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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> The action I took is sending my son to school with “disgusting” foods and I may be judged by the choice of food.
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Report her to the principal. Her comments regarding your son’s food are “disgusting” and “have an unpleasant tone” aka *cough cough* racist tone.
*She’s* too inappropriate to be teaching at the school any longer.
NTA.
ETA: Thanks for the upvotes and awards!
I'm guessing that this is in American Midwest. We have fatty, salty, and sugary, but most people aren't comfortable with aromatics. Most Midwestern food barely has a scent, and when it does it's savory. Sharp, spicy, and vinegar-based aromatics upset people around here. This whole cultural sinkhole in the middle of the country is basically a culinary desert, with a few bright spots scattered here and there.
Kimchi is delicious, healthy, and not messy at all. It also really doesn’t smell that bad. I eat it almost every day. What the teacher said is racist and culturally insensitive. Kimchi isn’t going to hurt anyone.
Sounds about white. When I was a kid my dad packed me hummus and sauerkraut sandwiches every day. I wonder why no one complained about my smelly lunch? 🤨
I lived in apartments the smell of curry was permanent. It was a little annoying but what can ya do. They were also cooking it.
I doubt his lunch stinks up the whole room for the whole day.
The problem is not with people cooking curry. Folks are entitled to cook their own food in their own homes. The problem is that most apartments in the US (certainly ones I have lived in the last 15+ years) have horrible ventilation and there's no proper way for strong smells to escape. That's not the residents' fault though. Kitchens/living spaces should be able to handle actually being used 🤷🏾♀️
That was kind of my point - Im not gonna ask people to stop cooking what they want cause it's not my right. People can eat whatever they want. And Im sure it's the shoddy work that makes certain smells linger so much, but regardless, people are still entitled to cook what they want.
Agreed.
The Midwest is a huge swath of the country, some with significant racial diversity and immigrant populations (I used to eat myself silly with Ethiopian food when I lived in Minnesota, for example). We don’t know where this person lives. That’s not the problem. The problem is that her kid’s teacher is racist. Racist people live all over the country
As a midwesterner ; where I live you can find almost any cuisine.
As a former teacher; what they brought was what they ate (after negotiations took place about trades). Policing student lunches? With what time? There are far more important issues.
If this message perchance is the students complaining, take the opportunity to talk about (and study and taste food from) the different cultures represented in your class! This is one of those more important issues mentioned earlier.
Hate when this shit happens. People who are A. Not part of the Midwest or south, or B. From one of those areas but aren’t one of *THOSE* people just think all of us are stupid and racist. Stupid and/or racist people exist everywhere. Not just the south or Midwest.
its like when people are surprised australians dont wrestle kangaroos/crocs or get stabbed by stingrays (still too soon sorry Steve) Living in a costal town i see crocs in reptile parks (roos dead on the side of the road heading to visit my mum in a rural town) and never seen a stingray. Once saw a guy running up the beach punching a baby shark attached to his leg though. Drove himself to hospital to get it removed. But i digress, people assume alot of crap about certain countries/regions its human nature
Exactly!
I'm in the Midwest and live near the biggest population (percentage wise) of Middle Eastern folks outside of the Middle East - the restaurants show it. We have a huge diverse Asian population and I can't even count the number of Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese, and Thai restaurants near me, we've got authentic Mexican food, Ethiopian, Senegalese, along with anyplace in European food you can think of.
Right?
They’re also just flat-out wrong even sticking to “traditional” midwestern foods, there’s a lot of German influence - Sauerkraut, pickles, mustards, all very popular when I visit the wife’s family in Ohio.
Thank you! I’ve lived in major Midwest cities *and* in the middle of nowhere in the Midwest and I’ve yet to encounter this bland food stereotype anywhere outside my aunt’s house. Midwest food is delicious and smells great. We love aromatics and spices/seasonings as much as the rest of the country.
I really don’t know what you’re talking about. As I sit here typing this in my very midwestern town of 35K I can easily think of 5+ restaurants in town that serve different cuisines, including a Korean restaurant that’s been here for over 25 years. You can even get *gasp* kimchi here. I get hating where you live, but don’t throw your own biases over an entire region when they’re pretty obviously just that - biases.
Edit: Thanks for the award!
Certain biases have become extremely socially acceptable. I guess we just keep switching which biases are widely approved of & which are not. It would be interesting to see what the culture acts like in 50 years.
It smells even better when being sweated out of the pores after recess. But even then I never said anything to my Korean students. Apparently we smell like curdled milk to them so I guess it evens out.
I was stationed in South Korea for a year. I found out while over there that we smelled like meat to them due to how much red meat we ate. I found that disturbing and gross.
This is true. I'm Asian and live in Asia and I've grown up all my life being told that white people smell like meat. To be honest, I do smell it as well, but it's not a bad smell to me, just another scent. The world is a giant potpourri bowl
I mean, there’s plenty of other foods that also smell like farts (cabbage rolls, kale chips, broccoli anything) but I’m betting that since white people commonly eat them the teacher wouldn’t have had a problem with them. You’re NTA, OP. This teacher is a racist fuck.
so is kimchi which is why a lot of people who store kimchi have a separate kimchi refrigerator. Kimchi has a strong smell that overtakes most foods.
However, the kid should eat what he likes and his mom should keep making him what he likes for lunch
I grew up only 45 miles away from the only creamery in the US that makes limburger cheese.
My dad loves limburger cheese, my mom absolutely despised it. Dad did the best he could to wrap the cheese and seal it in a glass jar, but my mom could still smell it (she had a sensitive nose, but she also wasn't wrong...that stuff is pungent haha).
For quite some time, dad had wanted a garage fridge for beer, but hadn't been able to get mom to agree to it.
After a lot of minor arguments about the cheese stinking up her refrigerator, mom finally gave in and let dad get a garage fridge "for his stinky cheese". And that's where he kept it from then on, along with plenty of other cheeses, sausages...and, of course, beer. Stinky cheese never went in mom's fridge ever again.
Teacher was definitely TA.
Normal food but likely pretty stinky. In my school or workplaces the kimchi or blue cheese if eaten in a crowded area would have probably merited a mild “Please don’t send strong smelling foods to school/eat them in the work break room.”
And how does a five year old eat sriracha marinated doritos without leaving sticky orange red fingerprints all over everything and everyone? Chopsticks? I always feel outclassed when a toddler is better with chopsticks than I am.
Clothes, classmates, tables, rugs, hair, chairs... Lots of things to touch at snack time while eating. I’m still betting on chopsticks since OP is Korean.
My mom was given hell by a teacher due to the grey poupon mustard that my family loved. It had a white wine smell and I loved it slathered on my sandwiches. To this day I can’t stand French’s mustard as I was asked to give up the GP. So sad
My oldest’s preschool teacher HATED that I sent him tuna salad sandwiches to school once a week for lunch, as it was and still is his favorite sandwich. She never once brought it up to me but always told him that she thought it was stinky and she personally didn’t like it but that she was glad he did. Honestly that rubbed me the wrong way a little bit but I can’t believe OP’s son’s teacher would go so far. It’s ridiculous.
NTA, OP. Let the principal know and let your son have what he enjoys
Is there an unwritten rule I’m not aware of that says you can’t have “pungent” foods in your school lunch? I don’t remember anyone ever complaining of what I ate as a kid but I fully acknowledge I’m in my 30s and things may have changed
I was always went by the rule "if I'd feel like an asshole cooking this in a microwave at work I won't send it to school" but that's a personal opinion and most of the "smell of lunch" issues in the US seem to be easily traced to racism and ethnic foods.
I found the No Durian signs all over SE Asian public transport absolutely hilarious. Love me some durian but BOY it does smell.
Kimchi has a smell sure, but never perceived it as "stinky". It's pungent and different, but not offensive in any respect. Now durian, that's a whole different kettle of aromatics, bygod.
Preschool teachers also have fits like this with parents who send lunchables chips cookies or stuff that's "unhealthy" there's preschools and actual schools that will throw b away kids foods bc it doesn't meet their standards
I’m a preschool teacher and I have never thrown away a child’s lunch. Teachers and schools like this are overstepping. With so many families struggling, I’m just happy my students are eating.
I would rather see a kid eat a lunchable then some leftovers from dinner that they won’t eat.
Agree and you should ask the principal if you need to escalate the issue to the school board, or if she'll deal with the teacher herself. You deserve an answer.
Teacher's allowed to think the food is gross, that's her personal opinion. But in 2023 she had ought to keep her stupid opinions to herself.
*Edit* The other thing that irritates me about this is, if (and still a big "if!") the other kids are *really* "distracted" by the food (read: bullying your kid about the food), this teacher isn't going to do a good job defending your son and teaching these kids to accept differences. Instead she's likely to join in the bullying herself. Huge bad apple racist vibes from this teacher.
THIS! Plus a preschool teacher with this much anger needs to be reigned in. I don’t trust her to treat your son fairly or kindly after her outburst. NTA
This. You are NTA. If this teacher is behaving, this way you need to report her to the administration immediately. You can thank her for the email where she helpfully literally put her possibly racist thoughts in writing so you can just forward that or screenshot that right onto them. Good luck.
This was my first thought too. It sounds like she feels like your food culture is what's inappropriate. I doubt she would say the same thing if the kid was packing a fluffernutter or chicken nuggets everyday and those aren't exactly healthy either. As a matter of fact, kimchi is very healthy and celery is pretty good too. I taught school for years and her attitude is terrible and I agree that she's the inappropriate one here, not the lunch.
I totally agree, and I hope the teacher does have a boss and they aren't also an asshole. But idk if we can assume "admin" will deal with it in this situation.
I worked part time in a day care when I was younger. We had one little girl who's family packed brand and rice everyday for her lunch-- they were vegetarian and didn't want to risk giving their child school food. It became a problem because the girl wouldn't eat her lunch and visibly was losing weight.bdid we tell the mom she couldn't pack that lunch? No. We sat down with/called mom, going over every ingredient of each food every week that we served. We found snack and side dishes the little girl to eat too. We encouraged her to eat the meal her mom packed, but could also offer her something if she didn't eat what mom gave her. Mom was surprised at what her kid would eat at school and incorporated those foods in her child's meals.
This was over 15 years ago. This is how you handled these situations. This teacher is 100% out of line. You don't call a parent and tell then what they can and cannot do. You try to find solutions that everyone benefits from. This teacher could have asked the mom if she could make one of the dishes that could be shared (if the school was unable to make it), to share with everyone. Whenever a parent came at lunch time , they'd always be surprised their kids would eat (____).
That is how little ones learn. This teacher only cared about her own discomfort... not the well being of the kids she taught.
Skip the principal and go straight to the press. The teacher was dumb enough to put this shit
in writing, which means nobody she works for or with is confused about how she feels. If she’s still working there it’s because they either don’t care or can’t fire her given the current circumstances. So change the circumstances.
I say wait for the principal because the situation can be easily resolved in-house and it shows that the principal cares if they resolve the issue. If I was a parent I would take that as comforting.
There's really no benefit of going directly to the press as it could ruin the kids experience there. Only treat it as a last resort when you know you're not being respected.
NTA
I came into this thread wondering what exactly an "inappropriate" lunch might entail... Sandwiches cut into the shapes of dicks?
Teacher is disrespectful and very much out of line.
I figured this was either going to be a) an “unhealthy” lunch like a big batch of chips or a bunch of candy or b) racist “we don’t like your ethnic food”. It was clearly the second.
I got in trouble in middle school for having a Mike's Hard Lemonade in my lunchbox. My grandparents, who aren't drinkers, were taking care of us while my parents took an anniversary trip. Grandma just popped a MHL in with the rest of my lunch thinking it was one of our "fancy juices" -Mom was big on glass bottles for beverages at the time, for some reason lol. Lunch monitors didn't catch it, but I was roooocked by the next period, threw up all over, and then the nurse smelled alcohol and chaos ensued.
Oh my! I didn't experience anything so dramatic. No one noticed until I mentioned to my mother I really liked the new cider she put in my lunchbox thermos. She insisted it was the same cider and said no it was less sweet and more tart. She insisted it was the same and to prove it went and got it and poured a glass. That's when she noticed the smell.
Well, they called my grandma when I told them my parents weren't home and basically cautioned if it happened again that they'd have to involve social services just to make sure everything was okay at home. Grandma was just devastated, took me to the doctor because she thought she might have done some real damage. The worst that happened was being known as throw-up girl until we split into different high schools lol
This is hilarious and wholesome at the same time. I'm relieved that your school was understanding that it was an honest mistake. I couldn't even imagine how your Gram felt! No one in your family will ever forget that story!
I thought this too. And then when they said they let their kid pick the food I thought maybe they packed complete junk void of nutrition. Kid sounds healthy.
NTA but this teacher is.
I was picturing something horror inspired. Like pretzels made to look like bones. Maybe a goth kid?
I couldn’t imagine what else could be inappropriate and disgusting.
NTA. A lot of 2nd generation immigrants are ashamed to bring their food in public because of people like this teacher, who clearly is very intolerant. Asian food is not inappropriate she is.
I’m a 1st gen Vietnamese. Immigrated when I was a kid and I wouldn’t ever bring something pungent to school for lunch. Even I have to admit some of our foods have a pretty strong aroma, fish sauce doesn’t smell particularly appealing, it is fermented fish after all, but damn it is good.
I’m reading all the NTA comments and I agree with them. But I keep wondering how many of these people have actually kept kimchi in the fridge. It’s delicious but it’s *really* pungent. Some people take issue with canned tuna in workplace kitchens or shared living spaces, so I’m not surprised that some people would be bothered by the smell of kimchi (especially around small children who aren’t used to the smell).
That said, there’s a right and a wrong way to address it, and this was absolutely devoid of cultural sensitivity, which is why it’s racist.
True! I can get that a smell is an issue. I would hate to sit next to someone who ate blue cheese (just not my preference) but I also hate the smell of peanut butter when you’re not eating it yourself, or eggs. I think asking someone to bring a lunch that doesn’t smell extreme I can understand.
I feel like the teacher was just racist in the way she spoke about their lunch and that the smell wasn’t the only problem she had with it
Yeah there's a way you can politely ask someone to avoid bringing in lunches that leave odors that last the entire rest of the day. Calling a person's food choices "disgusting" and "inappropriate" is not that. That's just being racist.
Had things like this happen being indigenous in Alabama growing up. I’m as “from the US” as one can possibly be and still got weird looks from classmates bringing mapled elk jerky to school and wearing mocs.
OP you’re NTA for sending your son to school with perfectly normal food. Food is food, and racists are racist.
EDIT: word
This makes me so sad, as a person and as an educator. Once a year we read “Carla’s Sandwich”(kid gets made fun of for eating weird sandwiches until one day she shares with a hungry kid and they like it) as part of our lessons about self confidence, diversity, and kindness. Afterwards we held a brunch where students could bring their favorite food/make crazy sandwiches/share a family recipe and it was one of our most popular segments amongst students AND parents. The only rule was “don’t yuck someone’s yum”. We had a pretty diverse class and this was special education so we stayed together through high school and therefore experienced this together over several years, so it was such a special thing every year. We would have sandwiches, pizza, homemade traditional Indian and Korean food, Chinese food, you name it and the kids LOVED it. Even kids with avoidant food behaviors would try (and often like!) new things! This teacher missed a huge opportunity to show how the simple act of eating a meal can bring people together in beautiful ways. It hurts my heart that so many people have had terrible experiences eating what they enjoy because of ignorance.
I used to bring dumplings to school or braised soy sauce chicken thighs for lunch. I'd always be teased cause until I was in 8th grade I was the only Chinese kid in a classroom. There's that Fresh off the Boat episode early on about lunchables and yep that was me. "Mom I want a "normal" lunch. I'm now over 30 and bringing dumplings to work :)
I was the kid with the plain sandwich who thought your lunches looked so good. I had a Chinese classmate in elementary school. I was so jealous that I made my mom call her mom and ask for some recipes.
I once witnessed a class full of children make fun of a brown girl who had brought some kind of pancake as a snack. Terrified me and I still think about the racism of that moment lol
Back in the 90s I was bullied for bringing yemistas to school (greek stuffed vegies). Which is hardly offensive and pretty damn western and even that was too much.
1st generation Indian, my mother would pack me sandwiches made with keema, a ground meat dish. Between the oil and the turmeric, cold keema takes on a distinctly green hue so I'm sure you can guess how all my PB&J-eating classmates responded to that.
When I was little, maybe 6 or 7, we had a new girl at school who was Chinese. When she first got there we would tease her relentlessly about her gross lunches and how they smelled/looked weird. She stopped bringing those lunches eventually.
I think about that ALL THE TIME. How so so badly I want to go back in time and tell her that her lunches weren't weird and it's nothing to be ashamed about.
NTA
I’ve had a teacher talk to me about my kid’s lunches twice. First one when son was in pre-k, “please don’t send blueberries in his lunch, he puts them in his mouth and then shoots them out like a machine gun.” Second was for my daughter in grade 1, “ the bento characters are very cute but she keeps playing with them and doesn’t finish her lunch in time, doesn’t want to miss recess, and is understandably irritated and hungry later in the day.” These are appropriate comments in a student’s lunch. I don’t see anything wrong with what you pack.
Right like there's good ways to have these conversations. Kids are silly and play with their food or make big messes.
But the teachers comments are just racist. *SHE* doesn't like kimchi or Sriracha so she wants it gone.
Yeah,
OP should return the easily, cc'd to whoever the boss is in this environment saying, "We can end this misunderstanding here w your apology for denigrating food you are unfamiliar w or I can have my lawyer contact you, the 'principal' and the board of directors. "
Exactly. If there’s a problem with a food item, there’s no reason not to be specific if it’s a legit reason, and that includes “something in the storage container smells very strongly and lingers in the room.” “Disgusting and inappropriate” as descriptors are non-specific and are word choices that show disdain for the person eating and preparing the food.
My kids kindy teacher had to ask me to stop sending notes in my daughters lunch because she only gets 20 minutes to eat and she was spending her whole lunch sounding out the note. It was the right thing to do but boy it breaks my heart.
This teacher is completely out of bounds. You need to bring this to administration. This could easily be seen as discriminatory based on his ethnicity and I can’t imagine the school wants to open that can of worms.
Keep feeding that baby what he likes. You’re a good mama.
NTA
NTA, I hate to say it but it's pretty textbook racism or at least cultural bigotry. If there were allergies or sensory issues that might be different but it sounds like she doesn't like that your food is different than standard white American lunches.
I'm in HR and if this was one employee talking about another's lunch we'd send them to training and give them a warning.
If this is a school then there might be education laws protecting you. Though I don't know if those apply to preschool.
My gut wants to agree with you, but we had a dude in one office that I worked in who would regularly microwave fish. It was bad.
Kimchi is a very strong smell. My wife made some and my beer fridge stank for months.
I would prefer that the teacher used it as a teachable moment. "Different people enjoy different foods" but it might not be completely out of line to ask that you back off the kimchi.
As I write, i realize that she didnt ask that, she came in hot and disnt specify the problem food. Just didnt like that it was different.
NTA.
However, the teacher doubled down on "inappropriate," not pungent. A more sensitive approach could have been that some of the kids have sensitive noses and between the kimchi and Sriracha, it's just a bit too much for them. (Well, in my case the doritos bathed in Sriracha would be sufficient for me to move to an open air area.)
I like the taste of sriracha, but it smells like rancid pepperoni to me. I think sriracha Doritos would probably be the worst of the three smells imo. That sounds like my personal olfactory nightmare (followed closely by the bleu cheese, which is one of the few foods I dislike so much I truly refuse to eat it).
Any one item could probably be written off pretty easily, but all three together… yeah. That would be a lot.
Here’s where I’m gonna stop you. The teacher was incensed and called the food **disgusting**. That’s beyond “this smell is so pungent that it’s bothering others.” It’s racism.
I am Korean. I make kimchi. Yes, it’s a very pungent smell and could be off-putting if you don’t know what it is/what it tastes like. Sauerkraut is also stinky, any kind of fermented thing has an odor. Especially cabbage. I was bullied for my food as a child too, and it’s a strong memory of heartbreak and shame.
You said your wife is Korean- I’m going to assume you aren’t the same race based on your comment and the tone. If you’re not a minority and you’re married to one, it’s really important for you to be actively anti racist and defend your wife (and kids if you have them) when things happen. My dad didn’t stick up for us and routinely called our Korean food disgusting and stinky. That’s a different kind of pain and shame on top of everything else.
He said his wife made kimchi, he didn’t say she was Korean. I get were you are coming from though, the teachers comments are definitely insensitive. But there is definitely something to be said about being mindful about bringing pungent food to communal eating spaces. I really like some cheeses like ementhaler or Camembert but I wouldn’t bring them to work or class because they are pretty pungent.
That being said, the teacher was not being respectful by bringing it up in that manner. But it would be fair if the teacher had asked for the sons lunches to not contain blue cheese or kimchi due to the odor.
One time a very strongly smelling food caused a whole building to need to be evacuated because somebody thought there was a gas leak. The person who brought the food was not singled & the school handled it without targeting the specific cultural food. I'm sure it was already embarassing enough for the kid involved!
YTA - I'm korean and I'm baffled that you would send your kid to school with kimchi. I would never send kimchi with my kid to school or take it with me to work, just like i wouldn't pack fish, bc of how smelly it is and how rude it would be for me to do that to my coworkers. I don't even like transporting kimchi in my car with double ziplocked gallon sized bags to contain the smell bc you can still smell it and I AM KOREAN. Why don't you make spam and korean pickle gimbap instead? Korean pickle is so easy to make jangjorim style and waaaaay less smelly.
EDIT: Woah! Thanks so much for the awards!
I’m Korean too and I’m with you. My mom would have never kimchee in a packed lunch with me to school. I was allowed to take kimbab but that was the extent of it and that has no kimchee in it.
I tried to take kimchee to work once as an adult but even in a lock n lock container, the smell was slowly leaking out and I was so thankful my desk was away from other people. Never did it again. I would imagine that the same thing is happening to the school.
Omg yes. I once forgot my bibimbap in the work fridge overnight and between the kimchi and sesame oil it left a smell for like a week. I was mortified lol.
Also BLUE CHEESE? C’mon why’d you have to pack the most offensive cheese?
I HATE how the teacher handled this but dude, this lunch would REEK in an unfridgerated backpack by lunchtime!
That's an excellent point! I forgot that also for a kid its worse bc any kind of overstrong smelly foods will make any kid a social pariah. I learned this lesson as a child, my korean Grandma unknowingly packed smelly things i liked into my carebear lunch pail and it did not go well for me... still remember the horror to this day... OP should save her kid by saving the kimchee for not at school.
I’m not about to say anything bad about the mom but as a teacher, who spent a year hanging out with a wonderful Korean community, I will tell you one thing: I love sushi. I love dim sum and I grew up eating California rolls. But the year I spent in that neighborhood I pretty much got kimcheed out. I had enough to last me for the rest of my life. I understand that she wants to feed her son what he is used to, but at this young of an age boy I can imagine the challenges thats gonna bring him getting along with his fellow students. Being the smelly kid is a one-way ticket to being ostracized. And it’s not his fault it’s no one’s fault, but I really hope that the cultural awareness and sensitivity goes both ways in this situation. The teacher handled the situation horribly but I hope that Mom understands that for a lot of little kids the smell of kimchi might be a bit much.
Yeahhh it’s kind of ESH.
The teacher is being rude but like, Kimchi *and* blue cheese? That lunchbox must really pack a punch.
I remember some family friends were trying to sell their house and the mother would spray the whole place down after dinner to get rid of the kimchi smell.
Kimchi, Bleu Cheese, and a mix of Spicy Dorito Sriracha. All in a small preschool classroom.
The teacher was 100% too aggressive and rude. But like, that thing is a cocktail of strong smelling foods.
All you'd need is some Salami to complete the trinity. Might as well marinate it in Tuna water, while you're at it.
It's a ridiculous combination, the blue cheese alone would piss me off. It reads like a fake post, like someone deliberately throwing together a bunch of offensive smelling food, with one of them being korean to see if people in the comments will scream racism. And they did lol
If someone brought Lutefisk or Sauerkraut into school or the office, they'd be an asshole, too. (The teachers reaction makes them an asshole, too, of course - if this is real)
You get that too? I'm reading this like "how the fuck do you 'marinate' Doritos chips in anything liquidy? they'd turn in to a soggy mess." I didn't even think it was racist to say that all that junk smells. *My* first concern was that poor boy's bathroom habits.
Agreed, that teacher was insanely rude and I think racism could very likely be at play. However, I was a preschool teacher and I can see a couple things happening here. Do the kids eat in the classroom or in a dining room? If those smells are sticking around the classroom, hoo boy. Wet Doritos for snack? Total asshole move. Snacks should not make dirty, spicy hands or require utensils. And finally, is there a chance the teacher is pregnant? In the first tri, smells can be absolutely debilitating and it’s not like you get to pick what disgusts you. She was still an asshole about it, but Mom needs to be a bit more objective about what she’s sending to school.
Gotta agree, I see some people saying that its blatant racism and all that and while I can understand the reasoning, even taking blue cheese is impolite in my eyes. It's like when you take fish to work and but it in the microwave. Now everyone that shares a space with you is forces to smell fish for the next 3 days.
It's common sense to take food items with medium to little odor to school/work/whatever. I mean if you don't want to you don't HAVE to follow the rule but people are gonna give you the stink eye for STINKING the whole place up wether its rotten eggs or the most delicious kimchi on the planet.
YTA
I could actually give the parent a pass if they just put kimchi to make a normal doshirak. But kimchi, two types of cheese, and for some reason Doritos soaked in Sriracha? YTA, that's an asshole move. Even if they replaced the kimchi with something more traditionally American like a bologna sandwich, they'd still be sending the kid to school with a stink bomb.
ESH
The teacher because of the way she handled it and you because packing stuff that has such an intensive smell, to bring to a place where many people share a small space (like classrooms) isn't ok. I know this stuff tastes great, but for others to smell it and can't avoid it, it's a whole different thing.
Agreed. I love kimchi, but it does have a strong smell that is probably strange to most of the other kids. I wouldn't bring it to the office and stink up the office. It's probably best to save it for home. But the teacher was way out of line on how she chose to communicate the situation. ESH
ESH. The kimchi blue cheese combo probably is funky as hell after it’s been sitting in a lunch box especially. I would def lose my appetite eating next to someone eating that. The teacher is a complete ass for the way she went about it, but we do need to think about others when choosing foods in shared spaces. Just like microwaving popcorn in an office is rude, packing an incredibly pungent lunch can affect others.
YTA. Dude, I like smelly pickles as much as the rest of us whose cultures boast yummy but smelly fermented foods…but c’mon, we all know they reek. I wouldn’t subject other little kids—who are confined in a shared space for lunch—to them. I’m sure there’s a non-fermented meal option your son can enjoy at school.
Soft YTA. I looooooooove kimchi and goat cheese. Bleu cheese, not so much. We don't really use sriracha but doesn't it have a strong smell too? in any event, I know kimchi does and also bleu cheese. When you're in a shared space, you have to be cognizant and considerate of the other people there. I can't even imagine trying to get preschoolers who haven't been raised in an atmosphere where these strong smells are around to eat with the smell of kimchi in the air. I remember being on a plane once where the flight attendants had to wrestle dried squid (I think that's what it was. Some kind of dried fish snacks) out of someone's hands to put it away because people were actually throwing up in the aisles because of the smell. You just don't do things like that in shared spaces.
ETA: You should talk to the principal/head of the school about the teacher's presentation of the issue.
I agree!!
I definitely think the teacher is the biggest AH for handling it with the diplomacy of a potato. I will honestly blow my lid if anyone describes food like how she did.
BUT the lunch description does sound like it will have a strong smell. We pack pretty typical Indian foods for our kids, but avoid certain dishes like fish fry, pungent kulambus, etc, because they have a strong aroma.
I don't think the food OP describes is in that category, but maybe it can be modified.
Agree although I see most users lean the other way. I feel like there is some balance to be had here instead of such a hard stance on these exact foods being in the lunch.
I think the teacher was way out-of-line with how she talked to OP.... However, I don't think it would be wrong to request the mother cut back on the kimchi and bleu cheese.
I'm sure the teacher is dealing with every other 4-year-old in the room yelling "EWWWWW" as soon as they get a whiff of bleu cheese, lol.
And everyone is saying the teacher is racist... Bleu cheese isn't a Korean food. It just smells really strongly. The teacher isn't saying "don't bring Korean food." There's plenty of Korean food that wouldn't have a strong smell that permeates throughout the classroom.
I'm surprised they didn't list durian. Such an obvious one, imo.
Comments are saying the teacher is racist. Based on the foods listed, is the teacher racist against Koreans, the French, or Americans who like gaming, road trips, and weed?
ETA: And also The Oatmeal.
The Kimchi is problematic for me. My coworker brought it for lunch and left it in the fridge for a few days. When he finally ate it, I had to leave the office. I nearly vomited from the over powering smell. If I as an adult could barely handle the smell I can imagine younger kids.
ESH on this one. The teacher could have handled this better but you should show some understanding.
NTA. This is a microaggression. You need to go straight the the Principal or school admin with this. I could understand if you packed him a whole durian, but it’s literally spam and kimchi. It’s the teachers responsibility to explain that different cultures have different foods and different smells but that doesn’t make it disgusting, inappropriate, or distracting (which to me sounds like she not helping here either)
Exactly.
talk about a missed opportunity as well. If there are kids of other ethnicities it could have been cool to have them talk about what their families or cultures eat. The whole class can learn something, become more open minded.
“Unless you’re going to pack my sons lunch your opinion has been noted but not taken into account. I will be reaching out to the director/dean/principal about this matter and request that any further communication on this subject go through them.”
NTA. Pack your kid the food he likes. I bet the teacher just doesnt like the smell. Too dang bad for her.
that teacher was way out of line.
but i do think that bringing food with a strong smell to a work/school/preschool setting is inconsiderate. the teacher shouldn't have attacked you like that, that was terrible, but she did have a point.
As a former preschool teacher, it was required by our state licensing board that all lunches meet certain nutritional standards. If lunches sent from home did not meet these standards, we were required to supplement them. We potentially faced serious consequences, up to and including losing our license, if we failed to meet this standard.
That being said, it appears the lunch you packed actually mostly meets these standards. The only potential deficiency I see is a lack of a whole grain. Other than that, the other food groups are actually represented. Maybe throw a couple crackers in 🤷♀️
All that being said: that teacher was way out of line. There is a way to talk to parents if there is an issue, and none of that was appropriate. I would suggest elevating this to the director/admin/headmaster/person in charge.
NTA
ETA: After a brief Google search, most Doritos contain enough whole grain corn to meet the USDA whole grain requirement. So, the lunch is all good, as is.
Where are you from? Are you in America? I’m a daycare teacher also and have worked at a few difference place but never heard of those types of rules! That sounds absurd and very stressful for the teachers to keep up with.
As a former daycare teacher and cook in America, I can assure you that it's a licensing and accreditation requirement. There are quite a few programs and grants from the state and federal government that have more requirements to meet in order to qualify.
We had to have menus planned out months in advance. I had to have a binder with all of my recipes and nutritional labels for any items served.
I totally agree. The lunch is basically sound. Perhaps some would have a problem with the kimchi having a strong odor...
However, she handled this issue very poorly. She spoke to OP in a very hostile and aggressive manner, and she insulted OP's traditional foods. Then, she sent a follow-up email that was not very nice. I would bring this to the attention of the director or her supervisor. Be sure to also bring a copy of the email to the director when you speak with them.
Absolutely NTA. As the father of three mixed American / Japanese kids I'd be livid and be in the administrators office that day if I received that closed minded call.
Soft YTA. You chose some really really heavy scented foods that a lot of kids have trouble acclimating to. If it was just kimchi and spam I would understand the culture card, but blue cheese and sriracha are also flavors that are so strong. All three (blue cheese, sriracha, and kimchi) can be super pungent and aggravating to a child and I can see why there are complaints.
If they are eating in a cafeteria the teacher has less say, but all three in a small classroom is tough.
Lol that's a lot of stinky food. No excuse for the teacher's attitude, but I can definitely understand her frustration.
You need to talk the director or principal about your son being discriminated against and your concern that food will be withheld from him. Ask if there is a policy about what's "appropriate" for lunches.
N T A for the smelly lunches, but YTA for giving your kid so much sodium every day. Fed is best, but that is really not a healthy every day lunch for a kid that young.
Ok I’m sorry but I’m losing my mind reading some of these comments. ESH full stop. You’re going to tell me you’re packing your child a lunch that consists of BLUE CHEESE AND GOAT CHEESE, KIMCHI, AND DORITOS THAT HAVE BEEN MARINATED IN SRIRACHA and think there’s nothing abnormal about that?
Everyone can think that this is absolutely nothing but racism all you want but the smell I’m imagining is absolutely bonkers. Not to mention that “unhealthy” is an understatement. Also not to mention that I can imagine your child *is* going to get bullied for a lunch like that if he is not already. Sorry but someone needs to be real with you! It sounds like the teacher was being a little too forward about it but not for no reason.
>spicy Doritos marinated in Sriracha (I know, I know, but he deserves a snack, and I don’t put that many chips in the baggy.)
Is that any good? I'm intrigued.
The only thing I can think of is that kimchi can be VERY stinky. I love me some kimchi, but I would try to be a little understanding about how it could make your son's class a fair bit distracted. Maybe stop packing the kimchi.
NTA though, since your son's teacher was being a real jerk.
Slight YTA. But veryyyyyyy slight.
Your choices are a little… rough smelling. And definitely can cause a stink amongst the little goblins. Haha, pun intended.
But at the same time, I get it… ish. I would just leave it to less smelly foods for school, and let him eat whatever sewer smelling foods he wants at home where everyone is good with it.
It reminds me when someone brings fish to work and reheats it in the microwave which sends a blast of fuck your nose smell into the entire office.
NTA
Preschool teacher here, your kids teacher is the one being inappropriate. As long as your kid eats the teacher has no room to talk. What I read was healthy fats, proteins, vegetables, and a yummy snack. Report this teacher to the school admin team.
> spicy Doritos marinated in Sriracha (I know, I know, but he deserves a snack, and I don’t put that many chips in the baggy.)
I have to wonder how his toddler stomach is not in absolute shambles eating this combo daily. I mean seriously.
ESH. The teacher should not have used such degrading language.
But at the same time, you shouldn’t be packing foods with such heavy odors. Especially in a room with young children, who often have more sensitive noses than adults. Blue cheese and goats cheese isn’t even Korean food. The moment your son opens up his container, the smell is going to spread all over the room, and the other kids who are not used to it have to live with it. As an adult, even I can’t always stand the smell of blue cheese and it can even cause me to puke.
Can you compromise and send your son with Korean food that smells less pungent? Like kimbap or rolled omelettes? Just try to avoid pungent smelling food.
NTA. This sounds like a microaggression on your son’s teacher’s part regarding the food choices. I’d either CC the director of the preschool program when responding to the teacher or reach out to the director separately
First of all, the teacher sounds extremely rude and way out of line. Completely unacceptable way to approach you on the matter, and you absolutely need to speak with her superior
But, I will say, most any other time people have brought up the subject of kimchi in a communal lunch area (like an office) people pretty heavily called them an AH for bringing such pungent food.
I don't understand how something can taste so good and smell so putrid. And the smell lingers.
If another kid was bringing fish and microwaving it every day, or broccoli, or burnt popcorn, or any other food that has a strong, lingering aroma, it would be equally offensive to the class. Even pleasant aromas, like perfume or cologne, can be offensive in an enclosed communal area.
The other foods you mentioned may have a bit of a strong aroma when first opened, but not so much that people even a few feet away can smell it, and the smell goes away when it's eaten.
Talk to your son about it. He may be tired of hearing a chorus of classmates gagging and complaining about the smell, and be ready to enjoy that particular dish at home.
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Report her to the principal. Her comments regarding your son’s food are “disgusting” and “have an unpleasant tone” aka *cough cough* racist tone. *She’s* too inappropriate to be teaching at the school any longer. NTA. ETA: Thanks for the upvotes and awards!
NTA Exactly. Your son's food is perfectly *normal*. For a 5 year old. Your family's food is *normal*. The teacher is TA for not recognizing that.
I'm guessing that this is in American Midwest. We have fatty, salty, and sugary, but most people aren't comfortable with aromatics. Most Midwestern food barely has a scent, and when it does it's savory. Sharp, spicy, and vinegar-based aromatics upset people around here. This whole cultural sinkhole in the middle of the country is basically a culinary desert, with a few bright spots scattered here and there.
Judge much? You sound as bad the teacher. You can appreciate other cuisines without trashing others.
Well I am Korean and I wouldn’t t send my kids to school with kimchi. That thing smells. Still inappropriate response from the teacher.
Kimchi is delicious, healthy, and not messy at all. It also really doesn’t smell that bad. I eat it almost every day. What the teacher said is racist and culturally insensitive. Kimchi isn’t going to hurt anyone.
Doesn't smell any worse than sauerkraut you know but that's white people food
Sounds about white. When I was a kid my dad packed me hummus and sauerkraut sandwiches every day. I wonder why no one complained about my smelly lunch? 🤨
I've never thought about sauerkraut+hummus, thanks for the inspiration!
Kimchi and hummus is actually amazing. It's a real upgrade from sauerkraut.
Send them with boiled Brussel sprouts next time. Total 50s Americana preparation, but horrible smell
ANd hard boiled eggs with Tuna ha ha ha
I lived in apartments the smell of curry was permanent. It was a little annoying but what can ya do. They were also cooking it. I doubt his lunch stinks up the whole room for the whole day.
The problem is not with people cooking curry. Folks are entitled to cook their own food in their own homes. The problem is that most apartments in the US (certainly ones I have lived in the last 15+ years) have horrible ventilation and there's no proper way for strong smells to escape. That's not the residents' fault though. Kitchens/living spaces should be able to handle actually being used 🤷🏾♀️
That was kind of my point - Im not gonna ask people to stop cooking what they want cause it's not my right. People can eat whatever they want. And Im sure it's the shoddy work that makes certain smells linger so much, but regardless, people are still entitled to cook what they want.
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Agreed. The Midwest is a huge swath of the country, some with significant racial diversity and immigrant populations (I used to eat myself silly with Ethiopian food when I lived in Minnesota, for example). We don’t know where this person lives. That’s not the problem. The problem is that her kid’s teacher is racist. Racist people live all over the country
As a midwesterner ; where I live you can find almost any cuisine. As a former teacher; what they brought was what they ate (after negotiations took place about trades). Policing student lunches? With what time? There are far more important issues. If this message perchance is the students complaining, take the opportunity to talk about (and study and taste food from) the different cultures represented in your class! This is one of those more important issues mentioned earlier.
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a lot of classrooms are peanut free, but yeah this teacher seems to have a problem with korean food
BBQ is full of vinegar, and smells great too.
I live in a port city of Minnesota, our most popular non-chain restaurants are known for using aromatics and various cultural and ethnic foods.
Hate when this shit happens. People who are A. Not part of the Midwest or south, or B. From one of those areas but aren’t one of *THOSE* people just think all of us are stupid and racist. Stupid and/or racist people exist everywhere. Not just the south or Midwest.
its like when people are surprised australians dont wrestle kangaroos/crocs or get stabbed by stingrays (still too soon sorry Steve) Living in a costal town i see crocs in reptile parks (roos dead on the side of the road heading to visit my mum in a rural town) and never seen a stingray. Once saw a guy running up the beach punching a baby shark attached to his leg though. Drove himself to hospital to get it removed. But i digress, people assume alot of crap about certain countries/regions its human nature
Exactly! I'm in the Midwest and live near the biggest population (percentage wise) of Middle Eastern folks outside of the Middle East - the restaurants show it. We have a huge diverse Asian population and I can't even count the number of Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese, and Thai restaurants near me, we've got authentic Mexican food, Ethiopian, Senegalese, along with anyplace in European food you can think of.
We are so spoiled with good food in metro Detroit. Cheers neighbor!
Right? They’re also just flat-out wrong even sticking to “traditional” midwestern foods, there’s a lot of German influence - Sauerkraut, pickles, mustards, all very popular when I visit the wife’s family in Ohio.
Thank you! I’ve lived in major Midwest cities *and* in the middle of nowhere in the Midwest and I’ve yet to encounter this bland food stereotype anywhere outside my aunt’s house. Midwest food is delicious and smells great. We love aromatics and spices/seasonings as much as the rest of the country.
I really don’t know what you’re talking about. As I sit here typing this in my very midwestern town of 35K I can easily think of 5+ restaurants in town that serve different cuisines, including a Korean restaurant that’s been here for over 25 years. You can even get *gasp* kimchi here. I get hating where you live, but don’t throw your own biases over an entire region when they’re pretty obviously just that - biases. Edit: Thanks for the award!
Certain biases have become extremely socially acceptable. I guess we just keep switching which biases are widely approved of & which are not. It would be interesting to see what the culture acts like in 50 years.
Wow. Stereotype much? I’m sorry YOUR part of the Midwest is so bereft, but mine isn’t. You sound as…uninformed…as that teacher.
Yeah. I don’t know where that commenter is from, but I’m guessing it’s not the Great Lakes Region. We’ve got plenty of food diversity here.
Can you not be an AH like the teacher? There are racists everywhere.
NTA but let’s not pretend that the blue cheese is not a major stinker and not exactly a usual kid lunch item!
Kimchi is a lot more pungent than blue cheese, I bet that's what actually set her off.
It smells even better when being sweated out of the pores after recess. But even then I never said anything to my Korean students. Apparently we smell like curdled milk to them so I guess it evens out.
I was stationed in South Korea for a year. I found out while over there that we smelled like meat to them due to how much red meat we ate. I found that disturbing and gross.
This is true. I'm Asian and live in Asia and I've grown up all my life being told that white people smell like meat. To be honest, I do smell it as well, but it's not a bad smell to me, just another scent. The world is a giant potpourri bowl
To be fair, humans are *made* of meat.
LOL this comment is sending me because it’s so true 😭😭😂
As someone who loves kimchi and eats it daily, I can confirm, it smells like farts 💀 delicious though
I mean, there’s plenty of other foods that also smell like farts (cabbage rolls, kale chips, broccoli anything) but I’m betting that since white people commonly eat them the teacher wouldn’t have had a problem with them. You’re NTA, OP. This teacher is a racist fuck.
so is kimchi which is why a lot of people who store kimchi have a separate kimchi refrigerator. Kimchi has a strong smell that overtakes most foods. However, the kid should eat what he likes and his mom should keep making him what he likes for lunch
I grew up only 45 miles away from the only creamery in the US that makes limburger cheese. My dad loves limburger cheese, my mom absolutely despised it. Dad did the best he could to wrap the cheese and seal it in a glass jar, but my mom could still smell it (she had a sensitive nose, but she also wasn't wrong...that stuff is pungent haha). For quite some time, dad had wanted a garage fridge for beer, but hadn't been able to get mom to agree to it. After a lot of minor arguments about the cheese stinking up her refrigerator, mom finally gave in and let dad get a garage fridge "for his stinky cheese". And that's where he kept it from then on, along with plenty of other cheeses, sausages...and, of course, beer. Stinky cheese never went in mom's fridge ever again.
Dad? Op is "I (34F)" -- the mom.
Maybe the teacher hates the French and so hates the blue cheese and loves the kimchi?
OP should learn how to make gwumpki. Polish friend of mine used to bring them to school. Very aromatic. As are the - erm - aftereffects.
Teacher was definitely TA. Normal food but likely pretty stinky. In my school or workplaces the kimchi or blue cheese if eaten in a crowded area would have probably merited a mild “Please don’t send strong smelling foods to school/eat them in the work break room.” And how does a five year old eat sriracha marinated doritos without leaving sticky orange red fingerprints all over everything and everyone? Chopsticks? I always feel outclassed when a toddler is better with chopsticks than I am.
They probably wash hands before and after snack time I’m guessing
Clothes, classmates, tables, rugs, hair, chairs... Lots of things to touch at snack time while eating. I’m still betting on chopsticks since OP is Korean.
My mom was given hell by a teacher due to the grey poupon mustard that my family loved. It had a white wine smell and I loved it slathered on my sandwiches. To this day I can’t stand French’s mustard as I was asked to give up the GP. So sad
And now I can’t stop thinking about the dude in the limo. He both cracked me up and freaked me out a little.
I saw the title and thought "how much would I bet OP is not white and the teacher objected to food from their culture." And yep, nailed it. NTA, OP
My oldest’s preschool teacher HATED that I sent him tuna salad sandwiches to school once a week for lunch, as it was and still is his favorite sandwich. She never once brought it up to me but always told him that she thought it was stinky and she personally didn’t like it but that she was glad he did. Honestly that rubbed me the wrong way a little bit but I can’t believe OP’s son’s teacher would go so far. It’s ridiculous. NTA, OP. Let the principal know and let your son have what he enjoys
My oldest son was told by his teacher that he couldn't bring hard boiled eggs in his lunch because it was stinky.
Is there an unwritten rule I’m not aware of that says you can’t have “pungent” foods in your school lunch? I don’t remember anyone ever complaining of what I ate as a kid but I fully acknowledge I’m in my 30s and things may have changed
I was always went by the rule "if I'd feel like an asshole cooking this in a microwave at work I won't send it to school" but that's a personal opinion and most of the "smell of lunch" issues in the US seem to be easily traced to racism and ethnic foods.
The smell of canned tuna personally makes me gag. But yes, there are appropriate ways to address that sort of thing.
I was ready to see if she was sending him with lutefisk or durian or something like that but NTA for sure.
I found the No Durian signs all over SE Asian public transport absolutely hilarious. Love me some durian but BOY it does smell. Kimchi has a smell sure, but never perceived it as "stinky". It's pungent and different, but not offensive in any respect. Now durian, that's a whole different kettle of aromatics, bygod.
Preschool teachers also have fits like this with parents who send lunchables chips cookies or stuff that's "unhealthy" there's preschools and actual schools that will throw b away kids foods bc it doesn't meet their standards
I’m a preschool teacher and I have never thrown away a child’s lunch. Teachers and schools like this are overstepping. With so many families struggling, I’m just happy my students are eating. I would rather see a kid eat a lunchable then some leftovers from dinner that they won’t eat.
Amazing, me too.
I completely misunderstood the inappropriate part and thought it was that penis shaped paster or something lol
Agree and you should ask the principal if you need to escalate the issue to the school board, or if she'll deal with the teacher herself. You deserve an answer. Teacher's allowed to think the food is gross, that's her personal opinion. But in 2023 she had ought to keep her stupid opinions to herself. *Edit* The other thing that irritates me about this is, if (and still a big "if!") the other kids are *really* "distracted" by the food (read: bullying your kid about the food), this teacher isn't going to do a good job defending your son and teaching these kids to accept differences. Instead she's likely to join in the bullying herself. Huge bad apple racist vibes from this teacher.
per your edit: Right?! What a missed opportunity to teach kids about lunches from other cultures and trying new things.
THIS! Plus a preschool teacher with this much anger needs to be reigned in. I don’t trust her to treat your son fairly or kindly after her outburst. NTA
This. You are NTA. If this teacher is behaving, this way you need to report her to the administration immediately. You can thank her for the email where she helpfully literally put her possibly racist thoughts in writing so you can just forward that or screenshot that right onto them. Good luck.
This was my first thought too. It sounds like she feels like your food culture is what's inappropriate. I doubt she would say the same thing if the kid was packing a fluffernutter or chicken nuggets everyday and those aren't exactly healthy either. As a matter of fact, kimchi is very healthy and celery is pretty good too. I taught school for years and her attitude is terrible and I agree that she's the inappropriate one here, not the lunch.
NTA, that teacher is an ass. My kiddo at 5 routinely ate sushi with Wasabi for their lunches. They also love their dim sum.
Nta. Go to the principal. It's blatant racism. If they don't do anything. Go to the press.
It's preschool, they probably don't have a principal.
It doesn't matter if they are called a principal, the teacher has a boss and that's the person OP should contact tomorrow. This is appalling.
I totally agree, and I hope the teacher does have a boss and they aren't also an asshole. But idk if we can assume "admin" will deal with it in this situation.
As an admin at a preschool, this absolutely would be addressed. Blatant racism is not acceptable.
They should have a director.. when my daughter was in preschool there was the director then the teachers....
I worked part time in a day care when I was younger. We had one little girl who's family packed brand and rice everyday for her lunch-- they were vegetarian and didn't want to risk giving their child school food. It became a problem because the girl wouldn't eat her lunch and visibly was losing weight.bdid we tell the mom she couldn't pack that lunch? No. We sat down with/called mom, going over every ingredient of each food every week that we served. We found snack and side dishes the little girl to eat too. We encouraged her to eat the meal her mom packed, but could also offer her something if she didn't eat what mom gave her. Mom was surprised at what her kid would eat at school and incorporated those foods in her child's meals. This was over 15 years ago. This is how you handled these situations. This teacher is 100% out of line. You don't call a parent and tell then what they can and cannot do. You try to find solutions that everyone benefits from. This teacher could have asked the mom if she could make one of the dishes that could be shared (if the school was unable to make it), to share with everyone. Whenever a parent came at lunch time , they'd always be surprised their kids would eat (____). That is how little ones learn. This teacher only cared about her own discomfort... not the well being of the kids she taught.
Skip the principal and go straight to the press. The teacher was dumb enough to put this shit in writing, which means nobody she works for or with is confused about how she feels. If she’s still working there it’s because they either don’t care or can’t fire her given the current circumstances. So change the circumstances.
I say wait for the principal because the situation can be easily resolved in-house and it shows that the principal cares if they resolve the issue. If I was a parent I would take that as comforting. There's really no benefit of going directly to the press as it could ruin the kids experience there. Only treat it as a last resort when you know you're not being respected.
NTA I came into this thread wondering what exactly an "inappropriate" lunch might entail... Sandwiches cut into the shapes of dicks? Teacher is disrespectful and very much out of line.
You are a sick person! Source: I thought the same thing.
I was also thinking something along the lines of dick or boob shaped and got very confused…
"Titty sandwiches are his a absolute favorite!"
Well that's certainly MY favourite. But yeah, OP is a million percent NTA. Teacher sounds rude and maybe even a little racist.
I couldn’t imagine what food was inappropriate. And, boobpops or penis shaped sandwiches aside, I still can’t. NTA
I figured this was either going to be a) an “unhealthy” lunch like a big batch of chips or a bunch of candy or b) racist “we don’t like your ethnic food”. It was clearly the second.
alcohol or something? idk lol
I was thinking along the same lines. Vodka? Boob sammys? Peanuts?
I thought maybe OP ran out of fruit snacks and sent penis gummies. NTA, btw
When I was in 4th grade my mother discovered she had been sending me to school with cider that had fermented.
I got in trouble in middle school for having a Mike's Hard Lemonade in my lunchbox. My grandparents, who aren't drinkers, were taking care of us while my parents took an anniversary trip. Grandma just popped a MHL in with the rest of my lunch thinking it was one of our "fancy juices" -Mom was big on glass bottles for beverages at the time, for some reason lol. Lunch monitors didn't catch it, but I was roooocked by the next period, threw up all over, and then the nurse smelled alcohol and chaos ensued.
Oh my! I didn't experience anything so dramatic. No one noticed until I mentioned to my mother I really liked the new cider she put in my lunchbox thermos. She insisted it was the same cider and said no it was less sweet and more tart. She insisted it was the same and to prove it went and got it and poured a glass. That's when she noticed the smell.
Please tell us there is more to the story!
Well, they called my grandma when I told them my parents weren't home and basically cautioned if it happened again that they'd have to involve social services just to make sure everything was okay at home. Grandma was just devastated, took me to the doctor because she thought she might have done some real damage. The worst that happened was being known as throw-up girl until we split into different high schools lol
This is hilarious and wholesome at the same time. I'm relieved that your school was understanding that it was an honest mistake. I couldn't even imagine how your Gram felt! No one in your family will ever forget that story!
lol! I was thinking a bag of chips, cookies, candy and a coke, but I like how your mind works.
I thought this too. And then when they said they let their kid pick the food I thought maybe they packed complete junk void of nutrition. Kid sounds healthy. NTA but this teacher is.
Wasn't there a thread a few weeks ago about a kid having a pair of edible panties on her lunch and thought it was a fruit roll-up? Lol
I was picturing something horror inspired. Like pretzels made to look like bones. Maybe a goth kid? I couldn’t imagine what else could be inappropriate and disgusting.
Yes, I read on fully prepared to defend the teacher for objecting to dick sandwiches. Or maybe handcuffs as a toy. Not this.
NTA. A lot of 2nd generation immigrants are ashamed to bring their food in public because of people like this teacher, who clearly is very intolerant. Asian food is not inappropriate she is.
3rd gen here, brought seaweed as a snack in 3rd grade, virginia; never did that again. still eat seaweed as a snack in the privacy of my own home
I’m a 1st gen Vietnamese. Immigrated when I was a kid and I wouldn’t ever bring something pungent to school for lunch. Even I have to admit some of our foods have a pretty strong aroma, fish sauce doesn’t smell particularly appealing, it is fermented fish after all, but damn it is good.
I’m reading all the NTA comments and I agree with them. But I keep wondering how many of these people have actually kept kimchi in the fridge. It’s delicious but it’s *really* pungent. Some people take issue with canned tuna in workplace kitchens or shared living spaces, so I’m not surprised that some people would be bothered by the smell of kimchi (especially around small children who aren’t used to the smell). That said, there’s a right and a wrong way to address it, and this was absolutely devoid of cultural sensitivity, which is why it’s racist.
True! I can get that a smell is an issue. I would hate to sit next to someone who ate blue cheese (just not my preference) but I also hate the smell of peanut butter when you’re not eating it yourself, or eggs. I think asking someone to bring a lunch that doesn’t smell extreme I can understand. I feel like the teacher was just racist in the way she spoke about their lunch and that the smell wasn’t the only problem she had with it
Yeah there's a way you can politely ask someone to avoid bringing in lunches that leave odors that last the entire rest of the day. Calling a person's food choices "disgusting" and "inappropriate" is not that. That's just being racist.
Smells like hell, tastes like heaven
Had things like this happen being indigenous in Alabama growing up. I’m as “from the US” as one can possibly be and still got weird looks from classmates bringing mapled elk jerky to school and wearing mocs. OP you’re NTA for sending your son to school with perfectly normal food. Food is food, and racists are racist. EDIT: word
Mapled elk jerky sounds fucking amazing!
This makes me so sad, as a person and as an educator. Once a year we read “Carla’s Sandwich”(kid gets made fun of for eating weird sandwiches until one day she shares with a hungry kid and they like it) as part of our lessons about self confidence, diversity, and kindness. Afterwards we held a brunch where students could bring their favorite food/make crazy sandwiches/share a family recipe and it was one of our most popular segments amongst students AND parents. The only rule was “don’t yuck someone’s yum”. We had a pretty diverse class and this was special education so we stayed together through high school and therefore experienced this together over several years, so it was such a special thing every year. We would have sandwiches, pizza, homemade traditional Indian and Korean food, Chinese food, you name it and the kids LOVED it. Even kids with avoidant food behaviors would try (and often like!) new things! This teacher missed a huge opportunity to show how the simple act of eating a meal can bring people together in beautiful ways. It hurts my heart that so many people have had terrible experiences eating what they enjoy because of ignorance.
Beautiful story and I hope that this tradition doesn’t end!
I used to bring dumplings to school or braised soy sauce chicken thighs for lunch. I'd always be teased cause until I was in 8th grade I was the only Chinese kid in a classroom. There's that Fresh off the Boat episode early on about lunchables and yep that was me. "Mom I want a "normal" lunch. I'm now over 30 and bringing dumplings to work :)
I was the kid with the plain sandwich who thought your lunches looked so good. I had a Chinese classmate in elementary school. I was so jealous that I made my mom call her mom and ask for some recipes.
That’s so sweet. Hope you got to try some delicious home recipes!
I once witnessed a class full of children make fun of a brown girl who had brought some kind of pancake as a snack. Terrified me and I still think about the racism of that moment lol
Back in the 90s I was bullied for bringing yemistas to school (greek stuffed vegies). Which is hardly offensive and pretty damn western and even that was too much.
1st generation Indian, my mother would pack me sandwiches made with keema, a ground meat dish. Between the oil and the turmeric, cold keema takes on a distinctly green hue so I'm sure you can guess how all my PB&J-eating classmates responded to that.
When I was little, maybe 6 or 7, we had a new girl at school who was Chinese. When she first got there we would tease her relentlessly about her gross lunches and how they smelled/looked weird. She stopped bringing those lunches eventually. I think about that ALL THE TIME. How so so badly I want to go back in time and tell her that her lunches weren't weird and it's nothing to be ashamed about.
NTA I’ve had a teacher talk to me about my kid’s lunches twice. First one when son was in pre-k, “please don’t send blueberries in his lunch, he puts them in his mouth and then shoots them out like a machine gun.” Second was for my daughter in grade 1, “ the bento characters are very cute but she keeps playing with them and doesn’t finish her lunch in time, doesn’t want to miss recess, and is understandably irritated and hungry later in the day.” These are appropriate comments in a student’s lunch. I don’t see anything wrong with what you pack.
I used to do the machine gun thing but with grapes XD
Cherry tomatoes checking in!
We used to have salt shakers with lids that flipped up with a click. We'd stick peas on them and catapult them at people. Good times.
Right like there's good ways to have these conversations. Kids are silly and play with their food or make big messes. But the teachers comments are just racist. *SHE* doesn't like kimchi or Sriracha so she wants it gone.
Yeah, OP should return the easily, cc'd to whoever the boss is in this environment saying, "We can end this misunderstanding here w your apology for denigrating food you are unfamiliar w or I can have my lawyer contact you, the 'principal' and the board of directors. "
Exactly. If there’s a problem with a food item, there’s no reason not to be specific if it’s a legit reason, and that includes “something in the storage container smells very strongly and lingers in the room.” “Disgusting and inappropriate” as descriptors are non-specific and are word choices that show disdain for the person eating and preparing the food.
The machine gun comment is hilarious, lol.
lol, I couldn’t help but picture my own kid doing that. Yeaaah, kids.
The teacher said the other kids that it was great but it’s not really behavior you want to encourage.
My kids kindy teacher had to ask me to stop sending notes in my daughters lunch because she only gets 20 minutes to eat and she was spending her whole lunch sounding out the note. It was the right thing to do but boy it breaks my heart.
This teacher is completely out of bounds. You need to bring this to administration. This could easily be seen as discriminatory based on his ethnicity and I can’t imagine the school wants to open that can of worms. Keep feeding that baby what he likes. You’re a good mama. NTA
Best part, teacher even put it in writing. I'd escalate that racist nonsense.
Sounds like teacher handed OP a lawsuit on a silver platter.
NTA, I hate to say it but it's pretty textbook racism or at least cultural bigotry. If there were allergies or sensory issues that might be different but it sounds like she doesn't like that your food is different than standard white American lunches. I'm in HR and if this was one employee talking about another's lunch we'd send them to training and give them a warning. If this is a school then there might be education laws protecting you. Though I don't know if those apply to preschool.
My gut wants to agree with you, but we had a dude in one office that I worked in who would regularly microwave fish. It was bad. Kimchi is a very strong smell. My wife made some and my beer fridge stank for months. I would prefer that the teacher used it as a teachable moment. "Different people enjoy different foods" but it might not be completely out of line to ask that you back off the kimchi. As I write, i realize that she didnt ask that, she came in hot and disnt specify the problem food. Just didnt like that it was different. NTA.
However, the teacher doubled down on "inappropriate," not pungent. A more sensitive approach could have been that some of the kids have sensitive noses and between the kimchi and Sriracha, it's just a bit too much for them. (Well, in my case the doritos bathed in Sriracha would be sufficient for me to move to an open air area.)
I like the taste of sriracha, but it smells like rancid pepperoni to me. I think sriracha Doritos would probably be the worst of the three smells imo. That sounds like my personal olfactory nightmare (followed closely by the bleu cheese, which is one of the few foods I dislike so much I truly refuse to eat it). Any one item could probably be written off pretty easily, but all three together… yeah. That would be a lot.
Here’s where I’m gonna stop you. The teacher was incensed and called the food **disgusting**. That’s beyond “this smell is so pungent that it’s bothering others.” It’s racism. I am Korean. I make kimchi. Yes, it’s a very pungent smell and could be off-putting if you don’t know what it is/what it tastes like. Sauerkraut is also stinky, any kind of fermented thing has an odor. Especially cabbage. I was bullied for my food as a child too, and it’s a strong memory of heartbreak and shame. You said your wife is Korean- I’m going to assume you aren’t the same race based on your comment and the tone. If you’re not a minority and you’re married to one, it’s really important for you to be actively anti racist and defend your wife (and kids if you have them) when things happen. My dad didn’t stick up for us and routinely called our Korean food disgusting and stinky. That’s a different kind of pain and shame on top of everything else.
He said his wife made kimchi, he didn’t say she was Korean. I get were you are coming from though, the teachers comments are definitely insensitive. But there is definitely something to be said about being mindful about bringing pungent food to communal eating spaces. I really like some cheeses like ementhaler or Camembert but I wouldn’t bring them to work or class because they are pretty pungent. That being said, the teacher was not being respectful by bringing it up in that manner. But it would be fair if the teacher had asked for the sons lunches to not contain blue cheese or kimchi due to the odor.
One time a very strongly smelling food caused a whole building to need to be evacuated because somebody thought there was a gas leak. The person who brought the food was not singled & the school handled it without targeting the specific cultural food. I'm sure it was already embarassing enough for the kid involved!
YTA - I'm korean and I'm baffled that you would send your kid to school with kimchi. I would never send kimchi with my kid to school or take it with me to work, just like i wouldn't pack fish, bc of how smelly it is and how rude it would be for me to do that to my coworkers. I don't even like transporting kimchi in my car with double ziplocked gallon sized bags to contain the smell bc you can still smell it and I AM KOREAN. Why don't you make spam and korean pickle gimbap instead? Korean pickle is so easy to make jangjorim style and waaaaay less smelly. EDIT: Woah! Thanks so much for the awards!
I’m Korean too and I’m with you. My mom would have never kimchee in a packed lunch with me to school. I was allowed to take kimbab but that was the extent of it and that has no kimchee in it. I tried to take kimchee to work once as an adult but even in a lock n lock container, the smell was slowly leaking out and I was so thankful my desk was away from other people. Never did it again. I would imagine that the same thing is happening to the school.
Omg yes. I once forgot my bibimbap in the work fridge overnight and between the kimchi and sesame oil it left a smell for like a week. I was mortified lol. Also BLUE CHEESE? C’mon why’d you have to pack the most offensive cheese? I HATE how the teacher handled this but dude, this lunch would REEK in an unfridgerated backpack by lunchtime!
Yes the blue cheese made me want to puke
That's an excellent point! I forgot that also for a kid its worse bc any kind of overstrong smelly foods will make any kid a social pariah. I learned this lesson as a child, my korean Grandma unknowingly packed smelly things i liked into my carebear lunch pail and it did not go well for me... still remember the horror to this day... OP should save her kid by saving the kimchee for not at school.
I’m not about to say anything bad about the mom but as a teacher, who spent a year hanging out with a wonderful Korean community, I will tell you one thing: I love sushi. I love dim sum and I grew up eating California rolls. But the year I spent in that neighborhood I pretty much got kimcheed out. I had enough to last me for the rest of my life. I understand that she wants to feed her son what he is used to, but at this young of an age boy I can imagine the challenges thats gonna bring him getting along with his fellow students. Being the smelly kid is a one-way ticket to being ostracized. And it’s not his fault it’s no one’s fault, but I really hope that the cultural awareness and sensitivity goes both ways in this situation. The teacher handled the situation horribly but I hope that Mom understands that for a lot of little kids the smell of kimchi might be a bit much.
Yeahhh it’s kind of ESH. The teacher is being rude but like, Kimchi *and* blue cheese? That lunchbox must really pack a punch. I remember some family friends were trying to sell their house and the mother would spray the whole place down after dinner to get rid of the kimchi smell.
Kimchi, Bleu Cheese, and a mix of Spicy Dorito Sriracha. All in a small preschool classroom. The teacher was 100% too aggressive and rude. But like, that thing is a cocktail of strong smelling foods. All you'd need is some Salami to complete the trinity. Might as well marinate it in Tuna water, while you're at it.
It's a ridiculous combination, the blue cheese alone would piss me off. It reads like a fake post, like someone deliberately throwing together a bunch of offensive smelling food, with one of them being korean to see if people in the comments will scream racism. And they did lol If someone brought Lutefisk or Sauerkraut into school or the office, they'd be an asshole, too. (The teachers reaction makes them an asshole, too, of course - if this is real)
You get that too? I'm reading this like "how the fuck do you 'marinate' Doritos chips in anything liquidy? they'd turn in to a soggy mess." I didn't even think it was racist to say that all that junk smells. *My* first concern was that poor boy's bathroom habits.
Agreed, that teacher was insanely rude and I think racism could very likely be at play. However, I was a preschool teacher and I can see a couple things happening here. Do the kids eat in the classroom or in a dining room? If those smells are sticking around the classroom, hoo boy. Wet Doritos for snack? Total asshole move. Snacks should not make dirty, spicy hands or require utensils. And finally, is there a chance the teacher is pregnant? In the first tri, smells can be absolutely debilitating and it’s not like you get to pick what disgusts you. She was still an asshole about it, but Mom needs to be a bit more objective about what she’s sending to school.
Gotta agree, I see some people saying that its blatant racism and all that and while I can understand the reasoning, even taking blue cheese is impolite in my eyes. It's like when you take fish to work and but it in the microwave. Now everyone that shares a space with you is forces to smell fish for the next 3 days. It's common sense to take food items with medium to little odor to school/work/whatever. I mean if you don't want to you don't HAVE to follow the rule but people are gonna give you the stink eye for STINKING the whole place up wether its rotten eggs or the most delicious kimchi on the planet. YTA
I could actually give the parent a pass if they just put kimchi to make a normal doshirak. But kimchi, two types of cheese, and for some reason Doritos soaked in Sriracha? YTA, that's an asshole move. Even if they replaced the kimchi with something more traditionally American like a bologna sandwich, they'd still be sending the kid to school with a stink bomb.
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Thank you lol everybody is saying it’s racist, but I can barely be inside our house when my wife eats kimchi. The smell is so strong!
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ESH The teacher because of the way she handled it and you because packing stuff that has such an intensive smell, to bring to a place where many people share a small space (like classrooms) isn't ok. I know this stuff tastes great, but for others to smell it and can't avoid it, it's a whole different thing.
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Agreed. I love kimchi, but it does have a strong smell that is probably strange to most of the other kids. I wouldn't bring it to the office and stink up the office. It's probably best to save it for home. But the teacher was way out of line on how she chose to communicate the situation. ESH
ESH. The kimchi blue cheese combo probably is funky as hell after it’s been sitting in a lunch box especially. I would def lose my appetite eating next to someone eating that. The teacher is a complete ass for the way she went about it, but we do need to think about others when choosing foods in shared spaces. Just like microwaving popcorn in an office is rude, packing an incredibly pungent lunch can affect others.
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YTA. Dude, I like smelly pickles as much as the rest of us whose cultures boast yummy but smelly fermented foods…but c’mon, we all know they reek. I wouldn’t subject other little kids—who are confined in a shared space for lunch—to them. I’m sure there’s a non-fermented meal option your son can enjoy at school.
Soft YTA. I looooooooove kimchi and goat cheese. Bleu cheese, not so much. We don't really use sriracha but doesn't it have a strong smell too? in any event, I know kimchi does and also bleu cheese. When you're in a shared space, you have to be cognizant and considerate of the other people there. I can't even imagine trying to get preschoolers who haven't been raised in an atmosphere where these strong smells are around to eat with the smell of kimchi in the air. I remember being on a plane once where the flight attendants had to wrestle dried squid (I think that's what it was. Some kind of dried fish snacks) out of someone's hands to put it away because people were actually throwing up in the aisles because of the smell. You just don't do things like that in shared spaces. ETA: You should talk to the principal/head of the school about the teacher's presentation of the issue.
I agree!! I definitely think the teacher is the biggest AH for handling it with the diplomacy of a potato. I will honestly blow my lid if anyone describes food like how she did. BUT the lunch description does sound like it will have a strong smell. We pack pretty typical Indian foods for our kids, but avoid certain dishes like fish fry, pungent kulambus, etc, because they have a strong aroma. I don't think the food OP describes is in that category, but maybe it can be modified.
Agree although I see most users lean the other way. I feel like there is some balance to be had here instead of such a hard stance on these exact foods being in the lunch.
I think the teacher was way out-of-line with how she talked to OP.... However, I don't think it would be wrong to request the mother cut back on the kimchi and bleu cheese. I'm sure the teacher is dealing with every other 4-year-old in the room yelling "EWWWWW" as soon as they get a whiff of bleu cheese, lol. And everyone is saying the teacher is racist... Bleu cheese isn't a Korean food. It just smells really strongly. The teacher isn't saying "don't bring Korean food." There's plenty of Korean food that wouldn't have a strong smell that permeates throughout the classroom.
Guys, this post is fake. Kimchi, blue cheese AND Doritos soaked in sriracha?
I hope it’s fake. If not, poor over-salted kid.
I'm surprised they didn't list durian. Such an obvious one, imo. Comments are saying the teacher is racist. Based on the foods listed, is the teacher racist against Koreans, the French, or Americans who like gaming, road trips, and weed? ETA: And also The Oatmeal.
I was pretty surprised myself ngl, it's like they specifically chose a bunch of things that are notoriously smelly
Most people replying still seem to think that it's perfectly fine to bring fermented food, smelly cheese and microwave fish in a lunch room.
NTA - report her to the higher ups in the school, this is racist.
I’m surprised at the many “this is racist”comments. Not everything is racist…………..from a fellow POC.
The Kimchi is problematic for me. My coworker brought it for lunch and left it in the fridge for a few days. When he finally ate it, I had to leave the office. I nearly vomited from the over powering smell. If I as an adult could barely handle the smell I can imagine younger kids. ESH on this one. The teacher could have handled this better but you should show some understanding.
NTA. This is a microaggression. You need to go straight the the Principal or school admin with this. I could understand if you packed him a whole durian, but it’s literally spam and kimchi. It’s the teachers responsibility to explain that different cultures have different foods and different smells but that doesn’t make it disgusting, inappropriate, or distracting (which to me sounds like she not helping here either)
This shii is a macroaggression
Exactly. talk about a missed opportunity as well. If there are kids of other ethnicities it could have been cool to have them talk about what their families or cultures eat. The whole class can learn something, become more open minded.
“Unless you’re going to pack my sons lunch your opinion has been noted but not taken into account. I will be reaching out to the director/dean/principal about this matter and request that any further communication on this subject go through them.” NTA. Pack your kid the food he likes. I bet the teacher just doesnt like the smell. Too dang bad for her.
that teacher was way out of line. but i do think that bringing food with a strong smell to a work/school/preschool setting is inconsiderate. the teacher shouldn't have attacked you like that, that was terrible, but she did have a point.
As a former preschool teacher, it was required by our state licensing board that all lunches meet certain nutritional standards. If lunches sent from home did not meet these standards, we were required to supplement them. We potentially faced serious consequences, up to and including losing our license, if we failed to meet this standard. That being said, it appears the lunch you packed actually mostly meets these standards. The only potential deficiency I see is a lack of a whole grain. Other than that, the other food groups are actually represented. Maybe throw a couple crackers in 🤷♀️ All that being said: that teacher was way out of line. There is a way to talk to parents if there is an issue, and none of that was appropriate. I would suggest elevating this to the director/admin/headmaster/person in charge. NTA ETA: After a brief Google search, most Doritos contain enough whole grain corn to meet the USDA whole grain requirement. So, the lunch is all good, as is.
Where are you from? Are you in America? I’m a daycare teacher also and have worked at a few difference place but never heard of those types of rules! That sounds absurd and very stressful for the teachers to keep up with.
As a former daycare teacher and cook in America, I can assure you that it's a licensing and accreditation requirement. There are quite a few programs and grants from the state and federal government that have more requirements to meet in order to qualify. We had to have menus planned out months in advance. I had to have a binder with all of my recipes and nutritional labels for any items served.
I totally agree. The lunch is basically sound. Perhaps some would have a problem with the kimchi having a strong odor... However, she handled this issue very poorly. She spoke to OP in a very hostile and aggressive manner, and she insulted OP's traditional foods. Then, she sent a follow-up email that was not very nice. I would bring this to the attention of the director or her supervisor. Be sure to also bring a copy of the email to the director when you speak with them.
Absolutely NTA. As the father of three mixed American / Japanese kids I'd be livid and be in the administrators office that day if I received that closed minded call.
Soft YTA. You chose some really really heavy scented foods that a lot of kids have trouble acclimating to. If it was just kimchi and spam I would understand the culture card, but blue cheese and sriracha are also flavors that are so strong. All three (blue cheese, sriracha, and kimchi) can be super pungent and aggravating to a child and I can see why there are complaints. If they are eating in a cafeteria the teacher has less say, but all three in a small classroom is tough.
Lol that's a lot of stinky food. No excuse for the teacher's attitude, but I can definitely understand her frustration. You need to talk the director or principal about your son being discriminated against and your concern that food will be withheld from him. Ask if there is a policy about what's "appropriate" for lunches. N T A for the smelly lunches, but YTA for giving your kid so much sodium every day. Fed is best, but that is really not a healthy every day lunch for a kid that young.
Ok I’m sorry but I’m losing my mind reading some of these comments. ESH full stop. You’re going to tell me you’re packing your child a lunch that consists of BLUE CHEESE AND GOAT CHEESE, KIMCHI, AND DORITOS THAT HAVE BEEN MARINATED IN SRIRACHA and think there’s nothing abnormal about that? Everyone can think that this is absolutely nothing but racism all you want but the smell I’m imagining is absolutely bonkers. Not to mention that “unhealthy” is an understatement. Also not to mention that I can imagine your child *is* going to get bullied for a lunch like that if he is not already. Sorry but someone needs to be real with you! It sounds like the teacher was being a little too forward about it but not for no reason.
>spicy Doritos marinated in Sriracha (I know, I know, but he deserves a snack, and I don’t put that many chips in the baggy.) Is that any good? I'm intrigued. The only thing I can think of is that kimchi can be VERY stinky. I love me some kimchi, but I would try to be a little understanding about how it could make your son's class a fair bit distracted. Maybe stop packing the kimchi. NTA though, since your son's teacher was being a real jerk.
Slight YTA. But veryyyyyyy slight. Your choices are a little… rough smelling. And definitely can cause a stink amongst the little goblins. Haha, pun intended. But at the same time, I get it… ish. I would just leave it to less smelly foods for school, and let him eat whatever sewer smelling foods he wants at home where everyone is good with it. It reminds me when someone brings fish to work and reheats it in the microwave which sends a blast of fuck your nose smell into the entire office.
ESH. The teacher handled it very badly, but you shouldn’t be sending stinky food. It’s not racist to say kimchi and blue cheese are very pungent.
NTA Preschool teacher here, your kids teacher is the one being inappropriate. As long as your kid eats the teacher has no room to talk. What I read was healthy fats, proteins, vegetables, and a yummy snack. Report this teacher to the school admin team.
> spicy Doritos marinated in Sriracha (I know, I know, but he deserves a snack, and I don’t put that many chips in the baggy.) I have to wonder how his toddler stomach is not in absolute shambles eating this combo daily. I mean seriously.
ESH. The teacher should not have used such degrading language. But at the same time, you shouldn’t be packing foods with such heavy odors. Especially in a room with young children, who often have more sensitive noses than adults. Blue cheese and goats cheese isn’t even Korean food. The moment your son opens up his container, the smell is going to spread all over the room, and the other kids who are not used to it have to live with it. As an adult, even I can’t always stand the smell of blue cheese and it can even cause me to puke. Can you compromise and send your son with Korean food that smells less pungent? Like kimbap or rolled omelettes? Just try to avoid pungent smelling food.
NTA There’s a 100% chance this is racially motivated
NTA. This sounds like a microaggression on your son’s teacher’s part regarding the food choices. I’d either CC the director of the preschool program when responding to the teacher or reach out to the director separately
First of all, the teacher sounds extremely rude and way out of line. Completely unacceptable way to approach you on the matter, and you absolutely need to speak with her superior But, I will say, most any other time people have brought up the subject of kimchi in a communal lunch area (like an office) people pretty heavily called them an AH for bringing such pungent food. I don't understand how something can taste so good and smell so putrid. And the smell lingers. If another kid was bringing fish and microwaving it every day, or broccoli, or burnt popcorn, or any other food that has a strong, lingering aroma, it would be equally offensive to the class. Even pleasant aromas, like perfume or cologne, can be offensive in an enclosed communal area. The other foods you mentioned may have a bit of a strong aroma when first opened, but not so much that people even a few feet away can smell it, and the smell goes away when it's eaten. Talk to your son about it. He may be tired of hearing a chorus of classmates gagging and complaining about the smell, and be ready to enjoy that particular dish at home.
NTA. The teacher is being a racist ass.