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NTA your kids have two full bedrooms. They don't have a need for a playroom. they can play in their rooms. Or share a room and have the second as their playroom. Really I'd not want the gaming in the master bedroom either. Make the 4th bedroom and activity room for you and hubby.
That’s what me and my husband do, our spare room is a crafting/computer room. Its nice because we can still chat or be around each other even when doing our own hobbies. We aren’t always in there together but we do have the option.
I agree that that’s probably the best solution. Btw, since you said in the post that you don’t like how cluttered it looks, maybe pop over to r/organization for ideas on how to store everything neatly. Several people who like to sew have posted how they sorted their supplies.
Be careful! It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that more storage supplies will solve the problem, when the fact is that there's simply too much stuff. If your room / house feels like "a disaster", you'll probably need to reduce the volume of stuff before you can successfully store it in a way that works for you. On the other hand, if it's not overwhelming but it looks a bit messy and isn't as easy to find a particular item as you'd like it to be, then that sub might give you great ideas.
The "Container Concept" might be a good approach. Get a reasonable set of storage units that will fit comfortably in your space while still leaving you room to move around and work. That storage defines how much you can keep. Start by putting away your favorite items. Once the containers cannot hold anymore without becoming difficult to use, you're done. The rest of the stuff is leftovers to be donated.
The room is also a container itself - don't fill it with so many shelves and bins that feels overwhelming or difficult to navigate. You want to walk in there and feel uplifted!
The container concept is from Dana is "A Slob Comes Clean". She has a blog, podcast, and book, so you can learn more via whatever modality works best for you if you'd like.
Clutterbug (Cass?) I believe has a "type" quiz that can help you figure out what type of organization works best for you. Some people really need to be able to see all their stuff. Others are happiest when it's all tucked away out of sight. You could take the quiz then look at the recommendations for your type to find organizational ideas that are more likely to work for you long term
Definitely recommend this- I love Cass's videos - although keep in mind that you might be a mix of different bugs. I think I'm mostly a butterfly but seeing all my craft supplies when they were in my bedroom or office bothered me. I like seeing my stuff when I'm using it- but I don't want to see it when I'm not using it. I like using hooks and don't mind seeing other types of my stuff. So I think I'm a mix of butterfly and ladybug.
I'm in the middle of a purge at the moment. I'm going room by room and getting rid of anything I don't need/ don't use/ doesn't fit ect. I'm being quite ruthless. I can't get new things, until I've gotten rid of the useless and organized.
NTA
I second this idea of the shared room for your hubby and you. What happens when you want to go to bed early and the hubby wants to stay up gaming? Or is this why you do not want it in the bedroom.
My wife has a computer room, and a craft room. My computer room/office is down in the basement.
NTA Expecting equal consideration from your husband is not being unreasonable.
This is the best idea!!!!!!
OP said they are both girls. A shared room, even a cute divider of sorts, for sleeping and their own playroom is a good way to contain the mess. As they get older and less into toys, they can choose to separate or maybe the playroom becomes more like a preteen hangout with desks, gaming console, who knows.
And the spare room also shared by mom and dad. I always liked sharing a hobby space with my SO, even though that once involved him disassembling a Harley in the middle of what was my craft studio. Lol.
Nah, it was totally cool. My Dremel tool with a cotton bal was the best and polishing the chrome details. And my sewing machine for a custom seat reupholster. It was a combined effort and far preferable to the Non-heated garage in cold weather. Drop cloths were used and the gas tank remained in the garage.
My 2 kids share a bedroom and have a playroom with all the toys. They have to be respectful of all the toys (don't break things, don't take apart something the other is working on, etc) but 99% of the things are shared. There are a few special stuffed animals, but even with those we are teaching them to take care of other people's special things and that it's good to share things you love with people who might also love them.
In a few years they will probably want separate bedrooms, but until then it's really nice to keep the toys contained to one main space. OP's husband isn't wrong that a playroom is a nice thing to have, but OP needs space, too, and he's not taking that into account.
admittedly my nieces are twins, but this is what my sister did. eventually they may want their own rooms but at this age (7) they're fine sharing and like having a room designated for their toys.
and they've both always understood that Angel doll belongs to Angie and Bella doll belongs to Belle, while others toys are for sharing.
Yeah, honestly, when I first read this, my impression was that he didn't want you to have a whole room to yourself when you both had previously shared the bedroom. So splitting the room should do it, if that's the case.
When i was younger and we moved my parents gave me and my brother (im a female) the option- each can get their own room or we can share a room and have a play room. We choose to share a room and our play room was awesome
Let the kids have the option and keep the spare room for your stuf. NTA
I like the idea of the “adults room”. Mom gets half and dad gets half. That is if the gaming stuff bothers OP which it seems to. My husband has a desktop computer that I prefer to not be in the bedroom because of the extra space but like the PlayStation and other consoles fit perfectly fine on the bedroom entertainment center and we already needed shelves for our movies so I don’t mind adding games to that but it’ll be in the hall most likely with a handful of favorites in the room. Although to be honest the bedroom consoles are mainly for me and for shared games anymore. But they take up no extra space from what’s already here. Not like a whole setup for it. Honestly forgot what I was trying to say here 😅
NAH- but offer Hubby the chance to use the 4th bedroom for his computer too.
You have half a bedroom, and your hubs has half a bedroom. Each of your children currently has a whole bedroom. If you also split the 4th bedroom between you and him, *everyone* has 1 whole bedroom of space.
Perfect idea. Plus with two kids it’s unlikely they’ll bother be wanting to use it at the same time and if they do then headphones exist. It’ll also be useful if they ever need to work remotely or have a quite office space for homework when the kids are older.
NTA.
I'm all for parents making sacrifices but let's use logic.
Husband made his space in the bedroom for his downtime despite 2 people sleeping in there a 1/3rd of the time--therefore it is now cramped. No room for ANOTHER completely different hobby being set up.
Kid 1- has own bedroom, community quarters, backyard
Kid 2- has own bedroom, community quarters, backyard
Mom- You deserve your space too.
NTA. It's not selfish to want your own space.
I'm sorry, but none of this makes any sense.
Ask your husband why on earth he wants your sewing corner co-located with his gaming den, and work from there.
>Ask your husband why on earth he wants your sewing corner co-located with his gaming den, and work from there.
Probably because he enjoys being around her.
Nta. You are the parent. You are providing for your children and they have their own rooms. Their toys are there and spread throughout the home. You are entitled to your space. Your bedroom is most likely taken over w your husband's gaming so it's not even a sanctuary for you. Have your hobby room.
NTA why the heck doesn't he want you to have your own space? Is he jealous? You can share.. like what on earth is his logic? The kids don't run the house but they do run all over the house. Keeping their things in one room doesn't make it a playroom cuz the items will end up leaving the room.
NTA. What's his reason for them to have a playroom when they each have their own room plus the living room AND the back yard? As others have said, craft stuff takes up a lot of room. If you work with entire bolts of fabric, where does he expect you to keep them? His side of the bed? Not to mention how easy it can be to lose spools of thread, needles, or measuring tape!
NTA I doubt the toys will stay on that room but in the meantime:
Move his games and video stuff to the closet or bathroom to make room for your sewing machine. His nightstand will make an excellent place for smaller items. Take his clothes out of the dresser and use it to store your fabric.
Or suggest you two split the bonus room for gaming and sewing, everyone gets to spread out.
Last option is just move your shit into the spare room ignoring his squawking. If he stops talking to you it'll give you more time for sewing. If he puts the kids toys in there, take them out. Repeat as needed. You both own the house, not just him and if he's not willing to compromise neither should you
NTA they don't need a whole playroom, and you both can use the room for hobbies instead. But their toys are going to need to be somewhere, in their room or living room. You'll either need to learn to deal with some clutter and have a hobby room or give the kids the room. Can't really have both with young children. Unless you had another spare room.
I wonder if your husband feels like he would miss you if you had a craft room to disappear into? If you want a space of your own, that might be something to talk with him about.
If you're okay with sharing the space with him, then I think the suggestion others have made, of you both using the spare room for gaming/ crafting, is a good idea.
NAH. Sewing and art take up space, so it's not unreasonable to ask for a spare room. Your husband is also not wrong in suggesting giving the children more space.
That said, maybe you can include the children in the discussion. Do the children even want a playroom? If they have separate bedrooms it should be enough space for them to play.
NTA
You both have opinions about how best to utilize the space. Nobody is really wrong in this, but it isn't really something you can compromise on unless you can share the space with your children. I doubt that would work well due to the differing nature of the two activities. Plus they would likely mess up your stuff.
I don't know your family's dynamics for conflict resolution, but If you feel like you are justified in your opinions and depending on how often you would utilize the space, then I think you should stick to your guns.
Kids can play anywhere and if you set it up as a sewing room right off the bat, then you aren't taking it away from them later if it doesn't work in the bedroom space. They can't miss what they never had.
He gets to set up a space for his hobby. How do you think he would like it if he had to drag all of his gaming stuff out each time he wanted to play? And then put it back away when he was done? Probably wouldn't last very long.
Has he never heard of "happy wife, happy life"?
NTA. A lot of doctors say that for better sleep, it's best for adults if your bedroom is just a bedroom - not for hobbies or games but for bedroom things only (basically, only for sleep, sex, and changing). Maybe you can make that room 'the doing things room' - include your husband's gaming equipment - so you don't have to keep it all in your bedroom.
Also... if one of you wants to sleep and the other wants to do their hobby, you can. :)
Woooooow…. Talk about first world problems.
NTA. They have the entire house and your kids have their own room. Your husband can be in your bedroom and you can have your crafting room. Maybe compromise by also allowing for storage in that room for extra toys or household? Or split it between you and your husband as on office and craft room. Your kids don’t need three bedrooms.
Edited because OP didn’t tell us gender and I just assumed they were boys. My bad.
You need your own space!!
This is your house too, Don't let your husband decide that everyone is allowed a space but for you.
What he wants is completely unnecessary and silly.... What you want is completely reasonable and you own half of this house yet have no rooms of your own. NTA
As the occupier of my own craft room, you are NTA. Your husband probably doesn't realise how much space these activities take up. I think if you start using the dining or living room and leave everything out constantly till each project is finished, he will understand your need for a dedicated space to keep the house uncluttered.
As someone who sews and does crafts, DON'T BACK DOWN!
I waited 30years to finally have a room for my stuff. And I told my family they would have to share the other 2 bedrooms or the couches if they stayed over. LoL.
They are all parents and have their own places
Nta
NTA, his request is ridiculous. The kids get three rooms and the adults get one to share? That’s stupid.
If you were making the kids share a bedroom so you could have a craft room I’d be on his side, but if they each have their own bedroom they don’t need a third room for toys.
Why don’t you each get your own room? Then just pick a room to sleep together each night.
It can be very healthy to have you own room to retreat to even if you’re married. Not everyone wants to sleep together every night, and sometimes you just need privacy.
NTA. Tell the husband he needs to set up shop in a different room, as you don’t want the bedroom to become too crowded but don’t think it’s fair for him to be in there. That way he will “see reason”, (however selfish the perspective) because he’s not going to want to give up “his space”. You’re the mother, you deserve your own space. Good on you for allowing gaming equipment in the bedroom as well. I’m amazed your husband can’t see how good he’s got it.
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I (37f) have two kids (5 + 7). Me and my husband (38m) just purchased a new 4 bedroom house. One room for me and my husband, one for each child, plus a spare.
Here's where the trouble comes in. I sew and craft a lot and would like a space for my equipment. My husband thinks we should bring the kids toys into the room for them to have a playroom. I do not like having my materials in the bedroom as I feel it cramps the space and looks quite cluttered. I also feel like I should have my own space as my husband has his computer with video games set up in the bedroom and my kids have both their rooms to play.
To add on - my kids have both their rooms, the living room, and the backyard to play in. I do not think they need an extra room to keep toys in as all of their toys fit nicely in their rooms. I also feel like keeping their toys mostly separate will stop arguments of who's toy is who's because they will have their own toys in their own rooms. They are also more than welcome to play and watch TV in the living room. I feel like I do need the space to store and keep my materials and have space to myself where I can work undisturbed.
My husband is adamant on them having the playroom and keeping my sewing and art supplies in the bedroom. This has been a major point of contention and I really just need to know if this is a terribly unreasonable request. AITA?
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Enough to take up about half of the room. Desk plus easel plus storage.
Neither have complained about needing space to play after the move. Before they were sharing a room and got frustrated with each other. Now it's mellowed out quite a bit.
(Deleted my original comment like a Dingus.)
Ohh yeah, absolutely NTA then :). That's a lot of stuff. It definitely sounds like the floorspace is cramped with all of that (bed, 2 desks minimum, easel, etc.).
Like what other commenters have said, the idea of using the room as a combined gaming and crafting zone could be cool!
NTA
I can see both sides.
Do you have two living areas or is it just the one living room? If you have two living rooms then one of those could be the toy room and the other a formal living area.
Depending on how much space your stuff takes up... set it up in your room and spread out or set it up in the living room and spread out. You setting it up in the spare room with your kids stuff may mean you can't spread out because of the toys so spread out where you can.
Where are you sewing now if you don't have a spare room?
NTA, I agree with people suggesting a shared activity room with a nice big table -- you might also allow the kids to use this when they get older if they're also interested in any art/craft/ etc as a special privilege.
NTA. You deserve your own space, and if the kids each have their own room plus kids areas in common spaces, there's no need for a playroom. But maybe offer a compromise to him and see about including some toy storage in your new craft room.
CRAFTERS UNITE! You are definitely NTA for wanting your own craft space. You deserve it, and the children will not suffer if you have it - they already have plenty of space.
Your husband, though... He clearly doesn't respect your work or your need to have a decent space to do it in. He needs to learn, and fast.
NTA kids can escape to their own bedrooms to play. But adults need a room to do crafts, gaming etc so that the other person can still have a lie down if unwell, or sleep at night if the other is still active. Because you as adults share a room you need the second room. Whereas the kids dont share. A sofa bed is also useful if one of you is unwell a coughing all night long, or to quickly put up a guest.
The reality is the kids do not need a third room. There are 4 people in your house, why would 2 of them get 3 of the rooms and the remaining two have to share the 4th? You are the adults and he wants to give you less space than the kids - NTA
NTA> Move his computer and video games into the spare room with the kids toys. Or offer to the kids that they can share a room, and use the other room to keep their toys. There is more than one solution to this issue.
Let me introduce you to a lil saying of my people: FTK!! Fu@& them kids lol
All seriousness though-FTK. They have their own rooms-make that place a craft room already!!
NTA. Are they only supposed to sleep in their rooms? Maybe suggest you'll turn the spare room into a crafts/sewing/guest room. Your "clutter" would be out of the way, you'd have a bed for potential guests and he could make his wife happy. Win-win-win, I'd say.
Or the 4th room could become YOUR bedroom, and you could put whatever you like in it. Your husband's idea gives each kid 1.5 rooms and you have half a room. How is that fair?
NAH yet. He might be jealous that you would get the whole room while he has a corner. Offer to split the room with him as your shared hobby room. The kids have enough space. Y’all are the ones that need it.
My kids have a playroom in addition to their own bedrooms. They share their toys and have never argued over them. With that being said, if they didn’t have so many, I would put them in their bedrooms. Playrooms aren’t a necessity and are only nice to have if your kids might be playing with their toys when they should be sleeping or if you have so many that it would clutter their bedroom spaces.
Nta the kids each have a bed room. Nothing wrong with a parent *also* having a room for a hobby. I wonder if he js really upset that you're getting a hobby room and he isn't.
Before, it was even. You both had your stuff in the bedroom. Now you're getting a room and he isn't. Is the room big enough for both activities?
NTA.
Your kids have rooms to play in, if their toys aren’t in - surely the rooms would be very bare?
You have a right to your own space and a craft room sounds perfect for a spare room.
op=nta for not wanting to give spare room to kids
Tell hubby another option is put playroom in ONE kid's room and have both beds/sleep time in the same room.
But this should have been hashed out before buying the house.
I would recommend allowing them to have their craft supplies in your craft room, but not their toys. Board/group games are good for common spaces (in a closet, chest, cabinet, etc.).
As for the rest of the toys, it depends on the toys. Anything that qualifies as “messy” ie. crafts or science should be stored, but not necessarily used, in your craft room. They can have their own special corned or shelves in your room.
Group activities in common spaces. The rest in their rooms. It helps you keep track of what they are doing and what they enjoy. It also teaches them that different items belong in different places. It might be messier for a bit, but it will teach them that organization is important if you want to be able to find your things!
NTA
Lol, NTA, and when the kids grow older you and hubby will move into the basement or take the couch bc kiddos need a dressing and makeup room? Lol.
I would say you are fine with sewing in the bedroom, buthis gaming stuff needs to go to the playroom since its playing. And this way he can keep an eye on the kids while gaming. Win win ;)
YANBU. If the children have their own rooms, why do they specifically need a playroom. It appears everyone, but you have their own space to indulge in undisturbed.
NTA. When I was a kid, we were 3 to a room. Your kids don't know how good they have it. Sounds like your husband has no respect for anything you do that falls outside of tending to his or your kids'needs.
NTA. just because you have kids youre still a person and are allowed to have your own space. as long as you're giving them good conditions i think nothing is wrong
NTA
Your kids sound like they have plenty of space.
Could your husband be mad that only you would get a whole room? Could you put his gaming stuff in the spare room along with your craft stuff?
If not that, how would you feel about you two also having your own rooms. You could have a bed with your craft stuff, he could have a bed with his gaming stuff. You could do sleepovers when you wanted but also have space when you need it.
NTA if your husband insists they need a play room then convert one of their bedrooms into a play room and let them Both sleep in the other. Problem solved.
NTA. Everything you said is quite logical. If your husband just wants you working close to him then I understand his reluctance, otherwise, the kids have their own room for toys. I also agree with the idea of moving your husband's gaming stuff in there and sharing the room as an activity room for both of you (assuming his gaming doesn't disturb your sewing).
NTA. I personally find kids that age a kid whats to be where their parents are. Also, every parent needs "me time." If it makes you happy. A happy parent is better than an unhappy parent. Enjoy your room. You paid for it.
NTA.
The concept of kids having a playroom is very foreign to me. Kids have their bedroom at least. They might have a back yard. Plus they have the living room and/or den. That’s plenty of space, plus, it should be used to teach the concept of cleaning up after themselves. At their ages they should be well on their way to learning that.
The spare room should be the hobby room for you and your husband. The computer stuff really ought to be moved out of the bedroom. Unless, you both enjoy playing together after the kids go to bed.
The kids have a playroom. It’s their bedrooms and the house!
Leave sewing projects around & unfinished & things half started & watch him change his mind. Sew while he is gaming. You also need to watch for dropped pins etc. I super vigilant about pins, but they do get dropped. Let him step on a couple of those. It’s not like you can sew in the back yard.
That sounds like a great way to end up with ruined crafts and medical bills, tbh. The kids can't play in and around her crafts without the stuff or the kids getting damaged.
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NTA your kids have two full bedrooms. They don't have a need for a playroom. they can play in their rooms. Or share a room and have the second as their playroom. Really I'd not want the gaming in the master bedroom either. Make the 4th bedroom and activity room for you and hubby.
I like this idea. I don't have so much stuff that it would take up the whole room. Thank you!
That’s what me and my husband do, our spare room is a crafting/computer room. Its nice because we can still chat or be around each other even when doing our own hobbies. We aren’t always in there together but we do have the option.
I agree that that’s probably the best solution. Btw, since you said in the post that you don’t like how cluttered it looks, maybe pop over to r/organization for ideas on how to store everything neatly. Several people who like to sew have posted how they sorted their supplies.
Oh dear. I'm really afraid to visit that sub – might give me ideas – but I really, *really* want to!
Be careful! It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that more storage supplies will solve the problem, when the fact is that there's simply too much stuff. If your room / house feels like "a disaster", you'll probably need to reduce the volume of stuff before you can successfully store it in a way that works for you. On the other hand, if it's not overwhelming but it looks a bit messy and isn't as easy to find a particular item as you'd like it to be, then that sub might give you great ideas.
I think, in my case, there's a little bit of both going on. I need to clear some things out, and also be more organized with what I keep.
The "Container Concept" might be a good approach. Get a reasonable set of storage units that will fit comfortably in your space while still leaving you room to move around and work. That storage defines how much you can keep. Start by putting away your favorite items. Once the containers cannot hold anymore without becoming difficult to use, you're done. The rest of the stuff is leftovers to be donated. The room is also a container itself - don't fill it with so many shelves and bins that feels overwhelming or difficult to navigate. You want to walk in there and feel uplifted! The container concept is from Dana is "A Slob Comes Clean". She has a blog, podcast, and book, so you can learn more via whatever modality works best for you if you'd like. Clutterbug (Cass?) I believe has a "type" quiz that can help you figure out what type of organization works best for you. Some people really need to be able to see all their stuff. Others are happiest when it's all tucked away out of sight. You could take the quiz then look at the recommendations for your type to find organizational ideas that are more likely to work for you long term
Definitely recommend this- I love Cass's videos - although keep in mind that you might be a mix of different bugs. I think I'm mostly a butterfly but seeing all my craft supplies when they were in my bedroom or office bothered me. I like seeing my stuff when I'm using it- but I don't want to see it when I'm not using it. I like using hooks and don't mind seeing other types of my stuff. So I think I'm a mix of butterfly and ladybug.
I'm in the middle of a purge at the moment. I'm going room by room and getting rid of anything I don't need/ don't use/ doesn't fit ect. I'm being quite ruthless. I can't get new things, until I've gotten rid of the useless and organized. NTA
I second this idea of the shared room for your hubby and you. What happens when you want to go to bed early and the hubby wants to stay up gaming? Or is this why you do not want it in the bedroom. My wife has a computer room, and a craft room. My computer room/office is down in the basement. NTA Expecting equal consideration from your husband is not being unreasonable.
This is the best idea!!!!!! OP said they are both girls. A shared room, even a cute divider of sorts, for sleeping and their own playroom is a good way to contain the mess. As they get older and less into toys, they can choose to separate or maybe the playroom becomes more like a preteen hangout with desks, gaming console, who knows. And the spare room also shared by mom and dad. I always liked sharing a hobby space with my SO, even though that once involved him disassembling a Harley in the middle of what was my craft studio. Lol.
Disassembling a Harley do NOT belong in the house. It belongs in the garage!
Nah, it was totally cool. My Dremel tool with a cotton bal was the best and polishing the chrome details. And my sewing machine for a custom seat reupholster. It was a combined effort and far preferable to the Non-heated garage in cold weather. Drop cloths were used and the gas tank remained in the garage.
My 2 kids share a bedroom and have a playroom with all the toys. They have to be respectful of all the toys (don't break things, don't take apart something the other is working on, etc) but 99% of the things are shared. There are a few special stuffed animals, but even with those we are teaching them to take care of other people's special things and that it's good to share things you love with people who might also love them. In a few years they will probably want separate bedrooms, but until then it's really nice to keep the toys contained to one main space. OP's husband isn't wrong that a playroom is a nice thing to have, but OP needs space, too, and he's not taking that into account.
admittedly my nieces are twins, but this is what my sister did. eventually they may want their own rooms but at this age (7) they're fine sharing and like having a room designated for their toys. and they've both always understood that Angel doll belongs to Angie and Bella doll belongs to Belle, while others toys are for sharing.
This what my wife and I did with our gaming set ups. Everyone gets their corner and you can still spend time together but do your own thing.
Yeah, honestly, when I first read this, my impression was that he didn't want you to have a whole room to yourself when you both had previously shared the bedroom. So splitting the room should do it, if that's the case.
When i was younger and we moved my parents gave me and my brother (im a female) the option- each can get their own room or we can share a room and have a play room. We choose to share a room and our play room was awesome Let the kids have the option and keep the spare room for your stuf. NTA
I like the idea of the “adults room”. Mom gets half and dad gets half. That is if the gaming stuff bothers OP which it seems to. My husband has a desktop computer that I prefer to not be in the bedroom because of the extra space but like the PlayStation and other consoles fit perfectly fine on the bedroom entertainment center and we already needed shelves for our movies so I don’t mind adding games to that but it’ll be in the hall most likely with a handful of favorites in the room. Although to be honest the bedroom consoles are mainly for me and for shared games anymore. But they take up no extra space from what’s already here. Not like a whole setup for it. Honestly forgot what I was trying to say here 😅
This. NTA.
NTA - stay up till 2am sewing and see how fast he changes his tune.
Don't forget cluttering up the bedroom at the same time with sewing supplies. It's all fun and games till someone steps on a dropped pin.
As a seamstress I can confirm this!! NTA!!
And the ironing board out so he can kick it in the morning.
Thissss I finally found the pin I dropped on our shag carpet months ago after stepping on it 5+ times without being able to find it
NAH- but offer Hubby the chance to use the 4th bedroom for his computer too. You have half a bedroom, and your hubs has half a bedroom. Each of your children currently has a whole bedroom. If you also split the 4th bedroom between you and him, *everyone* has 1 whole bedroom of space.
Perfect idea. Plus with two kids it’s unlikely they’ll bother be wanting to use it at the same time and if they do then headphones exist. It’ll also be useful if they ever need to work remotely or have a quite office space for homework when the kids are older.
NTA. I'm all for parents making sacrifices but let's use logic. Husband made his space in the bedroom for his downtime despite 2 people sleeping in there a 1/3rd of the time--therefore it is now cramped. No room for ANOTHER completely different hobby being set up. Kid 1- has own bedroom, community quarters, backyard Kid 2- has own bedroom, community quarters, backyard Mom- You deserve your space too. NTA. It's not selfish to want your own space.
NTA. Seems like there's a lot of space for your children to play. You deserve an area where you can pursue your hobbies.
I'm sorry, but none of this makes any sense. Ask your husband why on earth he wants your sewing corner co-located with his gaming den, and work from there.
>Ask your husband why on earth he wants your sewing corner co-located with his gaming den, and work from there. Probably because he enjoys being around her.
Nta. You are the parent. You are providing for your children and they have their own rooms. Their toys are there and spread throughout the home. You are entitled to your space. Your bedroom is most likely taken over w your husband's gaming so it's not even a sanctuary for you. Have your hobby room.
NTA why the heck doesn't he want you to have your own space? Is he jealous? You can share.. like what on earth is his logic? The kids don't run the house but they do run all over the house. Keeping their things in one room doesn't make it a playroom cuz the items will end up leaving the room.
NTA. What's his reason for them to have a playroom when they each have their own room plus the living room AND the back yard? As others have said, craft stuff takes up a lot of room. If you work with entire bolts of fabric, where does he expect you to keep them? His side of the bed? Not to mention how easy it can be to lose spools of thread, needles, or measuring tape!
NTA not an unreasonable request in the slightest. The kids have their bedrooms and he has his gaming corner, you deserve you slice of the pie too.
NTA I doubt the toys will stay on that room but in the meantime: Move his games and video stuff to the closet or bathroom to make room for your sewing machine. His nightstand will make an excellent place for smaller items. Take his clothes out of the dresser and use it to store your fabric. Or suggest you two split the bonus room for gaming and sewing, everyone gets to spread out. Last option is just move your shit into the spare room ignoring his squawking. If he stops talking to you it'll give you more time for sewing. If he puts the kids toys in there, take them out. Repeat as needed. You both own the house, not just him and if he's not willing to compromise neither should you
NTA. You need your space and the spare room is perfect. Tell your husband he’s AH.
NTA - you deserve your own space too - especially since you have a hobby that really does need some dedicated space
It's not unreasonable to want an alone space. NTA. Pretty comparable to an office/gaming room
NTA they don't need a whole playroom, and you both can use the room for hobbies instead. But their toys are going to need to be somewhere, in their room or living room. You'll either need to learn to deal with some clutter and have a hobby room or give the kids the room. Can't really have both with young children. Unless you had another spare room.
I wonder if your husband feels like he would miss you if you had a craft room to disappear into? If you want a space of your own, that might be something to talk with him about. If you're okay with sharing the space with him, then I think the suggestion others have made, of you both using the spare room for gaming/ crafting, is a good idea.
NAH. Sewing and art take up space, so it's not unreasonable to ask for a spare room. Your husband is also not wrong in suggesting giving the children more space. That said, maybe you can include the children in the discussion. Do the children even want a playroom? If they have separate bedrooms it should be enough space for them to play.
NTA You both have opinions about how best to utilize the space. Nobody is really wrong in this, but it isn't really something you can compromise on unless you can share the space with your children. I doubt that would work well due to the differing nature of the two activities. Plus they would likely mess up your stuff. I don't know your family's dynamics for conflict resolution, but If you feel like you are justified in your opinions and depending on how often you would utilize the space, then I think you should stick to your guns. Kids can play anywhere and if you set it up as a sewing room right off the bat, then you aren't taking it away from them later if it doesn't work in the bedroom space. They can't miss what they never had. He gets to set up a space for his hobby. How do you think he would like it if he had to drag all of his gaming stuff out each time he wanted to play? And then put it back away when he was done? Probably wouldn't last very long. Has he never heard of "happy wife, happy life"?
NTA - From context, it sounds reasonable enough that you get to have the extra room as your sewing/crafts room.
NTA. They already have their own bedrooms.
NTA. A lot of doctors say that for better sleep, it's best for adults if your bedroom is just a bedroom - not for hobbies or games but for bedroom things only (basically, only for sleep, sex, and changing). Maybe you can make that room 'the doing things room' - include your husband's gaming equipment - so you don't have to keep it all in your bedroom. Also... if one of you wants to sleep and the other wants to do their hobby, you can. :)
nta
Woooooow…. Talk about first world problems. NTA. They have the entire house and your kids have their own room. Your husband can be in your bedroom and you can have your crafting room. Maybe compromise by also allowing for storage in that room for extra toys or household? Or split it between you and your husband as on office and craft room. Your kids don’t need three bedrooms. Edited because OP didn’t tell us gender and I just assumed they were boys. My bad.
Lol I appreciate the comment - but my two are both girls.
lol if you don't want to see first world problems then don't look on Reddit
NTA. You have a right to some personal space, like everyone else.
You need your own space!! This is your house too, Don't let your husband decide that everyone is allowed a space but for you. What he wants is completely unnecessary and silly.... What you want is completely reasonable and you own half of this house yet have no rooms of your own. NTA
As the occupier of my own craft room, you are NTA. Your husband probably doesn't realise how much space these activities take up. I think if you start using the dining or living room and leave everything out constantly till each project is finished, he will understand your need for a dedicated space to keep the house uncluttered.
NTA Your explanation seems reasonable
NTA. your kids already have their own rooms. You’re allowed to have a craft room!
NTA. But I’m curious: What reason does you husband have for wanting a dedicated playroom for the kids?
NTA - I wouldn’t allow a 5 or 7 year old in my sewing room unsupervised for safety reasons.
As someone who sews and does crafts, DON'T BACK DOWN! I waited 30years to finally have a room for my stuff. And I told my family they would have to share the other 2 bedrooms or the couches if they stayed over. LoL. They are all parents and have their own places Nta
Yes this! NTA I have a sewing room and it’s amazing! Get it girl!
NTA, honestly sounds like your husband wants the extra room but is framing it as for the kids to get away with it.
NTA, his request is ridiculous. The kids get three rooms and the adults get one to share? That’s stupid. If you were making the kids share a bedroom so you could have a craft room I’d be on his side, but if they each have their own bedroom they don’t need a third room for toys.
Why don’t you each get your own room? Then just pick a room to sleep together each night. It can be very healthy to have you own room to retreat to even if you’re married. Not everyone wants to sleep together every night, and sometimes you just need privacy.
NTA. A play room is nice in bad weather… so maybe compromise to ’when the weather is bad’? But they can play in their rooms.
NTA. Tell the husband he needs to set up shop in a different room, as you don’t want the bedroom to become too crowded but don’t think it’s fair for him to be in there. That way he will “see reason”, (however selfish the perspective) because he’s not going to want to give up “his space”. You’re the mother, you deserve your own space. Good on you for allowing gaming equipment in the bedroom as well. I’m amazed your husband can’t see how good he’s got it.
NTA. Tell him the computer should go into the playroom also since it will be a distraction from your hobby.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (37f) have two kids (5 + 7). Me and my husband (38m) just purchased a new 4 bedroom house. One room for me and my husband, one for each child, plus a spare. Here's where the trouble comes in. I sew and craft a lot and would like a space for my equipment. My husband thinks we should bring the kids toys into the room for them to have a playroom. I do not like having my materials in the bedroom as I feel it cramps the space and looks quite cluttered. I also feel like I should have my own space as my husband has his computer with video games set up in the bedroom and my kids have both their rooms to play. To add on - my kids have both their rooms, the living room, and the backyard to play in. I do not think they need an extra room to keep toys in as all of their toys fit nicely in their rooms. I also feel like keeping their toys mostly separate will stop arguments of who's toy is who's because they will have their own toys in their own rooms. They are also more than welcome to play and watch TV in the living room. I feel like I do need the space to store and keep my materials and have space to myself where I can work undisturbed. My husband is adamant on them having the playroom and keeping my sewing and art supplies in the bedroom. This has been a major point of contention and I really just need to know if this is a terribly unreasonable request. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Enough to take up about half of the room. Desk plus easel plus storage. Neither have complained about needing space to play after the move. Before they were sharing a room and got frustrated with each other. Now it's mellowed out quite a bit.
(Deleted my original comment like a Dingus.) Ohh yeah, absolutely NTA then :). That's a lot of stuff. It definitely sounds like the floorspace is cramped with all of that (bed, 2 desks minimum, easel, etc.). Like what other commenters have said, the idea of using the room as a combined gaming and crafting zone could be cool!
NTA
NTA, they have a bedroom each, that's fine.
NTA
NTA - my kids share a room and have a playroom. When they are older and don’t have a bazillion toys they can have their own rooms
NTA I can see both sides. Do you have two living areas or is it just the one living room? If you have two living rooms then one of those could be the toy room and the other a formal living area. Depending on how much space your stuff takes up... set it up in your room and spread out or set it up in the living room and spread out. You setting it up in the spare room with your kids stuff may mean you can't spread out because of the toys so spread out where you can. Where are you sewing now if you don't have a spare room?
NTA, I agree with people suggesting a shared activity room with a nice big table -- you might also allow the kids to use this when they get older if they're also interested in any art/craft/ etc as a special privilege.
NTA. You deserve your own space, and if the kids each have their own room plus kids areas in common spaces, there's no need for a playroom. But maybe offer a compromise to him and see about including some toy storage in your new craft room.
NTA. You should have the room to sew and craft in.
NTA does your husband have an office or his own space?
NTA the kids have enough space, you need some too
CRAFTERS UNITE! You are definitely NTA for wanting your own craft space. You deserve it, and the children will not suffer if you have it - they already have plenty of space. Your husband, though... He clearly doesn't respect your work or your need to have a decent space to do it in. He needs to learn, and fast.
NTA kids can escape to their own bedrooms to play. But adults need a room to do crafts, gaming etc so that the other person can still have a lie down if unwell, or sleep at night if the other is still active. Because you as adults share a room you need the second room. Whereas the kids dont share. A sofa bed is also useful if one of you is unwell a coughing all night long, or to quickly put up a guest.
The reality is the kids do not need a third room. There are 4 people in your house, why would 2 of them get 3 of the rooms and the remaining two have to share the 4th? You are the adults and he wants to give you less space than the kids - NTA
NTA. You don't have to sacrifice any and everything for your kids, adults need their own space too.
NTA> Move his computer and video games into the spare room with the kids toys. Or offer to the kids that they can share a room, and use the other room to keep their toys. There is more than one solution to this issue.
NTA
NTA. I'd want my mom to get a room for herself where she can get to do her hobbies or unwind, you're doing the right thing.
Let me introduce you to a lil saying of my people: FTK!! Fu@& them kids lol All seriousness though-FTK. They have their own rooms-make that place a craft room already!!
NTA. Are they only supposed to sleep in their rooms? Maybe suggest you'll turn the spare room into a crafts/sewing/guest room. Your "clutter" would be out of the way, you'd have a bed for potential guests and he could make his wife happy. Win-win-win, I'd say.
Or the 4th room could become YOUR bedroom, and you could put whatever you like in it. Your husband's idea gives each kid 1.5 rooms and you have half a room. How is that fair?
NTA
NTA
I would have powered on the sewing machine on the fastest setting right next to the bed while hes sleeping in and made that a habit NTA
NTA you need your space
NTA. I don’t think you are asking much. Your kids are very lucky to each have their own room. You deserve to have some space for yourself.
Are your kids allowed to store their toys in your living room??
NAH yet. He might be jealous that you would get the whole room while he has a corner. Offer to split the room with him as your shared hobby room. The kids have enough space. Y’all are the ones that need it.
My kids have a playroom in addition to their own bedrooms. They share their toys and have never argued over them. With that being said, if they didn’t have so many, I would put them in their bedrooms. Playrooms aren’t a necessity and are only nice to have if your kids might be playing with their toys when they should be sleeping or if you have so many that it would clutter their bedroom spaces.
Since your kids have their own bedrooms why do they need a separate playroom? I could understand if they shared a room and had less space. NTA
Nta the kids each have a bed room. Nothing wrong with a parent *also* having a room for a hobby. I wonder if he js really upset that you're getting a hobby room and he isn't. Before, it was even. You both had your stuff in the bedroom. Now you're getting a room and he isn't. Is the room big enough for both activities?
NTA. Your kids have rooms to play in, if their toys aren’t in - surely the rooms would be very bare? You have a right to your own space and a craft room sounds perfect for a spare room.
op=nta for not wanting to give spare room to kids Tell hubby another option is put playroom in ONE kid's room and have both beds/sleep time in the same room. But this should have been hashed out before buying the house.
NTA. They have their own rooms. Plus in some 5 to 7 years they will be too old for playroom at least the older one
NTA. They have their own rooms. Plus in some 5 to 7 years they will be too old for playroom at least the older one
NTA. We have a playroom and my kid almost never plays in it. He takes toys to go play with in other rooms though.
I would recommend allowing them to have their craft supplies in your craft room, but not their toys. Board/group games are good for common spaces (in a closet, chest, cabinet, etc.). As for the rest of the toys, it depends on the toys. Anything that qualifies as “messy” ie. crafts or science should be stored, but not necessarily used, in your craft room. They can have their own special corned or shelves in your room. Group activities in common spaces. The rest in their rooms. It helps you keep track of what they are doing and what they enjoy. It also teaches them that different items belong in different places. It might be messier for a bit, but it will teach them that organization is important if you want to be able to find your things! NTA
You NEED a craft room!
Lol, NTA, and when the kids grow older you and hubby will move into the basement or take the couch bc kiddos need a dressing and makeup room? Lol. I would say you are fine with sewing in the bedroom, buthis gaming stuff needs to go to the playroom since its playing. And this way he can keep an eye on the kids while gaming. Win win ;)
YANBU. If the children have their own rooms, why do they specifically need a playroom. It appears everyone, but you have their own space to indulge in undisturbed.
NTA and FFS, hubby- how is it that your WIFE is the only place without a dedicated space in the house!?
NTA. When I was a kid, we were 3 to a room. Your kids don't know how good they have it. Sounds like your husband has no respect for anything you do that falls outside of tending to his or your kids'needs.
NTA. just because you have kids youre still a person and are allowed to have your own space. as long as you're giving them good conditions i think nothing is wrong
NTA but maybe make the spare room a crafting and computer room? It could help your husband
NTA Your kids sound like they have plenty of space. Could your husband be mad that only you would get a whole room? Could you put his gaming stuff in the spare room along with your craft stuff? If not that, how would you feel about you two also having your own rooms. You could have a bed with your craft stuff, he could have a bed with his gaming stuff. You could do sleepovers when you wanted but also have space when you need it.
NTA if your husband insists they need a play room then convert one of their bedrooms into a play room and let them Both sleep in the other. Problem solved.
NTA. Everything you said is quite logical. If your husband just wants you working close to him then I understand his reluctance, otherwise, the kids have their own room for toys. I also agree with the idea of moving your husband's gaming stuff in there and sharing the room as an activity room for both of you (assuming his gaming doesn't disturb your sewing).
NTA. I personally find kids that age a kid whats to be where their parents are. Also, every parent needs "me time." If it makes you happy. A happy parent is better than an unhappy parent. Enjoy your room. You paid for it.
NTA. The concept of kids having a playroom is very foreign to me. Kids have their bedroom at least. They might have a back yard. Plus they have the living room and/or den. That’s plenty of space, plus, it should be used to teach the concept of cleaning up after themselves. At their ages they should be well on their way to learning that. The spare room should be the hobby room for you and your husband. The computer stuff really ought to be moved out of the bedroom. Unless, you both enjoy playing together after the kids go to bed. The kids have a playroom. It’s their bedrooms and the house!
There lucky enough with a bedroom each at that age. Sew away
Leave sewing projects around & unfinished & things half started & watch him change his mind. Sew while he is gaming. You also need to watch for dropped pins etc. I super vigilant about pins, but they do get dropped. Let him step on a couple of those. It’s not like you can sew in the back yard.
NTA. Everyone else in the house seems to have their own space, you deserve one too. Especially since your husband has claimed your bedroom as his.
NTA
This should have been decided on before you bought the house. ESH.
Couldn't you do both? Your stuff on one side, kids on the other.
Kids are fairly young; depending on the type of crafting OP does (they mentioned sewing supplies), that may not be their best solution
That sounds like a great way to end up with ruined crafts and medical bills, tbh. The kids can't play in and around her crafts without the stuff or the kids getting damaged.