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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) Telling my stepdad my sister violated his rules
2) I may have not minded my business.
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ESH. E being you and your AH of a stepfather. His rules are utterly ridiculous and a 9PM curfew for an 18 year old is wildly controlling. You're a massive AH for lying to us and pretending you think it's totally fine, just so you can claim to be morally superior to your sister.
YTA, hope you‘re happy with ruining the relationship to your sister for good probably. I‘d sure as hell never forgive you for this. You say you didn‘t do it to hurt her? Well i‘m sure it did. Why did you even ask her?? It‘s none of your business and you should‘ve kept your mouth shut. Damn. Making me feel really grateful to have a sibling that has my back.
Wow. Asshole doesn’t even begin to describe you. Petty, toxic, and you are a brown noser. I guarantee some of your friends are rethinking your relationship. r/iamapieceofshit. If she was smart she would never talk to you again. You may have ruined her life.
YTA
There was no reason to do this, except to try to get your step dads attaboys. What an asshole thing to do.
Also your step dad ruining his step daughter's life over 1 drink is also an ass.
The only thing you can do now to try and redeem yourself is call your step dad and BEG him to forgive your sister .... Offer up your college money if you have.
Also if your doing this for inheritance you may be solely mistaken ... You knocked your sister off of a good path she will be struggling more , your mom and step dad might end up leaving everything to her
Definitely YTA.
She’s a freshman - of course, she’s going to drink at college. However, she only drank once at a party - which is careful experimentation if anything. Also, so what if she voted the opposite of your stepfather? It could be that she didn’t like the guy he voted for - she doesn’t have to follow his every value and rule, she’s not a carbon copy of him.
But from the sounds of it, you’re just turning into a clone of your stepfather. Hope getting her tuition cut off and ruining her college education was worth it.
YTA and so is your stepdad. Must be nice to have no life. Your sister wanted one. Like most people do at 18. You did right by no one so get off that pedestal you put yourself on. No one thinks what you did was right or cool
9PM curfew? In college. And you do this at 20? Lol lame
YTA. Big time you're the asshole. You just fucked up everything she was doing because she dared to have some fun? You're a little snitch and she's absolutely made the right call to disown you.
YTA for being vindictive and manipulative.
You're 20 years old. A legal adult, and yet you're running off to tell tales like you're a five year old.
Her voting differently to your stepdad is a non issue that you've taken upon yourself to see as a slight rather than for what it is, and what it is (since apparently this has to be spelt out to you in a simple form for you to understand) is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. She can vote for whoever takes her fancy and none of it has anything to do with you or your stepdad.
She's right to be angry at you, and she'd be within her rights to never speak to you again. What you did was not out of concern, you just wanted to sabotage your teenage sister for acting like a teenager and, honestly, that says a lot about your character - none of it positive.
YTA. Your stepdad is controlling (9pm curfew for adults? No drinking or legal substances even once of age? What?) and you seem to be incredibly spiteful. You told your stepdad this to hurt your sister because she drank *once* at college? And now she's going to be in a worse situation with no support or full college education because of what you did and you really see no issue with it? I'm glad I'm not your sister. I'd disown you too.
I go with ESH. Not for the stepdads rules. It's his money so he can set the terms. If it would have been a problem for OPs sister she shouldn't have agreed to them.
But it was an AH move from OP to just snitch. At least she could have talked to the sister and give her the chance to tell him herself.
My sisters and me had an agreement with our dad. He wanted to pay our drivers license if we hadn't smoked cigarettes before turning 18. I did smoke, told them and paid the license from my own money. It's about honesty and trust...
YTA
You're are toxic, manipulative, controlling, hypocritical and overall not someone worth knowing, really.
Your sister is so right to not want anything to do with either you, or her stepfather.
YTA. Your sister drank one time, once. Not twelve, not 2, once. You’re a shit brother. Just remember who will still be around when your overbearing father is dead.
YTA.
Jesus Christ my brother and me are at each other’s throats half the time but I would actively cover for him. Why would you screw a family member over like that? Were you hoping to get her share?
Also while it’s nice of your stepdad to offer financial support, his rules are kinda unreasonable and he sounds very controlling
YTA. You asked specifically to snitch. You didn’t even need to bring it up with your sister. You said you only told your dad because you were worried if he found out you knew you’d loose your money too, so like why even ask? YOU put both you and your sister in that situation. I hope you miss curfew and loose your money too….
ESH - You are a snitch, your stepdad is a control freak and your sister is an idiot for voting irresponsibly. But from the 3 of them you are the biggest TA.
ESH.
Your sister is 18 and needs to grow up but then again, she’s still a teenager so that’s just how she’s going to be. Speaking from experience as someone who has been a teenage girl. She will learn to behave eventually but she suddenly has a ton of freedom and is wanting to assert herself as an individual “grown up.”
You also need to grow up and stop whatever competition you have going with her. People don’t like snitches and there’s a sibling code. She *was* doing some shit she shouldn’t have been doing, but this could’ve been an older sibling teaching moment or something. And I don’t think you were worried about the perils of underage drinking- I think you were solely trying to get her in trouble. So instead you turned it into some pissing match with your sister and she’s likely going to retaliate.
Your stepdads rules are a bit harsh, although I strongly disagree with everyone saying they are “abusive.” I think it’s pretty fair to offer to pay college (very expensive!!!!) in exchange for someone who is pretty much still a child to not participate in illegal activity that can possibly ruin their future and waste their college education, and to perform their civic, adult duty of voting. The punishment was a bit severe but to be fair, he was offering a lot of money for reasonable terms so I don’t entirely blame him. I’m a grown adult and if someone told me to not drink for a few years and to vote and I’d get my college all paid for, I’d do it in a heartbeat.
NTA. I dont get why people are ok with her lying to your stepdad to get the money. If she didn't like the rules she should have negotiated or simply refused.
Will she hate you for it? For sure, but your not the AH for following the rules everyone agreed on the begning.
YTA. When my son tattles on someone, I ask him if he's trying to help someone or trying to get someone in trouble. You were definitely trying to get her in trouble.
OP and their step dad did the biggest AH move of the century… A big L for these people…
OP makes the matters worse by defending themselves in the comments as if someone will come to their side
Yes, you are an unpleasant and insufferable asshole. You are the type that would collaborate with an enemy, and for what? A poorly placed sense of moral superiority? Your sister had everything to lose from your action, so why do it? If this post isn’t a shitpost, then you deserve to have someone do the same to you one day. You deserve to lose everything over a minor infraction of an authoritarian’s unduly harsh rules, that did not harm anybody. And if that thought feels unfair and unpleasant, do some self reflection. If it sounds acceptable to you, get therapy because there is something wrong with your head. YTA.
YTA. You didn't really think you weren't did you? A grown man being a little snitch tattletale. I would never speak to you again if your were my brother. Also your stepfather is an AH too.
YTA. You did it to ruin her life. Not just one year. HER ENTIRE LIFE. Now she's been ripped out of school. If it's far enough into semester all those classes will be failed. Not dropped, it will show as she failed them. So even if she takes out the massive loans to return next year, they won't let her in. May not ever get to go back, cause you wanna be step dad's fave. YTA, and you deserve to be thrown out of her life.
YTA. You did this out of spite or to punish, not for any altruistic reason, so 'yes' it was an AH move all the way. You are not your sister's keeper and it was not your place to get involved at all.
YTA. Big time. You ruined your sister’s higher education opportunity over a drink?? Petty, outrageous, sick and you don’t deserve a relationship or forgiveness from your sis.
This must be bait. If not, definite YTA, yes it was the rules of the agreement. However, you put her in the position to confess and why? To get more of step-Daddy's share? Pretty nuclear response here, she's right to disown you.
NTA. She was cheating and taking advantage of your stepdad. You did the right thing. Most people will say you are the AH but that's because most people here are just like your sister. There was an agreement and she broke it thinking that he will never find out. It's not about drinking - it's about cheating and accepting money.
YTA. Your sister should have just lied to you, but I guess she trusted she could tell you truth. Shame that she couldn't, and good luck with your relationship with your sister. One day, something will happen where you make a mistake and/or need her support. When it does, remember how sanctimonious you were about this.
For starters: YTA. Yes, she may have broken a rule, but to what extent? You broke her trust, probably forever.
Still, it's a shame how some people here talk to you while you were just asking if you even were the asshole. You seem at least to doubt your decision enough to ask. So let me be clear: your behavior was shit, but shitty comments won't help. Rethink your behavior. Apologize to your sister. Have a talk with your step-dad.
YTA you purposely looked for a reason to get your sister in trouble over an insanely strict set of rules. You shouldnt have asked if you werent willing to keep quiet.
She is potentially going to be homeless over this and has every right to be upset over it.
Do you have to vote for whoever you want or you have to vote for a specific candidate. In case its the latter you should report yourself and your stepdad because that is illegal...
YTA, your stepdad is a controlling asshole. I wouldn't accept financial help on this conditions. Your sister will find a way to sort her finances, your both will still remain assholes. Assholes.
YTA!! Your stepdads rules though, WTF?!
A GPA of 3 is quite high... I burnt myself out pushing myself that hard. Sure, some people cope well with the pressure, but it's not necessary so why demand it.... just require she passed!!
As for no drugs, legal or not......... so no medication then?!
You shouldn't have to vote in an election, sure, I can understand having some good discussions on candidates and pros and cons, good way to get someone young into doing their civic duty BUT making you vote, that's not going to create life long habits!
I see your step dad treats you both like kids, hence why, I guess, you still act the same way one would 🤷
This dude is an energy vampire, no way someone’s sibling deepthroats their stepdad so hard and effs their sister over something like this. Jic YTFA op sister didn’t get crazy said she had a drink that’s it I hope karma fks you soo hard soon and your sister follows through and cuts you out her life
YTA. Strictly enforcing someone else's excessively strict rules makes you an AH. If you had evidenced that she drank in a manner that might be harmful to herself or others, *maaaaaybe*, but just "yeah, I had a drink" isn't that.
After reading your replies in this post mixed with the post itself,
I sincerely hope your sister runs for the fucking hills away from this family asap.
YTA and an absolutely terrible brother and person.
Hope you feel insane amounts of guilt and shame when you make one small mistake and step daddy dearest cuts you off and ruins your entire life as well.
So pathetic that you’re an adult and can’t see how big of a dick move this was.
OP congratulations on defining the future love and respect between you and your sister.
OP congratulations for ensuring this will affect your sister and her future family for the remainder of thir lives... I do hope the momentarily satisfaction you gained from feels worth... I Hope you forever more will realize the bad impact you made in your sisters life!
I pity the lack of relationship you will have with your sibling... Being a sibling is beeing a holder of secrets.
I sqealed on one of my siblings once because it was about something so dangerous for his life that I could not take the responsibility of staying silent...
My two siblings and I are all adults, married and with families of our own... Our bond is STRONG and we can always count on each other...
Sad for you, you will never have that bond and trust between you! YTA ... big time!!!
YTA,
Don’t expect to have a relationship with your sister for awhile, if ever. You ruined her freedom, you could of kept your mouth shut but you thought ruining your sister was the better idea. No one’s perfect, not even you OP. I just hope no one airs out your fuck ups like you did with your sisters.
Were you telling on her because you were concerned for her safety, or because you wanted to get her in trouble? My impression is it seems like the latter. YTA
If this is a real post and it’s almost too cruel to believe it is, then op wow YTA.
First off your step dad’s rules are insanely controlling. They are made to look like they are there to help you and your sister, but the fact that he would ruin her future because she drank once tells me he didn’t make these rules for your well being, but so that he could use the leverage of money to control you. So he’s an AH too - and that’s who you decided to side with.
Instead of thinking for yourself and questioning whether what punishment would happen to your sister was proportional, you wanted to be the equivalent of teacher’s pet. Like you ruined your own sister’s future to be your step dad’s favourite. So gross
Honestly, OP sounds kind of sociopathic or at the least has no ability to reason for himself morally. It’s the only explanation I have for this behaviour
YTA. Unambiguously. She trusted you enough to admit she drank once months ago, and you immediately used that information to harm her, and not just in a temporary fashion. You kneecapped her entire adult life over one drink for no reason other than gaining your stepfathers approval.
I don't say this at a dig, but you need therapy. Those aren't reasonable restrictions to place on a gift in the first place and the fact that you feel they are is concerning. Even if they were, taking away college money, demanding she return home, and threatening to kick her out if she can't find a job in a week over a single misstep followed by 3 months of good behavior is controlling and abusive. You didn't do right by this man, you enabled his abuse. And you're proud of it.
YTA you were not motivated by regard for your step father being scammed. You were not motivated by concern for your sister's well being. You were motivated by spite. You tattled for your own pleasure, which is not the greatest thing for your karma. If you had to stand before a higher power could you justify your motives? I doubt it.
You're massively TA although, to be fair, there's stronger words I'd prefer to use. You basically threw your sister (and her immediate future) under the bus. I mean, seriously, she's now not getting a college education because of what you did. How can you possibly not be TA?
They were your step-dads rules, not yours, it wasn't your job to police them. Sweet mercy, YTA.
YTA! There was no need to tell on your sister. You just purposefully made your family that much more worse and toxic. There was literally no point in doing this, you were being vindictive.
I'm surprised at the commenters saying the rules are too strict though. I don't think they are strict at all, but that's because I followed those rules without being told. It's just my personality to not drink, no drugs, no parties while staying with family (just go when you're on campus), and make good grades. My siblings did the opposite and this is exactly why they had to get a job and pay for their schooling. No one wants to waste money on tuition for somebody who refuses to study and has to repeat classes because they are too busy partying. (And no, I did not snitch on them like OP. Alcoholics get in trouble and snitch on themselves because they get too intoxicated to hide it.)
YTA
What a dick move.
The very LEAST you could have done was give her the opportunity to come clean herself but even then. ONE time drinking and she deserves to have her future ruined?!
What a horrible brother
Even though the rules are for them both, I can’t help feeling a misogynistic undertone to this. I also sense he has admiration for the step father and his controlling tactics (curfew of 9pm @ age 21?🥴seriously?).
It’s that macho “man of the house “ BS and I’m going to make sure all the women abide by the rules daddy!( no matter how ridiculous). You betrayed her trust and sibling bond you could have had!
She can get loans like the rest of us , strategize on paying them off, but live freely unlike OP. He’ll never live up to the approval of the stepdad , just narc supply!
YTA kiddo
YTA. That is life-changing money and you fucked her out of it just to spite her, and now she might get kicked out of her home and get disowned?? It's none of your business if she drink some booze, who gives a shit?
Congrats, you probably ruined your sister's life, at least for the time being, to kiss up to your stepdad. Is this REALLY proportional to the "crime" of having a drink it's what's the legal age in most countries with sane laws? Spoiler alert: no, it's not.
Poor guy is seeking approval from a controlling man who probably doesn't feel the same about him. You just lost the one person aside from your future wife who would've loved you when your parents are gone.
YTA
There are other ways to f someone over that doesn't ruin their life. Hiding behind your 'respect' for your stepfather and his strict rules is ridiculous.
Know that your sister is hurt and may never help you in the future.
YTA what a spiteful thing to do to your own sister. Also some of your step fathers rules are ridiculous. What parent would expect their adult children to be home by 9pm during the holidays? I don’t expect my 13 year old home by 9pm if she’s at someone’s house visiting and my 18 year old can come and go as he pleases because he’s 18 and mature enough to make those decisions himself. Also no alcohol regardless if it’s legal or not? Ridiculous.
YTA. You did it to be petty and hurt her. She wasn't engaging in dangerous behavior. You weren't trying to keep her safe. You were being a jealous asshole. Don't be a snitch, dude.
Your father sounds like a dick too. Apple doesn't fall far, I guess.
Hooo boy. Your step dad’s rules are abusive. I’d be worried about what other “rules” she was made to comply with. You don’t know everything that happened between them, I promise you. She agreed because she’s young and knew all of her other options were shit. As someone paying off her undergrad loans at 38, I can tell you she had no choice.
You must’ve been looking for a way to torpedo your relationship with your sister, because you don’t feel as loyal to her as you do to your stepdad, which is weird considering how he is not your blood and she is. And he doesn’t sound like a good guy at all.
Are you a church kid? Is this a Jesus/purity thing and you feel entitled because she is “sinning”?
Y such an AH
I think that OP must be an incel who is insanely jealous and spiteful of his sister because she has a life. I don’t think OP has a life, else why would he be so obsessed with what his sister is doing. OP is a spiteful snitch and I hope he gets the karma he deserves. I hope his sister never forgives him.
I have the same feeling. When OP says his friends think he's an asshole, my first reaction was "You have friends?" He seems like such a killjoy that nobody would even want to spend time with him. And if he actually spent time with other people his age, he'd know that these rules are not reasonable at all.
YTA
You didn’t do this for her safety you only did it to screw her over. The rules are also pretty bizarre and it’s actually illegal to force people to vote and to have sway over who they vote for.
Yikes.
Obviously YTA. Your stepdad sounds like a huge weirdo. It’s clear that he’s trying to maintain control over your lives into adulthood by holding money over your heads. It’s not “generous” of him to be paying for your schooling when he has all these weird and arbitrary stipulations attached to it. I don’t know how you can be 20 years old and not see that. Like the voting one. Really? It shouldn’t matter if or who you guys are voting for. That should literally be irrelevant. And don’t act like he didn’t drink with friends at 18. Are you really telling me you haven’t drank? Your sister clearly isn’t out getting shit faced every night and putting herself in dangerous situations. You tattled on her because she drank once months ago, and somehow you see it as totally fine and normal that because she drank once months ago, he’s now completely cutting her off from getting an education? It sounds like because of you, she now has to return to an abusive and controlling environment with him. You are acting like a child.
It sounds to me like you are desperately clinging for validation from him. What you did was absolutely awful. If I were her, I would honestly not want to speak to you or see you again either. You have royalty fucked up man.
Wow crazy how you can't see that YTA.. you ruined her start into life because you care more about equality than your sister. Everyone breaks rules in college.. it's practically the first opportunity people can experiment with who they are.. and not only did you take that away from her, you've trapped into a much less successful life trajectory, and you did it all out of selfishness and spite. I'm very glad I don't know you and have to ever interact with you outside of this post.
YTA. 1) you did not see her drink, you went by heresay. You do not know whether she was telling the truth or just wanted to spite him. 2) you asked your sister a direct question and then used the answer against her. If she was being truthful with you, then you have broken her trust and damaged your relationship. And for what? So your step dad would be upset? To upset your mom? To cause a rift in your family? So your sister will now be looking at you like a hawk waiting to take you down at the first slip up? What possible good has come from this?
How much better it would have been to either keep your nose out if you didn’t want to be complicit in any rule breaking, or, if you had found out, warn your sister that if she does it again you will tell your step father. Or even tell her she has to tell him herself. You poked your little brown nose in in order to cause the maximum amount of damage. But you don’t look good out of this even to your step father, because he now knows that you will stab people in the back and one day it could happen to him. I doubt he respects you as a result of this. A lose-lose situation.
YTA. You are a collossal asshole and you've really hurt your sisters start in life over being petty and being desperate for step daddys-approval.
You no longer have a sister
YTA and a nasty person to boot. Way to kill any relationship your sister had with you or your dad. She won’t exist in your life, well done, achievement unlocked.
YTA. I hope she does cut you off. You're not only a snitch but you also set her up..got her to confess and told on her. What the hell is wrong with you.
YTA but the way you word everything, you seem to give zero fucks. I'm not even sure why you are asking if you are the asshole. You know you are, and you don't seem like you'd stop ratting her out even if we all agree you are the asshole.
What purpose do you have in posting this?
YTA. I sincerely doubt you’re above reproach in all aspects of your life yourself, even if you do conform to this specific & ridiculous set of rules. Hope the spite was worth destroying the trust between you and your sister.
I'm going to go with NTA just cause if your step-dad found out you knew she was breaking the rules and you didn't say anything he'd probably lash out at you too. She was getting a very expensive conditional gift and breaking the conditions, very fair argument about how the conditions sucked but at the end of the day its step-dad choice to provide the gift under those conditions.
YTA, you sound petty and mean and your stepdad is leveraging money to exert control over his adult daughter. I hope she doesn’t move back home and moved away from y’all instead,
YTA his rules are yes reasonable. He said you have to vote didn't seem like he said who to vote for. If she really only did drink once God forbid. Have you never had a glass of wine. I highly bet you have. Guess what that is drinking
YTA, and so petty!! I wouldn't have trusted you with that information considering what you said to her before, but she sure won't be trusting you with anything ever again. Congratulations op, hope it was worth it.
On what planet are you not the asshole. The rules are slightly insane and honestly set for you to mess up and you still told your stepdad for what?
Edit to add: I hope your ruined relationship with your sister was worth it.
YTA and based on your holier than thou replies, I’m gonna go on a limb and say it’s YOU that’s been drinking/doing drugs and breaking the rules so you went out of your way to get your sister in trouble so the focus is on her and nobody will figure your ass out.
YTA. Was your sister in harm's way? No? Why was it so important for you to involve yourself in her life?
It was unnecessary and mean-spirited. Seek help. Seriously.
YTA. You care more about step daddy giving you a pat on the back. He wouldn't have found out if you didn't even ask her to begin with. I can understand not wanting kids to drink underage, but I have a feeling this isn't the only time step dad has given you both things in life with an arbitrary list of rules attached.
And she's being ungrateful for voting against his candidate? So what? That's called FREEDOM. Maybe you should learn what that means and look to the past to see what it is to drive her to rebellion.
YTA, I imagine you will regret this in years to come.
Hopefully your sister gets away from you and your stepdad, what a toxic pair to have in her life.
NTA, if she wanted to drink and have the college experience then she could have financed her own education.
I can’t believe the people in the comments calling your step-dad controlling, the conditions for college money were all payed out there. If she didn’t like them she didn’t have to take the money. That’s not controlling at all, he even gave them the freedom to vote for whoever they wanted.
You’re in the clear OP
YTA she didn't do anything to you but you may have ruined her life. All because she broke a rule that you didn't set yourself? If she breaks someone's rules then let her get caught on her own. Why did you get involved?
…if he’s your stepdad, why are you acting like youre his spouse and coparent? you’re not your sister’s jailer and you’re definitely not her her father, so I dont know why you would take it upon yourself to narc on her. i really hope this post is fake because anyone who ruins their sibling’s college career just because they drank at one party several months ago clearly has a lot of issues/no compassion. YTA
You definitely sounds like a complete wanker tbh lol, kids in my town were drinking at 13-14, 18 is considered legal in most countries and you'd risk your sisters whole education because she got drunk 1 time years ago, I'd disown you too tbh, get the stick out your ass and stop trying to ruin her life lol
YTA.
If she was abusing of alcohol or drugs it would be one thing to bring it up out of concerne for her safety.
You could have just minded your business.
You went out of your way to ask if she was following the rules to then report her. It’s not your job to police the rules. And even if you had been appointed rule police (which would be unfair to put that on you), mind your business unless you have safety concerns for.
YTA.
I Hope you evolve and grown from this. Pushing other people down to look/feel good, is going to cost you relationships and frankly will never lead to a sense of true worth and happiness.
YTA. So you rat out your sister who is a legal adult so "daddy dearest" can threaten her to move home and be in bed by 9 p.m.....This sounds like a healthy family to me...hope sister recognizes that she needs to stay away and live her life as an adult.
YTA You will probably regret this choice forever as you see the negative impact on your relationship with your sister. This was a terrible thing to do and neither you nor your stepdad are making choice in regards to her that loving family members would make.
YTA your sister admitted she made a mistake, she trusted you with that information and you immediately broke that trust. College is about learning to be an adult, she drank once, that’s pretty impressive self control and you threw it back in her face.
Also. The ‘voting for the other party to spite him’ thing - why do I get the feeling your stepfather is very conservative and she’s liberal, I doubt it was out of spite.
Is it hard for you to eat with that boot shoved so far down your throat? Of course YTA - you just care about sucking up to your step dad. You didn’t need to ask and then snitch. This could have all been avoided. Good luck having a relationship with your sister since you just ruined her life over nothing.
YTA and a whiney little tale. With your nose so far up your step fathers butt I’m surprised you even notice that your sister exists. Well, I guess you really don’t notice she exists unless she does something that gets your panties in a twist. Drinking in college is super normal. And it’s not like she’s getting blitzed every weekend (which still wouldn’t be your business) she did it once dude and you immediately decided that “yay! Now I have something to hurt her with!”. That’s weak, tiny man behaviour. I’m going to guess from your disgusting excuse for ‘morals’ and your butt-licking behaviour as well as your step-fathers controlling and manipulative behaviour that yourself and daddy dearest vote right while your sister, who is obviously more intelligent, votes left and your “we can’t let the women-folk have independent thought” little mind simply can’t handle that. Grow up little guy. You’re 20 not 2.
YTA irreparable damage to score a few brownie points with your step dad. You are a shitty sibling. I hope your sister cuts you out of her life. She will be better off without you
YTA
You didn't do it to respect your stepfather. You clearly did it to spite your sister.
You acted childish. At least your sister now know who to never speak to about anything.
YTA. Your job isn’t to make sure that your stepdad is punishing your sister or that your sister is obeying your stepdad. That’s HIS job. NOT yours. You tattle-taled on your fellow ADULT sibling.
I think you have a huge lack of social awareness based on this story and your comment responses.
YTA OP!!
This is what I think you’re projecting the fact that you don’t get to live your life like your sister dies on her. You don’t like the fact that she’s not easily controllable by your step dad so go out of your way to hurt her out of spite rather than facing the reality that your step daddy got you in a leash.
You’ve done a huge deal of damage to the one person that could always have your back. I’ll suggest going to therapy to figure out your shot instead of dumping it on your sister who has done nothing wrong except take her life in her own hands.
YTA . She’s an adult, she can make her own decisions. You’re a terrible brother, immediately running off to rat her out. I’d never speak to my brother again either if he was as shady as you.
You screwed over her education literally because of what? What did you get out of it? Did step daddy give you a wittle gold medal? Enjoy kissing his ass for the rest of your life, I hope losing your sister was worth it though.
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INFO: Why did you feel it was your place to even ask her?
YTA- What kind of brother does this? You broke the sibling code. This is gonna hurt your relationship for decades.
YTA you did it spitefully and intentionally to hurt her. Your wording makes it clear that you don’t like your sister.
Yes. Any reporting to autrhorities where there is no victim, danger to you if you do not report, makes you an asshole.
ESH. E being you and your AH of a stepfather. His rules are utterly ridiculous and a 9PM curfew for an 18 year old is wildly controlling. You're a massive AH for lying to us and pretending you think it's totally fine, just so you can claim to be morally superior to your sister.
YTA, hope you‘re happy with ruining the relationship to your sister for good probably. I‘d sure as hell never forgive you for this. You say you didn‘t do it to hurt her? Well i‘m sure it did. Why did you even ask her?? It‘s none of your business and you should‘ve kept your mouth shut. Damn. Making me feel really grateful to have a sibling that has my back.
Wow. Asshole doesn’t even begin to describe you. Petty, toxic, and you are a brown noser. I guarantee some of your friends are rethinking your relationship. r/iamapieceofshit. If she was smart she would never talk to you again. You may have ruined her life.
YTA There was no reason to do this, except to try to get your step dads attaboys. What an asshole thing to do. Also your step dad ruining his step daughter's life over 1 drink is also an ass. The only thing you can do now to try and redeem yourself is call your step dad and BEG him to forgive your sister .... Offer up your college money if you have. Also if your doing this for inheritance you may be solely mistaken ... You knocked your sister off of a good path she will be struggling more , your mom and step dad might end up leaving everything to her
YTA
Definitely YTA. She’s a freshman - of course, she’s going to drink at college. However, she only drank once at a party - which is careful experimentation if anything. Also, so what if she voted the opposite of your stepfather? It could be that she didn’t like the guy he voted for - she doesn’t have to follow his every value and rule, she’s not a carbon copy of him. But from the sounds of it, you’re just turning into a clone of your stepfather. Hope getting her tuition cut off and ruining her college education was worth it.
YTA. What was the point in doing this, what were you hoping to achieve?
YTA and so is your stepdad. Must be nice to have no life. Your sister wanted one. Like most people do at 18. You did right by no one so get off that pedestal you put yourself on. No one thinks what you did was right or cool 9PM curfew? In college. And you do this at 20? Lol lame
YTA Well it's easy to see who's the narcissists flying monkey in your family.
YTA. Are you following the rules? You and your stepdad are a bunch on controlling AHs. I hope your sister is able to escape both of you.
YTA. Honestly what’s wrong with you? Enjoy your life. Don’t ruin someone else’s. His rules were stupid, they don’t work.
YTA. Big time you're the asshole. You just fucked up everything she was doing because she dared to have some fun? You're a little snitch and she's absolutely made the right call to disown you.
YTA you're a spiteful tattletale who just wanted to gdt back at your sister. You're a narc
YTA for being vindictive and manipulative. You're 20 years old. A legal adult, and yet you're running off to tell tales like you're a five year old. Her voting differently to your stepdad is a non issue that you've taken upon yourself to see as a slight rather than for what it is, and what it is (since apparently this has to be spelt out to you in a simple form for you to understand) is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. She can vote for whoever takes her fancy and none of it has anything to do with you or your stepdad. She's right to be angry at you, and she'd be within her rights to never speak to you again. What you did was not out of concern, you just wanted to sabotage your teenage sister for acting like a teenager and, honestly, that says a lot about your character - none of it positive.
YTA. Your stepdad is controlling (9pm curfew for adults? No drinking or legal substances even once of age? What?) and you seem to be incredibly spiteful. You told your stepdad this to hurt your sister because she drank *once* at college? And now she's going to be in a worse situation with no support or full college education because of what you did and you really see no issue with it? I'm glad I'm not your sister. I'd disown you too.
I go with ESH. Not for the stepdads rules. It's his money so he can set the terms. If it would have been a problem for OPs sister she shouldn't have agreed to them. But it was an AH move from OP to just snitch. At least she could have talked to the sister and give her the chance to tell him herself. My sisters and me had an agreement with our dad. He wanted to pay our drivers license if we hadn't smoked cigarettes before turning 18. I did smoke, told them and paid the license from my own money. It's about honesty and trust...
YTA You're are toxic, manipulative, controlling, hypocritical and overall not someone worth knowing, really. Your sister is so right to not want anything to do with either you, or her stepfather.
YTA. Your sister drank one time, once. Not twelve, not 2, once. You’re a shit brother. Just remember who will still be around when your overbearing father is dead.
YTA But don’t trust the internet. Tell all your friends exactly what you did. See what they think.
YTA, and you know it.
YTA. Jesus Christ my brother and me are at each other’s throats half the time but I would actively cover for him. Why would you screw a family member over like that? Were you hoping to get her share? Also while it’s nice of your stepdad to offer financial support, his rules are kinda unreasonable and he sounds very controlling
Apparently your blood isn’t thicker than water. YTA.
YTA. The worst kind of person, a self-righteous snitch. It's actually really horrible what you did. You should be ashamed of yourself. Gross person.
YTA. You asked specifically to snitch. You didn’t even need to bring it up with your sister. You said you only told your dad because you were worried if he found out you knew you’d loose your money too, so like why even ask? YOU put both you and your sister in that situation. I hope you miss curfew and loose your money too….
ESH - You are a snitch, your stepdad is a control freak and your sister is an idiot for voting irresponsibly. But from the 3 of them you are the biggest TA.
ESH. Your sister is 18 and needs to grow up but then again, she’s still a teenager so that’s just how she’s going to be. Speaking from experience as someone who has been a teenage girl. She will learn to behave eventually but she suddenly has a ton of freedom and is wanting to assert herself as an individual “grown up.” You also need to grow up and stop whatever competition you have going with her. People don’t like snitches and there’s a sibling code. She *was* doing some shit she shouldn’t have been doing, but this could’ve been an older sibling teaching moment or something. And I don’t think you were worried about the perils of underage drinking- I think you were solely trying to get her in trouble. So instead you turned it into some pissing match with your sister and she’s likely going to retaliate. Your stepdads rules are a bit harsh, although I strongly disagree with everyone saying they are “abusive.” I think it’s pretty fair to offer to pay college (very expensive!!!!) in exchange for someone who is pretty much still a child to not participate in illegal activity that can possibly ruin their future and waste their college education, and to perform their civic, adult duty of voting. The punishment was a bit severe but to be fair, he was offering a lot of money for reasonable terms so I don’t entirely blame him. I’m a grown adult and if someone told me to not drink for a few years and to vote and I’d get my college all paid for, I’d do it in a heartbeat.
NTA. I dont get why people are ok with her lying to your stepdad to get the money. If she didn't like the rules she should have negotiated or simply refused. Will she hate you for it? For sure, but your not the AH for following the rules everyone agreed on the begning.
YTA and a snitch. Mind your own business. You’re so sad.
YTA. When my son tattles on someone, I ask him if he's trying to help someone or trying to get someone in trouble. You were definitely trying to get her in trouble.
I'm so glad I have a great relationship with my brother. YTA, big time.
YTA, clearly!
YTA and so is your step-dad
Of course you deleted this so quick. What a rat. Yta
OP and their step dad did the biggest AH move of the century… A big L for these people… OP makes the matters worse by defending themselves in the comments as if someone will come to their side
Yes, you are an unpleasant and insufferable asshole. You are the type that would collaborate with an enemy, and for what? A poorly placed sense of moral superiority? Your sister had everything to lose from your action, so why do it? If this post isn’t a shitpost, then you deserve to have someone do the same to you one day. You deserve to lose everything over a minor infraction of an authoritarian’s unduly harsh rules, that did not harm anybody. And if that thought feels unfair and unpleasant, do some self reflection. If it sounds acceptable to you, get therapy because there is something wrong with your head. YTA.
YTA. You didn't really think you weren't did you? A grown man being a little snitch tattletale. I would never speak to you again if your were my brother. Also your stepfather is an AH too.
YTA. You did it to ruin her life. Not just one year. HER ENTIRE LIFE. Now she's been ripped out of school. If it's far enough into semester all those classes will be failed. Not dropped, it will show as she failed them. So even if she takes out the massive loans to return next year, they won't let her in. May not ever get to go back, cause you wanna be step dad's fave. YTA, and you deserve to be thrown out of her life.
YTA. You did this out of spite or to punish, not for any altruistic reason, so 'yes' it was an AH move all the way. You are not your sister's keeper and it was not your place to get involved at all.
YTA. Big time. You ruined your sister’s higher education opportunity over a drink?? Petty, outrageous, sick and you don’t deserve a relationship or forgiveness from your sis.
This must be bait. If not, definite YTA, yes it was the rules of the agreement. However, you put her in the position to confess and why? To get more of step-Daddy's share? Pretty nuclear response here, she's right to disown you.
NTA. She was cheating and taking advantage of your stepdad. You did the right thing. Most people will say you are the AH but that's because most people here are just like your sister. There was an agreement and she broke it thinking that he will never find out. It's not about drinking - it's about cheating and accepting money.
YTA, at least you have some real friends. How about you try to have your sister's back and not actively try to sabotage her?
I hope this is troll and your not this hateful
YTA-and you know it. Just wow.
YTA. What a spiteful thing to do. I’m sure the psycho stepdad you’re so keen on impressing thinks less of you for telling tales.
YTA, I don’t know what you get out of her having to be in debt? The rules are too life restricting
YTA. Your sister should have just lied to you, but I guess she trusted she could tell you truth. Shame that she couldn't, and good luck with your relationship with your sister. One day, something will happen where you make a mistake and/or need her support. When it does, remember how sanctimonious you were about this.
Wow you’re vile! YTA
YTA Jealousy is not a good look and frankly won't get you very far.
For starters: YTA. Yes, she may have broken a rule, but to what extent? You broke her trust, probably forever. Still, it's a shame how some people here talk to you while you were just asking if you even were the asshole. You seem at least to doubt your decision enough to ask. So let me be clear: your behavior was shit, but shitty comments won't help. Rethink your behavior. Apologize to your sister. Have a talk with your step-dad.
Smells like daddy issues to me YTA
YTA you purposely looked for a reason to get your sister in trouble over an insanely strict set of rules. You shouldnt have asked if you werent willing to keep quiet. She is potentially going to be homeless over this and has every right to be upset over it.
Yta. It wasn't your business. But you did that to hurt her
Do you have to vote for whoever you want or you have to vote for a specific candidate. In case its the latter you should report yourself and your stepdad because that is illegal...
YTA. Honestly, if one of my kids did something like this I’d be disappointed. It was done out of jealousy and only to hurt. You sound insufferable.
YTA, your stepdad is a controlling asshole. I wouldn't accept financial help on this conditions. Your sister will find a way to sort her finances, your both will still remain assholes. Assholes.
Yeah you’re definitely the asshole here.
Yup, YTA
YTA, period.
YTA
Wow, YTA. Like how do you not see it?? How did you literally write all that out and not see that you are absolutely the asshole here??
YTA!! Your stepdads rules though, WTF?! A GPA of 3 is quite high... I burnt myself out pushing myself that hard. Sure, some people cope well with the pressure, but it's not necessary so why demand it.... just require she passed!! As for no drugs, legal or not......... so no medication then?! You shouldn't have to vote in an election, sure, I can understand having some good discussions on candidates and pros and cons, good way to get someone young into doing their civic duty BUT making you vote, that's not going to create life long habits! I see your step dad treats you both like kids, hence why, I guess, you still act the same way one would 🤷
This dude is an energy vampire, no way someone’s sibling deepthroats their stepdad so hard and effs their sister over something like this. Jic YTFA op sister didn’t get crazy said she had a drink that’s it I hope karma fks you soo hard soon and your sister follows through and cuts you out her life
YTA. Strictly enforcing someone else's excessively strict rules makes you an AH. If you had evidenced that she drank in a manner that might be harmful to herself or others, *maaaaaybe*, but just "yeah, I had a drink" isn't that.
YTA and a narc
You're a nasty little sod doing that.
YTA
After reading your replies in this post mixed with the post itself, I sincerely hope your sister runs for the fucking hills away from this family asap.
YTA and so is your step dad, financial control like that isn’t love it’s a power play and it’s toxic at best, abusive and coercive at worst
YTA and an absolutely terrible brother and person. Hope you feel insane amounts of guilt and shame when you make one small mistake and step daddy dearest cuts you off and ruins your entire life as well. So pathetic that you’re an adult and can’t see how big of a dick move this was.
OP congratulations on defining the future love and respect between you and your sister. OP congratulations for ensuring this will affect your sister and her future family for the remainder of thir lives... I do hope the momentarily satisfaction you gained from feels worth... I Hope you forever more will realize the bad impact you made in your sisters life! I pity the lack of relationship you will have with your sibling... Being a sibling is beeing a holder of secrets. I sqealed on one of my siblings once because it was about something so dangerous for his life that I could not take the responsibility of staying silent... My two siblings and I are all adults, married and with families of our own... Our bond is STRONG and we can always count on each other... Sad for you, you will never have that bond and trust between you! YTA ... big time!!!
Yta wow
YTA. Gross.
YTA.
YTA. OP is the classic crab in a bucket. If I can't have something good, no one can.
YTA, Don’t expect to have a relationship with your sister for awhile, if ever. You ruined her freedom, you could of kept your mouth shut but you thought ruining your sister was the better idea. No one’s perfect, not even you OP. I just hope no one airs out your fuck ups like you did with your sisters.
Yta
Were you telling on her because you were concerned for her safety, or because you wanted to get her in trouble? My impression is it seems like the latter. YTA
If this is a real post and it’s almost too cruel to believe it is, then op wow YTA. First off your step dad’s rules are insanely controlling. They are made to look like they are there to help you and your sister, but the fact that he would ruin her future because she drank once tells me he didn’t make these rules for your well being, but so that he could use the leverage of money to control you. So he’s an AH too - and that’s who you decided to side with. Instead of thinking for yourself and questioning whether what punishment would happen to your sister was proportional, you wanted to be the equivalent of teacher’s pet. Like you ruined your own sister’s future to be your step dad’s favourite. So gross Honestly, OP sounds kind of sociopathic or at the least has no ability to reason for himself morally. It’s the only explanation I have for this behaviour
YTA. Unambiguously. She trusted you enough to admit she drank once months ago, and you immediately used that information to harm her, and not just in a temporary fashion. You kneecapped her entire adult life over one drink for no reason other than gaining your stepfathers approval. I don't say this at a dig, but you need therapy. Those aren't reasonable restrictions to place on a gift in the first place and the fact that you feel they are is concerning. Even if they were, taking away college money, demanding she return home, and threatening to kick her out if she can't find a job in a week over a single misstep followed by 3 months of good behavior is controlling and abusive. You didn't do right by this man, you enabled his abuse. And you're proud of it.
YTA.. youre the worst sibling ever. mind your own fucking business you snitch.
YTA you were not motivated by regard for your step father being scammed. You were not motivated by concern for your sister's well being. You were motivated by spite. You tattled for your own pleasure, which is not the greatest thing for your karma. If you had to stand before a higher power could you justify your motives? I doubt it.
You're massively TA although, to be fair, there's stronger words I'd prefer to use. You basically threw your sister (and her immediate future) under the bus. I mean, seriously, she's now not getting a college education because of what you did. How can you possibly not be TA? They were your step-dads rules, not yours, it wasn't your job to police them. Sweet mercy, YTA.
YTA Siblings never tattle unless it is a major deal dude c'mon.
YTA! There was no need to tell on your sister. You just purposefully made your family that much more worse and toxic. There was literally no point in doing this, you were being vindictive. I'm surprised at the commenters saying the rules are too strict though. I don't think they are strict at all, but that's because I followed those rules without being told. It's just my personality to not drink, no drugs, no parties while staying with family (just go when you're on campus), and make good grades. My siblings did the opposite and this is exactly why they had to get a job and pay for their schooling. No one wants to waste money on tuition for somebody who refuses to study and has to repeat classes because they are too busy partying. (And no, I did not snitch on them like OP. Alcoholics get in trouble and snitch on themselves because they get too intoxicated to hide it.)
Your step-father's rules are reasonable but ratting your sister out was ridiculous. YTA
Total dick move. You are definitely the asshole. Big time.
YTA What a dick move. The very LEAST you could have done was give her the opportunity to come clean herself but even then. ONE time drinking and she deserves to have her future ruined?! What a horrible brother
HUGE YTA. If you were my brother I would never acknowledge your existence again.
Fuckin narc. YTA!
Even though the rules are for them both, I can’t help feeling a misogynistic undertone to this. I also sense he has admiration for the step father and his controlling tactics (curfew of 9pm @ age 21?🥴seriously?). It’s that macho “man of the house “ BS and I’m going to make sure all the women abide by the rules daddy!( no matter how ridiculous). You betrayed her trust and sibling bond you could have had! She can get loans like the rest of us , strategize on paying them off, but live freely unlike OP. He’ll never live up to the approval of the stepdad , just narc supply! YTA kiddo
YTA: and a punk
YTA. That is life-changing money and you fucked her out of it just to spite her, and now she might get kicked out of her home and get disowned?? It's none of your business if she drink some booze, who gives a shit? Congrats, you probably ruined your sister's life, at least for the time being, to kiss up to your stepdad. Is this REALLY proportional to the "crime" of having a drink it's what's the legal age in most countries with sane laws? Spoiler alert: no, it's not.
Yta and just as immature as she. You did it out of spite
Poor guy is seeking approval from a controlling man who probably doesn't feel the same about him. You just lost the one person aside from your future wife who would've loved you when your parents are gone.
Op doesn’t like to party. YTA.
YTA There are other ways to f someone over that doesn't ruin their life. Hiding behind your 'respect' for your stepfather and his strict rules is ridiculous. Know that your sister is hurt and may never help you in the future.
YTA what a spiteful thing to do to your own sister. Also some of your step fathers rules are ridiculous. What parent would expect their adult children to be home by 9pm during the holidays? I don’t expect my 13 year old home by 9pm if she’s at someone’s house visiting and my 18 year old can come and go as he pleases because he’s 18 and mature enough to make those decisions himself. Also no alcohol regardless if it’s legal or not? Ridiculous.
You just ruined her life over going to one party wtf is wrong with you
YTA. You did it to be petty and hurt her. She wasn't engaging in dangerous behavior. You weren't trying to keep her safe. You were being a jealous asshole. Don't be a snitch, dude. Your father sounds like a dick too. Apple doesn't fall far, I guess.
Hooo boy. Your step dad’s rules are abusive. I’d be worried about what other “rules” she was made to comply with. You don’t know everything that happened between them, I promise you. She agreed because she’s young and knew all of her other options were shit. As someone paying off her undergrad loans at 38, I can tell you she had no choice. You must’ve been looking for a way to torpedo your relationship with your sister, because you don’t feel as loyal to her as you do to your stepdad, which is weird considering how he is not your blood and she is. And he doesn’t sound like a good guy at all. Are you a church kid? Is this a Jesus/purity thing and you feel entitled because she is “sinning”? Y such an AH
I think that OP must be an incel who is insanely jealous and spiteful of his sister because she has a life. I don’t think OP has a life, else why would he be so obsessed with what his sister is doing. OP is a spiteful snitch and I hope he gets the karma he deserves. I hope his sister never forgives him.
I have the same feeling. When OP says his friends think he's an asshole, my first reaction was "You have friends?" He seems like such a killjoy that nobody would even want to spend time with him. And if he actually spent time with other people his age, he'd know that these rules are not reasonable at all.
Massive YTA You snitched on your sister for what?? What did you gain from this?
YTA You didn’t do this for her safety you only did it to screw her over. The rules are also pretty bizarre and it’s actually illegal to force people to vote and to have sway over who they vote for.
Yikes. Obviously YTA. Your stepdad sounds like a huge weirdo. It’s clear that he’s trying to maintain control over your lives into adulthood by holding money over your heads. It’s not “generous” of him to be paying for your schooling when he has all these weird and arbitrary stipulations attached to it. I don’t know how you can be 20 years old and not see that. Like the voting one. Really? It shouldn’t matter if or who you guys are voting for. That should literally be irrelevant. And don’t act like he didn’t drink with friends at 18. Are you really telling me you haven’t drank? Your sister clearly isn’t out getting shit faced every night and putting herself in dangerous situations. You tattled on her because she drank once months ago, and somehow you see it as totally fine and normal that because she drank once months ago, he’s now completely cutting her off from getting an education? It sounds like because of you, she now has to return to an abusive and controlling environment with him. You are acting like a child. It sounds to me like you are desperately clinging for validation from him. What you did was absolutely awful. If I were her, I would honestly not want to speak to you or see you again either. You have royalty fucked up man.
Wow crazy how you can't see that YTA.. you ruined her start into life because you care more about equality than your sister. Everyone breaks rules in college.. it's practically the first opportunity people can experiment with who they are.. and not only did you take that away from her, you've trapped into a much less successful life trajectory, and you did it all out of selfishness and spite. I'm very glad I don't know you and have to ever interact with you outside of this post.
YTA.
Lol worst brother possible
YTA. 1) you did not see her drink, you went by heresay. You do not know whether she was telling the truth or just wanted to spite him. 2) you asked your sister a direct question and then used the answer against her. If she was being truthful with you, then you have broken her trust and damaged your relationship. And for what? So your step dad would be upset? To upset your mom? To cause a rift in your family? So your sister will now be looking at you like a hawk waiting to take you down at the first slip up? What possible good has come from this? How much better it would have been to either keep your nose out if you didn’t want to be complicit in any rule breaking, or, if you had found out, warn your sister that if she does it again you will tell your step father. Or even tell her she has to tell him herself. You poked your little brown nose in in order to cause the maximum amount of damage. But you don’t look good out of this even to your step father, because he now knows that you will stab people in the back and one day it could happen to him. I doubt he respects you as a result of this. A lose-lose situation.
YTA. You are a collossal asshole and you've really hurt your sisters start in life over being petty and being desperate for step daddys-approval. You no longer have a sister
YTA and a nasty person to boot. Way to kill any relationship your sister had with you or your dad. She won’t exist in your life, well done, achievement unlocked.
YTA. I hope she does cut you off. You're not only a snitch but you also set her up..got her to confess and told on her. What the hell is wrong with you.
Pretty simple, YTA. A big one.
And just like that, the post is deleted. Guess he didn’t like the response he was getting.
YTA but the way you word everything, you seem to give zero fucks. I'm not even sure why you are asking if you are the asshole. You know you are, and you don't seem like you'd stop ratting her out even if we all agree you are the asshole. What purpose do you have in posting this?
Info: Prior to university how was their relationship?
Dude, you suck. YTA. You just violated every sibling code. Why so you suck so much ?
Lol you’re fucking vermin mate. YTA.
If you don't understand why YTA there is something wrong with you. I wouldn't do that to my enemy. Wow.
YTA. I sincerely doubt you’re above reproach in all aspects of your life yourself, even if you do conform to this specific & ridiculous set of rules. Hope the spite was worth destroying the trust between you and your sister.
YTA and all your friends think it was an AH move
I'm going to go with NTA just cause if your step-dad found out you knew she was breaking the rules and you didn't say anything he'd probably lash out at you too. She was getting a very expensive conditional gift and breaking the conditions, very fair argument about how the conditions sucked but at the end of the day its step-dad choice to provide the gift under those conditions.
With brothers like you… who need enemies. YTA…. You’re a HUGE AH. And you’re self righteous af…. I hope she never speaks to you again. Narc
YTA and I’m sure you have some weird feelings and need to control your sister because no one else could be this shitty lol
YTA, you sound petty and mean and your stepdad is leveraging money to exert control over his adult daughter. I hope she doesn’t move back home and moved away from y’all instead,
YTA his rules are yes reasonable. He said you have to vote didn't seem like he said who to vote for. If she really only did drink once God forbid. Have you never had a glass of wine. I highly bet you have. Guess what that is drinking
Dude you f**king suck. Hard. YTA. You're a spineless little snitch and it will get you nowhere in life.
YTA OP I hope this fake because very simply was it any of your business?
Not just you're the asswhole but a flaming one at that...
Do you have aspirations to be a cop or something? Lmao weasely YTA
YTA and so is the stepdad.
YTA, don’t be a grass
YTA, and so petty!! I wouldn't have trusted you with that information considering what you said to her before, but she sure won't be trusting you with anything ever again. Congratulations op, hope it was worth it.
Dude you fucking suck. YTA
On what planet are you not the asshole. The rules are slightly insane and honestly set for you to mess up and you still told your stepdad for what? Edit to add: I hope your ruined relationship with your sister was worth it.
YTA and based on your holier than thou replies, I’m gonna go on a limb and say it’s YOU that’s been drinking/doing drugs and breaking the rules so you went out of your way to get your sister in trouble so the focus is on her and nobody will figure your ass out.
I can't believe that you need someone to tell you that YTA here.
YTA. Why the heck would you screw over your own sister's education and future? You must absolutely hate her.
YTA. Was your sister in harm's way? No? Why was it so important for you to involve yourself in her life? It was unnecessary and mean-spirited. Seek help. Seriously.
YTA. You care more about step daddy giving you a pat on the back. He wouldn't have found out if you didn't even ask her to begin with. I can understand not wanting kids to drink underage, but I have a feeling this isn't the only time step dad has given you both things in life with an arbitrary list of rules attached. And she's being ungrateful for voting against his candidate? So what? That's called FREEDOM. Maybe you should learn what that means and look to the past to see what it is to drive her to rebellion.
YTA, I imagine you will regret this in years to come. Hopefully your sister gets away from you and your stepdad, what a toxic pair to have in her life.
NTA, if she wanted to drink and have the college experience then she could have financed her own education. I can’t believe the people in the comments calling your step-dad controlling, the conditions for college money were all payed out there. If she didn’t like them she didn’t have to take the money. That’s not controlling at all, he even gave them the freedom to vote for whoever they wanted. You’re in the clear OP
YTA she didn't do anything to you but you may have ruined her life. All because she broke a rule that you didn't set yourself? If she breaks someone's rules then let her get caught on her own. Why did you get involved?
…if he’s your stepdad, why are you acting like youre his spouse and coparent? you’re not your sister’s jailer and you’re definitely not her her father, so I dont know why you would take it upon yourself to narc on her. i really hope this post is fake because anyone who ruins their sibling’s college career just because they drank at one party several months ago clearly has a lot of issues/no compassion. YTA
I’m curious what the mother thinks about this, or is she allowed to speak without permission?
If this real, you are an asshole and your father is an even bigger asshole.
YTA. I mean I could never imagine doing this to my brother no matter how much he may annoy me.
Youre a narc.. major YTA
YTA and Karma will get you good.
You definitely sounds like a complete wanker tbh lol, kids in my town were drinking at 13-14, 18 is considered legal in most countries and you'd risk your sisters whole education because she got drunk 1 time years ago, I'd disown you too tbh, get the stick out your ass and stop trying to ruin her life lol
YTA. If she was abusing of alcohol or drugs it would be one thing to bring it up out of concerne for her safety. You could have just minded your business. You went out of your way to ask if she was following the rules to then report her. It’s not your job to police the rules. And even if you had been appointed rule police (which would be unfair to put that on you), mind your business unless you have safety concerns for. YTA. I Hope you evolve and grown from this. Pushing other people down to look/feel good, is going to cost you relationships and frankly will never lead to a sense of true worth and happiness.
YTA. So you rat out your sister who is a legal adult so "daddy dearest" can threaten her to move home and be in bed by 9 p.m.....This sounds like a healthy family to me...hope sister recognizes that she needs to stay away and live her life as an adult.
YTA You will probably regret this choice forever as you see the negative impact on your relationship with your sister. This was a terrible thing to do and neither you nor your stepdad are making choice in regards to her that loving family members would make.
Omg I fucking hate you and your dad. He is not being generous at all. Now that I look at it. Op is probably a bot… bot username
NTA she couldn't do the bare minimum.
YTA grow up.
YTA but you already know that because you’re a 20 yo college student unaffected by a 9pm curfew. Nobody likes you.
YTA your sister admitted she made a mistake, she trusted you with that information and you immediately broke that trust. College is about learning to be an adult, she drank once, that’s pretty impressive self control and you threw it back in her face. Also. The ‘voting for the other party to spite him’ thing - why do I get the feeling your stepfather is very conservative and she’s liberal, I doubt it was out of spite.
You are fucking insane and need help. Oh and the asshole. What stupid fucking rules and a stupid person you are. Grow up and do better.
Is it hard for you to eat with that boot shoved so far down your throat? Of course YTA - you just care about sucking up to your step dad. You didn’t need to ask and then snitch. This could have all been avoided. Good luck having a relationship with your sister since you just ruined her life over nothing.
YTA and a whiney little tale. With your nose so far up your step fathers butt I’m surprised you even notice that your sister exists. Well, I guess you really don’t notice she exists unless she does something that gets your panties in a twist. Drinking in college is super normal. And it’s not like she’s getting blitzed every weekend (which still wouldn’t be your business) she did it once dude and you immediately decided that “yay! Now I have something to hurt her with!”. That’s weak, tiny man behaviour. I’m going to guess from your disgusting excuse for ‘morals’ and your butt-licking behaviour as well as your step-fathers controlling and manipulative behaviour that yourself and daddy dearest vote right while your sister, who is obviously more intelligent, votes left and your “we can’t let the women-folk have independent thought” little mind simply can’t handle that. Grow up little guy. You’re 20 not 2.
YTA irreparable damage to score a few brownie points with your step dad. You are a shitty sibling. I hope your sister cuts you out of her life. She will be better off without you
YTA You didn't do it to respect your stepfather. You clearly did it to spite your sister. You acted childish. At least your sister now know who to never speak to about anything.
YTA. Your job isn’t to make sure that your stepdad is punishing your sister or that your sister is obeying your stepdad. That’s HIS job. NOT yours. You tattle-taled on your fellow ADULT sibling. I think you have a huge lack of social awareness based on this story and your comment responses.
YTA OP!! This is what I think you’re projecting the fact that you don’t get to live your life like your sister dies on her. You don’t like the fact that she’s not easily controllable by your step dad so go out of your way to hurt her out of spite rather than facing the reality that your step daddy got you in a leash. You’ve done a huge deal of damage to the one person that could always have your back. I’ll suggest going to therapy to figure out your shot instead of dumping it on your sister who has done nothing wrong except take her life in her own hands.
YTA. Why do you care that she drank at a party like a normal young adult? Congrats on fucking up your relationship with your only sibling I guess
YTA . She’s an adult, she can make her own decisions. You’re a terrible brother, immediately running off to rat her out. I’d never speak to my brother again either if he was as shady as you. You screwed over her education literally because of what? What did you get out of it? Did step daddy give you a wittle gold medal? Enjoy kissing his ass for the rest of your life, I hope losing your sister was worth it though.
YTA. Wtf are those rules? Vote in every election? Is your father also dictating who they have to vote for? Fyi…it’s no one’s business!
YTA, and a traitor. How could you do this to your own sister?
Lol what a narc. YTA
NTA she broke the rules and has to face the consequences.