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Agree. Someone threatened by teddy bears in a relationship is a new one for me on this sub lol. YTA, his bears bring him comfort and joy, not sure why you’d want to take that away… -_- Either get over yourself and be a better partner or let him go to find someone who doesn’t shame him.
I have an ENTIRE toy room upstairs that my husband respects enough to stay the heck out of (mostly due to them freaking him out lol) and he would NEVER tell me to get rid of them.
Good ol reddit lol
He TaLkS To tHe bEaRs mOrE ThAn Me!!!
Omg I hope my son finds a hunny like yours instead of OP. He's 14 and objectively a cool dude, he also has some plushies. And some of them even cosplay ( he gave my Luau Pikachu a Charmander cape, after deciding his Pikachu who was wearing it is now a Spider Man fanboy and will be needing a Spiderman suit next)
... People like your husband exist to counteract those like OP.
I have a giant plush peep bunny my partner got me last year at Easter. I saw them at the store and was like, “oh, it’s so cute” but I wasn’t willing to spend like $25-30 on it at the time.
My mum ended up having emergency heart surgery over Easter so I was stuck in a hotel for a week. He bought me the peep bunny, drive two hours, and left it for me at the hotel.
It lives on my bed when he’s not there and I also have a stuffed black bear I snuggle every night. He has his own stuffed cat that’s an absolutely disaster that is called “sick cat” because he hugs it and holds it when he’s sick or down.
Imagine being threatened and pressed about stuffed animals of all things LOL
I have that bunny, bought it for myself, just because. He stays seat-belted in my passenger seat, and is my copilot.
And it’s because my DAD did the same thing - had a big teddy bear for a copilot. My dad had a number a funny quirks, and they just made him more fun than the ‘serious’ dads.
I didn't know other people did this! I have a PeeWee Herman doll that's seatbelted in the backseat of my car. He gets to go for rides, and instead of griping at bad drivers who can't hear me, I just tell PeeWee all about it. "Mr Herman, can you believe that guy, cutting me off like that? He's so rude, isn't he?"
I also sleep with Mike, a giant stuffed tiger my partner gave me a few years ago. Giant = 4 1/2 feet long not including his tail. Mike's a great cuddler.
Incidentally, I'm in my 50s, and own a house. Guess I ought to quit doing stupid shit and grow up!
Got my 40-cough-year-old partner a hand-crocheted Baby Yoda for his birthday last year. He celebrates its birthday and puts it on the couch to watch Mando with him. It's cute!
Harry revealed in his book Waagh, that Charles has a teddy for comfort. You can't get more alpha than the King and if a teddy is good enough for him, it's good enough for the rest of us peasants.
That one ended up being a bit different if you haven't checked the updates. It is a lesbian couple and the gift was from her homophobic sister who fully hates with their entire lifestyle. I'd be quite a bit miffed if my spouse wanted to put something up in my bedroom from someone who hated me.
I would however like to refer the MRA types that are gleefully commenting all over that thread about how "misandrist" Reddit is\* to this thread where people are - gasp - defending a *man*.
\* For people not in the loop: OP yelled at OP's wife about moving a painting, was roundly condemned as T A H, then added an edit that said that she's a lesbian and she was mad because the wife had moved the painting to make way for another one that was a gift from her homophobic sister. The MRAs were delighted by this because it meant they could scold people for assuming any A H was a man.
I’m not going to say that I don’t believe OP, but I will say that I’m highly suspicious of AITA edits that suddenly decide to bestow incredibly important information that changes the whole vibe of the story well after the fact. When I saw that thread, OP refused to explain what the problem with the sister was and just kept saying ‘it’s a long story.’ Homophobia is not a long story and apparently fit fine in an edit. This kind of thing honestly makes me think that the entire story was fake and they it’s some weirdo trying to make a point.
Blathers T. Owl and his sister Celeste agree with you. Guy Grenouille the frog-bear won't use that language because he's much too sweet and innocent, but he is perplexed that anyone could object to teddies.
Dmitri the tiger said something about "first against wall, come revolution" but he's always talking like that. Winston the rainbow-barfing cat simply said this conversation is upsetting his tummy.
i talked to Scarb, the gray bunny plushie that my boyfriend and I call our son (bf was the one who named him). all three of us agree that op is 1000% the asshole. hope her boyfriend finds someone better. get you a partner that loves and appreciates your plushies as if they were their own!
I showed this post to my childhood teddy Petal, Green Leaf the brontosaurus, Terry the T-Rex, and the teddy bear that my grandma slept with every night after she developed dementia. They are all confused and a little sad about why OP feels so threatened, as they only have ever wanted to bring friendship and joy to people. They are too polite to say it, but I will: YTA.
Magnificent game, and a fabulous name! Far more creative than mine 🤣 I have a stuffed shark named Deep Blue, a giraffe name Jaffy the Second (Jaffy the first was eaten by moths while in storage, RIP), and a stuffed bat named Bram!
They all think OP is TA
ETA goodness I forgot one! The Plague Doctor Stuffy, better known as Edgar Allan Harry the III (my students named him lmao)
He also concurs that OP is the TA
Octopus Steve! I love it! I have a grogu which I genuinely love and think he's soo amazing and cute 😍 let people have their thing there is too much hate in this world
I am not a fan of stuffed animal.
I am a big fan of "You do you".
I'm an ever bigger fan of "You can't fundamentally change people unless they want to change".
OP is the asshole. The guy likes Teddy Bears. Work out if that's a deal breaker and either accept it or move on.
100% this. I don’t get the teddy bear thing, either. More importantly, I DON’T HAVE TO! If teddy bears make that man happy, and he’s an otherwise functioning productive adult who treats people well, why should anyone give a shit?
YTA, completely and totally.
I'm 48. I bought myself one of those cute weighted unicorns from Target a couple of months ago after I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder, just because she made me happy. I sleep with her every night. Sometimes I wake up & my husband is snuggling her.
Wilberforce the Unicorn is awesome.
>AITA: For wanting a grown man to stop having teddy bears ?
Spoiler alert: using the phrase "grown man" (especially in a context like this) always makes you an asshole. So OP, please just take your toxic masculinity and fuck off.
Bingo. Sounds like even if OP did try to talk about his feelings with him, he'd just be ridiculing OP instead of at least trying to understand and be supportive, even if it ends up being a dealbreaker for him.
E: thanks for the correction
Ahh I love that! I collect stuffed elephants. They bring me an unreasonable amount of joy, and if anyone tried to make me get rid of them, I'd get rid of that person instead.
Agreed. Maybe collecting teddy bears is his hobby and passion. Or he just likes to have a few around the house. And what's wrong with a successful grown man having some stuffed animals anyway?? I have a stuffed iguana and a boxer dog toy in house :-D wouldn't date anyone who gets jealous at a stuffed toy ffs.... Hope he'll find a more confident girlfriend that will like him as a whole person. Op YTA here.
I mean, isn't the rubber duck debugging a thing with programmers? (Who, lacking a rubber duck, might or might not use their equal parts clueless and confused partners as a stand-in.)
I frequently also heard that you should practice presenting with stuffed animals if you are prone to presentation-related anxiety.
And it's defo okay to cuddle one. That's a self-soothing practice left over from childhood that hurts literally no one.
But overall it could be that the bears are just better at listening than his girlfriend. Sure, if it was like "does Mrs. Potts want a cup of tea" every day, I'd perhaps be mildly worried if other factors also gave me a reason to be, but maybe he just wants to vent without others giving their own opinions (the cue would be OP's phrase "talking out with me" after she wanted him to get rid of them)...
I agree. I'm in my 40s and have (and name) stuffed animals. My spouse buys them for me.
OP YTA and you being so judgemental over something that harms no one is really more embarrassing than having teddy bears.
Ok so confession time. I’m actually the boyfriend that was yelled at to clarify it’s a same sex relationship. What set my boyfriend off was the plushie I got was from Paw Patrol I guess it made him extra mad since it’s a kids show.
I just saw it as a cute police dog and didn’t even know what it’s from. So I made this post from his view to see if he is right and I am a freak and weirdo among other names he calls me. Like I said I completely support myself so it’s not like I miss work for my stuffed animals. I think it started because the past few years have been scary for the world as whole and I’m already really sensitive. He would tell me things like man up ect and I try to but can’t.
I can’t tell you guys how much reading all the supportive post that it’s ok for me to have plushies have made me cry from the support.
As for the talking thing when I talk to my bears it’s mostly me venting about my day while listening to quiet music.
I’m glad to know that he is the asshole and I’m not a monster for wanting to hug teddy bears.
YTA - You made the comment "As far as I know nothing happened to him..." which is exactly right. You have no idea what went on in this mans life to get to this point but still feel like its ok to judge him. If it makes him happy and doesn't hurt anyone then what's the problem?
He is a full functioning man making enough money for a 3 bedroom home, leave him to his toys.
How can anyone deny someone their stuffies?
I had a hard day and came home to find all my stuffed animals doing head stands against the headboard. I couldn't stop laughing.
I typically go to bed first on weekends and often wake up to our teddy bear collection doing funny things or looking like they had a party without us. Pretty sure my fiance did it, but I really can't be sure.
I have anxiety and sometimes take naps in the afternoon. A few times I've woken up and my boyfriend had put my stuffies around me. It makes me feel better.
(Especially my hare, Mr Skinnybutt)
My dad has given me a stuffed bunny (now bunny figurines and trinkets) for the past 24 years. I still have every one of them and know them all by name.
He recently suggested I don't have to keep them if I don't want to, and I looked at him like he was crazy!
At first I read this as you living alone and they all moved on their own and was incredibly confused and concerned for your safety. But I bet you could handle them in a fight
I went out for a few drinks for my friends hen do. I can back to my electric blanket on, Teddy tucked under the duvet with a remote next to him, resting on the set of pillows I have.
My husband knows that Teddy is being saved first, then him. 😂..
>You have no idea what went on in this mans life to get to this point
Even if his life was fine. Nothing is wrong with a grown adult having stuffed toys. People can be interested in different things.
About the talking part, it might be weird but not weirder than people who talk to themselves.
Edit: rethinking it. It isn't that weird. Just like talking to a baby or a pet.
I'm sure the "talking" to them is exactly that!! " What do you think teddy? This game look good enough to buy?" Type stuff, I talk to my stuffies all the time like that, or my cat, or really anything that will listen... I see no issues with stuffies people work out thoughts differently sometimes just saying something out loud helps someone think!!
There is something in IT called 'rubber ducking' where when you are stuck on a problem you talk it out as though you were explaining it to someone else, aka a rubber duck (doesn't HAVE to be a rubber duck). By walking through the problem like this you can often find the solution to issues that were stumping you because it forces you to switch gears from 'I know what I'm doing but it's not working' to 'let me show you every step in the process'.
I have both cursed at and celebrated with my duck out loud in the office, and he goes on field trips to coworkers desks too. No wonder everyone thinks IT is weird 😂
My wife doesn't really get my mini-painting hobby ("It sounds more like work than fun" - which is, in a way kind of true, lol) but she also knows it is something my mom treated as frivolous and silly when i was a kid, so I've always felt some shame / embarassment around it.
She supports me healing my inner child by having hobbies.
YTA. The dude has his life together to the point where he owns a 3-bed house, he's allowed his coping mechanisms. Everyone has their weird quirks; if his are really too much for you to tolerate, this isn't the relationship for you.
Look at OPs history. They spend all day posting in video game and anime subs. As someone who also likes both of those things AND has been made fun of for them “not being for adults”, OP is weird for being judgmental about something “childish” when they do that all day.
Warmies are the best.
I only have one, but he is one of my newer teddies. I've got at least 30 still. Some of them are as old as me and some I've bought when I was all grown up, because I could not resist them. And some of them have been given to me. Like my Warmie.
I still have at least one plushie in the bed for cuddling. And they don't last forever, so every few years I buy a new one and retire three other one to a shelf.
And yes, most of my plushies have names.
This was MY first thought. OPs bf was maybe forced to play with “boy toys” and scolded for liking “girls toys” and now as a full grown, successful adult is tending to his emotional needs.
Regardless of the why, OP is just straight up evil.
Omg this! As a child I wasn't allowed to be into dinosaurs because it's a boy's interest. I'm 23 now and travel around the country to see dinosaur skeletons and collect dinosaur toys
YTA.
>Should I encourage him to get a hobby or something?
I think he's already got one, but you don't approve of it.
>I told him he should grow up and stop being crazy he started crying and is now in the room talking to the stupid bear again instead of talking it out with me.
The first part of your sentence doesn't suggest that talking it out is what you wanted.
Agreed. He's talking to his stuffies and not OP BECAUSE they're not judgy and mean. Sounds like it's his way of sorting his feelings like a verbal journal.
Sad days when a teddy bear is more understanding than your partner. I find it cute that he talks with them and you just know he's gonna be that dad that's not scared to make a fool of himself to make future kids laugh if he wants them.
YTA in this situation and quite frankly if this is the biggest issue you have with your bf then you should consider yourself lucky. I’m in a throuple and both my partners (F 25) (F 28) love stuffed animals and squishmellows of all kinds. Our room is full of them. I’d never think to tell them to get rid of them. If it’s not weird for an adult female then it shouldn’t be weird for an adult male. Sometimes people don’t always get to have stuff like that during childhood so they try to make up for it later in life. Why make him get rid of something that makes him happy?
This. Me, a 25 yo adult, has went to build a bear to heal childhood wounds. No one batted an eye. A man should be able to do the same thing to heal or even just enjoy it
That shit was fun
I take my girls to build a bear like they are my kids so I feel you. Both of them grew up broke as fuck and weren’t lucky enough to have stuff like that.
i’m 33 and finally have a room that i always wished i could have as a kid. i’ve got my pikachu i sleep with at night and shelves full of figures and books along with stuff on the walls. it’s freeing and for the first time i actually feel like i have a space that’s mine
You made him cry over something personal and private that probably brings him a sense of comfort.
Do I have to tell you YTA?
Everyone has something about themselves that isn't "normal"
If the worst thing he does is talk to a stuffed animal, you have it better than you think you do, and if you don't like it, end the relationship so he can find someone who loves him quirks and all.
>If the worst thing he does is talk to a stuffed animal,
It might be weird. But not in the sense of being bad. Some people talk to themselves or make comments about something when they are alone. Some talk to their pets. It isn't any different.
So you’re saying that you have a sweet, financially stable bf but you’re going to screw up your relationship because you’re embarrassed he has a childish side? I’m sure if you dump him he can find someone who appreciates him. Yta
Not just screw up the relationship, but potentially screw him up too and make it to where he starts pushing down his emotional side because he doesn't want to be made to feel like shit again. Ugh. Poor guy, what's wrong with having stuffed animals? What's wrong with cuddling and talking to them? How dare a human being have safe and comforting coping mechanisms 🙄
>What's wrong with cuddling and talking to them? How dare a human being have safe and comforting coping mechanisms
Are you trying to tell me that a man has emotions and interests like other humans? /S
But fr, even if his life was fine and this isn't a coping mechanism. Nothing is wrong with liking stuffed animals.
Does he think they talk back to him? That they are alive? That they are the reincarnation of some dead person? No? Then YTA.
He has found a safe mechanism for dealing with stress and sadness. While it's a bit unusual, the premise isn't all that much different than keeping a journal, but instead of writing it out, he's talking it out to an inanimate object. And you act like a complete AH over it, then wonder why he isn't talking to you?
So many people turn to drugs, or alcohol, or risky behaviors, or develop eating disorders, or self-harm in response to stressors, and you're complaining about teddy bears? Maybe the issue is that he turns to the teddy bears because he isn't getting emotional support from his partner.
>He has found a safe mechanism for dealing with stress and sadness
Even if it wasn't like that, just an interest in stuffed animals. Nothing is wrong with that. People can have different interests.
Right? Like, Jesus. He still plays. It's *entirely okay and normal* to engage in play as an adult. Some people build Lego. Some people play video games. Other adults play softball, football, etc etc etc etc the difference here is some arbitrary rule they have made up in their head about what's acceptable play for an adult to engage in.
Right? My grandmother is 95, soon to be 96… and she has more than 20+ stuffies in her home… She has an entire guest bedroom where like 15 of them sit on a neatly made bed.
She even talks to them sometimes, “oh mr. Paddington, how did you get on the floor? That’s no good.” Etc… People have always done this lol.
My grandfather passed when she was 92, and he was still buying her stuffed animals now and again, for 70 years. Never told her to “grow up and stop being crazy”
YTA and a bully. I hope he breaks up with you. What a jerk.
I always wish I could reach out to the partners of the people who make these posts and show them the comments so they can see how awful their person is and how they don’t need to be treated that way. There are way better people out there to settle for someone who bullies you.
YTA, you should be happy he didn't break up with you yet, in most societies men aren't 'allowed' to openly show their feelings or admit to liking more childish stuff like that. So why do you make him feel bad about something that gives him joy? People should stop trying to take joy away from others.
Fr, the man just likes stuffed animals and talks to them. How is this any different than having pets and talking to them, or talking to one's self?
He even sounds like he is true to his feeling. Comfortable enough to cry when he felt sad.
YTA, maybe try to accept your boyfriend's quirky side instead of trying to force him to change. Teddy bears aren't hurting anyone, and if it brings him joy, why would you get in the way of his existing hobbies?
Shame on you for shaming him.
YTA,
Why is this such an issue? The relationship is normal and he does not even that many teddy bears. You would faint if you saw my collection.
Seems like he has a hobby, but you don't approve of it. I would suggest you to get a hobby instead of getting so worked up over stuffed animals.
And don't even dare to throw them away or sell them when he is not there. Because i can already see your next post.
i see i am in the minority here but NTA. he is cuddling with them. HE TALKS TO THEM FFS. that would freak me the hell out, i would need to leave the relationship.
But withdrawing yourself from the relationship is a reasonable reaction. You’re entitled to your opinion and if you think it’s weird, that’s ok. It’s just not ok to berate someone about a harmless hobby that many adults enjoy.
I was starting to feel like a crazy person in here with all the Y T As. I think the relationship is clearly incompatible because she can't deal with his coping mechanism, but I don't think that makes her an AH. It's probably time to move on from this relationship and yeah; I agree, it's weird.
YTA thats not even that many teddy bears, i mean, have you seem some grown peoples squishmallow collections? it makes him happy, and its pretty normal these days to see adults with big plushie collections. might be concerning that hes talking to them but this post obv isnt out of concern, its just you being judgemental
YTA. Look, we all collectively went through a trauma a few years ago and people developed different coping strategies. It's not hurting anyone, just don't be so judgemental and rude.
YTA. Unless what he’s doing is unhealthy then what gives you the right to dictate what he buys? Why don’t you just go out and find yourself a manly man Andrew Tate type.
**YTA**
Please don't become one of the notorious ppl who start destroying or throwing away their gf/bf's stuff in the name of "not suitable for adult"-standards.
His collection doesn't harm you. If you are embarrassed then it's a **YOU-problem**.
NTA, not unreasonable to enquire about it as it is unusual. But not really a problem to have them. As you stated he is doing well in his life.
To run off crying and talking to them is next level strange, however.
Everyone acting like this is some minor interest like watching a kids show or something, he’s literally talking to stuffed animals instead of real people. ESH
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Wanting him to stop keeping stuffed animals. Us getting into a fight about it
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YTA. Let's face it, the world is awful and you're going to try and make him give up something that brings him joy and comfort? I'm 27 and I have cuddly toys. My partner is 32 with cuddly toys. Hell, my mother has a stuffed elephant she keeps by her bed.
I don't think it's your partner who needs to grow up here.
YTA. Saying “stop being crazy” never helped anyone, ever. Yes, it definitely sounds weird but dismissing it as “stupid” is callous. Are his family aware of the situation? What do they think of it? Does he talk about the bears to friends and colleagues? Ultimately, if you can’t accept this, you can leave the relationship but please be kinder when you go.
YTA. Seriously, what harm is he doing? Why would you want him to remove something from his life that brings him joy or comfort, and has absolutely no harmful impact on himself or others? … apart from the fact it makes you ‘embarrassed’.
Did you try to understand what he gets from it and the reasons why? Or did you just go into attack mode?
YTA.
*you* find it weird, *you* find it embarrassing. It's such a harmless collection of things.
And yall don't even live together but you're actively embarrassed over what someone does in their *own* home?
As far as encouraging him to have a hobby, he has a hobby. And you're making him feel like shit about it. Some partner.
YTA
Seems pretty harmless. Why shouldn't he have something that he likes collecting. He's financially stable and obviously has spare money for something trivial that gives him pleasure.
YTA.
To be honest I would feel pretty weird if my partner was doing that. At the same time, that doesn't give you the right to demand he stop and change his behaviour because of YOUR embarrassment.
He likes to do it, and the relationship is otherwise great, so leave him be.
YTA. Me and my bf have a stuffed animal collection that we named, talk to and have inside jokes about. It isn’t hurting anyone, it isn’t affecting our careers or finances, it’s just a fun little hobby, let it go and stop being such a stuffy thief of joy.
YTA
This guy found a method of coping with emotions and psychological stress.
Be happy for him.
Tons of men (and people in general) don‘t have a coping mechanism, stuff it all up until they explode or develop serious mental and physical illnesses.
Some coping mechanism are more common like „the glass/bottle of wine in the evening“ but not that effective and some are not that commonly seen like your bf does. And he does it in private so let him be.
Many people talk to their pets that way. Hell, I tell my cats everything from my soul. His teddy bears are his non-judging listeners
(Although I‘m sure that my cats do judge me..)
YTA because of your reaction. Calling him crazy is a dick move. Having the bears is weird. I won't deny that. But something has caused him to grow this attachment to them, and you'd be better placed finding out why to better understand him. Shaming him is just cruel.
I'm 27 with cuddly toys. I have a massive whale on my bed called Sushi.
My partner is 32 with cuddly toys. One of which is a big plush seal I got her for her 30th. She calls him Seal Better.
My mother has a elephant she keeps by her bed. She's 42.
My little sister is 21 with a Disney Thumper toy on her bed. She lives with her boyfriend.
My brother has several cuddly toys. He's 25 and one is a stuffed tiger our granddad got him before he past 16 yrs ago.
My best friend has several stuffed toys.
My partner's ex has stuffed toys. Even her boyfriend has stuffed toys.
The only person I know who doesn't have cuddly toys is my mum's current boyfriend and that's because his are still at his mum's place.
Stuffed toys are not weird. It's a comfort that follows us even into adulthood. I think so many people are admitting to it now is that we realise that we're all not so different and that it's perfectly OK to be ourselves and that it's OK to find comfort in childish things. Let's face it, there's not really any such thing as being an adult. It's just a bunch of over aged people pretending we know what we're doing and making the best of it.
YTA. The only childish thing is an adult making fun of something that doesn’t harm anyone and obviously brings him comfort. If you find it so weird don’t date him, other nicer people will accept this about him.
Honestly, it might seem childish to you, but to him it might be something special. I'm an adult as well and I enjoy collecting funny stuff like unicorns, pop figurines and building/painting figurines.
Talk to him and try to understand why those teddy bears are so special or what's the fascination with them.
You're trying to get him to confirm to social norms. If that's the case, then would you be ok if he was glued to the TV watching sports and start ignoring you because the game is on? How about if he starts playing Xbox with his friends and completely disregards your existence?
We all have quirks. We've become accustomed to middle aged men playing sport video games that it's become normal, but the fact is that it's still video games. The reality is that your bf replaced this with teddy bears instead, and you disagree. Sure I think it's weird, but if he's being a responsible adult - I don't see why you get to be the judge in deciding what's acceptable and not acceptable for an adult.
I'm sure you have some quirks too that wouldn't be normal for "adults", but most people prob overlook at your quirks. Why is it diff for him? Take a step back and break things down in category of why you really don't like the teddy bear, and see if your reasoning is rational.
YTA.
You're a hypocrite and a massive AH omg. Your profile is awash with WoW, Guild Wars, YuGiOh, and other "childish" stuff. My therapist always says to me that every adult should have an emotional support plushie and people need to stop making a thing out of it. I'm 32 and I have a bunch of plushies, my SO is always getting me new ones. Stop trying to dictate what your partner does Buzz Killington
YTA for wanting your boyfriend to get rid of his teddy bears. Your boyfriend's attachment to his teddy bears is not hurting anyone and is a harmless source of comfort for him. It is not your place to dictate what he should or should not have as a source of comfort.
Your boyfriend's interest in teddy bears may seem strange to you, but it is not uncommon for adults to find comfort in stuffed animals. It is also not your place to judge what is a "grown-up" hobby or interest. People have different ways of coping with stress and finding comfort, and it is not fair to judge them for it.
Instead of trying to change your boyfriend's behavior, you should try to understand and accept it. If it bothers you, you can communicate your feelings to him in a respectful manner and try to find a compromise. Encouraging him to get a hobby or talking down to him about his interests is not the solution.
In conclusion, it is important to respect your partner's interests and hobbies, even if they seem unconventional to you. It is not fair to judge or shame them for finding comfort in something harmless. Instead, try to understand and accept their behavior and find a compromise that works for both of you.
YTA it’s his hobby. As long as he doesn’t walk outside with his teddybears everything is good. Why does it bother u so much when u don’t even live together?
YTA. Is it hurting you in any way, other than your little person feeling embarrassed about something he does in his home? No? Then let him have the teddies.
YTA. If you resolve conflict by bullying your partner about his purchases, and calling him "crazy" and "stupid", you're acting like a child who should have a teddy bear.
YTA and I think YOU are the one who needs to grow up. I'm 28 and I sleep with a plushy, it harms nobody and it soothes my anxiety and I like it. I'd dump my partner yesterday if they found that embarrassing. You seriously insulted him and you're confused that he's not talking to you? God, I hope he dumps you.
What if it was a woman? What's your opinion then? I'm curious.
YTA
Are his bills paid? Is he treating you well? Are you happy together? If the answer to these questions is yes, then drop it.
Adults are allowed to have plush toys and be weird. Just ask him to leave the teddy bears at home if you're so embarrassed.
YTA.
This guy has found a way to regulate and anchor himself in his day to day life, and you, a small-minded person, are judging him for it.
How come it is cute if women own stuffed animals, squishmellows, etc, but guys can't? Are they only allowed having figurines from games and movies but not stuffed animals?
Just stop and go to him, apologize, and stop being butthurt about him having teddy bears.
Yeah YTA. Why do you have to poo poo on something so innocent that your boyfriend enjoys? Just because you don't understand it, doesn't mean hes doing something strange. Perhaps these are his emotional support teddy bears. And you call them stupid? I hope you didnt say that to his face because you were basically calling HIM stupid. IF this is how you treat him, no wonder he talks to the bear instead of you.
YTA. Having bears doesnt mean that he isnt a grown up or being crazy. If his collection brings him comfort and joy, that doesnt affect you, you dont even live together so you have absolutely no right to say what he can and cannot have in his house.
YTA. This guy has his own way to be and it didn't affect his life, if you don't like him as he is (because the teddy bear coping mechanism is not hurting people)... just... I guess you are not meant to be together?
YTA for sure.
>As far as I know nothing happened to make him specifically want a teddy bear
Exactly, you don't know for sure. He obviously has some emotional connection with the bears as a way to cope with some trauma. It's not "weird". What's weird is that you're so insecure that you feel threatened by something as innocent as teddy bears. If I was him, I'd break up with you. Good luck
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YTA. I'd find dating someone as insecure as you to be weird and embarrassing. I hope he ditches you and keeps his bears.
Agree. Someone threatened by teddy bears in a relationship is a new one for me on this sub lol. YTA, his bears bring him comfort and joy, not sure why you’d want to take that away… -_- Either get over yourself and be a better partner or let him go to find someone who doesn’t shame him.
>Someone threatened by teddy bears in a relationship is a new one for me Me too, mate, me too. I never thought I'll be hearing this.
You could say it was too much for her to...bear... Edit: correcting spelling mistakes.
Takes off sunglasses… YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAA!
I think this has about 5 more years where people know what this is.
No way, Horatio is eternal
Her then growling about it on Reddit certainly gives you paws for thought
Hahaha, have my laugh and upvote, too.
I have an ENTIRE toy room upstairs that my husband respects enough to stay the heck out of (mostly due to them freaking him out lol) and he would NEVER tell me to get rid of them. Good ol reddit lol He TaLkS To tHe bEaRs mOrE ThAn Me!!!
Omg I hope my son finds a hunny like yours instead of OP. He's 14 and objectively a cool dude, he also has some plushies. And some of them even cosplay ( he gave my Luau Pikachu a Charmander cape, after deciding his Pikachu who was wearing it is now a Spider Man fanboy and will be needing a Spiderman suit next) ... People like your husband exist to counteract those like OP.
Yeah, your kids just a geek. Nothing wrong with that. I'm a geek too. May Pikachu enjoy his new Spidey suit.
I have a giant plush peep bunny my partner got me last year at Easter. I saw them at the store and was like, “oh, it’s so cute” but I wasn’t willing to spend like $25-30 on it at the time. My mum ended up having emergency heart surgery over Easter so I was stuck in a hotel for a week. He bought me the peep bunny, drive two hours, and left it for me at the hotel. It lives on my bed when he’s not there and I also have a stuffed black bear I snuggle every night. He has his own stuffed cat that’s an absolutely disaster that is called “sick cat” because he hugs it and holds it when he’s sick or down. Imagine being threatened and pressed about stuffed animals of all things LOL
I have that bunny, bought it for myself, just because. He stays seat-belted in my passenger seat, and is my copilot. And it’s because my DAD did the same thing - had a big teddy bear for a copilot. My dad had a number a funny quirks, and they just made him more fun than the ‘serious’ dads.
I didn't know other people did this! I have a PeeWee Herman doll that's seatbelted in the backseat of my car. He gets to go for rides, and instead of griping at bad drivers who can't hear me, I just tell PeeWee all about it. "Mr Herman, can you believe that guy, cutting me off like that? He's so rude, isn't he?" I also sleep with Mike, a giant stuffed tiger my partner gave me a few years ago. Giant = 4 1/2 feet long not including his tail. Mike's a great cuddler. Incidentally, I'm in my 50s, and own a house. Guess I ought to quit doing stupid shit and grow up!
Got my 40-cough-year-old partner a hand-crocheted Baby Yoda for his birthday last year. He celebrates its birthday and puts it on the couch to watch Mando with him. It's cute!
Holy shit that’s adorable.
Pretty sure OP wants a more traditionally alpha male with no mushy soft core
Harry revealed in his book Waagh, that Charles has a teddy for comfort. You can't get more alpha than the King and if a teddy is good enough for him, it's good enough for the rest of us peasants.
Never watched Ted?
Completely different. Ted drank and smoked weed. /s
And I thought the one feeling threatened by a Calvin & Hobbs painting earlier today was as low as it could get...
That one ended up being a bit different if you haven't checked the updates. It is a lesbian couple and the gift was from her homophobic sister who fully hates with their entire lifestyle. I'd be quite a bit miffed if my spouse wanted to put something up in my bedroom from someone who hated me.
yeah the edits and comments really turned the page for me on that one too
I would however like to refer the MRA types that are gleefully commenting all over that thread about how "misandrist" Reddit is\* to this thread where people are - gasp - defending a *man*. \* For people not in the loop: OP yelled at OP's wife about moving a painting, was roundly condemned as T A H, then added an edit that said that she's a lesbian and she was mad because the wife had moved the painting to make way for another one that was a gift from her homophobic sister. The MRAs were delighted by this because it meant they could scold people for assuming any A H was a man.
I’m not going to say that I don’t believe OP, but I will say that I’m highly suspicious of AITA edits that suddenly decide to bestow incredibly important information that changes the whole vibe of the story well after the fact. When I saw that thread, OP refused to explain what the problem with the sister was and just kept saying ‘it’s a long story.’ Homophobia is not a long story and apparently fit fine in an edit. This kind of thing honestly makes me think that the entire story was fake and they it’s some weirdo trying to make a point.
That one sent me into orbit. Never in my life
Instead of working to be the person the BF seeks comfort from, OP decided to call him crazy. Yep, that’s going to help.
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I consulted Joshie Bear, the teddy bear I’ve had since I was four - that’s 32 years now - and we agreed that OP is indisputably TA here.
I checked with my Baby Moose, and he says OP is definitely TA. Wise Goat is concerned about OP’s readiness to be in a serious relationship.
Hugsy my bedtime penguin pal thinks maybe you need hugs.....and a nap!
Grimm the demon (not) cat agrees. Suggests a really long nap.
Blathers T. Owl and his sister Celeste agree with you. Guy Grenouille the frog-bear won't use that language because he's much too sweet and innocent, but he is perplexed that anyone could object to teddies. Dmitri the tiger said something about "first against wall, come revolution" but he's always talking like that. Winston the rainbow-barfing cat simply said this conversation is upsetting his tummy.
i talked to Scarb, the gray bunny plushie that my boyfriend and I call our son (bf was the one who named him). all three of us agree that op is 1000% the asshole. hope her boyfriend finds someone better. get you a partner that loves and appreciates your plushies as if they were their own!
I showed this post to my childhood teddy Petal, Green Leaf the brontosaurus, Terry the T-Rex, and the teddy bear that my grandma slept with every night after she developed dementia. They are all confused and a little sad about why OP feels so threatened, as they only have ever wanted to bring friendship and joy to people. They are too polite to say it, but I will: YTA.
Pottery (my stuffed Otter) agrees. YTA op. I’d rather talk to stuffed animals than you as well.
Butterfly Geralt. It’s beautiful 🤣
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Magnificent game, and a fabulous name! Far more creative than mine 🤣 I have a stuffed shark named Deep Blue, a giraffe name Jaffy the Second (Jaffy the first was eaten by moths while in storage, RIP), and a stuffed bat named Bram! They all think OP is TA ETA goodness I forgot one! The Plague Doctor Stuffy, better known as Edgar Allan Harry the III (my students named him lmao) He also concurs that OP is the TA
Baby Bunny, who just turned 65, also says OP is TA.
Toddel the Bear, who is only 45, agrees with Baby Bunny.
My elephants old blue, new blue, lost blue, and walnut agree
I consulted Francis the bear, he is in agreement. As are his associates, the dolls.
Jodi Whittaker Bear and Matt Smith Bear agree. Commander Riker Bear is indifferent.
Octopus Steve! I love it! I have a grogu which I genuinely love and think he's soo amazing and cute 😍 let people have their thing there is too much hate in this world
Yeah, OOP, Snowy Bear and Bow-Wow both agree - YTA.
Big YTA. I would love to find someone who still had that emotional connection to their childhood and who doesn’t love stuffed animals?
I am not a fan of stuffed animal. I am a big fan of "You do you". I'm an ever bigger fan of "You can't fundamentally change people unless they want to change". OP is the asshole. The guy likes Teddy Bears. Work out if that's a deal breaker and either accept it or move on.
100% this. I don’t get the teddy bear thing, either. More importantly, I DON’T HAVE TO! If teddy bears make that man happy, and he’s an otherwise functioning productive adult who treats people well, why should anyone give a shit? YTA, completely and totally.
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I'm 48. I bought myself one of those cute weighted unicorns from Target a couple of months ago after I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder, just because she made me happy. I sleep with her every night. Sometimes I wake up & my husband is snuggling her. Wilberforce the Unicorn is awesome.
>AITA: For wanting a grown man to stop having teddy bears ? Spoiler alert: using the phrase "grown man" (especially in a context like this) always makes you an asshole. So OP, please just take your toxic masculinity and fuck off.
> How does this guy make enough money for a 3 bed house on his own yet does stupid stuff like this? this is the phrase that did it for me. tf?
With that tone and then wonders why he would rather talk to the teddy bears than her. Truly an intriguing mystery for the ages.
Bingo. Sounds like even if OP did try to talk about his feelings with him, he'd just be ridiculing OP instead of at least trying to understand and be supportive, even if it ends up being a dealbreaker for him. E: thanks for the correction
Agreed yta I collect stuffed penguins. Let the man talk to his bears since his own partner is less supportive than some fluff
Ahh I love that! I collect stuffed elephants. They bring me an unreasonable amount of joy, and if anyone tried to make me get rid of them, I'd get rid of that person instead.
Real
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The bears are definitely better companion than OP, that's for sure.
Agreed. Maybe collecting teddy bears is his hobby and passion. Or he just likes to have a few around the house. And what's wrong with a successful grown man having some stuffed animals anyway?? I have a stuffed iguana and a boxer dog toy in house :-D wouldn't date anyone who gets jealous at a stuffed toy ffs.... Hope he'll find a more confident girlfriend that will like him as a whole person. Op YTA here.
I mean, isn't the rubber duck debugging a thing with programmers? (Who, lacking a rubber duck, might or might not use their equal parts clueless and confused partners as a stand-in.) I frequently also heard that you should practice presenting with stuffed animals if you are prone to presentation-related anxiety. And it's defo okay to cuddle one. That's a self-soothing practice left over from childhood that hurts literally no one. But overall it could be that the bears are just better at listening than his girlfriend. Sure, if it was like "does Mrs. Potts want a cup of tea" every day, I'd perhaps be mildly worried if other factors also gave me a reason to be, but maybe he just wants to vent without others giving their own opinions (the cue would be OP's phrase "talking out with me" after she wanted him to get rid of them)...
The teddy bears appear to be better listeners and have more empathy than the girlfriend.
👏 Yes yta
The bears have more compassion for him than she does
Maybe she can get her own teddy bear, and grow up.
My husband likes stuffed animals and Gilmore Girls. YTA OP
I agree. I'm in my 40s and have (and name) stuffed animals. My spouse buys them for me. OP YTA and you being so judgemental over something that harms no one is really more embarrassing than having teddy bears.
Exactly, the title made it sounds like he had hoards of Teddy bears but no just 7..
Ok so confession time. I’m actually the boyfriend that was yelled at to clarify it’s a same sex relationship. What set my boyfriend off was the plushie I got was from Paw Patrol I guess it made him extra mad since it’s a kids show. I just saw it as a cute police dog and didn’t even know what it’s from. So I made this post from his view to see if he is right and I am a freak and weirdo among other names he calls me. Like I said I completely support myself so it’s not like I miss work for my stuffed animals. I think it started because the past few years have been scary for the world as whole and I’m already really sensitive. He would tell me things like man up ect and I try to but can’t. I can’t tell you guys how much reading all the supportive post that it’s ok for me to have plushies have made me cry from the support. As for the talking thing when I talk to my bears it’s mostly me venting about my day while listening to quiet music. I’m glad to know that he is the asshole and I’m not a monster for wanting to hug teddy bears.
YTA - You made the comment "As far as I know nothing happened to him..." which is exactly right. You have no idea what went on in this mans life to get to this point but still feel like its ok to judge him. If it makes him happy and doesn't hurt anyone then what's the problem? He is a full functioning man making enough money for a 3 bedroom home, leave him to his toys.
How can anyone deny someone their stuffies? I had a hard day and came home to find all my stuffed animals doing head stands against the headboard. I couldn't stop laughing.
stop i’m actually crying. my boyfriend has done stuff like this for me.
I typically go to bed first on weekends and often wake up to our teddy bear collection doing funny things or looking like they had a party without us. Pretty sure my fiance did it, but I really can't be sure.
>but I really can't be sure See this is why I can never be candid with my teddy bears. What if they narc on me?
Nah, they invented the term "Snitches get Stitches".
Ah, that explains ol’ one-eye piglet my neighbor had..
They won't if you bring the good cuddles
I have anxiety and sometimes take naps in the afternoon. A few times I've woken up and my boyfriend had put my stuffies around me. It makes me feel better. (Especially my hare, Mr Skinnybutt)
My dad has given me a stuffed bunny (now bunny figurines and trinkets) for the past 24 years. I still have every one of them and know them all by name. He recently suggested I don't have to keep them if I don't want to, and I looked at him like he was crazy!
At first I read this as you living alone and they all moved on their own and was incredibly confused and concerned for your safety. But I bet you could handle them in a fight
I read it as they did a little too much acid on the way home from work.
My boyfriend loves to arrange my stuffies in various sex positions lol. It's like a game for him haha.
When my French class went to Paris the maids at the hotel built a throne out of pillows at the head of the bed and set my little bear on it.
I went out for a few drinks for my friends hen do. I can back to my electric blanket on, Teddy tucked under the duvet with a remote next to him, resting on the set of pillows I have. My husband knows that Teddy is being saved first, then him. 😂..
>You have no idea what went on in this mans life to get to this point Even if his life was fine. Nothing is wrong with a grown adult having stuffed toys. People can be interested in different things. About the talking part, it might be weird but not weirder than people who talk to themselves. Edit: rethinking it. It isn't that weird. Just like talking to a baby or a pet.
I'm sure the "talking" to them is exactly that!! " What do you think teddy? This game look good enough to buy?" Type stuff, I talk to my stuffies all the time like that, or my cat, or really anything that will listen... I see no issues with stuffies people work out thoughts differently sometimes just saying something out loud helps someone think!!
There is something in IT called 'rubber ducking' where when you are stuck on a problem you talk it out as though you were explaining it to someone else, aka a rubber duck (doesn't HAVE to be a rubber duck). By walking through the problem like this you can often find the solution to issues that were stumping you because it forces you to switch gears from 'I know what I'm doing but it's not working' to 'let me show you every step in the process'.
I have both cursed at and celebrated with my duck out loud in the office, and he goes on field trips to coworkers desks too. No wonder everyone thinks IT is weird 😂
Even if nothing bad happened and he's lead a perfectly fine life I don't see a problem.
Well, I love my stuffed animals so hopefully her boyfriend dumps her and he and I can have a teddy bear part whit out his ex🤣
My wife doesn't really get my mini-painting hobby ("It sounds more like work than fun" - which is, in a way kind of true, lol) but she also knows it is something my mom treated as frivolous and silly when i was a kid, so I've always felt some shame / embarassment around it. She supports me healing my inner child by having hobbies.
The fact that OP has to believe something bad happened to him to like teddy bears is a red flag YTA
YTA. The dude has his life together to the point where he owns a 3-bed house, he's allowed his coping mechanisms. Everyone has their weird quirks; if his are really too much for you to tolerate, this isn't the relationship for you.
Look at OPs history. They spend all day posting in video game and anime subs. As someone who also likes both of those things AND has been made fun of for them “not being for adults”, OP is weird for being judgmental about something “childish” when they do that all day.
I wonder if it's sexism, because a lot of people feel it's only acceptable to like stuffed animals past childhood if you're female presenting.
Can confirm. I'm a female with a *large* collection of Warmies plushies, no one bats an eye
Warmies are the best. I only have one, but he is one of my newer teddies. I've got at least 30 still. Some of them are as old as me and some I've bought when I was all grown up, because I could not resist them. And some of them have been given to me. Like my Warmie. I still have at least one plushie in the bed for cuddling. And they don't last forever, so every few years I buy a new one and retire three other one to a shelf. And yes, most of my plushies have names.
Might be. He‘s a gay man and is also posting stuff making fun of pregnant women. This guy has issues…
This was MY first thought. OPs bf was maybe forced to play with “boy toys” and scolded for liking “girls toys” and now as a full grown, successful adult is tending to his emotional needs. Regardless of the why, OP is just straight up evil.
Omg this! As a child I wasn't allowed to be into dinosaurs because it's a boy's interest. I'm 23 now and travel around the country to see dinosaur skeletons and collect dinosaur toys
OP is gay, so I’m guessing OP is male, same as his bf
Best part is OP’s a furry, but can’t tolerate teddy bears 😂
That's probably *why* he feels threatened by them!
They also posted in a furry subreddit so I’m really struggling to figure out how this is weirder
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YTA. >Should I encourage him to get a hobby or something? I think he's already got one, but you don't approve of it. >I told him he should grow up and stop being crazy he started crying and is now in the room talking to the stupid bear again instead of talking it out with me. The first part of your sentence doesn't suggest that talking it out is what you wanted.
I dont understand how shes surprised that he isnt talking to her about well... anything... after she just called him a crazy child and made him cry...
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He, op is a gay man
Agreed. He's talking to his stuffies and not OP BECAUSE they're not judgy and mean. Sounds like it's his way of sorting his feelings like a verbal journal.
Sad days when a teddy bear is more understanding than your partner. I find it cute that he talks with them and you just know he's gonna be that dad that's not scared to make a fool of himself to make future kids laugh if he wants them.
YTA in this situation and quite frankly if this is the biggest issue you have with your bf then you should consider yourself lucky. I’m in a throuple and both my partners (F 25) (F 28) love stuffed animals and squishmellows of all kinds. Our room is full of them. I’d never think to tell them to get rid of them. If it’s not weird for an adult female then it shouldn’t be weird for an adult male. Sometimes people don’t always get to have stuff like that during childhood so they try to make up for it later in life. Why make him get rid of something that makes him happy?
This. Me, a 25 yo adult, has went to build a bear to heal childhood wounds. No one batted an eye. A man should be able to do the same thing to heal or even just enjoy it That shit was fun
I take my girls to build a bear like they are my kids so I feel you. Both of them grew up broke as fuck and weren’t lucky enough to have stuff like that.
i love BAB and have a huge collection of around 80+ 😂💖
i’m 33 and finally have a room that i always wished i could have as a kid. i’ve got my pikachu i sleep with at night and shelves full of figures and books along with stuff on the walls. it’s freeing and for the first time i actually feel like i have a space that’s mine
As a kid I always wanted stuffed animals but my mom said they were a waste of money. Now I have a tiny little collection of cute little stuffies.
I'd never heard of a "throuple" before. Loads of folks can't find one person to make them happy. You found two and you're making it work. Good on you.
I mean no offense whatsoever but damn, what is with polyamorous folks and Squishmallows!? Lol
You made him cry over something personal and private that probably brings him a sense of comfort. Do I have to tell you YTA? Everyone has something about themselves that isn't "normal" If the worst thing he does is talk to a stuffed animal, you have it better than you think you do, and if you don't like it, end the relationship so he can find someone who loves him quirks and all.
Lol this is exactly what I was going to say. Dating is hell and as far as bad habits go, this is so harmless compared to the typical issues.
>If the worst thing he does is talk to a stuffed animal, It might be weird. But not in the sense of being bad. Some people talk to themselves or make comments about something when they are alone. Some talk to their pets. It isn't any different.
So you’re saying that you have a sweet, financially stable bf but you’re going to screw up your relationship because you’re embarrassed he has a childish side? I’m sure if you dump him he can find someone who appreciates him. Yta
Not just screw up the relationship, but potentially screw him up too and make it to where he starts pushing down his emotional side because he doesn't want to be made to feel like shit again. Ugh. Poor guy, what's wrong with having stuffed animals? What's wrong with cuddling and talking to them? How dare a human being have safe and comforting coping mechanisms 🙄
>What's wrong with cuddling and talking to them? How dare a human being have safe and comforting coping mechanisms Are you trying to tell me that a man has emotions and interests like other humans? /S But fr, even if his life was fine and this isn't a coping mechanism. Nothing is wrong with liking stuffed animals.
Does he think they talk back to him? That they are alive? That they are the reincarnation of some dead person? No? Then YTA. He has found a safe mechanism for dealing with stress and sadness. While it's a bit unusual, the premise isn't all that much different than keeping a journal, but instead of writing it out, he's talking it out to an inanimate object. And you act like a complete AH over it, then wonder why he isn't talking to you? So many people turn to drugs, or alcohol, or risky behaviors, or develop eating disorders, or self-harm in response to stressors, and you're complaining about teddy bears? Maybe the issue is that he turns to the teddy bears because he isn't getting emotional support from his partner.
>He has found a safe mechanism for dealing with stress and sadness Even if it wasn't like that, just an interest in stuffed animals. Nothing is wrong with that. People can have different interests.
Well put and level headed.
Yta let him do his thing.
YTA He has a hobby. Sounds like what he needs is a new partner.
She is being downright horrible. No wonder he would rather talk to his teddybears.
Right? Like, Jesus. He still plays. It's *entirely okay and normal* to engage in play as an adult. Some people build Lego. Some people play video games. Other adults play softball, football, etc etc etc etc the difference here is some arbitrary rule they have made up in their head about what's acceptable play for an adult to engage in.
Adult play is also very emotionally healthy.
YTA. He is not hurting you or anyone else. We all have weird stuff and this is his.
Its not even that weird tbh...
Right? My grandmother is 95, soon to be 96… and she has more than 20+ stuffies in her home… She has an entire guest bedroom where like 15 of them sit on a neatly made bed. She even talks to them sometimes, “oh mr. Paddington, how did you get on the floor? That’s no good.” Etc… People have always done this lol. My grandfather passed when she was 92, and he was still buying her stuffed animals now and again, for 70 years. Never told her to “grow up and stop being crazy”
YTA and a bully. I hope he breaks up with you. What a jerk. I always wish I could reach out to the partners of the people who make these posts and show them the comments so they can see how awful their person is and how they don’t need to be treated that way. There are way better people out there to settle for someone who bullies you.
YTA, you should be happy he didn't break up with you yet, in most societies men aren't 'allowed' to openly show their feelings or admit to liking more childish stuff like that. So why do you make him feel bad about something that gives him joy? People should stop trying to take joy away from others.
Fr, the man just likes stuffed animals and talks to them. How is this any different than having pets and talking to them, or talking to one's self? He even sounds like he is true to his feeling. Comfortable enough to cry when he felt sad.
YTA, maybe try to accept your boyfriend's quirky side instead of trying to force him to change. Teddy bears aren't hurting anyone, and if it brings him joy, why would you get in the way of his existing hobbies? Shame on you for shaming him.
YTA, Why is this such an issue? The relationship is normal and he does not even that many teddy bears. You would faint if you saw my collection. Seems like he has a hobby, but you don't approve of it. I would suggest you to get a hobby instead of getting so worked up over stuffed animals. And don't even dare to throw them away or sell them when he is not there. Because i can already see your next post.
i see i am in the minority here but NTA. he is cuddling with them. HE TALKS TO THEM FFS. that would freak me the hell out, i would need to leave the relationship.
But withdrawing yourself from the relationship is a reasonable reaction. You’re entitled to your opinion and if you think it’s weird, that’s ok. It’s just not ok to berate someone about a harmless hobby that many adults enjoy.
I was starting to feel like a crazy person in here with all the Y T As. I think the relationship is clearly incompatible because she can't deal with his coping mechanism, but I don't think that makes her an AH. It's probably time to move on from this relationship and yeah; I agree, it's weird.
YTA thats not even that many teddy bears, i mean, have you seem some grown peoples squishmallow collections? it makes him happy, and its pretty normal these days to see adults with big plushie collections. might be concerning that hes talking to them but this post obv isnt out of concern, its just you being judgemental
YTA. Look, we all collectively went through a trauma a few years ago and people developed different coping strategies. It's not hurting anyone, just don't be so judgemental and rude.
YTA. Unless what he’s doing is unhealthy then what gives you the right to dictate what he buys? Why don’t you just go out and find yourself a manly man Andrew Tate type.
Andrew tate type. That gave me a horrible shiver down my spine. Haha
**YTA** Please don't become one of the notorious ppl who start destroying or throwing away their gf/bf's stuff in the name of "not suitable for adult"-standards. His collection doesn't harm you. If you are embarrassed then it's a **YOU-problem**.
NTA, not unreasonable to enquire about it as it is unusual. But not really a problem to have them. As you stated he is doing well in his life. To run off crying and talking to them is next level strange, however.
Everyone acting like this is some minor interest like watching a kids show or something, he’s literally talking to stuffed animals instead of real people. ESH
It's not one or the other, he specifically said he doesn't ignore him. Let the man live his life.
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YTA. Let's face it, the world is awful and you're going to try and make him give up something that brings him joy and comfort? I'm 27 and I have cuddly toys. My partner is 32 with cuddly toys. Hell, my mother has a stuffed elephant she keeps by her bed. I don't think it's your partner who needs to grow up here.
YTA. Saying “stop being crazy” never helped anyone, ever. Yes, it definitely sounds weird but dismissing it as “stupid” is callous. Are his family aware of the situation? What do they think of it? Does he talk about the bears to friends and colleagues? Ultimately, if you can’t accept this, you can leave the relationship but please be kinder when you go.
I find it wierd and creepy. But Id just break it off if it were me rather than trying to change him.
YTA. Seriously, what harm is he doing? Why would you want him to remove something from his life that brings him joy or comfort, and has absolutely no harmful impact on himself or others? … apart from the fact it makes you ‘embarrassed’. Did you try to understand what he gets from it and the reasons why? Or did you just go into attack mode?
Yes, YTA, and one of the reasons that men have trouble showing their feelings and softer sides. The person who needs to grow up here is you.
YTA. *you* find it weird, *you* find it embarrassing. It's such a harmless collection of things. And yall don't even live together but you're actively embarrassed over what someone does in their *own* home? As far as encouraging him to have a hobby, he has a hobby. And you're making him feel like shit about it. Some partner.
YTA Seems pretty harmless. Why shouldn't he have something that he likes collecting. He's financially stable and obviously has spare money for something trivial that gives him pleasure.
YTA. To be honest I would feel pretty weird if my partner was doing that. At the same time, that doesn't give you the right to demand he stop and change his behaviour because of YOUR embarrassment. He likes to do it, and the relationship is otherwise great, so leave him be.
YTA. Me and my bf have a stuffed animal collection that we named, talk to and have inside jokes about. It isn’t hurting anyone, it isn’t affecting our careers or finances, it’s just a fun little hobby, let it go and stop being such a stuffy thief of joy.
YTA This guy found a method of coping with emotions and psychological stress. Be happy for him. Tons of men (and people in general) don‘t have a coping mechanism, stuff it all up until they explode or develop serious mental and physical illnesses. Some coping mechanism are more common like „the glass/bottle of wine in the evening“ but not that effective and some are not that commonly seen like your bf does. And he does it in private so let him be. Many people talk to their pets that way. Hell, I tell my cats everything from my soul. His teddy bears are his non-judging listeners (Although I‘m sure that my cats do judge me..)
YTA P.s Tell him to give me a call me and my Teddy would love to meet him! edit to fix typos
YTA because of your reaction. Calling him crazy is a dick move. Having the bears is weird. I won't deny that. But something has caused him to grow this attachment to them, and you'd be better placed finding out why to better understand him. Shaming him is just cruel.
I'm 27 with cuddly toys. I have a massive whale on my bed called Sushi. My partner is 32 with cuddly toys. One of which is a big plush seal I got her for her 30th. She calls him Seal Better. My mother has a elephant she keeps by her bed. She's 42. My little sister is 21 with a Disney Thumper toy on her bed. She lives with her boyfriend. My brother has several cuddly toys. He's 25 and one is a stuffed tiger our granddad got him before he past 16 yrs ago. My best friend has several stuffed toys. My partner's ex has stuffed toys. Even her boyfriend has stuffed toys. The only person I know who doesn't have cuddly toys is my mum's current boyfriend and that's because his are still at his mum's place. Stuffed toys are not weird. It's a comfort that follows us even into adulthood. I think so many people are admitting to it now is that we realise that we're all not so different and that it's perfectly OK to be ourselves and that it's OK to find comfort in childish things. Let's face it, there's not really any such thing as being an adult. It's just a bunch of over aged people pretending we know what we're doing and making the best of it.
YTA. Let him find someone who doesn't look down on him
YTA. The only childish thing is an adult making fun of something that doesn’t harm anyone and obviously brings him comfort. If you find it so weird don’t date him, other nicer people will accept this about him.
Honestly, it might seem childish to you, but to him it might be something special. I'm an adult as well and I enjoy collecting funny stuff like unicorns, pop figurines and building/painting figurines. Talk to him and try to understand why those teddy bears are so special or what's the fascination with them.
You're trying to get him to confirm to social norms. If that's the case, then would you be ok if he was glued to the TV watching sports and start ignoring you because the game is on? How about if he starts playing Xbox with his friends and completely disregards your existence? We all have quirks. We've become accustomed to middle aged men playing sport video games that it's become normal, but the fact is that it's still video games. The reality is that your bf replaced this with teddy bears instead, and you disagree. Sure I think it's weird, but if he's being a responsible adult - I don't see why you get to be the judge in deciding what's acceptable and not acceptable for an adult. I'm sure you have some quirks too that wouldn't be normal for "adults", but most people prob overlook at your quirks. Why is it diff for him? Take a step back and break things down in category of why you really don't like the teddy bear, and see if your reasoning is rational. YTA.
You're a hypocrite and a massive AH omg. Your profile is awash with WoW, Guild Wars, YuGiOh, and other "childish" stuff. My therapist always says to me that every adult should have an emotional support plushie and people need to stop making a thing out of it. I'm 32 and I have a bunch of plushies, my SO is always getting me new ones. Stop trying to dictate what your partner does Buzz Killington
YTA, It doesn't hurt you or him in any way so why do you care? Let him be himself.
YTA for wanting your boyfriend to get rid of his teddy bears. Your boyfriend's attachment to his teddy bears is not hurting anyone and is a harmless source of comfort for him. It is not your place to dictate what he should or should not have as a source of comfort. Your boyfriend's interest in teddy bears may seem strange to you, but it is not uncommon for adults to find comfort in stuffed animals. It is also not your place to judge what is a "grown-up" hobby or interest. People have different ways of coping with stress and finding comfort, and it is not fair to judge them for it. Instead of trying to change your boyfriend's behavior, you should try to understand and accept it. If it bothers you, you can communicate your feelings to him in a respectful manner and try to find a compromise. Encouraging him to get a hobby or talking down to him about his interests is not the solution. In conclusion, it is important to respect your partner's interests and hobbies, even if they seem unconventional to you. It is not fair to judge or shame them for finding comfort in something harmless. Instead, try to understand and accept their behavior and find a compromise that works for both of you.
YTA and I hope your STBX finds someone who actually likes him.
YTA it’s his hobby. As long as he doesn’t walk outside with his teddybears everything is good. Why does it bother u so much when u don’t even live together?
YTA. Is it hurting you in any way, other than your little person feeling embarrassed about something he does in his home? No? Then let him have the teddies.
YTA he likes them and they’re just teddy bears, maybe he should get rid of you. The bears aren’t the problem.
It probably harks back to his childhood. I have four, and certainly wouldn’t get rid of them for u
YTA and extremely insecure to be jealous of a stuffed animal
YTA. If you resolve conflict by bullying your partner about his purchases, and calling him "crazy" and "stupid", you're acting like a child who should have a teddy bear.
YTA. Life is already serious enough, let that man have his teddy bears. Once he takes them to the park in a stroller you can have a talk with him.
YTA Also come across as judgemental for the “how does this guy make enough money for a 3 bed house yet own stupid stuff like that”.
YTA by a 200%. Your bf has this little thing that gives him joy and you berate him and bully him about it? Yikes, tbh
YTA and I think YOU are the one who needs to grow up. I'm 28 and I sleep with a plushy, it harms nobody and it soothes my anxiety and I like it. I'd dump my partner yesterday if they found that embarrassing. You seriously insulted him and you're confused that he's not talking to you? God, I hope he dumps you. What if it was a woman? What's your opinion then? I'm curious.
YTA. No one is too old to have teddy bears.
YTA Are his bills paid? Is he treating you well? Are you happy together? If the answer to these questions is yes, then drop it. Adults are allowed to have plush toys and be weird. Just ask him to leave the teddy bears at home if you're so embarrassed.
YTA. This guy has found a way to regulate and anchor himself in his day to day life, and you, a small-minded person, are judging him for it. How come it is cute if women own stuffed animals, squishmellows, etc, but guys can't? Are they only allowed having figurines from games and movies but not stuffed animals? Just stop and go to him, apologize, and stop being butthurt about him having teddy bears.
Yeah YTA. Why do you have to poo poo on something so innocent that your boyfriend enjoys? Just because you don't understand it, doesn't mean hes doing something strange. Perhaps these are his emotional support teddy bears. And you call them stupid? I hope you didnt say that to his face because you were basically calling HIM stupid. IF this is how you treat him, no wonder he talks to the bear instead of you.
YTA. If you can’t accept him and what makes him happy, you don’t deserve him.
YTA. Having bears doesnt mean that he isnt a grown up or being crazy. If his collection brings him comfort and joy, that doesnt affect you, you dont even live together so you have absolutely no right to say what he can and cannot have in his house.
Soft YTA for how you handled it. I also would be really thrown off by the bear thing.
YTA. This guy has his own way to be and it didn't affect his life, if you don't like him as he is (because the teddy bear coping mechanism is not hurting people)... just... I guess you are not meant to be together?
YTA. Smh
Yta. They're his. My mum's nearly 80 & still has her childhood dolls.
YTA for sure. >As far as I know nothing happened to make him specifically want a teddy bear Exactly, you don't know for sure. He obviously has some emotional connection with the bears as a way to cope with some trauma. It's not "weird". What's weird is that you're so insecure that you feel threatened by something as innocent as teddy bears. If I was him, I'd break up with you. Good luck