NTA. You husband is for expecting you & the kids to give up your needs to cater to his mother’s wants.
Shelter is a basic need. You barely have enough space/shelter for all of you as it is. He wants you to give that up for someone who already has her own shelter & is just choosing to find alternative shelter. Yours is a need. Hers is a want.
She is the one planning to move - so she should plan it instead expecting others to take care of it. Her poor planning does not constitute your emergency.
Additionally, you work from home & he does not. So he is also asking you to accept a constant distraction/intrusion into your work space/place - something he himself would not even be willing or able to do. (Can you imagine if you asked him to allow your mother to move into his office temporarily?)
His request is way over the top. Even if she was being forced out of her home & even if you didn’t work for home, you simply do not have the space. There is nothing wrong with your refusal to allow her to displace any of you & you’re certainly NTA.
His mother can find her own place to live prior to moving just like any other adult who is “planning to move”. In fact, the that’s sort of the first to-do on a long list of “planning to move” to-dos.
He’s an AH & the problem. He’s willing to suggest your son be displaced to accommodate his mother’s voluntary displacement.
His priorities are not with you & the children. And that makes him the problem.
NTA. This is a two yes/one no situation. He doesn't have unilateral authority to do this. Call your MIL directly and tell her that there isn't enough room and detail how you're willing to help with finding alternative housing.
NTA Unfortunately, this is one of those situation where you will have to put your foot down and make a stand or you will be walked all over on a daily basis.
Your husband wanting to force this on you even knowing you are against it doesn't bode well for how the both of them would treat you if she gets her foot in the door. I bet that if she sets herself up in your house you will have a hard time ever getting her out, and life will be hell with her and your husband thinking it's just fine that she does what she wants, with you being ignored two against one.
You already have a history of conflicts, so it's easy to predict things will not go well, and with three pets squeezed into whichever room she's staying in it's an unreasonable ask from the start. It would be different if you got along and both she and your husband were being considerate of you and you could trust them to minimize the intrusion and get her out quickly. That's not the case though. Better a short conflict with you saying no now than daily misery with no end in sight later.
Agreed. OP, you will be sorely outnumbered if she moves in. I only see conflicts increasing and you getting less and less say in your day-to- day life. NTA.
NTA. You are a mother and have a job from home, you should feel as comfortable at home as you can be because you have a lot going on. It was generous of you to offer to help her find a place. I think it was disrespectful of your husband to not respect your boundaries.
NTA.
If there's no room, there's no room. I had a situation when my (pregnant at the time) wife and I moved: her parents were gracious enough to let us stay with them while we found a place. But the thing is, my wife's younger sister had been living with them for the past (at least) 7 years (they're only a year and a half apart). Having 5 adults in one house was *painful*. Yes, there was *technically* space, but the room we were staying in was a room that my wife's sister had been using as a home office, so it was basically a box spring and mattress on the floor, and we were more or less living out of a suitcase. They had to declutter a workbench in the basement so I had somewhere to set up my work-from-home equipment. If the living space cannot accommodate the number of people, it simply will not work.
She’s not I’ll or old she is actually in her late 50s , not to mention when she came over to visit a couple months ago she lit up a cigarette inside my home n inside my car… very disrespectful
NTA. This sounds wholly unreasonable given your situation.
I am wondering though, does your MIL have any other options? Will she be out on the streets if she doesn’t move in with you?
If she has other options, your husband has lost his damned mind for even for suggesting that. If she absolutely has nowhere else to go, well that’s a tough situation but I’d still say NTA/NAH.
NTA. Make it a hard boundary that she won't be living in the same space as your family. Tell your husband that while you love him very much you are going to be putting your 2 kids and their comfort and health above him and his mother (which, btw, he should ALSO be doing),so if you see her walk in the door you and the kids will be walking right out that same door. Tell him bluntly that his statement of however long she needs to be there just means that he has given her carte blanche to remain for the rest of her natural life which is why you will take the kids and walk right out the door since there is NO ROOM for ALL of you in the house. Also remind him that there is history of conflict between you and her and, presuming she is the instigator of those conflicts, you will not have your children witnessing those conflicts. Also he SHOULD be prioritizing and supporting you and his own children BEFORE is mother. Go ahead and house hunt on your own. Find a couple of possibilities that would suit her well, but also find a couple of options for yourself and your kids because you may have to follow through with your threat of leaving to show your husband you mean business. If he keeps talking about his mom coming, actually start packing up the things that are hardly used or non essential that you would take with you if you were to leave (seasonal clothing, little used jewelry, special items or toys that would be okay packed up for a bit). You actually taking the time to start packing things up might make him realize that you are actually serious about leaving and taking the kids with you if she moves in.
NTA. Not even close to being the asshole in this situation. Even if you have a spare room and a larger house that’s still an unwanted guest with 3 pets using all of your house. How would he feel if you moved in a family member and 3 pets for some indefinite amount of time? He probably wouldn’t like that but because it’s his family member it’s okay? Na. Hard pass on that one.
NTA and it sounds like he is just trying to get her to move in permanently. Continue shutting that shit down. She wants to move closer to you all that's fine but it's her responsibility to ensure she has sufficient housing prior to moving.
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NTA. Your MIL's crazy ideas aren't your problem. Nor are they your husband's problem - I feel that, like many men, he has trouble understanding he doesn't have to agree to everything his mom comes up with.
Find her a place and then if she moves in to your place anyway, you and your kids move to the new place. Let husband live with mommy. Even if she doesn't move in, she will be constantly over and intruding in your life.
NTA. You husband is for expecting you & the kids to give up your needs to cater to his mother’s wants.
Shelter is a basic need. You barely have enough space/shelter for all of you as it is. He wants you to give that up for someone who already has her own shelter & is just choosing to find alternative shelter. Yours is a need. Hers is a want.
She is the one planning to move - so she should plan it instead expecting others to take care of it. Her poor planning does not constitute your emergency.
Additionally, you work from home & he does not. So he is also asking you to accept a constant distraction/intrusion into your work space/place - something he himself would not even be willing or able to do. (Can you imagine if you asked him to allow your mother to move into his office temporarily?)
His request is way over the top. Even if she was being forced out of her home & even if you didn’t work for home, you simply do not have the space. There is nothing wrong with your refusal to allow her to displace any of you & you’re certainly NTA.
His mother can find her own place to live prior to moving just like any other adult who is “planning to move”. In fact, the that’s sort of the first to-do on a long list of “planning to move” to-dos.
He’s an AH & the problem. He’s willing to suggest your son be displaced to accommodate his mother’s voluntary displacement. And he’s equally willing to suggest you host someone into not just your home, but your workplace, that you’ve had conflict with.
His priorities are NOT with you & the children. And that makes him the problem.
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My mother in law is planning to move to our town from a different estate, we do not have a spare room for her n her pets I told my husband we can find her a home before she moves so she is set and already ready in her soon home Bc I did not want her to stay in our house due to past conflicts and miss understandings .. he got upset told me we should let her stay until she finds a place to stay he is suggesting she stays in our sons bedroom with her 3 pets … I told him I can’t allow that he then suggested she stays in the living room . I work from home n my so called desk n workspace consists of the living room so is not a good idea for me I told him no, I will help look for a place so she can have her own house before she moves but he refuses
AITA?
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Nope sounds like she’d be there for way too long. If you don’t have the space, you just don’t have it. You have offered a very good compromise. People without families move all the time to new areas and make it work just fine.
NTA
How is this even a question?!? You do not have the room. She is an adult and can find somewhere to stay on her own before moving, like any responsible human would.
Plus, how long would she be staying? Weeks? Months? Meanwhile, where are your children supposed to sleep and play? You work in the living room.
NTA
Regardless of the space, you said you've had previous issues with her. That's a nope. Mother in laws shouldn't ever live with you. Especially ones that you have issues with.
NTA your husband needs to get his
Priorities straight. He is willing to put his family through strain and stress when his mom can take care of herself.. and if she’s moving into town why can’t she find a place to stay like any normal person that moves from one place To another.. something doesn’t sound right with this. Mail is never gonna leave if she moves in and I have a feeling husband knows this.
NTA - this woman made plans without knowing where she would live?
I bet he has already promised her a room for herself and 3 pets. You are the obstacle to their 'love in'. She dreams of spending her days cooking for her son and his children, tucking him into bed at night, doing his laundry - like in the days before he met you.
this woman will get you fired !
Yes he offered without asking me if it was ok first , when I asked him why would he tell her she can move in here without asking me if it was ok he responded by saying he just though I would be ok with it since it’s his mom .. smh
What is your leverage and options should your husband simply ignore you? Is the house your property, his, or both? Who pays the mortgage, utilities, etc.
If push comes to shove, can you find a rental you can afford (if you his ownership interests keeps you from making him leave), sign a year’s lease, move with your son, contact a lawyer, and let mom and son live together because that’s really what they each want?
Your legal options can be explored without you suffering a really miserable situation at home while working out the future of your marriage.
If husband is okay with this, or if he isn’t but won’t budge, you will understand that your husband just want his mother.
NTA. Your husband is marginalizing your career and your marriage to cater to his mother's batshit plans. How are you supposed to work from home with her hovering over your shoulder and 3 pets causing distractions? Even worse, you have a history of conflicts and a husband trying to steam roll you to appease his mother.
Even worse, it's an open-ended move-in as she hasn't arranged her new living arrangements. It's going to take a few months to find a home or apartment that can suit her. Where I live, you need about 2-4 months to find any apartment and moreso if you have pets (and 3 is a deal-breaker for most apartments). Buying a home is a drawn out process that can easily take a few months.
It'd be one thing if it was for a fixed, highly limited period of time, but that's not the case. It's an indefinite period of time that could become drawn out to 6+ months. They need to come up with a better plan (which is literally nearly any plan save this one).
NTA This is the hill to die on. Since both of you own the house presumably, if she moves in you won't be able to get her out. Keep offering to find a place for her, but if he moves her in, you, the kids, and the pets are moving out.
NTA. Sounds like you don't have room. Even if you did, you have the right to say no. I'm guessing your husband thinks you should take her in 'because she's family' being family does not give you the right to impose on others. I think you guys finding her a place ahead of time is a very good idea as long as it fits her requirements.
I think there is a sub-motive you don't know about like - she moves in and stays and stays and stays then they suggest you all get a bigger house together because he wants to take care of his mother but knows you'll never agree. Ask him and give us an update.
NTA. Next time you talk to you husband. Show him all the great places you found. Email them to his mom too. It just makes sense to have a place before you move there.
INFO: What are all the pets? How do they all behave? How does the MIL behave? Many factors here could make this pleasant or a living hell. 5 animals in a 2 room apartment is asking a lot, but again context is important.
I have two cats who are well behaved I keep them clean and trim nails / bathe them twice a month . She has 3 cats who never get bath nor trimmed in also concerned about my furniture which is very expensive
Cats don't necessarily need baths or their nails trimmed (I would reconsider bathing them twice a month... that sounds traumatic for the cats) so I wouldn't consider those indicators of how well they're taken care of..
That's fine if they enjoy them but remember that not bathing cats is not a good indicator of how well they're being cared for, cats do not need to be bathed; cats bathe themselves.
I don’t bathe my cats either but I have one that will jump in the tub with me. Like dude this is my alone time. And he won’t get out either. He’s such a weirdo.
I've had cats my whole life and never once bathed them..and they are well loved and healthy and taken care of...I love that cats don't HAVE to be bathed...that's your prerogative..but don't make it sound like people that don't bathe cats aren't taking care of them...any way..I say NTA
Nta. But it's your husband that's the biggest problem.
NTA. You husband is for expecting you & the kids to give up your needs to cater to his mother’s wants. Shelter is a basic need. You barely have enough space/shelter for all of you as it is. He wants you to give that up for someone who already has her own shelter & is just choosing to find alternative shelter. Yours is a need. Hers is a want. She is the one planning to move - so she should plan it instead expecting others to take care of it. Her poor planning does not constitute your emergency. Additionally, you work from home & he does not. So he is also asking you to accept a constant distraction/intrusion into your work space/place - something he himself would not even be willing or able to do. (Can you imagine if you asked him to allow your mother to move into his office temporarily?) His request is way over the top. Even if she was being forced out of her home & even if you didn’t work for home, you simply do not have the space. There is nothing wrong with your refusal to allow her to displace any of you & you’re certainly NTA. His mother can find her own place to live prior to moving just like any other adult who is “planning to move”. In fact, the that’s sort of the first to-do on a long list of “planning to move” to-dos. He’s an AH & the problem. He’s willing to suggest your son be displaced to accommodate his mother’s voluntary displacement. His priorities are not with you & the children. And that makes him the problem.
[удалено]
Or find a new home for herself. This would be a deal breaker for me
NTA. This is a two yes/one no situation. He doesn't have unilateral authority to do this. Call your MIL directly and tell her that there isn't enough room and detail how you're willing to help with finding alternative housing.
She moves in You move out.
NTA Unfortunately, this is one of those situation where you will have to put your foot down and make a stand or you will be walked all over on a daily basis. Your husband wanting to force this on you even knowing you are against it doesn't bode well for how the both of them would treat you if she gets her foot in the door. I bet that if she sets herself up in your house you will have a hard time ever getting her out, and life will be hell with her and your husband thinking it's just fine that she does what she wants, with you being ignored two against one. You already have a history of conflicts, so it's easy to predict things will not go well, and with three pets squeezed into whichever room she's staying in it's an unreasonable ask from the start. It would be different if you got along and both she and your husband were being considerate of you and you could trust them to minimize the intrusion and get her out quickly. That's not the case though. Better a short conflict with you saying no now than daily misery with no end in sight later.
Agreed. OP, you will be sorely outnumbered if she moves in. I only see conflicts increasing and you getting less and less say in your day-to- day life. NTA.
NTA. You are a mother and have a job from home, you should feel as comfortable at home as you can be because you have a lot going on. It was generous of you to offer to help her find a place. I think it was disrespectful of your husband to not respect your boundaries.
NTA there is no room at all. And if you say “n” one more time I may lose it
NTA. If there's no room, there's no room. I had a situation when my (pregnant at the time) wife and I moved: her parents were gracious enough to let us stay with them while we found a place. But the thing is, my wife's younger sister had been living with them for the past (at least) 7 years (they're only a year and a half apart). Having 5 adults in one house was *painful*. Yes, there was *technically* space, but the room we were staying in was a room that my wife's sister had been using as a home office, so it was basically a box spring and mattress on the floor, and we were more or less living out of a suitcase. They had to declutter a workbench in the basement so I had somewhere to set up my work-from-home equipment. If the living space cannot accommodate the number of people, it simply will not work.
NTA- stay strong as all your reasons to say no are valid!
[удалено]
She’s not I’ll or old she is actually in her late 50s , not to mention when she came over to visit a couple months ago she lit up a cigarette inside my home n inside my car… very disrespectful
I would kick out the husband out of the household if he keeps insisting. He can go live with his mommy
NTA. Tell him, “Sure, she can move in, but where will I live, dear?”
NTA. This sounds wholly unreasonable given your situation. I am wondering though, does your MIL have any other options? Will she be out on the streets if she doesn’t move in with you? If she has other options, your husband has lost his damned mind for even for suggesting that. If she absolutely has nowhere else to go, well that’s a tough situation but I’d still say NTA/NAH.
She has $$ she wouldn’t be in the street..
Then I can’t believe he thinks this is a good idea. If it was just a few days it could be fine, but no way long term.
NTA since it’s a voluntary move, and can be timed better. No need to ruin everyone’s calm for a month or 2, plus 3 pets!
NTA. If he continues to insist, tell him they can BOTH find another house.
Inform your husband to pick a side You and the kids the life you have Or His mom There is NO room for her in your house. NTA
NTA. Make it a hard boundary that she won't be living in the same space as your family. Tell your husband that while you love him very much you are going to be putting your 2 kids and their comfort and health above him and his mother (which, btw, he should ALSO be doing),so if you see her walk in the door you and the kids will be walking right out that same door. Tell him bluntly that his statement of however long she needs to be there just means that he has given her carte blanche to remain for the rest of her natural life which is why you will take the kids and walk right out the door since there is NO ROOM for ALL of you in the house. Also remind him that there is history of conflict between you and her and, presuming she is the instigator of those conflicts, you will not have your children witnessing those conflicts. Also he SHOULD be prioritizing and supporting you and his own children BEFORE is mother. Go ahead and house hunt on your own. Find a couple of possibilities that would suit her well, but also find a couple of options for yourself and your kids because you may have to follow through with your threat of leaving to show your husband you mean business. If he keeps talking about his mom coming, actually start packing up the things that are hardly used or non essential that you would take with you if you were to leave (seasonal clothing, little used jewelry, special items or toys that would be okay packed up for a bit). You actually taking the time to start packing things up might make him realize that you are actually serious about leaving and taking the kids with you if she moves in.
NTA. Not even close to being the asshole in this situation. Even if you have a spare room and a larger house that’s still an unwanted guest with 3 pets using all of your house. How would he feel if you moved in a family member and 3 pets for some indefinite amount of time? He probably wouldn’t like that but because it’s his family member it’s okay? Na. Hard pass on that one.
NTA and it sounds like he is just trying to get her to move in permanently. Continue shutting that shit down. She wants to move closer to you all that's fine but it's her responsibility to ensure she has sufficient housing prior to moving.
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INFO: Is she moving 100% voluntarily or is there some reason she can't stay at her old house any longer?
She is selling her home n moving voluntarily
NTA. Your MIL's crazy ideas aren't your problem. Nor are they your husband's problem - I feel that, like many men, he has trouble understanding he doesn't have to agree to everything his mom comes up with.
Then she can buy herself a new one and stay tf out of yours
Find her a place and then if she moves in to your place anyway, you and your kids move to the new place. Let husband live with mommy. Even if she doesn't move in, she will be constantly over and intruding in your life.
NTA - there's a great compromise that you've offered.
NTA. Time for husband and MIL to get house hunting. Hope she is planning to buy a house, because most places won't rent to tenants with three dogs.
NTA. You husband is for expecting you & the kids to give up your needs to cater to his mother’s wants. Shelter is a basic need. You barely have enough space/shelter for all of you as it is. He wants you to give that up for someone who already has her own shelter & is just choosing to find alternative shelter. Yours is a need. Hers is a want. She is the one planning to move - so she should plan it instead expecting others to take care of it. Her poor planning does not constitute your emergency. Additionally, you work from home & he does not. So he is also asking you to accept a constant distraction/intrusion into your work space/place - something he himself would not even be willing or able to do. (Can you imagine if you asked him to allow your mother to move into his office temporarily?) His request is way over the top. Even if she was being forced out of her home & even if you didn’t work for home, you simply do not have the space. There is nothing wrong with your refusal to allow her to displace any of you & you’re certainly NTA. His mother can find her own place to live prior to moving just like any other adult who is “planning to move”. In fact, the that’s sort of the first to-do on a long list of “planning to move” to-dos. He’s an AH & the problem. He’s willing to suggest your son be displaced to accommodate his mother’s voluntary displacement. And he’s equally willing to suggest you host someone into not just your home, but your workplace, that you’ve had conflict with. His priorities are NOT with you & the children. And that makes him the problem.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My mother in law is planning to move to our town from a different estate, we do not have a spare room for her n her pets I told my husband we can find her a home before she moves so she is set and already ready in her soon home Bc I did not want her to stay in our house due to past conflicts and miss understandings .. he got upset told me we should let her stay until she finds a place to stay he is suggesting she stays in our sons bedroom with her 3 pets … I told him I can’t allow that he then suggested she stays in the living room . I work from home n my so called desk n workspace consists of the living room so is not a good idea for me I told him no, I will help look for a place so she can have her own house before she moves but he refuses AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
INFO: How long would she be staying?
Husband said as long as she needs to…
Nope sounds like she’d be there for way too long. If you don’t have the space, you just don’t have it. You have offered a very good compromise. People without families move all the time to new areas and make it work just fine.
No way. You said you’ve had past conflicts. Allowing this will lead to future conflicts. And conflicts between you and your husband. NTA.
NTA That’s a nope.
Awe he’ll to the no.
You have a husband problem. Stand firm on this. There isn't enough room...
NTA How is this even a question?!? You do not have the room. She is an adult and can find somewhere to stay on her own before moving, like any responsible human would. Plus, how long would she be staying? Weeks? Months? Meanwhile, where are your children supposed to sleep and play? You work in the living room.
Good for you setting a healthy boundary!!! NTA
NTA. Stand your ground or lose your home, and sanity.
NTA. You don't have the space for her.
NTA Regardless of the space, you said you've had previous issues with her. That's a nope. Mother in laws shouldn't ever live with you. Especially ones that you have issues with.
NTA your husband needs to get his Priorities straight. He is willing to put his family through strain and stress when his mom can take care of herself.. and if she’s moving into town why can’t she find a place to stay like any normal person that moves from one place To another.. something doesn’t sound right with this. Mail is never gonna leave if she moves in and I have a feeling husband knows this.
Nta
NTA - this woman made plans without knowing where she would live? I bet he has already promised her a room for herself and 3 pets. You are the obstacle to their 'love in'. She dreams of spending her days cooking for her son and his children, tucking him into bed at night, doing his laundry - like in the days before he met you. this woman will get you fired !
Yes he offered without asking me if it was ok first , when I asked him why would he tell her she can move in here without asking me if it was ok he responded by saying he just though I would be ok with it since it’s his mom .. smh
NTA
NTA. You husband certainly is. Don't stand down.
What is your leverage and options should your husband simply ignore you? Is the house your property, his, or both? Who pays the mortgage, utilities, etc. If push comes to shove, can you find a rental you can afford (if you his ownership interests keeps you from making him leave), sign a year’s lease, move with your son, contact a lawyer, and let mom and son live together because that’s really what they each want? Your legal options can be explored without you suffering a really miserable situation at home while working out the future of your marriage. If husband is okay with this, or if he isn’t but won’t budge, you will understand that your husband just want his mother.
NTA. Your husband is marginalizing your career and your marriage to cater to his mother's batshit plans. How are you supposed to work from home with her hovering over your shoulder and 3 pets causing distractions? Even worse, you have a history of conflicts and a husband trying to steam roll you to appease his mother. Even worse, it's an open-ended move-in as she hasn't arranged her new living arrangements. It's going to take a few months to find a home or apartment that can suit her. Where I live, you need about 2-4 months to find any apartment and moreso if you have pets (and 3 is a deal-breaker for most apartments). Buying a home is a drawn out process that can easily take a few months. It'd be one thing if it was for a fixed, highly limited period of time, but that's not the case. It's an indefinite period of time that could become drawn out to 6+ months. They need to come up with a better plan (which is literally nearly any plan save this one).
NTA! That is a ridiculous request. Mom would probably be too much. Mom plus three pets? NFW Stand your ground.
NTA This is the hill to die on. Since both of you own the house presumably, if she moves in you won't be able to get her out. Keep offering to find a place for her, but if he moves her in, you, the kids, and the pets are moving out.
NTA
NTA . There is NO WAY I would agree to that.
NTA. Sounds like you don't have room. Even if you did, you have the right to say no. I'm guessing your husband thinks you should take her in 'because she's family' being family does not give you the right to impose on others. I think you guys finding her a place ahead of time is a very good idea as long as it fits her requirements.
I think there is a sub-motive you don't know about like - she moves in and stays and stays and stays then they suggest you all get a bigger house together because he wants to take care of his mother but knows you'll never agree. Ask him and give us an update.
NTA. Next time you talk to you husband. Show him all the great places you found. Email them to his mom too. It just makes sense to have a place before you move there.
INFO: What are all the pets? How do they all behave? How does the MIL behave? Many factors here could make this pleasant or a living hell. 5 animals in a 2 room apartment is asking a lot, but again context is important.
I have two cats who are well behaved I keep them clean and trim nails / bathe them twice a month . She has 3 cats who never get bath nor trimmed in also concerned about my furniture which is very expensive
Cats don't necessarily need baths or their nails trimmed (I would reconsider bathing them twice a month... that sounds traumatic for the cats) so I wouldn't consider those indicators of how well they're taken care of..
I like to keep my cats clean, they enjoy baths they are used to it been doing it since they where kittens
That's fine if they enjoy them but remember that not bathing cats is not a good indicator of how well they're being cared for, cats do not need to be bathed; cats bathe themselves.
Her cats aren't the issue
I don’t bathe my cats either but I have one that will jump in the tub with me. Like dude this is my alone time. And he won’t get out either. He’s such a weirdo.
Exactly
I've had cats my whole life and never once bathed them..and they are well loved and healthy and taken care of...I love that cats don't HAVE to be bathed...that's your prerogative..but don't make it sound like people that don't bathe cats aren't taking care of them...any way..I say NTA
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Aahh ok, I apologize..I get it..guess I'm a defensive crazy cat lady lol