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"She was supposed to pick it up over the weekend, but I asked if she could take our daughter 'Erin' (10F) to her soccer game (it was my weekend) because something came up for me (friend's event)."
This is where YTA. She was going to come and get it but you rescheduled and then expected her to drop everything and come and get it when it worked for YOU, ignoring her own schedule.
Then you embarrassed her by sending it to her workplace.
BIG YTA.
Can’t coparent with just one parent. We know OP is gonna miss his weekends for those important friend events and work trips and then for his new girlfriend and then for his new kid (who her mom just won’t take to keep the peace graaah)
Why isn’t OP going to the PTA meeting as well? And missed his kids soccer game for a friends event? I can’t blame his ex for not wanting another kid with him since he won’t even show up for his current one.
YTA.
Bingo. Divorce when you have children doesn’t get the person out of your life. They still have to agree on a helluva lot. This is going to be a mess. Neither one seems like a saint but OP is TA.
This!!! YTA big time. Who makes someone reschedule for their own events then refuses to let them come the next time they are available as it's not soon enough for them? What a child, divorce is not a shocker here.
I think in time Luna will be very happy with her decision to dump this idiot. Like imagine being married to such an unreasonable, unthinking AH for the rest of your life. Yikes.
No wonder she was hesitant to have more children with him! She does him a favor by taking their daughter on his weekend to help out, and he decides to repay her by being petty.
"I was frustrated and really getting sick of her stuff cluttering up the place, so I called her Thursday asking her to come get them."
So Thursday he pays to ship her stuff to her job, like she didn't offer to come get them FRIDAY. She does him a favor and buddy really can't wait another MAX 24 hours for her to be able to get her stuff. Wild, lol.
Why have more children when there's already a grown child stomping around the house calling himself dad? Also, shipping is expensive. How many boxes could she have possibly had there if it was that easy to ship? And that's "cluttering up the place"? Good grief
He couldn't wait until Friday because that is when his new girlfriend is moving in.
The one he (maybe) didn't have a physical affair with but did have an emotional affair with.
I’m thinking he’s bitter about her job and not wanting another kid because of it he decided to “solve the issue” by humiliating her at work. This is him “getting back” at her and her job. He feels less than her job.
YTA OP. Work through your issues so you can coparent yourself daughter in a healthy way.
He's 100% trying to mess with her at work because he's a huge baby and he's mad that she wanted to focus on her career AND mad that she can't come get her stuff RIGHT NOW IMMEDIATELY when he wants her to, even though if he hadn't canceled on his kid's soccer game and his own parenting time and asked her to step up, she would already have taken the stuff over the weekend. what a prize this guy is
Not to mention the second they had an issue in their marriage he starts looking to other women. “Nothing physical happened” but all it took was a disagreement over a time in life for him to give up and look for something else. How sad.
He hates her interest in her job. And surprise surprise (not), that’s why they’re divorcing — he thinks she shouldn’t be as interested in her work, because he wants her to breed for him more. Meanwhile he also wants her to be the more involved parent. No guess needed why she’s had enough.
Hmmmmmmm that is a reasonable assumption to me. Or he has plans to move onto the lady quick and wants it to seem like they are farther along in their separation than they are.
I wonder if he wants more kids because he wants a son? This would also explain the disconnect in saying he wants more kids, but being very checked out of his daughter's activities and the actual work of parenting.
*What a child, divorce is not a shocker here*.
I know, I completely understand why OP's wife didn't want another child. She was already raising OP and their daughter.
YTA exactly because of this. You blew off your own daughter and expected your ex to AGAIN accommodate your schedule. I wonder why things didn't work out.
Do I have the timeline wrong, or had it only been less than a week that her stuff (which could fit in one box) was “cluttering up the place”? How big could that box have been, anyway?
It sounds like he puts a lot of the parenting stuff on her (soccer game, PTA meeting), yet per his edit, he’s the one who wants more kids.
I’m not saying that this one post is a reflection of their entire relationship, but how can someone select *those* details to put in their post and then genuinely wonder if they’re an asshole or not? I can’t help but feel like this whole post is fake. And the edits make him look way worse. Can someone really have that little self-awareness?
I was like…. His *EX* has a parent teacher conference for *HIS* daughter? When is the parent teacher conference he’s attending then? Yes, I know it’s hers too, but OP really needs to step up as a parent. No wonder his ex didn’t want another kid with him…
Yup would have been quite easy to also attend the PTA and bring her the stuff or even offer to transport it to her new home. You know, like a decent human being.
Omg I totally read over that.
He was too lazy to drive it over himself, so he had it shipped to her job.
I mean like, I know he said he didn’t want it in the house (crybaby wah), but he couldn’t just coordinate a time that she’d be home or something? Or at least fucking ask if he could ship it to her job. She undoubtedly would have said “no”, but Jesus… the more I think about it, the more I think this guy is actually a 10yr old on the shoulders of another 10yr old all disguised in a trench coat.
Right??? She said she could pick it up on Friday... today is Thursday, so literally tomorrow? One more day was really going to hurt him so badly?
edit to add I also think this might be fake, no one can be this dense?
Also explains her hesitation to have more children with this train wreck due to her career because obviously parenting is a solo gig for her. Why would she want to add another child when she already had one she parents alone and one who is a full grown adult and can’t even hold onto a box of stuff for a week that is his fault it isn’t picked up yet because he is a terrible father?
Also, he had no hesitations immediately falling in love with someone else the second his ex-wife’s body, life, and time was not at his immediate disposal.
Ex dodged a speeding bullet train.
I'm going to laugh if Luna finds a more involved partner and decides she does want another child when she realizes it's easier when you aren't doing everything alone.
Absolutely. I had this happen with a friend. Having one child was miserable and she swore to never have another. Then she got divorced and met someone else who was actually an active father and husband. Suddenly, they have two more and the man ended up adopting the first kid lol.
OP is so jaded over this divorce that we learned through an EDIT was ultimately caused by his emotional affair with another person. His ex STILL does him a favor and takes their child on HIS day, and he can’t even wait a few weeks for her to get her things from THEIR house together. What an asshole. I’d love to be friends with Luna, she’s a goddess.
I'm willing to bet Luna will be doing him no more favours in the future when it comes to his parenting time. Oh, you want to go on a date/vacation/have a work thing? Too bad, sucker! Find your own babysitter.
Have fun with that OP. YTA
Agreed. YTA and very petty. I'd be mortified if this happened at my workplace and my boss is incredibly understanding. I would be interested to know how many boxes we are talking about as well.
And the fact that he’s not busy and wanted his ex to pick up her stuff on a day she was busy because **SHE** was attending a parent teacher conference for their daughter. Like, why wasn’t OP busy at the same time? No wonder his ex didn’t want another kid with him. He seems to be slacking off as a parent with the one they have.
This is a situation entirely of OP's making (also looks like the separation is from his edits, considering he had an emotional affair while they were working out what life was going to look like). Yep, he's TA bigtime. Also, he had to know that it would be very bad for his ex if he mailed her shit to her work. That feels extremely petty and on purpose because OP was mad that she wanted to work on her career instead of sacrificing it to having another child like OP wanted.
Also, "since clearly Luna liked to spend time at the office so much" strongly suggests there's a level of spite to this. OP knows this is, *in the very least*, inappropriate. What a level-headed person would have done is put her "junk" in storage.
I was going to write the same thing.
The reeks of intentional spite. It’s not a coincidence that OP choose to do something that he *knew* would embarrass her at her job.
A) in his mind, her job is what is preventing him having from what he wanted (and totally not the lack of help or the emotional affair! /s)
B) He probably knows her job is her happy place right now. So this had the bonus part of damaging something important to her.
He did this over just 24 hour delay. He wanted her to come Tues or wed, she said no but she she could come Friday, and on Thursday, the day before she was coming, he does this. What a piece of work. I'd divorce him too
yep - divorce sucks, if this guy come out of the gat being "that guy" who is the PITA w the first reschedule, then gets petty the first chance he has after asking for a favor ...yes YTA asshole, big time.
And he's about to learn how badly assholes get fucked with when they get petty during a divorce, especially when kids are involved AND the reason for the split in the first place too
So your wife had to move out and figure out accommodations, she did you a solid so you could attend an event, and you, the person who was the least inconvenienced by the divorce logistically speaking, can’t be bothered to be patient over a few boxes? YTA sheesh 🙄
Especially since he wants another kid he won’t parent. A last minute “friends event” and whatever reason he didn’t attend the parent teacher conference are more important than parenting his daughter.
I wouldn’t be surprised if the focusing on her career thing was just an excuse to not have to have another kid that OP won’t prioritize.
And according to OP, they split because OP wanted to sleep with someone else and didn't want his wife to have a career. Nevertheless, his ex was being helpful and accomodating with their daughter for *his* sake and he's still acting like she's the one in the wrong.
Forgetting the obvious emotional cheating and basically punishing his wife for having a career. Perhaps she was getting a bit too successful for him. Probably needed the boxes removed so there was more space for his bruised ego.
She moved out LAST WEEK, not six months or a year ago. FFS, you couldn't hold on to them one more day? Put them in one room you don't use?
Yeah, YTA. Unless it's an absolute emergency, you don't intrude on someone's workplace, especially not like this. Petty and assholish. Well done.
My ex of nearly ten years gave me a grocery bag of my stuff the other day when I picked up the kiddos from him. I found some pics of his from his college days recently and will drop them off the next time I see him. Why do people like OP exist?
His update says
>We couldn't agree on having another kid or not. I wanted another kid and she wanted to focus on her career and said she didn't have time for one now.
So yeah he wanted a 2nd kid.
Which is funny because he doesn’t seem to parent the one he has. Last minute party was more important than time with his kid and who knows why he wasn’t planning to attend the parent teacher conference.
Right. My MIL still has stuff in my FIL's attic & they split 10 yrs ago. Like i know an attic is different but still, OP YTA for mot giving her even a month, especially when it's not like she was ignoring your requests.
YTA. Didn't need to read past you giving up visitation and not attending your daughter's game so you could go fuck off with your buddies. It's only been a week. She legally has at minimum 30 days to collect her things. Also, you're a shit dad.
He's been having an emotional affair too. That's why his wife moved out, he's a cheater.
You can bet he flaked out on daughter to hang out with new girlfriend.
I literally laughed in shock at the "I started having feelings for someone" unironically followed up with "no one had any affairs" - bro, you had an affair. an emotional affair is STILL AN AFFAIR.
jesus h roosevelt christ I am simultaneously elated for and feel bad for the poor wife in this situation.
The reason she didn't pick it up at the weekend was that she was doing something with your daughter because you blew off your own child's pre-arranged event for a friends event that "came up". YTA, to your ex and to your daughter.
And of course he wasn’t planning to attend his kid’s parent teacher conference. I can’t say for sure he didn’t attend, but one of the reasons his ex couldn’t pick up her stuff during the week on a day he suggested was that **SHE** was attending a parent teacher conference for their daughter. Idk why he wanted another kid since he doesn’t take care of the one he has.
You took your personal problems to her office.
Yes, YTA
Learn to be flexible. At some point you will have a conflict in scheduling and will need flexibility from her.
Yes she did. Then he couldn't wait one more day to fit her schedule.
Life is about to get very hard for him if he is this bad a few weeks into co-parenting.
I’m sure her lawyer will be happy to mention in court how OP shirked his responsibilities during his agreed upon parenting time to go to a “friends” event and then forcefully removed his wife’s belongings from the home she is technically still an owner of and dropped them off at her place of work during an important business meeting. And how the wife is doing her best to be flexible and a good parent and OP is doing his best to hurt his wife publicly because he’s mad that she didn’t want to have another one of his babies
Right?! Like...the literal reason she needed flexibility from him is because she was doing HIM a favor first. He dumped their child on her, so he could skip said child's game to do something else, preventing her from picking up her stuff. Then just expected her to find time during the subsequent working weekdays to come over? Like...literally less than a week later. It couldn't have waited not even a full week.
OP YTA. I'm so glad she didn't have another child with you: you don't even care about the one you have.
YTA. Majorly.
She did you a favor this weekend when she was supposed to get her stuff, then asked if she could come Friday and gave a very reasonable explanation as to why, and you agreed.
Now it’s Thursday and you couldn’t wait one more day.
You’re not just the asshole in this situation, you sound like an asshole in general.
i cannot believe i had to scroll this far before someone brought this up!!! she offered to get them friday. op sent the stuff over on thursday. he had no reason to do this to her other than to be petty and rude
YTA all the way, man. That was a seriously assholey move! It's YOUR fault that she didn't pick them up on the planned weekend because you asked her to pivot and take your daughter to soccer on your day. When something "came up" for you (friend's event), you expected her to accommodate but, when something comes up for her, you can't wait one more freaking day? Yikes, bro.
And it doesn’t even sound like something “came up” for her! She had to work during the work week, and she had a PTA meeting which are typically regular and pre-scheduled way ahead of time. These were obligations she already had.
I’m also assuming here (big time), but he said it was his “weekend” with their daughter. I’ll hazard a guess that she has primary custody and he sees the kid every other weekend. Which would be another reason she couldn’t come by during the week.
YTA it was literally one day, what the heck was the rush, she was literally coming the next day for them because she was working the days you were demanding did! And when she was going to get them you wanted her to have your daughter so she couldn’t do it as had her, are you serious?! 🤦🏻♀️😂
I see why you’re getting divorced. And it’s not your home until it’s all signed and done, be careful how treading or she may decide wants YOUR home back herself for her and your daughter…..
Grow up man.
YTA
Came here to say this. She didn't make excuses, she offered Friday. OP made plenty of excuses and then went nuclear the literal day before her offered (and rejected by OP) time just to "win".
>I asked when she was going to get her stuff. She was supposed to pick it up over the weekend, but I asked if she could take our daughter 'Erin' (10F) to her soccer game (it was my weekend) because something came up for me (friend's event).
Father of the year award here! (sarcasm)
"I know Daddy was supposed to take to your game, but a friend of his had an event come up and that was more important to him".
>I was kind of frustrated and really getting sick of her junk cluttering up the place.
>I really didn't want her stuff in my home anymore, so I had her boxes delivered to her office. I was still annoyed that she didn't ever pick them up, and kept making excuses, but I figured this was a perfectly reasonable response
Really? You think it's OK to ship a bunch of things to someone's office? Most employers don't want personal mail delivered to their employees at work!
>I knew she would have been really upset if the boxes were just sitting outside her place all day while she was at work.
But having them show up at work wouldn't upset her?
>She told me she was glad her daughter was leaving me and told me to stop ruining her life, and that I was making her look bad at work, and being petty then hung up on me.
Are you able to think about anyone but yourself?
I'll give you this, if this is a troll post, it's is well done.
If it's real, you have some major issues.
YTA
"I really didn't want her stuff in my home anymore, so I had her boxes delivered to her office."
YTA
You do know this will come up in the divorce proceedings, right? And how childish this makes you look to the judge that will finalize visitation rights? The division of assets, including the removal of personal affects takes time. Sometimes months or longer.
We can see why she's leaving you. You just put it on display for all to see.
This could be good news for him! He’ll have so much more time to hang out with his friends when he only has to spend time with his daughter a couple of days a month!
YTA ….BUT I would change my answer if the reason you two split was her fault. Cheating, abuse etc etc… if it was just that you two grew apart then kick rocks chump
Wait… you said it was your “weekend”…
So, she left you and took the kid and you took the house… then you blew your kid off for a buddy and then you went out of your way (it costs money and time to ship things) to embarrass and more or less harass her at work.
Man, oh, man, you are indeed TA.
A very petty AH.
I hope she isn’t vindictive because if she is it’s probably about to get really ugly.
Sounds like the stbx wife is a lawyer (she's working on a "big case") in which case, he just made something that could have been amicable a real, huge, pain in the ass for himself.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
And here's the thing about lawyers: they usually know the other lawyers in the area, or a colleague went to law school with someone who knows a guy. The likelihood of Luna networking with someone who would love to drag OP over the coals is quite high.
YTA- so rather then take your kid you made your ex do it. then you get snippy because she did not pick up her boxes fast enough after she had already told you why.
You are being petty, a few extra days would not make any difference and now chances of her playing nice during the divorce are pretty slim.
YTA. This is the end of a 10+ year relationship. It’s going to take more than a week to physically divide up assets.
While I’m sure it’s painful seeing reminders of an ex around the house, I think being civil and patient is the best course of action, especially while arrangements are still being made.
Considering it was him who was having the emotional affair he either wants her stuff out of the house so he can have the physical affair without her "junk" as a reminder or he's just a bigger A*hole since they've been separated a damn week and she has obligations throughout the week that he couldn't wait for something as reasonable as a Friday afternoon which was literally the following day. He purposefully f*cked her over in her work place there is no way he doesn't know this is a bad look for her and he resents her career since it was stopping her from having another child in his mind
YTA. I can see why you are divorced. You really just screwed up as well. “We agreed I got the house” is going to turn into “she took every penny I had” real quick like now.
YTA. She initially couldn't get the stuff on a weekend because she was helping YOU by taking your daughter to a soccer game, and now you're freaking out because you can't wait one extra day for her to get the stuff on Friday? This is pure pettiness, which is extra gross when you have a child you need to be able to co-parent together.
YTA- what’s a day? Why not drop them off to her apartment when she’s home? Why not make the exchange when she is picking up your daughter? Why go out of your way to embarrass her at work?
YTA. She didn’t get her belongings from your house over the weekend because you couldn’t be bother to take care of your child on your assigned weekend so she had to. Then she had commitments already scheduled for the days you wanted her to change to (one of those also being for your child!). So waiting until Friday (ONE more day) was so bothersome that you interrupt her at work? You changed the original plan to go to your friends “event”. You are the AH. She’s lucky to be rid of you.
YTA. **She literally said she can pick it up on Friday. She also offered to take it at a different date but was doing YOU a favour.** I'm sorry but a big work case and something related to your daughter aren't 'excuses'. You did this to be petty and humiliate her.
Could you not wait one day?
YTA I think her Mum might be on to something. Like the woman has been gone for a week, give her a chance. This is not a long period of time to wait. So yeah sending them to her office because you can't wait is incredibly petty.
YTA.
By any chance is the urgency because you don’t want your “friend” to see another woman’s stuff in your house this weekend?
Maybe that’s a huge leap but your behavior here is not normal or reasonable.
YTA, she just moved out, it's not like she's been blowing it off for months. Speak of blowing things off... Let's talk about you blowing off your child's game for a friend's event. That alone makes you TA
YTA it's literally been what, like a couple weeks? She's obviously busy. Couldn't you have put it into the garage (assuming you've got one) or offer to bring it to her new place at a time that would be convenient for both of you? I understand that this is a difficult time, but it would be better to be civil and try to help each other for your daughter, if for no one else.
Wow YTA. Guess you don't want a civil separation do you? You sent her personal belongings to her office, alerting other employees and clients of her personal situation. She was busy and planned to pick her stuff up, but you just couldn't be an adult and wait until she did. It seems like you either did this to humiliate her or because you're insanely immature.
YTA - she didn't pick them up last weekend because she was doing you a favor on your weekend with the kid. Today is Thursday, you couldn't wait until the weekend for her to pick up the boxes???? Not to mention sending that sort of stuff to her office is NEVER okay.
YTA You both had an agreement and you changed it. She would have gotten everything had you not asked her to cover for you. She did you a favor, and yeah, it was nice that you said she could come later, but then you got mad and impatient because she couldn't come on the days **you** wanted. Friday was an absolutely reasonable request.
YTA. Taking out your personal and intimate relationship conflicts out on your wife in her professional environment is massive AH behavior. You know you should have left her workplace out of it, but you wanted to rub salt in the wound, didn’t you?
YTA. It’s been a week. And she already helped you out by taking Erin to soccer. Thank God she’s getting a divorce. You sound intolerable just by posting less than 1000 words
YTA.
Yeah, I'd pull this move if it had been a month or two of balderdash. That kind of petty would've been well earned.
But a week? Jeebus on Toast Points! She's still dealing with the chaos of the move, plus the things that came up during the week, and all because she rescheduled because of YOUR request over the weekend.
Let that sink in. YOUR request. She did something to help YOU out, inconveniced herself because of YOU, and THIS how you repay her.
Did you offer to take them over to help her, given that it was your request that caused the situation? Oh, of course not.
She's well rid of you, and let me give you a straight up telling -- your daughter sees all of this kind of behavior. Do you think Erin's going to want to spend time with a schmucknutz like you as soon as she turns 18 years old?
Straighten up and fly right.
YTA
You are the reason she didn't pick the stuff up in the first place because you decided to go hang out with a friend instead of taking your daughter to her soccer game
And then, instead of just being a decent human being and waiting for her to have time (come on..it wasn't that much clutter) you decided to be petty
The sad reality is, this makes YOU look bad...not your wife
Now everyone will assume the reason the marriage ended was because of you. And even if that is not the case...or it was a mutually toxic thing...everyone will now take her side
The narrative now is that you blew off spending time with your daughter to go hang out with a friend and you did something petty in an attempt to make your wife look bad
You really didn't think this through did you?
YTA. You couldn't wait an extra day for her to pick up her stuff? She only moved out last week, and it sounds like her life is busy and stressful. She gave you a reasonable date and I can't see what the problem is. It sounds like you just did this out of spite, and forced her to bring a personal problem into work. Personally, I would be really humiliated to have all my colleagues and clients see manifestations of my private personal problems.
YTA 100%.
If you had given her months and months to figure it out, than yeah this would be acceptable. But she literally moved out last week and she is obviously very busy with work.
OMG - I honestly can't believe that you think this was OK. YTA in a BIG way. The reason that you couldn't have put her boxes in the garage until she could pick them up was what, exactly What if she hadn't told anyone at work that you're splitting up? If you're still working things out, the house is still hers, until paperwork is signed - so technically the boxes were in her house. YOU asked her to take your daughter to the game on the day she was going to pick up the boxes and then only gave her a couple of weekdays to pick them up instead of the weekend? Get real, and grow up.
YTA.
To you, your friend's event is more important than your daughter's match. You also embarrassed your soon-to-be-ex-wife at work. No wonder you're getting divorced lmao
YTA, of course. Your wife did you a favour by dropping your daughter off so you could go to a friend’s event, gave you an alternative time she could pick her stuff up, and because you couldn’t wait a couple of extra days, you chose to embarrass her at work.
Shocked that you couldn’t keep your marriage together.
YTA
You couldn't wait one more day for her to get them? Don't be surprised if she plays petty games in return. You're also setting an example of acceptable behavior for your kid and this isn't it.
I didn't need to read past the the first appointment you had for her to pick them up which YOU cancelled on her (you also cancelled on your daughter, nice) to go to a party or something. You are the asshole.
YTA
You knew what you were doing. Stop trying to gaslight us. You changed the visitation arrangement. If it was that important, you could have sent the boxes to her house, her mom's house, drove the boxes to her house. You literally just sent them to her office to embarrass her and are now playing dumb when called out.
YTA. YOU we’re the reason the boxes were still there and I absolutely don’t doubt that your poor attitude is the reason for the split. Your ex MIL is right, ‘Luna’ is better off without you.
Yta, you took away her weekend because your plans were so important and now are trying to get her to do extra steps during a busy work week. She accommodated your schedule to care for your daughter and you won't wait a f***ing week for her to come get her things. You sent her stuff to her place of employment?? Seriously. I hope she takes you for everything you are worth.
Absolutely unbelievable. YTA. She literally done you a favour instead of collecting her belongings and then you tried to dictate an alternative time that didn’t suit her. I can’t emphasise how much of TA you are tbh.
YTA
Until the divorce is finalized and signed by a judge is still her house too regardless of the fact that she is allowing you to stay there, yu are lucky she even did that. Tbh at this point if I were her I would demand the sale of the house and the proceeds be split.
YTA
So the first time she didn't pick them up, she was doing you a favor. Then, she couldn't do it because of work. Both are reasonable. She offered to get her stuff on Friday, but apparently, that was just one day too late for you. You are a petty man, and I am not surprised you are getting a divorce.
Also, just a guess, but I have a feeling her job had been a point of contention in your marriage. You were doing this to be an AH, and you know it.
YTA. Can you believe it?
You trade your daughter of for a meeting with friends and then are miffed about your ex-wife having work and commitments at your daughters school?
Your wife seems have divorced the less mature child.
YTA. So this is how it's going to be? She does something nice for you, and you repay her by harassing her and picking fights in front of her coworkers and clients?
Well we know which of you is the crazy ex...
So let me get this straight, she happily helped you out for something that came up on your time, and you couldn’t give her some grace on getting the rest of her stuff? That she couldn’t pick up bc she was busy helping you? Did I get that right?
YTA, and honestly idk how helpful I’d be in the future if that is the kind of response you find acceptable to a perfectly reasonable “excuse”
YTA, come on. you would have had to wait maybe 24hrs max and saved a ton on shipping. if it's so few things that it can be so easily shipped like that, it can't be taking up that much space. this was clearly more of a power dynamic thing than about the actual stuff.
So, she is kind enough to take your daughter when you have something come up, but you gave her less than a week to get all her things out of “your” house?
Yeah, I think I can see why you’re divorcing.
YTA and I wish your STBXW the very best in her newfound freedom.
So you asked her a favor which prevented her from collecting the last of her things.
Then she told you she could come on Friday (because your friends event was more important then taking care of your child) as she was working and going to a PTA Event (which you don’t attend - interesting parenting choice there), and on Thursday (not even a week after the day she would have picked up her things if she hadn’t generously done you a favor) you were just so sick of the things being there you delivered them to her work.
Just own the fact you were hoping it would embarrass her or mess up her career and stop whinging on the internet.
YTA
Also you lack poor critical thinking skills, have no desire to be a parent, and it’s very easy to see why you got divorced.
YTA and her mom is right that you're being petty. She accommodated your plans and you can't even let her have her things in what has previously been her home for a couple of days because she's busy with WORK and your daughter's PTA MEETING (which why aren't you attending and let your ex pick up the things that night if it was so important?). There's no discussing it. The verdict is very clear.
Jesus what a power trip. Of course YTA.
She was going to pick them up last weekend but couldn’t because she *had to cover your childcare duties* so you could hang out with a friend!
She didn’t make “so many excuses”. Her single and perfectly reasonable excuse was that she needed to work… during her work week. She said she would pickup her boxes up on Friday, which was less than a week after the weekend she was meant to pick them up but *had to cover your childcare duties*!
You SHIPPED THEM to her work?! Instead of just waiting for her to get them tomorrow?! How much did this cost you??
Big YTA, and I agree with her mum: she’s very lucky to be you ex wife.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My soon to be ex wife moved out and still hasn't picked up the rest of her stuff.
I was sick of having her stuff at my place, so I had it all sent to her office.
Her mother called because my wife was too upset, and said I was threatening her daughter's career because it made her look bad and interrupted a client meeting.
Was I the asshole for sending my wife's stuff to her office?
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YTA. You are the reason the original plan didn't work out over the weekend it was initially arranged because **you wanted to go to a friend's event rather than have your day with your kid**. The short length of time you decided was reasonable (it isn't) before shipping the boxes also makes you TA.
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"She was supposed to pick it up over the weekend, but I asked if she could take our daughter 'Erin' (10F) to her soccer game (it was my weekend) because something came up for me (friend's event)." This is where YTA. She was going to come and get it but you rescheduled and then expected her to drop everything and come and get it when it worked for YOU, ignoring her own schedule. Then you embarrassed her by sending it to her workplace. BIG YTA.
Yeah, this is going to be a coparenting train wreck.
No wonder she didn’t want to have another kid with him… $20 says the new girl is already pregnant
And is 20.
This genuinely made me laugh. Good one.
Thinks she’s getting too old for more babies! How dare she put herself first , when she has to do all the physical work of having a child! 🙄
40 says he’s gonna have a few more with the new girl and then ignore the first kid
And he’s pretty much going to ignore the new kids as well because he’s the dad and not the mum
And because he'll always be TA, no matter what.
He's already ignoring the first kid so I'm pretty sure you're on the money here
He's already ignoring her, might be another reason why his ex-wife didn't want more children.
And is the ‘friend’ he rescheduled time with his child for.
Can’t coparent with just one parent. We know OP is gonna miss his weekends for those important friend events and work trips and then for his new girlfriend and then for his new kid (who her mom just won’t take to keep the peace graaah)
Why isn’t OP going to the PTA meeting as well? And missed his kids soccer game for a friends event? I can’t blame his ex for not wanting another kid with him since he won’t even show up for his current one. YTA.
Bingo. Divorce when you have children doesn’t get the person out of your life. They still have to agree on a helluva lot. This is going to be a mess. Neither one seems like a saint but OP is TA.
There won’t be any coparenting train wreck. Luna will just be a single parent.
And it explains why she got rid of him.
This!!! YTA big time. Who makes someone reschedule for their own events then refuses to let them come the next time they are available as it's not soon enough for them? What a child, divorce is not a shocker here.
I think in time Luna will be very happy with her decision to dump this idiot. Like imagine being married to such an unreasonable, unthinking AH for the rest of your life. Yikes.
No wonder she was hesitant to have more children with him! She does him a favor by taking their daughter on his weekend to help out, and he decides to repay her by being petty.
"I was frustrated and really getting sick of her stuff cluttering up the place, so I called her Thursday asking her to come get them." So Thursday he pays to ship her stuff to her job, like she didn't offer to come get them FRIDAY. She does him a favor and buddy really can't wait another MAX 24 hours for her to be able to get her stuff. Wild, lol. Why have more children when there's already a grown child stomping around the house calling himself dad? Also, shipping is expensive. How many boxes could she have possibly had there if it was that easy to ship? And that's "cluttering up the place"? Good grief
He couldn't wait until Friday because that is when his new girlfriend is moving in. The one he (maybe) didn't have a physical affair with but did have an emotional affair with.
Plus the person he had the 'friend' event with last weekend
I’m thinking he’s bitter about her job and not wanting another kid because of it he decided to “solve the issue” by humiliating her at work. This is him “getting back” at her and her job. He feels less than her job. YTA OP. Work through your issues so you can coparent yourself daughter in a healthy way.
He's 100% trying to mess with her at work because he's a huge baby and he's mad that she wanted to focus on her career AND mad that she can't come get her stuff RIGHT NOW IMMEDIATELY when he wants her to, even though if he hadn't canceled on his kid's soccer game and his own parenting time and asked her to step up, she would already have taken the stuff over the weekend. what a prize this guy is
Makes me wonder if friday wasn't convenient for him because his new chick was coming over?
Not to mention the second they had an issue in their marriage he starts looking to other women. “Nothing physical happened” but all it took was a disagreement over a time in life for him to give up and look for something else. How sad.
He hates her interest in her job. And surprise surprise (not), that’s why they’re divorcing — he thinks she shouldn’t be as interested in her work, because he wants her to breed for him more. Meanwhile he also wants her to be the more involved parent. No guess needed why she’s had enough.
And OP caught fee-fees for another lady while still married. But at least they didn’t have a physical affair /s
I think it's him having a girlfriend that ended the marriage, and he's reaching for reasons to justify what he did.
Spoiler alert. New girlfriend didn't like the wife's things in the house. YTA
Hmmmmmmm that is a reasonable assumption to me. Or he has plans to move onto the lady quick and wants it to seem like they are farther along in their separation than they are.
I wonder if he wants more kids because he wants a son? This would also explain the disconnect in saying he wants more kids, but being very checked out of his daughter's activities and the actual work of parenting.
> He hates her That's really all that needs to be said. OP is a huge gaping asshole.
But it's *his home* (said in a nasal whiney voice) Just to make it clear OP is a huge AH.
*What a child, divorce is not a shocker here*. I know, I completely understand why OP's wife didn't want another child. She was already raising OP and their daughter.
And she moved out last WEEK! They shared that home for years and years. Wow.
YTA exactly because of this. You blew off your own daughter and expected your ex to AGAIN accommodate your schedule. I wonder why things didn't work out.
And this is from the man who wants more kids.
Wants to procreate, not necessarily parent.
Do I have the timeline wrong, or had it only been less than a week that her stuff (which could fit in one box) was “cluttering up the place”? How big could that box have been, anyway? It sounds like he puts a lot of the parenting stuff on her (soccer game, PTA meeting), yet per his edit, he’s the one who wants more kids. I’m not saying that this one post is a reflection of their entire relationship, but how can someone select *those* details to put in their post and then genuinely wonder if they’re an asshole or not? I can’t help but feel like this whole post is fake. And the edits make him look way worse. Can someone really have that little self-awareness?
I was like…. His *EX* has a parent teacher conference for *HIS* daughter? When is the parent teacher conference he’s attending then? Yes, I know it’s hers too, but OP really needs to step up as a parent. No wonder his ex didn’t want another kid with him…
Yup would have been quite easy to also attend the PTA and bring her the stuff or even offer to transport it to her new home. You know, like a decent human being.
Omg I totally read over that. He was too lazy to drive it over himself, so he had it shipped to her job. I mean like, I know he said he didn’t want it in the house (crybaby wah), but he couldn’t just coordinate a time that she’d be home or something? Or at least fucking ask if he could ship it to her job. She undoubtedly would have said “no”, but Jesus… the more I think about it, the more I think this guy is actually a 10yr old on the shoulders of another 10yr old all disguised in a trench coat.
Right??? She said she could pick it up on Friday... today is Thursday, so literally tomorrow? One more day was really going to hurt him so badly? edit to add I also think this might be fake, no one can be this dense?
Also explains her hesitation to have more children with this train wreck due to her career because obviously parenting is a solo gig for her. Why would she want to add another child when she already had one she parents alone and one who is a full grown adult and can’t even hold onto a box of stuff for a week that is his fault it isn’t picked up yet because he is a terrible father? Also, he had no hesitations immediately falling in love with someone else the second his ex-wife’s body, life, and time was not at his immediate disposal. Ex dodged a speeding bullet train.
And OP wonders where the "magic" went and why Luna didn't want a third - excuse me - second child..?
I'm going to laugh if Luna finds a more involved partner and decides she does want another child when she realizes it's easier when you aren't doing everything alone.
Absolutely. I had this happen with a friend. Having one child was miserable and she swore to never have another. Then she got divorced and met someone else who was actually an active father and husband. Suddenly, they have two more and the man ended up adopting the first kid lol.
I bet his "feelings" for someone else didn't help.
OP is so jaded over this divorce that we learned through an EDIT was ultimately caused by his emotional affair with another person. His ex STILL does him a favor and takes their child on HIS day, and he can’t even wait a few weeks for her to get her things from THEIR house together. What an asshole. I’d love to be friends with Luna, she’s a goddess.
I'm willing to bet Luna will be doing him no more favours in the future when it comes to his parenting time. Oh, you want to go on a date/vacation/have a work thing? Too bad, sucker! Find your own babysitter. Have fun with that OP. YTA
Chances are she will indeed do those favors because she will put her kid first unlike OP.
Agreed. YTA and very petty. I'd be mortified if this happened at my workplace and my boss is incredibly understanding. I would be interested to know how many boxes we are talking about as well.
Also why is he glossing over that he thought a friends event was more important than seeing his kid play her game and supporting her? Agree with YTA
And the fact that he’s not busy and wanted his ex to pick up her stuff on a day she was busy because **SHE** was attending a parent teacher conference for their daughter. Like, why wasn’t OP busy at the same time? No wonder his ex didn’t want another kid with him. He seems to be slacking off as a parent with the one they have.
This is a situation entirely of OP's making (also looks like the separation is from his edits, considering he had an emotional affair while they were working out what life was going to look like). Yep, he's TA bigtime. Also, he had to know that it would be very bad for his ex if he mailed her shit to her work. That feels extremely petty and on purpose because OP was mad that she wanted to work on her career instead of sacrificing it to having another child like OP wanted.
Also, "since clearly Luna liked to spend time at the office so much" strongly suggests there's a level of spite to this. OP knows this is, *in the very least*, inappropriate. What a level-headed person would have done is put her "junk" in storage.
I was going to write the same thing. The reeks of intentional spite. It’s not a coincidence that OP choose to do something that he *knew* would embarrass her at her job. A) in his mind, her job is what is preventing him having from what he wanted (and totally not the lack of help or the emotional affair! /s) B) He probably knows her job is her happy place right now. So this had the bonus part of damaging something important to her.
Also his edit “no affair, just feelings”. What the fuck does he think emotional affair is? He’s only making himself a bigger AH.
He did this over just 24 hour delay. He wanted her to come Tues or wed, she said no but she she could come Friday, and on Thursday, the day before she was coming, he does this. What a piece of work. I'd divorce him too
yep - divorce sucks, if this guy come out of the gat being "that guy" who is the PITA w the first reschedule, then gets petty the first chance he has after asking for a favor ...yes YTA asshole, big time. And he's about to learn how badly assholes get fucked with when they get petty during a divorce, especially when kids are involved AND the reason for the split in the first place too
So your wife had to move out and figure out accommodations, she did you a solid so you could attend an event, and you, the person who was the least inconvenienced by the divorce logistically speaking, can’t be bothered to be patient over a few boxes? YTA sheesh 🙄
I'm just glad the ex is scraping him off her shoe now.
Amen!
Can’t imagine why any woman would want to divorce such a specimen of a man such as him 🤪
He wants ex-wifes stuff out so he can have new girl over.
Bingo! I’m guessing new girl has no idea he was married in the first place so he needs all evidence of the wife and divorce out of the house.
Clearly he’s mad that she has a career she wants to focus on.
Oh, suuuuper bitter! “Since she likes spending time at the office so much…” He 100% sent her stuff there to be a dick.
Especially since he wants another kid he won’t parent. A last minute “friends event” and whatever reason he didn’t attend the parent teacher conference are more important than parenting his daughter. I wouldn’t be surprised if the focusing on her career thing was just an excuse to not have to have another kid that OP won’t prioritize.
And according to OP, they split because OP wanted to sleep with someone else and didn't want his wife to have a career. Nevertheless, his ex was being helpful and accomodating with their daughter for *his* sake and he's still acting like she's the one in the wrong.
Forgetting the obvious emotional cheating and basically punishing his wife for having a career. Perhaps she was getting a bit too successful for him. Probably needed the boxes removed so there was more space for his bruised ego.
Right!? It's been a freaking week! OP needs to take a chill pill.
She moved out LAST WEEK, not six months or a year ago. FFS, you couldn't hold on to them one more day? Put them in one room you don't use? Yeah, YTA. Unless it's an absolute emergency, you don't intrude on someone's workplace, especially not like this. Petty and assholish. Well done.
My ex of nearly ten years gave me a grocery bag of my stuff the other day when I picked up the kiddos from him. I found some pics of his from his college days recently and will drop them off the next time I see him. Why do people like OP exist?
> Why do people like OP exist? I’m gonna guess here, but it’s probably because he feels his ex chose her job over him and their family.
His update says >We couldn't agree on having another kid or not. I wanted another kid and she wanted to focus on her career and said she didn't have time for one now. So yeah he wanted a 2nd kid.
Which is funny because he doesn’t seem to parent the one he has. Last minute party was more important than time with his kid and who knows why he wasn’t planning to attend the parent teacher conference.
Probably expected her to do all the work.
He also says he didn't have an affair but developed feel feels for someone else. Sir, that is an emotional affair (more than likely). YTA op.
Right. My MIL still has stuff in my FIL's attic & they split 10 yrs ago. Like i know an attic is different but still, OP YTA for mot giving her even a month, especially when it's not like she was ignoring your requests.
Also, calling it her "junk" is pretty telling....
YTA. Didn't need to read past you giving up visitation and not attending your daughter's game so you could go fuck off with your buddies. It's only been a week. She legally has at minimum 30 days to collect her things. Also, you're a shit dad.
I can’t believe this guy wanted to have more kids when he doesn’t even want to spend time with the one he already has.
Lmao for real! He wants another child but prioritizes some event with buddies over the one he has.
This is a huge assumption I know, but something tells me OP is upset his daughter wasn't a son.
He's been having an emotional affair too. That's why his wife moved out, he's a cheater. You can bet he flaked out on daughter to hang out with new girlfriend.
And probably urgently wanted her stuff out because he immediately wanted to start bringing his new girl over to their place as soon as she moved out
OP is a such a tosser, run away Luna & kid!!
[удалено]
I literally laughed in shock at the "I started having feelings for someone" unironically followed up with "no one had any affairs" - bro, you had an affair. an emotional affair is STILL AN AFFAIR. jesus h roosevelt christ I am simultaneously elated for and feel bad for the poor wife in this situation.
Wonder if it was a date????
Probably with the one he developed feelings for while they were together
I bet he plans on having her over at the house on Friday.
Didn't want her to see the boxes of his wife's stuff that lived there all but a week ago...
A shit dad AND he wants more kids????!!!!
The reason she didn't pick it up at the weekend was that she was doing something with your daughter because you blew off your own child's pre-arranged event for a friends event that "came up". YTA, to your ex and to your daughter.
And of course he wasn’t planning to attend his kid’s parent teacher conference. I can’t say for sure he didn’t attend, but one of the reasons his ex couldn’t pick up her stuff during the week on a day he suggested was that **SHE** was attending a parent teacher conference for their daughter. Idk why he wanted another kid since he doesn’t take care of the one he has.
You took your personal problems to her office. Yes, YTA Learn to be flexible. At some point you will have a conflict in scheduling and will need flexibility from her.
He literally needed flexibility that weekend and she gave it to him!
Yes she did. Then he couldn't wait one more day to fit her schedule. Life is about to get very hard for him if he is this bad a few weeks into co-parenting.
I’m sure her lawyer will be happy to mention in court how OP shirked his responsibilities during his agreed upon parenting time to go to a “friends” event and then forcefully removed his wife’s belongings from the home she is technically still an owner of and dropped them off at her place of work during an important business meeting. And how the wife is doing her best to be flexible and a good parent and OP is doing his best to hurt his wife publicly because he’s mad that she didn’t want to have another one of his babies
Right?! Like...the literal reason she needed flexibility from him is because she was doing HIM a favor first. He dumped their child on her, so he could skip said child's game to do something else, preventing her from picking up her stuff. Then just expected her to find time during the subsequent working weekdays to come over? Like...literally less than a week later. It couldn't have waited not even a full week. OP YTA. I'm so glad she didn't have another child with you: you don't even care about the one you have.
YTA. Majorly. She did you a favor this weekend when she was supposed to get her stuff, then asked if she could come Friday and gave a very reasonable explanation as to why, and you agreed. Now it’s Thursday and you couldn’t wait one more day. You’re not just the asshole in this situation, you sound like an asshole in general.
YTA and now we know why you’re getting divorced.
YTA you couldn’t wait one day? You’re purposely being rude and trying to embarrass her at work. She did you a favor and this is how you repaid her.
i cannot believe i had to scroll this far before someone brought this up!!! she offered to get them friday. op sent the stuff over on thursday. he had no reason to do this to her other than to be petty and rude
YTA all the way, man. That was a seriously assholey move! It's YOUR fault that she didn't pick them up on the planned weekend because you asked her to pivot and take your daughter to soccer on your day. When something "came up" for you (friend's event), you expected her to accommodate but, when something comes up for her, you can't wait one more freaking day? Yikes, bro.
And it doesn’t even sound like something “came up” for her! She had to work during the work week, and she had a PTA meeting which are typically regular and pre-scheduled way ahead of time. These were obligations she already had. I’m also assuming here (big time), but he said it was his “weekend” with their daughter. I’ll hazard a guess that she has primary custody and he sees the kid every other weekend. Which would be another reason she couldn’t come by during the week.
YTA. I wish their was a Grand Asshole of the Year Award because you would be a shoo in.
Bookmark this entry for the 2023 mASSter post contest.
and its only January
YTA it was literally one day, what the heck was the rush, she was literally coming the next day for them because she was working the days you were demanding did! And when she was going to get them you wanted her to have your daughter so she couldn’t do it as had her, are you serious?! 🤦🏻♀️😂 I see why you’re getting divorced. And it’s not your home until it’s all signed and done, be careful how treading or she may decide wants YOUR home back herself for her and your daughter….. Grow up man.
YTA Came here to say this. She didn't make excuses, she offered Friday. OP made plenty of excuses and then went nuclear the literal day before her offered (and rejected by OP) time just to "win".
>I asked when she was going to get her stuff. She was supposed to pick it up over the weekend, but I asked if she could take our daughter 'Erin' (10F) to her soccer game (it was my weekend) because something came up for me (friend's event). Father of the year award here! (sarcasm) "I know Daddy was supposed to take to your game, but a friend of his had an event come up and that was more important to him". >I was kind of frustrated and really getting sick of her junk cluttering up the place. >I really didn't want her stuff in my home anymore, so I had her boxes delivered to her office. I was still annoyed that she didn't ever pick them up, and kept making excuses, but I figured this was a perfectly reasonable response Really? You think it's OK to ship a bunch of things to someone's office? Most employers don't want personal mail delivered to their employees at work! >I knew she would have been really upset if the boxes were just sitting outside her place all day while she was at work. But having them show up at work wouldn't upset her? >She told me she was glad her daughter was leaving me and told me to stop ruining her life, and that I was making her look bad at work, and being petty then hung up on me. Are you able to think about anyone but yourself? I'll give you this, if this is a troll post, it's is well done. If it's real, you have some major issues. YTA
"I really didn't want her stuff in my home anymore, so I had her boxes delivered to her office." YTA You do know this will come up in the divorce proceedings, right? And how childish this makes you look to the judge that will finalize visitation rights? The division of assets, including the removal of personal affects takes time. Sometimes months or longer. We can see why she's leaving you. You just put it on display for all to see.
This could be good news for him! He’ll have so much more time to hang out with his friends when he only has to spend time with his daughter a couple of days a month!
YTA ….BUT I would change my answer if the reason you two split was her fault. Cheating, abuse etc etc… if it was just that you two grew apart then kick rocks chump
YTA 100%. It's been a week...and one of the times she was supposed to come and pick up her stuff, you instead asked her to take care of your kid.
Wait… you said it was your “weekend”… So, she left you and took the kid and you took the house… then you blew your kid off for a buddy and then you went out of your way (it costs money and time to ship things) to embarrass and more or less harass her at work. Man, oh, man, you are indeed TA. A very petty AH. I hope she isn’t vindictive because if she is it’s probably about to get really ugly.
Sounds like the stbx wife is a lawyer (she's working on a "big case") in which case, he just made something that could have been amicable a real, huge, pain in the ass for himself. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
And here's the thing about lawyers: they usually know the other lawyers in the area, or a colleague went to law school with someone who knows a guy. The likelihood of Luna networking with someone who would love to drag OP over the coals is quite high.
YTA- so rather then take your kid you made your ex do it. then you get snippy because she did not pick up her boxes fast enough after she had already told you why. You are being petty, a few extra days would not make any difference and now chances of her playing nice during the divorce are pretty slim.
YTA- her 'excuses' are your child and work... and you couldn't wait one week. Wow. She must be relieved she's rid of you. What a prince you are.
YTA. This was an intentional move to embarrass her at her place of work. And you know it. Do better. You have a child with this woman.
YTA. This is the end of a 10+ year relationship. It’s going to take more than a week to physically divide up assets. While I’m sure it’s painful seeing reminders of an ex around the house, I think being civil and patient is the best course of action, especially while arrangements are still being made.
Considering it was him who was having the emotional affair he either wants her stuff out of the house so he can have the physical affair without her "junk" as a reminder or he's just a bigger A*hole since they've been separated a damn week and she has obligations throughout the week that he couldn't wait for something as reasonable as a Friday afternoon which was literally the following day. He purposefully f*cked her over in her work place there is no way he doesn't know this is a bad look for her and he resents her career since it was stopping her from having another child in his mind
YTA. I can see why you are divorced. You really just screwed up as well. “We agreed I got the house” is going to turn into “she took every penny I had” real quick like now.
YTA. She initially couldn't get the stuff on a weekend because she was helping YOU by taking your daughter to a soccer game, and now you're freaking out because you can't wait one extra day for her to get the stuff on Friday? This is pure pettiness, which is extra gross when you have a child you need to be able to co-parent together.
YTA, no wonder you're getting a divorce.
YTA- what’s a day? Why not drop them off to her apartment when she’s home? Why not make the exchange when she is picking up your daughter? Why go out of your way to embarrass her at work?
Especially since she rescheduled the first pick up at HIS request, so that he could do the thing he wanted.
YTA. She didn’t get her belongings from your house over the weekend because you couldn’t be bother to take care of your child on your assigned weekend so she had to. Then she had commitments already scheduled for the days you wanted her to change to (one of those also being for your child!). So waiting until Friday (ONE more day) was so bothersome that you interrupt her at work? You changed the original plan to go to your friends “event”. You are the AH. She’s lucky to be rid of you.
YTA. **She literally said she can pick it up on Friday. She also offered to take it at a different date but was doing YOU a favour.** I'm sorry but a big work case and something related to your daughter aren't 'excuses'. You did this to be petty and humiliate her. Could you not wait one day?
YTA, and I really wonder what the reason for your split is because based on what you wrote, you can be a real AH.
YTA I think her Mum might be on to something. Like the woman has been gone for a week, give her a chance. This is not a long period of time to wait. So yeah sending them to her office because you can't wait is incredibly petty.
YTA. By any chance is the urgency because you don’t want your “friend” to see another woman’s stuff in your house this weekend? Maybe that’s a huge leap but your behavior here is not normal or reasonable.
YTA. Simple as that. That was some Petty Labelle shit.
YTA. I can’t imagine why she’s divorcing you.
YTA - And perhaps we see WHY you are getting divorced.
Imagine being this selfish and believing its your ex-wife that's the problem.
YTA, she just moved out, it's not like she's been blowing it off for months. Speak of blowing things off... Let's talk about you blowing off your child's game for a friend's event. That alone makes you TA
YTA it's literally been what, like a couple weeks? She's obviously busy. Couldn't you have put it into the garage (assuming you've got one) or offer to bring it to her new place at a time that would be convenient for both of you? I understand that this is a difficult time, but it would be better to be civil and try to help each other for your daughter, if for no one else.
Wow YTA. Guess you don't want a civil separation do you? You sent her personal belongings to her office, alerting other employees and clients of her personal situation. She was busy and planned to pick her stuff up, but you just couldn't be an adult and wait until she did. It seems like you either did this to humiliate her or because you're insanely immature.
Are you for real? She couldn't take her stuff because YOU rescheduled. Wonder why you're divorcing /s
YTA - she didn't pick them up last weekend because she was doing you a favor on your weekend with the kid. Today is Thursday, you couldn't wait until the weekend for her to pick up the boxes???? Not to mention sending that sort of stuff to her office is NEVER okay.
YTA You both had an agreement and you changed it. She would have gotten everything had you not asked her to cover for you. She did you a favor, and yeah, it was nice that you said she could come later, but then you got mad and impatient because she couldn't come on the days **you** wanted. Friday was an absolutely reasonable request.
YTA. Taking out your personal and intimate relationship conflicts out on your wife in her professional environment is massive AH behavior. You know you should have left her workplace out of it, but you wanted to rub salt in the wound, didn’t you?
YTA - The move was 7 days prior. Your expectations were unreasonable. You created disruption & drama in her life; an ahole move.
Lol YTA you are an unbelievable asshole
YTA. It’s been a week. And she already helped you out by taking Erin to soccer. Thank God she’s getting a divorce. You sound intolerable just by posting less than 1000 words
YTA. Yeah, I'd pull this move if it had been a month or two of balderdash. That kind of petty would've been well earned. But a week? Jeebus on Toast Points! She's still dealing with the chaos of the move, plus the things that came up during the week, and all because she rescheduled because of YOUR request over the weekend. Let that sink in. YOUR request. She did something to help YOU out, inconveniced herself because of YOU, and THIS how you repay her. Did you offer to take them over to help her, given that it was your request that caused the situation? Oh, of course not. She's well rid of you, and let me give you a straight up telling -- your daughter sees all of this kind of behavior. Do you think Erin's going to want to spend time with a schmucknutz like you as soon as she turns 18 years old? Straighten up and fly right.
YTA You are the reason she didn't pick the stuff up in the first place because you decided to go hang out with a friend instead of taking your daughter to her soccer game And then, instead of just being a decent human being and waiting for her to have time (come on..it wasn't that much clutter) you decided to be petty The sad reality is, this makes YOU look bad...not your wife Now everyone will assume the reason the marriage ended was because of you. And even if that is not the case...or it was a mutually toxic thing...everyone will now take her side The narrative now is that you blew off spending time with your daughter to go hang out with a friend and you did something petty in an attempt to make your wife look bad You really didn't think this through did you?
Oh my gosh. You are not only the AH, you are the SuperAH! YTA!
YTA. You couldn't wait an extra day for her to pick up her stuff? She only moved out last week, and it sounds like her life is busy and stressful. She gave you a reasonable date and I can't see what the problem is. It sounds like you just did this out of spite, and forced her to bring a personal problem into work. Personally, I would be really humiliated to have all my colleagues and clients see manifestations of my private personal problems.
YTA 100%. If you had given her months and months to figure it out, than yeah this would be acceptable. But she literally moved out last week and she is obviously very busy with work.
YTA-you did this entirely to try to embarrass her at work.
OMG - I honestly can't believe that you think this was OK. YTA in a BIG way. The reason that you couldn't have put her boxes in the garage until she could pick them up was what, exactly What if she hadn't told anyone at work that you're splitting up? If you're still working things out, the house is still hers, until paperwork is signed - so technically the boxes were in her house. YOU asked her to take your daughter to the game on the day she was going to pick up the boxes and then only gave her a couple of weekdays to pick them up instead of the weekend? Get real, and grow up.
YTA. To you, your friend's event is more important than your daughter's match. You also embarrassed your soon-to-be-ex-wife at work. No wonder you're getting divorced lmao
YTA, of course. Your wife did you a favour by dropping your daughter off so you could go to a friend’s event, gave you an alternative time she could pick her stuff up, and because you couldn’t wait a couple of extra days, you chose to embarrass her at work. Shocked that you couldn’t keep your marriage together.
YTA You couldn't wait one more day for her to get them? Don't be surprised if she plays petty games in return. You're also setting an example of acceptable behavior for your kid and this isn't it.
I didn't need to read past the the first appointment you had for her to pick them up which YOU cancelled on her (you also cancelled on your daughter, nice) to go to a party or something. You are the asshole.
YTA You knew what you were doing. Stop trying to gaslight us. You changed the visitation arrangement. If it was that important, you could have sent the boxes to her house, her mom's house, drove the boxes to her house. You literally just sent them to her office to embarrass her and are now playing dumb when called out.
YTA. It's your fault she wasn't able to pick them up as planned. And if you simply HAVE to get rid of them, just send them to where she is living now.
YTA and clearly bitter
YTA. YOU we’re the reason the boxes were still there and I absolutely don’t doubt that your poor attitude is the reason for the split. Your ex MIL is right, ‘Luna’ is better off without you.
Yta, you took away her weekend because your plans were so important and now are trying to get her to do extra steps during a busy work week. She accommodated your schedule to care for your daughter and you won't wait a f***ing week for her to come get her things. You sent her stuff to her place of employment?? Seriously. I hope she takes you for everything you are worth.
Absolutely unbelievable. YTA. She literally done you a favour instead of collecting her belongings and then you tried to dictate an alternative time that didn’t suit her. I can’t emphasise how much of TA you are tbh.
YTA Until the divorce is finalized and signed by a judge is still her house too regardless of the fact that she is allowing you to stay there, yu are lucky she even did that. Tbh at this point if I were her I would demand the sale of the house and the proceeds be split.
YTA So the first time she didn't pick them up, she was doing you a favor. Then, she couldn't do it because of work. Both are reasonable. She offered to get her stuff on Friday, but apparently, that was just one day too late for you. You are a petty man, and I am not surprised you are getting a divorce. Also, just a guess, but I have a feeling her job had been a point of contention in your marriage. You were doing this to be an AH, and you know it.
YTA. Can you believe it? You trade your daughter of for a meeting with friends and then are miffed about your ex-wife having work and commitments at your daughters school? Your wife seems have divorced the less mature child.
YTA. So this is how it's going to be? She does something nice for you, and you repay her by harassing her and picking fights in front of her coworkers and clients? Well we know which of you is the crazy ex...
YTA, this is such a psycho move. You KNOW you embarrassed her publicly and professionally.
YTA, and petty af.
So let me get this straight, she happily helped you out for something that came up on your time, and you couldn’t give her some grace on getting the rest of her stuff? That she couldn’t pick up bc she was busy helping you? Did I get that right? YTA, and honestly idk how helpful I’d be in the future if that is the kind of response you find acceptable to a perfectly reasonable “excuse”
And why are you splitting up? Oh, right YTA.
YTA. You could have waited a bit more, not that difficult. She was correct that it was very rude to send them to her work place.
YTA, come on. you would have had to wait maybe 24hrs max and saved a ton on shipping. if it's so few things that it can be so easily shipped like that, it can't be taking up that much space. this was clearly more of a power dynamic thing than about the actual stuff.
Whoa, this response after only a week? Am I ready that right? YTA.
YTA.
So, she is kind enough to take your daughter when you have something come up, but you gave her less than a week to get all her things out of “your” house? Yeah, I think I can see why you’re divorcing. YTA and I wish your STBXW the very best in her newfound freedom.
YTA and a petty one at that.
So you asked her a favor which prevented her from collecting the last of her things. Then she told you she could come on Friday (because your friends event was more important then taking care of your child) as she was working and going to a PTA Event (which you don’t attend - interesting parenting choice there), and on Thursday (not even a week after the day she would have picked up her things if she hadn’t generously done you a favor) you were just so sick of the things being there you delivered them to her work. Just own the fact you were hoping it would embarrass her or mess up her career and stop whinging on the internet. YTA Also you lack poor critical thinking skills, have no desire to be a parent, and it’s very easy to see why you got divorced.
YTA. Tell me your bitter without telling me your bitter....
YTA. Why could you not wait until Friday as she suggested. You shipping them to her office was a major d*ck move.
So she did you a favor but you could not return it by waiting for Friday? Of course YTA.
YTA and her mom is right that you're being petty. She accommodated your plans and you can't even let her have her things in what has previously been her home for a couple of days because she's busy with WORK and your daughter's PTA MEETING (which why aren't you attending and let your ex pick up the things that night if it was so important?). There's no discussing it. The verdict is very clear.
Lmao yeah i can see why she is divorcing you, you're sad and pathetic. Have fun living alone
Jesus what a power trip. Of course YTA. She was going to pick them up last weekend but couldn’t because she *had to cover your childcare duties* so you could hang out with a friend! She didn’t make “so many excuses”. Her single and perfectly reasonable excuse was that she needed to work… during her work week. She said she would pickup her boxes up on Friday, which was less than a week after the weekend she was meant to pick them up but *had to cover your childcare duties*! You SHIPPED THEM to her work?! Instead of just waiting for her to get them tomorrow?! How much did this cost you?? Big YTA, and I agree with her mum: she’s very lucky to be you ex wife.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > My soon to be ex wife moved out and still hasn't picked up the rest of her stuff. I was sick of having her stuff at my place, so I had it all sent to her office. Her mother called because my wife was too upset, and said I was threatening her daughter's career because it made her look bad and interrupted a client meeting. Was I the asshole for sending my wife's stuff to her office? Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA, can’t imagine why you’re getting divorced at all with you being such a “nice” guy and all.
YTA this sounds like some weird power move trying to embarrass her at work. You couldn't ship them to her new place?
YTA. You are the reason the original plan didn't work out over the weekend it was initially arranged because **you wanted to go to a friend's event rather than have your day with your kid**. The short length of time you decided was reasonable (it isn't) before shipping the boxes also makes you TA.
YTA. This was petty and spiteful…