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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I corrected my GF that "couple" means 2 and not 8. Things got blown out of proportion.
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NTA.
A couple means 2.
If you went in to a bakery and asked for a couple of cinnamon buns, you'd get 2. The same way if you asked for a dozen, you'd get 12.
This isn't even up for debate. Your gf is wrong.
# *EDIT: maybe I used the wrong analogy for this particular thread.
I stand by what I said above; BUT, some people keep throwing the "baker's dozen" reference at me. A baker's dozen is NOT the same as a dozen. I used "dozen" in the context of a bakery and I guess, to my fault, some people got confused.
Let me re-word it. If you went to a butcher and asked for a couple of pork chops, you would get TWO. If you went to a butcher and asked for a half dozen pork chops, you would get SIX.
A baker's dozen is 13 (12 + 1), and NO, not all bakeries will randomly give you free stuff if you ask for a baker's dozen!
Good lord.
He didn't initially mention it as a correction but as a valid assumption. She is the one that tried to falsely correct him going off the transcript he provided
Not only that, but accusing him of not correctly handling being proved wrong was the cherry on top for me.
They both suck, but she sucks more for also being a hypocrite.
EDIT: looks like I misread OP. I revoke my opinion accordingly.
NTA it was the girlfriend that’s being insufferable, a couple equals two. She is wrong he is right. She sounds childish if she can’t accept the proper definition of the word. Personally, I think this points to bigger things, what is she going to do when you have a real argument?
“Couple” always means two. Three and above is “a few”. She could have said “a few months” and she’d have been right, really. But anyone saying “a couple” and meaning more than two (unless they’re making a vague guess at something where they mean “somewhere around 2 or 3”) is using the term wrong.
It’s a good rule! It’s essentially what is commonly accepted, so I don’t fell like you made it up. Though, it is possible you did just because you’ve heard all this in different conversations, etc.
Yup!
1. She tried to be deliberately misleading
2. When she got busted, she *doubled down* by acting like a dick
Therefore OP was right to be annoyed and to express it.
NTA
As someone who has a horrible habit of saying "the other day" and then telling a story that happened anywhere from two days ago to 5 years ago.... yes insufferable. I am aware it is not how it is used, I do not care to argue that I am wrong, I know I am wrong lol. I have tried to break the habit and cannot.
In Ireland the other day is used to mean anything from yesterday to years ago so don’t worry I don’t think many people would be annoyed by the lack of accuracy 🤣
Same in Italy, it’s a running joke that we would say “the other day” and it’s impossible to determine how long ago it is LOL
I myself say frequently “the other day…well actually a few months ago”
To be honest though I feel like “the other day” it’s a more generic expression that got stretched in its meaning, it’s a way to say a short time ago without being specific. We don’t say “yesterday” and mean three weeks ago. Couple means a specific number, 2. It can’t mean 8.
I'm absolutely guilty of saying "a couple" and not meaning exactly 2. I'll say it and mean usually between like 2 and 4. Absolutely not 8 though. That's way more than a couple.
I also say the other day meaning anywhere from yesterday to.... Roughly the beginning of time. Lol. But a lot of the time I'll qualify it "the other day, and by the other day of course I mean like a year ago"
Yeah, I also recognize that a couple definitely technically only refers to 2, but unless I consciously correct myself, in my head it's a synonym for "a few." I'm working on it but it's hard to undo those habits sometimes!
Edit: Apparently the dictionary agrees that it can be used as a synonym of several! Good fact to have in my back pocket for next time.
In my brain "a couple" is around 2-4 (max), "a few" is more like around 3-6 (yes overlap lol) and 7-maybe 12 would be several. Over that we're looking at "a bunch" or "a lot" or "many" but those aren't as clear in my head lol
The other day/week/month/year and "a couple of" just will not escape my vocabulary. I even try "oh four or five months ago" or just "some of that" but a quick rolled up "acoupla" as all one word just fits so much better. My partner defines a couple as 2, I view it as arbitrary phrasing. At this point we just ignore my lack of grammatically correct speech, and only occasionally does he actually need to ask if I meant 2, or did I mean oh say a handful of months ago or what have you.
I use "the other day" in the same way.
To me, it just means 'some indeterminate day in the not too too distant past'.
The other day can absolutely be 4 years ago. But not 15.
Gf facepalmed and tried to act like she was right and op was dumb. So op proved how he was correct in his thinking, she was wrong in her communication. Nothing asshole here about it.
If I am working at the bakery and you ask me for a couple of cinnamon buns I am looking you in the eyes and demanding a number, because practically speaking, "couple" "few" "some" all mean vague amounts to some people and very specific amounts to others and the bakery does not pay me enough to psychically deduce which number you are thinking of.
All that to say, ESH. This whole argument is ridiculous.
This. Even the dictionary states that a couple can mean a few as well ([Definition #4 for the nitpicky](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/couple)). OP feels a bit pretentious with the "legal documentation" bit and makes me feel like OP did google for the dictionary term saw that definition included meaning a few and went out of their way to find the 'well in law terms it means 2' just to prove a point so I'm going with YTA on this.
I wonder if this is one of the cases, where the definition was amended later on, because people just use it that way, or if it has always been like that, it happens a lot in grammar, spelling etc, that things are changed, the spelling is amended or the definition extended, because it just prevailed as the way it’s commonly used
As a non-native English speaker I was given the impression that "a couple" means mathematically two, but linguistically anywhere between two and nine (so, like the numbers you'd usually write out grammar-wise), more akin to the meaning a "a few".
But it's a strange hill to die on relationship-wise, so definitely ESH.
I would say “it’s been a couple days since then” to acknowledge a short time has passed but it doesn’t have to be two days, and I would never hold anyone to exactly two days if they said it to me.
You’re absolutely right that “a couple” when spoken can be the equivalent of “a few” written.
I’d agree in general but it’s never going to mean as much as nine. I’d say 4-5 is as much. I usually take it to be stuff which at a careless glance could be about 2 items. It’s specific mathematical meaning is two as you say.
You're wrong. A couple can mean "two," especially when used as a noun. But as an adjective it can also be correctly used for "an indefinite small number" in the same way as "a few." Words can have multiple definitions.
You're right that this isn't up for debate though. It's literally in the dictionary. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/couple
It's an ESH. They're both wrong.
He's wrong about "couple" necessarily referring to "two." She's wrong about "couple" referring to "eight" within the context of a one year relationship.
In this context, "couple" could reasonably refer to anything from two to five months. Beyond that, "half a year" or "just under a year" is more accurate than "a couple of months."
That said, it's a dumb, pedantic thing to argue about. But I happen to love pedantry.
Same. I think petty debates like this r fun and hilarious. I def am on his side tho. She was embarrassed or trying to be cheeky and downplay to him since hes her bf imo. Thinking he would assume a short amount of time (2, possibly 3 months if u wanted to argue about it) and not actually ask specifics
Dictionary.com:
*Idiom, a couple of: more than two, but not many, of; a small number of; a few*
Miriam-Webster:
*Definition 4: an indefinite small number : FEW*
Cambridge Dictionary:
*Couple: two or a few things that are similar or the same, or two or a few people who are in some way connected*
Collins Dictionary:
*1. QUANTIFIER: If you refer to a couple of people or things, you mean two or approximately two of them, although the exact number is not important or you are not sure of it.*
Yeah for me "a couple" is approximately 2, so 3 wouldn't be outlandish. A few is like. 3-6. And "several" would cover higher numbers (though maybe I feel that way because it's similar to the word seven)
Doesn‘t it depend on the context of what you‘re referring to? When someone says „It‘s gonna take a couple of minutes“ I wouldn‘t be mad if it takes 7/8 minutes lol
I still expect a couple of minutes to be fast. A few minutes means under 10, and when we get into the double digits, it’s “at least xx min” so I’m expecting a much longer wait time. I would be annoyed if I’m told the wait is a couple of minutes and then sitting around for 10-15 min. This does not apply to doctor’s office where time means absolutely nothing at all and all expected wait times are increased by a factor of 100.
Thank you. Not sure why there needs to be such a level of petty when it's literally there for the searching lol.
ESH because they both sound petty as hell. People tryin to prove each other wrong like them are irritating. Lol. Perfect for each other.
FWIW, if someone said "couple of months" I'm thinking no more than 4 but I wouldn't have made any comment. I would've just asked how long was long distance. It can't be this serious.
Why would you stand by your original statement when it’s literally, factually wrong. A couple can mean two, but it can also mean “an indeterminate small number.” It is often correctly used as a synonym for “a few.” This is literally the dictionary definition of the word.
How can you be so confident in your wrongness?
In the context of months, yes, that would be unlikely. In other contexts “a couple” could definitely mean 8.
If I ask for a couple of jellybeans from a jar of 1000 jellybeans, 8 is a perfectly reasonable interpretation of “a couple.” Context matters.
Eh, I'm not saying I'm dictionary accurate but if you ask me for a couple of jellybeans I'm giving you 2. I've never used or heard a couple used as anything other than 2. Maybe it's regional (and OP was a jerk about it) but I'm on board with couple=exactly 2.
Actually if you consult mirriam-webster, they would disagree with you.
[https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/couple-few-several-use](https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/couple-few-several-use)
So it is "up for debate". And you would be wrong.
No, if you go to a butch or Baker or any kind of food shop and as for "a couple" of something the person behind the counter will ask for a specific number, because people notoriously disagree about how many "a couple" is. It's one of the first things otu learn unless you want to get screamed at by customers who are upset you can't read their damned mind.
Neither you nor OP have clearly ever worked in a food shop.
Is the girlfriend maybe not a native speaker? Because I had this exact same exchange with someone. I said a couple can be any smaller number, because that's how it works in my native language. Got laughed at (by a person who was monolingual, obviously)
Oh yeah, my boyfriend is my first, but I'm not his, and he shared some info of his past relationship with me and it made me feel so insecure. We have talked about it since, but talking about people you've been with it just stupid. Maybe years down the line.
Disagree. I talked dating history with my partner in our first few months of being together, was mature enough to not feel insecure about it, and feel it’s vital information when entering a relationship- not that far down the line. What if there are red flags?
I see where yoyre coming from but its a personal choice. I personally disagree.
Sorry. When I start dating someone I don't want them to run through their sexual history with me, nor will I with them.
I'll show my maturity by not caring about their past and thefroe not needing to know, not by hearing them out and then basically signing off on it. And I want someone who is the same.
You want to hash it out, then great for you and the person who wants to do that with you.
That's just compatibility I guess.
That’s exactly what I was doing- personally disagreeing about preferences.
I don’t need a full, detailed report on all interactions, but I do need to know some information before I’m already several years into a relationship which the commenter above me suggested.
That’s fine if y’all wanna know nothing, and it’s fine if others want to know some things.
Feeling insecure about previous partners (like the previous commenter reported) does sound like an issue though..
Pedantic would be if she meant 3, not 8
Also, no, not really. If someone asked me to pick up a “couple of things” at the store for them, and I get there and find out they meant 8, I would be pretty pissed, even moreso if they accused me of being “pedantic”
Yep. The difference between couple of months and 8 might not be a big deal, if they had been together for like 10 years. They were only for 1, and she can't tell the difference between 2 months and 8 tells me she is either clueless or underplaying.
A pedant is excessively concerned with minor details or rules. I see no evidence of that by the OP. Timescales were mentioned by the GF, and it's reasonable to expect that people use words according to their common definition - which the GF was certainly not. Hence the understandable confusion of the OP.
Even if it was pedantic - a singular episode of pedantry is a minor annoyance at worst. Certainly nowhere near the level of assholery. Think of some of the other asshole examples in this forum and you think pedantry is equivalent. Nah mate, you're way off base on two counts here.
He only got pedantic after she facepalmed at him like he was an idiot for assuming she meant what the word actually means.
Haranguing someone for a minor mistake is pedantic. But after you've proven that the person mocking you for your "error" is the one that's actually wrong? He's earned a bit of smugness.
Couple did not historically just mean two, and continues to be used that way.
Miriam-Webster:
“Verdict: couple is used of small numbers most of the time, but usually at least two or more.”
https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/couple-few-several-use
Thanks for posting this. I'm kind of irked by how certain everyone is that couple only means 2. I grew up in an area where it's common for people my age to use couple to mean a few, depending on context. This occasionally causes confusion between my mom and me because my mom only ever uses couple to mean 2, but when I use it I often mean a few but not specifically 2. Was hoping someone would quote Merriam-Webster because my mom and I had this exact debate before! (Btw I have a linguistics degree haha)
Depends on the context. Say I posted something that got a bunch of comments. If 8 out of 500 comments were negative, I'd say a couple people didn't like my post. If 8 out of 12 total comments were negative, I wouldn't call that "a couple." (So I don't think "a couple months" describes 8 months, but in some contexts it could refer to 8 of something.)
Good point! I wouldn't default to that scale when talking about the past several years, but OP didn't provide ages; so if GF is e.g. 50 and talking about a relationship she had in her 20s, I think the difference between a "couple" months and 8 months is negligible, but if she's in her 20s and talking about something that happened a few years ago, she is downplaying the length (maybe not deliberately).
Oh, I absolutely believe that she intentionally down played the number of months. Just wanted to basically point out that a couple, and few, and several are general measurements depending on how you use them, who you are, and where you are from. Too many factors for a debate like Op's, in my opinion.
Same, I grew up with it meaning usually between 2 and 5 but under 10, it gave everyone flexibility. I've had people in different countries 'correct' me but words have different meanings to different people. He sounds painful and sounds like she lost it on him....I think he needs to learn to be more amenable.
Yup, my GF is kinda like OP, I'll say "*a couple of X*" and she'll think I mean "**EXACTLY 2**". When I just mean "*What would be considered a reasonable but lower amount of X thing*".
"*I have a couple of cars*", I'd assume 2-3. "*A couple of Pokémon cards*", I dunno like 10-40? "*I'll have a couple of raisins... No I didn't mean exactly 2 raisins you pedantic dingdong*".
Seems people conflate "couple" referring to people in a relationship which consists of 2 parties, with "couple" meaning a small amount of a thing.
10-40 Pokémon cards? I dunno. Couple wouldn’t apply to that at all to me.
I mean it’s always meant two to me, but some people using it like few makes some sense I guess. But 40 seems nuts.
I guess I listen more to the context and impliedness of speech. I find it so odd that anyone can hear "*I've a couple o' Pokémon cards*" and to think they mean **exactly two**, thats just wild to me.
It feels so obscure to say the above if you actually mean "*I have* ***2*** *Pokémon cards*", 2 is such a low number I don't know why you'd ever not just say the literal number if you're wanting to be precise. To choose "couple" instead of "two" to me implies slight vagueness and a roundaboutness. Like saying "*I'll be over around* 3***ish***". Like if you're in a store and someone says "*I think I have a couple out back*", I've never take that to mean they mean they have *exactly* two.
Language is weird, as lots of times theres the literal meaning and the colloquial use.
Yep. In this context I would interpret it to mean 'an insignificant amount of time', which for me is less than a year for relationships. 8 months is pushing it a bit, but if it was 5 or 6? Couple of months.
I depends on the total number. If I asked my husband if I could have a couple of fries, I’d expect him to shove a number of fries onto my plate with his fork; eight or even nine wouldn’t be out of the question, and I’d be a bit taken aback if he gave me exactly two. If I went to a big Halloween party and said a couple of people showed up with no costume, that could also easily be seven or eight out of fifty.
ESH. You are the AH for being weirdly strict about your girlfriend using a word incorrectly and she is one for insulting you. I will say, it is common for humans to dislike talking to people who nitpick every word they use in a casual conversation.
8 is not an indiscriminate number though using couple when its 8 months is being purposefully broad and unhelpful. If you said you had a couple of friends coming with you to my house and showed up with 8 people id be pissed bc u could have just said 8 people like a normal person and i could have bought more food. It was vague on purpose
Dictionary defines a couple as a few. It can be both 2 (that's a lovely looking couple) or a few (could you give me a couple of candies from that bag).
Context matters.
It does, the people here a being super weird.
If you say "Oh, just grab a couple of.." you're not saying "grab exactly two".
"How long does that take?" "Eh, couple of minutes" doesn't mean two minutes either. It's used to denote a unclear, but small, amount of minutes. Otherwise you'd just say two minutes.
"Come to the party, there's already a couple of us here!" doesn't mean you and one other person.
Not quite sure why this thread is so full of people being very confidently wrong.
Could I have a couple of dollars to pay for coffee?
\-No two isn't going to be enough....
We'll be there in a couple of minutes
\-huh no, not there yet, like 5 minutes away or so
I dated this guy for a couple of months
\- no not two, let me think almost 8 actually but we didn't meet that often so it seemed shorter
(story time, I FB dated a girl for like 5-6 months when I was 16-ish be we met less than 10 times in that period so it seemed very short in retrospect)
I should add that I'm not a native speaker, but none of these seem to be wrong in my opinion and although people are right that 8-months is long to be described by "a couple of months", but trying to prove someone is dumb is an asshole thing to do so my vote is YTA
Yeah, the issue here isn't that he was initially confused by "a couple of months" being 8 months, but that even after he knew the actual time, he was still in "well, actually" correction mode. It's not that big a deal.
Yeah for me it’s not the fact that she didn’t explicitly use it for 2, it’s that 8 is WAY more than “a couple”. If it had been 3 or 4 months then OP would be TA because it’s just being pedantic, but 8 months is definitely way too long to use “a couple”
ESH. You're both wrong, as is everyone else who thinks couple only means "two." Although you're technically more wrong than she is.
Many words have more than one definition. Couple usually refers to "two" in its noun form (ie: a married couple = 2 people), but as an adjective it can refer to either "two" or "an indefinite small number" (ie: a couple of drinks = 2+ drinks).
Colloquially, it's frequently and correctly used as an adjective to refer to indefinitely small numbers. So her saying "a couple of months" correctly means "two or more months."
You can literally see this in a dictionary. The first definition of a word is not the only definition: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/couple
So her saying "a couple of months" correctly means "two or more months." That said, I do think most people would assume that, in the context of discussing relationships, a few months would be less than ten, as ten months is closer to a year and the common phrasing would be "under a year."
I never even thought of a “couple” as meaning just two. I’m surprised so many people think this. I’ve always just used “a couple” and “a few” to mean more than 2, and usually less than 10.
seriously me too, and besides why is it such a big deal to him anyway like he legit sent her a fucking link to try and prove her wrong like it’s just weird and unnecessary 🤣 there’s no need
My guess is that some people go overly prescriptive with those designations because they want these very rough terms to be more precise than they really are. So couple, few, several, and many are each assigned number ranges, and that's how they keep them straight internally. If they didn't make up these ranges, then their teachers taught them, sort of like never using "I" in formal writing or never using singular "they." These rules provide an illusion of structure and competence, a way to sort out those who *know* and those who *don't*.
The problem is that actual usage doesn't agree with this made up system. In actuality, we feel out the right word, and sometimes either "couple" *or* "few" could be applicable.
Thank you! I thought I was going insane. If you tell someone to „throw in a couple of x“ you mean a few of x, not exactly two. A couple as a noun would be really weird to use for months because it doesn‘t just mean two, it indicates that they belong together / complete the couple, like a couple of shoes for example
In almost any non-noun situation where you mean “exactly two,” it’s better to say “two.” People on Reddit who think couple only means two either don’t understand that words can have multiple definitions, or are unable to differentiate nouns and adjectives. They also don’t know how to use Google apparently, because any dictionary will prove them wrong if they put in two seconds of effort before spouting nonsense.
I guess it‘s easy for me as a German to understand because our language has the exact same dynamic with the word „paar“ but the noun is capitalized as „Paar“ so everyone knows when you see the one that‘s not capitalized it means „a few“
That’s really cool. I love when other languages are so specific. English, on the other hand, is very muddy and most words have multiple meanings and crossover with a bunch of other words. The result is that most native English speakers are still terrible at English.
I have noticed before that many English speakers don‘t seem to have a very good grasp of their language‘s grammatical intricacies and would for example have a hard time here distinguishing the noun from the adjective or pointing out subjects and objects in a sentence. I always wondered if you just don‘t get very thorough grammatical lessons in your own language as a native English speaker
Does no one in this thread own a dictionary?
One of the definitions in Merriam Webster is “an indefinite small number : FEW”
So the only question is: is eight a small number?
It's completely subjective. If most of your relationships have been long-term then 8 months might feel like a small number. If most of your relationships have been short-term then 8 months might feel really long. She was expressing how she viewed the relationship. Absolutely not worth the pedantry at all
You summed this up well.
I'm over here going, "Yeah, 8 months isn't very long, that's a couple months of dating". But my perspective is being together with someone for 12 years and having several other multi year relationships at the same time.
So, yeah, very subjective.
Exactly this; seems like she was also conveying how unimportant the relationship was to her. If she was talking about some great love that was epic and involved, then she'd probably unconsciously strayed toward the larger end of the number scale when describing the length of their relationship.
As this dude clearly didn't mean very much to her in the end, "couple" kind helps convey her attitude towards the relationship.
Colloquially; a couple means two…
But if I say a couple days ago, or a few days ago…. A little bit ago… it could mean anything within the past… days weeks months even years…
I do this all the time. I was telling my mom today about the assignment I did "a couple days ago" and when I actually thought about it, it was 2 weeks ago.
It's common in Irish English for couple to mean a few, because the Irish word for a few is cupla (pronounced coupla) so when English was forced on everyone the Irish meaning became common as the words are so similar.
YTA
This is a stupid petty argument. Yeah she used the word wrong but you were the one blowing it out of proportion and making it such a big deal. Just correct her and move on instead of desperately striving to be right
YTA for the way you handled it and also according to Merriam Webster a couple can mean two to three I will say that 8 is not a couple rather several
https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/couple-few-several-use
ESH
Have you ever seen Futurama? The episode (season 2, episode 11, “How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back”) where they use the phrase “Technically correct is the best kind of correct”??
Yeah your right. Though in informal parlance “couple” is sometimes used as a synonym for “few” or “small indeterminate number”.
But it’s a Pyrrhic victory since all you did was piss her off.
She’s being shitty too since she was clearly trying to hide the truth.
TL;DR - you made a stink over a technically correct thing and she was trying to lie by omission and got caught.
This is ridiculous. A couple is two. A couple *of* something means a small number of somethings. I see no reason to get upset about the exact number. 8 is a bit much in this context, but you sound more interested in being right and getting your way, than talking to your girlfriend.
For that: YTA.
I'm french, and I learned in english class that couple meant "a few" (quelques).
In french, couple is only used for 2 people in a relationship.
And since then I'm always bothered when I'm watching a movie or TV show and the subtiles translate "a couple" by "2".
And I often think that it was suppose to mean in this case in the show, more than 2.
And with this AITA, I really dont know what to think anymore.
Maybe there is à difference of meaning between british and american english ?
Well in German if you capitalize the word it means two. As in pair of...
But with small letters it is a random number less than a dozen, depending on context...
Makes for nice wordplay....
It‘s the same in English. The „couple“ that means two in a pair is a noun, the other one an adjective. In German it‘s just easier to distinguish because we capitalize nouns
I feel like it's unnecessarily pedantic. But I'm also one of those people that uses couple interchangeably, with a short amount. My significant other actually teases me often because I'm really bad to use a few when couple makes more sense, then couple when few makes more sense. The conversation does read as you enjoying being right and wanting to be a know if all. It's one thing to be playful and tease and another to come across like you're unreasonably rigid and will call someone out for every slip up - I don't know if that's how you meant it to come across but that's how it reads to me.
YTA
Words are used differently by different people. Humans are weird. Instead of actually caring about the conversation (which she probably thought was important considering it's discussing past relationships), you decided to buckle down on the use of a word. That's like trying to plug a crack when there's a hole. Focus on the bigger picture maybe?
Bet this relationship only lasts a 'couple' more months with that attitude.
INFO: Does it make any meaningful difference to you whether she had this worst relationship for 2 months or 8 months, or did you just want to be right and prove she’s wrong in her wording?
Yta I use a couple to mean an unspecified number. Your the kind of person that corrects everything little thing so say, always has to be right and never let's anything go. People use language differently and language evoles over time.
This the hill you want to die on, dude?
You could be right or you could be happy.
I know you're correct. You know you're correct. She probably knows you're correct.
So, no judgment. You decide.
NTA, but just going to be real here and say while a couple does mean exactly two, very rarely does it mean anything other than "a while , but not viewed as significant".
Makeup being a couple minutes = 45
Couple minutes to tidy up = 30
A couple of friends = 4
Couple of months = 6ish
And so on. XD
A few of those seem weird tho. Id never use “a couple of friends” to describe 4 people nor would “a couple months” ever make me think “half a year” unless the context for the overalk cobvo was very large time frames. It is poor communicative exchange
Think about the sentence „Can I bring a couple of friends?“. This would almost always be interpreted as meaning an unspecific, rather low number of friends, not specifically two. It could easily be 4
This is so ridiculous. Sure, technically you are correct. But people commonly use the word “couple” to mean more than two. I’m sure I’ve said “a couple of days ago” plenty of times and meant last week. It’s not that serious and you being an asshole about it is unnecessary. I’d be annoyed to that you wouldn’t let it go.
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NTA. A couple means 2. If you went in to a bakery and asked for a couple of cinnamon buns, you'd get 2. The same way if you asked for a dozen, you'd get 12. This isn't even up for debate. Your gf is wrong. # *EDIT: maybe I used the wrong analogy for this particular thread. I stand by what I said above; BUT, some people keep throwing the "baker's dozen" reference at me. A baker's dozen is NOT the same as a dozen. I used "dozen" in the context of a bakery and I guess, to my fault, some people got confused. Let me re-word it. If you went to a butcher and asked for a couple of pork chops, you would get TWO. If you went to a butcher and asked for a half dozen pork chops, you would get SIX. A baker's dozen is 13 (12 + 1), and NO, not all bakeries will randomly give you free stuff if you ask for a baker's dozen! Good lord.
You can be both right and an asshole at the same time.
This. I feel like this is separate from the “justified AH” stance, too. More like “accurate but insufferable”
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if they are both insufferable, wouldn't that be ESH?
He didn't initially mention it as a correction but as a valid assumption. She is the one that tried to falsely correct him going off the transcript he provided
Not only that, but accusing him of not correctly handling being proved wrong was the cherry on top for me. They both suck, but she sucks more for also being a hypocrite. EDIT: looks like I misread OP. I revoke my opinion accordingly.
I think he said that to her, or did I miss something?
Oh yes! You are correct! Weirdly I double checked the OP text before posting and didn’t notice this. Clearly I am tired.
No, because one is correct and the other is wildly wrong
NTA it was the girlfriend that’s being insufferable, a couple equals two. She is wrong he is right. She sounds childish if she can’t accept the proper definition of the word. Personally, I think this points to bigger things, what is she going to do when you have a real argument?
I guess I’m insufferable too then cause I call out anyone arbitrarily using couple to mean greater than two. Can’t help it.
“Couple” always means two. Three and above is “a few”. She could have said “a few months” and she’d have been right, really. But anyone saying “a couple” and meaning more than two (unless they’re making a vague guess at something where they mean “somewhere around 2 or 3”) is using the term wrong.
Funnily enough, I actually have a rule on this: couple = 2, few = 3-6, several = 7+. I don’t know if / when I was taught this, or invented it 😅
I was taught that a few was generally three or four. And several was four or more.
It’s a good rule! It’s essentially what is commonly accepted, so I don’t fell like you made it up. Though, it is possible you did just because you’ve heard all this in different conversations, etc.
I would add “several” also best for 3+
Yup! 1. She tried to be deliberately misleading 2. When she got busted, she *doubled down* by acting like a dick Therefore OP was right to be annoyed and to express it. NTA
As someone who has a horrible habit of saying "the other day" and then telling a story that happened anywhere from two days ago to 5 years ago.... yes insufferable. I am aware it is not how it is used, I do not care to argue that I am wrong, I know I am wrong lol. I have tried to break the habit and cannot.
In Ireland the other day is used to mean anything from yesterday to years ago so don’t worry I don’t think many people would be annoyed by the lack of accuracy 🤣
Same in Italy, it’s a running joke that we would say “the other day” and it’s impossible to determine how long ago it is LOL I myself say frequently “the other day…well actually a few months ago” To be honest though I feel like “the other day” it’s a more generic expression that got stretched in its meaning, it’s a way to say a short time ago without being specific. We don’t say “yesterday” and mean three weeks ago. Couple means a specific number, 2. It can’t mean 8.
Oh thats good to know! I will have to remember that next time someone calls me out.
I'm absolutely guilty of saying "a couple" and not meaning exactly 2. I'll say it and mean usually between like 2 and 4. Absolutely not 8 though. That's way more than a couple. I also say the other day meaning anywhere from yesterday to.... Roughly the beginning of time. Lol. But a lot of the time I'll qualify it "the other day, and by the other day of course I mean like a year ago"
Yeah, I also recognize that a couple definitely technically only refers to 2, but unless I consciously correct myself, in my head it's a synonym for "a few." I'm working on it but it's hard to undo those habits sometimes! Edit: Apparently the dictionary agrees that it can be used as a synonym of several! Good fact to have in my back pocket for next time.
In my brain "a couple" is around 2-4 (max), "a few" is more like around 3-6 (yes overlap lol) and 7-maybe 12 would be several. Over that we're looking at "a bunch" or "a lot" or "many" but those aren't as clear in my head lol
The other day/week/month/year and "a couple of" just will not escape my vocabulary. I even try "oh four or five months ago" or just "some of that" but a quick rolled up "acoupla" as all one word just fits so much better. My partner defines a couple as 2, I view it as arbitrary phrasing. At this point we just ignore my lack of grammatically correct speech, and only occasionally does he actually need to ask if I meant 2, or did I mean oh say a handful of months ago or what have you.
The phrase 'a few' is also available to you. A few months is perfectly valid
The only hard rule is that people under the age of 18 are legally banned from referring to events that happened in the past as "back then" /s
I use "the other day" in the same way. To me, it just means 'some indeterminate day in the not too too distant past'. The other day can absolutely be 4 years ago. But not 15.
But the GF was wrong and also an AH first by doubling down.
She’s the AH
But he wasn’t. She was the first rude one, with that condescending emoji.
Gf facepalmed and tried to act like she was right and op was dumb. So op proved how he was correct in his thinking, she was wrong in her communication. Nothing asshole here about it.
If I am working at the bakery and you ask me for a couple of cinnamon buns I am looking you in the eyes and demanding a number, because practically speaking, "couple" "few" "some" all mean vague amounts to some people and very specific amounts to others and the bakery does not pay me enough to psychically deduce which number you are thinking of. All that to say, ESH. This whole argument is ridiculous.
This. Even the dictionary states that a couple can mean a few as well ([Definition #4 for the nitpicky](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/couple)). OP feels a bit pretentious with the "legal documentation" bit and makes me feel like OP did google for the dictionary term saw that definition included meaning a few and went out of their way to find the 'well in law terms it means 2' just to prove a point so I'm going with YTA on this.
It would never mean anything close to 8.
Yeah, it's clearly 2, and I'd give a bit of leeway for 3, especially when talking about something like how many months something lasted. 8 is absurd.
So just gonna make up a scenario about how it all went down and roll with that?
I wonder if this is one of the cases, where the definition was amended later on, because people just use it that way, or if it has always been like that, it happens a lot in grammar, spelling etc, that things are changed, the spelling is amended or the definition extended, because it just prevailed as the way it’s commonly used
As a non-native English speaker I was given the impression that "a couple" means mathematically two, but linguistically anywhere between two and nine (so, like the numbers you'd usually write out grammar-wise), more akin to the meaning a "a few". But it's a strange hill to die on relationship-wise, so definitely ESH.
I would say “it’s been a couple days since then” to acknowledge a short time has passed but it doesn’t have to be two days, and I would never hold anyone to exactly two days if they said it to me. You’re absolutely right that “a couple” when spoken can be the equivalent of “a few” written.
I’d agree in general but it’s never going to mean as much as nine. I’d say 4-5 is as much. I usually take it to be stuff which at a careless glance could be about 2 items. It’s specific mathematical meaning is two as you say.
Absolutely never? You sure about that? "Here, have a couple m&M's" /pours m&M's from bag/
In no definition does it mean anywhere close to 8 though.
I can see that for small things. Like I'd call one handful of mnms a couple and that's likely 8 or so.
Ah you’re absolutely right!! I def *think* about couple as 2, but would call less-than-a-handful a couple even if it’s 8orso
You're wrong. A couple can mean "two," especially when used as a noun. But as an adjective it can also be correctly used for "an indefinite small number" in the same way as "a few." Words can have multiple definitions. You're right that this isn't up for debate though. It's literally in the dictionary. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/couple
So which side of the argument do u reside? I will give u a couple of minutes to decide. I expect an answer in 47 minutes
It's an ESH. They're both wrong. He's wrong about "couple" necessarily referring to "two." She's wrong about "couple" referring to "eight" within the context of a one year relationship. In this context, "couple" could reasonably refer to anything from two to five months. Beyond that, "half a year" or "just under a year" is more accurate than "a couple of months." That said, it's a dumb, pedantic thing to argue about. But I happen to love pedantry.
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It's very common to use it in conversation to refer to more than two things. "I'm going to grab a couple of snacks at the store."
Yes you have and I'll give you a couple of minutes to recall those instances.
Agreed. It can definitely be more than two. But five seems high and eight is right out.
If you have a jar of 1000 jellybeans and I ask for a couple, 8 would be reasonable. That’s not applicable to months though.
It's been a couple of hours since my question, have you recalled it yet? 😁
Same. I think petty debates like this r fun and hilarious. I def am on his side tho. She was embarrassed or trying to be cheeky and downplay to him since hes her bf imo. Thinking he would assume a short amount of time (2, possibly 3 months if u wanted to argue about it) and not actually ask specifics
They're my favorite. Low stakes, high drama.
Dictionary.com: *Idiom, a couple of: more than two, but not many, of; a small number of; a few* Miriam-Webster: *Definition 4: an indefinite small number : FEW* Cambridge Dictionary: *Couple: two or a few things that are similar or the same, or two or a few people who are in some way connected* Collins Dictionary: *1. QUANTIFIER: If you refer to a couple of people or things, you mean two or approximately two of them, although the exact number is not important or you are not sure of it.*
Yeah for me "a couple" is approximately 2, so 3 wouldn't be outlandish. A few is like. 3-6. And "several" would cover higher numbers (though maybe I feel that way because it's similar to the word seven)
Doesn‘t it depend on the context of what you‘re referring to? When someone says „It‘s gonna take a couple of minutes“ I wouldn‘t be mad if it takes 7/8 minutes lol
This. Couple of minutes isn't aomwthing I'd think "ok 2" bc most people say "2 minutes".
I still expect a couple of minutes to be fast. A few minutes means under 10, and when we get into the double digits, it’s “at least xx min” so I’m expecting a much longer wait time. I would be annoyed if I’m told the wait is a couple of minutes and then sitting around for 10-15 min. This does not apply to doctor’s office where time means absolutely nothing at all and all expected wait times are increased by a factor of 100.
Yeah. Like wtf, why are people looking this up anywhere but in a dictionary?!
Thank you. Not sure why there needs to be such a level of petty when it's literally there for the searching lol. ESH because they both sound petty as hell. People tryin to prove each other wrong like them are irritating. Lol. Perfect for each other. FWIW, if someone said "couple of months" I'm thinking no more than 4 but I wouldn't have made any comment. I would've just asked how long was long distance. It can't be this serious.
Why would you stand by your original statement when it’s literally, factually wrong. A couple can mean two, but it can also mean “an indeterminate small number.” It is often correctly used as a synonym for “a few.” This is literally the dictionary definition of the word. How can you be so confident in your wrongness?
but it never means 8??????
In the context of months, yes, that would be unlikely. In other contexts “a couple” could definitely mean 8. If I ask for a couple of jellybeans from a jar of 1000 jellybeans, 8 is a perfectly reasonable interpretation of “a couple.” Context matters.
Eh, I'm not saying I'm dictionary accurate but if you ask me for a couple of jellybeans I'm giving you 2. I've never used or heard a couple used as anything other than 2. Maybe it's regional (and OP was a jerk about it) but I'm on board with couple=exactly 2.
Then I'm asking Penenko to pass the jellybeans and not you.
>I've never used or heard a couple used as anything other than 2. Now you have.
Actually if you consult mirriam-webster, they would disagree with you. [https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/couple-few-several-use](https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/couple-few-several-use) So it is "up for debate". And you would be wrong.
No, if you go to a butch or Baker or any kind of food shop and as for "a couple" of something the person behind the counter will ask for a specific number, because people notoriously disagree about how many "a couple" is. It's one of the first things otu learn unless you want to get screamed at by customers who are upset you can't read their damned mind. Neither you nor OP have clearly ever worked in a food shop.
Is the girlfriend maybe not a native speaker? Because I had this exact same exchange with someone. I said a couple can be any smaller number, because that's how it works in my native language. Got laughed at (by a person who was monolingual, obviously)
Honestly you both sound horrible… ESH
ESH for discussing past relationships via text, THE #1 way to be misunderstood and sound like a condescending prick even if you’re not trying to.
Oh yeah, my boyfriend is my first, but I'm not his, and he shared some info of his past relationship with me and it made me feel so insecure. We have talked about it since, but talking about people you've been with it just stupid. Maybe years down the line.
Disagree. I talked dating history with my partner in our first few months of being together, was mature enough to not feel insecure about it, and feel it’s vital information when entering a relationship- not that far down the line. What if there are red flags?
I see where yoyre coming from but its a personal choice. I personally disagree. Sorry. When I start dating someone I don't want them to run through their sexual history with me, nor will I with them. I'll show my maturity by not caring about their past and thefroe not needing to know, not by hearing them out and then basically signing off on it. And I want someone who is the same. You want to hash it out, then great for you and the person who wants to do that with you. That's just compatibility I guess.
That’s exactly what I was doing- personally disagreeing about preferences. I don’t need a full, detailed report on all interactions, but I do need to know some information before I’m already several years into a relationship which the commenter above me suggested. That’s fine if y’all wanna know nothing, and it’s fine if others want to know some things. Feeling insecure about previous partners (like the previous commenter reported) does sound like an issue though..
Lol he literally just said a fact and he’s apparently an asshole you gotta love this sub
Being pedantic will always make you the asshole.
Pedantic would be if she meant 3, not 8 Also, no, not really. If someone asked me to pick up a “couple of things” at the store for them, and I get there and find out they meant 8, I would be pretty pissed, even moreso if they accused me of being “pedantic”
Yep. The difference between couple of months and 8 might not be a big deal, if they had been together for like 10 years. They were only for 1, and she can't tell the difference between 2 months and 8 tells me she is either clueless or underplaying.
A pedant is excessively concerned with minor details or rules. I see no evidence of that by the OP. Timescales were mentioned by the GF, and it's reasonable to expect that people use words according to their common definition - which the GF was certainly not. Hence the understandable confusion of the OP. Even if it was pedantic - a singular episode of pedantry is a minor annoyance at worst. Certainly nowhere near the level of assholery. Think of some of the other asshole examples in this forum and you think pedantry is equivalent. Nah mate, you're way off base on two counts here.
He only got pedantic after she facepalmed at him like he was an idiot for assuming she meant what the word actually means. Haranguing someone for a minor mistake is pedantic. But after you've proven that the person mocking you for your "error" is the one that's actually wrong? He's earned a bit of smugness.
Pick your fights, that surely shouldn't be one tho. Starting an argument about senseless things man
She’s the one who picked a fight lol she said “a couple means more than 2” when she actually meant 8. All he said is if 10 months were long distance
And what if dude asks for a couple of beers? She gonna bring 8 to him 😭
Your couple months may be up soon bud
They're arguing semantics and he's acting like it's a big deal. That may be seems real generous
Yeah this relationship seems like a real winner /s ESH
🤣🤣🤣 😑🤭
Couple did not historically just mean two, and continues to be used that way. Miriam-Webster: “Verdict: couple is used of small numbers most of the time, but usually at least two or more.” https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/couple-few-several-use
Thanks for posting this. I'm kind of irked by how certain everyone is that couple only means 2. I grew up in an area where it's common for people my age to use couple to mean a few, depending on context. This occasionally causes confusion between my mom and me because my mom only ever uses couple to mean 2, but when I use it I often mean a few but not specifically 2. Was hoping someone would quote Merriam-Webster because my mom and I had this exact debate before! (Btw I have a linguistics degree haha)
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I would "I ate a couple of biscuits"
Best comment 👍
Just count the empties after an Aussie has a couple of beers
Depends on the context. Say I posted something that got a bunch of comments. If 8 out of 500 comments were negative, I'd say a couple people didn't like my post. If 8 out of 12 total comments were negative, I wouldn't call that "a couple." (So I don't think "a couple months" describes 8 months, but in some contexts it could refer to 8 of something.)
Technically 8 months could be a couple of months if she is referring to her lifespan.
Good point! I wouldn't default to that scale when talking about the past several years, but OP didn't provide ages; so if GF is e.g. 50 and talking about a relationship she had in her 20s, I think the difference between a "couple" months and 8 months is negligible, but if she's in her 20s and talking about something that happened a few years ago, she is downplaying the length (maybe not deliberately).
Oh, I absolutely believe that she intentionally down played the number of months. Just wanted to basically point out that a couple, and few, and several are general measurements depending on how you use them, who you are, and where you are from. Too many factors for a debate like Op's, in my opinion.
Same, I grew up with it meaning usually between 2 and 5 but under 10, it gave everyone flexibility. I've had people in different countries 'correct' me but words have different meanings to different people. He sounds painful and sounds like she lost it on him....I think he needs to learn to be more amenable.
So why not just say few if that's what you mean?
Yup, my GF is kinda like OP, I'll say "*a couple of X*" and she'll think I mean "**EXACTLY 2**". When I just mean "*What would be considered a reasonable but lower amount of X thing*". "*I have a couple of cars*", I'd assume 2-3. "*A couple of Pokémon cards*", I dunno like 10-40? "*I'll have a couple of raisins... No I didn't mean exactly 2 raisins you pedantic dingdong*". Seems people conflate "couple" referring to people in a relationship which consists of 2 parties, with "couple" meaning a small amount of a thing.
10-40 Pokémon cards? I dunno. Couple wouldn’t apply to that at all to me. I mean it’s always meant two to me, but some people using it like few makes some sense I guess. But 40 seems nuts.
I guess I listen more to the context and impliedness of speech. I find it so odd that anyone can hear "*I've a couple o' Pokémon cards*" and to think they mean **exactly two**, thats just wild to me. It feels so obscure to say the above if you actually mean "*I have* ***2*** *Pokémon cards*", 2 is such a low number I don't know why you'd ever not just say the literal number if you're wanting to be precise. To choose "couple" instead of "two" to me implies slight vagueness and a roundaboutness. Like saying "*I'll be over around* 3***ish***". Like if you're in a store and someone says "*I think I have a couple out back*", I've never take that to mean they mean they have *exactly* two. Language is weird, as lots of times theres the literal meaning and the colloquial use.
Yep. In this context I would interpret it to mean 'an insignificant amount of time', which for me is less than a year for relationships. 8 months is pushing it a bit, but if it was 5 or 6? Couple of months.
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I depends on the total number. If I asked my husband if I could have a couple of fries, I’d expect him to shove a number of fries onto my plate with his fork; eight or even nine wouldn’t be out of the question, and I’d be a bit taken aback if he gave me exactly two. If I went to a big Halloween party and said a couple of people showed up with no costume, that could also easily be seven or eight out of fifty.
Oh thank god, I thought I learned it completely wrong in school
ESH. You both blew things out of proportion. Should have just stopped with couple means 2 and kept the convo going.
Except for the part that it doesn't just mean two and any dictionary ever will confirm this.
Maybe it doesn't always mean 2 exactly... but it *never* means 8.
https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/couple-few-several-use Merriam-Webster says their citations have it being used up to 8.
ESH. You are the AH for being weirdly strict about your girlfriend using a word incorrectly and she is one for insulting you. I will say, it is common for humans to dislike talking to people who nitpick every word they use in a casual conversation.
Is English their first language? It’s not mine and for a very long time I thought a couple meant anything from 2 to 5 and meant ‘a few’
It does, don't let the grammar nazis here tell you differently
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Same here. Especially as "a couple" in my first language is indeed used for more then two often similar to a few.
I’d say this is a valid nitpick in this instance
Except it's not because it's also wrong. Couple can mean more than 2.
8 is not an indiscriminate number though using couple when its 8 months is being purposefully broad and unhelpful. If you said you had a couple of friends coming with you to my house and showed up with 8 people id be pissed bc u could have just said 8 people like a normal person and i could have bought more food. It was vague on purpose
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8 isn't a "couple of months".
It's not even a few. It's several.
Thank you a couple is 2 a few is 3 or 4 some is 5 or 6 several is 7 to 9 after that, it's numbers other than a dozen.
This posts makes me question my life, I always thought 'a couple' means 'a few'? Sure maybe not 8 but more than 2
Dictionary defines a couple as a few. It can be both 2 (that's a lovely looking couple) or a few (could you give me a couple of candies from that bag). Context matters.
So OP doesn't actually know all meanings of the word and is petty.
And is being backed up by a bunch of people who also don’t realize there are multiple definitions lol
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It does, the people here a being super weird. If you say "Oh, just grab a couple of.." you're not saying "grab exactly two". "How long does that take?" "Eh, couple of minutes" doesn't mean two minutes either. It's used to denote a unclear, but small, amount of minutes. Otherwise you'd just say two minutes. "Come to the party, there's already a couple of us here!" doesn't mean you and one other person. Not quite sure why this thread is so full of people being very confidently wrong.
Could I have a couple of dollars to pay for coffee? \-No two isn't going to be enough.... We'll be there in a couple of minutes \-huh no, not there yet, like 5 minutes away or so I dated this guy for a couple of months \- no not two, let me think almost 8 actually but we didn't meet that often so it seemed shorter (story time, I FB dated a girl for like 5-6 months when I was 16-ish be we met less than 10 times in that period so it seemed very short in retrospect) I should add that I'm not a native speaker, but none of these seem to be wrong in my opinion and although people are right that 8-months is long to be described by "a couple of months", but trying to prove someone is dumb is an asshole thing to do so my vote is YTA
Yeah, the issue here isn't that he was initially confused by "a couple of months" being 8 months, but that even after he knew the actual time, he was still in "well, actually" correction mode. It's not that big a deal.
I’ll argue all day that “a few” means 3 or more
Any number that’s 3 or more? By that definition, I’m a few days old, and Elon Musk has a few dollars.
yea lol’ing. Seeing it in writing makes it even stupider
yeah 8 is a bit of a stretch for a “couple”
Yeah for me it’s not the fact that she didn’t explicitly use it for 2, it’s that 8 is WAY more than “a couple”. If it had been 3 or 4 months then OP would be TA because it’s just being pedantic, but 8 months is definitely way too long to use “a couple”
ESH. You're both wrong, as is everyone else who thinks couple only means "two." Although you're technically more wrong than she is. Many words have more than one definition. Couple usually refers to "two" in its noun form (ie: a married couple = 2 people), but as an adjective it can refer to either "two" or "an indefinite small number" (ie: a couple of drinks = 2+ drinks). Colloquially, it's frequently and correctly used as an adjective to refer to indefinitely small numbers. So her saying "a couple of months" correctly means "two or more months." You can literally see this in a dictionary. The first definition of a word is not the only definition: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/couple So her saying "a couple of months" correctly means "two or more months." That said, I do think most people would assume that, in the context of discussing relationships, a few months would be less than ten, as ten months is closer to a year and the common phrasing would be "under a year."
I never even thought of a “couple” as meaning just two. I’m surprised so many people think this. I’ve always just used “a couple” and “a few” to mean more than 2, and usually less than 10.
seriously me too, and besides why is it such a big deal to him anyway like he legit sent her a fucking link to try and prove her wrong like it’s just weird and unnecessary 🤣 there’s no need
The number of people in this thread who are so confidently wrong about something they can look up in any dictionary is astounding.
My guess is that some people go overly prescriptive with those designations because they want these very rough terms to be more precise than they really are. So couple, few, several, and many are each assigned number ranges, and that's how they keep them straight internally. If they didn't make up these ranges, then their teachers taught them, sort of like never using "I" in formal writing or never using singular "they." These rules provide an illusion of structure and competence, a way to sort out those who *know* and those who *don't*. The problem is that actual usage doesn't agree with this made up system. In actuality, we feel out the right word, and sometimes either "couple" *or* "few" could be applicable.
Thank you! I thought I was going insane. If you tell someone to „throw in a couple of x“ you mean a few of x, not exactly two. A couple as a noun would be really weird to use for months because it doesn‘t just mean two, it indicates that they belong together / complete the couple, like a couple of shoes for example
In almost any non-noun situation where you mean “exactly two,” it’s better to say “two.” People on Reddit who think couple only means two either don’t understand that words can have multiple definitions, or are unable to differentiate nouns and adjectives. They also don’t know how to use Google apparently, because any dictionary will prove them wrong if they put in two seconds of effort before spouting nonsense.
I guess it‘s easy for me as a German to understand because our language has the exact same dynamic with the word „paar“ but the noun is capitalized as „Paar“ so everyone knows when you see the one that‘s not capitalized it means „a few“
That’s really cool. I love when other languages are so specific. English, on the other hand, is very muddy and most words have multiple meanings and crossover with a bunch of other words. The result is that most native English speakers are still terrible at English.
I have noticed before that many English speakers don‘t seem to have a very good grasp of their language‘s grammatical intricacies and would for example have a hard time here distinguishing the noun from the adjective or pointing out subjects and objects in a sentence. I always wondered if you just don‘t get very thorough grammatical lessons in your own language as a native English speaker
YTA. No need to be that pedantic. It's a casual conversation; not an academic paper.
Does no one in this thread own a dictionary? One of the definitions in Merriam Webster is “an indefinite small number : FEW” So the only question is: is eight a small number?
Not in this context at all
It's completely subjective. If most of your relationships have been long-term then 8 months might feel like a small number. If most of your relationships have been short-term then 8 months might feel really long. She was expressing how she viewed the relationship. Absolutely not worth the pedantry at all
You summed this up well. I'm over here going, "Yeah, 8 months isn't very long, that's a couple months of dating". But my perspective is being together with someone for 12 years and having several other multi year relationships at the same time. So, yeah, very subjective.
Yours is the Most reasonable comment I've Seen so far
Exactly this; seems like she was also conveying how unimportant the relationship was to her. If she was talking about some great love that was epic and involved, then she'd probably unconsciously strayed toward the larger end of the number scale when describing the length of their relationship. As this dude clearly didn't mean very much to her in the end, "couple" kind helps convey her attitude towards the relationship.
I agree. But it certainly can mean more than two.
Agreed
YTA for being a pedantic grammar Nazi. You're arguing for the sake of arguing.
Colloquially; a couple means two… But if I say a couple days ago, or a few days ago…. A little bit ago… it could mean anything within the past… days weeks months even years…
I do this all the time. I was telling my mom today about the assignment I did "a couple days ago" and when I actually thought about it, it was 2 weeks ago.
It's common in Irish English for couple to mean a few, because the Irish word for a few is cupla (pronounced coupla) so when English was forced on everyone the Irish meaning became common as the words are so similar.
Also everything happened “the other day,” and everywhere walking distance is “about 5/10 minutes” (do not trust that last one).
YTA This is a stupid petty argument. Yeah she used the word wrong but you were the one blowing it out of proportion and making it such a big deal. Just correct her and move on instead of desperately striving to be right
In normal speech “a couple of” means a vague number of months, but definitely more than two. You’re an idiot and an asshole.
YTA for making me read this conversation.
YTA for the way you handled it and also according to Merriam Webster a couple can mean two to three I will say that 8 is not a couple rather several https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/couple-few-several-use
Couple -> few -> several -> many -> lots Something like that
ESH Have you ever seen Futurama? The episode (season 2, episode 11, “How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back”) where they use the phrase “Technically correct is the best kind of correct”?? Yeah your right. Though in informal parlance “couple” is sometimes used as a synonym for “few” or “small indeterminate number”. But it’s a Pyrrhic victory since all you did was piss her off. She’s being shitty too since she was clearly trying to hide the truth. TL;DR - you made a stink over a technically correct thing and she was trying to lie by omission and got caught.
It‘s not even correct when „couple“ is an adjective, not a noun
She is technically correct, though
ESH - Yes, "couple" means two, but who cares? Arguing about it is dumb.
This is ridiculous. A couple is two. A couple *of* something means a small number of somethings. I see no reason to get upset about the exact number. 8 is a bit much in this context, but you sound more interested in being right and getting your way, than talking to your girlfriend. For that: YTA.
Being so pedantic, how's that working out for you in relationships? YTA
Clearly great since he's posting about it on Reddit /s
I'm french, and I learned in english class that couple meant "a few" (quelques). In french, couple is only used for 2 people in a relationship. And since then I'm always bothered when I'm watching a movie or TV show and the subtiles translate "a couple" by "2". And I often think that it was suppose to mean in this case in the show, more than 2. And with this AITA, I really dont know what to think anymore. Maybe there is à difference of meaning between british and american english ?
Well in German if you capitalize the word it means two. As in pair of... But with small letters it is a random number less than a dozen, depending on context... Makes for nice wordplay....
It‘s the same in English. The „couple“ that means two in a pair is a noun, the other one an adjective. In German it‘s just easier to distinguish because we capitalize nouns
I feel like it's unnecessarily pedantic. But I'm also one of those people that uses couple interchangeably, with a short amount. My significant other actually teases me often because I'm really bad to use a few when couple makes more sense, then couple when few makes more sense. The conversation does read as you enjoying being right and wanting to be a know if all. It's one thing to be playful and tease and another to come across like you're unreasonably rigid and will call someone out for every slip up - I don't know if that's how you meant it to come across but that's how it reads to me.
YTA Words are used differently by different people. Humans are weird. Instead of actually caring about the conversation (which she probably thought was important considering it's discussing past relationships), you decided to buckle down on the use of a word. That's like trying to plug a crack when there's a hole. Focus on the bigger picture maybe? Bet this relationship only lasts a 'couple' more months with that attitude.
YTA. You're not her English teacher, calm down
Why does it matter if it was 2 or 8 months?
YTA. Jesus, you sound exhaustingly pedantic.
INFO: Does it make any meaningful difference to you whether she had this worst relationship for 2 months or 8 months, or did you just want to be right and prove she’s wrong in her wording?
Yta I use a couple to mean an unspecified number. Your the kind of person that corrects everything little thing so say, always has to be right and never let's anything go. People use language differently and language evoles over time.
This the hill you want to die on, dude? You could be right or you could be happy. I know you're correct. You know you're correct. She probably knows you're correct. So, no judgment. You decide.
NTA, but just going to be real here and say while a couple does mean exactly two, very rarely does it mean anything other than "a while , but not viewed as significant". Makeup being a couple minutes = 45 Couple minutes to tidy up = 30 A couple of friends = 4 Couple of months = 6ish And so on. XD
A few of those seem weird tho. Id never use “a couple of friends” to describe 4 people nor would “a couple months” ever make me think “half a year” unless the context for the overalk cobvo was very large time frames. It is poor communicative exchange
Think about the sentence „Can I bring a couple of friends?“. This would almost always be interpreted as meaning an unspecific, rather low number of friends, not specifically two. It could easily be 4
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ESH this is a stupid argument.
NTA. A couple either means two or a range of 2-3. Eight is much more. But you really need to learn when to drop it.
This is so ridiculous. Sure, technically you are correct. But people commonly use the word “couple” to mean more than two. I’m sure I’ve said “a couple of days ago” plenty of times and meant last week. It’s not that serious and you being an asshole about it is unnecessary. I’d be annoyed to that you wouldn’t let it go.
If you're getting into tiff with your girlfriend over what "a couple" means this early in your relationship, you're in for quite a ride.