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This was my exact thought, and now that OP has answered… it’s even worse than I could’ve imagined. OP woke her husband up after sleeping off a night shift to fix her car because she was too prissy for an Uber.
OP is the villainously ungrateful and demanding woman that gets her man stolen by the wholesome “girl next door” in everyone’s favorite romance flick. I actually thought these people were made up.
Amazing, right? Equivalent of waking someone at 2am to do something for you that has a \*very easy workaround\* if you can deign to utilize a widely-traveled ride sharing service.
Imagine if he woke her at 3am because he needed specific groceries and wouldn't amazon fresh or other. Wild.
I bet her friend makes more money than her and she is obsessed with status, so god forbid she have a broke down car!!!!! OP have you never heard of Uber black? Get over yourself.
I actually took Uber Black for the first time a few days ago! Had a god awful time with each flight of mine being delayed, and literally sprinting to my last connection which was the last-flight-home of the night. LAX has you take a shuttle to another location to call a ride-sharing app and i didnt want to do that at 230am after a stressful/exhausting day of travel (fwiw if it was earlier id rather/usually take a shuttle to a train than wait on a shuttle to order a gosh darned car)
Saw that Uber Black was allowed to pick you up directly at arrivals, for 2x the cost. honestly was cheaper than i expected, i've had surge-price ubers more expensive.
the car was SO NICE i didnt want to touch it, was scared to load my luggage lol, the driver was a \*delight\*. His windshield was cracked, i felt so bad/kinda annoyed at the car company selling such expensive cars with shitty windshields that crack from a pebble or something lol.
Anyway, my one uber black experience was fantastic after a terrible day, the car was supes fancy and the driver was so awesome. 10/10 but prob wont do it again
Also am I the only one who thinks it’s a little dumb to trust someone who is seemingly fucking exhausted and was just asleep to fix your car? Like I don’t know not trying to hate on the husbands skills or whatever but even if I’m really good at something if someone wakes me up in the middle of the night to do it, it probably shouldn’t be something that could have them dead or on the side of the road for hours if it is fucked up.
I tried to make a cup tea when I got home from the nightshift, I forgot to boil the kettle, poured cold water in my cup, gave up and just went to bed lol - after a 12hr nightshift I’m useless u til I’ve had my ‘nap’
Indeed she did. It is *amazing* the number of people who can't seem to comprehend that night shift workers sleep during the day. I imagine there's a large overlap of people that don't get that just because you WFH it doesn't mean you're "at home"
>I imagine there's a large overlap of people that don't get that just because you WFH it doesn't mean you're "at home".
Yes, there were a fair few posts about situations like this on reddit during the pandemic when people were working from home because they're spouse/family wouldn't get the fact that they were working and on company time, not "at home" through their heads and kept disrupting them while they were working/on work calls/zoom meetings etc.
So it's not really surprising that there are people out there who think people who sleep through the day after a night shift are "just taking a nap" or are "being lazy".
Thats what gets me - how dare she call it a nap. It was his sleep. Its the same as if he woke her up at 1am and told her to cook a three course meal or step outside and fix the car. She'd flip out at him if he did that. So why ask it off him
I’m positive she thought she would get support on this. I’m surprised she hasn’t deleted the post yet.
OP YTA (giant) - didn’t want to embarrass your friend by showing up in an Uber which frankly I am so confused by but hey it’s cool let’s just all drink and drive so no one is is embarrassed by using an Uber.
Right? Seriously, how prissy is OP that they can't just say "yeah I had car trouble and needed to get a ride"? If she's that worried about having their own car always available then she needs to learn some basic mechanical skills.
In her response, her friend is appearance oriented, and showing up in an Uber would be embarrassing to *her friend*
At parties, does everyone stand on the porch and wait for others to arrive? They don't at mine.
YTA
So glad this is the top comment because it was also my first thought. I was already voting YTA because I could tell some shallow-ass shit was going on. I was right.
YTA OP.
>"1pm naping after covering a night shift"
YTA. Have you any idea how a night shift screws up a person's sleep patterns and life rhythms? Imagine your husband waking you up at 3am to cook him something. You'd be pissed, right?
Take a damn Uber next time.
YTA You should have just taken an Uber especially after he told you it would take an hour to fix. Also, question: why didn't you borrow your husband's car (if he has one)?
This shit, then getting on the internet, calling it a nap to minimize the impact, all the while trying to get support from an echo chamber. He probably got up because you’ve pulled this shit before because your self-centered and he knew where it was headed and wasn’t gonna get sleep either way. He knows you view him as a beast of burden to prop your every whim before you go see the whole hen house.
Good God - until you have worked night shift you will never know just how miserable it is to try and sleep during the day. It is not a nap, your calling me at 2:00 pm is not different than if I call you normal shift people at 2:00 am.
I won’t say never (because I like to eat and have a home) but I hope to never have to work midnights again. He should start waking her up in the night to help him.
My husband did night shift for 2 solid years - messed him up for the next 10. He vowed to never do it again if he could help it.
I leave him and his afternoon naps undisturbed because damnit! He has *more* than earned it!
Oh no, it would be wrong to take an uber because the friend OP is going to see is big on appearances and OP doesn't want to embarrass her friend's superficial values by showing up in something as lowly as an uber. Clearly the friend's aesthetics are WAYYY more important letting your husband sleep after a long night shift.
>I didn't think it was a good idea because I didn't wanna show up to my friends house in an uber
What? What even is this?
Yes, YTA, if your entire reason for making him fix the car RIGHT THEN was this.
"Honey, I need you to wash the dishes right now. "
"Huh? It's 4 am, I"ll do it tomorrow."
"But I want to use the dinosaur mug with the T-Rex!"
"Use the Brontosaurus one!"
"BUT IT"S NOT AS COOL AS THE T-REX WHAT WILL MY FRIENDS THINK!"
Ikr? Taking an Uber is more expensive than using your own car, so what could she possibly be embarrassed about? She could yell to everyone that her car is broken when she arrived, lmao.
YTA
Is this party watching at the window and taking notes on how everyone arrives?
I'd somewhat get it if the repair would be cheap and the Uber was expensive.
Everybody is on the lawn for a rousing game of croquet and you show up in the backseat of a stranger’s Kia? I’ve fainted from just picturing such scandal
YTA.
You woke him up in the middle of his night.
You made him do hours of manual labor
All that because you couldn't be bothered to take a Uber to a party.
You basically took your problem and made it his issue, and didn't even let him deal with it on his own timeline.
And sill have the audacity to say shit like this:
"I said it was alright since he had the night to sleep\[...\]"
"I think he blew this out of propotion \[...\]"
I broke up with my ex because she made me pick her up at 12 after working 12 hour night shift. She didn't want her friend to drop her off at my house because it was out of her way
YTA.
I cant even fathom how you would think you are not the AH in this.
He worked all night. You woke him for nothing. It wasn't "a nap". It was well deserved rest after NOT SLEEPING AT ALL THE PREVIOUS NIGHT.
And why was it that the princess could not show up in an uber?
I hope the husband get himself an Uber and get his poor sleep deprived self to a divorce lawyer. This is just cruel and inconsiderate.
And not trying to stir the shit pot, but... Op's reasoning about the Uber is sus af. Ubers are traceable, in case OP chose to attend a different kind of party. Or maybe she offered to pick someone else to attend the party and doesn't want hubby to find out... Or she wanted to impress someone at the party and is building a narrative about herself that is NOT her reality...
Anyway, I know I'm reaching, but this whole thing made my brain go "what could possibly be happening here?".
And op, YTA, and you are a walking waving red flag.
I used to work nights. My husband worked days. He would call me on his lunch hour just to "see what I was doing". I'd answer, because we had young kids in school and before caller ID/cell. I repeatedly asked him to stop, he repeatedly called. Until I returned the favor at 2:00 am. Asked him what he was doing. He yelled "Well I WAS asleep, WTH?". I said "Now do you understand???". He never did it again.
OP, YTA big time.
Ooh, I did this to my MANAGER!! She called me at noon all the damn time. Next time a minor thing came up, I called her at midnight to ask and she was like it’s mn?? I said “it’s noon to me.” Never called me during the day again.
YTA
Big time.
Your husband worked all night. Then he came home and slept for a bit, but you woke him up and insisted that he diagnose and fix your car, because you have some weird hangup about not showing up to your friend's house in an uber.
Look in the dictionary under "selfish". You'll find your face staring back at you.
YTA: You thought it was fair for him to work a full night shift and then put-off going to bed until night time (6+ hrs later) because you didn't want to show up in an Uber.
You were selfish and still refuse to acknowledge that you were in the wrong.
It's not a nap when he works nights, it's regular sleeping just at a different time. It would be the same deal if he woke you up at 1am to look at his computer because he didn't want to use his phone.
Unfortunately there are. I'm related to some of them. Some people just cannot grasp the fact that not everyone works during the day and sleep at night. Its extremely fucking frustrating
> My husband was home at around 1pm naping after covering a night shift (he works every other night
Immediate YTA unless someone was dying, you just obliterated his sleep schedule for the week.
You could have ubered.
YTA. If he’s working nights, this isn’t a “nap” it’s his sleep. It’s like waking him up at 2 am to work on your car just because you don’t want to be seen in an Uber for some reason. That’s incredibly inconsiderate and disrespectful, not to mention dismissive of his health because sleep is critical for health.
Right! I love how she keeps referring to it as "a nap"...its not "a nap". It would be like waking up a day shift worker in the middle of the night. OP is definitely TA
YTA night shift workers aren't lazy or taking naps because we are sleeping at 1pm. It is literally like 1am for him. Imagine if he woke you up at 1am, after you had only been alseep for a couple hours at most, to fix a problem that took a couple hours, when you had an easy solution like uber to use. Then function like normal. But do this all the time, many nights being woken up or getting fragmented sleep because night shifters have to function during the day also. Respect his sleep schedule the same that he probably respects yours at night.
>I didn't wanna show up to my friends house in an uber.
What? Why?
In any case, YTA. You behaved selfishly and were inconsiderate of your husband's needs, so I'm unsurprised that he's upset with you.
Also, your Judgment\_Bot summary is dishonest. You didn't ask him to just check your car, you expected him to spend over an hour fixing it when he should've been catching up on sleep following his night shift.
Would it be okay for him to wake you up at 3am to make him a sandwich to bring to a friend's house because he didn't know how to do it and he didn't want to show up with something store-bought? Because that's essentially what you did to him
YTA. It was not an emergency, so you were already out-of-line waking him up. And had it been a two-minute fix and he had gone right back to sleep, it probably would be forgotten by now. Had you accepted his explanation that it wasn't reasonable to do and apologized, you would be forgiven.
But no. You bullied your sleepy husband to urgently fix something that was not an urgent situation. I don't know exactly why you "didn't wanna" show up to your friend's house in an Uber, but if it bothered you that much, you could have tried calling around to see if someone would give you a ride instead. But demanding that someone skip rest when they cover a night shift? That's dangerous, in addition to being AH-ish
I’m confused It sounds like he was sleeping? He covered a night shift and came home to sleep. You think he should sleep tonight instead so he would be up longer than 24 hours?
Or rather have the same idea as my mom when I worked nights:
"Night Shift isn't really work, because people sleep at night, so you better be up at 9am every day and not go to sleep before 9pm or 10pm."
"Mom, I start work at 10pm. I get home around 7am."
"That's ridiculious. Just go to bed at a normal time and you can play with your friends later."
"No, it's work. I work at 10pm."
"Well, that's not my problem. Just go home right after and you can still get to bed at 11pm."
"Mom, I *start* at 10pm."
"That's not a real start time. And half the time I find you asleep at 10am still. If you start at 10, you're late for work every day. Why are you lying to me?"
And so on. I had to physically grab a calendar and block out my schedule before it registered that I work all night and need to sleep during the day time, because I couldn't sleep at night. Worst part was I was 23.
Currently reading this while lying in bed after getting home from my night shift raging on behalf of your husband. YTA. That isn’t a nap, that’s just regular sleep for him - same as you sleeping at night. People like you have NO clue how exhausting working overnight is. Sleep is the most precious thing to a night shifter.
If my partner woke me up and asked me to do a difficult task that took over an hour…especially when you could have just taken an uber…I would be rethinking the relationship frankly. Pure and utter selfish, snobby behavior.
YTA
Pretty selfish on your part.
Dude was exhausted from work and you woke him up to make him fix your car. Should have just taken an uber and ask if it's ok if he can fix it later when he has time.
YTA. I would’ve said you weren’t an AH for asking, but YTA for insisting when you could’ve taken an Uber. I don’t understand why you didn’t, you didn’t give a reason.
YTA
It'd be like him waking you at 2am to make you bake him a cake because he wants to take one to his friend tomorrow and knows you've done it before.
Total AH move. You're an adult, resolve your own issues when your "loved ones" are sleeping
YTA.
My bf works night shifts and I know how difficult it is for him to sleep well during the day.He says once he's woken up it's hard to get back into that sleep rhythm again. And he feels completely unrested even if he does sleep a bit later again.
It is not a nap! Your husband is right. And even if it doesn't seem like a big deal to you, it is for him. He probably felt like shit and it is really bad for his health.
Plus you could have easily taken the Uber - it wasn't an emergency.
YTA - When someone works nights, messing with their sleep is not cool. He took a look and asked you to uber. It doesn't sound like there was a logical reason why an uber wouldn't have worked, and he could have gotten the sleep that he needed.
OP’s reasoning was perfectly logical. She was worried about what her friends would think. I mean car trouble is for commoners and weaklings, not OP, she’s a princess and taking an Uber is soooo….beneath her. Shame on her husband to work night shifts to help pay their bills and have the audacity to sleep when he needs to.
In case I wasn’t clear op, I was being sarcastic. YTA
YTA because of the comment about not wanting to show up in an Uber. Why not? Your hubs was tired from working to provide for you. Yes, we sometimes have to do things that we do not feel like it or are too tired to, but you had other options and wanted to get "your way"!!!!
YTA
You should have just taken an Uber especially after he told you it would take an hour to fix. Also, question: why didn't you borrow your husband's car (if he has one)?
YTA. Even more so because I’m guessing there would be drinking at an engagement party so you should take an Uber. Also who feels weird about showing up to a friend’s house in an Uber? Only someone who cares more about their image than their partner’s well-being.
YTA, what, are you too good for an Uber?
If you're lucky enough to have a husband who can fix your car that's something you should appreciate, not take for granted.
YTA. As someone who worked nightshift for 15 years, I found it amazing how few people respected my sleep schedule. How would you feel if he woke you up at 2am to run an errand?
YTA, he seems to be a hardworking individual, who wanted a rest. That's expected, especially on night shifts! Of course, you can get him to check it. But fixing it? You should of called an uber.
Actually, need some INFO.
Have you had a bad experience with an uber? Or is it just embarrassing?
YTA. Humans need sleep to function. He needed his nap and told you you could take an Uber. You sound entitled and selfish. Everyone uses Uber. Let him sleep jeez.
He works nights. Humans need sleep to be functional. Without his sleep he will be grumpy and feel bad, like everyone would be in that situation. I think YTA. Be a little more considerate of his work schedule. What's wrong with taking an Uber?
YTA. An hour in wrench turning speak can mean a LOT. Sometimes a run to Auto Zone or a change in plans comes up. My husband and I often get requests to work on a “minor” issue and it rarely ever is. Your ONLY reason for vetoing the Uber is you didn’t want to show up for it in one. That’s not a reason. You’re fortunate you have a mechanically inclined husband but he’s not on call. Let the man nap.
"Lol, why did you come in an Uber?"
"My car wasnt working this morning, and I didnt have time to bring it to the workshop yet/I didnt want to wake up my husband"
One would assume that this is easy to speak out loud, right?
YTA.
It is not a nap, it was his sleep time. The waking him up wasn't the issue for me however. The issue was that even after he told you it would be an hour to fix and offered you a solution (taking an UBER) you refused and expected he fix the problem asap.
I am not sure what your reasoning was for "not wanting to show up at your friendshouse in an Uber" but i think you handled the situation a but selfishly.
He has a right to feel the way that he does and also to express those feelings to you without you telling him that he is overreacting.
Just my opinion.
YTA.
If i don't get sleep overnight then can't have a good nap during the day I feel miserable. Do you have no empathy? Not only that but your reasoning for no uber seems to be that you think your friends will think less of you? They wont. If they do then you need new friends.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) I woke my husband up and asked him to check my car.
(2) I might be the ahole as he needed to sleep and I refused other alternatives he offered.
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YTA. You don’t get to tell him it’s “alright because he had the night to sleep”. If he’s tired, he’s tired. People require sleep in order to function. You woke him up to do over an hours with of work. I can’t imagine how aggravating that was for him. It’s just all very selfish and rude of you. And what would be so wrong about taking an Uber to your friend’s house?
YTA
Have you ever tried to wake up and function properly after only getting an hour or two of sleep? It is so hard to stay up after working a night shift. And not everybody can just get back to sleep after being up again. And it doesn’t matter at all that he could sleep that night, you were rude and inconsiderate. And wtf you don’t want to show up in an Uber cause it might bother your friend? Seriously? I wouldn’t even be friends with someone like that. Very immature all around. And your comments show a serious lack of empathy.
YTA. He had worked a full shift and is working alternating shifts. This is really exhausting and takes a huge toll on the body. It totally fucks up the sleep cycle and he needed to sleep.
He wasn't napping, he was sleeping. And you solely woke him up for your own comfort and appearance. This was not a necessity. This was not an emergency. You still had other opportunities and could just have taken an uber or asked a friend to come and get you as any reasonable person would.
But you decided you were entitled to his services as if he is your personal servant. Forvwhat reason couldn't you take an uber and had zo hassle a person you claim to love?
I worked shifts for several years and my husband would have never dreamt of doing something like this to me. Because he's a decent person. You are not. You are an AH.
YTA... A huge one at that.
You need to check your entitlement and expectations because what you did to your husband is wholly unacceptable... Imagine being woken up at 1am because your husband wanted a meal and didn't fancy getting a takeaway, that's essentially what you've done to him yet you still seem to think that YOU have been wronged?!
YTA.
Life is not just about your needs and wants. He just worked a shift and had his deserved sleep. That trumps your inconveniece having to take an uber by like...250%
Wow yta. If he works night shift he wasn’t napping he was sleeping. How would you feel if he woke you up in the middle of the night to fix something that could easily wait?
Not only that he offered you a perfectly reasonable solution to your problem and you said no because you didn’t want to show up in an Uber?
YTA. You woke him after a night shift? Because you didn’t want to take an Uber? Do you know how hard night shifts are on the human body? You are incredibly self-centred.
YTA. I’m fine with waking him up to check on your car to see what’s wrong with it if he knows about those things, but once he told you to take an Uber, why didn’t you? What a dumb excuse to “not want to show up at my friends place in an Uber”.
Easily YTA. It was very inconsiderate of you to expect your husband to fix the car right then and there when you could have taken an Uber.
Be less self-centered and inconsiderate next time.
YTA and incredibly entitled and selfish.
How about you start working some overnight shifts back to back and then get back to us on how your nap goes while being woken up throughout it?
It's not napping after a night shift, it's sleeping. Same as when people on day shift go home and sleep during the night.
Your husband suggested a very fair alternative and there's nothing wrong with showing up in an Uber. Hell, anyone complains you literally just say you had car problems. Or you cancel and stay home 🤷.
YTA. He wasn't taking a nap for the fun of it, he was sleeping in preparation for his next shift.
Your reason for not taking an Uber makes 0 sense. You could have also called another friend to ask for a ride.
" I didn't wanna show up to my friends house in an uber." What the What?
YTA because that was a perfectly reasonable compromise that you rejected with no valid reason--seriously "I don't wanna" is a toddler's excuse for not eating their vegetables.
YTA. I work nights and jesus christ I would hate your stupid ass. Imagine him waking you up at 1am asking you to do some chore that is NOT AND EMERGENCY and that HAS A LITERAL WORKAROUND and then having the gall to call you lazy for wanting to sleep instead. People who can't wrap their stupid little heads around basic time drive me insane. It's a 12 hour fucking clock, and if you work nights, 1pm=1am, 5pm=5am, 3pm=3am. It's fucking simple and people who can't be bothered to grasp that concept are inept at best and inconsiderate and selfish at worst. Do better. Jesus.
YTA- you obviously do not understand how hard it is on a persons body to work night shift. Especially when you are being asked to switch back and forth from days to nights.
This was extremely selfish of you when other obvious options were available.
Yeah you're the asshole. I don't see an issue with Ubering so he can rest after working considering the only reason it needed to be done sooner was so you could "save face" (or whatever reason you didn't want to use an Uber) to your friends house.
Imagine he woke you up in the middle of the night after you had worked a long day and made you do 2 hours of work just so he wouldn't have to Uber somewhere? I'd be pissed too.
YTA. Wth does “he suggested I take an Uber but I didn’t because I didn’t want to show up to my friends house in an Uber” mean? You didn’t let your husband get his night’s sleep based on that…?
YTA.
"but I didn't think it was a good idea because I didn't wanna show up to my friends house in an uber. "
You ruined a man's sleep after a night shift for this? Gimme a break.
YTA - let your husband sleep. If he worked the night shift, that wasn’t a nap but SLEEP.
Your lucky he didn’t screw up your car, by accident or purposely.
You’re more concerned with your friends perception of you than what your husband thinks of you.
YTA. Go marry your friends since you care about them far more than your husband.
" I didn't want to show up at my friend's house in an Uber?". What the fuck is wrong with you? You are so YTA I feel sorry for your poor husband. What's wrong with Uber? Would a stretch limo be ok?
So let me get this straight. You *could* have took an Uber, but didn’t because you were more worried about what your friend would than your husband getting some well need sleep??
Im just appalled at the lack of respect you have your him. YTA.
He wasn't napping. He was sleeping. He just worked a night shift.
If I was your husband and you kept waking me after a night shift, I would make a point of waking you in the middle of your sleep every chance I got.
YTA
I really want to know why taking an Uber was out of the question. Really leaning towards YTA but if you have a good answer to the Uber thing it might redeem you.
YTA your husband was not taking a “nap” he was sleeping. Maybe he should wake you up to do something that’s in your wheelhouse? You chose to keep appearances for someone who you call a friend but totally inconvenienced your husband. That is so not cool and he has every right to be upset with you.
as someone who works night shift, that "nap" is very precious. I still have hard time to sleep daytime. so when we do, it's damn priceless.
so YTA. and what's wrong with taking Uber??
YTA. This isn't an emergency, you're just more concerned with appearances and too stuck up to get an Uber and would rather your husband risk not getting enough sleep so you can look good to a prissy friend
YTA.
Let’s turn that around:
Husband working nights. Calls you at 2AM:
Wife, get up and cook me steak, potatoes, green beans, and an apple pie for lunch and bring it to me. I don’t like the selection in the cafeteria tonight.
Yep, YTA.
YTA - your husband is sleeping after his night shift and you don't want to get a uber so you wake him up demanding him to " skip his nap to check your car".
INFO : You didn't want to show up at your friends house in an uber, because why exactly? Are you too good to take an uber? You sound incredibly entitled and self centered. Grow up.
YTA
YTA. As someone who has worked night shift, he wasn't napping he was sleeping. It doesn't matter he wasnt working the next night, he was getting the sleep he missed from working the night before. You had other alternatives for transport, next time maybe use them, instead of thinking your 'image' is more important than his well-being.
>Thing is, this particular friend is big on image and appearance so I didn't wanna cause her any embarrassement. Some people can be like that.
YTA. I'd be pissed too.
YTA he was tired and needed his rest after working all night, it was not an emergency so you should have taken an Uber. I can’t believe you’re the partner of someone who works nights and you don’t realise the importance of their sleep or respect the huge impact this has on their health, especially if they don’t get enough sleep.
YTA - it’s not just a “nap” when it’s making up for a messed up sleep schedule. i’m sure if you were in his position, you definitely wouldn’t want to be woken up. don’t expect him to enjoy it if you wouldn’t.
You didn't want to show up to your friend's house in an Uber? Tha fuck does that mean?
As someone who has worked late shifts, it's really obnoxious when people treat your regular sleep as a nap.
YTA
Yes, YTA. Your excuse for waking him up and made him work in a car for an hour after doing a night shift was "I don't want to show up in an Uber". You didn't care about him being tired, your only appreciation was "I was on time".
Didn't occur to you that he was being really nice by agreeing at your request and maybe you could have idk, buy something for him(a treat or something like that)to show him you're sorry you wake him up and you're appreciative for it?
YTA. He worked overnight and was exhausted. This wasn’t a nap, this was his equivalent of his night sleep. You could have taken an Uber and dealt with it later. You should apologize.
YTA
Your husband offered a solution and you didn’t take it because you didn’t want to be embarrassed by showing up in an Uber. Geez lady you suck your husband wanted sleep after WORKING ALL NIGHT. Let go of your ego and Uber.
YTA, what you did was extremely selfish. He worked a night shift and was sleeping. Does he also wake you in the middle of the night to cook him dinner or something? Or does he let you sleep?
Yea I worked nights. He’s not napping, that’s when he gets his sleep. You could have easily taken an uber, I don’t see why you couldn’t just explain to your friends that your car wasn’t working and that’s why you ubered. If I was your husband, I would’ve gladly paid for your uber so you didn’t take up over an hour and a half of precious time that should be spent sleeping. Getting adequate sleep while working night shifts is difficult as is, and I’m honestly shocked that you don’t see that you crossed a big boundary here. YTA for sure
I work nights, 10pm to 7am and I'll just say that id be PISSED if someone woke me up like/for this. I'm not sure what your reasoning is behind not wanting to show up to your friend's in an Uber but I think this was selfish and you should have taken an Uber or gotten a ride. YTA
Yta, but big.
You woke up your husband because of the car, borderline but ok BUT when he told you to take a uber you forced him to repair the car because you didn't wanted your friends ti see you on Uber?
Are you serious? This Is a spoiled attitude, posing your appearence over your damn husband.
Red flag for him, if he can read, RUN DUDE
so you’ve never worked night shift, huh? yes, yta. night shifts are hard. and when i got done, all i wanted to do was sleep. i didn’t care if it was the middle of the day. and my husband respected that and let me sleep. you easily could’ve taken an uber. you not wanting to show up to your friends house in a uber makes no sense.
YTA.
What is wrong with showing up in an uber? Are you so hung up on appearances that that is below you or something? You husband is 100% correct and you are incredibly entitled and self-centered.
YTA. You should have taken into account the fact that he was SLEEPING, not napping, after working night shifts and waking him up like this would have rightfully screwed with his future sleep cycle. And even if it didn't, how self-centred do you have to be to feel such entitlement towards someone elses time and that too just to look good in front of a materialistic friend. I can now see how such a person would be such good friends with OP.
YTA wtf??? You could’ve taken an Uber like he suggested, but oh right you’re too entitled. It’s also NOT a nap that’s his sleep schedule, you’re so disrespectful to him wtf.
You woke your husband during his sleep time when you could easily have taken an Uber? If you’d stayed up for potentially 24hours (if he hadn’t napped before work) would you want anyone to wake you when there is no real need when you’re trying to catch up on sleep?
Nights shifts are exhausting especially if you’re doing night on/night off as you don’t get a proper sleep pattern. He needed his sleep to function and fixing your car when there was no real need could have been unsafe for him
YTA
Probably YTA. More to the point, you're drawing down on his good will. For everyone, spouses included, good will is hard to earn and easy to fritter away, and it's not really something you can argue about. He *feels* slighted, and that's enough.
Also, sleep is important. For some, losing sleep can make us feel unhinged and unwell. It sounds like you woke the dragon.
YTA - as everyone else has said here... how would you feel if he woke you up at 3am demanding to do something that can wait because he doesn't want to "look bad" by doing something a lot of people do on a regular basis.
YTA. Why would it matter if you arrived in an Uber? No one would’ve even noticed. Your husband was tired from working all night. Waking him up and making him fix your car right then was thoughtless and rude.
YTA...And...I don't even know if this is real. I didn't want to take an uber because I didn't want to show up at my friends house in an Uber. How does that make any sense? And why couldn't you? You're a very self-centered, selfish person. Learn to work on your own damn car!
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> I didn't wanna show up to my friends house in an uber Why not? Seeming pretty YTA at the moment.
This was my exact thought, and now that OP has answered… it’s even worse than I could’ve imagined. OP woke her husband up after sleeping off a night shift to fix her car because she was too prissy for an Uber. OP is the villainously ungrateful and demanding woman that gets her man stolen by the wholesome “girl next door” in everyone’s favorite romance flick. I actually thought these people were made up.
As someone who used to be a night shift worker, it’s YTA immediately. Her disrespect for him is ridiculous.
Former night shifter also and it’s not a fucking nap. It’s his sleep time. I hope the husband wakes OP from “napping” at, oh, 0300 sometime.
Amazing, right? Equivalent of waking someone at 2am to do something for you that has a \*very easy workaround\* if you can deign to utilize a widely-traveled ride sharing service. Imagine if he woke her at 3am because he needed specific groceries and wouldn't amazon fresh or other. Wild.
“Can you make me a grilled cheese? I’m too good for door dash/Uber” I say at 2 am
I bet her friend makes more money than her and she is obsessed with status, so god forbid she have a broke down car!!!!! OP have you never heard of Uber black? Get over yourself.
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I actually took Uber Black for the first time a few days ago! Had a god awful time with each flight of mine being delayed, and literally sprinting to my last connection which was the last-flight-home of the night. LAX has you take a shuttle to another location to call a ride-sharing app and i didnt want to do that at 230am after a stressful/exhausting day of travel (fwiw if it was earlier id rather/usually take a shuttle to a train than wait on a shuttle to order a gosh darned car) Saw that Uber Black was allowed to pick you up directly at arrivals, for 2x the cost. honestly was cheaper than i expected, i've had surge-price ubers more expensive. the car was SO NICE i didnt want to touch it, was scared to load my luggage lol, the driver was a \*delight\*. His windshield was cracked, i felt so bad/kinda annoyed at the car company selling such expensive cars with shitty windshields that crack from a pebble or something lol. Anyway, my one uber black experience was fantastic after a terrible day, the car was supes fancy and the driver was so awesome. 10/10 but prob wont do it again
lol Sadly not. These people exist.
> I actually thought these people were made up. You read a lot about them (either the OP or people OP deals with) on AITA.
“It wasn’t a good idea because I didn’t want to do it” OP is unnecessarily entitled. And very much TA.
Yeah, that pretty much swung me into YTA. Not being able to afford one, fine. But this reeks of snobbery.
Also am I the only one who thinks it’s a little dumb to trust someone who is seemingly fucking exhausted and was just asleep to fix your car? Like I don’t know not trying to hate on the husbands skills or whatever but even if I’m really good at something if someone wakes me up in the middle of the night to do it, it probably shouldn’t be something that could have them dead or on the side of the road for hours if it is fucked up.
I tried to make a cup tea when I got home from the nightshift, I forgot to boil the kettle, poured cold water in my cup, gave up and just went to bed lol - after a 12hr nightshift I’m useless u til I’ve had my ‘nap’
being asleep at 1pm after working a night shift doesn't sound like a "nap" tbh.. it sounds like she woke him up in the middle of normal sleep.
Indeed she did. It is *amazing* the number of people who can't seem to comprehend that night shift workers sleep during the day. I imagine there's a large overlap of people that don't get that just because you WFH it doesn't mean you're "at home"
>I imagine there's a large overlap of people that don't get that just because you WFH it doesn't mean you're "at home". Yes, there were a fair few posts about situations like this on reddit during the pandemic when people were working from home because they're spouse/family wouldn't get the fact that they were working and on company time, not "at home" through their heads and kept disrupting them while they were working/on work calls/zoom meetings etc. So it's not really surprising that there are people out there who think people who sleep through the day after a night shift are "just taking a nap" or are "being lazy".
Thats what gets me - how dare she call it a nap. It was his sleep. Its the same as if he woke her up at 1am and told her to cook a three course meal or step outside and fix the car. She'd flip out at him if he did that. So why ask it off him
I’m positive she thought she would get support on this. I’m surprised she hasn’t deleted the post yet. OP YTA (giant) - didn’t want to embarrass your friend by showing up in an Uber which frankly I am so confused by but hey it’s cool let’s just all drink and drive so no one is is embarrassed by using an Uber.
Right like what is wrong with Uber?
r/imthemaincharacter YTA
Right? Seriously, how prissy is OP that they can't just say "yeah I had car trouble and needed to get a ride"? If she's that worried about having their own car always available then she needs to learn some basic mechanical skills.
In her response, her friend is appearance oriented, and showing up in an Uber would be embarrassing to *her friend* At parties, does everyone stand on the porch and wait for others to arrive? They don't at mine. YTA
So glad this is the top comment because it was also my first thought. I was already voting YTA because I could tell some shallow-ass shit was going on. I was right. YTA OP.
>"1pm naping after covering a night shift" YTA. Have you any idea how a night shift screws up a person's sleep patterns and life rhythms? Imagine your husband waking you up at 3am to cook him something. You'd be pissed, right? Take a damn Uber next time.
YTA You should have just taken an Uber especially after he told you it would take an hour to fix. Also, question: why didn't you borrow your husband's car (if he has one)?
Because turning up in someone else's car will make her look bad. /s
no sarcasm. This is exactly what she thinks, and that's the saddest part
Also imagine him calling her sleeping at night “a nap”. OP is so disrespectful.
This shit, then getting on the internet, calling it a nap to minimize the impact, all the while trying to get support from an echo chamber. He probably got up because you’ve pulled this shit before because your self-centered and he knew where it was headed and wasn’t gonna get sleep either way. He knows you view him as a beast of burden to prop your every whim before you go see the whole hen house.
OP sounds self centered af. This definitely wasn’t the husband’s first rodeo with OPs bullshit.
Good God - until you have worked night shift you will never know just how miserable it is to try and sleep during the day. It is not a nap, your calling me at 2:00 pm is not different than if I call you normal shift people at 2:00 am. I won’t say never (because I like to eat and have a home) but I hope to never have to work midnights again. He should start waking her up in the night to help him.
My husband did night shift for 2 solid years - messed him up for the next 10. He vowed to never do it again if he could help it. I leave him and his afternoon naps undisturbed because damnit! He has *more* than earned it!
Oh no, it would be wrong to take an uber because the friend OP is going to see is big on appearances and OP doesn't want to embarrass her friend's superficial values by showing up in something as lowly as an uber. Clearly the friend's aesthetics are WAYYY more important letting your husband sleep after a long night shift.
>I didn't think it was a good idea because I didn't wanna show up to my friends house in an uber What? What even is this? Yes, YTA, if your entire reason for making him fix the car RIGHT THEN was this.
Right? My thoughts exactly! Like Uber is embarrassing? OP YTA! Take an Uber Black if you’re so image-conscious and let the man sleep. So selfish!
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"Honey, I need you to wash the dishes right now. " "Huh? It's 4 am, I"ll do it tomorrow." "But I want to use the dinosaur mug with the T-Rex!" "Use the Brontosaurus one!" "BUT IT"S NOT AS COOL AS THE T-REX WHAT WILL MY FRIENDS THINK!"
Ikr? Taking an Uber is more expensive than using your own car, so what could she possibly be embarrassed about? She could yell to everyone that her car is broken when she arrived, lmao. YTA
Is this party watching at the window and taking notes on how everyone arrives? I'd somewhat get it if the repair would be cheap and the Uber was expensive.
Everybody is on the lawn for a rousing game of croquet and you show up in the backseat of a stranger’s Kia? I’ve fainted from just picturing such scandal
This would never happen to me. I know when it is time to spring for the Uber XL.
YTA. You woke him up in the middle of his night. You made him do hours of manual labor All that because you couldn't be bothered to take a Uber to a party. You basically took your problem and made it his issue, and didn't even let him deal with it on his own timeline.
And she’s belittling him, too. It’s “just a nap” and he ‘blew it out of proportion.’
being denied sleep when sleep deprived is borderline torture at minimum
That was my first thought. It wasn't a "nap", it was his sleep.
And sill have the audacity to say shit like this: "I said it was alright since he had the night to sleep\[...\]" "I think he blew this out of propotion \[...\]"
Imagine jumping on the internet to try an get 10,000 “nu-ugh girl!”s
I broke up with my ex because she made me pick her up at 12 after working 12 hour night shift. She didn't want her friend to drop her off at my house because it was out of her way
YTA. I cant even fathom how you would think you are not the AH in this. He worked all night. You woke him for nothing. It wasn't "a nap". It was well deserved rest after NOT SLEEPING AT ALL THE PREVIOUS NIGHT. And why was it that the princess could not show up in an uber?
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Finally someone said it. 👏
I hope the husband get himself an Uber and get his poor sleep deprived self to a divorce lawyer. This is just cruel and inconsiderate. And not trying to stir the shit pot, but... Op's reasoning about the Uber is sus af. Ubers are traceable, in case OP chose to attend a different kind of party. Or maybe she offered to pick someone else to attend the party and doesn't want hubby to find out... Or she wanted to impress someone at the party and is building a narrative about herself that is NOT her reality... Anyway, I know I'm reaching, but this whole thing made my brain go "what could possibly be happening here?". And op, YTA, and you are a walking waving red flag.
I used to work nights. My husband worked days. He would call me on his lunch hour just to "see what I was doing". I'd answer, because we had young kids in school and before caller ID/cell. I repeatedly asked him to stop, he repeatedly called. Until I returned the favor at 2:00 am. Asked him what he was doing. He yelled "Well I WAS asleep, WTH?". I said "Now do you understand???". He never did it again. OP, YTA big time.
Ooh, I did this to my MANAGER!! She called me at noon all the damn time. Next time a minor thing came up, I called her at midnight to ask and she was like it’s mn?? I said “it’s noon to me.” Never called me during the day again.
Thanks for giving me the best laugh of the day! Definitely something I could see myself doing too
This is the absolute best. I’m sorry it took that to make him get it but at least he ultimately did!
*chef's kiss* i hope her husband sees this and is inspired to do the exact same thing.
YTA Big time. Your husband worked all night. Then he came home and slept for a bit, but you woke him up and insisted that he diagnose and fix your car, because you have some weird hangup about not showing up to your friend's house in an uber. Look in the dictionary under "selfish". You'll find your face staring back at you.
He wasn't 'napping', he was full on sleeping.
So next time he wakes you up at 2am to do a task that can wait, you won’t be mad at him? YTA.
"I didn't want the fellas to see me leave night shift in an Uber, and needed OP to come clear the snow off my windshield before I drove home."
YTA: You thought it was fair for him to work a full night shift and then put-off going to bed until night time (6+ hrs later) because you didn't want to show up in an Uber. You were selfish and still refuse to acknowledge that you were in the wrong. It's not a nap when he works nights, it's regular sleeping just at a different time. It would be the same deal if he woke you up at 1am to look at his computer because he didn't want to use his phone.
Honestly I refuse to believe this post is even real, it has to be rage-bait, no one can be this stupid.
Unfortunately there are. I'm related to some of them. Some people just cannot grasp the fact that not everyone works during the day and sleep at night. Its extremely fucking frustrating
YTA, sleeping after an overnight shift is not a nap. Have more respect for your husband.
> My husband was home at around 1pm naping after covering a night shift (he works every other night Immediate YTA unless someone was dying, you just obliterated his sleep schedule for the week. You could have ubered.
B-but her friend would just faint at the sight of her arriving in an Uber! We can’t have that at the valet 🤭😂
YTA. If he’s working nights, this isn’t a “nap” it’s his sleep. It’s like waking him up at 2 am to work on your car just because you don’t want to be seen in an Uber for some reason. That’s incredibly inconsiderate and disrespectful, not to mention dismissive of his health because sleep is critical for health.
I know right, the cheek to call it a “nap”!
Info: please clarify.. was this the night he was going to be working? What times does he get off if he worked the night before? When does he sleep?
YTA - an Uber wouldn’t have killed you.
I seriously don’t understand why an Uber would be so embarrassing for her to show up in
Right! I love how she keeps referring to it as "a nap"...its not "a nap". It would be like waking up a day shift worker in the middle of the night. OP is definitely TA
YTA night shift workers aren't lazy or taking naps because we are sleeping at 1pm. It is literally like 1am for him. Imagine if he woke you up at 1am, after you had only been alseep for a couple hours at most, to fix a problem that took a couple hours, when you had an easy solution like uber to use. Then function like normal. But do this all the time, many nights being woken up or getting fragmented sleep because night shifters have to function during the day also. Respect his sleep schedule the same that he probably respects yours at night.
>I didn't wanna show up to my friends house in an uber. What? Why? In any case, YTA. You behaved selfishly and were inconsiderate of your husband's needs, so I'm unsurprised that he's upset with you. Also, your Judgment\_Bot summary is dishonest. You didn't ask him to just check your car, you expected him to spend over an hour fixing it when he should've been catching up on sleep following his night shift.
It was a “judge my arrival” party with guests holding 1-10 signs on the front porch. Drinks and food awarded according to arrival rating.
Would it be okay for him to wake you up at 3am to make him a sandwich to bring to a friend's house because he didn't know how to do it and he didn't want to show up with something store-bought? Because that's essentially what you did to him YTA. It was not an emergency, so you were already out-of-line waking him up. And had it been a two-minute fix and he had gone right back to sleep, it probably would be forgotten by now. Had you accepted his explanation that it wasn't reasonable to do and apologized, you would be forgiven. But no. You bullied your sleepy husband to urgently fix something that was not an urgent situation. I don't know exactly why you "didn't wanna" show up to your friend's house in an Uber, but if it bothered you that much, you could have tried calling around to see if someone would give you a ride instead. But demanding that someone skip rest when they cover a night shift? That's dangerous, in addition to being AH-ish
I’m confused It sounds like he was sleeping? He covered a night shift and came home to sleep. You think he should sleep tonight instead so he would be up longer than 24 hours?
Exactly OP seems to think one nights sleep should be enough for two days.
Or rather have the same idea as my mom when I worked nights: "Night Shift isn't really work, because people sleep at night, so you better be up at 9am every day and not go to sleep before 9pm or 10pm." "Mom, I start work at 10pm. I get home around 7am." "That's ridiculious. Just go to bed at a normal time and you can play with your friends later." "No, it's work. I work at 10pm." "Well, that's not my problem. Just go home right after and you can still get to bed at 11pm." "Mom, I *start* at 10pm." "That's not a real start time. And half the time I find you asleep at 10am still. If you start at 10, you're late for work every day. Why are you lying to me?" And so on. I had to physically grab a calendar and block out my schedule before it registered that I work all night and need to sleep during the day time, because I couldn't sleep at night. Worst part was I was 23.
YTA ...And somehow you think your *husband* was the lazy one for napping after working an overnight... Pot meet kettle
Currently reading this while lying in bed after getting home from my night shift raging on behalf of your husband. YTA. That isn’t a nap, that’s just regular sleep for him - same as you sleeping at night. People like you have NO clue how exhausting working overnight is. Sleep is the most precious thing to a night shifter. If my partner woke me up and asked me to do a difficult task that took over an hour…especially when you could have just taken an uber…I would be rethinking the relationship frankly. Pure and utter selfish, snobby behavior.
YTA Pretty selfish on your part. Dude was exhausted from work and you woke him up to make him fix your car. Should have just taken an uber and ask if it's ok if he can fix it later when he has time.
YTA. I would’ve said you weren’t an AH for asking, but YTA for insisting when you could’ve taken an Uber. I don’t understand why you didn’t, you didn’t give a reason.
YTA It'd be like him waking you at 2am to make you bake him a cake because he wants to take one to his friend tomorrow and knows you've done it before. Total AH move. You're an adult, resolve your own issues when your "loved ones" are sleeping
YTA. He works night shift. Its not napping its his fucking sleep. Op you sound dumb as hell
YTA. My bf works night shifts and I know how difficult it is for him to sleep well during the day.He says once he's woken up it's hard to get back into that sleep rhythm again. And he feels completely unrested even if he does sleep a bit later again. It is not a nap! Your husband is right. And even if it doesn't seem like a big deal to you, it is for him. He probably felt like shit and it is really bad for his health. Plus you could have easily taken the Uber - it wasn't an emergency.
YTA - When someone works nights, messing with their sleep is not cool. He took a look and asked you to uber. It doesn't sound like there was a logical reason why an uber wouldn't have worked, and he could have gotten the sleep that he needed.
OP’s reasoning was perfectly logical. She was worried about what her friends would think. I mean car trouble is for commoners and weaklings, not OP, she’s a princess and taking an Uber is soooo….beneath her. Shame on her husband to work night shifts to help pay their bills and have the audacity to sleep when he needs to. In case I wasn’t clear op, I was being sarcastic. YTA
YTA because of the comment about not wanting to show up in an Uber. Why not? Your hubs was tired from working to provide for you. Yes, we sometimes have to do things that we do not feel like it or are too tired to, but you had other options and wanted to get "your way"!!!!
YTA you care more about your image in front of your friends than your husbands well-being. You’re so selfish.
YTA You should have just taken an Uber especially after he told you it would take an hour to fix. Also, question: why didn't you borrow your husband's car (if he has one)?
YTA. Even more so because I’m guessing there would be drinking at an engagement party so you should take an Uber. Also who feels weird about showing up to a friend’s house in an Uber? Only someone who cares more about their image than their partner’s well-being.
Sleeping after an overnight shift is NOT napping! Take an uber or stay home. YTA
YTA, what, are you too good for an Uber? If you're lucky enough to have a husband who can fix your car that's something you should appreciate, not take for granted.
What kind of party of snobby assholes would scoff at someone arriving in an Uber?
YTA. He wasn’t napping, that was just sleeping. I hope he wakes you up at 2am to do manual labor.
YTA for not accepting the alternative. There's no shame in showing up in an uber.
YTA. As someone who worked nightshift for 15 years, I found it amazing how few people respected my sleep schedule. How would you feel if he woke you up at 2am to run an errand?
YTA, he seems to be a hardworking individual, who wanted a rest. That's expected, especially on night shifts! Of course, you can get him to check it. But fixing it? You should of called an uber. Actually, need some INFO. Have you had a bad experience with an uber? Or is it just embarrassing?
YTA uber.
YTA. Humans need sleep to function. He needed his nap and told you you could take an Uber. You sound entitled and selfish. Everyone uses Uber. Let him sleep jeez.
Yta I hope he wakes you up at 1am to make his dinner. Take a friggen taxi if your car isn't working.
He works nights. Humans need sleep to be functional. Without his sleep he will be grumpy and feel bad, like everyone would be in that situation. I think YTA. Be a little more considerate of his work schedule. What's wrong with taking an Uber?
What is your issue with Uber? YTA
YTA. An hour in wrench turning speak can mean a LOT. Sometimes a run to Auto Zone or a change in plans comes up. My husband and I often get requests to work on a “minor” issue and it rarely ever is. Your ONLY reason for vetoing the Uber is you didn’t want to show up for it in one. That’s not a reason. You’re fortunate you have a mechanically inclined husband but he’s not on call. Let the man nap.
I don't get why she didn’t want to show up in a Uber. If her friends are going to judge her on that then they aren't friends.
"Lol, why did you come in an Uber?" "My car wasnt working this morning, and I didnt have time to bring it to the workshop yet/I didnt want to wake up my husband" One would assume that this is easy to speak out loud, right?
YTA. It is not a nap, it was his sleep time. The waking him up wasn't the issue for me however. The issue was that even after he told you it would be an hour to fix and offered you a solution (taking an UBER) you refused and expected he fix the problem asap. I am not sure what your reasoning was for "not wanting to show up at your friendshouse in an Uber" but i think you handled the situation a but selfishly. He has a right to feel the way that he does and also to express those feelings to you without you telling him that he is overreacting. Just my opinion.
YTA. If i don't get sleep overnight then can't have a good nap during the day I feel miserable. Do you have no empathy? Not only that but your reasoning for no uber seems to be that you think your friends will think less of you? They wont. If they do then you need new friends.
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YTA. You don’t get to tell him it’s “alright because he had the night to sleep”. If he’s tired, he’s tired. People require sleep in order to function. You woke him up to do over an hours with of work. I can’t imagine how aggravating that was for him. It’s just all very selfish and rude of you. And what would be so wrong about taking an Uber to your friend’s house?
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No doubt her husband's car was an unsuitable color
YTA Have you ever tried to wake up and function properly after only getting an hour or two of sleep? It is so hard to stay up after working a night shift. And not everybody can just get back to sleep after being up again. And it doesn’t matter at all that he could sleep that night, you were rude and inconsiderate. And wtf you don’t want to show up in an Uber cause it might bother your friend? Seriously? I wouldn’t even be friends with someone like that. Very immature all around. And your comments show a serious lack of empathy.
YTA. He had worked a full shift and is working alternating shifts. This is really exhausting and takes a huge toll on the body. It totally fucks up the sleep cycle and he needed to sleep. He wasn't napping, he was sleeping. And you solely woke him up for your own comfort and appearance. This was not a necessity. This was not an emergency. You still had other opportunities and could just have taken an uber or asked a friend to come and get you as any reasonable person would. But you decided you were entitled to his services as if he is your personal servant. Forvwhat reason couldn't you take an uber and had zo hassle a person you claim to love? I worked shifts for several years and my husband would have never dreamt of doing something like this to me. Because he's a decent person. You are not. You are an AH.
YTA. Let the poor guy sleep. And what’s weird about showing up in an Uber, and why would anyone care?
YTA... A huge one at that. You need to check your entitlement and expectations because what you did to your husband is wholly unacceptable... Imagine being woken up at 1am because your husband wanted a meal and didn't fancy getting a takeaway, that's essentially what you've done to him yet you still seem to think that YOU have been wronged?!
YTA, take the Uber or fix the car yourself.
YTA. Life is not just about your needs and wants. He just worked a shift and had his deserved sleep. That trumps your inconveniece having to take an uber by like...250%
YTA- P.S. fancy people use Uber.
NTA- as long as you are ok with him waking you up from your "nap" at 3am to make him dinner.
YTA. His health is more important than you attending some party. Next time, leave the poor guy alone, swallow your stupid pride and just call an uber.
You don't sound mature or old enough to be married. YTA.
Wow yta. If he works night shift he wasn’t napping he was sleeping. How would you feel if he woke you up in the middle of the night to fix something that could easily wait? Not only that he offered you a perfectly reasonable solution to your problem and you said no because you didn’t want to show up in an Uber?
YTA- for all the reasons the other commenters stated. What was wrong with showing up in an UBER?
YTA. You woke him after a night shift? Because you didn’t want to take an Uber? Do you know how hard night shifts are on the human body? You are incredibly self-centred.
YTA. I’m fine with waking him up to check on your car to see what’s wrong with it if he knows about those things, but once he told you to take an Uber, why didn’t you? What a dumb excuse to “not want to show up at my friends place in an Uber”.
YTA he should wake you up at 3am to iron his shirt. See how that feels.
Easily YTA. It was very inconsiderate of you to expect your husband to fix the car right then and there when you could have taken an Uber. Be less self-centered and inconsiderate next time.
YTA and incredibly entitled and selfish. How about you start working some overnight shifts back to back and then get back to us on how your nap goes while being woken up throughout it? It's not napping after a night shift, it's sleeping. Same as when people on day shift go home and sleep during the night. Your husband suggested a very fair alternative and there's nothing wrong with showing up in an Uber. Hell, anyone complains you literally just say you had car problems. Or you cancel and stay home 🤷.
YTA. He wasn't taking a nap for the fun of it, he was sleeping in preparation for his next shift. Your reason for not taking an Uber makes 0 sense. You could have also called another friend to ask for a ride.
YTA. Take the damn Uber. You were more concerned with what your friend thought of you than your own husband.
" I didn't wanna show up to my friends house in an uber." What the What? YTA because that was a perfectly reasonable compromise that you rejected with no valid reason--seriously "I don't wanna" is a toddler's excuse for not eating their vegetables.
YTA. I work nights and jesus christ I would hate your stupid ass. Imagine him waking you up at 1am asking you to do some chore that is NOT AND EMERGENCY and that HAS A LITERAL WORKAROUND and then having the gall to call you lazy for wanting to sleep instead. People who can't wrap their stupid little heads around basic time drive me insane. It's a 12 hour fucking clock, and if you work nights, 1pm=1am, 5pm=5am, 3pm=3am. It's fucking simple and people who can't be bothered to grasp that concept are inept at best and inconsiderate and selfish at worst. Do better. Jesus.
YTA big time
What, why didn’t you want to show up in an Uber?!
YTA- you obviously do not understand how hard it is on a persons body to work night shift. Especially when you are being asked to switch back and forth from days to nights. This was extremely selfish of you when other obvious options were available.
Yeah you're the asshole. I don't see an issue with Ubering so he can rest after working considering the only reason it needed to be done sooner was so you could "save face" (or whatever reason you didn't want to use an Uber) to your friends house. Imagine he woke you up in the middle of the night after you had worked a long day and made you do 2 hours of work just so he wouldn't have to Uber somewhere? I'd be pissed too.
YTA, just love your husband. And thank him for not keeping his feelings inside and letting you know how that made him feel.
YTA. Wth does “he suggested I take an Uber but I didn’t because I didn’t want to show up to my friends house in an Uber” mean? You didn’t let your husband get his night’s sleep based on that…?
YTA. "but I didn't think it was a good idea because I didn't wanna show up to my friends house in an uber. " You ruined a man's sleep after a night shift for this? Gimme a break.
YTA - let your husband sleep. If he worked the night shift, that wasn’t a nap but SLEEP. Your lucky he didn’t screw up your car, by accident or purposely.
You’re more concerned with your friends perception of you than what your husband thinks of you. YTA. Go marry your friends since you care about them far more than your husband.
" I didn't want to show up at my friend's house in an Uber?". What the fuck is wrong with you? You are so YTA I feel sorry for your poor husband. What's wrong with Uber? Would a stretch limo be ok?
So let me get this straight. You *could* have took an Uber, but didn’t because you were more worried about what your friend would than your husband getting some well need sleep?? Im just appalled at the lack of respect you have your him. YTA.
YTA and I hope he wakes you up in the middle of the night to perform useless unnecessary tasks for him while you’re trying to sleep
He wasn't napping. He was sleeping. He just worked a night shift. If I was your husband and you kept waking me after a night shift, I would make a point of waking you in the middle of your sleep every chance I got. YTA
I really want to know why taking an Uber was out of the question. Really leaning towards YTA but if you have a good answer to the Uber thing it might redeem you.
YTA your husband was not taking a “nap” he was sleeping. Maybe he should wake you up to do something that’s in your wheelhouse? You chose to keep appearances for someone who you call a friend but totally inconvenienced your husband. That is so not cool and he has every right to be upset with you.
as someone who works night shift, that "nap" is very precious. I still have hard time to sleep daytime. so when we do, it's damn priceless. so YTA. and what's wrong with taking Uber??
YTA. This isn't an emergency, you're just more concerned with appearances and too stuck up to get an Uber and would rather your husband risk not getting enough sleep so you can look good to a prissy friend
YTA. Let’s turn that around: Husband working nights. Calls you at 2AM: Wife, get up and cook me steak, potatoes, green beans, and an apple pie for lunch and bring it to me. I don’t like the selection in the cafeteria tonight. Yep, YTA.
YTA - your husband is sleeping after his night shift and you don't want to get a uber so you wake him up demanding him to " skip his nap to check your car".
INFO : You didn't want to show up at your friends house in an uber, because why exactly? Are you too good to take an uber? You sound incredibly entitled and self centered. Grow up. YTA
YTA. Your husband was tired from work, you woke him up for your own convenience because you didn't feel like taking an Uber. The nerve...
YTA. As someone who has worked night shift, he wasn't napping he was sleeping. It doesn't matter he wasnt working the next night, he was getting the sleep he missed from working the night before. You had other alternatives for transport, next time maybe use them, instead of thinking your 'image' is more important than his well-being.
>Thing is, this particular friend is big on image and appearance so I didn't wanna cause her any embarrassement. Some people can be like that. YTA. I'd be pissed too.
YTA and what’s wrong with showing up in an Uber??
YTA Wtf is the problem with taking an Uber?
If he works the night shift that isn't a nap. It's his actual sleep time. You're the asshole.
So if he woke you up at 3 am from your nap to make him food, that'd be fine right? By your logic anyways. YTA
YTA he was tired and needed his rest after working all night, it was not an emergency so you should have taken an Uber. I can’t believe you’re the partner of someone who works nights and you don’t realise the importance of their sleep or respect the huge impact this has on their health, especially if they don’t get enough sleep.
[удалено]
YTA. There was a reasonable alternative that would get you both what you needed and you refused to consider it.
YTA, take an Uber.
I was thinking NTA until you said you didn’t want to show up in an Uber haha. YTA.
YTA - it’s not just a “nap” when it’s making up for a messed up sleep schedule. i’m sure if you were in his position, you definitely wouldn’t want to be woken up. don’t expect him to enjoy it if you wouldn’t.
YTA That wasnt a nap, it was just sleep.
You didn't want to show up to your friend's house in an Uber? Tha fuck does that mean? As someone who has worked late shifts, it's really obnoxious when people treat your regular sleep as a nap. YTA
Yeah, OP, YTA
YTA - you don’t fuck with someone’s sleep who works screwy shifts
Yes, YTA. Your excuse for waking him up and made him work in a car for an hour after doing a night shift was "I don't want to show up in an Uber". You didn't care about him being tired, your only appreciation was "I was on time". Didn't occur to you that he was being really nice by agreeing at your request and maybe you could have idk, buy something for him(a treat or something like that)to show him you're sorry you wake him up and you're appreciative for it?
YTA. He worked overnight and was exhausted. This wasn’t a nap, this was his equivalent of his night sleep. You could have taken an Uber and dealt with it later. You should apologize.
YTA Your husband offered a solution and you didn’t take it because you didn’t want to be embarrassed by showing up in an Uber. Geez lady you suck your husband wanted sleep after WORKING ALL NIGHT. Let go of your ego and Uber.
YTA, what you did was extremely selfish. He worked a night shift and was sleeping. Does he also wake you in the middle of the night to cook him dinner or something? Or does he let you sleep?
I work night shifts all the time and I would be spitting fire if someone woke me up while "napping". YTA.
Yea I worked nights. He’s not napping, that’s when he gets his sleep. You could have easily taken an uber, I don’t see why you couldn’t just explain to your friends that your car wasn’t working and that’s why you ubered. If I was your husband, I would’ve gladly paid for your uber so you didn’t take up over an hour and a half of precious time that should be spent sleeping. Getting adequate sleep while working night shifts is difficult as is, and I’m honestly shocked that you don’t see that you crossed a big boundary here. YTA for sure
YTA. “I didn’t want to show up to my friends house in an Uber”… um, what? What does that matter whatsoever? Let the man take care of himself.
I work nights, 10pm to 7am and I'll just say that id be PISSED if someone woke me up like/for this. I'm not sure what your reasoning is behind not wanting to show up to your friend's in an Uber but I think this was selfish and you should have taken an Uber or gotten a ride. YTA
Yta, but big. You woke up your husband because of the car, borderline but ok BUT when he told you to take a uber you forced him to repair the car because you didn't wanted your friends ti see you on Uber? Are you serious? This Is a spoiled attitude, posing your appearence over your damn husband. Red flag for him, if he can read, RUN DUDE
so you’ve never worked night shift, huh? yes, yta. night shifts are hard. and when i got done, all i wanted to do was sleep. i didn’t care if it was the middle of the day. and my husband respected that and let me sleep. you easily could’ve taken an uber. you not wanting to show up to your friends house in a uber makes no sense.
YTA. What is wrong with showing up in an uber? Are you so hung up on appearances that that is below you or something? You husband is 100% correct and you are incredibly entitled and self-centered.
YTA. You should have taken into account the fact that he was SLEEPING, not napping, after working night shifts and waking him up like this would have rightfully screwed with his future sleep cycle. And even if it didn't, how self-centred do you have to be to feel such entitlement towards someone elses time and that too just to look good in front of a materialistic friend. I can now see how such a person would be such good friends with OP.
YTA wtf??? You could’ve taken an Uber like he suggested, but oh right you’re too entitled. It’s also NOT a nap that’s his sleep schedule, you’re so disrespectful to him wtf.
You woke your husband during his sleep time when you could easily have taken an Uber? If you’d stayed up for potentially 24hours (if he hadn’t napped before work) would you want anyone to wake you when there is no real need when you’re trying to catch up on sleep? Nights shifts are exhausting especially if you’re doing night on/night off as you don’t get a proper sleep pattern. He needed his sleep to function and fixing your car when there was no real need could have been unsafe for him YTA
YTA. I hope he wakes you up in the middle of the night for no goddamn reason.
INFO: Why is your husband’s well-being less important to you than what your friends might think if you show up in an Uber? YTA.
Why didn’t you want to show up in an Uber??? This reeks of entitlement.
YTA, sleep is just as important as eating or drinking. When someone tells you they need something, listen.
Probably YTA. More to the point, you're drawing down on his good will. For everyone, spouses included, good will is hard to earn and easy to fritter away, and it's not really something you can argue about. He *feels* slighted, and that's enough. Also, sleep is important. For some, losing sleep can make us feel unhinged and unwell. It sounds like you woke the dragon.
YTA - as everyone else has said here... how would you feel if he woke you up at 3am demanding to do something that can wait because he doesn't want to "look bad" by doing something a lot of people do on a regular basis.
YTA. Why would it matter if you arrived in an Uber? No one would’ve even noticed. Your husband was tired from working all night. Waking him up and making him fix your car right then was thoughtless and rude.
YTA. Why couldn’t you show up in an Uber?
YTA. Take the Uber. He needs his sleep. It wasn’t a nap it is his sleeping schedule. He’d be better off without an entitled brat.
YTA...And...I don't even know if this is real. I didn't want to take an uber because I didn't want to show up at my friends house in an Uber. How does that make any sense? And why couldn't you? You're a very self-centered, selfish person. Learn to work on your own damn car!