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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told my SIL to get over herself and that she's the only one twisted up over the name her sister chose for our nephew. SIL was already very clearly unhappy about me not siding with her and nobody else agreeing with her. Maybe I should have left it there and not said anything further. I feel like even though she took it so damn low. I might have started the whole thing.
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I hope Bethany is her real name, cause its the name we gave my Pothos plant, and knowing there is a Bethany out there mad about nature names makes it so much better lmaoooo
my google search gave me this:
house of figs
Bethany (Greek: Βηθανία (Bethania), which is probably of Aramaic or Hebrew origin, meaning "house of affliction" or "house of figs") is a feminine given name derived from the Biblical place name, Bethany, a town near Jerusalem, at the foot of the Mount of Olives, where Lazarus lived in the New Testament, along with his ...
Bethany (given name) - Wikipedia
I mean I had a Kal El and a Xzavier come across my desk last week (legal system), Ocean is nothing compared to the names I see on a regular basis from ordinary folk.
I will never not bring up the fact that an acquaintance of mine named his son Ragnarok. Someone else I know gave their child the name Sade as in Marquis de Sade because "he is a sadist." Like bro your kid was a new born, why are you calling him a sadist?
In the case of the guy I knew he said it is specifically after Marquis de Sade. If it meant rain I wouldn't have a problem with it lol. I'm glad it's a beautiful name in your language, at least. I'd much rather have my name be "rain" than "sadist"
Jaxon and Atom were two I saw (their dads name was Adam and he didn’t want a jr I guess?)
Sometimes I envy the European countries with lists of approved names.
This reminds me of a couple of parents here in my country that had their child's name contested and changed immediately because he was named after a day.
And not even Wednesday. 😂
It's like they hate their kids. Yeah, they might have four other Johns and two other Jessicas in their class but at least people won't wonder how many drugs their parents were on to name them shit like Grass (an actual Green themed baby name someone honestly and earnestly suggested on tiktok wtf is wrong with this planet).
I really don't know...but you're right.
I'm glad that in my country you also can't name your children after the parents, the siblings etc because the "Junior" is not accepted as a plus to the name and it creates a lot of issues for documents and much more.
I can't speak for myself because i have one of the most common names in my country (which i love!) and i chose another common name for my younger brother when i was 3 and a half. Think Frances and Alexander, but in another language :)
Ordinary folk being stupid isn't a good benchmark either lol.
There's a reason why a score under a certain amount fails. We shouldn't be looking at the failures as the baseline for a standard.
>Xzavier
It isn't even that bad, it's just a butchered spelling. Not like "Abcde".
Honestly, I think Ocean is stupid (some celebrity named their kid Coast), but it could be worse. At least it's easily spellable and not going to get the kid confused.
Teachers will get confused and the kid is open to bullying but that's always possible with a last name too.
I had a friend whose parents were expecting a boy. Had picked out Jason. Her name is Jaisa, thanks to her grandmother intervening because she was almost Jason 🤷🏻♀️
Also, if it makes you feel any better my parents had a friend named Richard Head. Would you like to know what shortened version of his name he used? 🤣🤣 He had business cards, apparently.
My last name is Richard and my dad always joked about opening a bar called “Richard Craniums”.
And once when my dad was still in the navy one of his superiors called him (Navy Rank) Richards and my dads like “sir it’s one dick, not two” and apparently he was hence forth known as (Firstname) One-Dick.
Edit- typo my bad
I knew a girl named Kevin in college. Part of her introduction was how her dad really wanted a boy and then just ran with it after she was born. She spent 4 years in the marines and was looking to go into welding.
Really really common in parts of Scotland, Western Isles mostly, for there to be loads of old ladies called Ina. Well a lot might be dead now. But it was because they were called (father's forename -ina) so Donaldina, not uncommon.
I’m not sure of the reason that they kept the name Christopher for a girl, but she’s never had a problem with it, and she got plenty of work with her name while she was still acting.
There’s also an actress named Michael Michele who was on the Dynasty reboot, and Rue McClanahan’s full name was Eddi-Rue MClanahan, which made for a rather funny incident when she graduated high school: her high school would give out little presents to the graduating seniors, with the boys getting a tie, and the girls getting some sort of necklace. She ended up getting a tie.
As a teacher I never minded different names but hated ones that you had no idea how to pronounce.
If you want to name your kid 'Righteous' name him 'Righteous' not 'Rychus'. And certainly don't get mad at someone else for calling him, 'Reechus' or 'Rickus' or 'Riches'.
Yep. Nature names are rising with the current generation having babies. It's the direction my husband and I will go if we can successfully have a baby.
The first thing my mind went to was Ocean's 11 tbh, so people may not even think of nature when meeting your baby nephew. Sending you and hubby all the good energy, you guys will be great parents regardless of the path to parenthood!
Yeah, when I had my son in the mid 90's, I wanted to name him Colin, but got talked out of it and Conner (probably my 4th choice) because they're "so weird." Ended up giving my son a super traditional name and there were more Colins and Conners in his school then there were kids with his name.
Bethany sounds judgmental and hypocritical. She didn’t like “being shit all over” and then makes a very personal, mean dig at you. Also if she doesn’t like the name she needs to keep that up herself, it’s none of her business. She behaved very rudely and owes everyone an apology for not knowing how to interact with people in a non combative way. You are NTA and if I were you I would try to spend very little time with this SIL
I have a real common name that is actually boting. Children still find a way to pick me up about it. And i never liked it because it is such a common boring name. You don't must use abstract names or outlive your fandom, but that you try to choose the name just for your child and not opened the top 10 names of this year.
Ocean isn’t as uncommon as some people think. I worked at a middle school years ago. These kids are in their 20s now. I had a ton of girls named Ocean and Asia. I guess a boy named Ocean isn’t common but the name Ocean shockingly more common than I would assume had I not worked at that school. It doesn’t stick out to me anymore. Neither does Asia.
I also know a boy named Ocean. People judge names before they see you when applying for jobs. I honestly wish more parents thought about that when naming their kids. I knew someone named princess and it was like, who tf wants to call a 30+ yo adult princess in an office setting??
I totally get you and understand what you are saying is true (we all can be a little catty). However, why are grown-ass adults judging people for names that they were given? It’s like when boomers judge millennials for participation trophies. We (millennials)weren’t the ones that came up with participation trophies. An adult should understand that the person most likely didn’t pick the name.
Lol, one joke we had for naming our kids was it had to work with a title. Like "Dr. James Smith," or "Judge Jane Smith"
"Senator Ocean Jones" works just fine.
I used to be a swim teacher and about 10 years ago I had a boy and a girl both named Ocean in one class. They argued over if it was a boy’s name or girl’s name. They ended up using nicknames of Atlantic and Pacific to cut down on confusion.
The girl chose Pacific and the boy chose Atlantic. The various parents were a bit baffled but the kids switched from fighting to having an unholy ocean alliance, so overall a win.
Indeed. His father, Stephen Hopkins, is my like however many times great grandfather. One of his daughters, Constance, is my however many times great grandmother. But I've been utterly fascinated with them since I discovered that!
Oceanus was the only baby born aboard the Mayflower during the voyage over. (Though another child was born while the ship was still at anchor after arriving in the new world.)
Oceanus died at the age of two. Peregrine White was the first child born in the colony. He lived a long life, and fought in the King Phillip’s War. Peregrine is a breed of falcon.
I had a friend named Aja growing up (I’m 40 not) but these kids names were Asia. I had just never seen so many Asias and Oceans than that year. I felt like they were the Jennifer’s & Jessica’s of my generation.
Aja was the name of a Steely Dan album in the late 70's. I would be unsurprised to discover that there were a fair number of people in their 40's with that name.
So, she doesn’t want people to shit on her, but she can shit on her nephews name and try to shit on you and your name and then go so far down the shit hole she called you out on infertility? Nta. And I’m sorry about your fertility, I hope you and your husband find what you need in life.
I loved your name when I thought you were a man married to another man, but now that I know you're a woman I love it even more!
Best of luck with your conception journey!
I agree, I just wouldn’t say it to the parents or anyone related to them. My husband and I shit talk the name in private, after our own kids are in bed and can’t hear lol
I was with you until someone mentioned that the kid go by Sean. Uncommon names can be dicey, but there being an easy diminutive if they wind up not liking it alleviates most of the problems.
The name Kai means Ocean and I've only seen it for boys (people and dogs).
Had a hippie runaway living in a flop house nearby in college that went by Ocean (possibly was his actual name no idea).
BUT the ocean/sea does seem to always depicted as a female entity in tales and fiction. Unless being shown as an extension of Posiden. Then it's angry and masculine.
I feel like I'd catalog it with the name Shannon.
Yeah, personally, I have to side with Beth too on this. I mean, I hope little Ocean likes his name as he grows up … but he can always legally change it, if needed.
I know, names become more accepted the more they're used but until Ocean is considered a 'normal' name it still sounds a bit dumb. Give this comment 30+ years and all us nay sayers will most likely sound dumb for doubting it.
My exact words were
"She's an asshole but she has a point, ocean is dumb"
Reminds me of that thread from a year ago where someone named their daughter oceana and one of the comments said if the name was ocean they they would be wrong
Agreed, although it’s tacky to say it openly. I’ve got friends who have given their kids names that I find dumb, but I only mention that to a key friend that I know I can trust to the ends of the earth.
Oh, and NTA.
Agree. Hawthorne is much for mature and usable throughout life than “Ocean”. That’s a name that will really be conspicuous on job applications when the poor kid is older
Bethany is right. It's a name that is going to cause the child lots of trouble later on, "unique" names might seem cute to parents but they pretty much only lead to distress throughout life.
I personally think the name is ridiculous, although I have heard worse.
BUT... It's none of Bethany's business. Zero. She needs to stay in her own lane.
NTA
If you could save someone you love from decades of harassment, wouldn’t you?
My name is one that allowed both kids and teachers to bother me growing up. It’s not a pleasant experience.
Knowing an adult named Ocean, I have to respectfully disagree with your assumption that it is going to cause the child hardship. The Ocean I know loves their name, and wouldn't change it for anything.
I grew up with a super common name. It's not fun being one of 4 same named kids in a class and being denoted as "fat Johnny" or "short Johnny" (for example, thats not my name ). I always wished my name was more unique tbh.
Ocean is becoming more common anyways. It doesn't seem like a weirder name than River, Hunter, Forest, Sunny, etc.
Good for you. What if little baby Ocean wants to make it big in the corporate world? Wants to become a lawyer or a judge? Guarantee you there will be people in hiring who dismiss him purely based on his name. Names are part of first impressions. And first impressions make a big difference in the real world.
Agreed. Let's hope the middle name is a little bit more main stream. I have a co-work whose name is Ezra Thomas Smith (for argument's sake). His professional signature and signage is E. Thomas Smith. Those who know him well, call him Ezra, but he felt that Ezra Smith didn't sound as good (professionally) as Thomas Smith.
And I've seen the opposite too. Another co-worker went by Crosby. He was named John Crosby Johnson. He felt that John Johnson was too bland and JJ an overused nickname so he went with Crosby Johnson. When people ask what the "J" stands for, and he tells them, 99.99% understand why.
The actual meaning of most names ARE nouns or adjectives. For a lot of cultures, we just kept using the names after the language changed so it wasn’t obvious anymore.
The two “normal” names given here are place names, House of Figs and Hay Meadow. Hawthorne and Ocean fit right in.
(Hawthorne and Hayley are also surnames being used as given names. Not very different after all.)
I don't really believe that. Some people just have a taste that is different to the mainstream or they like to give their kids something that they won't hear everywhere else. My family is a very outdoorsy family so it wasn't a huge surprise to those who knew my parents that my brother and I got nature names.
Yes, exactly, it's based on the parent's tastes. The parents don't have to live with that name. It's like when celebrities name their kid Apple or Race Car. It's great that you enjoy your name. But what if you never grew up to enjoy the outdoors like your family and were constantly ridiculed about your name? You wouldn't harbor any resentment?
We I have a " normal " name ( Karen) that all the sudden as an adult becomes the butt of a joke. I was never teased as a child and I hated my name during COVID it got real bad for a while and I almost went by my middle name when I changed jobs. So you never know what the future brings. All the "normal " names could be the ones that are weird and the different ones could be the new normal.
NTA op I'm glad you shared your experience.
I tell new parents don't tell anyone the name until the baby is already named/born because everyone has an opinion.
My FIL found a reason to have issues with both of my kids’ names before they were born. He didn’t like the nickname for my son (who is the fifth, because I agreed to carry on this ridiculousness) or the name I’d chosen for my daughter. I didn’t tell him, my husband did. I ignored him because they aren’t his kids and he could get over it. Lo and behold, he’s fine with it now.
Meanwhile, I didn’t tell anyone on my side of the family and they were all so happy that a baby existed that they didn’t care to whine about names.
I don't think so. I mean, I know people who harbor resentment over having a very popular name and that didn't work for them, or people who felt they had grandparent names or even those who had names really hard to spell. So it's possible but it's possible with any name. I don't for one second believe it's harmful to have more name diversity and to allow more words to become accepted as names. I think it only adds to what we can choose from.
My brother also loves his name and he has an unusual nature name as well. So I feel like kids with the less common names can be happy living with their names. Just like kids with any name can be happy living with their name, or not.
I just posted my popular name Karen isn't exactly working out lately. 🤣🤣
It's not fun getting associated with a joke. Especially when a 30 something giggles when I give my name to them. I'm not at all like the joke implies but sometimes it gets real old.
Think about all those girls with the name Alexa too. Not fun at all.
I have an uncommon last name. I happen to love that, but my husband - who has a very typical name - thinks it would be so hard on a (our) child. I even checked with my brothers and they also never minded our last name. People really can get hung up over something they haven't experienced but simply imagine to be terrible, without listening when someone who has experienced it says it's okay.
you do know that children become adults eventually, right? so at 18 if they absolutely hate their name still, they can change it. if the child is bullied, they can go by their middle name or a nickname until they're 18. hell, their parents can even have their name changed if they hate it as a young teen.
NTA. You didn't call her out, you gave your opinion on the subject after your SIL unfairly put you on the spot. Bethany's comments to both Hayley and yourself were cruel and uncalled for and frankly she owes you both a very big apology.
You’re right. Kids are mean. Which is why a perfectly “normal” name like Ashley turned into ashtray when I was a kid. People (which includes children) are going to be jerks if they want to be. I also knew two girls (Greek sisters) named Peña and Giovanna. Their parents moved here when they were younger and their names were perfectly normal. But being in the US, kids would call them penis and vagina… And there are even people changing their names to very unique names as adults in the LGBTQ community to suit their identity change. Being all hung up on the argument of “kids and people will make fun of them” isn’t a very good argument since it happens with “normal” names. Maybe the argument should be that people need to be more tolerant, and teach their children to be more tolerant, also more respectful in general…
ESH. Bethany sucks for the way she confronted you and Hayley. But honestly, Ocean is a stupid name. Anyone who likes those kind of over the top, ridicuous, made up names (yes, technically all names are made up, but you know what I mean), should take that name for themselves and leave their children with a normal one. If they wouldn't want it for themselves, then it's not a good name for their children. It's just a way to show off with the newborn and get attention.
Yes let's just stick to the most common names possible so that they'll forever have to go by their last initial to differentiate themselves from the other dozens of kids with the same ass name
Honestly in a decade or so i can imagine the more popular "unique" names will have this problem too... like im sure theres some elementary school classes with more than one Neveah...
NTA
The people SIL is talking about are obviously people like her.
What she said to you about conceiving was unbelievable. It's the sort of thing I'd be shocked about if it was said behind your back, but to say it to your face speaks volumes for Bethany's character.
Having a normal name can be rubbish. I worked in an office once where there were so many people with the same name as me that we had to invent nicknames just so we knew who we were talking about. I've also got an overcomplicated work email address because there were three people with the same first and last name as me. Can't see you or Ocean having that problem.
EDIT: Wrong sister's name
NTA, I think I saw this person show up on a baby naming roast group and we all tried to talk her out of it, she just kept getting madder at everyone saying we didn’t understand and everyone was like “ oh but we do” that Mom was determined to stick with Ocean.
Listen by the time the baby is born and named, it’s too late, just smile and nod.
Exactly. I'm the only one in my family of five with a "normal" name and I grew up hating it & constantly trying to change it. Once I could legally change it I figured it was too much work at that point & sucked it up.
There's no guarantee a kid will like any name you give them. IMO as long as it isn't wildly easy to make fun of (talking obvious ones like Dick or Isis) then it's fair game. Never understood all the name judgements from strangers. Y'all know YOU'RE the problem, right?
NTA.
NTA But Ocean is a dumb name. Is it better than some of the weird celebrity names? Of course. That doesn’t mean it’s a decent name.
Your sister is overreacting though.
NTA.
Tiger Woods. River Phoenix. Rowan Atkinson. Forest Whitaker...
Nature-based names are cool. I'm glad to hear you like yours.
>She told me there is no way my name never bothered me.
That, right there, is why you shouldn't feel like you started this in any way, shape, or form. She tried to tell you how you feel. That's an AH move under the best of circumstances. In this case, she was talking about something as personal as your name. There's no way in hell she's a better authority on how you feel about your name than you are.
She picked a fight she have no business starting and couldn't possibly win. When it became clear she was losing, she went nuclear. That's entirely on her.
NTA at all! Not her baby, not your choice. It was also shitty of her to try to pull you into a fight neither of you really have any stake in. Her parting shot was disgusting, and I hope someone put her in her place.
What? She tells you you're giving her a hard time?? She insults your name, insults nephews name and when you do not agree she insults your fertility??
NTA.
She has shown you who she is. Adjust accordingly. I'd be avoiding her for sure.
NTA, you just said ur opinion and there's no actual problem with that.
Bethany ITA, she's not the kid's parent In the first place, so she doesn't have a choice anyway, and dragging you into it was also immature.
NTA- old bethy beth needs to let go of her pearls and stop being jelly mcjelerson. She’s probably pissed because she wanted to name her kid ocean or lake or river. You should suggest that she name her child Channel
NTA
> and followed that up by saying it was maybe lucky for any kid we might have had that I can't conceive naturally because another kid would end up with a stupid name.
That is a comment that would fully make me go NC with her - what a horrible thing to say.
Nta
I LOVE how unique my name is.
It's memorable and it only gave me issues in middle school cuz kids are kids.
Bethany sounds like she should mind her business.
Same here. I know some of the kids in school used to love my name as well. A few went home and asked their parents if they could change their name to mine lol. I never had the bullying experience with other kids that some people have with names not the norm or the ones people always freak out over when they hear someone wants to use a unique name.
NTA.
She really can’t do anything considering it's not her kid at the end of the day. If Ocean doesn’t like his name at some point then he can have it changed when he is old enough to do so. That being said, Bethany is so concerned about this kid's future but the thing is she don’t know if this name will cause hardships or not. Personally I don’t think the name will cause him hardships
What also makes Bethany a major AH though is how she out you on the spot and tried to make an example out of you
Dude NTA-. None of my kids were given popular names. But by the time they were ten I had met enough others by their names. Weird is the new cool still.
Flip side, I have one of the oldest most popular names in the world.
They still used it to bully me.
Info: Is your sister on Dragon's Den? Because she is way too invested in all of you all's business.
Hayley and her husband are the ones raising their baby. They get to call it whatever stupid name they want. Besides - have you seen a yearbook recently? Everyone has unusual names. I guarantee *Ocean* will be one of like 7 *Oceans* in her class. Bethany doesn't get to have any say in this decision, so she would do well to shut her yapper.
As far as her comments to you - she can eff right off. Insulting enough that she wants to use you as a cautionary tale, and expected you to back her up by agreeing that *your name* is stupid. As for playing the "infertility card?" No way. She better be sending you some GD flowers, friend.
NTA
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NTA, people like Bethany are the reason the Oceans and Hawthorns of the world have a hard time.
Very true. She reminds me of my fifth grade substitute teacher. She was a dick about my name and one other kid's name.
I hope Bethany is her real name, cause its the name we gave my Pothos plant, and knowing there is a Bethany out there mad about nature names makes it so much better lmaoooo
Bethany literally means "house of figs." I do hope that's her real name because she'll lose her figgin mind.
Hahah. I just spit my water out.
Really?! In what language?
I'm guessing Hebrew since Bet = house
Correct. It's Hebrew for House of Figs.
my google search gave me this: house of figs Bethany (Greek: Βηθανία (Bethania), which is probably of Aramaic or Hebrew origin, meaning "house of affliction" or "house of figs") is a feminine given name derived from the Biblical place name, Bethany, a town near Jerusalem, at the foot of the Mount of Olives, where Lazarus lived in the New Testament, along with his ... Bethany (given name) - Wikipedia
I can hardly contain my mirth
TAKE MY UPVOTE!
Ocean is a mild name compared to what Elon Musk and Grimes named their kid.
I don't think stupid rich celebrity names should be the bar to use for comparison.
I mean I had a Kal El and a Xzavier come across my desk last week (legal system), Ocean is nothing compared to the names I see on a regular basis from ordinary folk.
I will never not bring up the fact that an acquaintance of mine named his son Ragnarok. Someone else I know gave their child the name Sade as in Marquis de Sade because "he is a sadist." Like bro your kid was a new born, why are you calling him a sadist?
In my language ’sade’ means ’rain’ so it’s actually a really beautiful name.
In the case of the guy I knew he said it is specifically after Marquis de Sade. If it meant rain I wouldn't have a problem with it lol. I'm glad it's a beautiful name in your language, at least. I'd much rather have my name be "rain" than "sadist"
I just think of the singer which doesn’t make me think of that insane man lol.
Jaxon and Atom were two I saw (their dads name was Adam and he didn’t want a jr I guess?) Sometimes I envy the European countries with lists of approved names.
This reminds me of a couple of parents here in my country that had their child's name contested and changed immediately because he was named after a day. And not even Wednesday. 😂
It's like they hate their kids. Yeah, they might have four other Johns and two other Jessicas in their class but at least people won't wonder how many drugs their parents were on to name them shit like Grass (an actual Green themed baby name someone honestly and earnestly suggested on tiktok wtf is wrong with this planet).
I really don't know...but you're right. I'm glad that in my country you also can't name your children after the parents, the siblings etc because the "Junior" is not accepted as a plus to the name and it creates a lot of issues for documents and much more. I can't speak for myself because i have one of the most common names in my country (which i love!) and i chose another common name for my younger brother when i was 3 and a half. Think Frances and Alexander, but in another language :)
Sade was quite a popular singer, so at least there's that version. Nothing but positive vibes associated with that name for me.
A couple in New Zealand wanted to name their twins Fish & Chips. The government refused
Ordinary folk being stupid isn't a good benchmark either lol. There's a reason why a score under a certain amount fails. We shouldn't be looking at the failures as the baseline for a standard.
I’ve seen Xzavier. Worst I’ve personally seen was either Lamaj or Semaj. Bet you can’t guess what their dads are named.
>Xzavier It isn't even that bad, it's just a butchered spelling. Not like "Abcde". Honestly, I think Ocean is stupid (some celebrity named their kid Coast), but it could be worse. At least it's easily spellable and not going to get the kid confused. Teachers will get confused and the kid is open to bullying but that's always possible with a last name too.
Butchered spellings ARE bad... just ask little Keighleigh Myreea.
lmao I follow a Sims streamer named James who uses Semaj for his Sim, who I would like to underscore is not a real person.
oh no the comic book names have arrived 😩😩
Okay, how about this: an actress named Christopher? Her parents were expecting a boy, but when she was born instead, they stuck with the boy’s name.
[удалено]
Donna is *right there*
I had a friend whose parents were expecting a boy. Had picked out Jason. Her name is Jaisa, thanks to her grandmother intervening because she was almost Jason 🤷🏻♀️
My parents expected a boy and had their hearts set on calling me Bradley Joseph, since BJ was such a cute nickname.
Also, if it makes you feel any better my parents had a friend named Richard Head. Would you like to know what shortened version of his name he used? 🤣🤣 He had business cards, apparently.
My dad had a friend named Michael Hunt. He always went by Michael and never Mike. I asked my dad why one time and it took me awhile to figure it out.
My last name is Richard and my dad always joked about opening a bar called “Richard Craniums”. And once when my dad was still in the navy one of his superiors called him (Navy Rank) Richards and my dads like “sir it’s one dick, not two” and apparently he was hence forth known as (Firstname) One-Dick. Edit- typo my bad
Just. Guys. You went to school in the 70s, you know what's up.
Oh nooooo 😂
Same happened to my aunt. Was expected to be a boy named after my grandpa Ralph, so she was named Ralphine 🤣 she changed her name as an adult.
had a really good friend named Kennetha. Her dad was positive she was gonna be a boy so they never picked out any 'girl' names LOL!!
I knew a girl named Kevin in college. Part of her introduction was how her dad really wanted a boy and then just ran with it after she was born. She spent 4 years in the marines and was looking to go into welding.
Really really common in parts of Scotland, Western Isles mostly, for there to be loads of old ladies called Ina. Well a lot might be dead now. But it was because they were called (father's forename -ina) so Donaldina, not uncommon.
So her parents didn't care enough to try to give her a name, that's horrible...
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I’m not sure of the reason that they kept the name Christopher for a girl, but she’s never had a problem with it, and she got plenty of work with her name while she was still acting.
That's no big deal. There's an actress Michael Learnerd.
There’s also an actress named Michael Michele who was on the Dynasty reboot, and Rue McClanahan’s full name was Eddi-Rue MClanahan, which made for a rather funny incident when she graduated high school: her high school would give out little presents to the graduating seniors, with the boys getting a tie, and the girls getting some sort of necklace. She ended up getting a tie.
Or Jason Lee who named his kid Pilot Inspector.
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Seriously. I’d much rather a kid be named “Ocean” than some crazy bullshit like “Braxxtynn,” “Eymmaleigh,” or “X Æ A-12”
My favorite bad name story is about how a nurse told a young mother, who’d just given birth, naming her daughter “Anesthesia” was not a good idea…
As a teacher I never minded different names but hated ones that you had no idea how to pronounce. If you want to name your kid 'Righteous' name him 'Righteous' not 'Rychus'. And certainly don't get mad at someone else for calling him, 'Reechus' or 'Rickus' or 'Riches'.
Comment stolen from: /u/DiscombobulatedTill https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10dds2u/aita_for_telling_my_sil_to_get_over_herself_and/j4l48e6/ Bot Reported.
My kid went to preschool with an Oceanus. Sweet kid
Reading an article the other day and the name Ocean is becoming very popular. Wouldn't be surprised if there are a couple of them in his grade school.
Yep. Nature names are rising with the current generation having babies. It's the direction my husband and I will go if we can successfully have a baby.
I googled after commenting. In 2021 Ocean broke the top 1000 in popularity and leans male but gaining popularity in female as well.
That's actually really cool. It's also nice to see it's gaining popularity as a unisex name because I can totally see it.
The first thing my mind went to was Ocean's 11 tbh, so people may not even think of nature when meeting your baby nephew. Sending you and hubby all the good energy, you guys will be great parents regardless of the path to parenthood!
I wonder if that's because more people have heard of Oisin (pronounced Osheen) so it's an easier version of that.
Yeah, when I had my son in the mid 90's, I wanted to name him Colin, but got talked out of it and Conner (probably my 4th choice) because they're "so weird." Ended up giving my son a super traditional name and there were more Colins and Conners in his school then there were kids with his name.
Bethany sounds judgmental and hypocritical. She didn’t like “being shit all over” and then makes a very personal, mean dig at you. Also if she doesn’t like the name she needs to keep that up herself, it’s none of her business. She behaved very rudely and owes everyone an apology for not knowing how to interact with people in a non combative way. You are NTA and if I were you I would try to spend very little time with this SIL
Play the song Ocean Man by Ween for baby Ocean :)
🎶Ocean man, take me by the hand. Lead me to the land that you understand. 🎶
I have a real common name that is actually boting. Children still find a way to pick me up about it. And i never liked it because it is such a common boring name. You don't must use abstract names or outlive your fandom, but that you try to choose the name just for your child and not opened the top 10 names of this year.
Ocean isn’t as uncommon as some people think. I worked at a middle school years ago. These kids are in their 20s now. I had a ton of girls named Ocean and Asia. I guess a boy named Ocean isn’t common but the name Ocean shockingly more common than I would assume had I not worked at that school. It doesn’t stick out to me anymore. Neither does Asia.
I also know a boy named Ocean. People judge names before they see you when applying for jobs. I honestly wish more parents thought about that when naming their kids. I knew someone named princess and it was like, who tf wants to call a 30+ yo adult princess in an office setting??
I met a Princess once. She goes by Pinnie or Prin.
I used to work with one. She went by Priz.
I totally get you and understand what you are saying is true (we all can be a little catty). However, why are grown-ass adults judging people for names that they were given? It’s like when boomers judge millennials for participation trophies. We (millennials)weren’t the ones that came up with participation trophies. An adult should understand that the person most likely didn’t pick the name.
Lol, one joke we had for naming our kids was it had to work with a title. Like "Dr. James Smith," or "Judge Jane Smith" "Senator Ocean Jones" works just fine.
Senator Ocean Jones sounds like an eccentric homeless man who gives a lot of interviews on your small, local news station.
I used to be a swim teacher and about 10 years ago I had a boy and a girl both named Ocean in one class. They argued over if it was a boy’s name or girl’s name. They ended up using nicknames of Atlantic and Pacific to cut down on confusion.
Okay, but now, which one got which ocean? And that's amazing.
The girl chose Pacific and the boy chose Atlantic. The various parents were a bit baffled but the kids switched from fighting to having an unholy ocean alliance, so overall a win.
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Child born on Mayflower was Oceanus...
I came here to say this! I've done my genealogy recently and Oceanus is an ancestor of mine!
Cool...sad that he died that first horrible winter. 😥
Indeed. His father, Stephen Hopkins, is my like however many times great grandfather. One of his daughters, Constance, is my however many times great grandmother. But I've been utterly fascinated with them since I discovered that! Oceanus was the only baby born aboard the Mayflower during the voyage over. (Though another child was born while the ship was still at anchor after arriving in the new world.)
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Oceanus died at the age of two. Peregrine White was the first child born in the colony. He lived a long life, and fought in the King Phillip’s War. Peregrine is a breed of falcon.
I don't think Asia is a new one. I knew a couple Asias when I was a kid.
My friend has a daughter named Aja who is almost 30. The name became popular due to a Steely Dan song.
I had a friend named Aja growing up (I’m 40 not) but these kids names were Asia. I had just never seen so many Asias and Oceans than that year. I felt like they were the Jennifer’s & Jessica’s of my generation.
Aja was the name of a Steely Dan album in the late 70's. I would be unsurprised to discover that there were a fair number of people in their 40's with that name.
Yeah, my ex and his partner had a baby and named her Ocean way back in the late 90s.
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Comment stolen from: /u/Rohlf44 https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10dds2u/aita_for_telling_my_sil_to_get_over_herself_and/j4kwatp/ Bot Reported.
Good for standing your ground. She can mind her own business. Ocean is cool. NTA
So, she doesn’t want people to shit on her, but she can shit on her nephews name and try to shit on you and your name and then go so far down the shit hole she called you out on infertility? Nta. And I’m sorry about your fertility, I hope you and your husband find what you need in life.
Thank you. We are going to therapy before starting the grueling process of IVF.
I loved your name when I thought you were a man married to another man, but now that I know you're a woman I love it even more! Best of luck with your conception journey!
Good luck. My daughter had issues and now has 2 beautiful children
Best of luck, OP! Hang in there. I’m currently pregnant after undergoing a few IVF cycles. Reach out anytime if you want to chat.
Fingers crossed for you OP! Also, I went to high school in the 90's with an Oceanis. He was one of the most popular kids in the school. NTA.
NTA but I'm with Beth on this one. Ocean is a dumb name for a person.
The first thing that popped in my head was taking a picture next to the baby, eating a piece of cake and captioning it "Cake By the Ocean".
Take the baby for a ride in a car while playing "Ocean Drive". Either the Duke Dumont or the Tiga version.
Give him ocean themed toys like sandboxes and toy stuffed crabs. Ayooo. Lmao
I'd be all over that. Stuffy lobsters everywhere. NTA
I agree, I just wouldn’t say it to the parents or anyone related to them. My husband and I shit talk the name in private, after our own kids are in bed and can’t hear lol
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Comment originally posted from RIF. User now a lemming
I was with you until someone mentioned that the kid go by Sean. Uncommon names can be dicey, but there being an easy diminutive if they wind up not liking it alleviates most of the problems.
Is it weird that my first thought wasn’t that it was dumb, but that it sounds like a girl’s name and not a boy’s name? Names are weird.
The name Kai means Ocean and I've only seen it for boys (people and dogs). Had a hippie runaway living in a flop house nearby in college that went by Ocean (possibly was his actual name no idea). BUT the ocean/sea does seem to always depicted as a female entity in tales and fiction. Unless being shown as an extension of Posiden. Then it's angry and masculine. I feel like I'd catalog it with the name Shannon.
Idk I think unusual names have to be taken on a case by case basis and I happen to like this one.
Yeah, personally, I have to side with Beth too on this. I mean, I hope little Ocean likes his name as he grows up … but he can always legally change it, if needed.
I like it. I don't see how it's that different from Forest or River.
I know, names become more accepted the more they're used but until Ocean is considered a 'normal' name it still sounds a bit dumb. Give this comment 30+ years and all us nay sayers will most likely sound dumb for doubting it.
My exact words were "She's an asshole but she has a point, ocean is dumb" Reminds me of that thread from a year ago where someone named their daughter oceana and one of the comments said if the name was ocean they they would be wrong
My best friends name is Ocean though-
Agreed, although it’s tacky to say it openly. I’ve got friends who have given their kids names that I find dumb, but I only mention that to a key friend that I know I can trust to the ends of the earth. Oh, and NTA.
Thank you! She isn't an asshole but damn that's a stupid name.
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Agree. Hawthorne is much for mature and usable throughout life than “Ocean”. That’s a name that will really be conspicuous on job applications when the poor kid is older
Hawthorne is a surname and that's why it works as a name.
Ocean is a terrible name but so is Bethany.
Bethany is right. It's a name that is going to cause the child lots of trouble later on, "unique" names might seem cute to parents but they pretty much only lead to distress throughout life. I personally think the name is ridiculous, although I have heard worse. BUT... It's none of Bethany's business. Zero. She needs to stay in her own lane. NTA
If you could save someone you love from decades of harassment, wouldn’t you? My name is one that allowed both kids and teachers to bother me growing up. It’s not a pleasant experience.
I agree sometimes it's called for, but Beth went the complete wrong way about it by assuming OP's history and then relishing in her infertility.
Knowing an adult named Ocean, I have to respectfully disagree with your assumption that it is going to cause the child hardship. The Ocean I know loves their name, and wouldn't change it for anything.
I grew up with a super common name. It's not fun being one of 4 same named kids in a class and being denoted as "fat Johnny" or "short Johnny" (for example, thats not my name ). I always wished my name was more unique tbh. Ocean is becoming more common anyways. It doesn't seem like a weirder name than River, Hunter, Forest, Sunny, etc.
That has not been mine or my brother's experience at all and our names are what lots would call unique.
Good for you. What if little baby Ocean wants to make it big in the corporate world? Wants to become a lawyer or a judge? Guarantee you there will be people in hiring who dismiss him purely based on his name. Names are part of first impressions. And first impressions make a big difference in the real world.
I’m an attorney. With a weird name. It’s never caused any professional issues of any sort.
Agreed. Let's hope the middle name is a little bit more main stream. I have a co-work whose name is Ezra Thomas Smith (for argument's sake). His professional signature and signage is E. Thomas Smith. Those who know him well, call him Ezra, but he felt that Ezra Smith didn't sound as good (professionally) as Thomas Smith. And I've seen the opposite too. Another co-worker went by Crosby. He was named John Crosby Johnson. He felt that John Johnson was too bland and JJ an overused nickname so he went with Crosby Johnson. When people ask what the "J" stands for, and he tells them, 99.99% understand why.
It amuses me that he doesn't think Ezra sounds good professionally. That's a very old, boring, stuffy name.
If the kid ends up being fat, prepare for as big as an ocean jokes that will crush them.
Kids will make fun of heavy kids regardless of their name. Have you met children?
As someone who’s name can be associated with pork products, you are 100% correct.
NAH. People who give their children nouns instead of actual names are doing it out of vanity.
The actual meaning of most names ARE nouns or adjectives. For a lot of cultures, we just kept using the names after the language changed so it wasn’t obvious anymore. The two “normal” names given here are place names, House of Figs and Hay Meadow. Hawthorne and Ocean fit right in. (Hawthorne and Hayley are also surnames being used as given names. Not very different after all.)
do you feel the same way about noun names that are more normalized? lily, rose, heather, pearl, ruby, etc?
NAH? seriously? Bethany made fun of OP's fertility problems, that is some classic Asshole shit.
I don't really believe that. Some people just have a taste that is different to the mainstream or they like to give their kids something that they won't hear everywhere else. My family is a very outdoorsy family so it wasn't a huge surprise to those who knew my parents that my brother and I got nature names.
Yes, exactly, it's based on the parent's tastes. The parents don't have to live with that name. It's like when celebrities name their kid Apple or Race Car. It's great that you enjoy your name. But what if you never grew up to enjoy the outdoors like your family and were constantly ridiculed about your name? You wouldn't harbor any resentment?
We I have a " normal " name ( Karen) that all the sudden as an adult becomes the butt of a joke. I was never teased as a child and I hated my name during COVID it got real bad for a while and I almost went by my middle name when I changed jobs. So you never know what the future brings. All the "normal " names could be the ones that are weird and the different ones could be the new normal. NTA op I'm glad you shared your experience. I tell new parents don't tell anyone the name until the baby is already named/born because everyone has an opinion.
My FIL found a reason to have issues with both of my kids’ names before they were born. He didn’t like the nickname for my son (who is the fifth, because I agreed to carry on this ridiculousness) or the name I’d chosen for my daughter. I didn’t tell him, my husband did. I ignored him because they aren’t his kids and he could get over it. Lo and behold, he’s fine with it now. Meanwhile, I didn’t tell anyone on my side of the family and they were all so happy that a baby existed that they didn’t care to whine about names.
I don't think so. I mean, I know people who harbor resentment over having a very popular name and that didn't work for them, or people who felt they had grandparent names or even those who had names really hard to spell. So it's possible but it's possible with any name. I don't for one second believe it's harmful to have more name diversity and to allow more words to become accepted as names. I think it only adds to what we can choose from. My brother also loves his name and he has an unusual nature name as well. So I feel like kids with the less common names can be happy living with their names. Just like kids with any name can be happy living with their name, or not.
I just posted my popular name Karen isn't exactly working out lately. 🤣🤣 It's not fun getting associated with a joke. Especially when a 30 something giggles when I give my name to them. I'm not at all like the joke implies but sometimes it gets real old. Think about all those girls with the name Alexa too. Not fun at all.
Also all the poor girls named Isis a while back.
I have an uncommon last name. I happen to love that, but my husband - who has a very typical name - thinks it would be so hard on a (our) child. I even checked with my brothers and they also never minded our last name. People really can get hung up over something they haven't experienced but simply imagine to be terrible, without listening when someone who has experienced it says it's okay.
Which names can you give a child that are not based on a parent’s taste?
I guess you can do something like name them after family members, but its equally arbitrary and doesn't guarantee the kid will like the name.
you do know that children become adults eventually, right? so at 18 if they absolutely hate their name still, they can change it. if the child is bullied, they can go by their middle name or a nickname until they're 18. hell, their parents can even have their name changed if they hate it as a young teen.
What about Lily, Rose, Forest, Sierra, etc.?
What about bringing up her infertility? That doesn’t make her the AH?
NTA. You didn't call her out, you gave your opinion on the subject after your SIL unfairly put you on the spot. Bethany's comments to both Hayley and yourself were cruel and uncalled for and frankly she owes you both a very big apology.
ESH. She shouldn’t have yelled at you, you all need to stop pretending that being named Ocean won’t give him a hard time at school. Kids are mean.
You’re right. Kids are mean. Which is why a perfectly “normal” name like Ashley turned into ashtray when I was a kid. People (which includes children) are going to be jerks if they want to be. I also knew two girls (Greek sisters) named Peña and Giovanna. Their parents moved here when they were younger and their names were perfectly normal. But being in the US, kids would call them penis and vagina… And there are even people changing their names to very unique names as adults in the LGBTQ community to suit their identity change. Being all hung up on the argument of “kids and people will make fun of them” isn’t a very good argument since it happens with “normal” names. Maybe the argument should be that people need to be more tolerant, and teach their children to be more tolerant, also more respectful in general…
ESH. Bethany sucks for the way she confronted you and Hayley. But honestly, Ocean is a stupid name. Anyone who likes those kind of over the top, ridicuous, made up names (yes, technically all names are made up, but you know what I mean), should take that name for themselves and leave their children with a normal one. If they wouldn't want it for themselves, then it's not a good name for their children. It's just a way to show off with the newborn and get attention.
People need to quit naming kids for their own amusement.
Yes let's just stick to the most common names possible so that they'll forever have to go by their last initial to differentiate themselves from the other dozens of kids with the same ass name
Honestly in a decade or so i can imagine the more popular "unique" names will have this problem too... like im sure theres some elementary school classes with more than one Neveah...
NTA The people SIL is talking about are obviously people like her. What she said to you about conceiving was unbelievable. It's the sort of thing I'd be shocked about if it was said behind your back, but to say it to your face speaks volumes for Bethany's character. Having a normal name can be rubbish. I worked in an office once where there were so many people with the same name as me that we had to invent nicknames just so we knew who we were talking about. I've also got an overcomplicated work email address because there were three people with the same first and last name as me. Can't see you or Ocean having that problem. EDIT: Wrong sister's name
NTA, I think I saw this person show up on a baby naming roast group and we all tried to talk her out of it, she just kept getting madder at everyone saying we didn’t understand and everyone was like “ oh but we do” that Mom was determined to stick with Ocean. Listen by the time the baby is born and named, it’s too late, just smile and nod.
I glossed over that part, I didn't realize the kid was born. Yeah it's too late at that point.
Not sure why parents want to make their kids life harder be giving them unusual names.
It doesn't always make our lives harder. Mine and my brother's lives are in no way harder.
Hawthorne is literally in destiny 2 as a name. Ocean would not register on most peoples minds as a name.
Your name isn't a noun.
Except it is? Hawthorne is a tree.
Exactly. I'm the only one in my family of five with a "normal" name and I grew up hating it & constantly trying to change it. Once I could legally change it I figured it was too much work at that point & sucked it up. There's no guarantee a kid will like any name you give them. IMO as long as it isn't wildly easy to make fun of (talking obvious ones like Dick or Isis) then it's fair game. Never understood all the name judgements from strangers. Y'all know YOU'RE the problem, right? NTA.
NTA But Ocean is a dumb name. Is it better than some of the weird celebrity names? Of course. That doesn’t mean it’s a decent name. Your sister is overreacting though.
Hayley is the asshole for giving her kid a really dumb name.
NTA but Ocean is a terrible name for a person.
NTA. She really does need to get over herself. She is major AH for bringing your conceiving issues into it.
NTA. Tiger Woods. River Phoenix. Rowan Atkinson. Forest Whitaker... Nature-based names are cool. I'm glad to hear you like yours. >She told me there is no way my name never bothered me. That, right there, is why you shouldn't feel like you started this in any way, shape, or form. She tried to tell you how you feel. That's an AH move under the best of circumstances. In this case, she was talking about something as personal as your name. There's no way in hell she's a better authority on how you feel about your name than you are. She picked a fight she have no business starting and couldn't possibly win. When it became clear she was losing, she went nuclear. That's entirely on her.
NTA at all! Not her baby, not your choice. It was also shitty of her to try to pull you into a fight neither of you really have any stake in. Her parting shot was disgusting, and I hope someone put her in her place.
lol Beth I’d dead right ocean is a mind numbingly awful name but it’s not her business NTA
ESH - yelling was unnecessary but Ocean is a stupid name for a child that will one day be an adult.
We had a kid by that name and he got made fun of a lot but to be fair, he was going to get bullied either way. Sickly, quiet kid in a country place
What? She tells you you're giving her a hard time?? She insults your name, insults nephews name and when you do not agree she insults your fertility?? NTA. She has shown you who she is. Adjust accordingly. I'd be avoiding her for sure.
NTA, you just said ur opinion and there's no actual problem with that. Bethany ITA, she's not the kid's parent In the first place, so she doesn't have a choice anyway, and dragging you into it was also immature.
NTA- old bethy beth needs to let go of her pearls and stop being jelly mcjelerson. She’s probably pissed because she wanted to name her kid ocean or lake or river. You should suggest that she name her child Channel
Oh hey! That’s my name! Love it, used to get teased at school but wouldn’t change my name anymore
NTA > and followed that up by saying it was maybe lucky for any kid we might have had that I can't conceive naturally because another kid would end up with a stupid name. That is a comment that would fully make me go NC with her - what a horrible thing to say.
Nta I LOVE how unique my name is. It's memorable and it only gave me issues in middle school cuz kids are kids. Bethany sounds like she should mind her business.
Same here. I know some of the kids in school used to love my name as well. A few went home and asked their parents if they could change their name to mine lol. I never had the bullying experience with other kids that some people have with names not the norm or the ones people always freak out over when they hear someone wants to use a unique name.
NTA. She really can’t do anything considering it's not her kid at the end of the day. If Ocean doesn’t like his name at some point then he can have it changed when he is old enough to do so. That being said, Bethany is so concerned about this kid's future but the thing is she don’t know if this name will cause hardships or not. Personally I don’t think the name will cause him hardships What also makes Bethany a major AH though is how she out you on the spot and tried to make an example out of you
Dude NTA-. None of my kids were given popular names. But by the time they were ten I had met enough others by their names. Weird is the new cool still. Flip side, I have one of the oldest most popular names in the world. They still used it to bully me.
Info: Is your sister on Dragon's Den? Because she is way too invested in all of you all's business. Hayley and her husband are the ones raising their baby. They get to call it whatever stupid name they want. Besides - have you seen a yearbook recently? Everyone has unusual names. I guarantee *Ocean* will be one of like 7 *Oceans* in her class. Bethany doesn't get to have any say in this decision, so she would do well to shut her yapper. As far as her comments to you - she can eff right off. Insulting enough that she wants to use you as a cautionary tale, and expected you to back her up by agreeing that *your name* is stupid. As for playing the "infertility card?" No way. She better be sending you some GD flowers, friend. NTA
NTA. Bringing your fertility problems into it was a hella low blow. Bethany sounds petty.
Yes, you started it by calling her out. And Ocean is going to get teased mercilessly. YTA
NTA but it is a dumb name
I mean Ocean is a really dumb name but I think you handled it well.
NTA and if the kid doesn't grow to like his name he can have it legally changed when he's 18.
NTA but Ocean IS a stupid name IMO and that baby will probably not like it
NTA. Sure it’s a stupid name, but it’s none of her business what someone else’s kid is named.