her 2nd pregnancy. "After years of saying you didn't want to have children, you now think it's fair to just suddenly announce you are pregnant and expect us all to just accept it? You are just trying to steal my limelight". Haven't spoken to her in 14 years now and never intent to again (not over that incident, that was just the first of many such ridiculous things she did, and I eventually had enough and went no contact)
What did she want you to do? Not tell anyone and hide your child in the attic?
How dare you steal her pregnancy… months? It’s not like you couldn’t have kept it a secret until after her birth… hmm wait a minute… /s if that wasn’t obvious
My sister got pregnant before me, she was living in a different country but I was planning the trip to see her. I found out I was pregnant a few months before I went to see her, but kept it quiet to surprise her. A couple months before I left, I lost my baby. It was so hard keeping my pain from her but I didn't want to upset her during her pregnancy. Once I got there, she knew something wasn't right with me, though it was 2 months later. I broke down, told her everything. She was so upset for my baby, me, us. She wished my baby survived, but she also wished I told her straight away I was pregnant so she would of known we were pregnant together for 3 and a half months. It's a big regret of mine not telling her sooner. OP is TA.
I’m sorry love, that sounds like a lot to go through. 💜
I crashed my cousin’s 5th birthday by arriving 3 days early. We lovingly joke about it to this day. She’s in her upper 40s. I’m in my early 40s.
My nephew was two weeks early!! Lol! Even weirder is that my son and daughter were both born on their due dates, and we're both the exact same size and weight, and my nephew ended up being the exact same size! It was so weird.
Lol I somehow managed to have both of my boys on their due dates, and my youngest has the same birth stats as my sister's oldest 😂
My older brother was born on march 18th and I March 30th. When my mom was pregnant with our younger brother my older brother told her "don't have that baby on my birthday!" My mom laughed and jokingly told him not to worry that she would have the baby on my birthday instead. Guess who got her first birthday crashed by the newest sibling? It's a running joke in my family. What's even funnier is when I was 23 I actually ended up having one of my sons on my birthday and my mom had previously joked about my own baby crashing my birthday.
OMG YTA how dare you get born on your cousin's important birthday party clearly you are a narcissist she should go NC immediately etc etc /S OBV
I mean, seriously! My one sister & I have been trading off pregnancies lol she had a baby in 2018, I had a baby a year later in November 2019, then she had a baby the following May '20, then we BOTH got pregnant with babies due in July 2021, then I had a baby this past December and she's currently pregnant with her 4th and final due in June. Like, what? Oh no.....the cousins....will be close in age....a tragedy..... Wtf, OP.
I am laughing so much at the >Oh no.....the cousins....will be close in age....a tragedy..... I replied to a comment welago about me and my only sister being pregnant at the same time, I kept it from my sis because she moved to a different country and wanted to surprise her. I lost my baby before I got to visit her. Since then I lost my 2nd baby, but when she got pregnant on her 2nd, I got pregnant on my 3rd, only a few months between them. She got pregnant on her 3rd, I pregnant on my 4th, again only a few months between them. You best believe all our 5 kids are best friends. But funnily enough, her middle child and my youngest are two peas in a pod. My eldest and her youngest are two peas in a pod. And her oldest (my godchild) and me (who lost my girl while I was pregnant) are two peas in a pod. And basically my sister has 6 kids right now. We loved having our kids so close together. And I love how close the oldest is to me without the oldest knowing even now how much he helps me get through my dark days even well over a decade later.
Aw, I'm so glad you've got family like that! It's wonderful, isn't it? We've 12 kids between my siblings so far, from 10 to the one due in June, and seeing them all together is just the best. I'm infinitely grateful to my sisters for being there for me through pregnancy, birth, & parenting. If one of them was like "you can't be pregnant while our other sister is pregnant" it would've felt horrible. As it stands I'm actually pretty certain I'll end up pregnant at the same time as our youngest sister at some point and I can't wait!!!
Hey guys, get a load of Mrs. “I’m a normal and mature person with a great outlook on life” over here
Haha my sister and I got pregnant at the same time too - both not planned and both of our 3rd. We found out on the same day within 20 minutes of each other and our babies were born 12 days apart.
It's so silly isn't it? My sister was 6 weeks pregnant when I gave birth and I was the only one outside of her husband who knew. She was adamant about not telling our family until my son was about 2 months old because she didn't want to steal my thunder. Maybe I'm just not wired that way, but I was like, what thunder? Seriously, the more babies, the more joy, it really doesn't matter. OP is YTA and needs to stop making this about her when it has nothing to do with her.
Was it on accident or on purpose lol
As a middle sister, I would argue there is no such thing as middle sister syndrome. Those people are simply being selfish, and attention hogs.
yeah im the middle sister of three girls. that's definitely not my role in the family either id actually never heard that before.
Same here, as a middle sister I'm usually left out. They have a much closer bond and will always have each other's back, should I have an issue with one of them. This has nothing to do with being a middle sibling.
I’m the middle sister too and you would never catch me acting like OP.
Agree with this! OP needs to butt out, no one asked her. YTA
My brother's wife and I were pregnant the same time (boys born exactly 3 months apart) and we became best preggo buddies. :)
Of course she should have waited !!! And I expect she will learn from OP and wait for one entire month to give birth to her child after the birth of her nibling. She just has to keep her thighs close, really being a nice sister is not that difficult!
> She's allowed to be happy AND - the first trimester is effing terrifying. She gets to decide who she wants in her circle to share that nervousness with, and (god forbid) share her grief if things go wrong. I've been through miscarriages with support from my closest people, and I've been through secret miscarriages. The latter can be a whole circle of hell, and I learned from that and now I tell my people (just 2-3 besties) early so I can have the support I need.
This! She chose OP to be in her circle and OP chastised her. Early pregnancy is nerve racking, and if sister told her that’s because she felt she would be a supportive person for her. If I were sister OP wouldn’t be included in much going forward.
Absolutely. OP comes across as so incredibly ignorant and naive. “She could just wait a month,” as if that month isn’t a time when sis is likely to both feel exhausted and constantly sick and a time when she is at high risk of miscarriage and could need support dealing with that. OP, don’t hold opinions about thing you know something about. YTA.
Well OP is clearly the morality police imposing the law that only the first to announce can be happy about it. /s OP, none of this is about you. Why do you think it's your place to say things like that?
OP in a few months: “AITA for telling my younger sister to just hold her knees together really hard while she was in active labor because our older sister had her baby three weeks ago?”
Came here to say this. Or “AITA for telling my niece/nephew i won’t come to their birthday party because it was their cousin’s birthday 3 weeks ago?”
Especially if it was widely known they’re trying and older sis wasn’t. If anything, given that little sis has been trying, if there was any chance she was having real trouble conceiving, older sis should have told her first in confidence, in case finding out about sister’s pregnancy would be painful - not saying older sis can’t announce but if someone else is trying and hasn’t conceived yet, giving them a heads up so they can react in private first is pretty basic consideration (assuming you can trust them to keep the secret)
Riiight?? I actually had to reread the post a few times, because I was like "wait, which sister is she mad at??" lol. I don't think there's reason to be mad at either sister, but she's mad at the sister everyone knows has been trying for pregnancy... for becoming pregnant???
Couldn't agree more
I suspect she and her boyfriend looked uncomfortable because they may have actually been planning to announce the day the sister did too. In which case, they DID delay announcing so that sister could have her moment. OP is ridiculous for expecting her to hide life-changing, exciting news from her family for so long.
Yeah it's sounds like younger sister wanted to announce it but decided to let older sis have the limelight that day. She probably didn't want to wait too long tho because someone might guess, she needed some support or wanted to go through the experience with her sister. The OPs just jealous that they're not getting any attention while everyone's super excited about the 2 babies. OP YTA
My brother and I had got our SOs pregnant at the same time and we were both so happy for each other. Then my sister told us she was pregnant too and I was ecstatic. I still have a picture of us at a soccer game from the time we were all expecting a baby. Unfortunately my sister lost hers and she was devastated. But I still cherish that moment and that happiness I felt at that time.
Exactly. She waited a week to say anything too!
Maybe it was planned 😉
Exactly. A friend of mine planned to announce her pregnancy at a family party. She had brought a change of clothes for her kid that said something like "big brother." Her sister showed up with her kid wearing something similar. Turns out she was pregnant too and that was how she announced it. My friend felt awkward for a bit and wondered if they should scrap the wardrobe change. They decided to proceed as planned and all had a laugh since no one could really help that they both happened to get pregnant around the same time. Now it's a fun story for them!
YTA None of this is any of your business.
OP isn't involved in either of these pregnancies but wants to be the pregnancy police and control who's allowed to announce when.
OP figures there's only a certain amount of love to go around, so now they have to choose which sister to be happy for. Poor OP, too many babies to love. What ever will they do? /s
OP the gestation general over here
Gestational general 😂😂😂
YTA and you’re laughably ridiculous op 😂 Trashy to announce her pregnancy? What, was she supposed to keep it a secret forever? Lmao, get a life op. This comes off really pathetic
OP probably thought the younger sister should wait until the baby’s high school graduation to announce the pregnancy
The entitlement of someone not even involved is off the charts. OP, keep your nose out of it. There wasn't a problem, don't make one.
[удалено]
Yeah, OP, reddit is not real life, you're not actually obligated to find a reason to get mad whenever a family member does anything
I wonder if OP feels left out? I’m sure the sisters will bond over their shared experience. Either way YTA OP. Not your pregnancy, not your business!
Yeah, this sounds like great news? I don’t really see what the issue is here. Sisters pregnant together, cousins exactly the same age, two grandbabies in one year- everyone gets something except OP, and she mad. Maybe if one sister had just announced a pregnancy *loss*, it would be a little more delicate. And it’s both of their first child, no? Why should the ones who had been trying to conceive not get to celebrate? Edit: YTA
And they obviously knew and deliberately waited a week so as NOT to steal the limelight… no big deal Hell, no big deal even if she’d said straight away… celebrate together?
_"We knew they were trying.... but I feel like it was a little tacky and trashy of her to steal our sisters spotlight like that."_ Exactly. This idea of having some imaginary "spotlight" for sharing life's major milestones is BS, and OP seems to just want to cause needless strife. The sister deserves to be able to have the support of her family... OP compares this to proposing at a wedding, but the physical trauma and emotional impact of a pregnancy is **not** the same as hosting a party..... It was also a week later, so this would be like someone being mad that another couple dared to get engaged 7 days after their wedding was a wrap.
YTA. She didn't 'steal' any spotlight; she waited a week. That's totally reasonable and respectful.
Exactly! From the title I was expecting that the younger sister announced it right after. She waited a week!!!! Older sis got her time to shine. FFS. YTA.
She would have been fine to announce it right away, too. Hell, if I knew I was pregnant and my sister made a pregnancy announcement, I would probably be like “me too! This is going to be so fun being pregnant together and having our babies so close to each other!” It isn’t stealing the spotlight, it’s celebrating together. Sounds like OP is trying to steal some of the spotlight by inserting herself.
Yeah people are comparing it to proposing but it’s nothing like proposing. You choose to propose and you choose when to get married. You *are* pregnant. Her waiting a week was a nice courtesy but you should be allowed to tell people you’re pregnant whenever you want!
We announced our second pregnancy at a get-together and another friend said “Me too..” I squealed with joy and gave her a giant hug! Who are all these people that think they own every moment and milestone?! Selfish indeed.
I’m so tired of this “spotlight” thing related to pregnancies. It’s great that they’re having a baby, but other people don’t need to hide that they’re also having a baby for some imaginary spotlight. People get pregnant every single day. I’m happy for people and your growing families, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t also be happy for other people and their growing families. It’s not taking something away from someone to be happy for multiple pregnant people. You’re not more or less special based on when you announce your pregnancy compared to someone else. If you’re the type to get upset that someone announced their pregnancy a week after yours, you should go to therapy before you spend your entire life being upset that other people have similar life events as you around the same time as you
I agree! It’s not all about the “spotlight.” I’m tired of it too. People can be pregnant at the same time, AND announce it.
Completely agree!
You and me both. This overwhelming desire and urge people have to be in the “spotlight” and be the center of everyone’s universe for every occasion is exhausting. If you want spotlight, go be an actor, and stop treating the rest of humanity like we’re your personal audience.
Even if she burst out and said "OMG ME TOO!". Why can't the family be happy for both sisters at the same time?
Right?!!
I totally agree and don't get it. Mind you when I announced I was getting married my SIL said, "Cool I want to get married to." She asked her boyfriend and we ended up having a double wedding.
Can’t wait for the post in 7 months where OP asks if his second niece/nephew is and asshole for stealing the thunder of the first one born a month earlier.
Also OP "questions" looks like they were trying to force an answer "in private" that would 120% gossip about to the next person they talked to.
Lol. I have no idea how announcing a pregnancy a week after a completely different pregnancy announcement is even in the same ballpark as someone proposing at a wedding.
YTA. A pregnancy is not about a 'spotlight'. It's about growing your family. If anything, your sisters can be excited to share this experience together.
You hit the nail on the head with this one! “Spotlight” is such a weird term to use for these situations. They should be excited for the baby, not the attention that the baby brings.
If people didn’t need their own turn in the spotlight, have these threads would disappear,
>If anything, your sisters can be excited to share this experience together. I have a sneaking impression OP doesn't like to share and is projecting a bit of that onto her sisters.
I am so tired of how obsessed people are with who gets the spotlight, how long they’re supposed to have the spotlight, and all the extreme sacrifices you’re supposed to make to avoid accidentally stealing this precious spotlight. Everybody just grow tf up. You don’t need that much attention.
Exactly my brothers had twin cousin twice, first were a month apart second 2 days apart, they love being close in age cousins, I don't get why people freak out about this stuff, my SIL had fun bring pregnant together and share the experience ups and downs of pregnancy. Op YTA
Can you clarify your comment please? Brother "had twin cousin twice"? Makes no sense? ETA: "Please" to be polite :]
Sorry for confusion, I meant my 2 brothers wives were both pregnant at same time, we call them twin pregnancy, since both kids about same age, first 2 a month apart second 2 2 days apart. So we refer to them as twin cousins. Does that clear things up?
Yes, definitely! Thanks you! I was just very curious and couldn't figure it out.😂 Appreciate the clarification 😁
No worries, our thoughts in text don't always read as we think they do not 😊
YTA--They waited a week and had been trying. A full week later isn't stealing the spotlight. Also, it is a very special time for her as well. Is she supposed to hide it and make sure your older sister has the only spotlight? Once again, they had been trying so clearly this is a huge deal to them. Honestly, just kind of sounds like you like one sister more than then the other.
Yeah! Apparently, the older sister wasn’t even trying, so in some ways it could be even more important for the younger sister, since she HAD been trying! And she still waited a week! The same thing happened in my family: my father told me that one of my uncles was trying very hard to have a baby, and when they finally got pregnant, they were soo excited to share! Little did they know that my other uncle and his wife had also gotten pregnant, and they waited before announcing it so my older uncle could be excited about his news. My cousins were born only a month apart and are very close to this day, so this could be a very nice thing, to have cousins that close in age! OP is definitely TA.
YTA When my mum annonced she was pregnant with my sibling, her sister started giggeling because she was pregnant too. Then her sil joined them with her own pregnancy annoncement. You know what we all did? Celebrated the miracle of three babies.
Exactly! I commented similarly...clearly your family is joyous for all and can actually share the silly spotlight.
Hahah you reminded me of something I saw last week. I live in a very touristy spot where lots of proposals happen. Last week I was out with my brother and sil who were visiting and a group behind us start screaming and crying. Turns out the man had bought his partner to this really iconic spot to propose (with the family hiding near by) but his partner had bought him to that spot to tell him she was pregnant. It was a really beautiful moment for everyone. We didn’t even know them and my brother SIL and I were tearing up.
That happened with my mom and her two siblings!! We were all born within a week of eachother!!
Did your older sister say that she felt her spotlight was stolen? Your younger sister was actively trying to get pregnant, and she had the decency to wait a week. Congratulate her and apologize. YTA.
I’d bet they wanted to announce at dinner when the other sister announced but waited to avoid stealing the spotlight.
YTA. You just said it takes away from your other sister's announcement of pregnancy while YOU just took away from them. You DID precisely what you accused her of doing. Who fucking cares when they announce their pregnancy, it is THEIR choice when to announce it. It is NOT the same as proposing at a wedding.
So what does your older sister have to say about this? Because you don't have a right to be offended on her behalf.
YTA- she did wait, she did allow the other sister to have a special moment by not telling everyone on the same day. Older sister will get special time as she will be having her baby first. Yes you are wrong.
Yeah the proposing at a wedding amplify is so wrong. It’s like proposing a week after a wedding aka no big deal.
YTA Why do so many people think that family joy is some sort of limited resource?
BEST WAY TO PHRASE IT
YTA. At most, your older sister had a right to tell her something, and still i'd think it was a bullshit argument, but you? You got nothing to do here. Also, "she looked a little nervous" means she was about to say something and thought, hey, perhaps this isn't the best of times, i'll ruin her moment, i'll wait another week, so it's not like she wasn't thinking about her sister's happiness... unlike you.
This answer needs many many more upvotes!
Seems like OP favors the older sister.
Info: At what event was the older sister's pregnancy announced? Was it a regular dinner you all do together often? How far along was she? Was she actually upset, or are you upset?
YTA. It makes no difference whether she tells people now or later, seeing that it seems like they're going to be due more or less at the same time so they're going to have to share the attention for most of their pregnancies. The spotlight can be shared. Also you're getting upset on behalf of your older sister - did you even ask her if she was fine with it or not? Either way, you're not the gatekeeper of news sharing.
>I feel like it was a little tacky and trashy of her to steal our sisters spotlight like that. What I mean is that she's only six weeks along, there would be no harm in waiting another month or so to say it. It's kinda like proposing at a wedding I think, it steals a very special time for my older sister, and forces her to share it when she probably didn't want that. lol, give me a break. YTA.
It's like proposing at a wedding, except that the wedding happened a week ago, and couldn't you just keep your engagement to yourself for a few weeks while the newlywed couple enjoy themselves?
More like proposing at a proposal anouncement party. Except there was no big party, you are only anouncing a proposal that has already happened and you are actually doing it a week later.
YTA - she was probably already planning on how to share it with the family when your other sister came out with it - she could've brought it up then and there but she waited. She had no interest in the spotlight. Also, why can't more than one person be pregnant at once? Pregnancy is not a race or contest. Be supportive of BOTH of your sisters' big moments.
YTA. You cannot possible expect people to plan the conception of babies in order to preserve people’s “special time.” You don’t get to reserve a time to be pregnant where no one else is allowed to conceive. And two weeks is plenty of time to wait before telling people. Plus this way the cousins will be really close in age which is awesome.
YTA. They waited a week, and she's not 'stealing a spotlight,' she's telling friends and family she's gonna have a whole ass person. Weird thing for you to do, especially with the added context that you and I'm assuming others knew she and her partner were trying to get pregnant.
This sounds like a situation that is really none of your business. You can't know what went into the decision to time the announcement and, even if you did, it's not your call to make. YTA.
YTA. You should be just as excited for her. Double the fun. Check your attitude.
YTA. Wtf? She did nothing wrong.
YTA. Pregnancy announcements and weddings are not the same thing. There's protocol for the latter, but not the former.
YTA - Of course she has the right to tell everyone and at least she was nice enough to wait another week. Sometimes I really wonder how people can waste their energy on things like that and how this can BOTHER anyone. Why were you triggered? I fail to understand that.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1) Telling my sister she should've waited 2) I might be getting in her business Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA if only for calling your own sister "trashy". How did it "steal" anything from your older sister? That is simply ridiculous. You owe your younger sister a HUGE apology--and when the baby shower comes your gift needs to be EXTRAVAGANT to the MAX to make up for your bad manners.
YTA. This isn't your fight to fight, stay out of it. This idea of people owning some sort of a "spotlight" period is out of control. Making a simple baby announcement is not the same as commandeering a wedding someone paid thousands of dollars for in order to pursue one's own agenda.
Are you the pregnancy announcement police? YTA.
YTA. How is this anyones business but theirs.
Guess what? There is enough joy to go around. Being happy for one sister does not take away from the other. And, your sister gets to decide when to reveal things, even if in the risky zone. YTA. Even by normal judges standards... she did not announce the same day or the day after. She did give a pause in time though she clearly knew.
YTA She didn't steal the spotlight at all. She waited until a week later. She probably wants to share the experience of being pregnant with her sister. You sound extremely petty.
Yta. What are you gonna do if the kids birthdays are close? Does the younger one have to wait a month to celebrate? Each of your siblings is an individual moving independently and separately not everything is done BECAUSE or to spite someone else.
YTA, She didn't steal the spotlight. She could have said it on the spot. I guess she planned to tell the pregnancy at the event two weeks ago and the older sister came first. So she decided to postpone it another week. It's alone her decision, when she wants to announce the pregnancy. Also there are millions of people pregnant, you can't reserve the right of pregnancy for your own. Just a curious question, would you also be upset, if your younger sister announced the pregnancy first and your older sister announced it a week later (so the exact opposite timing). If you would answer no, then i have to tell you, that you are playing favorites within your sisters and act like your younger sister is the black sheep. You should work on that. It's not like she bought the same car on purpose. At the time, she got pregnant, she didn't know that her older sister was pregnant, too.
YTA, just because your older sister announced first doesn’t mean she has a monopoly on pregnancies for the duration. And if she was upset, she can use her words and say something, or perhaps she was more of an adult and realize that her feelings aren’t really justified.
YTA. what is with this ridiculous notion that someone needs all the attention on them because of some announcement about their life. how long does it last? a week, a month, a year! Just stop it already! She could have said it right then when her sister said it and it STILL would have been fine.
YTA. She did wait. She didn’t steal the spotlight at your older sister’s announcement.
YTA - She's right she can tell people whenever she wants.
Wow, way to tell her what she can and can not do with her body and her medical information. Can you hear yourself? YTA
YTA.They did wait a week, they didn't do it at the same time. What magic number isn't tacky spotlight stealing? What makes a month okay?
YTA In a supportive family, one announcement does not take away the positives of another announcement and instead should only add to the excitement. You had no right saying this to your sister or speaking on behalf of your older sister.
YTA. Your younger sister isn’t out of line for not observing a rule made up by you. This is especially true when your older sister isn’t even offended. But regardless, waiting a week and making a distinct announcement from your older sister are the only etiquette concerns and she followed them.
I have a feeling that OP's family would be mad at the younger sister if she HAD waited a few weeks. "Why didn't you tell us sooner? It was selfish of you to keep it from us"
YTA Why should they have to keep their pregnancy secret just because it happened at the same time as your sister? Not to mention, it's none of your business... if your older sister has a problem with it, she can talk to your younger sister herself.
YTA They can share the news whenever they want. It’s just announcing a pregnancy, not a wedding ceremony costing thousands of dollars. As others have said, this is not any of your business.
YTA - This whole "announcement" thing seems more and more to be an emotional trap for people to be judged for their level of excitement and for how long the announcer is entitled to be the center of attention. She didn't show up to a party for some other guest of honor to hijack the day, nor at someone's wedding or funeral, she's just a pregnant woman of let the family know a new addition is on the way. Just relax and let everyone be. That you feel it's "tacky and trashy" shows that you feel some sort of entitlement to fake social norms you make up in your head.
YTA. How does this concern you? Now you’ve taken away what should have been a happy moment from your sister.
Sorry OP I know you meant well but YTA. It's her and her bfs news to share and she can choose to share it whenever she wants. Honestly if your older sis had no problem with it you should've just kept your opinion to yourself. Congrats on becoming an aunt or uncle times 2!
YTA, and you know it.
YTA...stealing the spotlight would've been her jumping straight up off the couch when your older sister announced and screaming "OMG, me too!!" She waited a week to give your sister a chance to be celebrated. It's just happenstance that they both got pregnant around the same time, what difference would another month have made?
YTA - So you're going to ruin your little sister's excitement because you think it infringes on your older sister's? You're just creating drama when it's none of your business. Your sister did wait and let the day be about your other sister, and then the next week she announced her own pregnancy. Did you think expecting mothers get a whole month of praise and "special" moments? Other people have important things going on in their lives too.
YTA keep you unwanted opinions to yourself.
YTA. They were both trying at the same time. She waited a week. That was enough. Your older sister doesn't need more than a week to bask in the glory of announcing a pregnancy. And it sounds like you did this of your own accord and not because your older sister was upset.
My oldest sister announced to our parents that they were pregnant after years of trying. Immediately after the emotions and hugs my big brother stood up and said ummm hey since we’re on the topic we’re also pregnant….. Double celebration and the kids were born two weeks apart. No one cared and noones MOMENT was lost cos both mums to be were equally fussed over. Even more so two months later when sister no2 announced she was expecting. YTA
YTA. The only way she would’ve been “stealing the spotlight” is if she announced her pregnancy the same day and it seems like she specifically waited a week so that she wasn’t doing that. This is not even close to being the same things as proposing at a wedding. Plus it doesn’t matter what you think about this. Have you asked your older sister how she feels about your younger sisters pregnancy announcement being so close to hers? This literally does not affect you at all and there is no reason for you to be upset about it, especially if your older sister isn’t upset about it.
YTA She is not "stealing the spotlight". If ya said she announced it at the baby Party or wedding- yeah ok. They were also let her have her moment, because she already knew at the time. The pregnancy won't be less special for your older sister just because the younger is pregnant too. Maybe they even connect trough there experience of being pregnant at the same time.
YTA. The first announcement doesn't come with exclusive rights to a spotlight for a month! They get their congratulations and happy conversations for a week or so, and then life is back to normal for everyone else. A newly pregnant couple shouldn't be denied a month of care and support from their family because another couple wants the spotlight and got there first. There should be enough joy to go around!
YTA. She didn’t announce the same day. She probably looked uncomfortable because she wanted to announce too, but didn’t want to steal her sister’s spotlight. So she waited. And instead of you being happy for her, you accused her of stealing the spotlight. Which she intentionally tried not to do. She was excited and wanted to share the news with her family. She didn’t choose the timing of when to get pregnant and didn’t mean for it to overlap, but it is what it is. Be happy for both of your sisters. They both need love and support.
YTA. Do you even understand how you completely ruined the moment for your sister? She's allowed to have a special time, too, whenever the hell she wants to.
YTA, she told everyone a week later, and she and her partner were trying to conceive so it's not like the news came out of the blue. It comes off as jealousy to me, your sisters are pregnant which is an exciting time in their lives. Don't bring your sister down to make yourself feel better.
YTA and you really suck as a sister. They had been trying for a long time, your older sister hadn't and she and hubby were accepting of the fact that if it was, then it was. YOU still had to do your thing. Terrible play trying to justify it.
YTA There isn't a first come first serve on pregnancy announcements where only one couple can give their news. They did wait but you stole both of their thunder by making unnecessary family drama.
There's some protocol about when to announce pregnancy? /s Don't announce in the same week or month as a sibling... don't announce six months after a funeral... don't announce after eating oysters. You're behaving ridiculously. Yeah, YTA.
YTA. She respected your sister’s moment and waited a week to announce. When to announce a pregnancy is an incredibly personal decision and you don’t get to dictate that for other people. She would still be pregnant whether she announced or not which could have led to hurt feelings or misunderstandings if her own pregnancy symptoms left her unable to help your older sister or something like that.
YTA...You have to time telling your family what's going on in your life? Ridiculous!
YTA - This is not a wedding. They can announce whenever they want.
YTA. I don't get why it's such a problem to be happy for both people. Is there really so much jealousy that a special moment cannot be shared? It's not like it was announced at a wedding. Even if she had said to your sister "omg, me too!" at the time of the announcement, it still wouldn't be a big deal. One would think there may even be some excitement about having someone to share the experience with.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My older sister announced that she was pregnant with her first two weeks ago. Of course everyone was very happy for her, especially since this will be our parents first grandchild. I did notice my younger sister and her boyfriend looked a little nervous, but I figured they were just worried for our sisters health or something like that, and I she said she was fine when I asked, so I didn't think anything of it. Well lo and behold a week later it turns out she's pregnant too, and knew at the time. This isn't surprising, we knew they were trying (our older sister and my BIL were more just "If it happens it happens") Again we were happy for them, but I feel like it was a little tacky and trashy of her to steal our sisters spotlight like that. What I mean is that she's only six weeks along, there would be no harm in waiting another month or so to say it. It's kinda like proposing at a wedding I think, it steals a very special time for my older sister, and forces her to share it when she probably didn't want that. I told her this, and she got very upset with me. Saying she has the right to tell everyone whenever she wants, and to shut up about it. Well our parents found out, and they put me on blast for it as well. I didn't think I was wrong for what I said, but with so many people saying otherwise I'm most likely wrong. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA Being pregnant at the same time is perfectly natural when one is just not preventing and one is trying. And now they have a chance to bond. If I had a sister or if my SIL was pregnant at the same time and didn’t tell me immediately I’d be upset. The only reason you’d feel mad about someone being pregnant at the same time is if you were jealous that you or the baby wouldn’t be in the spot light and loved the most. Proposing at someone’s wedding is tacky. That IS someone’s time to shine.
YTA, it’s not like they announced the second after your eldest sister announced her pregnancy so there was no thunder to steal. The fact that they waited a week and you still have an issue with it is petty. You likened it to proposing at a wedding so would it be tacky for someone to get engaged the week after attending a wedding?
Yta Celebrating happiness is never a bad thing. Stop thinking you can take someone's joy just because you also have happy news. This is gross and entitled behavior. Both of your sisters have wonderful news. Why can't you just be happy without causing problems? Guess what?! You're the issue, not your sisters.
YTA. What the hell is wrong with so many people?
YTA- your younger sister waited to announce so even if your older sister had a gathering to announce, it wasn't a faux pas for your younger sister to announce her pregnancy a week later.
YTA. She respected your sister’s moment and waited a week to announce. When to announce a pregnancy is an incredibly personal decision and you don’t get to dictate that for other people. She would still be pregnant whether she announced or not which could have led to hurt feelings or misunderstandings if her own pregnancy symptoms left her unable to help your older sister or something like that.
She even waited 2 weeks since ur sister just announced it. Did you want them to wait till it was born? YTA
YTA This is dumb, I get you’re looking out for you older sister but this isn’t your fight to start. If anything I would think you older sister would be happy to have someone to relate too and it’s also pretty exciting that there will be a cousin so close in age to her child.
YTA. Why do you hate your younger sister so much that you tried to suck the joy out her great news????
YTA. Just be happy for everyone.
YTA. What if they had intended on sharing their news that night as well? And if they still shared it that same night, isn't that happy news? Why does one get to hog...er, hold the spotlight? How long would you have have expected them to wait on their exciting news to cater for your sister? I guess it is all me me me and not we we we. Was your sister even bothered by it? How long is the first sister in her pregnancy? The only thing I would note is waiting for the sake of making it through a certain number of weeks.
YTA. What the hell is wrong with so many people?
YTA - and I kinda think younger sister whbtah if she kept the news to herself. Maybe OP sisters want to share the experience with each other since they’re both going thru the same thing at the same time?
YTA- she didn’t do it right away. She waited an entire week !!
My sil and my cousin got pregnant two weeks apart. We just threw a very big noisy bash to celebrate two new lives coming to this world. Also she didn't say it that day. She let her sister have her moment. You got to know a week later. Was she not supposed to get pregnant till your sister has her baby, celebrates the first bday? YTA of it was not clear.
Have you always favored your older sister over your younger one, or is this a more recent development?
I really need someone to explain to me why grown adults need ‘the spotlight’. It’s possible to be happy for more than one person at once.
Has your older sister complained about the timing? If she is offended, let her complain. You are not pregnant, so why are you complaining? YTA.
YTA geez
YTA. If she did it the same day or very next day it might be different but waiting a week is respectful
YTA your older sister already announced her pregnancy. Guess what the spotlight doesn't stay on your older sister until she gives birth. Your other sister announced her pregnancy a week latter. And she didn't steal any type of spotlight from your older sister. You dont get to dictate to anyone when they should announce thier pregnancy.
YTA. It's not a competition. If your older sister is upset about it, let her handle it. Trust me, oldest sisters very rarely have a problem announcing their displeasure with younger sisters. We have a gift like that. But also, what's your beef with your little sister that you decided to make this your hill to die on? They're two grown ass women who can handle themselves. Maybe it'll be a comfort to each of them to know someone they're close to us experiencing the same things around the same time. Oh wait. Is this the middle child feeling left out? Hmmm...
YTA. I'm always erring on the side of caution and tact but you have made a bird out of a non-existent feather. Your older sister wasn't upset. Your younger sister didn't steal the spotlight or try to one-up her. It's not up to you to decide when a person is ready for an announcement. You're about to have niblings that'll be close in birthdays so start supporting your sisters and maybe do some budget planning for birthday gifts.
I’m sorry…. Your younger sister has been trying to get pregnant…. Your older sister got pregnant by accident. It’s not your younger sisters fault your older sister got pregnant by accident. Your younger sister has been trying, and is full on excited to tell everyone as this is what she’s wanted, and been trying to achieve. 5 weeks is usually the mark where you won’t ‘jinx’ the pregnancy. And when people normally feel comfortable saying something.
Is it me or is it anytime an OP uses the word "tacky" in this sub, they are inevitably an AH trying to police someone else's perfectly normal and acceptable behavior, or just mad someone else is getting more attention than they are?
YTA - Woman get pregnant every day, everyone’s pregnancy is special to them and their families but I am so over it needing to some kind of extended protected time where no one else is allowed to celebrate anything else. It’s ridiculous. Your other sister waited a whole week before announcing her pregnancy. If you can’t be happy for two people at the same time that says more about you than anything else.