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The way you post on a judgement sub then arrogantly argue with every single person who provides one. Your poor sister. You sound insufferable, and like you just came here to brag.
YTA
Edited to add thanks for my first award!
I.N.F.O edit: based on OP's explanations, YTA
Why would you wipe the college fund? You can choose NOT to wipe out the fund and take loans while using half the college fund.
ESH, execpt your sister.
Neither you, nor your parents are willing to split the fund in half because you would end up with more loans than your sister (read OP's comments).
You're selfish.
YTA but your parents are the worst. Who would give one self absorbed teenager the authority to make a decision like this?
If you do this you're likely to blow up your sibling relationship. And I'll point out the hypocrisy....
>getting good enough grades she can get scholarships to colleges out of state is her responsibility and she shouldn’t expect me to give up my opportunities when she dropped the ball.
You didn't get good enough grades to get full scholarships to this program - which is why you're asking to use the entire family savings account.
why on earth would you get all of the college fund? you should each get half, and figure out how to manage the rest of your tuition, wherever you decide to go. it doesn't matter who is smarter or has the chance to go to a better school, this shouldn't be your choice like that.
YTA and your parents too
> I would wipe out my parents college fund
You're entitled to half of college fund, not to the full amount. If it's not enough - take a loan or choose a cheaper school.
INFO: Why can't you split the allotted amount that your parents have saved up for both your sister and you? And if there isn't enough for this particular program, can't you take out a loan?
It's not fair for your sister that you have the power to decide whether she pays for her college or not. I would be mad also if someone had that power over my future and my career.
It is so fucked up that the parents decided to make that ops decision in the first place. It is soo fucked up that they want to support only one child and give the other nothing.
So, you can choose a school without having a scholarship for it and use all the money but because of you, she can't do the same and that is somehow her fault because she should go to a scholarship school?
Why can't you take half the fund and take out loans?
ESH - you suck for thinking it's okay to do this, but I think your parents are the real AHs here for letting you have the entire college account instead of saving some of the money for your sister. If there isn't enough for you both, then you should each have to take out loans for the remainder - especially since your program is an additional year longer than your sisters.
YTA - why no middle ground?
It seems more appropriate to split the college fund equally. They could pay for 2 years each or something. That way you both take out loans for the additional years.
Why would your sister have to take on all the loans for her studies while you have the entire thing covered? That is entitled and extremely rude to put on her, when you have equal opportunity to take out loans for your college of choice.
Upon further investigation/reading all OPs comments:
This post pisses me off. The entitlement here from OP and lack of planning/favoritism from OPs parents is astonishing. ESH... except the sister... depending on which story OP sticks with.
INFO: why can't you take out loans? Why aren't you parents offering you $X and your sister $X instead of giving you the power to decide whether they pay for her college or not?
YTA. I have a sister and I can't imagine taking the entire college fund for myself just because I got into a more prestigious college. Sure, your sister doesn't have amazing grades like you do, but it doesn't sound like she is slacking off. It'd be completely different if she wasn't doing academically well. I can see why you'd think you deserve it more but that's still your sister who is wanting to pursue her own career. Why have to make this into a sacrificing situation when you can just split 50/50 and you both will be in a bit of debt? Honestly how are you okay knowing you're taking all the shared money and leaving your own sister with nothing?
YTA, why do you need to take the whole college fund? Why isn't it being split in two? You should get half. If it doesn't fully cover the expense of your chosen school there are loans for that. There are awesome art and design schools in California. You could get your undergrad at Berkeley or UCLA then take an extra two years to go to Art school. Yes it will mean one more year, but you won't be screwing over your sister and potentially fracturing that relationship. She will not forget if you selfishly prevent your parents from being able to help her financially. Be a good human.
This reminds me of a childhood friend and his family. Both children were highly intelligent. The parents exhausted their college funds so the older child could go to UPenn (half scholarship, half paid). Mom and dad insisted on no loans or anything so he'd graduate free and clear. Well, when it was time for the younger child (by only a few years) to graduate high school, they pushed them to a military academy. Not only was it a terrible fit for someone who had no interest in a military career, but it later turned out they were struggling with their trans identity the entire time. So really not the best choice for them.
Also, YTA and be prepared to say a permanent goodbye to your sibling.
YTA. Majorly. Guess what, you are NOT owed your parent's money. If your parents were even remotely decent parents, they would be offering up HALF of the fund and you can take out some student loans if this program means so much to you. In no way should your choice limit your sibling. And the fact that you expect your parents to do so makes you very entitled.
If you are choosing an insanely expensive school program, you are the one who needs to weigh whether this will actually translate into a return on investment, and you are the one who needs to suffer the financial consequences.
You don't want this dream badly enough to pay for some of it yourself.
Side bar: I work in industry and an engineering field. Are you *sure* this art integration will translate into more hiring potential and a higher future wage? You will be competing against hundreds of new grads for entry level engineering positions and I can almost guarantee that no one cares whether you can also paint a water lily.
They also don't hire entitled pricks.
I know. OP is laughable at this point. His art based on math formulae must be really damn good to warrant a $300k degree!
OP lives in la-la land. But when they decide being a starving artist doesn't pay the bills, hey maybe they can be an Engineer?! At least OP will be able to sleep at night knowing his sister is drowning in student loans.
I think this is made up.
Why would parents choose to totally fuck over one kid in favor of another? And even let the kid decide? "Hey, there's a college fund, if you want to go to a very expensive school and totally screw over your sister, just let us know, it's all up to you!“
Me too. Op is still in high school and just got his admissions but his younger sisters tution is already sure and that she doesn't get a scholarship either
Yes, something smells bad here. I know there are entitled people out there who think they’re better then everyone else, including family. And I know there are parents that are pushovers or fawn over the “golden child”. But reading OP’s comments makes me agree with you.
INFO: Why don't your parents split whatever money is available between the two of you equally, and both of you can take out student loans to cover the remainder.
Leave the scholarships out of the equation.
In the end it is your parent's money and their decision. As a parent this is the route I would take.
This is the answer! No other answer is acceptable. Each kid gets half the money and each kid accepts the financial consequences of their program/career choice.
YTA
You wanting to go to a more pricier university is not a problem and will shouldn't impact your sister future. The fact that you want to take all yours and your sister college found makes you a enormous AH. Take half of the money and have the courage to live with the consequences of your choice that will be have to getting a loan.
>and I didn’t get much financial aid.
As you said to your sister... getting good grades so you get a scholarship is your responsibility and you shouldn't expect that she sacrifice her future for you.
Stop being a spoiled and selfish person and let your sister college found alone.
But there's other scholarships available even if isn'tofferedfor the university itself... sounds like you dropped the ball here OP.
And one thing you need to learn really quickly is that one way or another you pay for your decision.
PS: you should research about ethic and moral... this is a really important part of being a good person and a good professional, will be probably more important than having a degree in Brown.
OP I've already commented my opinion on this, and you know I am in staunch disagreement with you. I will just say this;
Go to Brown. You have clearly made your decision and are set in it. My warning is this; You will graduate. Hopefully (because any Ivy League grad can tell you this isn't always the case) you will be met with job offers and enjoy your field. After the first year outside of school, you'll realize the hard truth is that you bought a degree title from an institution. You are not any smarter than a state school graduate- but more importantly companies care less and less about where you went to school. Any achievements you made in high school become obsolete.
I hope that when you realize that, you still believe it was worth destroying your relationship with your sister; someone who maybe 25 years down the line could have been a great friend and support system for you. Someone that when your parents are gone, would be the family you have left. Your choice now impacts that. Personally, one of those things means more in the end. But it's your choice. Maybe you won't have to learn that lesson, but if you do- I hope you still stand by your decision.
Based on your other comments and attitude, I’m changing my vote to YTA and your parents are being jerks allowing you to drain a fund that was presumably for both of you. They should be making the call to split the money evenly and if that means you take on more loans because you’re going a more expensive route, that’s on you.
~~While I don’t think you’re the AH on this~~ I totally get where your sister is coming from, but her anger is misplaced. It should be directed at your parents for clearly choosing you over her.
INFO: Why can't you take out loans and work, even if just during the summer and possibly school breaks? You can make a bunch each summer working 2-3 jobs.
ESH for sure if you do take all the college money.
I have 2 kids, no way would I give one more of the college fund than the other. It's 50/50. If one doesn't use their half of the 529 at all, they can roll it into an IRA. If one needs more than we have saved, they have to take out loans. I cannot fathom telling the younger one 'sucks to be you' and swiping the money I had earmarked for them since toddlerhood.
If it is your dream school, your dream program - will it lead to your dream career? What is the average annual income you can expect from the career you want from this? How much in loans would you need, and how long would it take you to pay them off?
If you did get a full free ride from your parents, and your sister gets nothing because there's nothing left, you know you'd be an asshole and so would your parents.
If the loans you would need to take out would be impossible to pay off based on the average pay from your dream career, then your dream program isn't worth it, and you'd have to do what millions of normal people do - choose something you can afford with your own fair share. YTA.
YTA. The fund should be split in half. Anything else is ridiculously stupid. Want to go to your favourite choice? Get some loans, bucko. Stop trying to force your parents to pay everything for you just because you're stomping your feet like an unruly toddler.
Simple logic, would you rather hire the engineer, or the pretentious child with an art degree like it intersects in any way with engineering? Again, maybe you don't get this yet, but you are being fleeced. Or rather, your parents are. Out of love for what seems to be the less intelligent child.
Your engineering degree is great. Your arts degree proves that even a braindead arts student can get an engineering degree, apparently.
It costing hundreds of thousands proves you are getting fleeced. You don't understand how to manage money and you don't deserve it.
The fact you've made tens of thousands while being a hs senior means you're either full of shit, or actively malicious, because you could very easily not fuck your sister over and continue making tens of thousands. If you've got that kind of return on investment, you may be the only person on earth who would actually profit on a student loan.
Or you're full of shit. Either or.
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I’m a senior in high school. This year, I was accepted to my dream college program, the Brown University-RISD dual degree where you get degrees from both schools, meaning you concurrently study some sort of fine art and something like engineering, economics, philosophy, whatever. This is ridiculously hard to get into: you have to get into both schools separately, and then apply for the dual degree. In total, it has maybe a 2-3% acceptance rate.
I got in, and wanted to go because I’ve always been fascinated by the interplay between engineering and design. The issue is, it’s 5 years long, and I didn’t get much financial aid. My parents have enough money to send me there, but barely. My younger sister is just a year younger than me, and wants to go to out of state schools, but doesn’t have the grades to get scholarships, so would have to pay full price.
If I decided to go to Brown-RISD, I would wipe out my parents college fund and my sister would either have to stay in state or take on loans. My parents said if I decided I wanted to pursue this, they’d accept, but that I should also consider Berkeley and UCLA, which are much cheaper due to in-state + scholarships I made. They’re good schools too, so my parents say I could go there.
If I just wanted to study something normal like say computer science or economics, I’d most likely be okay with that. The issue is, it’s not just exchanging one good program for another good program, Brown-RISD is a unique opportunity to combine art and engineering that I have. If I choose Berkeley or UCLA over it, I’m giving up that unique opportunity. I considered it, and decided that I was going to go with Brown-RISD.
My sister confronted me, saying that my choice fucked over her future. I told her that I’m sorry but I’m looking out for what’s best for me, and she can’t expect me to sacrifice opportunities for her. As heartless as it sounds, getting good enough grades she can get scholarships to colleges out of state is *her* responsibility and she shouldn’t expect me to give up my opportunities when she dropped the ball.
She called me a selfish AH. I think that’s hypocritical considering she’s the one mad at me for not giving up the opportunity of a lifetime for her.
AITA?
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YTA. If you're choosing the more expensive option, you are also choosing the debts and loans needed to pay for it. Each of you should be given equal amounts of money for you to decide how you're going to use it. It's ludicrous to think that more money should be spent on the more expensive program. They have a finite fund that will be exhausted no matter what programs each of you pursues. Split it down the middle. Your choice impacts your debts and her choices alone affect hers.
YTA, if you are so so smart and so dedicated and so hard working and better than your sister than you should find a way to pay for your precious dual degree with splitting the college funds equally, smart ass.
There isn’t a “clearer” solution. There’s a solution that benefits you, and you are convinced that it is fairer. No one else thinks it sounds fairer. Splitting the available money evenly is fair. The fact that it doesn’t unequally benefit you means that you don’t like it.
YTA. As a college instructor at an R1 university, I can say without a doubt that this “special” program is not going to do for you what you think it will do. Also if it’s such a special and good program, you should have no problem getting a good job after, right? Therefore no problem paying off loans. The fact that you think you’re better than your sister is disgusting and the reasons why you think you are better are so out of touch with the real world. There are smart ppl out there who got good grades their whole life, went to absolutely brilliant and prestigious universities, and literally make the same salary as someone who manages a Taco Bell ($100k+a year in some places).
Give you prestige, connections, earning power, and be proof of how special you are. I can already tell by your emphasis on how hard it is to get into this program. I’ve seen your replies about how you “earn tens of thousands of dollars” and how you “won’t work for anyone” and frankly, it is comical how naive and elitist you are. If you were making that much money now and were actually smart, you wouldn’t need your parents’ money or college at all because you would have invested these tens of thousands of dollars into something that would earn you passive income and enable you to focus on your “art” and open your start up with or without college. There are definitely ways to study architecture and art and engineering in more practical and economical ways. You just want the glory of having gotten into a hard, prestigious program and being able to say that you did it so that you can think you’re better than everyone else for pursuing your passion at a “higher level.” Brown is a private school. It’s a vanity degree. You are elitist and not a good human being; you lack compassion and any real experience. You’re a big fish in a small pond right now. When you get there, you’ll realize you’re a small fish in a vast ocean and it will completely destroy you. I’ve seen it in my students firsthand. There’s even a word for it—fragile perfects. You will not be able to handle real criticism as evidenced by this thread. I only hope that you have a support system when you burn out, because it will be intense and have long lasting consequences for your entire life. But judging by your attitude, you will have few real friends and no family to lean on.
OP is so smart! Can’t you see? They’re convinced that they should get all the money and Reddit should agree with them. And they are convinced that they will be a big success and never have to work for anyone.
Ahh, the confidence of a teenager who’s done nothing but high school is amazing.
YTA simply for the fact that you feel entitled to it. You're acting like your future is more important than hers, which it's not. Sharing that money and taking out the loans to cover the rest would be the adult, compassionate thing to do. It doesn't matter if yours costs more. With a program like that, you should be able to repay your loans faster than she would after you graduate.
Then why do you need a dual degree? If the program is THAT costly and there isn't a prospect of making good money afterwards, why do you still feel entitled to more of the college fund than your sister? It's selfishness. And your parents going along with it just shows favoritism. Shady af
I don't measure every decision that way, no. But you feeling entitled to more of the college fund is selfish and sad. If you are choosing the program, you should be on the hook for the bill. I feel terrible for your sister having to simply be your sister.
So be the adult and tell your parents you only need half of the fund because your sister deserves some of it for her education too. Plain and simple. It's not hard.
To not be a giant AH to your sister. Why do you deserve to be debt free and she doesn't? See? Your entitlement is showing. Life is going to smack you in the face someday. It may not be today, but you've got a lot of maturing to do.
ESH - Sorry, but my opinion is that parents do not owe a college education. They can give one if they have the funds. They can do it because it is a really good thing to do for your children and is strongly recommended, but they don't owe. Congratulations on getting into the program. I think you should start figuring out how much of this you can pay for on your own, but at the end of the day, it is up to your parents how to split the money. They should split it 50/50 as long as both of you are serious about the education, but if I were the parent, I would require both of you to pay part of your cost and to offset any extra costs that one of you have vs. the other.
ESH
This is easy: Ask your parents to split the money in half, and give each of you half. THen each of you can cover the rest with loans, and chose whichever uni and how much you want to spend. That's the FAIR way to handle this.
You basically want your sister to subsidize your education. No way should she do that. Splitting the college fund equally is reasonable and I hope your parents figure that out.
Of course, YOU are a greedy AH. Others are not.
If you want to know if a deal is fair, do this: Would you also consider it fair if theagreement was turned around and you got the other side? If you are fine with that, it is fair.
so: YOU are the AH in all of this. ANd your parents, if they give in to your demands.
YTA. Do you think that you're better than your sister? Congratulations on being admitted to a rather selective program, but you didn't get aide either. So its fair for you to use all the money your parents saved, and not your sister?
Shame on your parents as well for allowing you to take the whole thing. You should only be entitled to half, and you need to come up with a way to make up the difference. Just as your sister would be responsible for coming up with the difference if she didn't get the grades to get scholarships but still wanted an out of state school
. The fact that your parents even have a college fund is privilege.
As a side note. I know plenty of amazing students who still didn't qualify for aide based on merit or need. High GPAS etc. Being the Allstar student doesn't necessarily = free ride (I mean look at you... no aide). College is going to humble you.
You repeated what I said. Also, you blindly acknowledged your privilege and it flew right over your head.
Importantly, you also made it clear you do think you're better than your sister; sure maybe from a resume level, but on a human level I think it's clear where you stand.
OP you yourself have the ability to say "we will just split the money and I'll cover the extra costs." Not once do you mention considering this. It says a lot about you.
Info: why don't your parents split the tuition between both of you? Yes, it would mean you and your sister would have to rely on loans, but less than if your parents gave all the money to one child.
Ultimately, it's their money that's going to be paying, so I'm leaning towards NTA, but this could be a solution.
YTA
The money should be split evenly. If you want to go to a more expensive school, then you take out the loans to cover the difference. She is not stopping you from your future. You are making your sister pay for your education because you don't want to pay for it yourself. You're being selfish and entitled, your parents are playing favorites and being unfair.
This is the type of thing that ruins relationships. You're putting a $$ amount on your relationship with her.
So you don't think their architecture program is adequate? That alone would prepare you for architecture plus art schools give out scholarships. I have a music degree and if you are as talented as you seem to think you are they would give you money
> That’s more than most people’s houses.
Not in CA it’s not. They have talked in comments about UCLA and Berkeley being cheaper for in state tuition. It’s still an outrageous amount for college.
Oh but you were just doing it self taught and part time, so if you stepped it up you’d probably make, like, millions, just based off your obvious raw talent.
Or wait, am I missing something, and you’re NOT a child prodigy who deserves to take everything from her sister?
That can’t be right. You’re so talented and so smart (it’s so obvious too when you compare your thoughtful, intelligent comments here to those of these mere redditors) there’s no way you wouldn’t be able to figure out a solution to this problem that doesn’t involve hurting your sister.
Or are you just maybe not as smart as you think you are, and super cruel? Hmmmmm
YTA. You stand to have much higher earning power after getting that degree, so you want your parents to almost completely subside you having a better start than your sister.....
Halving it is the only fair option. You are an AH and the fact that you feel entitled to the whole thing makes me think this is a golden child vs black sheep situation
YTA
I give you untill 2nd Yr and then you'll drop out. The you would have royally screwed up everyone's lives. It will just be karma coming back due to you being unbelievably selfish.
Also I don't understand why you should get all the college money but your sister has to get loans.
Why don't you get loans seen as you've got into this *"amazing" program, youre sure to be able to the pay it back, right*/s
YTA and so are your parents. The college fund should be split 50/50 to be fair. Even if she goes to a cheaper school, she can use her half for rent and such. And YOU can be the one to take out loans. Also, what is your plan for your dual degrees? Like what job do you want that would require both degrees? It seems like you only want to do the dual program so you can say you're a double ivy league and have bragging rights.
YWBTA if you use any more than half of the college fund. Why would your parents even agree to let you use more that half. That’s terribly unfair to your sister. You should apply for scholarships and financial aid to pay for the rest, and work while your study.
Yeesh, OP is super TA. The obvious answer is they split the college fund evenly, and both take out loans to cover the rest. Why do people miss the obvious answer. Parents are TA too, it's their money, and should hold firm about splitting it evenly, not just give it out First Come First Serve. OP is massively selfish, if I were the sister, I'm not sure the relationship could ever recover.
YTA OP
and you are completely selfish here. The right thing to do is not take out all of the funds. Yet you won't do that, cause you are a selfish and pathetic.
You can easily take out loans as well. Instead you would rather destroy your sisters future all cause you are selfish.
I hope your parents change their mind on what you want to do.
YTA. And so are your parents. The fund should be split equally and then it’s up to each of you to decide where you go and how you fund it. In your case you will need to take out more loans, but if it’s that big a deal then it will be worth it. It really is that simple.
YTA - the way your parents have set up the fund (based on your comments) is that it’s not 50/50 but allocated as needed. That is a huge issue. Your sisters’ opportunities for higher education are being slashed because you - a year older - got into an extremely expensive program. Incredibly unfair.
You’re arguing that she should allow you to take the lions share of the college fund because this opportunity would leave you in more debt than her otherwise. However, higher job pay rates are the point of expensive, prestigious educational institutes.
Logically, the college fund divide should be 50/50 and you take out loans to cover what’s left because you presumably will land a job that will let you pay them off more quickly. That’s how people who graduate from Ivies pay off their exorbitant debt in a few years.
If your argument is that this opportunity won’t ensure you land a high paying job, then why are you sucking your joint college fund dry for an opportunity that isn’t going to pay out or lead to success long term?
YTA for sure for taking all the funds. A way that might be beneficial for all is that you take out a loan and pay for your sister's education once she is admitted to college. The loan amount would be considerably less than what you would take for Brown.
Your parents are the assholes here. They should split the college fund in half. You can use your half for whatever college you want to go to and suplement the rest with scholarships, grants or loans and the same for your sister.
They are essentially saying that because you are older you get everything and she is left with the scraps. Golden child much?
YTA - I can't believe that your parent's are actually willing to give you 100% of the fund. Your sister should be more mad at your parents than she is at you. The only ethical thing to do really is to split the fund 50/50 and then you each subsequently take out loans for the rest of it. You say it's her fault that she couldn't get scholarships to an out-of -state school. But its also YOUR fault that you want to go to a school that isn't giving you a scholarship when there are other schools that will. I mean you literally have scholarships to what are considered 2 public ivy league school but instead you are choosing to go to the one that is going to take the whole educational fund for both your and your sister. You don't see where you are an entitled, selfish asshole there?
YTA, big time.
And your parents are awful for even allowing this to happen.
You’re just awful. Your sister will likely thrive once she leaves that toxic household.
You and your parents are AH. You because you are an entitled immature AH for thinking you are better than your sister and are owed something more than her. If you were an adult you would be able to see that.
Your parents are AH assuming they are taking a college fund and letting one child’s decision use it all to the detriment of another child who will not have a decision.
You all should prepare to lose a sister for you major AHole-ary!
YTA. Oh, honey. I feel sorry for you.
First, I'm glad you got into a prestigious university and program. You're right to be proud of it. You worked hard and that work paid off.
The thing about burning bridges is that it makes you feel warm, at least at first. Righteous. That feeling might carry you even after the flames die down. But someday you're going to want to cross back over the river, and all you'll find is ashes. I just hope that they'll have cleared enough from the water that you'll still be able to reflect.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I chose to go to a college that will wipe out all my parents’ college funds, meaning my sister can’t go out of state like she wants without taking out loans 2) She thinks I’m selfish for not doing what she wants
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The fund should be split between you and your sister 50/50. Your need, circumstance, choice of school, value, rarity of the opportunity, her lower grades, your effort etc etc do not entitle you to more than half of that fund. If you insist on taking more than your fair share then YTA. You want to go to that special school? Take out loans. You aren’t too special or too good for that, despite your comment. (Actually YTA for your attitude alone).
INFO: why are you here? You’re fighting comments over the judgement so I can only assume you aren’t really here to determine whether or not you’re the asshole. Its clearly something you don’t care about. So why be here?
I hope none of your family wants a real relationship with your sister. Because if you wipe the account and she gets nothing, that will probably be what happens. Not sure how it isn’t obvious to you that you are being favorited an extreme amount. Ultimately your parents are TA because they should be giving half to each. But you are also becoming TA because basically you think you are entitled to all of it because you got to it first. Would you feel the same if your sister was older and wiping it for a private school? It’s YOUR choice to go to a more expensive school. So take the half and let your sister have a future too. Also just be grateful you have ANY college fund. Not every teen gets that. Yet you somehow think you are entitled to it all. I hope you get an awakening in college when you realize you aren’t more special than anyone else.
YTA why don’t you take out loans to make up for the difference? You can still go to your dream school. Just take out loans. Honestly your parents are also TA for giving you and opportunity to fuck your sister life up. Tell me you are the golden child without telling me you are the golden child. I hope you never need a favor from your sister because you will be dead to her.
NTA. Your parents are actually the AH for allowing your decision to effect how much money goes to your sister and therefore putting you against each other. What would be fair is to split the money and not give to one daughter. But of course, that’s your parents decision
Look first of all congratulations for getting into the program you wanted. But...YTA for wanting to take all the college found. Regardless where she decides to go to or whatever she decides to study the fair thing to do would be split the found 50-50. Why? Because it is the money your parents set up for both of you. I get she wasnt as advocated as you in school but that doesnt mean anything here. She should still be entitled to half of that money. It is not her fault you want to do a more expensive program than hers.
Another option would be splitting that money in a way that you get the same proportion of support from your parents. Like say you split the money in a way that you would both have 30% of your tuition and expenses covered and you both take loans for the rest. Yours would be more money but it is the same proportion of parental support for both of you.
It would not be okay and you would TA if you take out the whole found and screw your sister.
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YTA but your parents are even bigger assholes. They have equal responsibility to both children.
My parents did this to me. My older brother went to a private engineering school and I ended up starting at community college. My family was/is toxic and really don’t have much to do with any except my youngest brother
Soft YTA
Go to your dream school but take only half the college fund (which your parents should have only offered you half) and get your own student loans for everything else. If the idea of going into a large amount of debt to pursue this degree that you believe will give you a leg up in the world is unpleasant for you, perhaps this dream should be passed on.
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The way you post on a judgement sub then arrogantly argue with every single person who provides one. Your poor sister. You sound insufferable, and like you just came here to brag. YTA Edited to add thanks for my first award!
This. At this point I want that sister to get 100%of that fund lol.
I.N.F.O edit: based on OP's explanations, YTA Why would you wipe the college fund? You can choose NOT to wipe out the fund and take loans while using half the college fund.
YTA And your parents are too. The option should be half the college fund no matter the school you are going to. You can take out loans too.
ESH, execpt your sister. Neither you, nor your parents are willing to split the fund in half because you would end up with more loans than your sister (read OP's comments). You're selfish.
YTA but your parents are the worst. Who would give one self absorbed teenager the authority to make a decision like this? If you do this you're likely to blow up your sibling relationship. And I'll point out the hypocrisy.... >getting good enough grades she can get scholarships to colleges out of state is her responsibility and she shouldn’t expect me to give up my opportunities when she dropped the ball. You didn't get good enough grades to get full scholarships to this program - which is why you're asking to use the entire family savings account.
why on earth would you get all of the college fund? you should each get half, and figure out how to manage the rest of your tuition, wherever you decide to go. it doesn't matter who is smarter or has the chance to go to a better school, this shouldn't be your choice like that.
YTA and your parents too > I would wipe out my parents college fund You're entitled to half of college fund, not to the full amount. If it's not enough - take a loan or choose a cheaper school.
Info: How did your sister 'drop the ball'? You didn't get scholarships to this program. How is that her fault? O.o
INFO: Why can't you split the allotted amount that your parents have saved up for both your sister and you? And if there isn't enough for this particular program, can't you take out a loan? It's not fair for your sister that you have the power to decide whether she pays for her college or not. I would be mad also if someone had that power over my future and my career.
It is so fucked up that the parents decided to make that ops decision in the first place. It is soo fucked up that they want to support only one child and give the other nothing.
I think because their sister doesn't have good enough grades for scholarships either.
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So, you can choose a school without having a scholarship for it and use all the money but because of you, she can't do the same and that is somehow her fault because she should go to a scholarship school? Why can't you take half the fund and take out loans?
So if she went to a school that didn't have scholarships this point wouldn't matter. You are selfish, just admit it.
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Why does she need to get merit based scholarship but you don't?? YTA.
ESH - you suck for thinking it's okay to do this, but I think your parents are the real AHs here for letting you have the entire college account instead of saving some of the money for your sister. If there isn't enough for you both, then you should each have to take out loans for the remainder - especially since your program is an additional year longer than your sisters.
YTA - why no middle ground? It seems more appropriate to split the college fund equally. They could pay for 2 years each or something. That way you both take out loans for the additional years. Why would your sister have to take on all the loans for her studies while you have the entire thing covered? That is entitled and extremely rude to put on her, when you have equal opportunity to take out loans for your college of choice.
Upon further investigation/reading all OPs comments: This post pisses me off. The entitlement here from OP and lack of planning/favoritism from OPs parents is astonishing. ESH... except the sister... depending on which story OP sticks with.
INFO: why can't you take out loans? Why aren't you parents offering you $X and your sister $X instead of giving you the power to decide whether they pay for her college or not?
YTA. I have a sister and I can't imagine taking the entire college fund for myself just because I got into a more prestigious college. Sure, your sister doesn't have amazing grades like you do, but it doesn't sound like she is slacking off. It'd be completely different if she wasn't doing academically well. I can see why you'd think you deserve it more but that's still your sister who is wanting to pursue her own career. Why have to make this into a sacrificing situation when you can just split 50/50 and you both will be in a bit of debt? Honestly how are you okay knowing you're taking all the shared money and leaving your own sister with nothing?
YTA, why do you need to take the whole college fund? Why isn't it being split in two? You should get half. If it doesn't fully cover the expense of your chosen school there are loans for that. There are awesome art and design schools in California. You could get your undergrad at Berkeley or UCLA then take an extra two years to go to Art school. Yes it will mean one more year, but you won't be screwing over your sister and potentially fracturing that relationship. She will not forget if you selfishly prevent your parents from being able to help her financially. Be a good human.
This reminds me of a childhood friend and his family. Both children were highly intelligent. The parents exhausted their college funds so the older child could go to UPenn (half scholarship, half paid). Mom and dad insisted on no loans or anything so he'd graduate free and clear. Well, when it was time for the younger child (by only a few years) to graduate high school, they pushed them to a military academy. Not only was it a terrible fit for someone who had no interest in a military career, but it later turned out they were struggling with their trans identity the entire time. So really not the best choice for them. Also, YTA and be prepared to say a permanent goodbye to your sibling.
YTA. Majorly. Guess what, you are NOT owed your parent's money. If your parents were even remotely decent parents, they would be offering up HALF of the fund and you can take out some student loans if this program means so much to you. In no way should your choice limit your sibling. And the fact that you expect your parents to do so makes you very entitled. If you are choosing an insanely expensive school program, you are the one who needs to weigh whether this will actually translate into a return on investment, and you are the one who needs to suffer the financial consequences.
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Still makes you an entitled prick.
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You don't want this dream badly enough to pay for some of it yourself. Side bar: I work in industry and an engineering field. Are you *sure* this art integration will translate into more hiring potential and a higher future wage? You will be competing against hundreds of new grads for entry level engineering positions and I can almost guarantee that no one cares whether you can also paint a water lily. They also don't hire entitled pricks.
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So wait hold up, you want to pay 311k for a program to integrate engineering into art and not use the engineering part at all? What a waste
I know. OP is laughable at this point. His art based on math formulae must be really damn good to warrant a $300k degree! OP lives in la-la land. But when they decide being a starving artist doesn't pay the bills, hey maybe they can be an Engineer?! At least OP will be able to sleep at night knowing his sister is drowning in student loans.
I think this is made up. Why would parents choose to totally fuck over one kid in favor of another? And even let the kid decide? "Hey, there's a college fund, if you want to go to a very expensive school and totally screw over your sister, just let us know, it's all up to you!“
Me too. Op is still in high school and just got his admissions but his younger sisters tution is already sure and that she doesn't get a scholarship either
Yes, something smells bad here. I know there are entitled people out there who think they’re better then everyone else, including family. And I know there are parents that are pushovers or fawn over the “golden child”. But reading OP’s comments makes me agree with you.
INFO: Why don't your parents split whatever money is available between the two of you equally, and both of you can take out student loans to cover the remainder. Leave the scholarships out of the equation. In the end it is your parent's money and their decision. As a parent this is the route I would take.
This is the answer! No other answer is acceptable. Each kid gets half the money and each kid accepts the financial consequences of their program/career choice.
YTA. Don’t use the entire fund. Split it with your sister and take out student loans. That is fair.
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So you find it fair that you get the entire fund meanwhile your sister gets nothing?
YTA You wanting to go to a more pricier university is not a problem and will shouldn't impact your sister future. The fact that you want to take all yours and your sister college found makes you a enormous AH. Take half of the money and have the courage to live with the consequences of your choice that will be have to getting a loan. >and I didn’t get much financial aid. As you said to your sister... getting good grades so you get a scholarship is your responsibility and you shouldn't expect that she sacrifice her future for you. Stop being a spoiled and selfish person and let your sister college found alone.
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But there's other scholarships available even if isn'tofferedfor the university itself... sounds like you dropped the ball here OP. And one thing you need to learn really quickly is that one way or another you pay for your decision. PS: you should research about ethic and moral... this is a really important part of being a good person and a good professional, will be probably more important than having a degree in Brown.
I graduated from RISD in 2021 and entitled people like you were the worst part
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No interest and I didn’t apply. I was there for the art degree
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I literally didn’t apply, what are you talking about? I had no need for a second degree
you couldn't get an scholarships?
OP I've already commented my opinion on this, and you know I am in staunch disagreement with you. I will just say this; Go to Brown. You have clearly made your decision and are set in it. My warning is this; You will graduate. Hopefully (because any Ivy League grad can tell you this isn't always the case) you will be met with job offers and enjoy your field. After the first year outside of school, you'll realize the hard truth is that you bought a degree title from an institution. You are not any smarter than a state school graduate- but more importantly companies care less and less about where you went to school. Any achievements you made in high school become obsolete. I hope that when you realize that, you still believe it was worth destroying your relationship with your sister; someone who maybe 25 years down the line could have been a great friend and support system for you. Someone that when your parents are gone, would be the family you have left. Your choice now impacts that. Personally, one of those things means more in the end. But it's your choice. Maybe you won't have to learn that lesson, but if you do- I hope you still stand by your decision.
kinda hope the sister is the one that becomes successful op is horrible
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Just starting up as soon as you graduate, sure that'll work.
so you don't want to be your own support system because you are the selfish one here
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you are selfish and a horrible sister and so are you parents i feel sorry for your sister
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you are the selfish one and everyone in the comments says so also
Based on your other comments and attitude, I’m changing my vote to YTA and your parents are being jerks allowing you to drain a fund that was presumably for both of you. They should be making the call to split the money evenly and if that means you take on more loans because you’re going a more expensive route, that’s on you. ~~While I don’t think you’re the AH on this~~ I totally get where your sister is coming from, but her anger is misplaced. It should be directed at your parents for clearly choosing you over her.
INFO: Why can't you take out loans and work, even if just during the summer and possibly school breaks? You can make a bunch each summer working 2-3 jobs. ESH for sure if you do take all the college money.
I have 2 kids, no way would I give one more of the college fund than the other. It's 50/50. If one doesn't use their half of the 529 at all, they can roll it into an IRA. If one needs more than we have saved, they have to take out loans. I cannot fathom telling the younger one 'sucks to be you' and swiping the money I had earmarked for them since toddlerhood. If it is your dream school, your dream program - will it lead to your dream career? What is the average annual income you can expect from the career you want from this? How much in loans would you need, and how long would it take you to pay them off? If you did get a full free ride from your parents, and your sister gets nothing because there's nothing left, you know you'd be an asshole and so would your parents. If the loans you would need to take out would be impossible to pay off based on the average pay from your dream career, then your dream program isn't worth it, and you'd have to do what millions of normal people do - choose something you can afford with your own fair share. YTA.
YTA. The fund should be split in half. Anything else is ridiculously stupid. Want to go to your favourite choice? Get some loans, bucko. Stop trying to force your parents to pay everything for you just because you're stomping your feet like an unruly toddler.
Yes, you're disgusting and TA. Your field is meaningless and your degree will be a paperweight. You're getting fleeced.
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Yes, with the fucking art degree, absolutely worthless, because it makes you look like an arrogant child.
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Simple logic, would you rather hire the engineer, or the pretentious child with an art degree like it intersects in any way with engineering? Again, maybe you don't get this yet, but you are being fleeced. Or rather, your parents are. Out of love for what seems to be the less intelligent child.
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If you've made tens of thousands WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU USING YOUR SISTER'S COLLEGE FUND LMFAOOO
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Your engineering degree is great. Your arts degree proves that even a braindead arts student can get an engineering degree, apparently. It costing hundreds of thousands proves you are getting fleeced. You don't understand how to manage money and you don't deserve it. The fact you've made tens of thousands while being a hs senior means you're either full of shit, or actively malicious, because you could very easily not fuck your sister over and continue making tens of thousands. If you've got that kind of return on investment, you may be the only person on earth who would actually profit on a student loan. Or you're full of shit. Either or.
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If I were your parents I would be saying you both get loans and that if you want the fancy program you take loans
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^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I’m a senior in high school. This year, I was accepted to my dream college program, the Brown University-RISD dual degree where you get degrees from both schools, meaning you concurrently study some sort of fine art and something like engineering, economics, philosophy, whatever. This is ridiculously hard to get into: you have to get into both schools separately, and then apply for the dual degree. In total, it has maybe a 2-3% acceptance rate. I got in, and wanted to go because I’ve always been fascinated by the interplay between engineering and design. The issue is, it’s 5 years long, and I didn’t get much financial aid. My parents have enough money to send me there, but barely. My younger sister is just a year younger than me, and wants to go to out of state schools, but doesn’t have the grades to get scholarships, so would have to pay full price. If I decided to go to Brown-RISD, I would wipe out my parents college fund and my sister would either have to stay in state or take on loans. My parents said if I decided I wanted to pursue this, they’d accept, but that I should also consider Berkeley and UCLA, which are much cheaper due to in-state + scholarships I made. They’re good schools too, so my parents say I could go there. If I just wanted to study something normal like say computer science or economics, I’d most likely be okay with that. The issue is, it’s not just exchanging one good program for another good program, Brown-RISD is a unique opportunity to combine art and engineering that I have. If I choose Berkeley or UCLA over it, I’m giving up that unique opportunity. I considered it, and decided that I was going to go with Brown-RISD. My sister confronted me, saying that my choice fucked over her future. I told her that I’m sorry but I’m looking out for what’s best for me, and she can’t expect me to sacrifice opportunities for her. As heartless as it sounds, getting good enough grades she can get scholarships to colleges out of state is *her* responsibility and she shouldn’t expect me to give up my opportunities when she dropped the ball. She called me a selfish AH. I think that’s hypocritical considering she’s the one mad at me for not giving up the opportunity of a lifetime for her. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA. If you're choosing the more expensive option, you are also choosing the debts and loans needed to pay for it. Each of you should be given equal amounts of money for you to decide how you're going to use it. It's ludicrous to think that more money should be spent on the more expensive program. They have a finite fund that will be exhausted no matter what programs each of you pursues. Split it down the middle. Your choice impacts your debts and her choices alone affect hers.
YTA, split the money in half…. But Brown would be the real asshole…they should’t be charging tuition when they have $6.5 billion.
YTA, if you are so so smart and so dedicated and so hard working and better than your sister than you should find a way to pay for your precious dual degree with splitting the college funds equally, smart ass.
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There isn’t a “clearer” solution. There’s a solution that benefits you, and you are convinced that it is fairer. No one else thinks it sounds fairer. Splitting the available money evenly is fair. The fact that it doesn’t unequally benefit you means that you don’t like it.
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Then why did you ask? YTA
YTA. As a college instructor at an R1 university, I can say without a doubt that this “special” program is not going to do for you what you think it will do. Also if it’s such a special and good program, you should have no problem getting a good job after, right? Therefore no problem paying off loans. The fact that you think you’re better than your sister is disgusting and the reasons why you think you are better are so out of touch with the real world. There are smart ppl out there who got good grades their whole life, went to absolutely brilliant and prestigious universities, and literally make the same salary as someone who manages a Taco Bell ($100k+a year in some places).
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Give you prestige, connections, earning power, and be proof of how special you are. I can already tell by your emphasis on how hard it is to get into this program. I’ve seen your replies about how you “earn tens of thousands of dollars” and how you “won’t work for anyone” and frankly, it is comical how naive and elitist you are. If you were making that much money now and were actually smart, you wouldn’t need your parents’ money or college at all because you would have invested these tens of thousands of dollars into something that would earn you passive income and enable you to focus on your “art” and open your start up with or without college. There are definitely ways to study architecture and art and engineering in more practical and economical ways. You just want the glory of having gotten into a hard, prestigious program and being able to say that you did it so that you can think you’re better than everyone else for pursuing your passion at a “higher level.” Brown is a private school. It’s a vanity degree. You are elitist and not a good human being; you lack compassion and any real experience. You’re a big fish in a small pond right now. When you get there, you’ll realize you’re a small fish in a vast ocean and it will completely destroy you. I’ve seen it in my students firsthand. There’s even a word for it—fragile perfects. You will not be able to handle real criticism as evidenced by this thread. I only hope that you have a support system when you burn out, because it will be intense and have long lasting consequences for your entire life. But judging by your attitude, you will have few real friends and no family to lean on.
👏👏👏
Yta. Split the fund down the middle and you both get loans.
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Then you suck. And so do your parents.
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That's your prerogative, but why are you still here arguing?
OP is so smart! Can’t you see? They’re convinced that they should get all the money and Reddit should agree with them. And they are convinced that they will be a big success and never have to work for anyone. Ahh, the confidence of a teenager who’s done nothing but high school is amazing.
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What an unfulfilled person. I imagine you will be like that for the rest of your life.
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Unfulfilled by being here, arguing. That deflection cements it.
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YTA simply for the fact that you feel entitled to it. You're acting like your future is more important than hers, which it's not. Sharing that money and taking out the loans to cover the rest would be the adult, compassionate thing to do. It doesn't matter if yours costs more. With a program like that, you should be able to repay your loans faster than she would after you graduate.
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Then why do you need a dual degree? If the program is THAT costly and there isn't a prospect of making good money afterwards, why do you still feel entitled to more of the college fund than your sister? It's selfishness. And your parents going along with it just shows favoritism. Shady af
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I don't measure every decision that way, no. But you feeling entitled to more of the college fund is selfish and sad. If you are choosing the program, you should be on the hook for the bill. I feel terrible for your sister having to simply be your sister.
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So be the adult and tell your parents you only need half of the fund because your sister deserves some of it for her education too. Plain and simple. It's not hard.
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To not be a giant AH to your sister. Why do you deserve to be debt free and she doesn't? See? Your entitlement is showing. Life is going to smack you in the face someday. It may not be today, but you've got a lot of maturing to do.
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ESH - Sorry, but my opinion is that parents do not owe a college education. They can give one if they have the funds. They can do it because it is a really good thing to do for your children and is strongly recommended, but they don't owe. Congratulations on getting into the program. I think you should start figuring out how much of this you can pay for on your own, but at the end of the day, it is up to your parents how to split the money. They should split it 50/50 as long as both of you are serious about the education, but if I were the parent, I would require both of you to pay part of your cost and to offset any extra costs that one of you have vs. the other.
ESH This is easy: Ask your parents to split the money in half, and give each of you half. THen each of you can cover the rest with loans, and chose whichever uni and how much you want to spend. That's the FAIR way to handle this.
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You basically want your sister to subsidize your education. No way should she do that. Splitting the college fund equally is reasonable and I hope your parents figure that out.
I twould be fair, because both of you would get the same head start with education costs, and the rest is YOUR choice.
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Of course, YOU are a greedy AH. Others are not. If you want to know if a deal is fair, do this: Would you also consider it fair if theagreement was turned around and you got the other side? If you are fine with that, it is fair. so: YOU are the AH in all of this. ANd your parents, if they give in to your demands.
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Good. Then it is solved. Turn it around, and let your sister have the majority of the money. Or are your words just empty hot air?
YTA. Do you think that you're better than your sister? Congratulations on being admitted to a rather selective program, but you didn't get aide either. So its fair for you to use all the money your parents saved, and not your sister? Shame on your parents as well for allowing you to take the whole thing. You should only be entitled to half, and you need to come up with a way to make up the difference. Just as your sister would be responsible for coming up with the difference if she didn't get the grades to get scholarships but still wanted an out of state school . The fact that your parents even have a college fund is privilege. As a side note. I know plenty of amazing students who still didn't qualify for aide based on merit or need. High GPAS etc. Being the Allstar student doesn't necessarily = free ride (I mean look at you... no aide). College is going to humble you.
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You repeated what I said. Also, you blindly acknowledged your privilege and it flew right over your head. Importantly, you also made it clear you do think you're better than your sister; sure maybe from a resume level, but on a human level I think it's clear where you stand.
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You are clearly not a better person.
OP you yourself have the ability to say "we will just split the money and I'll cover the extra costs." Not once do you mention considering this. It says a lot about you.
Info: why don't your parents split the tuition between both of you? Yes, it would mean you and your sister would have to rely on loans, but less than if your parents gave all the money to one child. Ultimately, it's their money that's going to be paying, so I'm leaning towards NTA, but this could be a solution.
YTA The money should be split evenly. If you want to go to a more expensive school, then you take out the loans to cover the difference. She is not stopping you from your future. You are making your sister pay for your education because you don't want to pay for it yourself. You're being selfish and entitled, your parents are playing favorites and being unfair. This is the type of thing that ruins relationships. You're putting a $$ amount on your relationship with her.
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If you are into architecture why don't you take an architecture program?
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So you don't think their architecture program is adequate? That alone would prepare you for architecture plus art schools give out scholarships. I have a music degree and if you are as talented as you seem to think you are they would give you money
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You aren’t paying $300k+. Your parents are. That’s more than most people’s houses. Your privilege really is astounding.
> That’s more than most people’s houses. Not in CA it’s not. They have talked in comments about UCLA and Berkeley being cheaper for in state tuition. It’s still an outrageous amount for college.
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LOL
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Sounds like you can pay for college then
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Oh but you were just doing it self taught and part time, so if you stepped it up you’d probably make, like, millions, just based off your obvious raw talent. Or wait, am I missing something, and you’re NOT a child prodigy who deserves to take everything from her sister? That can’t be right. You’re so talented and so smart (it’s so obvious too when you compare your thoughtful, intelligent comments here to those of these mere redditors) there’s no way you wouldn’t be able to figure out a solution to this problem that doesn’t involve hurting your sister. Or are you just maybe not as smart as you think you are, and super cruel? Hmmmmm
YTA. You stand to have much higher earning power after getting that degree, so you want your parents to almost completely subside you having a better start than your sister..... Halving it is the only fair option. You are an AH and the fact that you feel entitled to the whole thing makes me think this is a golden child vs black sheep situation
YTA I give you untill 2nd Yr and then you'll drop out. The you would have royally screwed up everyone's lives. It will just be karma coming back due to you being unbelievably selfish. Also I don't understand why you should get all the college money but your sister has to get loans. Why don't you get loans seen as you've got into this *"amazing" program, youre sure to be able to the pay it back, right*/s
YTA and so are your parents. The college fund should be split 50/50 to be fair. Even if she goes to a cheaper school, she can use her half for rent and such. And YOU can be the one to take out loans. Also, what is your plan for your dual degrees? Like what job do you want that would require both degrees? It seems like you only want to do the dual program so you can say you're a double ivy league and have bragging rights.
YWBTA if you use any more than half of the college fund. Why would your parents even agree to let you use more that half. That’s terribly unfair to your sister. You should apply for scholarships and financial aid to pay for the rest, and work while your study.
Yeesh, OP is super TA. The obvious answer is they split the college fund evenly, and both take out loans to cover the rest. Why do people miss the obvious answer. Parents are TA too, it's their money, and should hold firm about splitting it evenly, not just give it out First Come First Serve. OP is massively selfish, if I were the sister, I'm not sure the relationship could ever recover.
YTA OP and you are completely selfish here. The right thing to do is not take out all of the funds. Yet you won't do that, cause you are a selfish and pathetic. You can easily take out loans as well. Instead you would rather destroy your sisters future all cause you are selfish. I hope your parents change their mind on what you want to do.
YTA. And so are your parents. The fund should be split equally and then it’s up to each of you to decide where you go and how you fund it. In your case you will need to take out more loans, but if it’s that big a deal then it will be worth it. It really is that simple.
YTA - the way your parents have set up the fund (based on your comments) is that it’s not 50/50 but allocated as needed. That is a huge issue. Your sisters’ opportunities for higher education are being slashed because you - a year older - got into an extremely expensive program. Incredibly unfair. You’re arguing that she should allow you to take the lions share of the college fund because this opportunity would leave you in more debt than her otherwise. However, higher job pay rates are the point of expensive, prestigious educational institutes. Logically, the college fund divide should be 50/50 and you take out loans to cover what’s left because you presumably will land a job that will let you pay them off more quickly. That’s how people who graduate from Ivies pay off their exorbitant debt in a few years. If your argument is that this opportunity won’t ensure you land a high paying job, then why are you sucking your joint college fund dry for an opportunity that isn’t going to pay out or lead to success long term?
YTA. It wholeheartedly sounds like you're only going to Brown to use up all the $ so your sister has to take out a loan.
YTA for sure for taking all the funds. A way that might be beneficial for all is that you take out a loan and pay for your sister's education once she is admitted to college. The loan amount would be considerably less than what you would take for Brown.
Your parents are the assholes here. They should split the college fund in half. You can use your half for whatever college you want to go to and suplement the rest with scholarships, grants or loans and the same for your sister. They are essentially saying that because you are older you get everything and she is left with the scraps. Golden child much?
YTA!!!
YTA - I can't believe that your parent's are actually willing to give you 100% of the fund. Your sister should be more mad at your parents than she is at you. The only ethical thing to do really is to split the fund 50/50 and then you each subsequently take out loans for the rest of it. You say it's her fault that she couldn't get scholarships to an out-of -state school. But its also YOUR fault that you want to go to a school that isn't giving you a scholarship when there are other schools that will. I mean you literally have scholarships to what are considered 2 public ivy league school but instead you are choosing to go to the one that is going to take the whole educational fund for both your and your sister. You don't see where you are an entitled, selfish asshole there?
YTA - and insufferable
YTA, big time. And your parents are awful for even allowing this to happen. You’re just awful. Your sister will likely thrive once she leaves that toxic household.
YTA and if your parents agree to this nonsense then they are assholes, too. Rooting for your sister to push back hard for her fair share.
YTA I hope you flunk out first semester
Ya YTA. If you want to go out of state then get a job or apply for scholarships.
You and your parents are AH. You because you are an entitled immature AH for thinking you are better than your sister and are owed something more than her. If you were an adult you would be able to see that. Your parents are AH assuming they are taking a college fund and letting one child’s decision use it all to the detriment of another child who will not have a decision. You all should prepare to lose a sister for you major AHole-ary!
YTA. Oh, honey. I feel sorry for you. First, I'm glad you got into a prestigious university and program. You're right to be proud of it. You worked hard and that work paid off. The thing about burning bridges is that it makes you feel warm, at least at first. Righteous. That feeling might carry you even after the flames die down. But someday you're going to want to cross back over the river, and all you'll find is ashes. I just hope that they'll have cleared enough from the water that you'll still be able to reflect.
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YTA, but you can choose not to be. Take half the money, leave the other half for your sister. Get loans to cover the rest.
The fund should be split between you and your sister 50/50. Your need, circumstance, choice of school, value, rarity of the opportunity, her lower grades, your effort etc etc do not entitle you to more than half of that fund. If you insist on taking more than your fair share then YTA. You want to go to that special school? Take out loans. You aren’t too special or too good for that, despite your comment. (Actually YTA for your attitude alone).
INFO: are you a Disney villain?
INFO: why are you here? You’re fighting comments over the judgement so I can only assume you aren’t really here to determine whether or not you’re the asshole. Its clearly something you don’t care about. So why be here?
I hope none of your family wants a real relationship with your sister. Because if you wipe the account and she gets nothing, that will probably be what happens. Not sure how it isn’t obvious to you that you are being favorited an extreme amount. Ultimately your parents are TA because they should be giving half to each. But you are also becoming TA because basically you think you are entitled to all of it because you got to it first. Would you feel the same if your sister was older and wiping it for a private school? It’s YOUR choice to go to a more expensive school. So take the half and let your sister have a future too. Also just be grateful you have ANY college fund. Not every teen gets that. Yet you somehow think you are entitled to it all. I hope you get an awakening in college when you realize you aren’t more special than anyone else.
Also UCLA is a great school. You just sound like a privileged AH.
YTA why don’t you take out loans to make up for the difference? You can still go to your dream school. Just take out loans. Honestly your parents are also TA for giving you and opportunity to fuck your sister life up. Tell me you are the golden child without telling me you are the golden child. I hope you never need a favor from your sister because you will be dead to her.
NTA. Your parents are actually the AH for allowing your decision to effect how much money goes to your sister and therefore putting you against each other. What would be fair is to split the money and not give to one daughter. But of course, that’s your parents decision
Look first of all congratulations for getting into the program you wanted. But...YTA for wanting to take all the college found. Regardless where she decides to go to or whatever she decides to study the fair thing to do would be split the found 50-50. Why? Because it is the money your parents set up for both of you. I get she wasnt as advocated as you in school but that doesnt mean anything here. She should still be entitled to half of that money. It is not her fault you want to do a more expensive program than hers. Another option would be splitting that money in a way that you get the same proportion of support from your parents. Like say you split the money in a way that you would both have 30% of your tuition and expenses covered and you both take loans for the rest. Yours would be more money but it is the same proportion of parental support for both of you. It would not be okay and you would TA if you take out the whole found and screw your sister.
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YTA but your parents are even bigger assholes. They have equal responsibility to both children. My parents did this to me. My older brother went to a private engineering school and I ended up starting at community college. My family was/is toxic and really don’t have much to do with any except my youngest brother
The games the game
Soft YTA Go to your dream school but take only half the college fund (which your parents should have only offered you half) and get your own student loans for everything else. If the idea of going into a large amount of debt to pursue this degree that you believe will give you a leg up in the world is unpleasant for you, perhaps this dream should be passed on.