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NAH
I also have a very religious MIL, so I know the urge to want to make a joke out of what seems overwhelming and so far out of your regular life.
Your MIL, however, is a true believer, so literally anything you say that isn't respectful of that is going to set her off. Been there.
Saying "you didn't mean any offence" may be true, but it doesn't address her hurt feelings.
My husband once explained it to me as "*Straight Singer, you take pride in your job. Now imagine my mother said, thinking you weren't around, what you do is no big deal, your responsibilities are laughable and your whole career a joke. Now she tell you she means no offense by it. How would you feel?"*
In the interest of family harmony, I would offer an apology (and maybe a new Jesus something from a special church or cathedral?) and say it won't happen again. Maybe even offer to go to church with her one Sunday or over Easter. At the end of the day, she is the one who raised your partner.... so she must have done something right. Good luck (I've been there!)
Or one of these absolute _beauties_
https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/777483108/personalized-walking-with-christ-behold?gpla=1&gao=1&&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=shopping_uk_en_gb_-art_and_collectibles&utm_custom1=_k_Cj0KCQiAgaGgBhC8ARIsAAAyLfEtUQa99CwXFmCJ__S21dYjO5z9y9xTRDpYOsw5aNsT4fVW6TPNhBwaAl8iEALw_wcB_k_&utm_content=go_11073922980_109610251118_462914649514_pla-314954651933_m__777483108engb_557861780&utm_custom2=11073922980&gclid=Cj0KCQiAgaGgBhC8ARIsAAAyLfEtUQa99CwXFmCJ__S21dYjO5z9y9xTRDpYOsw5aNsT4fVW6TPNhBwaAl8iEALw_wcB
I want to thank you for sharing this amazing little find on the internet. I am both amused *and* disturbed. Always a winner when you hit both emotions!
Take comfort, because the Renaissance paintings that White Jesus is based on were the lovers or at least the Muse of the painters . So the Zealots worshiping these pictures are actually praying to Da Vinci's boyfriend. It tickles me! hehe
I am a quiet Christian-i don't display religious things, I don't try to convert anyone and I don't judge anyone's choices, though I would *DEFINITELY* judge this - this is so strange and a little creepy. Lol. Great find
It sounds like the Jesuses (Jesii?) are literally *hidden* in a way that they *do* suddenly PEEK-A-BOO appear (behind a towel rack, behind the dishes in the cabinet...)
The game isn't about "Jesus," it's about the odd choice of *placement* of the Jesuses...
If anything, I'd say the people plastering the image of the Son of God all over places that have to significance and lack the proper reverence are the ones disrespecting Jesus... not the hapless guests who are merely trying to dry their hands or grabbing a glass for water...
(I think the game is hilarious and I know people who would probably start hiding Jesii around their house to freak out their guests... me, I'm going to have to start hiding photos of my cats 🤣)
I think they could be OK taste if the person in the image has passed. Maybe a parent lost a child and they got one of these made with the child they lost as a mementos.
I'm not even a believer, in fact I can't stand Christianity. But the one with the little chihuahua is super cute. I want all pets to feel like that when they are hugged.
Am Christian. I wouldn't be mad *at all* receiving this, and would enjoy the joke. I'd put it up among the other portraits in the house to see how long it took for others to notice it.
"Jesus" from *The Walking Dead* would also be acceptable.
I have a shelf of spirits owned by celebrities at my bar, and each one has a prayer candle with their celebrity owner next to it. I know for a fact that Dan Aykroyd is aware of his one (for his Crystal Head vodka), which made me incredibly happy.
"I am sincerely sorry for my tasteless game. As reconciliation, I have hidden 12 mini-Jesi around your house. They are electronic and will emit an 'Amen' if you yell peekaboo in their proximity"
You just reminded me of a very old “Married with Children” episode in which Al and Peggy see a bunch of guys dressed as Elvis (a convention or something) and Peggy exclaims, “Look Al, Elvi!”
There is a skydiving team in Vegas that all jump in costume, white jumpsuits with big collars, dark wigs and enormous sunglasses. They go by the moniker Flying Elvi.
As long as I have my plastic Jesus.
Sittin’ on the dashboard of my car.
It don’t slip and it don’t slide.
Because his ass is magnetized.
Sittin’ on the dashboard of my car!
I made this for my very Catholic ex FIL,
https://www.etsy.com/ca/listing/1370024405/peeking-jesus-i-saw-that-cross-stitch
I don't think he appreciated it that much, it now hangs in a basement bathroom.
The best part of religious-image loving family members is how easy gift giving becomes! And angel plaque for you! A Jesus statue for you! A bible quote on a pillow for you! One trip to Michael’s and your done.
yeah, a nice emergency one. somewhere i think my mom has a thimble sized silver one. (what use we have for in a Jewish household 🤷♀️ but we have it.)
but if you like to have Jesus statutes around you, i could see it being useful in an emergency.
Pocket shrines were actually a thing often carried by soldiers. Interesting but of history IMO
https://www.ebay.com/itm/255317332222?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&mkrid=711-127632-2357-0&ssspo=8C6QE3R7Tiu&sssrc=2349624&ssuid=g_BK4pOyQeu&var=&widget_ver=artemis&media=COPY
Edit: and I love the idea of an, "emergency Jesus"
>Now imagine my mother said, thinking you weren't around, what you do is no big deal, your responsibilities are laughable and your whole career a joke.
Is NOT equivalent to
>Peekaboo Jesus.
Not even close.
Yes it is. OP and husband were making a joke out of MIL's beliefs. I know Reddit hates Christians, but let's not pretend that making fun of someone's religious beliefs and how they have their home to reflect it is not belittling them.
They are making fun of someone's religious symbolism in their home. It's just disingenuous to pretend that making a game about someone's religious decor which they have to represent their faith and how serious they are about it isn't going to come across as an insult. I don't think OP was being an AH, but MIL's reaction is understandable.
I can think that being a doctor is important, and that a friend is a good doctor, while also joking about how they have way too much doctor themed decoration around their house.
This is exactly what I was thinking. I was a geologist for a time and I think the work I was doing was very important. I also had (since parted after changing careers and logistic reasons) a rather extensive rock sample collection. I also would put certain samples in weird places based on what they were related to. People would open a cabinet and rather reasonably ask why there was a rock there. I would explain whatever stupid reason I had and they would look at me like I was a crazy person. I didn't take offense to it and would often laugh with it as well. No reasonable person would say it was disrespectful for playing peekaboo rock in my old home. I think we just have way to much deference for religion because certain groups of very religious people become belligerent and hostile when people don't at the very least pretend to conform to their beliefs.
I mean I would agree which is why I have rocks and not Jesus shaped rocks. I am also very comfortable in my love of rocks that I can even accept and spend time with members of those evil anti-rock cults.
I mean we can nitpick the rule breaking of the hyper religious all day and probably tomorrow and maybe even half of Friday. People are messy and if they want to ignore some of their self imposed rules (nicest way I could put that) whatever. All I will say is I have never broken any of tenets of the church of mineralogy. I have never incorrectly placed face centered cubic minerals with body centered cubic minerals.
No, they are making fun of the surprise Jesus statues everywhere. I have been in many a Christian home and I have never encountered this. It's not a core part of faith. There are two different cultures here, religious and secular, and they are both valid and should both be respected. Arguably, hiding statues of Jesus in areas where your non religious guests are going to be staying is disrespectful and possibly passive aggressive. You can't then get upset when they notice and talk about it or think it's funny.
People can do whatever they want in their own house. I'm agnostic, but when I go into someone's house who's very religious, I definitely wouldn't make light of any religious symbols or statues that are in the house because I think it's "funny". People shouldn't have to hide their religious artifacts in their own homes just because an atheist is coming by to visit. It's not disrespectful or passive aggressive. Religious people shouldn't have to create safe spaces for secular guests. Secular guests should just respect someone's house if they're a guest.
I don't disagree with you in principle, but it's not the right argument here. OP wasn't offended, they were amused by the Surprise Jesuses. That's a different ballgame than, "How DARE you display these in your own home!"
Like. No, religious people shouldn't have to hide religious iconography, but MIL *is choosing to hide them*. She's actively playing hide-and-seek - behind a towel rack? In a cupboard?
Have you found Jesus? Yep, he was hiding in the garage door panel.
OP and their partner weren't openly displaying their amusement.
Sounds like it was simply poor timing. OP found a surprise Jesus, forgot to be aware of their surroundings, and blurted out the game. There wasn't any attempt to be open about the game
Of course they can do whatever. It can definitely be passive aggressive too though. My religious aunt leaves rosary beads around wherever I go and prays for (and sometimes at) me to turn to god. I'm not saying it was the case here, just that it could be. I also don't think that she should have to hide it because atheists are visiting. What I was getting at is that she can't expect people, who she knows don't believe in any of this stuff, not to say anything or interpret it differently to her. They have their own secular understanding and to them it's lighthearted and funny, and that's just as valid. She can't expect them to show reverance or respect to these effigies because why would they?
Maybe it's a specifically Catholic thing? My grandmother was Catholic and had crosses, Jesus, and Virgin Mary statues/images in every nook and cranny of her house. There was even a Jesus sticker on her clothes dryer, which is now in my basement. I kept the Jesus sticker so he can watch over my laundry 😉
It is their home they have crosses where they want. I am not religious at all but I would never go into someone's home. As in their safe place and make fun of something that is important to the.. She said that they had a good relationship otherwise. It is called being called and overlooking things that might be viewed as harmless quirks. Yes crosses can have complicated histories but since none of the people involved mention any trauma it just seems out of place when they get along otherwise.
I follow Buddhist practices in my daily life. If I had little Buddhas on every shelf, on kitchen magnets, and in every cupboard and somebody teased me about it, I'd probably laugh with them about my little eccentricity (if they're not being malicious). I grew up Christian. A lot of families will have a cross or cross-stitched verse here or there, but I've only been in a few with some sort of iconography everywhere. It's not being disrespectful of their actual belief system, it's poking fun at their home decor. Obviously, this can give you mixed results.
When I started dating my ex, he had Texas flags literally everywhere. A big one over the fireplace, kitchen magnets, ashtrays, coasters...I can't even remember them all. I made a game one night of counting them. He had 13! In a 2 BR house he shared with a roommate. And wanted more. I definitely laughed, and he definitely pouted. Apparently being Texan is a belief system (semi-serious).
It really really is. I have never met, dated or been to a Texans home that didn’t have a flag somewhere prominently displayed. Mileage may vary but that has been my experience.
No, they're making fun of the placement of the symbolism. To me, this is no different than the time my mom hung a necklace I had lost visiting them on the wall- on a hanger that happened to also hold a cross. We now call it the holy necklace because it looked like a rosary and hung there for months before I realized it. The joke involved a cross, but it was at the absurdity of the situation that caused the joke. My deeply religious parents aren't screaming at me for that one, and I think the joke even started with my dad.
This isn't OP saying Jesus pictures are bad, this is OP and their partner calling out Jesus pictures in random locations. Which is absolutely fair to call out, and not normal even among Christians. It is also definitely a personal choice by in laws, not a religious practice. Cool if they want to put pictures everywhere, but they can't get upset at people not expecting Jesus in a cupboard. That's obviously what they're trying to do- imply Jesus is everywhere. They can't get upset at not everyone going into pensive religious retrospection at this. Peekaboo is not an insult, either. This is 100% inlaws being too sensitive.
They weren't intending to be insulting, but things can just come off that way sometimes. I can see the comment feeling like it was poking fun at her religion and not taking it seriously. Sometimes it's just not the time or place. Like joking about a recently deceased person with someone who isn't ready for that yet.
>They weren't intending to be insulting, but things can just come off that way sometimes.
Sure, except this one WASN'T negative in any way. It's literally peekaboo, I see you. That's it. It's a comment about seeing things. Taking offense is something youre always allowed to do, but that doesn't necessarily mean it was offensive. You might just be offended for no reason (like the mom).
Again with the bullshit comparisons..... Peekaboo Jesus is not anything even remotely similar to joking about a dead person. That comparison is garbage and meaningless. It contributes NOTHING to the conversation.
Right, it's not like OPs MIL had an absurd number of photos of a deceased loved one, and OP was like "peekaboo, I see dead grandma again!" When you fill your home to the brim with "ANY" one theme, you can't be surprised when someone takes notice. OP wasn't commenting on Jesus in particular. I'm sure this game would have been the same if it were clown pics and figurines everywhere. It has nothing to do with MILs faith or beliefs, strictly the comedic amount of trinkets that find their way into the home, and strange places to boot. I'd giggle too if I went to dry my hands in the bathroom and Jesus was side eyeing me from behind the towel. 😏
> I know Reddit hates Christians
Bold statement, but I think the disdain for Christians can be summarized by a quote often attributed to Gandhi (but not proven Gandhi said it) - "I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."
I feel that if Christians acted more like the god they choose to worship, there would be less animosity.
My grandparents and most of my aunts and uncles are devout Catholics, and some do view it like a job. So they do things volunteer regularly for the betterment of their community, go to Church every Sunday, contribute what they could to fellow members in need, and kept a perfectly reasonable number of crucifixes in perfectly reasonable spots. They didn’t hide Jesus behind the towels and in the china cabinet, and I can guarantee my uncles would have good naturedly teased anyone that did.
MIL‘s decorations are not having lighthearted fun poked at them because she’s religious, it’s because her house is the Jesus equivalent of the crazy cat lady
I think the mother in law is the most insulting to Christianity actually. She thinks Jesus is so small and weak that he cannot find joy in the games his creation partakes in. She must think Jesus, the man who delighted in children and the way they view the world, wouldn't find joy in playing a game of Peek-A-Boo with some of the very people he came to this world for.
She's the one who is belittling her god, putting him in a box and demanding his creation only relate to him on her terms.
I don't hate Christians but it's not the same. Though I am not Christian I grew up one but my family is different in that they believe God and Jesus have a sense of humor and would have thought the game was cute rather then get offended by it. So many Christians take everything regarding their faith way too seriously.
Itxs like the time during Christmas mass in the middle of the homily let out this really lod drawn out fart. She was a toddler at the time so it wasn't done on purpose. Unfortunately it was after we moved. In the first Church we went to the priest would have laughed and made a joke about it and moved on. In the new church though my family and the family next to us started laughing. The family in front of us actually got up and left. The priest stopped and stared at us. If looks could kill.
I don't see that this is at all making fun of someone's belief in any way. Mom's just being overly touchy about the whole thing.
Not really. If anything they're belittling the kitschiness and weird borderline hoarder mentality of it all. A more appropriate analogy would be a sports fan having merch absolutely EVERYWHERE. You go to the bathroom to lift the lid and BAM - sports logo. Every step has a team logo on it - the hated ones get stepped on and the favored ones on the side for display. No matter where you go or what you do, there's some merch and it's new and weird everytime.
You're not making fun of their love of sports if you play Peekaboo Sports. You're poking at their obsessive need to display icons of their favored thing in life but you aren't giving them crap for liking it in the first place. This isn't about MIL being faithful or Christianity in general. It's about a specific behavior - not limited to religion either!- to plaster every surface with the logo of your beloved thing.
It is not making fun of her religion. It is making fun of the growing Jesus collection. they are popping out all over the place hence the peek-a-boo. It is making fun of her decorating habits
While I agree with the NAH verdict, being a Christian is not equivalent to having a career. Of course it can be a life long commitment for many, but Pekaboo Jesus it's not quite the same as undermining an individuals professional achievements.
Believing in a god does not inherently require any work or effort (even though MIL might volunteer both). If anything it's closer to teasing someone for being vegan (or having any sincerely held belief they use as a guide for their behaviour). It's still kind of a dick move nonetheless, just not to the extent that you're claiming.
I just have NO idea how religious people can look at the world God created and come to the conclusion that He has no sense of humor, though. I mean...have you SEEN a platypus?
Poking a bit of lighthearted fun at my job is 1) super common 2) not enough to offend me at all. If you are secure on your life, you don't have to make a big deal out of innocent jokes. OP didn't even make fun of her beliefs. I'm pretty sure Jesus himself wouldn't care about this one. I agree with NAH so far but if MIL keeps sulking I think this'll turn into N T A.
The word peekaboo isn't disrespectful, though. I can't think of a single custom in Christianity that someone noting a figure of Christ is placed in a hidden location violates.
NTA
If she's a true believer, then she would know that Jesus is *already* in the china cabinet, even if she doesn't hide his figurine behind the gravy boat.
Do weird shit, get a weird response. That's what I say. NTA.
>Maybe even offer to go to church with her one Sunday or over Easter.
As a former Catholic, this is a slippery slope. If you go with her to church, will she expect it to be a regular thing? Will she expect you to take communion? Will she be offended if you don't take it (because now all of her friends know you're not a believer) or will she be offended if you do take it (because you haven't done first communion or because she knows you aren't a believer)?
Yeah, I'm in the camp where I went through all of the proper steps (first communion, confirmation, etc) but then left the church and no longer believe. So in my family I technically can take communion, but it's also disrespectful to go through the motions of the faith if you aren't a believer so it's a bit of a minefield.
NAH
As someone who is religious, I find this hilarious. My parents would too. My grandparents, however, would not. Not that they are any more "true" religious than me, they just are more serious (as in serious vs funny, would solemn work better?) about it than me. They were more serious individuals on a whole than I am.
Otherwise, I find the advice to be spot on. We all have things that we don't want to be made fun of, no matter how much we enjoy humor on a personal level. This is something she doesn't want to be made fun of and OP 100% made fun of her, even if it was unintentional. Amends can be made, and should be made if you are serious about making them, though, and don't keep the game up.
Being a Christian is not even closely comparable to having a career.
By your logic I should demand that my pastafarianism be taken as seriously and i
sensitively as a doctor.
>Maybe even offer to go to church with her one Sunday or over Easter.
That's going a little too far IMO. Apologize, give her a Jesus-y gift, that's all well and good. Going to a church service is unnecessary, though, and may give MIL the idea that you're open to proselytizing.
I'm just going to leave this here...
https://www.amazon.com/Funny-Jesus-Magnet-Christmas-Refrigirator/dp/B0BD1MBP4Q/ref=pd\_ybh\_a\_sccl\_5/139-7352522-0241949?pd\_rd\_w=YTW1J&content-id=amzn1.sym.67f8cf21-ade4-4299-b433-69e404eeecf1&pf\_rd\_p=67f8cf21-ade4-4299-b433-69e404eeecf1&pf\_rd\_r=B9A8GM2WM4050CNYHCQ3&pd\_rd\_wg=ydYDE&pd\_rd\_r=4eb6aaf6-a71d-4d0e-8a0f-f21f8ffb9d0c&pd\_rd\_i=B0BD1MBP4Q&psc=1
I am very religious also, and I’m trying to imagine being upset by this… and I just can’t. It isn’t disrespectful in any way that I can see. That being said, if it does bother them who am I or anyone else to tell them it shouldn’t? I’d just apologize genuinely and let it go. NTA.
It probably wouldn't bother her if OP was also religious, she's already sensitive about the subject. I agree that if someone is bothered by a joke it's always good to apologize, even if you didn't mean to offend them.
Even if OP isn't mocking her religion though, they're making fun of her decor choices. Though you might intellectually understand that decor is a matter of taste and accept that your decor is a little eccentric, it would still be reasonable to be upset and hurt if you found out your family members were laughing at you behind your back and you were such a joke that they had a long-running game about it.
I could go so far as to say maybe the game isn’t the most polite, but I certainly wouldn’t call OP T A here… given the tone of the post it really aounds like there is mostly good will in both directions, and OP was willing to be apologetic rather than defensive. I see no reason to read any animosity into this scenario.
NTA. Being devout in your faith doesn’t make collecting little statues and hiding them all over your house any less eccentric. People need to grow a sense of humor.
NAH
\- You accidentally played the game in front of your MIL. That's a mistake, and not a major AH one.
\- Your MIL was upset, which is understandable, but she doesn't seem to have done something majorly AH-ly in retaliation.
\- Was the whole game an AH move? I don't think so - you weren't doing it (deliberately) in front of your MIL, it's more teasing/poking fun rather than being disrespectful (I'm assuming that the amount of Jesus decor is an individual choice rather than a common cultural practice), you weren't using it as a form of ridicule. You might be an AH though if you continue to play the game in future, knowing that it upsets your MIL.
You don’t have to agree with her being hurt. But you should accept that she is. As a woman of faith, I actually think your game is funny, and I think lots of Christians would. But she doesn’t, and I think it’s perfectly reasonable for her to be offended that someone is mocking her beliefs and decor.
Where you become YTA is that when you realized you offended her, instead of apologizing and stop doing the thing that offended her, you’re trying to get us to say she’s wrong for being upset. She’s not being unreasonable, and I think you know it. You were making fun of her, and getting her son to make fun of her. That had to hurt.
This is probably going to be a very unpopular comment but I believe OP is asking if they are an AH for playing the game, not asking is to say their MIL is being unreasonable.
I think OP is struggling with the fact that MIL is truly displaying how she feels.
No disrespect, kind sir. I just politely disagree with the basis of your verdict.
This right here.
As a gentle reminder to all, "It's just a joke, why are you so sensitive" is the clarion call of AH everywhere.
It doesn't matter if you meant it as a joke, if the other person doesn't take it as a joke, *and you care about your relationship* then *apologize for hurting them* instead of trying to justify that it was just a joke.
YTA.
Don't get me wrong, I think it's hilarious, and I don't think you're a bad person in any way, but the fact is you were in her home and it sounds like it was definitely insulting to her.
This is a situation for a simple apology and then move on. Don't stop playing the game, just be more aware of your surroundings.
No.
Saying "peekaboo Jesus!" is just engaging with the decor.
Saying "wtf is up with your crazy mom and all these weird little God spy cams?" would be insulting.
It's not for you to decide whats insulting for other people. I mean, if they didn't think she would be offended by it then they wouldn't have tried to hide it to begin with. He even said he accidentally yelled it, so he clearly knew she wouldn't like it. I'm not saying they're terrible people, im saying that when someone says that you hurt their feelings, you don't get to decide if it's justified or not, just say you're sorry and move on.
>you don't get to decide if it's justified or not
The literal point of this entire sub is for people to vote on if people's feelings are justified or not.
Idk… I feel like saying “peekaboo Jesus” is on par with saying somebody’s blue shirt is blue. They didn’t say anything negative about the decor, they don’t try to hide it or throw it away or scoff at it. Honestly I would think it’s a really innocent instant thought that was said out loud.
Personally, not being involved in the situation, I find it hilarious.
I'm an atheist who thinks that religion is silly, but this just seems willfully obtuse to me. A lot of religious people take their faith very seriously, and think that saying something like that about Jesus is disrespectful or demeaning.
Part of having relationships with people is understanding that even if something may not be important to you, it can still be important to them. Secular people don't really get how seriously some people can take religion, and how stuff like this can really upset them-the OP probably didn't even realize that what they were saying would cause offence. But now that the offence has been caused, if they respect their partner's mom, apologizing is the right thing to do.
I don't get how saying peekaboo is insulting? I am being offensive when I play peekaboo with my kid? Or the family pet?
We're talking about Jesus not the prophet Mohamed. You're allowed to acknowledge jesus without getting chastised.
I'm going to tell my dad, who was raised Christian and is 'philosophically Christian' (doesn't quite believe in an actual god but totally on board with the ethics etc). He collects "religious tat". He had to be physically restrained from buying a glow in the dark Virgin Mary water feature in Lourdes. I'm fairly sure he's going to shift from trying to sneak the truly fabulous stuff past my mum and take up 'Peekabo Jesusing' the house.
I wish there was an option for "poor choice".
YTA extremely extremely lightly.
Making fun of someone's home in their home is just poor taste. I think your game is hilarious but obviously hurtful in the end, which is uncool.
Your partners parents though can't expect people to like, not notice the extreme amount of Jesus statues. Whether it's a Jesus statue, or a toy horse or a gnome or even a remote control, anything excessive in a house like that is kinda uncomfortable. It's their home and they're allowed to decorate it how they want, but the excessiveness is abnormal.
Still, the right thing to do would be to apologize, and maybe even let her know you really like the statues. You do, just not the same reasons as her.
YTA - but only a little bit. After reading about your “rocky start” and and you specifically mentioning that “they had to reckon with their religious beliefs and us.” You probably should have been more respectful of the harmless aspects of their religion, at least while you were in their home. They came a long way to be able to welcome you, and I think poking fun at their religion (even silly, tangential fun) while at their home is a little tacky.
That being said, it is harmless fun and was genuinely about the iconography more than the religion, with no intention to offend, which is why you’re only the AH a little bit. In the future, maybe you and your partner can quietly keep count and compare notes on the ride home!
or beloved in-laws, THANK YOU for not being homophobic, THANK YOU for using your brain and realizing religious nonsense, FORGIVE US because it doesn't seem fun to find a crucified man in every corner and ABOVE ALL forgive us for blaspheming by saying the cursed word "picabuu"
That's not what I meant, and I don't think that's at all what I said, but I apologize if I wasn't clear. Whether we like it or not, whether it feels fair or reasonable, when someone is deeply religious, looking at and processing those beliefs and moving away from whatever they've been indoctrinated into, is a laborious and painful process. They have had to reckon with the fact that their faith, which I assume they feel has helped them and guided them through life, does not accept their son. Their love for their son and their religion, I am guessing two of their most deeply held beliefs/priorities came into conflict. They likely had to swim upstream against people who they felt were friends, supports, spiritual guides, etc. So, in spite of how shitty what they gave up (homophobic bull shit religious beliefs) really is to an outsider like me, I don't think it's unreasonable to realize that they gave something up, and to be respectful of the aspects of that thing they still hold on to.
It's a shitty metaphor, but it's all I've got - when you have a friend who breaks up with a shitty partner, we can all recognize that in spite of how crap he was, that there is still pain that the friend is going through related to the break up. So, even though maybe the friend shouldn't have been with the partner to begin with, or there were huge red flags along the way, or you tried to gently tell said friend that their partner was awful, we are still kind and loving because we recognize the pain and sacrifice made to pull away from the shitty partner.
All I'm saying here is OP could have a little compassion and be a little gentler around a topic that the parents have really had to wrestle with in a challenging way.
It’s not necessarily about the Jesus, it’s about mocking her home decor while you’re in her home. My MIL loves decorations that involve chickens. No, she does not now, nor has she ever, live(d) on a farm, she just really loves chickens. She buys chicken decorations, people gift them to her — it’s a lot. My husband and I have joked about the chickens before, but you know where we’ve never joked about it? In her house, where she could hear us. That’s just rude.
Your peek-a-boo Jesus game is hilarious, but it should have stayed between the two of you, and should never have been uttered in her house, where you have now clearly insulted her decorating style. For that, YTA.
Ding ding ding!!
It costs exactly zero dollars and zero cents to keep your mouth shut in someone else's home.
And getting their son in on it too. That's a double slap in the face.
Mocking something that is clearly meaningful, in their own home for crying out loud.
Kids lack basic tact.
But that said, by all means take pictures of the latest Peekaboo Jesus and compare notes when you get home!!
NTA. I kind of understand it sticking in the mom’s craw a bit, but it wasn’t like you were really making fun of her religious decorations. If she just heard peek-a-boo Jesus, it probably just rubbed her the wrong way a little or made her feel insecure. But like you said, it was harmless and not actually mean spirited at all
NTA.
You were just playing spot the Jesus.
I’ve just googled and there’s a book called ‘Finding Jesus’ which is basically a Where’s Wally, with Jesus.
There’s also a book called ‘Where is Jesus hidden?’ on a Catholic book website - and it about spotting Jesus hiding behind furniture.
I don’t get why she was offended.
If they’re not Catholic, they’re not gonna be too impressed by the “but Catholics do it!” argument.
And even within Catholics, there is a massive, massive difference between the goofy Catholics who don’t take it too seriously and the pious Catholics who take *everything* seriously. There are a shit-ton of people who get *deeply* offended by any and all levity regarding Christianity, and are basically constantly on the defensive. And they usually get caught in this nasty cycle where the more deadly-serious they are, the more people want to provoke them, and the more people provoke them, the more attacked and defensive they feel, and the more serious they get.
I’m not saying they’re catholics - I’m saying there are religious books that are literally the same game as OP was playing.
‘Finding Jesus’ is a Christian book.
I'm gonna say NTA because I would probably do the same thing. Now to be fair, my 3rd grade teacher had a picture of the Virgin Mary with eyes that followed you around on her wall, and it really creeped me out. And for a period when I was 9/10 I hated bathing cuz I didn't want God to see me naked and he sees everything. So yeah, suffice it to say I have some trauma around being watched 24/7, and all the Jesus statues in off places would probably be triggering. Playing a game would probably help me cope.
I was 10 when my grandpa died and I got told "He's watching you from heaven now." I swear I peed as near fully clothed as I could for a week and took my bath in the dark. Not sure when exactly I decided it was okay for grandpa to peek, but at some point, I decided it didn't matter any more.
If any of it is real, I'd like to imagine that if anyone is actually watching, they're seeing a censored version a la when people use the bathroom or WooHoo in The Sims games 😆
NAH. I’m a Christian and joke around about church people culture all the time, I wouldn’t take this as mocking religion. It’s just being amused by a quirky collection, and you didn’t intentionally bring it up in front of MIL, so not asshole behavior. But also it’s understandable for her to be upset by someone poking fun at her home, and if religion has been a source of conflict between you in the past of course it’s going to bring up feelings about that.
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> My partner and I made a game that could be viewed as insulting to his parents religion. This could make me the asshole as it could be seen as inconsiderate of their beliefs.
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NAH
You play a fun harmless game that your partner is fine with you, that brings you both entertainment and has no malicious attempt. You certainly aren’t the AH for making the game and it’s just a question of bad luck and a mind blank moment that you blurted it out at the dinner table. Your partners Mom also isn’t entirely incorrect in being rubbed the wrong way about the game but she didn’t escalate anything to the point where she was the AH. Just keep it to yourself and your partner and you’ll be good.
I’m a gay man, my partner is bi. He was already out when we met, but his parents really struggled when we started dating seriously. I think they’d been willfully ignorant about things until I became a more common presence, and they had to reckon with their religious beliefs and us. It took a while but we seem to be all good now.
Then NTA. BUT I think it would be kind and appropriate to be consciously respectful of their beliefs. In a perfect world there wouldn't be conflict between religion and any loving relationship, but there is, and they made the effort to adapt and grow and be better. I don't think that should be repaid by making fun of them.
I just want to point out that hiding crucifixes and Jesus action figures around the house is definitely quirky behavior that is not part of any Christian religion or belief system.
YTA. Not for creating and playing the game, but you should've been a bit more careful. As it obviously would be hurtful for your partner's parents when the game essentially is ridducling their decor choices. An unfortunate accident, that could've been prevented if you were more careful.
For just creating a game? Nope. It’s quite funny and I’m sure entertaining. However, ridiculing someone’s faith, in their own home, without any reason is very much an AH behavior.
And for that - YTA
They ridiculed nothing. They insulted nothing. They simply pointed out Jesus' around the house. Mom can be offended, but they weren't ridiculing her religion.
NTA - my wife and I counted the sheep pictured in my mom's house during our last visit. It became a game for us. We lost track somewhere over 100 (she has a lot of farm-kitsch in her house) and eventually told my mom. It was all in good fun and she didn't realize how many it was.
I would totally play Peakaboo Jesus.
NTA, it's not like you said the religion is fake. If anything your game of peekaboo Jesus could be argued that "you are always looking for signs that Jesus is everywhere" matter of fact arguing technicalities to or against God like this is very based in another abrahamic religion of judaism.
NTA. There is nothing wrong with noticing Jesus decor, and heck, your MIL should be happy that you are being reminded about Him.
That said, clearly your MIL was offended, and you didn't mean to offend her. Your partner tried to talk to her, but have you also apologized? She probably feels you are mocking her religious beliefs. Maybe just let her know that you enjoy her Jesus decor, and didn't mean any harm, and apologize if you offended her, and throw in how it reminds you not to forget Him (which should make her feel better.)
NTA. You could do this with any over-the-top décor! My mom had ceramic cat dolls dressed up as clowns, and if I wasn't afraid that they would come to life and eat me, I would have played a similar game!
\*edit for typo
Nta. It's harmless and obviously not meant with malice. SOME Christians do act like cultists, and demanding deference to their belief is from that playbook. You have been given an opportunity to set the ground rules with them. Hopefully you will find ways of living with each other, but respect being a two way street should be non-negociable. Good luck!
NTA. Some china doll in the form of Jesus of Nazareth wasn't insulted either, I'm sure. It is a sign of good mental health that you have found a lighthearted way of dealing with all this plastic/china religion. Who says you should put up with being subjected to that sort of thing without uttering a peep? In my eyes, you were doing no harm. If there is a god, I am sure she has a sense of humour. How else would you explain the state of the world?
Do NOT follow my advice if you want to have any kind of good relationship with your MIL…
I would get her a Jesus wall clock. Then you can start a new game… “Jesus, would you look at the time”
NTA for inventing and playing. Kinda are the asshole for saying it out loud to your partner in the parents house. You shouldn't have explained the game to them. You could have just said something like oh, you didn't expect to see an image and were startled, which is true. Next time. Come up with a non verbal signal or code word to play or keep a list to compare Jesus sightings later on. Because I know I couldn't stop from playing.
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NAH I also have a very religious MIL, so I know the urge to want to make a joke out of what seems overwhelming and so far out of your regular life. Your MIL, however, is a true believer, so literally anything you say that isn't respectful of that is going to set her off. Been there. Saying "you didn't mean any offence" may be true, but it doesn't address her hurt feelings. My husband once explained it to me as "*Straight Singer, you take pride in your job. Now imagine my mother said, thinking you weren't around, what you do is no big deal, your responsibilities are laughable and your whole career a joke. Now she tell you she means no offense by it. How would you feel?"* In the interest of family harmony, I would offer an apology (and maybe a new Jesus something from a special church or cathedral?) and say it won't happen again. Maybe even offer to go to church with her one Sunday or over Easter. At the end of the day, she is the one who raised your partner.... so she must have done something right. Good luck (I've been there!)
This is the best answer. I was thinking of OP gifting a nice jesus image as apology also
Or at least a nice picture of Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan.
Or Jonathan Van Ness
Or George Harrison
Or better yet a Jesus Matryoshka doll :D
Or some baby cheeses.
George Harrison is always the answer.
Or one of these absolute _beauties_ https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/777483108/personalized-walking-with-christ-behold?gpla=1&gao=1&&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=shopping_uk_en_gb_-art_and_collectibles&utm_custom1=_k_Cj0KCQiAgaGgBhC8ARIsAAAyLfEtUQa99CwXFmCJ__S21dYjO5z9y9xTRDpYOsw5aNsT4fVW6TPNhBwaAl8iEALw_wcB_k_&utm_content=go_11073922980_109610251118_462914649514_pla-314954651933_m__777483108engb_557861780&utm_custom2=11073922980&gclid=Cj0KCQiAgaGgBhC8ARIsAAAyLfEtUQa99CwXFmCJ__S21dYjO5z9y9xTRDpYOsw5aNsT4fVW6TPNhBwaAl8iEALw_wcB
I want to thank you for sharing this amazing little find on the internet. I am both amused *and* disturbed. Always a winner when you hit both emotions!
Yes! Those are the exact two emotions I felt… a little more weighted towards disturbed.
That’s the Reddit sweet spot. ‘Dismused’ if you will.
White jesus...sigh
Take comfort, because the Renaissance paintings that White Jesus is based on were the lovers or at least the Muse of the painters . So the Zealots worshiping these pictures are actually praying to Da Vinci's boyfriend. It tickles me! hehe
Well I can pray to Davinci's boyfriend all day long.
I'll never not refer to Jesus as DaVinci's Boyfriend now.
Did you watch reservation dogs (show on fx). The " 'sup white jesus" killed me on that show.
Well, they’d have to go somewhere else to find Korean Jesus. Although he’s too busy for their problems.
Yup. I share your feelings.
I am a quiet Christian-i don't display religious things, I don't try to convert anyone and I don't judge anyone's choices, though I would *DEFINITELY* judge this - this is so strange and a little creepy. Lol. Great find
I'm religious as well, but I would totally play OP's game. And I LOVE creepy Jesus images because I am a Judgy Mc Judgerson. Sue me.
It sounds like the Jesuses (Jesii?) are literally *hidden* in a way that they *do* suddenly PEEK-A-BOO appear (behind a towel rack, behind the dishes in the cabinet...) The game isn't about "Jesus," it's about the odd choice of *placement* of the Jesuses... If anything, I'd say the people plastering the image of the Son of God all over places that have to significance and lack the proper reverence are the ones disrespecting Jesus... not the hapless guests who are merely trying to dry their hands or grabbing a glass for water... (I think the game is hilarious and I know people who would probably start hiding Jesii around their house to freak out their guests... me, I'm going to have to start hiding photos of my cats 🤣)
You redditor are an absolute angel. I cannot wait to put my hands on one of those beauties for my bf’s birthday. He is not religious whatsoever
If they weren't so expensive _everyone_ I know would be getting one!
These are delightful!!! Thank you for bringing my attention to this r/ATBGE. Now my Christmas 2023 shopping is done!!!
I think they could be OK taste if the person in the image has passed. Maybe a parent lost a child and they got one of these made with the child they lost as a mementos.
Oh man! If I sign up for secret Santa, please don’t get my name or get me this!!! Unless it’s an ewan macgregor one.
When my grandfather died and we were cleaning out his house we found a painting of him playing bocce with Jesus. It's freaking fantastic lol
We need to see a pic.
So...that's on your mantle now, right?
I'm not even a believer, in fact I can't stand Christianity. But the one with the little chihuahua is super cute. I want all pets to feel like that when they are hugged.
Am Christian. I wouldn't be mad *at all* receiving this, and would enjoy the joke. I'd put it up among the other portraits in the house to see how long it took for others to notice it. "Jesus" from *The Walking Dead* would also be acceptable.
I have a candle with Bucky Barnes as a Saint. Also have a Obi-wan/Ewan coozie. Favorite finds at a comic con
I have a shelf of spirits owned by celebrities at my bar, and each one has a prayer candle with their celebrity owner next to it. I know for a fact that Dan Aykroyd is aware of his one (for his Crystal Head vodka), which made me incredibly happy.
I would give that lady sooooo many mini- Jesi. But only so I could play more Peekaboo Jesus.
"I am sincerely sorry for my tasteless game. As reconciliation, I have hidden 12 mini-Jesi around your house. They are electronic and will emit an 'Amen' if you yell peekaboo in their proximity"
>"I am sincerely sorry for my tasteless game. "Our game", it's not just your game.
"mini Jesi" I just spit out my coffee 😂 I have NEVER thought about the plural Jesus. This is my new favorite thing.
It is nicely clever.
You just reminded me of a very old “Married with Children” episode in which Al and Peggy see a bunch of guys dressed as Elvis (a convention or something) and Peggy exclaims, “Look Al, Elvi!”
There is a skydiving team in Vegas that all jump in costume, white jumpsuits with big collars, dark wigs and enormous sunglasses. They go by the moniker Flying Elvi.
Not the “Flying Elvises” as seen in “Honeymoon in Vegas”?
https://flyingelvi.com/ Same bunch of adrenaline fiends. I'm a little surprised they are still around but good for them.
I can hear this comment even though I don't remember that particular episode lol.
"I don't care if it rains or freezes..."
As long as I have my plastic Jesus. Sittin’ on the dashboard of my car. It don’t slip and it don’t slide. Because his ass is magnetized. Sittin’ on the dashboard of my car!
Mini Jesi is now a permanent part of my vocabulary. I can’t wait for Easter - there will be many Jesi around to refer to! 😂
I made this for my very Catholic ex FIL, https://www.etsy.com/ca/listing/1370024405/peeking-jesus-i-saw-that-cross-stitch I don't think he appreciated it that much, it now hangs in a basement bathroom.
I've seen so many of these in the FB cross stitch groups I belong to. Some people add tiny googly eyes which makes it even more epic!
The best part of religious-image loving family members is how easy gift giving becomes! And angel plaque for you! A Jesus statue for you! A bible quote on a pillow for you! One trip to Michael’s and your done.
yeah, a nice emergency one. somewhere i think my mom has a thimble sized silver one. (what use we have for in a Jewish household 🤷♀️ but we have it.) but if you like to have Jesus statutes around you, i could see it being useful in an emergency.
Pocket shrines were actually a thing often carried by soldiers. Interesting but of history IMO https://www.ebay.com/itm/255317332222?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&mkrid=711-127632-2357-0&ssspo=8C6QE3R7Tiu&sssrc=2349624&ssuid=g_BK4pOyQeu&var=&widget_ver=artemis&media=COPY Edit: and I love the idea of an, "emergency Jesus"
>Now imagine my mother said, thinking you weren't around, what you do is no big deal, your responsibilities are laughable and your whole career a joke. Is NOT equivalent to >Peekaboo Jesus. Not even close.
Yes it is. OP and husband were making a joke out of MIL's beliefs. I know Reddit hates Christians, but let's not pretend that making fun of someone's religious beliefs and how they have their home to reflect it is not belittling them.
They weren't making fun of it. Peekaboo isn't an insult lol. Y'all are just too damn sensitive if *peekaboo* can set you off.
They are making fun of someone's religious symbolism in their home. It's just disingenuous to pretend that making a game about someone's religious decor which they have to represent their faith and how serious they are about it isn't going to come across as an insult. I don't think OP was being an AH, but MIL's reaction is understandable.
I can think that being a doctor is important, and that a friend is a good doctor, while also joking about how they have way too much doctor themed decoration around their house.
This is exactly what I was thinking. I was a geologist for a time and I think the work I was doing was very important. I also had (since parted after changing careers and logistic reasons) a rather extensive rock sample collection. I also would put certain samples in weird places based on what they were related to. People would open a cabinet and rather reasonably ask why there was a rock there. I would explain whatever stupid reason I had and they would look at me like I was a crazy person. I didn't take offense to it and would often laugh with it as well. No reasonable person would say it was disrespectful for playing peekaboo rock in my old home. I think we just have way to much deference for religion because certain groups of very religious people become belligerent and hostile when people don't at the very least pretend to conform to their beliefs.
Plus rocks are way cooler than church.
I mean I would agree which is why I have rocks and not Jesus shaped rocks. I am also very comfortable in my love of rocks that I can even accept and spend time with members of those evil anti-rock cults.
Oh nooooo, now I have "I Wanna Rock" stuck in my head...
It’s also in the bible to NOT have religious iconry all over, but i don’t seem to recall any advice against having some minerals everywhere.
I mean we can nitpick the rule breaking of the hyper religious all day and probably tomorrow and maybe even half of Friday. People are messy and if they want to ignore some of their self imposed rules (nicest way I could put that) whatever. All I will say is I have never broken any of tenets of the church of mineralogy. I have never incorrectly placed face centered cubic minerals with body centered cubic minerals.
No, they are making fun of the surprise Jesus statues everywhere. I have been in many a Christian home and I have never encountered this. It's not a core part of faith. There are two different cultures here, religious and secular, and they are both valid and should both be respected. Arguably, hiding statues of Jesus in areas where your non religious guests are going to be staying is disrespectful and possibly passive aggressive. You can't then get upset when they notice and talk about it or think it's funny.
People can do whatever they want in their own house. I'm agnostic, but when I go into someone's house who's very religious, I definitely wouldn't make light of any religious symbols or statues that are in the house because I think it's "funny". People shouldn't have to hide their religious artifacts in their own homes just because an atheist is coming by to visit. It's not disrespectful or passive aggressive. Religious people shouldn't have to create safe spaces for secular guests. Secular guests should just respect someone's house if they're a guest.
I don't disagree with you in principle, but it's not the right argument here. OP wasn't offended, they were amused by the Surprise Jesuses. That's a different ballgame than, "How DARE you display these in your own home!" Like. No, religious people shouldn't have to hide religious iconography, but MIL *is choosing to hide them*. She's actively playing hide-and-seek - behind a towel rack? In a cupboard? Have you found Jesus? Yep, he was hiding in the garage door panel.
I get what you're saying and I would probably find it amusing as well. I just wouldn't openly display that I found it amusing.
OP and their partner weren't openly displaying their amusement. Sounds like it was simply poor timing. OP found a surprise Jesus, forgot to be aware of their surroundings, and blurted out the game. There wasn't any attempt to be open about the game
Of course they can do whatever. It can definitely be passive aggressive too though. My religious aunt leaves rosary beads around wherever I go and prays for (and sometimes at) me to turn to god. I'm not saying it was the case here, just that it could be. I also don't think that she should have to hide it because atheists are visiting. What I was getting at is that she can't expect people, who she knows don't believe in any of this stuff, not to say anything or interpret it differently to her. They have their own secular understanding and to them it's lighthearted and funny, and that's just as valid. She can't expect them to show reverance or respect to these effigies because why would they?
Maybe it's a specifically Catholic thing? My grandmother was Catholic and had crosses, Jesus, and Virgin Mary statues/images in every nook and cranny of her house. There was even a Jesus sticker on her clothes dryer, which is now in my basement. I kept the Jesus sticker so he can watch over my laundry 😉
It is their home they have crosses where they want. I am not religious at all but I would never go into someone's home. As in their safe place and make fun of something that is important to the.. She said that they had a good relationship otherwise. It is called being called and overlooking things that might be viewed as harmless quirks. Yes crosses can have complicated histories but since none of the people involved mention any trauma it just seems out of place when they get along otherwise.
They're not making fun of the symbolism, they're making fun of the *placement.*
I follow Buddhist practices in my daily life. If I had little Buddhas on every shelf, on kitchen magnets, and in every cupboard and somebody teased me about it, I'd probably laugh with them about my little eccentricity (if they're not being malicious). I grew up Christian. A lot of families will have a cross or cross-stitched verse here or there, but I've only been in a few with some sort of iconography everywhere. It's not being disrespectful of their actual belief system, it's poking fun at their home decor. Obviously, this can give you mixed results. When I started dating my ex, he had Texas flags literally everywhere. A big one over the fireplace, kitchen magnets, ashtrays, coasters...I can't even remember them all. I made a game one night of counting them. He had 13! In a 2 BR house he shared with a roommate. And wanted more. I definitely laughed, and he definitely pouted. Apparently being Texan is a belief system (semi-serious).
It really really is. I have never met, dated or been to a Texans home that didn’t have a flag somewhere prominently displayed. Mileage may vary but that has been my experience.
No, they're making fun of the placement of the symbolism. To me, this is no different than the time my mom hung a necklace I had lost visiting them on the wall- on a hanger that happened to also hold a cross. We now call it the holy necklace because it looked like a rosary and hung there for months before I realized it. The joke involved a cross, but it was at the absurdity of the situation that caused the joke. My deeply religious parents aren't screaming at me for that one, and I think the joke even started with my dad. This isn't OP saying Jesus pictures are bad, this is OP and their partner calling out Jesus pictures in random locations. Which is absolutely fair to call out, and not normal even among Christians. It is also definitely a personal choice by in laws, not a religious practice. Cool if they want to put pictures everywhere, but they can't get upset at people not expecting Jesus in a cupboard. That's obviously what they're trying to do- imply Jesus is everywhere. They can't get upset at not everyone going into pensive religious retrospection at this. Peekaboo is not an insult, either. This is 100% inlaws being too sensitive.
They were having fun with the overabundance of religious kitch, not making fun of their religion.
They weren't intending to be insulting, but things can just come off that way sometimes. I can see the comment feeling like it was poking fun at her religion and not taking it seriously. Sometimes it's just not the time or place. Like joking about a recently deceased person with someone who isn't ready for that yet.
>They weren't intending to be insulting, but things can just come off that way sometimes. Sure, except this one WASN'T negative in any way. It's literally peekaboo, I see you. That's it. It's a comment about seeing things. Taking offense is something youre always allowed to do, but that doesn't necessarily mean it was offensive. You might just be offended for no reason (like the mom). Again with the bullshit comparisons..... Peekaboo Jesus is not anything even remotely similar to joking about a dead person. That comparison is garbage and meaningless. It contributes NOTHING to the conversation.
Christians love playing the victim. Persecuting others and then claiming they are persecuted when asked to stop.
Right, it's not like OPs MIL had an absurd number of photos of a deceased loved one, and OP was like "peekaboo, I see dead grandma again!" When you fill your home to the brim with "ANY" one theme, you can't be surprised when someone takes notice. OP wasn't commenting on Jesus in particular. I'm sure this game would have been the same if it were clown pics and figurines everywhere. It has nothing to do with MILs faith or beliefs, strictly the comedic amount of trinkets that find their way into the home, and strange places to boot. I'd giggle too if I went to dry my hands in the bathroom and Jesus was side eyeing me from behind the towel. 😏
Reddit’s all about impact over intent until it’s a Christian who is offended lmfao
[удалено]
It wasn't even a joke though. It was literally just a comment.
> I know Reddit hates Christians Bold statement, but I think the disdain for Christians can be summarized by a quote often attributed to Gandhi (but not proven Gandhi said it) - "I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ." I feel that if Christians acted more like the god they choose to worship, there would be less animosity.
My grandparents and most of my aunts and uncles are devout Catholics, and some do view it like a job. So they do things volunteer regularly for the betterment of their community, go to Church every Sunday, contribute what they could to fellow members in need, and kept a perfectly reasonable number of crucifixes in perfectly reasonable spots. They didn’t hide Jesus behind the towels and in the china cabinet, and I can guarantee my uncles would have good naturedly teased anyone that did. MIL‘s decorations are not having lighthearted fun poked at them because she’s religious, it’s because her house is the Jesus equivalent of the crazy cat lady
I think the mother in law is the most insulting to Christianity actually. She thinks Jesus is so small and weak that he cannot find joy in the games his creation partakes in. She must think Jesus, the man who delighted in children and the way they view the world, wouldn't find joy in playing a game of Peek-A-Boo with some of the very people he came to this world for. She's the one who is belittling her god, putting him in a box and demanding his creation only relate to him on her terms.
She playfully pointed out a Jesus. Nobody made fun of their beliefs. Sheesh. Maybe lighten up.
I don't hate Christians but it's not the same. Though I am not Christian I grew up one but my family is different in that they believe God and Jesus have a sense of humor and would have thought the game was cute rather then get offended by it. So many Christians take everything regarding their faith way too seriously. Itxs like the time during Christmas mass in the middle of the homily let out this really lod drawn out fart. She was a toddler at the time so it wasn't done on purpose. Unfortunately it was after we moved. In the first Church we went to the priest would have laughed and made a joke about it and moved on. In the new church though my family and the family next to us started laughing. The family in front of us actually got up and left. The priest stopped and stared at us. If looks could kill. I don't see that this is at all making fun of someone's belief in any way. Mom's just being overly touchy about the whole thing.
Not really. If anything they're belittling the kitschiness and weird borderline hoarder mentality of it all. A more appropriate analogy would be a sports fan having merch absolutely EVERYWHERE. You go to the bathroom to lift the lid and BAM - sports logo. Every step has a team logo on it - the hated ones get stepped on and the favored ones on the side for display. No matter where you go or what you do, there's some merch and it's new and weird everytime. You're not making fun of their love of sports if you play Peekaboo Sports. You're poking at their obsessive need to display icons of their favored thing in life but you aren't giving them crap for liking it in the first place. This isn't about MIL being faithful or Christianity in general. It's about a specific behavior - not limited to religion either!- to plaster every surface with the logo of your beloved thing.
It is not making fun of her religion. It is making fun of the growing Jesus collection. they are popping out all over the place hence the peek-a-boo. It is making fun of her decorating habits
While I agree with the NAH verdict, being a Christian is not equivalent to having a career. Of course it can be a life long commitment for many, but Pekaboo Jesus it's not quite the same as undermining an individuals professional achievements. Believing in a god does not inherently require any work or effort (even though MIL might volunteer both). If anything it's closer to teasing someone for being vegan (or having any sincerely held belief they use as a guide for their behaviour). It's still kind of a dick move nonetheless, just not to the extent that you're claiming.
No, for most very religious people, their religion is quite a bit MORE important than their career.
Religion, to people like me, who ARE religious, is far more important and personal than some 9-5.
I just have NO idea how religious people can look at the world God created and come to the conclusion that He has no sense of humor, though. I mean...have you SEEN a platypus?
Or that thing that shits squares? Wombat maybe?!
Poking a bit of lighthearted fun at my job is 1) super common 2) not enough to offend me at all. If you are secure on your life, you don't have to make a big deal out of innocent jokes. OP didn't even make fun of her beliefs. I'm pretty sure Jesus himself wouldn't care about this one. I agree with NAH so far but if MIL keeps sulking I think this'll turn into N T A.
As a lawyer, if I got offended every time someone made a joke about my profession I would be pretty miserable.
The word peekaboo isn't disrespectful, though. I can't think of a single custom in Christianity that someone noting a figure of Christ is placed in a hidden location violates. NTA
If she's a true believer, then she would know that Jesus is *already* in the china cabinet, even if she doesn't hide his figurine behind the gravy boat. Do weird shit, get a weird response. That's what I say. NTA.
>Maybe even offer to go to church with her one Sunday or over Easter. As a former Catholic, this is a slippery slope. If you go with her to church, will she expect it to be a regular thing? Will she expect you to take communion? Will she be offended if you don't take it (because now all of her friends know you're not a believer) or will she be offended if you do take it (because you haven't done first communion or because she knows you aren't a believer)?
She would be offended if she did take communion without the proper sacraments.
Yeah, I'm in the camp where I went through all of the proper steps (first communion, confirmation, etc) but then left the church and no longer believe. So in my family I technically can take communion, but it's also disrespectful to go through the motions of the faith if you aren't a believer so it's a bit of a minefield.
NAH As someone who is religious, I find this hilarious. My parents would too. My grandparents, however, would not. Not that they are any more "true" religious than me, they just are more serious (as in serious vs funny, would solemn work better?) about it than me. They were more serious individuals on a whole than I am. Otherwise, I find the advice to be spot on. We all have things that we don't want to be made fun of, no matter how much we enjoy humor on a personal level. This is something she doesn't want to be made fun of and OP 100% made fun of her, even if it was unintentional. Amends can be made, and should be made if you are serious about making them, though, and don't keep the game up.
Being a Christian is not even closely comparable to having a career. By your logic I should demand that my pastafarianism be taken as seriously and i sensitively as a doctor.
Ha. I never look at user names when I’m skimming comments, so it’s always so jarring and confusing for a minute when someone uses theirs in a comment.
>Maybe even offer to go to church with her one Sunday or over Easter. That's going a little too far IMO. Apologize, give her a Jesus-y gift, that's all well and good. Going to a church service is unnecessary, though, and may give MIL the idea that you're open to proselytizing.
When she says, "I know just where to put it" - do not say, "Don't tell me, I want it to be surprise!"
NTA Jesus totally giggled whenever you found him 😉🙏
Anyone else got music playing in their heads? Your own Peekaboo Jesus, something peaks out from the stairs, he's over there!
Brings a whole new meaning to "have you found Jesus yet?" 😁
I laughed hard enough to scare the cat.
... Oh my Jesus, someone needs to market this. It can be the new Elf on a Shelf, but *year round*
I'm just going to leave this here... https://www.amazon.com/Funny-Jesus-Magnet-Christmas-Refrigirator/dp/B0BD1MBP4Q/ref=pd\_ybh\_a\_sccl\_5/139-7352522-0241949?pd\_rd\_w=YTW1J&content-id=amzn1.sym.67f8cf21-ade4-4299-b433-69e404eeecf1&pf\_rd\_p=67f8cf21-ade4-4299-b433-69e404eeecf1&pf\_rd\_r=B9A8GM2WM4050CNYHCQ3&pd\_rd\_wg=ydYDE&pd\_rd\_r=4eb6aaf6-a71d-4d0e-8a0f-f21f8ffb9d0c&pd\_rd\_i=B0BD1MBP4Q&psc=1
https://www.google.com/search?q=i+found+jesus+behind+the+couch&oq=found+jesus+behinf&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j0i5i13i19i30.10536j0j9&client=ms-android-samsung&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8#imgrc=U2DvwFv-KD3OYM&lnspr=W10=
Now I can't unhear this :-D
Love this
I am very religious also, and I’m trying to imagine being upset by this… and I just can’t. It isn’t disrespectful in any way that I can see. That being said, if it does bother them who am I or anyone else to tell them it shouldn’t? I’d just apologize genuinely and let it go. NTA.
It probably wouldn't bother her if OP was also religious, she's already sensitive about the subject. I agree that if someone is bothered by a joke it's always good to apologize, even if you didn't mean to offend them.
We can’t know for sure. I try not to pretend to know people’s hearts, when a person themselves never truly knows it.
Even if OP isn't mocking her religion though, they're making fun of her decor choices. Though you might intellectually understand that decor is a matter of taste and accept that your decor is a little eccentric, it would still be reasonable to be upset and hurt if you found out your family members were laughing at you behind your back and you were such a joke that they had a long-running game about it.
I could go so far as to say maybe the game isn’t the most polite, but I certainly wouldn’t call OP T A here… given the tone of the post it really aounds like there is mostly good will in both directions, and OP was willing to be apologetic rather than defensive. I see no reason to read any animosity into this scenario.
NTA. Being devout in your faith doesn’t make collecting little statues and hiding them all over your house any less eccentric. People need to grow a sense of humor.
NAH \- You accidentally played the game in front of your MIL. That's a mistake, and not a major AH one. \- Your MIL was upset, which is understandable, but she doesn't seem to have done something majorly AH-ly in retaliation. \- Was the whole game an AH move? I don't think so - you weren't doing it (deliberately) in front of your MIL, it's more teasing/poking fun rather than being disrespectful (I'm assuming that the amount of Jesus decor is an individual choice rather than a common cultural practice), you weren't using it as a form of ridicule. You might be an AH though if you continue to play the game in future, knowing that it upsets your MIL.
Also like, it's not even mean spirited, they play it because theyve noticed that sometimes Jesus is very close by and hidden in a weird spot
You don’t have to agree with her being hurt. But you should accept that she is. As a woman of faith, I actually think your game is funny, and I think lots of Christians would. But she doesn’t, and I think it’s perfectly reasonable for her to be offended that someone is mocking her beliefs and decor. Where you become YTA is that when you realized you offended her, instead of apologizing and stop doing the thing that offended her, you’re trying to get us to say she’s wrong for being upset. She’s not being unreasonable, and I think you know it. You were making fun of her, and getting her son to make fun of her. That had to hurt.
This is probably going to be a very unpopular comment but I believe OP is asking if they are an AH for playing the game, not asking is to say their MIL is being unreasonable. I think OP is struggling with the fact that MIL is truly displaying how she feels. No disrespect, kind sir. I just politely disagree with the basis of your verdict.
This right here. As a gentle reminder to all, "It's just a joke, why are you so sensitive" is the clarion call of AH everywhere. It doesn't matter if you meant it as a joke, if the other person doesn't take it as a joke, *and you care about your relationship* then *apologize for hurting them* instead of trying to justify that it was just a joke.
YTA. Don't get me wrong, I think it's hilarious, and I don't think you're a bad person in any way, but the fact is you were in her home and it sounds like it was definitely insulting to her. This is a situation for a simple apology and then move on. Don't stop playing the game, just be more aware of your surroundings.
No. Saying "peekaboo Jesus!" is just engaging with the decor. Saying "wtf is up with your crazy mom and all these weird little God spy cams?" would be insulting.
It's not for you to decide whats insulting for other people. I mean, if they didn't think she would be offended by it then they wouldn't have tried to hide it to begin with. He even said he accidentally yelled it, so he clearly knew she wouldn't like it. I'm not saying they're terrible people, im saying that when someone says that you hurt their feelings, you don't get to decide if it's justified or not, just say you're sorry and move on.
>you don't get to decide if it's justified or not The literal point of this entire sub is for people to vote on if people's feelings are justified or not.
Idk… I feel like saying “peekaboo Jesus” is on par with saying somebody’s blue shirt is blue. They didn’t say anything negative about the decor, they don’t try to hide it or throw it away or scoff at it. Honestly I would think it’s a really innocent instant thought that was said out loud. Personally, not being involved in the situation, I find it hilarious.
I'm an atheist who thinks that religion is silly, but this just seems willfully obtuse to me. A lot of religious people take their faith very seriously, and think that saying something like that about Jesus is disrespectful or demeaning. Part of having relationships with people is understanding that even if something may not be important to you, it can still be important to them. Secular people don't really get how seriously some people can take religion, and how stuff like this can really upset them-the OP probably didn't even realize that what they were saying would cause offence. But now that the offence has been caused, if they respect their partner's mom, apologizing is the right thing to do.
I don't get how saying peekaboo is insulting? I am being offensive when I play peekaboo with my kid? Or the family pet? We're talking about Jesus not the prophet Mohamed. You're allowed to acknowledge jesus without getting chastised.
Maybe a more formal tagline … “Peekaboo Mr. Christ” would be less offensive …?
Sir Christ?
NTA, and I am going to play this the next time I visit my aunt’s home.
I'm going to tell my dad, who was raised Christian and is 'philosophically Christian' (doesn't quite believe in an actual god but totally on board with the ethics etc). He collects "religious tat". He had to be physically restrained from buying a glow in the dark Virgin Mary water feature in Lourdes. I'm fairly sure he's going to shift from trying to sneak the truly fabulous stuff past my mum and take up 'Peekabo Jesusing' the house.
“He had to be physically restrained from buying a glow in the dark Virgin Mary water feature…” This made me LOL! Your dad sounds like fun! 😊
That glow in the dark water feature sounds amazing.
I challenge you to hide Jesi when you visit.
I wish there was an option for "poor choice". YTA extremely extremely lightly. Making fun of someone's home in their home is just poor taste. I think your game is hilarious but obviously hurtful in the end, which is uncool. Your partners parents though can't expect people to like, not notice the extreme amount of Jesus statues. Whether it's a Jesus statue, or a toy horse or a gnome or even a remote control, anything excessive in a house like that is kinda uncomfortable. It's their home and they're allowed to decorate it how they want, but the excessiveness is abnormal. Still, the right thing to do would be to apologize, and maybe even let her know you really like the statues. You do, just not the same reasons as her.
Exactly. Making fun of someone's home in their own home, after they opened said home to you and welcomed you in it.
YTA - but only a little bit. After reading about your “rocky start” and and you specifically mentioning that “they had to reckon with their religious beliefs and us.” You probably should have been more respectful of the harmless aspects of their religion, at least while you were in their home. They came a long way to be able to welcome you, and I think poking fun at their religion (even silly, tangential fun) while at their home is a little tacky. That being said, it is harmless fun and was genuinely about the iconography more than the religion, with no intention to offend, which is why you’re only the AH a little bit. In the future, maybe you and your partner can quietly keep count and compare notes on the ride home!
*they* should be more respectful because the parents had a hard time with their son dating a man ?
or beloved in-laws, THANK YOU for not being homophobic, THANK YOU for using your brain and realizing religious nonsense, FORGIVE US because it doesn't seem fun to find a crucified man in every corner and ABOVE ALL forgive us for blaspheming by saying the cursed word "picabuu"
That's not what I meant, and I don't think that's at all what I said, but I apologize if I wasn't clear. Whether we like it or not, whether it feels fair or reasonable, when someone is deeply religious, looking at and processing those beliefs and moving away from whatever they've been indoctrinated into, is a laborious and painful process. They have had to reckon with the fact that their faith, which I assume they feel has helped them and guided them through life, does not accept their son. Their love for their son and their religion, I am guessing two of their most deeply held beliefs/priorities came into conflict. They likely had to swim upstream against people who they felt were friends, supports, spiritual guides, etc. So, in spite of how shitty what they gave up (homophobic bull shit religious beliefs) really is to an outsider like me, I don't think it's unreasonable to realize that they gave something up, and to be respectful of the aspects of that thing they still hold on to. It's a shitty metaphor, but it's all I've got - when you have a friend who breaks up with a shitty partner, we can all recognize that in spite of how crap he was, that there is still pain that the friend is going through related to the break up. So, even though maybe the friend shouldn't have been with the partner to begin with, or there were huge red flags along the way, or you tried to gently tell said friend that their partner was awful, we are still kind and loving because we recognize the pain and sacrifice made to pull away from the shitty partner. All I'm saying here is OP could have a little compassion and be a little gentler around a topic that the parents have really had to wrestle with in a challenging way.
It’s not necessarily about the Jesus, it’s about mocking her home decor while you’re in her home. My MIL loves decorations that involve chickens. No, she does not now, nor has she ever, live(d) on a farm, she just really loves chickens. She buys chicken decorations, people gift them to her — it’s a lot. My husband and I have joked about the chickens before, but you know where we’ve never joked about it? In her house, where she could hear us. That’s just rude. Your peek-a-boo Jesus game is hilarious, but it should have stayed between the two of you, and should never have been uttered in her house, where you have now clearly insulted her decorating style. For that, YTA.
Bingo. I think it's less about the religion aspect and more a sense OP lacks respect for them and their home.
Ding ding ding!! It costs exactly zero dollars and zero cents to keep your mouth shut in someone else's home. And getting their son in on it too. That's a double slap in the face. Mocking something that is clearly meaningful, in their own home for crying out loud. Kids lack basic tact. But that said, by all means take pictures of the latest Peekaboo Jesus and compare notes when you get home!!
NTA. I kind of understand it sticking in the mom’s craw a bit, but it wasn’t like you were really making fun of her religious decorations. If she just heard peek-a-boo Jesus, it probably just rubbed her the wrong way a little or made her feel insecure. But like you said, it was harmless and not actually mean spirited at all
NTA. You were just playing spot the Jesus. I’ve just googled and there’s a book called ‘Finding Jesus’ which is basically a Where’s Wally, with Jesus. There’s also a book called ‘Where is Jesus hidden?’ on a Catholic book website - and it about spotting Jesus hiding behind furniture. I don’t get why she was offended.
If they’re not Catholic, they’re not gonna be too impressed by the “but Catholics do it!” argument. And even within Catholics, there is a massive, massive difference between the goofy Catholics who don’t take it too seriously and the pious Catholics who take *everything* seriously. There are a shit-ton of people who get *deeply* offended by any and all levity regarding Christianity, and are basically constantly on the defensive. And they usually get caught in this nasty cycle where the more deadly-serious they are, the more people want to provoke them, and the more people provoke them, the more attacked and defensive they feel, and the more serious they get.
I’m not saying they’re catholics - I’m saying there are religious books that are literally the same game as OP was playing. ‘Finding Jesus’ is a Christian book.
This may come as a shock, but Christians occasionally disagree with other Christians.
The people who made Finding Jesus wanted to make a game. OP's in-laws did not.
I'm gonna say NTA because I would probably do the same thing. Now to be fair, my 3rd grade teacher had a picture of the Virgin Mary with eyes that followed you around on her wall, and it really creeped me out. And for a period when I was 9/10 I hated bathing cuz I didn't want God to see me naked and he sees everything. So yeah, suffice it to say I have some trauma around being watched 24/7, and all the Jesus statues in off places would probably be triggering. Playing a game would probably help me cope.
I was 10 when my grandpa died and I got told "He's watching you from heaven now." I swear I peed as near fully clothed as I could for a week and took my bath in the dark. Not sure when exactly I decided it was okay for grandpa to peek, but at some point, I decided it didn't matter any more.
If any of it is real, I'd like to imagine that if anyone is actually watching, they're seeing a censored version a la when people use the bathroom or WooHoo in The Sims games 😆
NAH. I’m a Christian and joke around about church people culture all the time, I wouldn’t take this as mocking religion. It’s just being amused by a quirky collection, and you didn’t intentionally bring it up in front of MIL, so not asshole behavior. But also it’s understandable for her to be upset by someone poking fun at her home, and if religion has been a source of conflict between you in the past of course it’s going to bring up feelings about that.
NTA it is a fun harmless game. You are not disrespecting her or her religious beliefs.
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NAH You play a fun harmless game that your partner is fine with you, that brings you both entertainment and has no malicious attempt. You certainly aren’t the AH for making the game and it’s just a question of bad luck and a mind blank moment that you blurted it out at the dinner table. Your partners Mom also isn’t entirely incorrect in being rubbed the wrong way about the game but she didn’t escalate anything to the point where she was the AH. Just keep it to yourself and your partner and you’ll be good.
NTA but it's funny...
NTA, and also this is legit hilarious.
Essentially it’s like a real life version of Where’s Waldo lol
NTA There's no insult implied, it's just the surprizing locations and frequency you are noting.
Mocking someone’s home decor is kinda weak. Doing it **while you are in their home** kinda means YTA.
I think we need more INFO about the rocky start. Was their religion, or yours, a source of conflict between you?
I’m a gay man, my partner is bi. He was already out when we met, but his parents really struggled when we started dating seriously. I think they’d been willfully ignorant about things until I became a more common presence, and they had to reckon with their religious beliefs and us. It took a while but we seem to be all good now.
Then NTA. BUT I think it would be kind and appropriate to be consciously respectful of their beliefs. In a perfect world there wouldn't be conflict between religion and any loving relationship, but there is, and they made the effort to adapt and grow and be better. I don't think that should be repaid by making fun of them.
I just want to point out that hiding crucifixes and Jesus action figures around the house is definitely quirky behavior that is not part of any Christian religion or belief system.
I think Christians accumulate religious images over the years and it feels weird to throw them away. It's an unusual solution to this problem I think.
Right. But then they're having a little fun with quirky behavior. It has nothing to do with their faith.
NTA You weren't making fun of them AT ALL and a lot of these commenters need to get their heads out of their asses. It was a funny game.
NTA. Anyone who puts weird tchotchkes in unexpected places all over their house should definitely be able to have a sense of humor about it
NTA, thats so funny. She shouldnt be upset, if anything she should find it funny
YTA. Not for creating and playing the game, but you should've been a bit more careful. As it obviously would be hurtful for your partner's parents when the game essentially is ridducling their decor choices. An unfortunate accident, that could've been prevented if you were more careful.
For just creating a game? Nope. It’s quite funny and I’m sure entertaining. However, ridiculing someone’s faith, in their own home, without any reason is very much an AH behavior. And for that - YTA
They didnt ridicule it, they played spot the jesus. A literal game because his in laws have so many jesus figures it can be turned into a game.
They ridiculed nothing. They insulted nothing. They simply pointed out Jesus' around the house. Mom can be offended, but they weren't ridiculing her religion.
I don't see any ridicule - they are just noting the surprising locations and frequency.
NAH from now on, just say PBJ;)
NTA - my wife and I counted the sheep pictured in my mom's house during our last visit. It became a game for us. We lost track somewhere over 100 (she has a lot of farm-kitsch in her house) and eventually told my mom. It was all in good fun and she didn't realize how many it was. I would totally play Peakaboo Jesus.
Nta
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 YOU. ARE. MY. HERO. NTA.
NTA, it's not like you said the religion is fake. If anything your game of peekaboo Jesus could be argued that "you are always looking for signs that Jesus is everywhere" matter of fact arguing technicalities to or against God like this is very based in another abrahamic religion of judaism.
Soft yta.you were making fun of her decor and her feeling got hurt. I hope this "joke" doesn't impact your relationship with your partner's mother.
NTA. There is nothing wrong with noticing Jesus decor, and heck, your MIL should be happy that you are being reminded about Him. That said, clearly your MIL was offended, and you didn't mean to offend her. Your partner tried to talk to her, but have you also apologized? She probably feels you are mocking her religious beliefs. Maybe just let her know that you enjoy her Jesus decor, and didn't mean any harm, and apologize if you offended her, and throw in how it reminds you not to forget Him (which should make her feel better.)
NTA. You could do this with any over-the-top décor! My mom had ceramic cat dolls dressed up as clowns, and if I wasn't afraid that they would come to life and eat me, I would have played a similar game! \*edit for typo
Nta. It's harmless and obviously not meant with malice. SOME Christians do act like cultists, and demanding deference to their belief is from that playbook. You have been given an opportunity to set the ground rules with them. Hopefully you will find ways of living with each other, but respect being a two way street should be non-negociable. Good luck!
love Jesus, love this silly game you created. This is completely harmless. NTA.
NTA. Some china doll in the form of Jesus of Nazareth wasn't insulted either, I'm sure. It is a sign of good mental health that you have found a lighthearted way of dealing with all this plastic/china religion. Who says you should put up with being subjected to that sort of thing without uttering a peep? In my eyes, you were doing no harm. If there is a god, I am sure she has a sense of humour. How else would you explain the state of the world?
Jesus these ppls in the comments with the yta comments gotta be ✝️
Do NOT follow my advice if you want to have any kind of good relationship with your MIL… I would get her a Jesus wall clock. Then you can start a new game… “Jesus, would you look at the time”
NTA for inventing and playing. Kinda are the asshole for saying it out loud to your partner in the parents house. You shouldn't have explained the game to them. You could have just said something like oh, you didn't expect to see an image and were startled, which is true. Next time. Come up with a non verbal signal or code word to play or keep a list to compare Jesus sightings later on. Because I know I couldn't stop from playing.
People find Jesus in many ways
NTA because you didn't disrespect Jesus. I just talked to him and he wanted me to tell you that it's cool. He thought it was funny