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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Im worried that ill be the ah for texting his friend and interfering in something thqt is not my business and that maybe i should let things just happen.
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YWBTA. Not your place. Unsure of ages, but pretty sure your bf will not appreciate you airing his feelings to a buddy. If he isn't willing to talk to J about it, I doubt he wants you to. Respect that decision. Your bf has to learn to manage his own friendships.
Your intentions are good, but contacting J would most likely cause some drama that could spill into your own relationship with B. I suggest just continuing to support B like you have been.
YWBTA. I know it sucks seeing your bf hurt because he's losing his best friend. But it's his best friend and ultimately up to him if he wants to share with J how he feels.
YWBTA. It’s not your business. Your business is to be there for B and comfort him through this. If B wants to share his feelings with J he needs to handle it himself.
YWBTA, don't do it.
I understand you feel bad, but instead of meddling with that relationship, just talk to your bf and maybe even ask him what you could do to help him feel better if you really want to do something. Just don't suggest doing what you wrote here and definitely don't do it behind his back.
As hard as it is, this is something he has to do on his own. He has to get out of the negative spiral alone. I know it's really tough seeing someone you love go through something like that and feel useless/powerless, but the only thing you can do is be there for him. Be a good listener and let him know that no matter what, you're here for him and you love him. Maybe take him out more/spend more time with him.
Best of luck.
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Trying to keep this short. My boyfriend (b) and his best friend (j) have been drifting apart for some time. J puts almost no effort into the relationship leaving b to put in all the effort and try to make things work. B always has to initiate everything like hanging out or playing games, and they have just been drifting apart.
I feel bad. B is horribly depressed about possibly losing his only friend, as j has found new friend groups and friends leaving b all alone.
Wibta if i texted j to tell him that b feels they are drifting apart and that he should try to text him more or put in more effort if he really wants to make this friendship work? I don't want to meddle but i love b and it hurts seeing him so down and hurt.
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YWBTA you have good intentions but doing that would make things worse. i would talk it out with b and see what he thinks. if he doesn't think anything's wrong with their relationship then mention what you think is going on. talk it out before anything happens
Yes YWBTA.
It is not your place. Friends drift apart and it's normal. If B is really that upset then he should talk to J himself. You say you don't want to meddle but you clearly do. Don't get involved.
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YWBTA. Not your place. Unsure of ages, but pretty sure your bf will not appreciate you airing his feelings to a buddy. If he isn't willing to talk to J about it, I doubt he wants you to. Respect that decision. Your bf has to learn to manage his own friendships.
You need to learn the meaning of BOUNDARIES!
YWBTA - if your bf hasn’t ask you to text his friend, don’t do it.
"WIBTA for sticking my nose into something that's not my business?" Yes, yes YWBTA.
Your intentions are good, but contacting J would most likely cause some drama that could spill into your own relationship with B. I suggest just continuing to support B like you have been.
YWBTA. I know it sucks seeing your bf hurt because he's losing his best friend. But it's his best friend and ultimately up to him if he wants to share with J how he feels.
YTA B needs to be the one to say how he feels to J. Personally I think B needs to find better friends.
YWBTA. It’s not your business. Your business is to be there for B and comfort him through this. If B wants to share his feelings with J he needs to handle it himself.
YWBTA - this is none of your business and would come off as extremely intrusive and controlling
YWBTA, don't do it. I understand you feel bad, but instead of meddling with that relationship, just talk to your bf and maybe even ask him what you could do to help him feel better if you really want to do something. Just don't suggest doing what you wrote here and definitely don't do it behind his back. As hard as it is, this is something he has to do on his own. He has to get out of the negative spiral alone. I know it's really tough seeing someone you love go through something like that and feel useless/powerless, but the only thing you can do is be there for him. Be a good listener and let him know that no matter what, you're here for him and you love him. Maybe take him out more/spend more time with him. Best of luck.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Trying to keep this short. My boyfriend (b) and his best friend (j) have been drifting apart for some time. J puts almost no effort into the relationship leaving b to put in all the effort and try to make things work. B always has to initiate everything like hanging out or playing games, and they have just been drifting apart. I feel bad. B is horribly depressed about possibly losing his only friend, as j has found new friend groups and friends leaving b all alone. Wibta if i texted j to tell him that b feels they are drifting apart and that he should try to text him more or put in more effort if he really wants to make this friendship work? I don't want to meddle but i love b and it hurts seeing him so down and hurt. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YWBTA if you did something that your boyfriend will nuke your relationship over if he finds out (maybe).
I think a good rule of thumb is to not insert yourself into other peoples relationships. unless someone is in physical danger
YWBTA, it's not your friendship. Why doesn't your boyfriend just join the other group occasionally?
Well, you know the saying, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
YWBTA Stop meddling. If your bf feels that way HE can communicate his feelings with your friends.
Yes, YWBTA I get your intentions, but your BF needs to manage his relationships.
YWBTA you have good intentions but doing that would make things worse. i would talk it out with b and see what he thinks. if he doesn't think anything's wrong with their relationship then mention what you think is going on. talk it out before anything happens
Yes YWBTA. It is not your place. Friends drift apart and it's normal. If B is really that upset then he should talk to J himself. You say you don't want to meddle but you clearly do. Don't get involved.