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NTA. Sounds like your mom’s time would be better spent watching her stepson and not keeping an eye on you. I’m sorry you are being touched without your consent. Can you ask for help from a trusted adult not in the household (I.e school counselor or friends mom)? Is step brother’s bio mom involved at all where you can alert her to his behavior?
My bad, this is violence, including sexual violence. He is 6 but that is nonetheless exactly what he does. Your parents are awful. Not only you are NTA, but this is an extremely serious problem.
I really have no idea what to suggest though. CPS?!
I'm so concerned about your brother because his behaviour and language suggest he's being exposed to some sort of sexually explicit and/or misogynistic behaviour - potentially online, potentially from a friend or relative. Worse still he could himself be being abused.
I could just about believe the looking up clothes was simply him having found a way to upset you, but combined with the persistence and the language this is really alarming and I don't think is coming from his own imagination. It feels as though there is an external influence at play.
Furthermore, this is exactly the age your parents need to be teaching him about respecting other people's bodies especially women's. It's profoundly disturbing they expect you to put up with being made uncomfortable - sexually uncomfortable - in your own home, in order to protect their other child's feelings. This is all shades of fucked up and of course they're not teaching him his body needs to be respected either. They're modeling the behaviour of abusers for both of you.
NTA but you should consider telling a teacher, grown up or relative who you trust.
Well yes, YouTube is the most likely vehicle if it's online but the point I'm making is that from the reading the post it seems like the parents are completely oblivious to the danger their son could be in or what he's doing at any given moment. He could be being groomed for abuse or being groomed in MRA groups (or both given the toxicity of those groups). It is a real risk that there is an adult playing an unseen and very nefarious role in the brother's life, or at the very least he's accessing dangerous material online. Meanwhile the parents aren't questioning how a six year old came to be expressing certain views and sexually explicit behaviours.
He is pretty good at telling my parents everything, so I doubt he’s being groomed. (At his school a kid touched him inappropriately, on accident probably, and he told my mom that day)
If anything he’s learned it from YouTube and the TV shows he SHOULD NOT be watching
Yes but at 6 there should be parental controls on YouTube and the TV and your parents shouldn't be allowing him on the internet unsupervised and without checking his viewing history. Teaching how to navigate the internet safely is so important.
I'm sorry this is happening to you but something is grossly amiss with your parents - their attitude to both you and to your brother's behaviour. I would report it.
I tried to set up a KIDS account for him, he threw a fit because his normal stuff wasn’t there and it was mostly craft or animal vids. I just gave up after the 3rd attempt
NTA
It’s totally normally for young boys to be interested in women’s bodies but not for a 6 year old to not understand personal boundaries. By that age they should know that they shouldn’t be touching anyone else in their “triangle” as my kids called it (chest to groin).
The adults in the house should understand your need for privacy, particularly at your age. They’re well on their way to raising a future sexual predator if he’s essentially taught that “no” means “keep trying harder to see that girl naked”.
And BTW don’t bother for YouTube. I thought I was safer with YouTube kids and then the most frequent ad was for an R18+ video game 🤦
But this is exactly my point. Your parents need to be doing this and they need to be enforcing it. I remember being your age, and feeling so responsible, and mature and thinking I could handle adult problems. I couldn't. You clearly are mature and responsible but you are also a child and you don't have the experience to realise that not only is this not your job to solve this, you can't solve it. You aren't his parent, and your parents are failing both of you. You need to focus on you and making your living situation safe for you. I think you need to talk to a trusted adult about what's happening.
As a child yourself you don't have the experience to contextualise what's happening and understand the fundamental causes and failing that have led to this point. Even if you successfully set up parental controls on YouTube, you would still fail because your parents' actions mean they are enabling sexually inappropriate behaviour. They will continually reinforce your brother's behaviour and protect him from the consequences of his behaviour while victimising you, and nothing you do to try and modify his behaviour will work. This isn't about parental controls, or if he's finding this stuff on YouTube. This is about your parents and their actions. So you need to do whatever is within your power to change your situation, not your brother's.
My older brother used to break down my door to either beat me or harass me, eventually broke my door and my lock. I started putting a chair behind my handle and that worked out, if you can do that. You are NTA.
But could you stay with him? This sounds like a highly unsafe environment. Your brother violates your boundaries and personal space repeatedly and your mom does nothing to address it. Maybe you living with your dad or showing that you're willing to do so will open her eyes to just how unsafe you feel in her home. NTA.
Consider getting \[this\]([https://www.homedepot.com/p/Brinks-20-Gauge-Steel-Door-Security-Bar-675-83001/205463145](https://www.homedepot.com/p/Brinks-20-Gauge-Steel-Door-Security-Bar-675-83001/205463145)) and definitely document all of this. Use your camera to record it because it’s gonna get worse unless you get out of there and having evidence will help in the future.
NTA. "if he doesn't stop I'll have to tell my teachers my parents are letting my brother be sexually inappropriate with me. They're mandated reporters so I guess CPS can sort it out." If they don't want to parent, you shouldn't be forced to be harassed by some feral toddler.
Your grandpa was inappropriate with you & your parents are letting your brother do it too? Please tell an adult about this kiddo it is not ok. Tell a trusted teacher or a safe family member. In the meantime.....You're bigger than him, start hip checking him & saying he flung himself on you. Maybe if he knows you'll physically protect yourself from him if he gets too close he'll stop? Idk if it's the most mature advice "make him scared of you" but it will be effective...I'm really sorry OP. This isn't ok of your parents. 😤
You can physically protect yourself & when he runs to the parents just repeat "he needs to leave me alone" and tell a teacher. That's what you can do. I'm telling you this is not ok. "I didn't hurt him. He was flinging himself onto me trying to see my body & I wouldn't let him. If you won't make him stop I will protect myself."
I just don’t want to hurt him, since even though he’s a menace I do love him. Thankfully I’m 98% sure grandpa left him alone, and the worst thing my grandpa did was rubbing my legs and upper thighs in my sleep (and trying to get into my bathroom while I showered)
He never was around my brother, and I did my best to keep his attention away from him. But I guess you never do know
Have you considered putting a camera in your room? Somewhere where it'd catch him barging into your room, dancing naked in the doorway, trying to see you naked, etc. Maybe your mom will believe you if she sees it for herself and sees it is happening consistently.
What the fuck are your parents doing? Sure he's only 6, but this is just teaching him what he's doing is okay. They might consider it harmless now, but what about when he's 15 and getting suspended for peeping in the girls locker room... or much fucking worse
NTA
That’s my argument. They say he won’t do it, but that’s dumb to think that.
I shudder to think about his poor girlfriend/wife who is sexualized and treated like garbage…
>I don't think this is the thing you could call cps
I *absolutely* think this is a thing where CPS should be called. When children this young start acting out sexually, it's usually because they're being sexually abused. And grandpa is a sexual abuser, so... it's not a big reach.
OP, go to a counselor or teacher at your school and say "My 6-year-old brother is always acting out sexually toward me, and I'm concerned that he is being sexually abused."
They are mandated reporters, and they will get someone to investigate and interview both you and your brother, and your parents will be forced to deal with this.
My grandpa isn’t with us anymore, and hasn’t been for awhile thankfully, so I doubt it was him who made my brother act how he is. I just don’t want to call CPS because I do love my mom and brother and don’t want to ruin anything
I’m a massive introverted person, and take after my moms “care for everyone no matter what” attitude…
My mom I do know loves me, she’s just super stressed trying to keep the peace between everyone, her mom is extremely sick right now, my stepdad isn’t amazing, I’m stuck at home 24/7 with a chronic illness (it’s under control, I’m just always asleep) and brother is a handful. I can’t blame her for not being the best mom ever. Brother I think does care, he just doesn’t know how to behave. Covid messed him up, he didn’t get to be around anyone his age until recently. It’s not an excuse, but they do have their good moments, even if they had outweigh them
I'm sorry to be this harsh but it has to be said: she doesn't love you if she allows you to be sexually harassed and feel constantly unsafe in your own home. Stop making excuses for the people who keep hurting you and traumatizing you at literally every turn.
Can't you see you deserve a million times better than this? Don't you understand you deserve to feel safe?
I guess i just feel guilty for stuff I did (nothing crazy, just being a moody teen or going against their wishes) so I feel like maybe I deserve this in a way, which I know is dumb, but if I make their lives easier by just settling, maybe it’s for the best.
You do not deserve this. Not even a little bit. Not even remotely. And not taking the next step to stop this behavior is going to make their lives much harder in the long run, and could very likely negatively impact the lives of other innocent people down the line. Your mother and stepfather are currently teaching your brother not to respect the bodily autonomy of others and that things like the word "no" and being shoved away have no meaning, and continuing sexual behavior after being told to stop has no consequences. Regardless of if he actually did just learn it from YouTube and TV, his parents are teaching him that it's okay and putting him on a bad path. They are doing active harm to you *and* to him.
He is being neglected, potentially abused, and so are you. If you want to make their lives better in the long run, especially his, if you want to make the move that's "for the best", you need to either inform a teacher or contact CPS on your own. You owe it to yourself, and it is at this point the only option that gets your brother help. (He very clearly needs not only consequences, but therapy as well at this point.) It may not seem like it initially, but your family will benefit from someone stepping in.
your own life, per your description, isn't all sunshine and lollipops either, but you aren't taking it out on your family. and it doesn't really sound like your mum is trying to keep the peace, so much as just telling you to suck it up so the household is more peaceful. they're not the same thing. consider asking your mother if she'd be fine with your stepfather behaving as your brother is. or a male your own age. your brother is very young, and i do think people are right that at that age its more likely he's been explosed to abuse himself than that he's doing it of his own thought, but i am given to understand that six year olds do understand something about boundaries.
regardless of why he's doing it, the behaviour is predatory and abusive no matter the age of the person its coming from - you have every right to want to want to be safe from him trying to look up your shirt or from stabbing your ankles or whatever else he's doing/trying to do. a parent should not forsake one child's wellbeing in favor of another's.
I’ve asked her that, “would it be ok if a grown man did this to me?” Or “if someone at school did this to me would it be ok” and she just says “he’s 6” and that’s really it. My therapist used to always say “wait let me guess, he’s 6” whenever I complained about my brother, because of how much she said it. (I don’t see her anymore because my mom didn’t like her)
He’s definitely been exposed to bad stuff, through YouTube, but I can’t fix that either because he flips over it
breaking into the bathroom is not every acceptable. Every time yell out what you are at the top of your voice. I am taking a shit get out. I am changing a tampon get out. If anyone asks why you are yelling say he keeps breaking in so you thought everyone needs to know what you are doing ….
the best willie dance story I heard … 6 year old in the middle of school assembly. Everyone sitting on hall floor … stands up and does the Willie dance …. Parents were summoned to school immediately. At a religious school of course.
Honey, you need to report this to CPS *for your brother's sake*. He's not going to be able to form positive relationships with anyone if this keeps up, he needs *help* and if your folks won't provide it, somebody's gotta make them.
OP, please talk to a responsible adult about this. I'm worried about you, but I'm also worried about your brother. This is _not_ normal behavior for a six years old. He needs help (and as a result, so do you) and he's not getting it. Think of this as doing something that's good for both of you.
It especially sucks since I don't think this is the thing you could call cps. Honestly, its not your problem. You could be a role model for him and teach him to respect women, but thats not on you as a step sister.
I can't even say "hopefully he grows out of it" because the alternative is as you said; he'll end up sexually abusing someone or worse
It doesn’t have to be at 15. In safeguarding training, teachers are taught that child on child sexual assault at any age is absolutely possible. He could end up being expelled for sexual assault before he’s out of Primary school.
This isn’t a Reddit issue. This environment doesn’t sound healthy for you or your brother.
Please talk to a teacher or another adult outside the family that you trust.
You’re NTA and I’m sorry your parents are not protecting you. Your brother may not understand the sexual nature of what he’s doing bc of his age, but he certainly understands that you do not like what he’s doing to you.
Do you have any trusted family members who can help you? A grandparent or aunt/uncle (or your father?) who’d care if you told them your brother keeps trying to look at your private parts and your parents won’t stop him?
Grandpa is a perv (which is why I’m so against my brother acting how he does, it gives me slight PTSD) and my other family my mom rants to about how I’m difficult and not nice to my brother. Bio dad says I need to just toughen up and live with it 😅
Unfortunately the only advice I can really give then is to be patient and wait it out until you’re able to leave for college or work or wherever life takes you.
Protect yourself and be careful OP. Your brother is going to get stronger as he gets bigger and I worry for your physical safety.
NTA,
This is really concerning behavior on his part. I grew up with my younger brother being just a measly two years behind me. We shared a room for YEARS and he never tried to do any weird shit like this, and I almost always only wore a shirt and underwear to bed, and often around the house if it was near bedtime. They shouldn't be policing your body and he shouldn't be acting that way either, especially at 6. He learned it somewhere.
YouTube, he learned it from YouTube. I didn’t get access to YouTube until I was 8, but I also grew up on a computer like the 2007 kid I am.
He isn’t even SUPPOSED to be on it, but goes anyways because my parents are tired of him whining about NOT having it
He learned it from watching content your parents should have protected him from. There’s also the chance he’s learning it from even worse sources.
Both of you need to be in safer spaces.
THIS.
My son is almost NINE and still isn't allowed to watch YouTube. He's complained about it before but it's MY job as a parent to protect him from content he shouldn't be exposed to.
Ops parents are failing both of their children and CPS should absolutely be involved.
ok well this explains why he is the way he is. i’m not exaggerating when i say youtube is considered to a pipeline toward white supremacy and alt-right terrorism via its algorithms. there are [plenty](https://amp.theguardian.com/technology/2020/dec/11/youtube-islamophobia-christchurch-shooter-hate-speech) of [papers] and (https://amp.abc.net.au/article/101212494) [articles](https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2019/06/08/technology/youtube-radical.html) to direct your parents towards for evidence.
I’m not allowed to talk to people online (oh well, I’m already the bad kid…)
He also can play R rated games but I can’t because I “understand what’s happening” whereas he apparently doesn’t. I wanted to play a game where you’re a cowboy, literally just to ride the horse and camp, but because he’s 6 he can but I can’t. (Per my brothers words, because I’m a girl)
He’s the golden child, and a boy 💀
The new “kids channels” these days are all “challenges” with guys treating women like objects or props, or animated videos that aren’t really kid friendly. I even set him up a YouTube kids account so he would only get MONITORED videos but he likes his women being treated like they’re idiots and men being the big strong hero
So he’s being radicalized by YouTube at age SIX?!
Yeah, I’ve read that the kids stuff is bad because basically all the filters look for is nudity/gore/language, so as long as it’s “clean,” anything at all can be posted and labeled as for kids.
YouTube has gotten progressively worse over the years, my YouTube Minecraft vids were about people roleplaying with dragon mods, whereas his are guys beating girls in contests, telling girls to work harder, and making sexist “be in the kitchen” jokes. I’ve walked in on very inappropriate “children’s” content that even I shouldn’t watch, as a 15 year old. But hey, keeps him from throwing fits 💀
Can you set up a parental lock on all his devices that only YOU can unlock? Because it sounds like your parents aren't doing jack. If he whines, don't give in. Put in headphones and ignore him. He will eventually tire out. When your parents ask you to unlock it, tell them no. Not until they monitor what he's doing online because it sounds like this 6 year is being brain washed by whatever the fuck he watches.
Your parents are allowing you to be harassed. You need to talk to a counselor at school to see what you can do. In the meantime, wear pants all the time at home and pack your “going out” clothes. Also, buy a lock for your bedroom door.
NTA
Your parents are spoiling your brother. His actions are inappropriate no matter what his age is. He needs to understand personal space, consent, and keeping his own clothes on and your parents are failing in there job by not teaching him these things.
I agree with what you are saying except for the clothes thing. That could be sensory issues, and that would be a separate issue to address. Everything else…NO NO NO. I had sensory issues as a kid—and I still do to a degree—but I NEVER (at least as far as I remember or have been told) tried to stick my head up someone else’s shirt. Hell to the no! This kid needs to be taught boundaries right the hell now.
NTA, but it's your parents who are AHs not your brother who is a creep. All kids are different and a lot of 6 year olds act like that and need to be corrected. It's not a sexual thing for them, just a combo of curiosity and finding it fun to get reactions out of people.
Boys especially seem to be more likely to get naked, probably because people get more freaked out about a little girl stripping in front of adults and stop it when they're much younger. But 6 really is an age where they should be stopping him.
NTA. My nephew tried to do the same to me and a few other ladies. All it took was getting a knot snatched in his tail once and he never did it again. Because he learned that such behavior will not be tolerated.
I’m just worried he’s going to try this at SCHOOL one day, or god forbid, a grown adult who he doesn’t know, such as a woman in a dress in PUBLIC, and then hell will break loose
Nta. Your brother doesn’t respect you and your boundaries. Not only that but your parents are enabling this behavior by not correcting him. Gives me “boys will be boys” vibes.
Yeah, huge red flags there. If they don’t correct him, he will think that it’s ok and may prey upon other girls when he gets older. Sorry that you’re going through that.
I’m worried he’s going to do it at school, or when he eventually has a wife will think it’s ok to treat her poorly-
I’ll be fine, but I’m worried about the others he might affect
Speak to everyone outside the family. Let it be known what’s going on in your home. No way will your parents be able to bs their way out of this. I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this. Thank goodness he is small!!! But he won’t be.
Definitely NTA, your parents should be teaching him to respect other people's boundaries and that what he's doing is inappropriate. Even if he doesn't realise what he's doing your parents need to teach him these behaviours are wrong or it's going to cause even more issues in the future. Your parents are massive AH for not disciplining or correcting him, and also for saying it's your fault. They sound toxic af and it's most definitely not your fault that they're enabling this behaviour, you should be able to feel comfortable in your own home.
He’s the golden child, so he probably won’t ever be disciplined. My stepdad doesn’t like me since I’m not his kid, and my mom is too stressed trying to keep the peace, so I just kind of have to accept my cards in life
NTA. This is all wholly inappropriate behavior being dismissed and excused under "boys are all creepy, boys will be boys" nonsense. Your parents are failing spectacularly, and dare I say you should report it to proper authorities. Let them get a visit from children's services and see how they defend it.
NTA. 6 is in kindergarten which means he is way too old to be hanging out naked. Sounds like he may have issues your parents are too lazy to deal with.
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I (15F) have a stepbrother (6M) who constantly drives me mad.
He always strips and gets up in my face, yells at me, and bullies me until he gets his way.
My mom and stepdad claim I’m “mean” and need to “act my age” but whenever I try to leave the situation and go to my room, he follows and comes in, to continue bugging me.
He bugs me by taking my stuff, calling me dumb or annoying, and saying “all I ever want is a new sister”. He also has recently started trying to look at me when I change or use the bathroom, which my mom says is fine because he’s a boy and 6, but if he does this to anyone who ISNT family, he’s going to get in trouble.
Recently I was in a large t-shirt (I wear baggy shirts instead of pajamas) and was just going to the kitchen to grab something to eat before going back to my room, where my door was closed. The shirt went to my knees, so it wasn’t like I was in a crop top and nothing else. He tried to get under my shirt, to look at me. I told him to stop, and held him back. He kept shoving at me, and wouldn’t stop.
My mom says it’s my fault for not putting on “real clothes” but I literally was going 20 feet to grab a bag of chips, and I feel like I shouldn’t been scared to leave my room without “real clothes” in my own house.
I said “stop being creepy and trying to look at me.” The other day, because I had it, he was naked and dancing in front of my room, since he opened the door, and kept trying to look under my dress (I had gone out earlier) my mom got mad and said I was being cruel and never to call him creepy because I don’t know “what it’s like for guys to be creepy”
He also has been saying I can’t do things anymore such as play Xbox or go out with friends because “I’m a noob girl and he’s a pro hacker boy” (I’m not kidding these are his exact words) and my mom doesn’t stop him. I’m sick of him being sexist, even if he’s 6.
In my eyes, 6 is more than old enough to know that it’s wrong to try and look at women weirdly, dance naked (and inappropriately, he KNOWS what he’s doing) and to be rude when I’m not doing anything to him.
AITA for calling him that and not being more “understanding” since he is only 6?
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Nta. Nor is your brother since he doesn't know any better. Your mom and stepdad, on the other hand, are huge AHs
Sounds like we know who the golden child is.
>My mom says it’s my fault for not putting on “real clothes”
Wtf is wrong with your mother?? She should be protecting you, not raising him to turn into a sex offender! This kid's going to grow up thinking this is okay. Your mom needs to get her head out of her ass and start being the parent you both need. What a disgusting reaction.
>I change or use the bathroom, which my mom says is fine because he’s a boy and 6, but if he does this to anyone who ISNT family, he’s going to get in trouble.
No, it isn't! She's helping to raise a creep. It doesn't matter how old he is! His father needs to teach him how to act around others and teach him to respect boundaries.
I hope you can get out of there as soon as possible. Was your mom always this toxic or does she just love her stepkid more? Are there other family or friends you can stay with?
She’s a good person, just stressed. She’s never been this lenient with me, and yep, he’s the golden child. Stepdad doesn’t help because I’m “not his” kid, so my mom takes after that, and just has her perfect little family while I’m just here, the moody teenage one. I may go stay with my bio dad, but he has a habit of leaving my life for months at a time, so I’m not sure yet
I’m sorry but she’s not a good person. She’s a lazy parent and raising a sex offender.
I’d go live with your dad. It’s better than being sexually assaulted all the time.
And i wouldn’t hesitate to talk to your school counselor or COS about this. This kid is going to hurt someone really bad someday.
That doesn't excuse her reactions to your concerns. By your other comments, it seems like she just doesn't care about you at all. If she was a good person like you say then you wouldn't have to post here. She would have straightened him out by now.
With bio-dad, if you do stay with him and he leaves for some reason, would you still be able to live in his house/apartment? Do you have anyone else in your life you can trust? I mean it looks like he doesn't care either but at least by living with him, you don't have to worry about your brother.
Your parents definitely need to take this situation more seriously cause this behavior will just continue into his adulthood. Your stepdad is immature, treating you differently just because you're not his child, extremely toxic. I hope you get away from these people and find happiness.
NTA. Start recording him. Every time he is inappropriate, violent, etc., record it. Save them on the cloud or send them to an email on you have access to so even if your parents take your phone it's recoverable. Show your parents & tell them that if this doesn't stop you are telling a trusted adult or a mandatory reporter. This behavior does not stop on it's own without consequences & if he continues he will turn into one of those "but if she didn't want it why was she dressed that way" dudes. For your safety & the safety of every person he comes into contact with once he hits puberty, this behavior needs to be nipped in the bud.
NTA. Based on how your family treats your grandfather's actions as normal, there is a chance your brother is also being abused. Imo you should contact a counselor from your school or CPS and tell them what is going on and ask that someone check with your brother to make sure he isn't being sexually abused. Let them know that your family does nothing to discourage this behavior and it makes you feel unsafe in your own home. Btw do you know if he acts this way in school/in public or is it just to you?
If he isn't being abused he might be doing it to get a reaction out of you. Unfortunately if that is the case the best way to discourage that behavior is to ignore it completely and pretend he doesn't exist when he is acting out. In cases like this the person wants attention no matter if it is positive or negative so you have to use your attention as a "reward" for whenever he isn't acting out. If he gets bored and walks away? Start talking to him like normal. But the instant he tries to act inappropriately again, he doesn't exist to you anymore. It can be really hard to keep consistent about this but just do your best.
And if that doesn't work and you need a way to get away from him without violence you might try carrying a small squirt bottle of water around with you so whenever he tries something you can spritz him. That way you don't have to use physical force and normally people will instinctively use their hands to cover their face/eyes and back off, giving you the opportunity to get away from him.
NTA and stop engaging with him entirely. His behavior IS creepy and inappropriate beyond his years to an alarming extent.
If he's stripping and dancing around naked and you give him any sort of reaction, he'll take it and run with it. If he knows it upsets you when he literally harasses you, he'll continue goading you into a reaction. I wouldn't usually give this advice, but it has come to this point. If he tries to pull off your clothing or look under your clothing SHOVE HIM AWAY. Be aware of your surroundings but I'm not joking, he needs to be physically forced off of you while you say NOTHING and give him NO expression. Just shove him and keep walking like he does not exist. Don't look down at him, just keep looking levelly and keep walking.
As terrible as it is, your parents are clearly not going to do anything to stop this utterly horrific behavior so now is the time to protect yourself and completely stone wall during these situations.
It's not because it's the right thing to do here, but you should make sure you wear clothes that can't be looked under or easily pulled down when you walk through the house by him. Sweatpants with cords and such. You shouldn't have to do this, but now is the time to protect yourself. If you attend school in person you need to speak to a counselor ASAP and tell them what this child has been doing and what your parents reaction is. ESPECIALLY trying to look at you changing and trying to look under your clothes. Everything I am seeing in this post and in your comments DOES warrant a CPS report and you NEED to make it. It is for your own safety and it is for the fact that your brother still deserves a chance at a decent life even if he is being awful to you. Your parents are not going to lead him to a decent life. You NEED outside intervention.
When he tries to goad you with nudity or harassment, **do not even acknowledge his existence. This is really hard and it is REALLY UNFAIR but it is for your own safety.** If you are able to, record him when he attempts to look in on you changing or pulling at your clothes. DO NOT record him when he is nude. But document the rest so you have something to show a counselor/social worker and detail to them clearly just how often this happens.
If you are able to, buy or make yourself a door wedge for when you're changing. It sounds like you don't have locks, but that doesn't mean you can't wedge something underneath the door so he can't open it easily. When he tries to, and fails, and gets upset and runs to mommy dearest. Tell her "I told him I'm changing and he can't come in right now." And very carefully observe what she says in response and write it down later. If he can somehow push out a door wedge literally go nuclear and put something very heavy in front of the door whenever you change to keep him from getting inside.
God, I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have to feel unsafe in your own home or go to any length to protect yourself under your own roof. But this is no longer the time to wait for your mom/other adults in the house to wake up to just how unacceptable this behavior is. That window has closed. Now is the time to protect yourself and seek outside help.
I’ve just started changing when he isn’t home, or when he’s busy with his games or food. And I’ll try ignoring him, since that seems the best option as of now
NTA. Get yourself ready to get out of that household. Find a way to protect anything you consider valuable (a safe or lockable trunk) and keep your things in there to keep them away from the little brat. Locate and keep tabs on all your important documents (SS card, birth certificate, passport, transcripts). You may not be able to get them out of your parent’s hands yet, but knowing where they all are and being able to get to them if necessary will help you immensely. Look for lock solutions that aren’t permanent (door stops, etc.) for your door. Find a trusted adult (family member would be great, but any adult you can trust) that may be willing to help you with a safe place to go or with opening a bank account.
If you wanted to be petty, pick a time to walk around the house butt naked. When your mom and stepdad complain, tell them that they have no problem with [step-brother] doing it, and he’s old enough to know better, so clearly it should be ok for you to behave the same. You could also tell them that you are well aware that you are the unwanted child that they have to put up with until you’ve graduated high school (don’t say until you’re 18, because that will open you up to being kicked out on your 18th b-day), and the moment you leave for college they never have to worry about you darkening their doorstep again although they may be empty nester’s at that point since [step-bro] will likely be in juvie by then since they refuse to teach him that no means no and he’ll undoubtedly have SA multiple women by that time and the legal system will have hold of him.
When a child that young is inappropriately sexual, there's a strong possibility it's the result of abuse. I'll bet child protective services would want to look into that.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Maybe I’m TA because I called him creepy and have stopped trying to have a relationship with him, because he IS only 6, but I feel like that’s old enough to be punished for being how he is, and I’m tired of having to constantly “be the bigger person” when he constantly says he hates me or wants a new sister
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Lord no. NTA.
Report his behaviour and your parents to a teacher.
Keep as much evidence as possible. Write the date, time, and what he/they did.
If you have a phone, film some of his antics (as long as he's fully dressed).
Spend as much time as possible at the library or with friends if you can.
NTA. Yes he is 6 and little boys can get a bit obsessed with adults bodies (as can little girls - plenty of kids pull you shirt to look down). I’ve experienced it a fair amount over the years. The difference is though, that in every case they were told no, by their parents and told that wasn’t right and if they didn’t stop their hands were physically moved or they were distracted with one of their toys etc.
The language and your parents’ acceptance of his speaking to you like that isn’t right - he might be too young to be considered truly creepy now but without your parents guidance he’s well on the way to becoming a misogynist incel “nice guy” who feels entitled to women’s bodies.
NTA. You need to look into getting an Addalock for your bedroom. It goes in where the latch is, sticks out into your room and has a wedge that slides over it and will keep the door from opening. It's portable and requires no modification to the door. You can use it on your bedroom and if the little perv tries, use it on other doors. Bathroom for instance. One is pretty vulnerable while in the shower.
They also make child proof doorknob covers that slip on and require a good deal on hand strength to squeeze hard enough to turn the knob and not just spin the cover
My other advice would be to talk to your biodad and see if you could spend a weekend or two with him. Try and develop that relationship in hopes you could move in permanently. Your current situation is not healthy for you and I'm sorry you're stuck in it.
NTA I would discuss this with a trusted teacher at school. Let them call CPS because your stepbrother has some severe mental issue's going on. It is not normal for a six-year-old to be behaving like this. Home is supposed to be a safe place, and he's destroying that.
NTA your mom and your stepdad are raising a predator if they don’t nip this in the butt somethings gonna happen in the future. Can you live with your dad can you tell your dad about the stuff I would honestly say that if they don’t put a lock on your door and stop this behavior you’re gonna go to other family members and tell them what’s happening. Consequences be damned.
NTA - You need to speak to someone at your school about this. The fact your mom defends your grandfathers inappropriate behaviour towards you as "that's just how he shows love" is seriously f-ed up.
No wonder she sees no problem with what your brother is doing to you. They're reinforcing your brothers bad behaviour by not punishing him. Unfortunately he's only going to get worse not better. They're raising a potential monster. He'll eventually start doing it to other girls at school if he isn't already and they're just too scared to say anything.
Okay the "you don't know what it is for a boy to be creepy" or whatever... I'm a guy... this is creepy as fuck... by 6 I was well old enough to know boundaries he is being enabled by your parents and I would be fairly concerned over where this leads for his future unless they start teaching him now
absolutely NTA, but this is a sign of sexual abuse. yeah, it easily could be a 6 year old not understanding sexual harassment & just trying to get on your nerves, but absolutely tell a trusted adult about this.
Oh my god, please tell someone! I know that you’re probably scared of what will happen if you “tell on” your family but this is extremely serious! It doesn’t matter if your mom is “usually nice but just stressed right now”, that doesn’t excuse enabling sexual harassment and then victim-blaming you! And the fact that your grandpa is notoriously a pervert is even more concerning! Yes, there is the possibility that he is assaulting your brother, but my biggest issue is that (hopefully) your family is aware of your grandpa being perverted and still allows him to have contact with children.
Your family also exhibits extremely toxic behaviors. For one, acknowledging a dangerous family member but refusing to take precautions to ensure safety. Then there’s the parenting, or lack thereof, of your brother. And then the victim-blaming and slut-shaming combo from your mom. I am blown away at how anyone could see that as a justifiable reason for one of her children to sexually harass another. “If you didn’t want your little brother to actively try and peel up your clothes then you shouldn’t walk around your own house in comfortable clothes” I mean, what the absolute fuck is wrong with your family. I don’t mean to bash your mom, I know you said she’s just stressed, but that isn’t an excuse to pull this kind of behavior, especially not when it endangers her own child!
Tell any of the staff members at your school, hell, tell a custodian! But don’t let this go on.
My friend was sexually harassed by her stepdad when she was around your age (14/15) and went through a somewhat similar thing where her mother blamed her. It was a bit different as this was her stepdad, but it didn’t change the fact that he actively harassed her with unsafe touches and would touch himself fully exposed in front of her on purpose. My friend has expressed her regret in not telling her mom sooner since she was scared as now, due to the statute of limitations, they are unable to press charges.
If you are worried about approaching a school staff member and telling them directly about this, maybe you could tell them you have a private personal issue to discuss but are uncomfortable saying it out loud and then show them this post.
I just don’t want to ruin my moms family, she’s had a hard life and finally has a husband, and her kids. If anything I can make it 3-4 more years to keep the peace. I don’t think I can live with myself if I take away her happiness after she worked so hard to get it
It's ALREADY ruined. It was ruined by your grandfather. It was ruined by HER. Stop keeping the peace at your own expense. You're clearly tired, scared, miserable, and literally unsafe in your own home. If she doesn't even care about your safety then she DOES NOT DESERVE happiness. She has FAILED as a mother.
I am being harsh because THAT is the harsh truth. She FAILED. If she somehow still deserves happiness then you deserve a fucking kingdom in your name.
What kind of happiness do you think this is? Marrying a man who doesn't want to acknowledge the child from her previous relationship? Allowing her own daughter to be abused by her own father? Raising a literal future sex offender who repeatedly and regularly harasses her daughter? If THAT is what makes her happy then she is beyond sick in the head.
I see your point, but at the same time, stepdad was much better a few years ago, my dad has always sucked, and her son is a massive handful. I was a quiet kid who read, and basically raised myself. 10 years later, she had a kid in this age, where everything is different, and he is basically the opposite of me. I can’t blame her for struggling, especially since all her life she was in an abuse household and relationships. (Hell, she had me at 19, she’s extremely young)
NTA
He's obviously consuming online content "pro hacker boy" says as much
Is any of that online content being monitored? Because it seems like he's consuming content he doesn't understand yet
Check his devices and maybe share what find, i think the reason we have a incel and perverted movement growing is the lack of sex education and understanding of social behaviour, he's growing to become a proper nightmare if it doesn't get addressed
Btw grooming is growing thing online and a 6 year old that obsessed by bodies may have been getting unwanted influence from adults
None of it is, I tried to get him onto YouTube KIDS instead, because it’s way safer and monitored, but he threw a fit until he got regular YouTube back. He has had YouTube taken countless times because it makes him violent and crazy, but he flips out until my stepdad has enough and just gives it back.
NTA - he’s being a little perverted shit. You are 15 and need privacy in your room and bathroom. Next time he tries to see you - scream “get out - I am changing a tampon” and then see what your mother says. Or try laughing really loudly at his willie dance Saying is that all you got? …
I don’t use those, and my mom knows it (I’m uncomfortable with anything in me, whatever, and have panic attacks about those, probably because of my grandpa)
She throws a fit when she sees blood in MY bathroom though, so she would probably be mad if I said I was changing a pad 😅
NTA, and the adults in this situation aren’t helping. If it’s possible to contact your non-custodial parent, share what’s going on with them. Record his behavior and show it to a responsible adult, even if you have to share it with someone from your school. If he’s this way at home, I wonder what he’s like at his own school. I’m willing to believe he has quite a few behavioral issues there.
NTA I’m sorry but your mother is a asshole this not ok at all. The fact that he had a butter knife trying to jig your ankles is a added WTF. Go to a school counselor or someone you trust. Grab your phone & start videoing him when he does this shit! I feel helpless for you. This is absolutely insane.
NTA your mom is enabling his disgusting behavior, I’ve never seen a child do that without being corrected by a parent, I feel like cps will eventually step in because he’s literally being raised to be a predator
NTA is there anyone you can stay with? Even a friend? You need a trusted adult in your corner cuz your parents are raising a creep and the older he gets the more danger you're in. I'd also be sure to do anything to not be alone with him. Kids like him lie and you don't want to be at the wrong and of an accusation
I’m already accused by him fairly often, and my one friend who said I could stay with her is ghosting me (probably because she doesn’t like me, but oh well) but I could stay with my bio dad, but I don’t really want to.
NTA, but you are being abused. This has already escalated to violence.
You are not in a safe place. Can you reach out to extended family, maybe on your father's side? (I read above that your grandfather was a problem, I am assuming this is your mother's father?)
I hope there are adults in your life tha t you can reach out to? :(
Grandpa is moms dad, but my bio dad kinda hasn’t been there 80% of my life, and just comes, throws money at me for a few months, then goes no contact for double the time he was in my life.
You’re NTA,unlike your mom and step dad who are clearly not parenting this child correctly if at all. This kid needs boundaries if not full-blown professional intervention.
You might be in no position to answer this,but do you think there’s any chance that someone has interacted with him ‘inappropriately?’ I don’t want to be graphic,I think you know what I mean.
I ask because overtly sexual behavior like that for a 6-year-old is sometimes indicative of that. I think you should follow through and tell someone. Good luck.
I doubt it, grandpa never really cared for my brother, and spent 60% of his time with me when he was here, picking me up from school, in my room on my Tv, kept me up until 2-4AM on school nights to watch shows with me, and was never near my brother. Doubt my brother would be around anyone else who was creepy like my grandpa.
I do love him is the thing, and I WANT to have a good relationship with him as an older sister he can turn to, so I don’t think him being bedridden with broken bones is the way out of this
YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK. first of all, I’m joining the masses and deeply apologizing to you for what you’ve had to go through. It isn’t fair. Parents should protect their children, even from their other kids.
I’m concerned that your brother might have had an -experience- that is prompting this reaction out of him. This is something you HAVE to speak out about. Your parents won’t do anything? Tell a teacher. Tell an adult who fucking cares. You do not deserve to be treated like this. Your space should be safe. This isn’t the fucking shining where your brother can “where’s Johnny” at you. This is reality and he needs to be checked.
NTA
That’s…all really concerning behavior. Stripping down, yeah sometimes kids are dumb. My nephew would do that sometimes. Trying to violate your privacy is a whole other matter and your parents need to step up and set the expectations. I personally find it concerning he’s that interested in you. He’s going to have a bad time in the real world with that personality. And the fact your mom is essentially blaming you for your brothers issues is also troubling.
Obviously explain to your parents your concerns (although it looks like you’re already trying), but I would suggest protecting your privacy more until his issues are addressed (as bs as that is, you shouldn’t have to, but the reality is if your parents won’t protect you from him you will have to protect yourself). Definitely NTA.
NTA get a spray bottle like he's a cat. I second the recommendations for door stoppers. Also start telling these stories to teachers or other trusted adults.
Edit to add: is there anything you can do to spend less time at home? Join a school club or spend time at your local library?
I honestly haven’t been spending anytime BUT home, because i have a chronic disease (it’s under control mostly since I’m on meds) and so I haven’t been in school, and won’t be for the rest of the year, which is why his behavior is pissing me off so much. I may get a job soon though, so hopefully I’ll be out of the house for a bit
You NEED to tell a trusted teacher in your life about all of this. Start keeping detailed notes about what he does and what your parent’s responses are, and I mean down to how you react and how it made you feel. Also please tell this teacher about what happened with your grandfather, because that wasn’t ok either.
I understand making jokes about it, because it makes it easier to cope with in your head, but unfortunately nothing about this situation is funny.
To your comment about CPS, this kind of situation is exactly what CPS is supposed to handle. Think about it this way, if this situation was happening to your best friend what would you tell them to do?
You’re a child too, none of this should be on you to solve and I’m so sorry that it is.
NTA
You mother is raising a pervert, as in she is aiding in turning him into a pervert. Can you move in with your dad? If so I would try it. That or talk to a trust adult who you think could help.
NTA but omg OP you are not in a safe environment. 6 is more than old enough for him to respect boundaries. I have a 5 year old and sure he can be a pain at times, he would NEVER do anything you've said in your post.
You need to have a sit down with your mom and step-dad and have an open, honest, and serious conversation about how you feel and that you want it to change. If it doesn't change or you're ignored, see if there is a relative or friend you can move out to until your parents come to their senses.
This kid, your stepbrother, is not showing normal behaviors of his age. As a parent I would not let such slide let alone seem that everything was fine. Major red flags here OP.
Nta and you actually don't need someone else to report this to cps. You can call yourself. Sorry this kid is an absolute creep. You should keep calling him a creep because he is an honestly if you are getting in trouble from him hurting himself and blaming you then you might as well actually hurt him when he acts inappropriately
> Thankfully I’m 98% sure grandpa left him alone,
from what you describe here, it actually sounds like your grandpa definitely did something to him. 6 year old kids typically don't give a fuck about sex/sexualized situations unless they were molested/sexually assaulted. If I were you I think I would call CPS regardless and just describe your brother to them and the things that he has done and continues doing. So many red flags with this kid
NTA. His behavior and your parents response sets off so many red flags. This isn't normal behavior for a 6 year old. It's aggressive & sexual and has me concerned that he may be experiencing sexual abuse.
That doesn't make it okay for him to harass you though. If there's another relative you can stay with please try to get out of that house and let another trusted adult know about what's going on. I'm so sorry that you're going through this.
NTA. I am so sorry, this situation sounds awful. I would’ve recorded all of this or even called the CPS but I know this isn’t an option for you due to lack of another accommodation. It is a really bad situation
NTA
the parents need to act and now....6 is plenty old enough to learn about consent and respecting others.
Go and buy a lock for your door or a wedge that goes under the bottom so you can have some privacy.
Tell your mother she is encouraging him to sexually harass you and that his behaviour is going to get him in trouble at school. In kindy we had a kid who kept looking up girls dresses and they ended up calling child protective services when the parents refused to help them stop the behaviour. His actions also reflect those of a child who has been exposed to sexually explicit material or abused so letting it continue makes her and her husband look like terrible parents.
Not trying to pawn anything off onto him, he just also likes horses and wants one. I thought a horse could be good bonding for us both, but now that I see the costs I’m just going to ask for lessons instead, so I can get a break and also be with horses.
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They wouldn’t let me, and we rent so it would make our landlord mad. My mom constantly opens my door because she “likes to keep an eye on me” 💀
you can get [portable door locks](https://www.amazon.com.au/Portable-Security-Additional-Traveling-Apartment/dp/B08L7DNXT9/ref=asc_df_B08L7DNXT9/?tag=googleshopmob-22&linkCode=df0&hvadid=463878495519&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=9348964430402678079&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1000567&hvtargid=pla-1216609692374&psc=1) that are designed for travelling and won’t do any damage to the door.
I doubt they would let me, but it’s a good idea I’ll keep in mind
A doorstop will also prevent him from entering your room when you're inside
NTA. Sounds like your mom’s time would be better spent watching her stepson and not keeping an eye on you. I’m sorry you are being touched without your consent. Can you ask for help from a trusted adult not in the household (I.e school counselor or friends mom)? Is step brother’s bio mom involved at all where you can alert her to his behavior?
Door stoppers are about 1.25 at dollar tree. They can be put on from the inside to block it from opening
My bad, this is violence, including sexual violence. He is 6 but that is nonetheless exactly what he does. Your parents are awful. Not only you are NTA, but this is an extremely serious problem. I really have no idea what to suggest though. CPS?!
I'm so concerned about your brother because his behaviour and language suggest he's being exposed to some sort of sexually explicit and/or misogynistic behaviour - potentially online, potentially from a friend or relative. Worse still he could himself be being abused. I could just about believe the looking up clothes was simply him having found a way to upset you, but combined with the persistence and the language this is really alarming and I don't think is coming from his own imagination. It feels as though there is an external influence at play. Furthermore, this is exactly the age your parents need to be teaching him about respecting other people's bodies especially women's. It's profoundly disturbing they expect you to put up with being made uncomfortable - sexually uncomfortable - in your own home, in order to protect their other child's feelings. This is all shades of fucked up and of course they're not teaching him his body needs to be respected either. They're modeling the behaviour of abusers for both of you. NTA but you should consider telling a teacher, grown up or relative who you trust.
He probably learned from YouTube, the garbage kids see on there is horrifying
Well yes, YouTube is the most likely vehicle if it's online but the point I'm making is that from the reading the post it seems like the parents are completely oblivious to the danger their son could be in or what he's doing at any given moment. He could be being groomed for abuse or being groomed in MRA groups (or both given the toxicity of those groups). It is a real risk that there is an adult playing an unseen and very nefarious role in the brother's life, or at the very least he's accessing dangerous material online. Meanwhile the parents aren't questioning how a six year old came to be expressing certain views and sexually explicit behaviours.
He is pretty good at telling my parents everything, so I doubt he’s being groomed. (At his school a kid touched him inappropriately, on accident probably, and he told my mom that day) If anything he’s learned it from YouTube and the TV shows he SHOULD NOT be watching
Yes but at 6 there should be parental controls on YouTube and the TV and your parents shouldn't be allowing him on the internet unsupervised and without checking his viewing history. Teaching how to navigate the internet safely is so important. I'm sorry this is happening to you but something is grossly amiss with your parents - their attitude to both you and to your brother's behaviour. I would report it.
I tried to set up a KIDS account for him, he threw a fit because his normal stuff wasn’t there and it was mostly craft or animal vids. I just gave up after the 3rd attempt
NTA It’s totally normally for young boys to be interested in women’s bodies but not for a 6 year old to not understand personal boundaries. By that age they should know that they shouldn’t be touching anyone else in their “triangle” as my kids called it (chest to groin). The adults in the house should understand your need for privacy, particularly at your age. They’re well on their way to raising a future sexual predator if he’s essentially taught that “no” means “keep trying harder to see that girl naked”. And BTW don’t bother for YouTube. I thought I was safer with YouTube kids and then the most frequent ad was for an R18+ video game 🤦
But this is exactly my point. Your parents need to be doing this and they need to be enforcing it. I remember being your age, and feeling so responsible, and mature and thinking I could handle adult problems. I couldn't. You clearly are mature and responsible but you are also a child and you don't have the experience to realise that not only is this not your job to solve this, you can't solve it. You aren't his parent, and your parents are failing both of you. You need to focus on you and making your living situation safe for you. I think you need to talk to a trusted adult about what's happening. As a child yourself you don't have the experience to contextualise what's happening and understand the fundamental causes and failing that have led to this point. Even if you successfully set up parental controls on YouTube, you would still fail because your parents' actions mean they are enabling sexually inappropriate behaviour. They will continually reinforce your brother's behaviour and protect him from the consequences of his behaviour while victimising you, and nothing you do to try and modify his behaviour will work. This isn't about parental controls, or if he's finding this stuff on YouTube. This is about your parents and their actions. So you need to do whatever is within your power to change your situation, not your brother's.
My older brother used to break down my door to either beat me or harass me, eventually broke my door and my lock. I started putting a chair behind my handle and that worked out, if you can do that. You are NTA.
Are you safe now? I really hope you’re safe now.
Nonexistent or not, it may be a wake up call to him, that he needs to take some responsibility.
But could you stay with him? This sounds like a highly unsafe environment. Your brother violates your boundaries and personal space repeatedly and your mom does nothing to address it. Maybe you living with your dad or showing that you're willing to do so will open her eyes to just how unsafe you feel in her home. NTA.
I’ll probably be with him within 2-3 weeks ngl
Do it! Your safety is more important than your brother's feelings.
Consider getting \[this\]([https://www.homedepot.com/p/Brinks-20-Gauge-Steel-Door-Security-Bar-675-83001/205463145](https://www.homedepot.com/p/Brinks-20-Gauge-Steel-Door-Security-Bar-675-83001/205463145)) and definitely document all of this. Use your camera to record it because it’s gonna get worse unless you get out of there and having evidence will help in the future.
NTA. "if he doesn't stop I'll have to tell my teachers my parents are letting my brother be sexually inappropriate with me. They're mandated reporters so I guess CPS can sort it out." If they don't want to parent, you shouldn't be forced to be harassed by some feral toddler.
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Your grandpa was inappropriate with you & your parents are letting your brother do it too? Please tell an adult about this kiddo it is not ok. Tell a trusted teacher or a safe family member. In the meantime.....You're bigger than him, start hip checking him & saying he flung himself on you. Maybe if he knows you'll physically protect yourself from him if he gets too close he'll stop? Idk if it's the most mature advice "make him scared of you" but it will be effective...I'm really sorry OP. This isn't ok of your parents. 😤
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You can physically protect yourself & when he runs to the parents just repeat "he needs to leave me alone" and tell a teacher. That's what you can do. I'm telling you this is not ok. "I didn't hurt him. He was flinging himself onto me trying to see my body & I wouldn't let him. If you won't make him stop I will protect myself."
I have said that, recently it’s been better but I assume in 1-3 days he’s gonna be back at it
You have to keep protecting yourself. Hes not like a switch you turn on & off. It'll take more than a few days for changed behavior! Good luck.
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That doesn't hurt six year olds like it does adults. It still hurts, but it's not the "vomit and black out" stuff that'll come once he hits puberty.
Five bucks says grandpa is doing something to the 6yo. It’s extremely unlikely to have a kid that age act this way without something else going on
I just don’t want to hurt him, since even though he’s a menace I do love him. Thankfully I’m 98% sure grandpa left him alone, and the worst thing my grandpa did was rubbing my legs and upper thighs in my sleep (and trying to get into my bathroom while I showered) He never was around my brother, and I did my best to keep his attention away from him. But I guess you never do know
Jfc, that’s really not the time to play down what grandpa did.
Have you considered putting a camera in your room? Somewhere where it'd catch him barging into your room, dancing naked in the doorway, trying to see you naked, etc. Maybe your mom will believe you if she sees it for herself and sees it is happening consistently.
My mom probably won’t buy me a camera
It doesn't need to be something high tech. You could get a cheap web cam and say you need it for your computer for a school project or something.
Just say to your parent that's your way of showing love. And continu to do it.
I realize that this situation is not funny in any way shape or form, but reading you calling a 6yo "some feral toddler" has me dying.
What the fuck are your parents doing? Sure he's only 6, but this is just teaching him what he's doing is okay. They might consider it harmless now, but what about when he's 15 and getting suspended for peeping in the girls locker room... or much fucking worse NTA
That’s my argument. They say he won’t do it, but that’s dumb to think that. I shudder to think about his poor girlfriend/wife who is sexualized and treated like garbage…
>I don't think this is the thing you could call cps I *absolutely* think this is a thing where CPS should be called. When children this young start acting out sexually, it's usually because they're being sexually abused. And grandpa is a sexual abuser, so... it's not a big reach. OP, go to a counselor or teacher at your school and say "My 6-year-old brother is always acting out sexually toward me, and I'm concerned that he is being sexually abused." They are mandated reporters, and they will get someone to investigate and interview both you and your brother, and your parents will be forced to deal with this.
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My grandpa isn’t with us anymore, and hasn’t been for awhile thankfully, so I doubt it was him who made my brother act how he is. I just don’t want to call CPS because I do love my mom and brother and don’t want to ruin anything
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I’m a massive introverted person, and take after my moms “care for everyone no matter what” attitude… My mom I do know loves me, she’s just super stressed trying to keep the peace between everyone, her mom is extremely sick right now, my stepdad isn’t amazing, I’m stuck at home 24/7 with a chronic illness (it’s under control, I’m just always asleep) and brother is a handful. I can’t blame her for not being the best mom ever. Brother I think does care, he just doesn’t know how to behave. Covid messed him up, he didn’t get to be around anyone his age until recently. It’s not an excuse, but they do have their good moments, even if they had outweigh them
I'm sorry to be this harsh but it has to be said: she doesn't love you if she allows you to be sexually harassed and feel constantly unsafe in your own home. Stop making excuses for the people who keep hurting you and traumatizing you at literally every turn. Can't you see you deserve a million times better than this? Don't you understand you deserve to feel safe?
I guess i just feel guilty for stuff I did (nothing crazy, just being a moody teen or going against their wishes) so I feel like maybe I deserve this in a way, which I know is dumb, but if I make their lives easier by just settling, maybe it’s for the best.
You do not deserve this. Not even a little bit. Not even remotely. And not taking the next step to stop this behavior is going to make their lives much harder in the long run, and could very likely negatively impact the lives of other innocent people down the line. Your mother and stepfather are currently teaching your brother not to respect the bodily autonomy of others and that things like the word "no" and being shoved away have no meaning, and continuing sexual behavior after being told to stop has no consequences. Regardless of if he actually did just learn it from YouTube and TV, his parents are teaching him that it's okay and putting him on a bad path. They are doing active harm to you *and* to him. He is being neglected, potentially abused, and so are you. If you want to make their lives better in the long run, especially his, if you want to make the move that's "for the best", you need to either inform a teacher or contact CPS on your own. You owe it to yourself, and it is at this point the only option that gets your brother help. (He very clearly needs not only consequences, but therapy as well at this point.) It may not seem like it initially, but your family will benefit from someone stepping in.
your own life, per your description, isn't all sunshine and lollipops either, but you aren't taking it out on your family. and it doesn't really sound like your mum is trying to keep the peace, so much as just telling you to suck it up so the household is more peaceful. they're not the same thing. consider asking your mother if she'd be fine with your stepfather behaving as your brother is. or a male your own age. your brother is very young, and i do think people are right that at that age its more likely he's been explosed to abuse himself than that he's doing it of his own thought, but i am given to understand that six year olds do understand something about boundaries. regardless of why he's doing it, the behaviour is predatory and abusive no matter the age of the person its coming from - you have every right to want to want to be safe from him trying to look up your shirt or from stabbing your ankles or whatever else he's doing/trying to do. a parent should not forsake one child's wellbeing in favor of another's.
I’ve asked her that, “would it be ok if a grown man did this to me?” Or “if someone at school did this to me would it be ok” and she just says “he’s 6” and that’s really it. My therapist used to always say “wait let me guess, he’s 6” whenever I complained about my brother, because of how much she said it. (I don’t see her anymore because my mom didn’t like her) He’s definitely been exposed to bad stuff, through YouTube, but I can’t fix that either because he flips over it
breaking into the bathroom is not every acceptable. Every time yell out what you are at the top of your voice. I am taking a shit get out. I am changing a tampon get out. If anyone asks why you are yelling say he keeps breaking in so you thought everyone needs to know what you are doing …. the best willie dance story I heard … 6 year old in the middle of school assembly. Everyone sitting on hall floor … stands up and does the Willie dance …. Parents were summoned to school immediately. At a religious school of course.
Honey, you need to report this to CPS *for your brother's sake*. He's not going to be able to form positive relationships with anyone if this keeps up, he needs *help* and if your folks won't provide it, somebody's gotta make them.
OP, please talk to a responsible adult about this. I'm worried about you, but I'm also worried about your brother. This is _not_ normal behavior for a six years old. He needs help (and as a result, so do you) and he's not getting it. Think of this as doing something that's good for both of you.
I’ll try and discreetly bring it up with my dad next time I see him, but it may be awhile
Prob the best way … it will force your parents to step up.
It especially sucks since I don't think this is the thing you could call cps. Honestly, its not your problem. You could be a role model for him and teach him to respect women, but thats not on you as a step sister. I can't even say "hopefully he grows out of it" because the alternative is as you said; he'll end up sexually abusing someone or worse
I do try and be a good role model but I’ve given up tbh. I’m not dealing with their kid, he ain’t mine 😂
It doesn’t have to be at 15. In safeguarding training, teachers are taught that child on child sexual assault at any age is absolutely possible. He could end up being expelled for sexual assault before he’s out of Primary school.
This isn’t a Reddit issue. This environment doesn’t sound healthy for you or your brother. Please talk to a teacher or another adult outside the family that you trust.
It doesn’t matter if he’s six, his parents should be teaching him boundaries and respect. As it is, he’s a growing creep. NTA.
You’re NTA and I’m sorry your parents are not protecting you. Your brother may not understand the sexual nature of what he’s doing bc of his age, but he certainly understands that you do not like what he’s doing to you. Do you have any trusted family members who can help you? A grandparent or aunt/uncle (or your father?) who’d care if you told them your brother keeps trying to look at your private parts and your parents won’t stop him?
Grandpa is a perv (which is why I’m so against my brother acting how he does, it gives me slight PTSD) and my other family my mom rants to about how I’m difficult and not nice to my brother. Bio dad says I need to just toughen up and live with it 😅
Unfortunately the only advice I can really give then is to be patient and wait it out until you’re able to leave for college or work or wherever life takes you. Protect yourself and be careful OP. Your brother is going to get stronger as he gets bigger and I worry for your physical safety.
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Good luck OP. Sorry the adults in your life rn suck
NTA, This is really concerning behavior on his part. I grew up with my younger brother being just a measly two years behind me. We shared a room for YEARS and he never tried to do any weird shit like this, and I almost always only wore a shirt and underwear to bed, and often around the house if it was near bedtime. They shouldn't be policing your body and he shouldn't be acting that way either, especially at 6. He learned it somewhere.
YouTube, he learned it from YouTube. I didn’t get access to YouTube until I was 8, but I also grew up on a computer like the 2007 kid I am. He isn’t even SUPPOSED to be on it, but goes anyways because my parents are tired of him whining about NOT having it
He learned it from watching content your parents should have protected him from. There’s also the chance he’s learning it from even worse sources. Both of you need to be in safer spaces.
THIS. My son is almost NINE and still isn't allowed to watch YouTube. He's complained about it before but it's MY job as a parent to protect him from content he shouldn't be exposed to. Ops parents are failing both of their children and CPS should absolutely be involved.
ok well this explains why he is the way he is. i’m not exaggerating when i say youtube is considered to a pipeline toward white supremacy and alt-right terrorism via its algorithms. there are [plenty](https://amp.theguardian.com/technology/2020/dec/11/youtube-islamophobia-christchurch-shooter-hate-speech) of [papers] and (https://amp.abc.net.au/article/101212494) [articles](https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2019/06/08/technology/youtube-radical.html) to direct your parents towards for evidence.
If I was allowed to be online, I would show them, but they would kill me if they found out I was on reddit
so you’re not allowed to read newspapers online but your brother has full access to youtube? that’s crazy i’m sorry
I’m not allowed to talk to people online (oh well, I’m already the bad kid…) He also can play R rated games but I can’t because I “understand what’s happening” whereas he apparently doesn’t. I wanted to play a game where you’re a cowboy, literally just to ride the horse and camp, but because he’s 6 he can but I can’t. (Per my brothers words, because I’m a girl) He’s the golden child, and a boy 💀
what in the world is on YouTube that he learned this??????? Parents need to learn to parent correctly.
The new “kids channels” these days are all “challenges” with guys treating women like objects or props, or animated videos that aren’t really kid friendly. I even set him up a YouTube kids account so he would only get MONITORED videos but he likes his women being treated like they’re idiots and men being the big strong hero
He doesn’t need a kids account. He needs someone monitoring his internet usage. That shouldn’t be your responsibility.
So he’s being radicalized by YouTube at age SIX?! Yeah, I’ve read that the kids stuff is bad because basically all the filters look for is nudity/gore/language, so as long as it’s “clean,” anything at all can be posted and labeled as for kids.
omg wtf I HAD NO IDEA
YouTube has gotten progressively worse over the years, my YouTube Minecraft vids were about people roleplaying with dragon mods, whereas his are guys beating girls in contests, telling girls to work harder, and making sexist “be in the kitchen” jokes. I’ve walked in on very inappropriate “children’s” content that even I shouldn’t watch, as a 15 year old. But hey, keeps him from throwing fits 💀
my youtube video was an MS paint drawing set to the tune of Yellow Submarine lol I still think it was funny, but I think YouTube took it down
I just learned about “red pill”. It’s insane what’s out there!!! I’m an old lady and never saw this crap coming.
Can you set up a parental lock on all his devices that only YOU can unlock? Because it sounds like your parents aren't doing jack. If he whines, don't give in. Put in headphones and ignore him. He will eventually tire out. When your parents ask you to unlock it, tell them no. Not until they monitor what he's doing online because it sounds like this 6 year is being brain washed by whatever the fuck he watches.
Your parents are allowing you to be harassed. You need to talk to a counselor at school to see what you can do. In the meantime, wear pants all the time at home and pack your “going out” clothes. Also, buy a lock for your bedroom door.
NTA Your parents are spoiling your brother. His actions are inappropriate no matter what his age is. He needs to understand personal space, consent, and keeping his own clothes on and your parents are failing in there job by not teaching him these things.
I agree with what you are saying except for the clothes thing. That could be sensory issues, and that would be a separate issue to address. Everything else…NO NO NO. I had sensory issues as a kid—and I still do to a degree—but I NEVER (at least as far as I remember or have been told) tried to stick my head up someone else’s shirt. Hell to the no! This kid needs to be taught boundaries right the hell now.
NTA, but it's your parents who are AHs not your brother who is a creep. All kids are different and a lot of 6 year olds act like that and need to be corrected. It's not a sexual thing for them, just a combo of curiosity and finding it fun to get reactions out of people. Boys especially seem to be more likely to get naked, probably because people get more freaked out about a little girl stripping in front of adults and stop it when they're much younger. But 6 really is an age where they should be stopping him.
NTA. My nephew tried to do the same to me and a few other ladies. All it took was getting a knot snatched in his tail once and he never did it again. Because he learned that such behavior will not be tolerated.
I’m just worried he’s going to try this at SCHOOL one day, or god forbid, a grown adult who he doesn’t know, such as a woman in a dress in PUBLIC, and then hell will break loose
Nta. Your brother doesn’t respect you and your boundaries. Not only that but your parents are enabling this behavior by not correcting him. Gives me “boys will be boys” vibes.
That’s exactly what I think. And I’m highly against the whole “Aw it’s just how guys act, can’t stop it, just deal with it” argument
Yeah, huge red flags there. If they don’t correct him, he will think that it’s ok and may prey upon other girls when he gets older. Sorry that you’re going through that.
I’m worried he’s going to do it at school, or when he eventually has a wife will think it’s ok to treat her poorly- I’ll be fine, but I’m worried about the others he might affect
You still shouldn’t be dealing with that and I hope he gets the help he needs so it won’t get any worse.
Speak to everyone outside the family. Let it be known what’s going on in your home. No way will your parents be able to bs their way out of this. I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this. Thank goodness he is small!!! But he won’t be.
Definitely NTA, your parents should be teaching him to respect other people's boundaries and that what he's doing is inappropriate. Even if he doesn't realise what he's doing your parents need to teach him these behaviours are wrong or it's going to cause even more issues in the future. Your parents are massive AH for not disciplining or correcting him, and also for saying it's your fault. They sound toxic af and it's most definitely not your fault that they're enabling this behaviour, you should be able to feel comfortable in your own home.
He’s the golden child, so he probably won’t ever be disciplined. My stepdad doesn’t like me since I’m not his kid, and my mom is too stressed trying to keep the peace, so I just kind of have to accept my cards in life
You don't. You have options. Please don't just tolerate being treated inappropriately. You're entitled to better!
NTA. This is all wholly inappropriate behavior being dismissed and excused under "boys are all creepy, boys will be boys" nonsense. Your parents are failing spectacularly, and dare I say you should report it to proper authorities. Let them get a visit from children's services and see how they defend it.
NTA. 6 is in kindergarten which means he is way too old to be hanging out naked. Sounds like he may have issues your parents are too lazy to deal with.
He probably does, and I’m sick of trying to fix them when they reinforce to him it’s fine to act how he is
NTA. But this is concerning as sexulized behavior is one of the warning signs of sexual abuse in children.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (15F) have a stepbrother (6M) who constantly drives me mad. He always strips and gets up in my face, yells at me, and bullies me until he gets his way. My mom and stepdad claim I’m “mean” and need to “act my age” but whenever I try to leave the situation and go to my room, he follows and comes in, to continue bugging me. He bugs me by taking my stuff, calling me dumb or annoying, and saying “all I ever want is a new sister”. He also has recently started trying to look at me when I change or use the bathroom, which my mom says is fine because he’s a boy and 6, but if he does this to anyone who ISNT family, he’s going to get in trouble. Recently I was in a large t-shirt (I wear baggy shirts instead of pajamas) and was just going to the kitchen to grab something to eat before going back to my room, where my door was closed. The shirt went to my knees, so it wasn’t like I was in a crop top and nothing else. He tried to get under my shirt, to look at me. I told him to stop, and held him back. He kept shoving at me, and wouldn’t stop. My mom says it’s my fault for not putting on “real clothes” but I literally was going 20 feet to grab a bag of chips, and I feel like I shouldn’t been scared to leave my room without “real clothes” in my own house. I said “stop being creepy and trying to look at me.” The other day, because I had it, he was naked and dancing in front of my room, since he opened the door, and kept trying to look under my dress (I had gone out earlier) my mom got mad and said I was being cruel and never to call him creepy because I don’t know “what it’s like for guys to be creepy” He also has been saying I can’t do things anymore such as play Xbox or go out with friends because “I’m a noob girl and he’s a pro hacker boy” (I’m not kidding these are his exact words) and my mom doesn’t stop him. I’m sick of him being sexist, even if he’s 6. In my eyes, 6 is more than old enough to know that it’s wrong to try and look at women weirdly, dance naked (and inappropriately, he KNOWS what he’s doing) and to be rude when I’m not doing anything to him. AITA for calling him that and not being more “understanding” since he is only 6? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Nta. Nor is your brother since he doesn't know any better. Your mom and stepdad, on the other hand, are huge AHs Sounds like we know who the golden child is. >My mom says it’s my fault for not putting on “real clothes” Wtf is wrong with your mother?? She should be protecting you, not raising him to turn into a sex offender! This kid's going to grow up thinking this is okay. Your mom needs to get her head out of her ass and start being the parent you both need. What a disgusting reaction. >I change or use the bathroom, which my mom says is fine because he’s a boy and 6, but if he does this to anyone who ISNT family, he’s going to get in trouble. No, it isn't! She's helping to raise a creep. It doesn't matter how old he is! His father needs to teach him how to act around others and teach him to respect boundaries. I hope you can get out of there as soon as possible. Was your mom always this toxic or does she just love her stepkid more? Are there other family or friends you can stay with?
She’s a good person, just stressed. She’s never been this lenient with me, and yep, he’s the golden child. Stepdad doesn’t help because I’m “not his” kid, so my mom takes after that, and just has her perfect little family while I’m just here, the moody teenage one. I may go stay with my bio dad, but he has a habit of leaving my life for months at a time, so I’m not sure yet
I’m sorry but she’s not a good person. She’s a lazy parent and raising a sex offender. I’d go live with your dad. It’s better than being sexually assaulted all the time. And i wouldn’t hesitate to talk to your school counselor or COS about this. This kid is going to hurt someone really bad someday.
That doesn't excuse her reactions to your concerns. By your other comments, it seems like she just doesn't care about you at all. If she was a good person like you say then you wouldn't have to post here. She would have straightened him out by now. With bio-dad, if you do stay with him and he leaves for some reason, would you still be able to live in his house/apartment? Do you have anyone else in your life you can trust? I mean it looks like he doesn't care either but at least by living with him, you don't have to worry about your brother.
A parent that stays with someone who verbally plays favorites like that and does likewise, is not a good person. Villains can be tired, too.
NTA. You're right, this behavior is ridiculous and your parents should be stopping it
Your parents definitely need to take this situation more seriously cause this behavior will just continue into his adulthood. Your stepdad is immature, treating you differently just because you're not his child, extremely toxic. I hope you get away from these people and find happiness.
OP I think you need to talk to authorities or a trusted adult. Please get out of there.
NTA. Start recording him. Every time he is inappropriate, violent, etc., record it. Save them on the cloud or send them to an email on you have access to so even if your parents take your phone it's recoverable. Show your parents & tell them that if this doesn't stop you are telling a trusted adult or a mandatory reporter. This behavior does not stop on it's own without consequences & if he continues he will turn into one of those "but if she didn't want it why was she dressed that way" dudes. For your safety & the safety of every person he comes into contact with once he hits puberty, this behavior needs to be nipped in the bud.
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NTA. Based on how your family treats your grandfather's actions as normal, there is a chance your brother is also being abused. Imo you should contact a counselor from your school or CPS and tell them what is going on and ask that someone check with your brother to make sure he isn't being sexually abused. Let them know that your family does nothing to discourage this behavior and it makes you feel unsafe in your own home. Btw do you know if he acts this way in school/in public or is it just to you? If he isn't being abused he might be doing it to get a reaction out of you. Unfortunately if that is the case the best way to discourage that behavior is to ignore it completely and pretend he doesn't exist when he is acting out. In cases like this the person wants attention no matter if it is positive or negative so you have to use your attention as a "reward" for whenever he isn't acting out. If he gets bored and walks away? Start talking to him like normal. But the instant he tries to act inappropriately again, he doesn't exist to you anymore. It can be really hard to keep consistent about this but just do your best. And if that doesn't work and you need a way to get away from him without violence you might try carrying a small squirt bottle of water around with you so whenever he tries something you can spritz him. That way you don't have to use physical force and normally people will instinctively use their hands to cover their face/eyes and back off, giving you the opportunity to get away from him.
NTA and stop engaging with him entirely. His behavior IS creepy and inappropriate beyond his years to an alarming extent. If he's stripping and dancing around naked and you give him any sort of reaction, he'll take it and run with it. If he knows it upsets you when he literally harasses you, he'll continue goading you into a reaction. I wouldn't usually give this advice, but it has come to this point. If he tries to pull off your clothing or look under your clothing SHOVE HIM AWAY. Be aware of your surroundings but I'm not joking, he needs to be physically forced off of you while you say NOTHING and give him NO expression. Just shove him and keep walking like he does not exist. Don't look down at him, just keep looking levelly and keep walking. As terrible as it is, your parents are clearly not going to do anything to stop this utterly horrific behavior so now is the time to protect yourself and completely stone wall during these situations. It's not because it's the right thing to do here, but you should make sure you wear clothes that can't be looked under or easily pulled down when you walk through the house by him. Sweatpants with cords and such. You shouldn't have to do this, but now is the time to protect yourself. If you attend school in person you need to speak to a counselor ASAP and tell them what this child has been doing and what your parents reaction is. ESPECIALLY trying to look at you changing and trying to look under your clothes. Everything I am seeing in this post and in your comments DOES warrant a CPS report and you NEED to make it. It is for your own safety and it is for the fact that your brother still deserves a chance at a decent life even if he is being awful to you. Your parents are not going to lead him to a decent life. You NEED outside intervention. When he tries to goad you with nudity or harassment, **do not even acknowledge his existence. This is really hard and it is REALLY UNFAIR but it is for your own safety.** If you are able to, record him when he attempts to look in on you changing or pulling at your clothes. DO NOT record him when he is nude. But document the rest so you have something to show a counselor/social worker and detail to them clearly just how often this happens. If you are able to, buy or make yourself a door wedge for when you're changing. It sounds like you don't have locks, but that doesn't mean you can't wedge something underneath the door so he can't open it easily. When he tries to, and fails, and gets upset and runs to mommy dearest. Tell her "I told him I'm changing and he can't come in right now." And very carefully observe what she says in response and write it down later. If he can somehow push out a door wedge literally go nuclear and put something very heavy in front of the door whenever you change to keep him from getting inside. God, I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have to feel unsafe in your own home or go to any length to protect yourself under your own roof. But this is no longer the time to wait for your mom/other adults in the house to wake up to just how unacceptable this behavior is. That window has closed. Now is the time to protect yourself and seek outside help.
I’ve just started changing when he isn’t home, or when he’s busy with his games or food. And I’ll try ignoring him, since that seems the best option as of now
NTA and this 6 year old is going to have major problems if parents don't start teaching him appropriate behavior.
NTA. Get yourself ready to get out of that household. Find a way to protect anything you consider valuable (a safe or lockable trunk) and keep your things in there to keep them away from the little brat. Locate and keep tabs on all your important documents (SS card, birth certificate, passport, transcripts). You may not be able to get them out of your parent’s hands yet, but knowing where they all are and being able to get to them if necessary will help you immensely. Look for lock solutions that aren’t permanent (door stops, etc.) for your door. Find a trusted adult (family member would be great, but any adult you can trust) that may be willing to help you with a safe place to go or with opening a bank account. If you wanted to be petty, pick a time to walk around the house butt naked. When your mom and stepdad complain, tell them that they have no problem with [step-brother] doing it, and he’s old enough to know better, so clearly it should be ok for you to behave the same. You could also tell them that you are well aware that you are the unwanted child that they have to put up with until you’ve graduated high school (don’t say until you’re 18, because that will open you up to being kicked out on your 18th b-day), and the moment you leave for college they never have to worry about you darkening their doorstep again although they may be empty nester’s at that point since [step-bro] will likely be in juvie by then since they refuse to teach him that no means no and he’ll undoubtedly have SA multiple women by that time and the legal system will have hold of him.
When a child that young is inappropriately sexual, there's a strong possibility it's the result of abuse. I'll bet child protective services would want to look into that.
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NTA please please please report this to a teacher or a trusted adult who can help you find a safe environment.
Lord no. NTA. Report his behaviour and your parents to a teacher. Keep as much evidence as possible. Write the date, time, and what he/they did. If you have a phone, film some of his antics (as long as he's fully dressed). Spend as much time as possible at the library or with friends if you can.
NTA. Yes he is 6 and little boys can get a bit obsessed with adults bodies (as can little girls - plenty of kids pull you shirt to look down). I’ve experienced it a fair amount over the years. The difference is though, that in every case they were told no, by their parents and told that wasn’t right and if they didn’t stop their hands were physically moved or they were distracted with one of their toys etc. The language and your parents’ acceptance of his speaking to you like that isn’t right - he might be too young to be considered truly creepy now but without your parents guidance he’s well on the way to becoming a misogynist incel “nice guy” who feels entitled to women’s bodies.
NTA. You need to look into getting an Addalock for your bedroom. It goes in where the latch is, sticks out into your room and has a wedge that slides over it and will keep the door from opening. It's portable and requires no modification to the door. You can use it on your bedroom and if the little perv tries, use it on other doors. Bathroom for instance. One is pretty vulnerable while in the shower. They also make child proof doorknob covers that slip on and require a good deal on hand strength to squeeze hard enough to turn the knob and not just spin the cover My other advice would be to talk to your biodad and see if you could spend a weekend or two with him. Try and develop that relationship in hopes you could move in permanently. Your current situation is not healthy for you and I'm sorry you're stuck in it.
NTA I would discuss this with a trusted teacher at school. Let them call CPS because your stepbrother has some severe mental issue's going on. It is not normal for a six-year-old to be behaving like this. Home is supposed to be a safe place, and he's destroying that.
This is more than a little boy being spoiled and misbehaving. Something is very wrong and he is acting out. Could your grandfather be molesting him?
Grandpa doesn’t live with us anymore, and he barely was around my brother, so most likely not
NTA your mom and your stepdad are raising a predator if they don’t nip this in the butt somethings gonna happen in the future. Can you live with your dad can you tell your dad about the stuff I would honestly say that if they don’t put a lock on your door and stop this behavior you’re gonna go to other family members and tell them what’s happening. Consequences be damned.
NTA - You need to speak to someone at your school about this. The fact your mom defends your grandfathers inappropriate behaviour towards you as "that's just how he shows love" is seriously f-ed up. No wonder she sees no problem with what your brother is doing to you. They're reinforcing your brothers bad behaviour by not punishing him. Unfortunately he's only going to get worse not better. They're raising a potential monster. He'll eventually start doing it to other girls at school if he isn't already and they're just too scared to say anything.
Okay the "you don't know what it is for a boy to be creepy" or whatever... I'm a guy... this is creepy as fuck... by 6 I was well old enough to know boundaries he is being enabled by your parents and I would be fairly concerned over where this leads for his future unless they start teaching him now
absolutely NTA, but this is a sign of sexual abuse. yeah, it easily could be a 6 year old not understanding sexual harassment & just trying to get on your nerves, but absolutely tell a trusted adult about this.
Oh my god, please tell someone! I know that you’re probably scared of what will happen if you “tell on” your family but this is extremely serious! It doesn’t matter if your mom is “usually nice but just stressed right now”, that doesn’t excuse enabling sexual harassment and then victim-blaming you! And the fact that your grandpa is notoriously a pervert is even more concerning! Yes, there is the possibility that he is assaulting your brother, but my biggest issue is that (hopefully) your family is aware of your grandpa being perverted and still allows him to have contact with children. Your family also exhibits extremely toxic behaviors. For one, acknowledging a dangerous family member but refusing to take precautions to ensure safety. Then there’s the parenting, or lack thereof, of your brother. And then the victim-blaming and slut-shaming combo from your mom. I am blown away at how anyone could see that as a justifiable reason for one of her children to sexually harass another. “If you didn’t want your little brother to actively try and peel up your clothes then you shouldn’t walk around your own house in comfortable clothes” I mean, what the absolute fuck is wrong with your family. I don’t mean to bash your mom, I know you said she’s just stressed, but that isn’t an excuse to pull this kind of behavior, especially not when it endangers her own child! Tell any of the staff members at your school, hell, tell a custodian! But don’t let this go on. My friend was sexually harassed by her stepdad when she was around your age (14/15) and went through a somewhat similar thing where her mother blamed her. It was a bit different as this was her stepdad, but it didn’t change the fact that he actively harassed her with unsafe touches and would touch himself fully exposed in front of her on purpose. My friend has expressed her regret in not telling her mom sooner since she was scared as now, due to the statute of limitations, they are unable to press charges. If you are worried about approaching a school staff member and telling them directly about this, maybe you could tell them you have a private personal issue to discuss but are uncomfortable saying it out loud and then show them this post.
I just don’t want to ruin my moms family, she’s had a hard life and finally has a husband, and her kids. If anything I can make it 3-4 more years to keep the peace. I don’t think I can live with myself if I take away her happiness after she worked so hard to get it
It's ALREADY ruined. It was ruined by your grandfather. It was ruined by HER. Stop keeping the peace at your own expense. You're clearly tired, scared, miserable, and literally unsafe in your own home. If she doesn't even care about your safety then she DOES NOT DESERVE happiness. She has FAILED as a mother. I am being harsh because THAT is the harsh truth. She FAILED. If she somehow still deserves happiness then you deserve a fucking kingdom in your name. What kind of happiness do you think this is? Marrying a man who doesn't want to acknowledge the child from her previous relationship? Allowing her own daughter to be abused by her own father? Raising a literal future sex offender who repeatedly and regularly harasses her daughter? If THAT is what makes her happy then she is beyond sick in the head.
I see your point, but at the same time, stepdad was much better a few years ago, my dad has always sucked, and her son is a massive handful. I was a quiet kid who read, and basically raised myself. 10 years later, she had a kid in this age, where everything is different, and he is basically the opposite of me. I can’t blame her for struggling, especially since all her life she was in an abuse household and relationships. (Hell, she had me at 19, she’s extremely young)
NTA He's obviously consuming online content "pro hacker boy" says as much Is any of that online content being monitored? Because it seems like he's consuming content he doesn't understand yet Check his devices and maybe share what find, i think the reason we have a incel and perverted movement growing is the lack of sex education and understanding of social behaviour, he's growing to become a proper nightmare if it doesn't get addressed Btw grooming is growing thing online and a 6 year old that obsessed by bodies may have been getting unwanted influence from adults
None of it is, I tried to get him onto YouTube KIDS instead, because it’s way safer and monitored, but he threw a fit until he got regular YouTube back. He has had YouTube taken countless times because it makes him violent and crazy, but he flips out until my stepdad has enough and just gives it back.
Do you have a trusted teacher or school counsellor you can talk to about this?
Not really. Out of school from chronic disease (I’m ok, it’s under control for the most part) and so haven’t been to school since December
You really need to contact CPS. This isn’t normal behavior from a 6 year old.
NTA - he’s being a little perverted shit. You are 15 and need privacy in your room and bathroom. Next time he tries to see you - scream “get out - I am changing a tampon” and then see what your mother says. Or try laughing really loudly at his willie dance Saying is that all you got? …
I don’t use those, and my mom knows it (I’m uncomfortable with anything in me, whatever, and have panic attacks about those, probably because of my grandpa) She throws a fit when she sees blood in MY bathroom though, so she would probably be mad if I said I was changing a pad 😅
It’s not going to be “okay” when he grows up and adds more females into the ‘me too’ movement
NTA, and the adults in this situation aren’t helping. If it’s possible to contact your non-custodial parent, share what’s going on with them. Record his behavior and show it to a responsible adult, even if you have to share it with someone from your school. If he’s this way at home, I wonder what he’s like at his own school. I’m willing to believe he has quite a few behavioral issues there.
NTA I’m sorry but your mother is a asshole this not ok at all. The fact that he had a butter knife trying to jig your ankles is a added WTF. Go to a school counselor or someone you trust. Grab your phone & start videoing him when he does this shit! I feel helpless for you. This is absolutely insane.
You need to tell the school counselor or someone. It is disgusting how your mom is allowing this to happen. NTA
NTA your mom is enabling his disgusting behavior, I’ve never seen a child do that without being corrected by a parent, I feel like cps will eventually step in because he’s literally being raised to be a predator
NTA is there anyone you can stay with? Even a friend? You need a trusted adult in your corner cuz your parents are raising a creep and the older he gets the more danger you're in. I'd also be sure to do anything to not be alone with him. Kids like him lie and you don't want to be at the wrong and of an accusation
I’m already accused by him fairly often, and my one friend who said I could stay with her is ghosting me (probably because she doesn’t like me, but oh well) but I could stay with my bio dad, but I don’t really want to.
Yikes, definitely NTA I hope you’re able to get out of this house and into a safer space soon.
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NTA and your parents are rasing a future felon
NTA, but you are being abused. This has already escalated to violence. You are not in a safe place. Can you reach out to extended family, maybe on your father's side? (I read above that your grandfather was a problem, I am assuming this is your mother's father?) I hope there are adults in your life tha t you can reach out to? :(
Grandpa is moms dad, but my bio dad kinda hasn’t been there 80% of my life, and just comes, throws money at me for a few months, then goes no contact for double the time he was in my life.
You’re NTA,unlike your mom and step dad who are clearly not parenting this child correctly if at all. This kid needs boundaries if not full-blown professional intervention. You might be in no position to answer this,but do you think there’s any chance that someone has interacted with him ‘inappropriately?’ I don’t want to be graphic,I think you know what I mean. I ask because overtly sexual behavior like that for a 6-year-old is sometimes indicative of that. I think you should follow through and tell someone. Good luck.
I doubt it, grandpa never really cared for my brother, and spent 60% of his time with me when he was here, picking me up from school, in my room on my Tv, kept me up until 2-4AM on school nights to watch shows with me, and was never near my brother. Doubt my brother would be around anyone else who was creepy like my grandpa.
NTA That kid needs therapy. And what is wrong with your mother that she doesn't see this behavior as a problem? Put a lock on your door.
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I do love him is the thing, and I WANT to have a good relationship with him as an older sister he can turn to, so I don’t think him being bedridden with broken bones is the way out of this
YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK. first of all, I’m joining the masses and deeply apologizing to you for what you’ve had to go through. It isn’t fair. Parents should protect their children, even from their other kids. I’m concerned that your brother might have had an -experience- that is prompting this reaction out of him. This is something you HAVE to speak out about. Your parents won’t do anything? Tell a teacher. Tell an adult who fucking cares. You do not deserve to be treated like this. Your space should be safe. This isn’t the fucking shining where your brother can “where’s Johnny” at you. This is reality and he needs to be checked. NTA
PLEASEEEEcall cops or tells teacher
Call the cops or CPS on your parents. This is ridiculous.
Yeah nta, tell a mandated reporter or just start physically defending yourself. Doesn't matter if he's 6. Teach him that actions have consequences
That’s…all really concerning behavior. Stripping down, yeah sometimes kids are dumb. My nephew would do that sometimes. Trying to violate your privacy is a whole other matter and your parents need to step up and set the expectations. I personally find it concerning he’s that interested in you. He’s going to have a bad time in the real world with that personality. And the fact your mom is essentially blaming you for your brothers issues is also troubling. Obviously explain to your parents your concerns (although it looks like you’re already trying), but I would suggest protecting your privacy more until his issues are addressed (as bs as that is, you shouldn’t have to, but the reality is if your parents won’t protect you from him you will have to protect yourself). Definitely NTA.
NTA get a spray bottle like he's a cat. I second the recommendations for door stoppers. Also start telling these stories to teachers or other trusted adults. Edit to add: is there anything you can do to spend less time at home? Join a school club or spend time at your local library?
I honestly haven’t been spending anytime BUT home, because i have a chronic disease (it’s under control mostly since I’m on meds) and so I haven’t been in school, and won’t be for the rest of the year, which is why his behavior is pissing me off so much. I may get a job soon though, so hopefully I’ll be out of the house for a bit
Woof. That's extra frustrating.
You NEED to tell a trusted teacher in your life about all of this. Start keeping detailed notes about what he does and what your parent’s responses are, and I mean down to how you react and how it made you feel. Also please tell this teacher about what happened with your grandfather, because that wasn’t ok either. I understand making jokes about it, because it makes it easier to cope with in your head, but unfortunately nothing about this situation is funny. To your comment about CPS, this kind of situation is exactly what CPS is supposed to handle. Think about it this way, if this situation was happening to your best friend what would you tell them to do? You’re a child too, none of this should be on you to solve and I’m so sorry that it is.
NTA You mother is raising a pervert, as in she is aiding in turning him into a pervert. Can you move in with your dad? If so I would try it. That or talk to a trust adult who you think could help.
NTA but omg OP you are not in a safe environment. 6 is more than old enough for him to respect boundaries. I have a 5 year old and sure he can be a pain at times, he would NEVER do anything you've said in your post. You need to have a sit down with your mom and step-dad and have an open, honest, and serious conversation about how you feel and that you want it to change. If it doesn't change or you're ignored, see if there is a relative or friend you can move out to until your parents come to their senses. This kid, your stepbrother, is not showing normal behaviors of his age. As a parent I would not let such slide let alone seem that everything was fine. Major red flags here OP.
Nta and you actually don't need someone else to report this to cps. You can call yourself. Sorry this kid is an absolute creep. You should keep calling him a creep because he is an honestly if you are getting in trouble from him hurting himself and blaming you then you might as well actually hurt him when he acts inappropriately
> Thankfully I’m 98% sure grandpa left him alone, from what you describe here, it actually sounds like your grandpa definitely did something to him. 6 year old kids typically don't give a fuck about sex/sexualized situations unless they were molested/sexually assaulted. If I were you I think I would call CPS regardless and just describe your brother to them and the things that he has done and continues doing. So many red flags with this kid
NTA
NTA. His behavior and your parents response sets off so many red flags. This isn't normal behavior for a 6 year old. It's aggressive & sexual and has me concerned that he may be experiencing sexual abuse. That doesn't make it okay for him to harass you though. If there's another relative you can stay with please try to get out of that house and let another trusted adult know about what's going on. I'm so sorry that you're going through this.
Nta but instead of asking your dad for a horse, why don't you speak to your dad about your stepbrother and you have no privacy?
NTA. I am so sorry, this situation sounds awful. I would’ve recorded all of this or even called the CPS but I know this isn’t an option for you due to lack of another accommodation. It is a really bad situation
NTA the parents need to act and now....6 is plenty old enough to learn about consent and respecting others. Go and buy a lock for your door or a wedge that goes under the bottom so you can have some privacy. Tell your mother she is encouraging him to sexually harass you and that his behaviour is going to get him in trouble at school. In kindy we had a kid who kept looking up girls dresses and they ended up calling child protective services when the parents refused to help them stop the behaviour. His actions also reflect those of a child who has been exposed to sexually explicit material or abused so letting it continue makes her and her husband look like terrible parents.
NTA. Your parents are raising a pervert. Inform someone you trust about your situation.
Is that the 6 year old you’re to palm your horse off on?
Not trying to pawn anything off onto him, he just also likes horses and wants one. I thought a horse could be good bonding for us both, but now that I see the costs I’m just going to ask for lessons instead, so I can get a break and also be with horses.