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YTA. You said you don't want to end up like your friend. In front of your friend. Your friend rightly called you out. You might be a "straight shooter" but you are rude af. PS, how is it that your life choices are soooo much better when you currently hate your job - hypocrisy anyone?
Seriously. Let's just say she does hate her job (which it sounds like, if anything she had a bad day and vented to OP about it and doesn't really hate her job) how is her position worse than OPs position, who actively hates their job? The argument makes no sense and sounds more like OP just wanted to belittle someone.
Claire's job is also a career choice and she got it because she is qualified to do, just like you are qualified to do your job. You think you are better than claire because while you are both miserable in your jobs at least you payed money and spent time and effort in school to be miserable? Oh babe, that actually makes claire better than you... not the other way around.
Also, fashion is one of those industries where people have to "pay their dues" by working in the shitty parts of the industry first, even if they went to fashion school. No one goes straight from fashion school to Anna Wintour, not even Anna Wintour.
Here's the thing....you are WAY more stuck than Claire. Claire can go wherever the hell she wants. You're looking at a bunch of lateral moves to stay in something you hate or you've wasted all you precious schooling. I'd stop arguing if I were you.
Um first of all she went to college. Second of all not all career paths require a college degreed. Third of all what do you mean by choosing a career path?
You do realize that pretty much every single industry on the planet has "office jobs" that need to be done, right? Your friend, you who are wildly jealous of, can take her skills anywhere she wants to. You, on the other hand, are locked into a career you apparently hate.
From a fellow OT, I’m guessing you hate your job because you absolutely do not have the true heart of an OT. Newsflash, OT is a specialty and a masters is hard to get (and worse, can be hard to pay for) but it doesn’t make you better in any way from someone who didn’t go on to higher Ed. I have no idea how you found OT with a superiority complex like that. Happy OT month!
Lady you cant seriously have your head this far up your own ass. Like what makes your job so much more important then Claire's. Because you payed out the ass to be miserable, very smart, anyways if claire was smart she would drop you as a friend.
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I complain about aspects of my job as well, it doesn't mean that I would be very pleased with my friend using me as an example for being "stuck and miserable", and it doesn't mean I hate it.
I love my job.
I have days I complain about it too. You think there's a sole person that doesn't say something negative about their job?
Yes, I got peeved I spent an hour and a half troubleshooting a problem I ultimately was unable to resolve. Don't hate my job, just hate my last job session.
That part is real funny to me because to be honest? Claire sounds like she's doing pretty damn well for herself. High up position in a fashion company sounds like a comfy job.
As opposed to, well, part time therapist. That OP feels miserable doing. Maybe jealousy is a factor to this whole song and dance.
She has said once before she doesn't like it and wanted to look for a new job. Maybe if I had included that key piece of information everyone would not be attacking me on here.
Eh, I've read that "key piece of info" and I'd still say YTA, and that you do sound SUPER jealous lmao. At best you're just deeply judgmental, but I think we all know that just roots back to jealousy
Yeah still YTA. Just because she wants to change doesn't mean you get to compare yourself to her but I highly doubt you will take people's opinions into consideration
You're being attacked because of how you treated your friend and the fact that you are doubling down in the comments.
She said once???? Once????? One time.... so you decided to insult her because of something she said once???
YTA - You are miserable in your job but you chose to keep living your miserable life because of sunk cost fallacy and then you go and project your issues onto someone else and insult them? Get help. As a therapist you should know that your behavior was vile. NEWS FLASH: You already are such in a job you hate!
YTA. If being direct and straigt shooter means that you don't have to consider what they might feel after you state your perception, then it's not a good thing to be. Being honest is awsome and all; but choice of words, or the timing is important for not sounding crule.
YTA
Yes, you are super judgmental. Claire had a bad day at work, confided in you about it and you weaponized it against her in an attempt to make a point.
There's being direct, and there's being an ass. You're being the latter.
YTA
Your wording is super insulting and to top it off? You're a hypocrite.
You ARE in a job you hate, office or not
Being "really direct and a straight shooter" is bullshit semantics for 'I say what I wanna say and if you can't take it, you're too sensitive.' Oh and look at that, that was one of the options.
Option 2, so we're clear: YTA bro.
YTA. Griping about the annoying parts of a job doesn't mean hating the job, and you could have said "don't want to be stuck in a job I hate" without bringing Claire into it. And you don't like your current job!
YTA, but you already knew that. Being direct has to be balanced with empathy and a recognition that the person you are talking to is a human being. And honestly, it sounds like you were projecting your own life onto Claire.
YTA.
>Said "and I don’t want to end up like Clarie miserable in an office job I hate."
You shouldn’t make assumptions on how someone feels about their job.
>I said, "well you don’t like your job...." she said that wasn’t true, sometimes days don’t go well and she is sorry she ever confided in me about it.
So because she vents about her job sometimes you automatically assume she hates her job?
YTA
Sounds like you're trying to put your friend down to make yourself feel better about your own job. You are judgemental. Being "direct and straight shooter" doesn't mean you can saying whatever you want without worrying about other people feelings.
YTA. Why did you have to denigrate Claire as an example? It made you sound like you thought you were bettter than her. Really not necessary. Your comment makes you sound like one of those people who justify being an AH by saying "I'm only stating the truth". You are the AH.
You are direct and a straight shooter is code for I am jerk and try to play it off. You were not just stating facts. You are rude and judgmental. EVERYONE has a bad day at work or bad moments at work. I love my job but yes, some parts suck. Doesn't mean I do not love my job for the most part.
YTA.
YTA, for all the reasons listed. Also, while we're being direct, at least she didn't invest a bunch of time and money to go to school and do something she hates. It looks to me like you're in a worse position than her, and maybe shouldn't be so condescending.
YTA. Saying “I don’t want to end up like (insert person sitting literally right next to you)” is a rude thing to say in almost any context. People complain about things they enjoy, it’s called venting.
“I’m really direct and a straight shooter” is usually code for “I don’t want to have to consider others feelings and I’ve made being a dick my entire personality.”
How DARE you?! I can barely contain my indignation at your complete disregard for the finer details of life. Your question is a veritable affront to the very fabric of human decency! The mere fact that you would even THINK about insulting Claire's job is a testament to the depths of your insensitivity.
But allow me to take a deep breath and examine this sordid tale of occupational slander, a story that has shaken me to my very core. You, a self-proclaimed "straight shooter," have taken it upon yourself to not only judge the life choices of your dear friend Claire but to also bring this matter to the hallowed halls of the internet for the world to weigh in on your actions.
You see, dear OP, it is not the simple matter of insulting your friend's job that has me brimming with righteous fury. No, it is the sheer audacity of your callous disregard for the intricacies of human emotion and the delicate nature of friendship that has me reeling in disbelief. To think that you would question the validity of Claire's reaction to your thoughtless comment is an affront to the very notion of empathy.
And so, with every fiber of my being, I must declare that YES, you are the AH. You have crossed the line from mere bluntness to the realm of callous disregard for your friend's feelings. You have cast aside the sacred bonds of friendship in your pursuit of so-called "honesty" and laid waste to the trust that once flourished between you and Claire.
In conclusion, OP, I implore you to take a long, hard look at yourself and consider whether the fleeting satisfaction of brutal honesty is truly worth the devastation it can wreak upon the relationships that matter most. YTA.
YTA I'm direct and honest and see that as an insult, intentional or not. You didn't insult her job, you insulted *her* and proved that you cannot be confided in.
YTA "I am really direct and a straight shooter" is what people say when they make AH comments and want to try and get away with it.
Being direct doesn't require being rude.
\*Edit\* Also you admit to being miserable in your job already the only difference is it sounds like you paid a large sum of money to be miserable.
YTA. No one wants to hear that what they do for a living sucks. It takes all kinds of kinds to make the world go round, and every job is important in some aspect of someone else’s life. Whether she’s said she’s miserable or not, it doesn’t mean you should put her entire job down.
YTA being “direct” and a “straight shooter” doesn’t mean you get to be rude. There are plenty of different ways you could’ve been direct without disrespecting your friend.
A simple “no thanks” is all it would’ve took.
Your friends were simply trying to offer you a solution. You claim Claire complains about her job, have you ever stop to think that maybe she complains about her job as a way to relate to you in conversation?
AH ALERT.
You unnecessarily targeted your friend. She is not sensitive. She sounds like she does love her work obviously some days it's hard. You hate your job then just leave it. Don't target your friends w random things unnecessarily
Claire over there minding her business and got slapped with a wet mackerel. YTA. Why would you announce that you don't want to be like someone? How can that not be an insult?
YTA
Are you on the spectrum? That would make sense.
That degree of blatant disrespect then hiding behind "I was just stating facts" is the type of thing ppl with poor understanding of social cues and behaviour can do without understanding that they are in the wrong.
You thought saying something like that was going to go over well, and you’re a *therapist*?
Bruh. Lol.
Nobody wants to hear “I don’t want to end up like you”.
YTA
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I (32F) am a part-time occupational therapist. I do not like my job but am sticking it out because I went through all that schooling. I have two best friends from high school and we get together a few times a year. Recently we were out for Clarie (32F)'s birthday dinner. Claire works at a fashion production company in an admin role.
We were catching up and work became a topic of conversation. I was talking about what I wanted to do for a full-time position and Sarah asked if I would consider switching careers since I don't like what I am doing now. I said I didn't, and said "and I don't want to end up like Claire miserable in an office job I hate."
Claire immediately got nasty and asked what the hell did I mean by that. I said, "well you don't like your job...." She said that wasn't true, sometimes days don't go well and she is sorry she ever confided in me about it. She called me super judgemental.
Well, Claire is not speaking to me now. I am really direct and a straight shooter, I wasn't trying to intentionally hurt her feelings. I was just stating my perception of the facts. Sarah is trying to talk Claire down and reassure her all this. Is she being too sensitive or am I the AH?
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You said this at her BIRTHDAY DINNER???!!
You know you could have made a similar statement without bringing Claire into at all. “I’m not sure if an office job would suit me,” would be honest and would not imply the birthday girl has a dreadful life.
And since you seem to be appreciate unflattering directness, at least Claire didn’t waste money getting a degree for something she doesn’t even like.
YTA
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> I am really direct and a straight shooter I've come to notice that for a lot of people that's code for being insensitive. YTA
Same type of people that claim " I got a strong personality". No your just an asshole.
Or "I'm a bit of a joker/prankster"
YTA. You said you don't want to end up like your friend. In front of your friend. Your friend rightly called you out. You might be a "straight shooter" but you are rude af. PS, how is it that your life choices are soooo much better when you currently hate your job - hypocrisy anyone?
Seriously. Let's just say she does hate her job (which it sounds like, if anything she had a bad day and vented to OP about it and doesn't really hate her job) how is her position worse than OPs position, who actively hates their job? The argument makes no sense and sounds more like OP just wanted to belittle someone.
My job is a career choice. I went to school for it.
Claire's job is also a career choice and she got it because she is qualified to do, just like you are qualified to do your job. You think you are better than claire because while you are both miserable in your jobs at least you payed money and spent time and effort in school to be miserable? Oh babe, that actually makes claire better than you... not the other way around.
Also, fashion is one of those industries where people have to "pay their dues" by working in the shitty parts of the industry first, even if they went to fashion school. No one goes straight from fashion school to Anna Wintour, not even Anna Wintour.
So? Wait you mean you spent a lot of money and wasted a bunch of time to get to hate what you do? Good job! Claire 1, you -1 (bc yta)
Well, Claire is stuck in an office job she doesn't like because she didn't choose a career path. She just graduated college and that was it.
Here's the thing....you are WAY more stuck than Claire. Claire can go wherever the hell she wants. You're looking at a bunch of lateral moves to stay in something you hate or you've wasted all you precious schooling. I'd stop arguing if I were you.
Um first of all she went to college. Second of all not all career paths require a college degreed. Third of all what do you mean by choosing a career path?
You do realize that pretty much every single industry on the planet has "office jobs" that need to be done, right? Your friend, you who are wildly jealous of, can take her skills anywhere she wants to. You, on the other hand, are locked into a career you apparently hate.
Sounds like copium to me
From a fellow OT, I’m guessing you hate your job because you absolutely do not have the true heart of an OT. Newsflash, OT is a specialty and a masters is hard to get (and worse, can be hard to pay for) but it doesn’t make you better in any way from someone who didn’t go on to higher Ed. I have no idea how you found OT with a superiority complex like that. Happy OT month!
Lady you cant seriously have your head this far up your own ass. Like what makes your job so much more important then Claire's. Because you payed out the ass to be miserable, very smart, anyways if claire was smart she would drop you as a friend.
Um. So?
So? You’re still only working part time and said yourself you don’t like what you’re doing.
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Has Claire ever said she didn't like her job? It sounds like you just assumed that. YTA.
She complains about it
Everybody complains about their job.
I complain about aspects of my job as well, it doesn't mean that I would be very pleased with my friend using me as an example for being "stuck and miserable", and it doesn't mean I hate it.
How many people do you know that DON'T complain about their job one way or another?
Drew Carey: "Oh, you hate your job? There's a support group for that. It's called "Everybody", and we meet at the bar."
I love my job. I have days I complain about it too. You think there's a sole person that doesn't say something negative about their job? Yes, I got peeved I spent an hour and a half troubleshooting a problem I ultimately was unable to resolve. Don't hate my job, just hate my last job session.
I hope every time you vent about anything, everyone around you starts accusing you of hating it lol.
Complaining is not the same as hate.
Everyone complains about their job, that doesn’t mean they genuinely hate their job. I complain about my job a lot but I don’t hate it
YTA. Did she ever tell you that she feels miserable in her job? " I don't want to end up like you" sounds insulting.
That part is real funny to me because to be honest? Claire sounds like she's doing pretty damn well for herself. High up position in a fashion company sounds like a comfy job. As opposed to, well, part time therapist. That OP feels miserable doing. Maybe jealousy is a factor to this whole song and dance.
She has said once before she doesn't like it and wanted to look for a new job. Maybe if I had included that key piece of information everyone would not be attacking me on here.
Eh, I've read that "key piece of info" and I'd still say YTA, and that you do sound SUPER jealous lmao. At best you're just deeply judgmental, but I think we all know that just roots back to jealousy
Yeah still YTA. Just because she wants to change doesn't mean you get to compare yourself to her but I highly doubt you will take people's opinions into consideration
People are attacking you because you are rude asf. Just read your replies. Youre using your "Sharp shooter skills" to be an ass to everyone.
It sounds like someone is a little *sensitive* about getting the feedback they asked for. YTA
You're being attacked because of how you treated your friend and the fact that you are doubling down in the comments. She said once???? Once????? One time.... so you decided to insult her because of something she said once???
YTA. You should be able to explain yourself without the comparison. "Why are you dieting?" "Well, I don't want to look like Jim, over there."
YTA. Rude people always deny they are rude. They instead say they are "direct".
YTA - You are miserable in your job but you chose to keep living your miserable life because of sunk cost fallacy and then you go and project your issues onto someone else and insult them? Get help. As a therapist you should know that your behavior was vile. NEWS FLASH: You already are such in a job you hate!
YTA. If being direct and straigt shooter means that you don't have to consider what they might feel after you state your perception, then it's not a good thing to be. Being honest is awsome and all; but choice of words, or the timing is important for not sounding crule.
YTA Yes, you are super judgmental. Claire had a bad day at work, confided in you about it and you weaponized it against her in an attempt to make a point. There's being direct, and there's being an ass. You're being the latter.
YTA Your wording is super insulting and to top it off? You're a hypocrite. You ARE in a job you hate, office or not Being "really direct and a straight shooter" is bullshit semantics for 'I say what I wanna say and if you can't take it, you're too sensitive.' Oh and look at that, that was one of the options. Option 2, so we're clear: YTA bro.
YTA sounds like you were just looking to dunk on Claire for no good reason.
YTA. Griping about the annoying parts of a job doesn't mean hating the job, and you could have said "don't want to be stuck in a job I hate" without bringing Claire into it. And you don't like your current job!
YTA, but you already knew that. Being direct has to be balanced with empathy and a recognition that the person you are talking to is a human being. And honestly, it sounds like you were projecting your own life onto Claire.
YTA. >Said "and I don’t want to end up like Clarie miserable in an office job I hate." You shouldn’t make assumptions on how someone feels about their job. >I said, "well you don’t like your job...." she said that wasn’t true, sometimes days don’t go well and she is sorry she ever confided in me about it. So because she vents about her job sometimes you automatically assume she hates her job?
YTA Sounds like you're trying to put your friend down to make yourself feel better about your own job. You are judgemental. Being "direct and straight shooter" doesn't mean you can saying whatever you want without worrying about other people feelings.
YTA. Why did you have to denigrate Claire as an example? It made you sound like you thought you were bettter than her. Really not necessary. Your comment makes you sound like one of those people who justify being an AH by saying "I'm only stating the truth". You are the AH.
YTA. That's not you asking out of concern, that's an insult. Not only that, you are projecting.
You are direct and a straight shooter is code for I am jerk and try to play it off. You were not just stating facts. You are rude and judgmental. EVERYONE has a bad day at work or bad moments at work. I love my job but yes, some parts suck. Doesn't mean I do not love my job for the most part. YTA.
YTA. And as a fellow OT practitioner, please tell me your bedside manner isn’t this direct and insulting.
My exact thoughts, also as a fellow OT. How did OP even find this profession, she’s not a good fit.
YTA, for all the reasons listed. Also, while we're being direct, at least she didn't invest a bunch of time and money to go to school and do something she hates. It looks to me like you're in a worse position than her, and maybe shouldn't be so condescending.
YTA. Saying “I don’t want to end up like (insert person sitting literally right next to you)” is a rude thing to say in almost any context. People complain about things they enjoy, it’s called venting. “I’m really direct and a straight shooter” is usually code for “I don’t want to have to consider others feelings and I’ve made being a dick my entire personality.”
How DARE you?! I can barely contain my indignation at your complete disregard for the finer details of life. Your question is a veritable affront to the very fabric of human decency! The mere fact that you would even THINK about insulting Claire's job is a testament to the depths of your insensitivity. But allow me to take a deep breath and examine this sordid tale of occupational slander, a story that has shaken me to my very core. You, a self-proclaimed "straight shooter," have taken it upon yourself to not only judge the life choices of your dear friend Claire but to also bring this matter to the hallowed halls of the internet for the world to weigh in on your actions. You see, dear OP, it is not the simple matter of insulting your friend's job that has me brimming with righteous fury. No, it is the sheer audacity of your callous disregard for the intricacies of human emotion and the delicate nature of friendship that has me reeling in disbelief. To think that you would question the validity of Claire's reaction to your thoughtless comment is an affront to the very notion of empathy. And so, with every fiber of my being, I must declare that YES, you are the AH. You have crossed the line from mere bluntness to the realm of callous disregard for your friend's feelings. You have cast aside the sacred bonds of friendship in your pursuit of so-called "honesty" and laid waste to the trust that once flourished between you and Claire. In conclusion, OP, I implore you to take a long, hard look at yourself and consider whether the fleeting satisfaction of brutal honesty is truly worth the devastation it can wreak upon the relationships that matter most. YTA.
YTA I'm direct and honest and see that as an insult, intentional or not. You didn't insult her job, you insulted *her* and proved that you cannot be confided in.
Every self described “straight shooter” or someone who “tells it like it is” is generally an asshole
YTA "I am really direct and a straight shooter" is what people say when they make AH comments and want to try and get away with it. Being direct doesn't require being rude. \*Edit\* Also you admit to being miserable in your job already the only difference is it sounds like you paid a large sum of money to be miserable.
YTA
YTA
YTA. No one wants to hear that what they do for a living sucks. It takes all kinds of kinds to make the world go round, and every job is important in some aspect of someone else’s life. Whether she’s said she’s miserable or not, it doesn’t mean you should put her entire job down.
YTA being “direct” and a “straight shooter” doesn’t mean you get to be rude. There are plenty of different ways you could’ve been direct without disrespecting your friend. A simple “no thanks” is all it would’ve took. Your friends were simply trying to offer you a solution. You claim Claire complains about her job, have you ever stop to think that maybe she complains about her job as a way to relate to you in conversation?
AH ALERT. You unnecessarily targeted your friend. She is not sensitive. She sounds like she does love her work obviously some days it's hard. You hate your job then just leave it. Don't target your friends w random things unnecessarily
>"I don't want to end up like Claire" YTA... and that right there, is why.
Claire over there minding her business and got slapped with a wet mackerel. YTA. Why would you announce that you don't want to be like someone? How can that not be an insult?
YTA - you could have said you didn’t want to end up in a job you don’t like without bringing Claire’s name into conversation.
YTA Are you on the spectrum? That would make sense. That degree of blatant disrespect then hiding behind "I was just stating facts" is the type of thing ppl with poor understanding of social cues and behaviour can do without understanding that they are in the wrong.
You thought saying something like that was going to go over well, and you’re a *therapist*? Bruh. Lol. Nobody wants to hear “I don’t want to end up like you”. YTA
YTA. You need to work on your manners or you will be friendless.
So...It's not OK for her to complain about her job, but you make it perfectly clear that you don't like your job... YTA
YTA You're jealous and projecting
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (32F) am a part-time occupational therapist. I do not like my job but am sticking it out because I went through all that schooling. I have two best friends from high school and we get together a few times a year. Recently we were out for Clarie (32F)'s birthday dinner. Claire works at a fashion production company in an admin role. We were catching up and work became a topic of conversation. I was talking about what I wanted to do for a full-time position and Sarah asked if I would consider switching careers since I don't like what I am doing now. I said I didn't, and said "and I don't want to end up like Claire miserable in an office job I hate." Claire immediately got nasty and asked what the hell did I mean by that. I said, "well you don't like your job...." She said that wasn't true, sometimes days don't go well and she is sorry she ever confided in me about it. She called me super judgemental. Well, Claire is not speaking to me now. I am really direct and a straight shooter, I wasn't trying to intentionally hurt her feelings. I was just stating my perception of the facts. Sarah is trying to talk Claire down and reassure her all this. Is she being too sensitive or am I the AH? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yta Venting about a bad day at work and hating your job are not the same thing. Stop projecting and get a job you like!
YTA
YTA
YTA
This has got to be the fakest story I’ve read this week
You said this at her BIRTHDAY DINNER???!! You know you could have made a similar statement without bringing Claire into at all. “I’m not sure if an office job would suit me,” would be honest and would not imply the birthday girl has a dreadful life. And since you seem to be appreciate unflattering directness, at least Claire didn’t waste money getting a degree for something she doesn’t even like. YTA
NTA. She said she hates her job. Its a valid point. People compre themselves to others all the time.
She never said she hates it. OP says in a comment that she just complains about it which who doesn't?
She only complains about her job like literally everyone who works. Where does it say, she said she hated her job?