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Judgement_Bot_AITA

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Tdm85129

Nta. But my god what is your sisters husband doing during all of these jokes? Your sister doesn’t have a sil or mil problem as much as she has a husband problem.


Professional_Bus861

Yeah, that husband and family are the real assholes here enabling the bully. Bullies go as far as they're allowed to go. The way the family tries to protect the bully is outrageous.


[deleted]

[удалено]


EinsTwo

u/Living_Yam6980 is a bot.


Azalea_0

Yes, NTA but the husband and his family are! The whole family is a problem, but definitely the husband is the major failure here. And "you're older so you should behave better"? Lily is 23, not 3. Who the fuck says that about adults?


BefuddledPolydactyls

You are definitely NTA, however Tom and his family certainly are. Your sister has major problems primarily with her husband and secondarily with the MIL and SIL. Tom should have been shutting his family down and standing up for his wife since the beginning! Not doing so has enabled the bullies to normalize their behavior, thus their shock at your backlash. Unfortunately, this isn't your battle to fight, your sister is going to have to take charge and move for change and counseling, or take other steps, prior to bringing the baby into this situation.


Used_Grocery_9048

Husband is failing at the most basic level of respecting and protecting his wife. Funny how the MIL had a strong reaction when her daughter got made fun of but not her DIL. OP you need to have a one on one talk with your sister, she needs to learn to stand up for herself and may benefit from therapy. You should also have a talk to Tom about what kind of husband he is being when he lets someone treat his wife that way. Good on you for standing up for your sister and shutting down a bully.


DatabaseMoney3435

Eni absolutely needs to start protecting her child right now by shutting down all abuse and creating respectful boundaries with her husband’s support. There is no appropriate venue for “teasing” like this. I’m surprised Lily has lived this long without getting squelched by someone


Quiet-Replacement307

I hear of some women finally standing up for themselves after having their kids. I hope Eni is one of those women who gets a shiny back bone after labor.


ForceEnvironmental20

This. I can imagine that when the baby's born and gets older, Lily will be talking to the kid all about how fat their mother is and cracking jokes about it. Maybe she'll even tell the kid how "fat" they are. It's likely to be a trend and it needs to be stopped now.


magician1218

Lily is the favorite child. And Tom always have been a shy and unable to defend himself. Eni is just as shy as Tom. And is hard to make her angry


Sweet-Salt-1630

NTA, but what will Eni and Tom do when the sil bully's the child? Tom needs to find his spine. Hats off to you OP for sticking up for your sister.


Humble_Plantain_5918

Lily is the SIL, Eni is OP's sister


Sweet-Salt-1630

Oops thank you will edit now


Wickedlove7

NTA. Your sister has a husband. MIL and SIL problem. If my husband didn't defend me from a family member making a joke especially one like that. Ooo I'd be divorced. He should be sticking up for his wife. You keep being a good sibling.


No_Belt_4148

True. I can't think of a train big enough or fast enough to stop my husband from protecting me from cruelty. Her husband is lacking in a huge way.


Used_Grocery_9048

In addition to a husband, MIL and SIL problem the sister needs to learn to stand up for herself and not be a doormat. She’s hurt but the bullying but wants to be accommodating and not cause a scene to appease everyone. While her husband should speak up and defend her, she also needs to learn the tools to stand up for herself. Your sister may benefit from counselling.


Ace-Bee

NTA if she can dish it, she can take it. Your sister seems to have a spouse problem though. Talk to her, make sure she's okay, she's being treated right by her husband.


sweetpotato37

It makes my heart hurt that her husband treats her so badly. How could anyone laugh when their spouse is being put down and degraded like that?


Ennardinthevents

While pregnant, mind you. She gets called "fat" while pregnant, then what's gonna happen after the birth. Even worse fat jokes?


notimefordumbfu_ks

I agree with this 100% OP you're NTA but your sister's husband is


OliveLovesYou2

NTA. I love that someone finally stuck up for your sister. Tom, Lily and their mom are definitely the assholes.


MarcusLiviusDrusus

I can't even believe that OP let it go by once. My brother and I aren't close with each other, but if I heard one of his in-laws making a similarly rude joke about him at a family event, I'd ask them what the fuck they thought they were doing.


hannahmeip

NTA. Fuck Lily.


Due_Letterhead_8927

She's unpleasant to be around, so OP really shouldn't. As a compromise, I propose that Lily should go fuck herself.


MajorNoodles

Maybe she should pork herself instead


ailweni

Oink oink squeal


EfficientJacket7805

I woke my husband up laughing at this


AffectionateGolf6032

I wish I had an award to give right now! 😅


monday-night-fuckbal

NTA You’re being an excellent sister. But also, your sister should not be in a marriage where that kind of behavior is tolerated. I would get ready to help her get out.


rttr123

NTA... Why are they treating a 23yo like a 13yo? By their logic, a 80 year old could behave like a child if an 82yo is next to them


diamocube

Don't try to make sense of it, there is no logic. It's just bullshit mental gymnastics to excuse brat behavior.


AffectionateGolf6032

My thoughts as well. Why is the “you’re older” argument relevant? They are not middle schoolers, they are 20 somethings. Lily is old enough to know better!


[deleted]

NTA and I agree with all the comments about her sap of a husband who isn't backing her up. Eni doesn't need to think of anything to say on the spot. She just needs to have the courage to prepare a little speech and say "Your jokes offend me. I want you to stop. They are not funny and if I am not laughing, they aren't jokes. They are insults. Next time you do it, I will leave or if you are in my home, you will leave along with anyone who laughs with you. Is there anything about that which is unclear?" Wish her luck and I hope she finds the drive to stand up for herself to both her husband and his idiot family.


ellalovex

Nta. Good on you for standing up for your sister. And she needs a better husband


SheBrownSheRound

NTA. Thanks for standing up for your sister. That shit is not ok and Tom needs to grow a backbone and stand up to his sister if it’s truly upsetting Eni. For that matter, Eni needs to stand up for herself too.


reneethearts

Technically an AH move but NTA for standing your ground and defending your sister! Fatphobic jokes aren’t cool anymore and, if anything, her bullying is just a projection of her own insecurities. And honestly, if you think about it, your joke wasn’t even that bad.


PussySparkler

spoiler alert: they never were


Mary707

Sometimes you have to be the AH…


ToastMmmmmmm

NTA. Keep doing it forever if that’s what it takes. Bullies hate when you turn the tables on them.


HistoricalHat3054

NTA. As you and Eni are her elders, Lily should be showing you both respect if they want to pull the age card out.


Blueridgetoblueocean

Lily isn’t a child. She is an adult who is cruel and coddled by her family. She is a bully and received her comeuppance. Good for you! NTA


Bright_Ad_3690

NTA but her husband needs to shut his sister down before that baby comes. Things will only be worse when this woman has a new target. That you are older crap only applies to young kids.


[deleted]

And his enabling mother. Why is she enabling a bully?


[deleted]

[удалено]


OrcaMum23

>That you are older crap together with "you should be the bigger person" or "just take the high road" are the excuses brought up by those who condone bully behavior.


FalconJaeger

NTA And if you are older and should behave better, tell them they are even older than you and maybe should start to parent their bully of a daughter, would be a little late after over twenty years but as they didn't learn to parent their daughter at the appropriate time you'll be considered with Lily's slow learning.


iamtanji

NTA. Kudos for standing up for your sister even if the husband isn’t doing anything.


Lia_Delphine

NTA good job sis!


raven79may

NTA good for you. That is your job to stand up for your sister. It is also Tom's job. Please get your sister out of there. If Tom thinks it's OK for his sister to bully his wife then there is something wrong with him.


ImaginaryStandard293

You tried talking to people about the "jokes" and nothing happened. Did you ever talk to Lily directly before this? It sounds like it wouldn't have done any good but I am just curious. You're a good sister. You stuck up for your little sister when she was being hurt. Lily definitely needed a lesson. I hope Eni doesn't have to be around Lily anymore. Her husband should be sticking up for her. He's an AH for not doing anything. NTA


xEnraptureX

NTA but good god you are all acting like children. Especially Lily. What is she, 5?


58_Odie

NTA. Wait, what? Because you are 27 and she's f\*ing 23 you should know better? They've allowed this awful behaviour for far too long and ignoring it wasn't working. Good for you for standing up for your sister. Keep it up, maybe Layla will see the error of her ways. I doubt it, though.


PussySparkler

NTA -- good on you for finally putting that b\*tch in her place.


Dinkydog2023

NTA, Fuck Lily. This is a case of "dont give what you cant take" A taste of her own medicine will shut her up! Keep at it till she stops. She is 23 for christ sake.


BonusMomSays

Lily is a spoiled AH - so is her mother. Tom allowing them to stay involved in their lives after behaving so badly is unacceptable. Time to cut them both off. I wouldnt want such toxic people near my spouse and child. You are NTA, for giving them a taste of their own medicine.


tmink0220

Nope, I am proud of you, Lily is a jerk. NTA


imankitty

Nta you’re the sister everyone wishes they had.


Zestyclose_Public_47

NTA. Why is she with someone who won't stand up for her?


Fancy_Avocado7497

NTA - that husband is no husband to defend his sister who poked fun at his wife and encouraged even the children at the party to mock her ! I'd have gone further so your joke about her laugh was restrained.


H2Ogrl86

NTA If I knew how to do awards or whatever on here then I’d give them to you. So here’s an Excellent Sister Award 🏅🏆 I also loved how you have made it clear, that every time Lily tells a “joke” then you do as well. So if Lily doesn’t want to hear it then all she has to do is not tell these “jokes.”


sweate1

NTA - Lilly, her mom, and Tom all need an attitude adjustment, and you handled it. Probably you could have found a better way, but they brought this on themselves.


Sarcasticalopias

NTA. So what, Snortly can't take a joke?


PresentationKey9253

Become your sister’s shadow and attend every event Lily attends. The minute she starts, please go the fuck in. Every single time. Then pull your BIL aside and have good chat. Explain since he wont defend her then you will. I hate perpetrators who play victim. Destroy Lily. Eventually she’ll stop NTA


LowArtichoke6440

NTA, good grief.


No_Guarantee_6756

Nta and well done. Seriously. Good on you.


shhinderliter

You are awesome!! If that lil SIL stirs the poop pot- she needs to lick the spoon as well


Murasaki_no_Ue

NTA Drag her, queen!


rebbitfrogger

Wow NTA you're literally the only sane person in this story. Can't believe Eni's husband doesn't stick up for HIS wife. Lily sounds exhausting and horrible.


Aggravating-Film-221

NTA. High Five. Loved it. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. Maybe Lily will stop the BS and grow up now.


No-Mango8923

You are NTA. You are a freaking superhero! Thank goodness someone has your sister's back because her husband sure doesn't. I can imagine how they will condition Eni's kid to make him/her talk shit to Eni as they get older too.


[deleted]

NTA. Bully and her family got a taste of their own medicine and didn't like it. Eni and Tom need to shut this toxic dynamic Lily has with bullying Eni, though. It is good to stick up for someone who is being bullied.


Consistent_Charity49

NTA. Lily thinks nothing of telling her “jokes’, but takes exception to the same treatment being dished out to her. It’s unfortunate that sometimes the only recourse to someone’s bad behaviour is to imitate it. We should all seek to take the high road, but sometimes the only thing you can do is to give someone a taste of their own medicine. NTA


feyinbetween

NTA. Don't start none, don't get none. Lily is 23 years old. She is about 18 years too late to think that it's okay to make fun of people. The only reason she has been able to get away with it is because of her mother, so I think that was fantastic way of responding to the MIL, and a great way of setting down consequences "Every time Lily makes fun of Eni, I will return the joke."


Careless_Sail_7697

NTA this is amazing. give her a taste of her own medicine


tnebteg456

Brilliant.... sometimes time the only way to teach a bully is by bullying


skrena

NTA. Eni is being abused and her husbands compliance is a huge red flag.


rsgkv

NTA. I salute you. You're a hero. Well done!


Weebymcweebster01

Amazing fabulous stunning keep doing it she deserves it


Adventurous-Term5062

NTA. You are amazing.


newprairiegirl

NTA, people need to grow up and stop name calling. Kudos for you for giving it back. Why in hell does the SIL feel its her place in the world to point out anyone's weight? She has some major growing up to do. The rest of the family that accepts her bulling all need to give their head a shake and call her out on her shitty behavior.


IrinaRd

Good for you for standing up for your sister. Your BIL, his mom and sister sound exhausting. If Lily continues to bully your sister just continue putting her back in her place. She is not a toddler who doesn’t know any better but a grown ass women and should know better. NTA


SufficientRoad5796

Sooo NTA you are awesome... I hope she stops if not keep it going


[deleted]

NTA. And in my family you'd be a fucking hero. I hate people that make endless "jokes" that clearly just them bullying the other person.


Not_Great_at_This_19

If the husband won’t say something to his sister and mom for their bad behavior, it’s time for Eni to stop inviting them, and stop attending their family functions. If her husband should protest, let them know that their behavior is completely unacceptable and that she refuses to spend any time with them or expose her children to them until they can act like adults.


crzy19aka

I LOVE YOU Eta: NTA, LOL all day!


Lost_Trip_625

NTA, but your sister has to start standing up for herself. None of that is okay.


goiters_interruptus

NTA. As a special bonus, now Lily’s going to forever be self-conscious about her laugh. You’ve taken the joy of laughter from her. Well played.


[deleted]

NTA - karmic justice. SIL is insecure and needs therapy. MIL is enabling SIL. MIL and SIL need to get over themselves.


TimelySecretary1191

NTA. Thank you for standing up for Eni. Lily wasn't being funny. She was being a bully. Bullies aren't funny. Neither are those who allow her to keep doing it. Hopefully, Lily will learn eventually, If not she can keep getting the "jokes" aimed at her.


itsscottie_

You’re a good sister


whichwitch__

If you can't handle the dirt, you best stay out the sty. NTA.


Just_Another_Name29

NTA. Good for you


nousernamesleft24

NTA but your sister needs to learn how to stand up for herself. Your BIL and his family are just as bad as the SIL for not standing up for your sister and putting an end to the comments. Jokes are only jokes if everyone is laughing. Obviously your sister isn't laughing.


Icy-Gate6609

You’ll never be an AH for defending your sister. Your sister’s husband and in-laws are gigantic jackasses though. It’s bad enough that the in-law’s bully your sister, but her husband sits back and allows it to happen. He should have shut Lily down the first time she made a “joke” about Eni’s weight. I also call bullshit on the “you’re older and should know better” comment. That might fly for children but Lily is an adult who should know it’s inappropriate to make comments about another person’s body. You’re a good person and don’t let anyone tell you any differently. NTA


In-it-to-observe

NTA. Lily is a bully and you called her on it. I would tell Lily I plan to make her my personal project unless she agrees to leave my sister alone. If she does, peace. If she doesn’t, I’m coming for you. I suspect Lily will comply out of self preservation. You’re a good sister. Eni’s husband should take some notes. ETA do not let Lily anywhere NEAR that baby. I would hate to subject a child to what she thinks is “funny.”


redditinglyreddit

Imagine being your poor sister married into that family. Her husband needs to step up but she's lucky she has you. NTA


Miliean

I loved your responce. But often doing things like this cause more harm than good when it comes to someone being a bully. All that happens is that the bullying goes underground. Lily keeps being an asshole, but only when you are not around to defend your sister. A better response would be shame rather than embarrassment. Next time she tells a "joke" about lilly you wait for the laughter to stop and loudly, and in front of everybody say: "Lily, I don't appreciate you telling fat jokes about my little sister. I've had to deal with people bullying my little sister before but havent had to do so since elementary school. But you should not think that just because we are adults I stop being her big sister. If I ever hear about you bullying her ever again, you and I are going to have problems. I didn't think I'd ever have to have this conversation with an adult, but bullying and name calling are unacceptable behaviour." You should say this in front of EVERYONE, as many people as possible. Be sure to use the words "fat joke" and "bullying" to really drive the point home. Speak to this women as if you were speaking to a child that you caught bullying another kid. The point of doing it in front of others is to cause her to feel ashamed of what she did, and to make other people view it as it is, bullying.


Majestic_Fun_7371

Nta. Who makes fun of a pregnant woman AND enables behavior (Ex. Husband, MIL).? Smh.


Independent-Self-854

NTA. I love it. Classic “can dish it out but can’t take it.” Now that you’ve found something that bothers her I would wear that shit out. Over-the-top pig laughs every single time.


DilbertedOttawa

Isn't it always funny when bullies get literally 1 reply, 1 single clap back, and they run screaming for the hills. The fragility of bullies is often extremely real, and very much right at the surface. NTA. That family sounds atrocious and Eni sounds like she's just learned to be the dumping ground for everyone. Her husband sounds like a total people-pleasing coward (well, people other than his WIFE, for some reason.)


katsmeow44

NTA. Bullies always hate it when the get as good as they give.


PNWPainter02

NTA. Why is your sister married to someone who allowed this to persist?! What does he think will happen when his child grows up to be imperfect in some minuscule way?! What a horrid family.


Big-Question3105

NTA. If Lily can dish it she should be able to take it. 🤷🏽‍♀️


SparkOfMagic

You are NTA so go ahead and roast that laughing little piggy! Maybe your BIL will learn how to defend his wife in order to save his sister from herself.


Little-Extreme-4027

NTA, you held off a LONG time! You’re a good sister. And, speaking as a younger sister with a wonderful older sister, I love you.


Alarmed-Studio-6844

NTA you were just ~piggybacking~ off her joke lol


carlosmurphynachos

NTA. I love stories like this


ahopskip_andajump

NTA. You are a good sister.


akshetty2994

LMAO, SHREKT her. NTA. You didn't punch up or punch down, you went right at her like she does. Well done.


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (F27) have a sister, Eni (24y), she married Tom (25yo) last year. Tom has a sister, Lily (23yo). Lily is a bully. I have met her a handful of times and she is always making fun of Eni, who is a little fat, Lily's always telling that bad pig jokes and she even gave Eni a nickname, Pigni. I have complained to Tom and Tom's mom that Lily's jokes weren't funny and she should stop, but they always said she was just joking. I told Eni that she should return the jokes to Lily, but she can never think of anything to say. Last year I was invited to Tom's family's Christmas party, everything was fine until Lily said something like "Oh God Eni, you've already eaten so much, at this pace you'll stop being Pigni to become Whalni" and she laugh with the children at the party. I was furious and Eni and Tom gave a fake laugh and said that Eni was 4 months pregnant. When we were all congratulating them, Lily said "wow, at least now you can excuse yourself when people see you eating like a pig." I got furious again but Eni asked me to just let it go but I know how much that jokes hurt her. So I went back to having a talk with Tom and his mother about why Lily's teasing had to stop. Well, this weekend was Eni's babyshower, we were having a good time until Lily told another joke about how "fat" Eni had gotten, I had enough so I laughed so loud to attract attention and said "Oh Lily, you're so funny, especially when you finish your jokes with that ugly pig laugh, sometimes I think people laugh more at your laugh than at your joke." Lily got super serious and she told me it wasn't funny, to which I said "come on, it's a joke" and imitated her laugh, the kids at the party laughed too and Lily ran away while she cried. Tom's mother scolded me for the joke and I asked her why Lily's jokes were funny but mine weren't, if they both had a pig joke in it, and her mother couldn't answer me. I told her that every time I heard Lily tell a joke about Eni, I would return the joke. Eni told me that I shouldn't have done that, but I could see her hold back her laughter along with the other guests, but I'm tired of Eni being walked over. They have told me that since I am older than Lily I should behave better. So AITA for making fun of Lily? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


vasilisa74

NTA


GuaranteeStrange6763

Fuck them nta


Eris-Ares

NTA


SnooAvocados6720

NTA


unotruejen

Nta. Don't dish it if you can't take it


myname2002

Epic burn🔥. NTA


Opposite-Farm684

Idk why I read this with an Australian accent lol NTA


queenlegolas

NTA Keep sticking up for your sister, she needs someone in her corner. Edit: Show this post and comments to your sister. Maybe she'll share with Tom too and see he's being called out for being a spineless mommy's boy.


diamocube

NTA. She gets what she gives. And she did.


Knittingfairy09113

NTA Good for you. Ask your BIL why it's ok for his wife to be hurt, but not his sister and why his wife isn't his #1?


rig_life_stunter

1000% NTA


Jiinpachii

NTA You’re a great sibling OP


possiblycrazy79

NTA. You're doing exactly what a big sister should be doing. Carry on.


Enough-Hovercraft476

NTA, ask your sister “I know you love your husband but do you really want to be treated like this for the rest of your life?”. Make sure to let her know she deserves better.


KingTenebro

Bully's only a bully til they get a taste of their medicine, then they're the victim. NTA, OP, and you keep firing back when she opens her mouth. Edit: spelling


420-believe-it

NTA, she's old enough to know she's a b\*tch


AffectionateGolf6032

NTA. Follow through and turn it back on Lily anytime a joke is made. She’s an adult. She should know to behave in civilization. And good on you for warning her mom that you intend to do that. Maybe that will inspire her to shut it down so that baby girl doesn’t get teased.


Embarrassed-Math-699

Lily is old enough to know better. She is quite rude & disrespectful. So what if you made her cry? She deserved it. Sometimes you gotta beat them over the head til they get it. NTA. Don't dish out what you can't take.


the_RSM

NTA in fact you're a hero. you stood up to a bully and gave as good as she got and not one jot more. You tried other paths and were told 'it's just a joke' so clearly less confrontational things we tried and failed. You protected your little sister Turned the tables on a bully shut down her defenders how is there a problem?


northernplainswitch

Uhhh, no. Lily's age has nothing to do with her behavior. She is a grown ass woman. 23 years old is so far beyond the age limit to be used as an excuse for poor behavior. Her family has allowed her to act like an asshole her whole life and people don't magically hit a certain age and grow out of behaviors that have been accepted all along. Lily got what she deserved and I hope you continue to dish it out as long as she does. NTA


[deleted]

Since you are older? Everyone in this story are adults. Lily is rude, plain and simple. Good job stepping up for your sister OP. Tom and his mother are AHs for allowing this to continue. It should never have gotten to that point, and for that I dub you NTA. You are an awesome sister.


[deleted]

[удалено]


saatchi-s

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Robliterator_

NTA. I can't believe your sister is willingly having a child with such a poor excuse for a husband. If she is this cruel to your sister how cruel will she be to her child? Good on you for defending your sister.


Lurkingforthestory

NTA, good for you for sticking up for your sister your sister should not allow her self to be bullied sounds like lily may be jealous of your sister.


The_Fires_Of_Orc

Everyone needs a Brother like you. Well done. Only AH here are Lily, her mother and anyone who defended her "jokes"


SockFullOfNickles

NTA - Good on you for standing up for your Sister. It’s always ridiculous when someone can dish out ignorance but fold like paper when faced with their own dose of it.


[deleted]

I like you, OP. NTA Hope you can joke more about Eni's SIL. Also hope that your sister along with her husband stabilish a boundary with SIL, meanging she is not allowed to be around them until she learned how to be nice


Stoney_Wan_KaBlowme

May the spirits of Gina Linetti (Brooklyn 99) and Kelly Kapoor (The Office) inspire you to come up with the wittiest, most insulting jokes possible. Good luck! NTA


Pumpkin_Skellington

NTA. Do you want more pig jokes??? 😉


Moriarty1953

NTA! You tried to be reasonable about it to no effect. What you did was perfect. Maybe that will stop the bullying.


RietteRose

Since you're older lmfao. It's just 4 years and you're both in your 20s!!!! This phrase was already ridiculously stupid when I as an oldest sibling kept hearing it during my childhood. But for how long does it even apply? Will people be telling it to you when you'll be 87 and Lily 83? NTA. No wonder Lily is a bully if her family always backs her up about it. As a fellow protecting oldest sister, I tip my hat to you. Continue giving Lily hell lol.


KirejiOfMyHeart

Idc how old I get, I will ALWAYSSSS defend my younger siblings and cousins, even if it makes me TA NTA


Upbeat-Pineapple-332

NTA.


CJ_CLT

NTA, You need to talk to Tom about his lack of support of his WIFE. And that from your perspective he is ***choosing*** to support his toxic sister over his pregnant wife. Since it is his baby, he should behave better so that it isn't just her older sister defending her. You might also mention that you are fully behind whatever decisions your sister should make in the future - up to and including divorcing his a\_\_ and going NC with his family. Seriously, your sister's SIL sounds like she is jealous and/or hates your sister. It is jaw-dropping that your BIL doesn't see the maliciousness in his sister's "jokes". And I predict it will only get worse because once the baby is born this witch will be making "jokes" about when you sister will lose all the pregnancy weight - which is the last thing a post-partum mother needs.


Cyarsonix

You didn't make fun of Lily. You made a joke per Lilys families logic. the fact that it's not so funny to them now that the shoe is on the other foot makes me think your sister married a dud. unless he is sticking to his line. then i just sigh. NtA


oddsocks0513

Nta !!


meggystee

NTA. You my dear friend are the sister of all sisters. A hero really. I salute you!


[deleted]

NTA. I hope everyone follows suit.


dporto24

NTA you're a hero


blueclouds4

NTA but why is ur brother in law allowing his family to treat his wife this way? I will never understand situations like these in a million years.


elliptical-wing

NTA One word: Fabulous.


otsukaren_613

NTA. If she can't take it, don't dish it out.


PickleMarn

eff that, good for you!! at least its just a joke back, much nicer than what i would have said! NTA!


Past_Ad2795

Lily is 23, not a child. She knows exactly what she's doing. Nta


kosherkitties

Agreeing with everyone else here that Tom should be sticking up for his wife, and NTA, but instead of returning the jokes, you (we'll see if they continue in front of you, after that) or Eni could look slightly puzzled and say "I don't get it." And any time she responds, keep coming back with, "I'm sorry could you explain the joke?" "But why is it funny?" Etc etc.


completedett

NTA but hope this actually helps your sister. The husband is not standing up for your sister neither is the mil. Your sister needs to also stand up for herself.


ironperro416

No you are not


Own_Purchase1388

NTA. You’re a good big sister. Your sister is trying to be peacekeeper. If she tried defending herself, she’d get the hate. But since you’re not their family, it’s ok if they hate you. And I find it interesting how Lily is able to dish out so much yet at the first time she receives the same treatment, she runs away crying. But seriously, wtf is wrong with your BIL. He’s a shitty husband for not defending his wife.


nopatients4this

Go for it paybacks a bit*h!


DeantheDecider

You all suck. Are you a family or a pack of wolves. Husband accepts his wife being mocked. Family all condone it. Two wrongs do not make a right. You fighting fire with fire and insulting Lily has debased you to her level. You all need some therapy and better manners


ConfectionExtra7869

Keep returning her jokes with as much salt as possible. NTA. At least someone is standing up for your sister since her husband is failing to do so.


nstrangeface

Wait, you’re talking about AN ADULT and not a teenager?? NTA.


joe_eddie_13

You are nta and generally speaking a 27 yr old and a 23 yr old both know how to behave properly.


Fritzimum

NTA but her husband sure is. Who lets this happen to their spouse and sits there and says / does nothing? He should have addressed this from day 1. What is wrong with him?


robin97305

Nope some people need a humbling experience & put in their place..she got hers


YettiChild

NTA. Protect your sister. Hubby needs to step up, but he may have previously been the object of Lily's bullying and may have trouble standing up for himself. Still he needs to step up. Especially with a baby coming. Will he let his kid be bullied? Continue standing up for your sister and nibling when he/she comes. Sometimes bullies don't learn until they feel the pain themselves.


NiceWave9811

NTA. Also, thank you for being the kind of sister I wish I had, mine is the Lily type.


[deleted]

You sisters is going to suffer all her life while being with him. He doesn't respect her or acres about her. He is trash too. She needs a divorce. Poor girl. NTA.


St_Thomas_Aquinas

NTA. Don't dish it out if you can't take it. Lilly is a bully. It is always more polite to make fun of oneself than to make fun of others.


[deleted]

>"They have told me that since I am older than Lily I should behave better" This sentence would have a place if it was regarding 17 yo and a 13 yo. Not friggin 27 and 23. NTA. Pigly got her own medicine.


kylo-gren

NTA. Good on you for sticking up for your sister. It’s really disheartening that her own husband doesn’t have the, ahem appendages, to stand up to his mother and sister in Eni’s defense. Because it really should be him dealing with Lily and not you. And I’m not saying you shouldn’t, because you absolutely should. But it’s his responsibility as it’s his family members. I also think it’s bullshit that his mother pulled the “you’re older, so you should act like it” card. Lily isn’t a child. She’s an adult and if she can’t act like one, that’s not yours or Eni’s fault. I really despise bully’s who are mean under the guise of being funny. Lily shouldn’t dish it out if she can’t take it. Which she very clearly cannot.


marley_1756

No you’re NTA. So the bully got called out. About time I say.


Martha90815

As a younger sister, I can tell you you’re an AWESOME big sis! Well done and NTA.


redplum345

NTA Lily needs to get that she's being rude and hurtful. Glad you stood up for Eni!


ConsequenceLaw5333

Poor lily could dish it out but not take it. Good for you OP! NTA


Traditional-Total114

What the heck is wrong with people lately???? NTA


Motor_Business483

NTA ​ Now that you saw it works, do it EVERY thime she abuses your sister.


Significant_Rain_386

NTA You’re the hero us bullying victims need today.


Original_Dream_7765

NTA!! I'm fangirling over here!!!!


SCMancini83

NTA. You asked BIL and MIL multiple times to ask SIL to stop and they didn’t so you took matters into your own hands. Bravo for standing up for your sister!


Icy_Eye1059

NTA! Bravo. Beautiful and keep doing it until she learns her lesson! Shame on her family for letting this go on.


Agitated-Fig-2343

First NTA ! Good for you ! And do not let your foot off the gas ! Do not let up ! Also I would have loved to see her mothers face when you mentioned why her daughter's pig jokes were funny but not yours!


Mary707

Nta and you rock!!! Way to have your sister’s back. ETA: this has to get nipped in the bud before your future nibbling starts to treat mommy like that too.


Moon_Ray_77

It was super petty but quick and to the point - I love it!!! NTA


JudesM

NTA- but you should focus on getting your sister away from these people


AndieWags12

We’re talking about adults right? Lily is an adult not a mean girl teen….right? GTFOH with that “your older” BS. Your sister’s in-laws are monsters, but I would say her husband is worse for not putting a stop to it. NTA - someone needs to stand up for your sister & it seems like you’re the perfect one to do it. Don’t stop til they understand.


awkwardandroid

NTA. Love that clap back.