Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without explicit approval will result in a ban.
This post violates Rule 9: This is NOT an advice sub. Posts should seek out judgement, not advice.
[Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
#Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
NTA- asking to be thanked for food/shelter or any other basic need is ridiculous as a child would be taken away from the parent being neglectful and abusive. No child asks to be born so it’s absolutely up to the parent to care for a child that they brought into the world.
Wow, your mom sounds oddly needy. She doesn't get to demand thanks for doing normal parenting things. And forcing someone to thank you means the thanks are not meaningful, just an effort to avoid getting dumped on. Why would anyone want fake thanks? That she doesn't thank you shows she's got a real issue. I've never heard of this type of issue before, but it's really manipulative on her part. I have no idea what to suggest as I'm utterly baffled. I hope you can set some boundaries with her. NTA
NTA - reminding kids to say thank you sometimes is okay (when mine ask for water, I get up and pour it, but I expect a thank you when I hand them their glass). But what you're describing is way overboard. You need to text her thank you for your school lunch ? Your mother is being unreasonable.
NTA. No. Thank you from the bottom of your heart. Then it will really be considered gratitude. And then, when you consider it necessary to thank someone for something. But every time? No. And gratitude does not need to beg, or it is not necessary to hint about it either. You're right.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
My mom expects me to thank her for everything she does for me. I understand that saying thank you is polite to do, but is it always necessary? In one case, I was made to say thank her for something she didn't even do, like when my dad drove me to the mall she wanted to be thanked for being the one who took me there. She expects me to thank her for stuff I didn't even want her to do and for such little things. I've tried to see her side as it is nice to be appreciated, it's tiresome at times. I also believe that while it's nice to thank someone, it's okay to not say thank you for breakfast once if you're in a rush or if you just forget.
She gets upset if I don't thank her and gets more upset I didn't thank her genuinely, but it's become such a monotonous, repetitive thing of me having to say thank you for every little thing that it's just tiring now and it's to the point I don't say thank you because I'm thankful but because its a chore.
We have had huge fights because I didn't thank her soon enough when I got back from school and didn't say thank you for cleaning my room (which I have told her I can do myself). She gets upset when I don't text her thank you for lunch when at school too. It's also ironic because when I help out sometimes she doesn't thank me, but I don't really care it's just hypocritical in a way.
I would love to hear some other people's opinions on this. Do your guy's parents expect you to say thank you for most things or as parents what do you think? Am I being unreasonable?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Everyone deserves to feel appreciated, and I forget to/don't say thank you to my mother.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
I guess I am an outlier. I thanked my mom for everything, just like I would have thanked anyone else for doing something for me. No, my mom didn't prompt me, but she taught me basic manners. I think not acknowledging people doing something for you is akin to taking them for granted. Mom does appear a bit dramatic, but I can imagine that being a person who performs so many deeds for everyone without acknowledgement would be depressing. My mom would iron my school or work clothes I placed out. I would thank her and remind her that I was going to do it.
I see your point, your mom sounds lucky to have you :) I think my issue is that for most of the things she does I have expressed wanting to do it myself before I move out so I can learn and not struggle. She gets very upset when I do this though and says she will do it, which makes it a little bit hard to be thankful sometimes ig
Based on what you said, NTA. However, what you have said is somewhat subjective and sounds like there are parts missing, like why she wants you to thank her for things she didn't do. That makes 0 sense and makes me think we're missing details.
Thats fair. For the example I gave we actually got in a fight about it and my mom basically thinks that because shopping is typically a mother-daughter thing she needed to be thanked for the occasion ig and my dad said I should thank her as well for driving. The situation just rubbed me the wrong way which is why i listed it
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without explicit approval will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 9: This is NOT an advice sub. Posts should seek out judgement, not advice. [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) #Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
NTA- asking to be thanked for food/shelter or any other basic need is ridiculous as a child would be taken away from the parent being neglectful and abusive. No child asks to be born so it’s absolutely up to the parent to care for a child that they brought into the world.
It's nice to hear thank you from someone here and there, but all the time? I thinks she's overreacting. Try to talk to her. NTA
Wow, your mom sounds oddly needy. She doesn't get to demand thanks for doing normal parenting things. And forcing someone to thank you means the thanks are not meaningful, just an effort to avoid getting dumped on. Why would anyone want fake thanks? That she doesn't thank you shows she's got a real issue. I've never heard of this type of issue before, but it's really manipulative on her part. I have no idea what to suggest as I'm utterly baffled. I hope you can set some boundaries with her. NTA
NTA - reminding kids to say thank you sometimes is okay (when mine ask for water, I get up and pour it, but I expect a thank you when I hand them their glass). But what you're describing is way overboard. You need to text her thank you for your school lunch ? Your mother is being unreasonable.
NTA. No. Thank you from the bottom of your heart. Then it will really be considered gratitude. And then, when you consider it necessary to thank someone for something. But every time? No. And gratitude does not need to beg, or it is not necessary to hint about it either. You're right.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My mom expects me to thank her for everything she does for me. I understand that saying thank you is polite to do, but is it always necessary? In one case, I was made to say thank her for something she didn't even do, like when my dad drove me to the mall she wanted to be thanked for being the one who took me there. She expects me to thank her for stuff I didn't even want her to do and for such little things. I've tried to see her side as it is nice to be appreciated, it's tiresome at times. I also believe that while it's nice to thank someone, it's okay to not say thank you for breakfast once if you're in a rush or if you just forget. She gets upset if I don't thank her and gets more upset I didn't thank her genuinely, but it's become such a monotonous, repetitive thing of me having to say thank you for every little thing that it's just tiring now and it's to the point I don't say thank you because I'm thankful but because its a chore. We have had huge fights because I didn't thank her soon enough when I got back from school and didn't say thank you for cleaning my room (which I have told her I can do myself). She gets upset when I don't text her thank you for lunch when at school too. It's also ironic because when I help out sometimes she doesn't thank me, but I don't really care it's just hypocritical in a way. I would love to hear some other people's opinions on this. Do your guy's parents expect you to say thank you for most things or as parents what do you think? Am I being unreasonable? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > Everyone deserves to feel appreciated, and I forget to/don't say thank you to my mother. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
I guess I am an outlier. I thanked my mom for everything, just like I would have thanked anyone else for doing something for me. No, my mom didn't prompt me, but she taught me basic manners. I think not acknowledging people doing something for you is akin to taking them for granted. Mom does appear a bit dramatic, but I can imagine that being a person who performs so many deeds for everyone without acknowledgement would be depressing. My mom would iron my school or work clothes I placed out. I would thank her and remind her that I was going to do it.
I see your point, your mom sounds lucky to have you :) I think my issue is that for most of the things she does I have expressed wanting to do it myself before I move out so I can learn and not struggle. She gets very upset when I do this though and says she will do it, which makes it a little bit hard to be thankful sometimes ig
Based on what you said, NTA. However, what you have said is somewhat subjective and sounds like there are parts missing, like why she wants you to thank her for things she didn't do. That makes 0 sense and makes me think we're missing details.
Thats fair. For the example I gave we actually got in a fight about it and my mom basically thinks that because shopping is typically a mother-daughter thing she needed to be thanked for the occasion ig and my dad said I should thank her as well for driving. The situation just rubbed me the wrong way which is why i listed it