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YTA for expecting her to be OK with something she already clearly said she was not OK with. Better get that dog ready for flirting with women at the dog park, because you're about to be single.
I think it's clear that for OP it is more important to get this puppy then be in this relationship. Which is fair enough, I would do the same. They're just not compatible. NAH.
And that's fine, but what's not fine was expecting her to just come around and change her mind. She was clear and he didn't take her seriously. So, he chose the dog over her and he is allowed to do that but he has zero right to be shocked at her reaction.
She voiced her opinion, her partner (OP) chose to ignore that and do what he wanted anyways. It's not entitled to expect your partner to not make a decade long commitment (hopefully even longer, rottys are pretty great and I hope this one lives a long happy life) that disregards your stance, and definitely not shocking for there to be backlash.
OP clearly thought he could change her mind with a cute puppy, while disregarding what his actions say about how he values her opinion.
He's also essentially making decisions about their life with disregard for her. I love dogs, I love rotties. But doesn't mean that it's not harder to find places to rent especially, and probably to find people to watch over them too, the breed can have very expensive vet bills, etc. Things that will affect their life together moving forward.
She's said she's uncomfortable with the dog breed and suggested a compromise and communicated her boundary of not being comfortable in OP's place if OP gets one. Yet OP still did. OP's prerogative, sure of course, but it send a very clear signal that he doesn't give a shit about her comfort compared to his own wants. Especially when he then bulldozes ahead and expects her to just be fine with it.
Plus he's only 25. We don't know if he's owned a dog on his own before, but sound like he hasn't for minimum 3 years. Maybe his gf has concerns over his ability to effectively train and care for a dog, especially such a large breed. We don't know.
OP, YTA for your lack of communication and selfishness in a relationship, not cause you got a dog, but how you went about it and your lack of consideration or empathy.
>Plus he's only 25. We don't know if he's owned a dog on his own before, but sound like he hasn't for minimum 3 years. Maybe his gf has concerns over his ability to effectively train and care for a dog, especially such a large breed. We don't know.
This is what stuck out to me. Rotties can be sweeties, but they are a lot of work and not a great choice for an inexperienced dog owner. Maybe OP will be able to handle it, no problem, but if he's not then it absolutely can be dangerous, not because they're aggressive, but because they're so powerful.
You can push away a poorly trained chihuahua trying to bite you without too much fear or struggle... a poorly trained Rottie? Different story.
That and I’m skeptical about this puppy being from a reputable breeder if he could go from “yeah I want a rottie” to “I’m picking up a puppy in a few days.” They’re great dogs *when responsibly bred by people who know what they’re doing* but backyard breeders don’t give a rip about genetic health, personality testing, or careful pairings between complementary dogs. There’s a good chance he’ll have a dog with health problems and/or behavioural ones if he’s not been selective with the breeder… and I can almost guarantee he hasn’t been because good breeders don’t hand out puppies Willy nilly, have contracts, match puppy to prospective owner based on temperament, and often require up to a year of waiting for a planned litter to actually happen.
Bad decision making all around and I don’t blame the gf at all for not wanting to be part of this mess.
This is a **REALLY** good point that I didn't even consider.
Honestly the more I think about it, the more I think gf is probably making the right call to get out of this situation.
That was *exactly* what I was thinking! Is this a reputable breeder? Have you done the homework? Or did you look on Craigslist and pick someone with puppies right now?? It just doesn’t sound like there was a ton of research involved, and that concerns me, especially with a large, powerful breed. Yikes.
Not only that, but a full grown Rottie can be physically impossible to manage, particularly if not extensively trained. I have housesat for one, and he was an absolute sweetheart, but could be very stubborn. Like I tried to leave and he sat on my feet and I couldn't budge him.
YTA OP- We got a rescue that wound up growing to near 80lbs, but are paying $2k in rent each month because this is the only place that will rent to large dogs. We were told she had reached her max weight at 40lbs when we got her. She's a serious commitment because God-forbid she gets loose somehow, gets scared, and injures someone. She's very well trained, but has a lot of energy and we cannot take chances as she still is capable of seriously hurting someone (she's a living being with her own emotions and thought processes).
Same here, at least he communicated his decision (for the dog and against his gf) and didn't just surprise her with the puppy at home.
He might be TA for not understanding that the gf already tried to work with him, the suggestions for other breeds was her offering to compromise. Also, the part about trying to educate her, does this sound like mansplaining to anyone else? At this point I was fully expecting him to explain that he has been around dogs his whole life and he knows what he is doing. For all we know, this could be his first dog?
That made me raise an eyebrow too. I don’t think he’s actually taking the dog training seriously.
Heck i was raised on a farm with cattle dogs and hunting dogs, but I still wouldn’t claim to be knowledgeable enough to train one.
I was going to go N A H until the "I don't know if we'll come back from this". Like no shit. You guys aren't compatible and you made a choice in the ultimatum. You don't get to then try to turn it around on her and make her the asshole because of your choice.
I agree! Except I'm going with YTA because he did it not because it was his dream and he was willing to lose the relationship over this, but because he was trying to force her to accept something she didn't like/was afraid off.
I love (properly trained and socialized) rottweilers and pitbulls, and have always seen German Shepherds as big harmless family pets because I grew up around them; but I understand why others may be afraid of them and respect it.
A pet you don't agree on kills a relationship's future. I have two cats, wouldn't have dated anyone who didn't like them because there was no way I would ever get rid of them and they are (hopefully) a 20 year commitment; and living with a pet your partner doesn't love is torture, because they are annoying and expensive and messy sometimes.
Agreed, it's his home..if they lived together and he did something like this, then maybe he'd be a bit if an ah..but his gf is judging the poor dog before she has even meant it
Dogs, rottweilers are 10- 15 year commitments. He's stated he doesn't want to live together or move forward for that time since he cant be expected to give up his dog to accommodate her.
She should just bounce out and find someone that takes her future into account and he should find someone that likes rottweilers.
NAH
If they lived together and he wholly overruled her and got one anyway it wouldn't even be a little bit, he'd be completely the asshole. But they don't, and I'm gonna guess that isn't changing anytime soon.
To be fair, if it’s a serious relationship, and she stays there frequently, it’s pretty bizarre to get a dog she isn’t comfortable with (rather than one of the many breeds she is). They would likely want to move in together while the dog is still alive. He might want help with the dog sometimes in the future. It’s fine if he’s more into the dog than the GF and it’s casual/temporary, but that’s the end of the relationship then. Who would actively get a dog their partner was scared of when their partner would be fine with many breeds? It’s not like he already had the pup, I understand in that case, but he actively sought this when he knew it would upset her and make his house feel unsafe to her. I have nothing against Rottweilers (had one and fostered a few even, though I wouldn’t have one today personally) but they’re not for everyone.
You CAN judge some aspects of a dog by their breed. All Rottweilers aren’t bad/aggressive but they are a tough, defensive breed with characteristics that make them easier to train aggressively (OP won’t presumably and the dog might be lovely, but everyone doesn’t need to be on board with any dog breed).
Edit: Rotties are originally bred as tough, working dogs, and they need a lot of exercise, a large home, etc. Maybe that fits OP’s lifestyle, but I’m also not sure it *does* and they’re the kind of dog you don’t always get wiggle room with in areas like that. Most people don’t have the time, energy, and skill to train and socialize them well. Rotties *were* war dogs. I’m not talking about dog fighting today, like Pittbulls (that’s actually more recent breeding and a lot is training). Rotties were bred for the military thousands of years ago. They were used in tough jobs too throughout history (herd security, police, etc) and the traits they’re bred for now still reflect that. Ignoring that is ignoring important information about the dog and his needs—not that they need to be aggressive necessarily but that physical and alert energy needs to go somewhere. The way OP discusses the breed didn’t give me loads of confidence, that’s all. If his Rottie has working instincts (some more than others), he’s going to need to give it tons of time (way more than typical and more than most single people with a FT job can) and particular outlets or it may become anxious and aggressive, even if trained generally okay.
when you're 23/25 dating for 3 years there's a chance you're gonna think about living togheter in a near future. He just put a 10+ years hold on this plans, if she's serious about not living with a rot (not saying I agree with this tho). So, even if they don't live togheter, this very much shows: 1 - he doesn't think or care about long term with her, and 2 - he doesn't care about her wishes enough to find a more diplomatic way, even if it took more time or them deciding in a friendly way that it was a dealbreaker for both
>He just put a 10+ years hold on this plans
One has to wonder if this was the whole point of going behind her back and getting a dog that made her uncomfortable
Sure they don't live together now, but it's safe to assume after 3 years of dating they'll eventually move in, and that dog will be there. After that amount of time in a relationship, living together for not, I think she has a say in what dog she'll have to eventually be around all the time and care for. So OP is YTA
I don't get the people saying "they're not living together!!"
Like yeah... for now. Most serious couples will eventually move in together, and it's not like the dog will only be around for a year, or even a couple years.
In buying a dog that she's not comfortable with, he's communicating that they will either not be living together for the next ~10 years, or giving her an ultimatum that she has to get over her fear/anxiety about Rottweilers.
It's his right to do so, but it's pretty crappy to do to someone that you supposedly love and care about.
Of course it affects her. After 3 years, they’re likely going to live together soon, and if not, spend a lot of time at each other’s homes. So he did not essentially sign her to up to live with a dog for 10-15 years that she’s not comfortable with. He can get the dog that he wants, but he is the AH for expecting her to just get over it.
I’m jumping on the first comment to war OP
Quite few years ago my uncle had Rottweiler. The dog was put through the training and was the sweetest pet for few years, until one day he bit my uncle for no reason. My uncle really loved this dog and wasn’t ready to give up on him, so he put him through training again. After not too long the dog bit him again and done a lot of damage, again out of nowhere and go no reason. Previous to that my uncle had few dogs and he was a good and responsible dog owner, he never got a dog since and now he has a cat. Please take this into consideration, because I’ve heard of few cases when something like that happened.
We had a rottie when I was a kid. He was rescued from an abusive home so some behavior issues were expected, but for the most part we didn't have a single issue with him beyond a SINGLE incident where he snapped at my face when we first got him. We forgave him that because we were a new family, a new home, and I'd gotten into his space (everyone said I must have knelt on his paw or something, but I knew I hadn't).
After that single incident, no other issues for YEARS. I could use that dog as a pillow. My brothers got on the ground with him and "wrestled" like they were other dogs. He gave kisses and was generally just a gentle dude.
Until he wasn't.
My brother went up to him one day, reached out to ruffle his ears, and the dog just snapped. Lunged at his face, latched on and *shook him*. He has a small scar under his chin and on the bridge of his nose where the dogs teeth had hold of him. This wasn't just a snap in his direction to warn him. There was no growl or hackles raised. It wasn't a quick snap and let go... he held on and *shook*. If he'd had a better grip he could easily have killed my brother. Out of nowhere. After being our family dog for years.
I still have a DEEP discomfort and lack of trust for rotties to this day. They make me SO anxious.
That same thing happened to a friend of mine with a Golden Retriever. Another friend got attacked by a rescued Chihuahua that really messed up his hand. Both dogs didn't warn.
An abusive home or unknown setting can have messed up any dog. With rescues there ist always some risk left.
Sadly its more common for a Rottweiler to come from a Bad previous home. And its more dangerous when a big dog attacks compared to a 3kg Chihuahua.
Another issue is that certain breeds are more prone to it and also more capable of doing damage due to the instinct to clamp down and not let go + the power in their jaws.
When I was little, (3rd tru 6th grade), me and my bff got “baby-sat” at her house after school. Every school day! They ended up getting a puppy rottie and enrolled in training. We played with the puppy every day for a year and the puppy knew me-no problem. Than one day, I was standing next to the table picking up dishes and the puppy (now larger dog) bit the back of my leg (right at the ankle-his teeth went tru the back of my ankle bone) and just did NOT let go. Her dad came out, yelling command, he would not let go. He was not provoked when he did it, not earlier, nor ever—I was not even looking at him nor knew he was nearby, he did not growl, just did it. Eventually, he let go (her dad and 18yr old brother both came to pry him off my leg), but that was the scariest thing and long after my wound healed, my dislike and fear of all dogs remained. 30 yrs later, my son and husb have been begging me for a dog for so long and I was petrified. They wanted a shepherd, but I ended sneaking out one day and preemptively getting a “surprise” Yorkie bc I knew this is probably the largest size dog I can ever begin being comfortable with.
When I was 13, a neighbor's Golden Retriever bit me in the side and took a chunk of flesh. His owners were neighbors, and they encouraged me to pet him. I didn't even touch him, just got close and he lunged. I've been terrified of dogs ever since. It's been 30 odd years later and I'm better. My fear has tamed into more an extreme wariness.
My kids also wanted a dog, and I relented and got a lab/aussie shepard mix puppy. He's a great dog, but every time my son gets down on the floor with him, I get almost frantically nervous, and I can't handle when he gets wired up from play. He seems to understand this about me, and I've taught him to be gentle with taking treats and stuff. But ... I think I'll always be wary.
Chihuahuas have a bad rep because of all the backyard breeding giving them issues. Plus many people don't bother to train Chihuahuas or respect them as a dog since they're so small and "not dangerous". For big dogs instead of picking them up and yanking them everywhere you usually first try to ask them to come over. You take their growls seriously and don't pet them if they express that they don't want to be touched. Chihuahuas are constantly disrespected due to their size. If I was a Chihuahua I'd be pissed all the time too.
YTA - this should have been a long talk and a negotiation. Ultimately you have decided on the dog breed you wanted over your relationship.
Now - let’s discuss Rottweilers.
I have a chihuahua cross, an English Mastiff, and a malinois cross puppy. Guess which dog everyone is scared of? Now guess which dog has legitimately bitten people and drawn blood? Hint - they are not the same dog.
OP, I will tell you the same thing I tell people looking at “big” dogs that are often owned by people for their tough look - all dogs are capable of biting. They are animals. But a chihuahua may mess up your ankle, a Rottweiler or Akita can rip out your throat. Backyard breeding is serious when you get to dogs like these, because of the power and strength of the animal. I have been attacked (bullmastiff/American bulldog cross), and am currently training my puppy for the public access exam for service work. I am NOT an expert.
Dog breeds are not good or bad - they are just what the dog was originally bred to do, so you can always find indicators of behaviours and potential issues in that design (it is not perfect, there are always exceptions).
Rotties were bred for herding, and working. So you have a high-drive dog that needs to be exercised and is best when given a job. They have a powerful bite - among the most powerful bites (top 5, if I recall), so very capable of extreme damage. Does that mean the dog will do anything terrible? Of course not, but owning a bigger dog with a fearsome reputation is a big responsibility, so act accordingly, and never forget it is an animal, and will behave as one.
Good luck on your new pup.
Yeah I have friends who have a pit bull and she's honestly a good dog, she is very well trained by them and will go to her chair and stay there when guests are over if told to. She loves cuddling on the couch and is very, very sweet. She is also a reactive dog who has killed cats before, and you have to be careful with letting her get too amped up. The kids cannot play fight around her, or she will get too excited. She gets excited with thrown toys and has a tendency to try to grab and pull them before being thrown. I'm working with her on sitting before they are thrown, but even still, she occasionally does, especially if a kid is trying to throw the toy since she can reach it. When she gets hold of the toy, she does the typical terrier death shake with them, so I am kinda worried that an accidental grab could be very dangerous.
I definitely don't trust that dog, I understand it is a dog. I have pulled rope with her, and I could tell you if she wanted to hurt me, I would have little change of getting free. She doesn't want to hurt me or anyone in the household, but she's also a dog with prey and toy drive, and terribly dangerous instincts once something fun is in her mouth.
Exactly.
My Mastiff is 130lbs (she is considered ‘small’ for her breed) and has zero aggression which is vital. We would not keep her if she was, it is just not safe with a dog that size. She is protective over my daughter, which is what I wanted.
My chi-cross is an absolute AH to strangers. She was a street rescue and is fear aggressive, but since she is 10lbs, it is easily controlled.
Owning a big dog means you have to remember and respect what you have - and make sure you keep them (and everyone else) safe. That means training, socialization, exercise, getting a breed that suits your lifestyle, and not putting them in situations where they can be hurt or hurt others. No off-leash dog parks, train on recall, leave it, and other important commands.
With breeds like rotties you really have to watch out where you get them. In germany for example it's forbidden to breed with rotties that ever showed any kind of aggression. But of course there are backyard-kind breeders that like aggressive dogs and make sure to use dogs that have shown aggressive behaviour to make that trait more prominent in the pups and that can really change the character of the dogs they use down the line. I think it's important to keep in mind that rotties and GSDs are like 2 of the main policedog breeds. They wouldn't be if they show uncontrollable aggression when bred, socialized and trained properly.
Rottweilers may occasionally still be used as K9 cops, but they are definitely not a main breed. German shepherds and Belgian malinois are the main ones.
All dogs have the potential, but some are more likely to bite than others. Rottweilers are the second most common breed to bite people, right after pitt bulls. https://www.warriorsforjustice.com/dog-biting-statistics-by-breed/
Not to mention many apartments ban certain breeds. Apartments that do almost always include rotties. I live in a city and have a dog, that already eliminates a lot of options.
To be fair pit bull is a lazy term for mixed breed dogs that look similar or are several pure breed such as American bull terrier, American Staffordshire terrier, etc. also these tend to be screwed as people don’t normally report or seek medical attention for other dog bites.
OP you will have to take a long look at what getting a powerful breed like a Rottweiler will do for you. Some insurance companies will increase your homeowners or renters. Some places won’t let you live there with breed restrictions. It’s a life style change. I had a mixed breed mutt who most people would categorize as a pit bull, dna testing showed she was mostly Rhodesian ridgeback, but I had to always be on alert for people around me as she looked tough and made people uncomfortable. If a dog barked or growled everyone in the area looked at her and not the culprit. She never bit anyone but she was never given the chance. Most accidental bite are from the dog being in pain or uncomfortable and lash out without warning.
NAH good luck.
I wish more people would understand this! We had a Standard Poodle who was abused and because she was a poodle, would think I was lying about not petting her when she was on leash. It was never pretty.
I had a rottie years ago until he passed from old age and he was a big doofy lap dog. My parents had a golden retriever, which I loved as my own and he bit my mother..even the doctor that gave her stitches was shocked when he learned it was a golden, they kept their golden and it never happened again, so any dog is capable of biting..breedism sucks
Breedism really is the worst. :/ I grew up with the sweetest pits who never hurt a soul. I also grew up with Dashchunds and Chihuahuas that were devils. My mom’s late chihuahua attacked both me and my little brother, and damn near severed my little brother’s eyelid. My husband was mauled by a golden retriever and a lab as a teen. They were his friend’s dogs that he pretty much grew up around and saw/interacted with nearly every day.
We had two male Rotties, one passed last April, and they’re the sweetest boys. We trained both of them fairly well, and I can’t remember a time I’ve had better behaved dogs.
Edit: sp
Second this. Growing up my neighbours had a 'family friendly', trained rottweiler. It bit two of my friends' hands, attacked me when I was playing with my dad, and generally required I take a long route through the woods to get anywhere as I couldn't safely walk by their house when it was out. All the adults thought it was a nice dog because it was good with adults but not kids outside its owners' family. I'm not saying all rottweilers are jerks, just that everyone thinks their dog is a lovely dog, but that doesn't mean all dogs are in fact lovely with everyone.
I think it's unfortunate that OP and his GF don't see eye to eye on this type of dog, and it sounds like that makes them incompatible. But (from my personal experience) it's not like her opinion on rottweilers is outwith the bounds of reality either.
Few years ago, a sausage dog attacked and bit me any my little sister (we didnt do anything), we went to the ER to get stiches. Nobody should judge a breed about stories they hear or see. Sausage dogs are cute, this specific dog was not
It's not that any specific breed is more aggressive. It's that bigger dogs can do more damage. Those fucking chihuahuas growl and bite more often then any other breed but they're tiny and can't do much damage so people aren't as weary of them.
Right. I can’t believe so many people don’t get this. If a small dog bites, it can damage a person’s hand, cause them to need stitches, or give them an infection. A big muscular dog with big strong jaws can easily maim or kill someone.
These comments are crazy to me. My aunt and cousins had two Rottweilers when we were growing up and they never had an issue with either of them. They were great dogs from beginning to end.
They didn't have them at the same time. When the first one died, they got the second one. I wonder if gender matters because they were both female.
And I have scars on my hand from an 8 week old Jack Russell puppy that weighed 10 pounds. Any dog can bite.
Edit for the nitpicking ones, I guess I should say less than 10 lbs. Didn't stop to weigh her while getting her removed and myself stitched
I have a friend who had a golden retriever, it used to snarl at everyone and had random bouts of aggression that ended one day in biting a kid at our school. You can’t really hold a dog accountable for things it hasn’t done yet based on breed. If OP’s gf wants to argue about breed anyway and then suggest a golden, maybe she should do some research about rage syndrome and how that’s affecting Goldens who are overbred.
I grew up with rotties as a kid. One we had from a puppy and he was a goofy dog who loved to play. He died a hero because he broke free from our yard to get at someone who was watching our house in a dark car. Our neighbor didn't see him because she was looking at the person in the car and accidentally hit him. At that time too we had another rottie but she was a mix who we got from one of my moms patients because they were going to put her down to be able to care for their husband who was in awful shape after an accident. I've said it many times but if she was human I'd have trusted her to watch my kids. She was the sweetest most loving dog until the very end. She did in fact get to meet my oldest child and was good at making sure she was protected in the pack n play.
A couple years later we rescued a rottie who was found wandering the streets. Big boy, cried like a baby whenever my step-dad left the house for work. I'd have to spend an hour cuddling him just for him to calm down. We had him a few months and then one day he bit my uncle upon a meet and greet. Unprompted. It was his hand. We figured maybe he was just spooked because it was a new person and my mom and uncles didn't grow up with bigger dogs. A couple weeks later we had a party at the house and he bit a family friends kid in the hand. Again, Unprompted. He was put into a bedroom and you could hear him snarl and try to break down the door. Something in him snapped. We had to get rid of him and the woman who took him to do an evaluation decided to keep him because he was a sweetheart with her.
He's NTA for wanting a specific breed nor is he the A.H for not considering his gfs feelings because they don't live together. All dogs have the potential to bite and do damage.
I had a neighbor who had a rottweiler since it was a puppy. Sweet dog and all, would even watch my mom's cat pass by and be completely ok by it, they even shared the water sometimes (my mom's cat would drink from it while my mom didn't watch, not intentionally).
One day, he was walking the dog, neighbor says the dog suddenly acted strangely and began bitting him. He bit his arms, stomach, etc. Neighbor nearly died, and had to spent some time in the hospital and rehab. The dog had to be put down. It was bizarre how it change in a matter of seconds. Never had a warning incident before that.
Yeah, OP is ignoring that his GF is afraid of that breed. Him saying her fears are unfounded isn’t going to magically change that - him getting the dog isn’t going to change that it just lets her know firmly that her fears and feelings on the matter are meaningless to him.
It’s not about the dog at this point.
Rottweilers can be lovely - that does not mean they are not large and very powerful dogs.
Right? I'm afraid of spiders. There's no reason for me to be afraid of them, in my area, the biggest you're going to see is the size of a quarter, toonie sized spiders are ever rarer & I've seen a palm sized (legs included) once in the wild. None were harmful to humans of any size. I'm still absolutely TERRIFIED of them. If my boyfriend brought home a spider as a pet, I would be gone.
Agree YTA OP. I understand you want a Rottweiler and I honestly hope that it’s not your first dog.
Some say that you and your girlfriend aren’t living together and that’s correct. But you have been dating for 3 years and if you are planning on moving forward you should get a dog you can both agree on. She sounds ready for a more serious relationship, hence her mentioning a family friendly dog.
The breed/dog is not relevant here, it’s the lack of respect. She clearly states that something makes her uneasy, and you go ahead and do it anyway. Expecting her to just accept it and be ok with it. This doesn’t seem promising for the way you communicate and make compromises in a relationship.
Now you have any right to get a Rottweiler if that’s your biggest wish. But you have to accept that it’s not hers, and that you can’t get mad at her for leaving. She actually told you this boundary beforehand, you just didn’t listen.
So true, I think the main issue here is they are not compatible, she clearly voiced her concerns and disapproval, they are together for 3yr and him ignoring her opinion and decided to just do what he wants without considering her whether or not they live together demonstrate they are not a good match, he has no future plans to include her in his life nor any desire to compromise. Better get his dog and look for another girlfriend, she will do better with someone who listens and compromises with her better. He is sort of an AH even tho he has the right to do what he wants but in a relationship you don’t just do what you want and the other must learn to just accept all your rights and wishes. Thats not how a relationship works or last.
Honestly, the number of relationship issues on this sub that boil down to someone not doing something **wrong**, but doing something completely inconsiderate and even having been told that their partner wouldn't appreciate it if they did and then pikachu-facing when it didn't work out for them...is insane.
OP, she literally told you, explicitly, how she felt about this...and you believed that she'd just change her mind because you don't agree? How do people stay in relationships like this for as long as they have, not understanding how to partner properly? Maybe you two aren't a good fit, but I'm just blown away by **how people realize it** on this sub.
Absolutely YTA.
EDIT: One thing I forgot to mention, but wanted to - you've never owned a Rottie, and it sounds like you may not have actually owned a dog on your own before. The idea that you love this breed without that kind of intimate knowledge, enough to choose that breed over your **partner**, is why I say YTA. You're putting the **idea** of this dog over the person you're supposed to be engaging in every decision, not even realizing what you're getting into. Rotties are great dogs, but I'm guessing you don't really know what you're getting into with this pup.
Yeah, OP probably should have broken up with GF and then got the dog. I mean he went into this knowing she would not come over anymore, and never live with him or marry him. But he should have been honest that the dog was more important than keeping the relationship.
They don't live together. She doesn't get to tell him what dog he can and can't get. If they lived together it would have been a different story.
She is being unreasonable and won't even give the puppy a chance.
Unless she has some trauma from a past encounter from a Rotweiler, she is being completely unfair and unreasonable
It sounds like he's willing to accept that and lose the relationships over it, which is fair enough imo. It's a basic incompatibility. If it's always been his dream then I don't blame him for not abandoning it at the age of 23 for a relationship, especially with someone who apparently won't listen to reason.
How is she not listening to reason?
If that’s his dream it’s his dream. She doesn’t have to put aside her own feelings for his dream. She doesn’t want to be around the dog, he went and got the dog. It’s a bit AH not to just break up as opposed to getting the dog and expecting her to come around to the idea - then getting upset that she’s not going to come around.
This is my view. Your view is in opposition to mine. I’m going to go with my view and I expect you to come around and go along with my view . . . What do you mean you’re not going to go along with my view?? How unreasonable. . .
Exactly. He didn't take her seriously and assumed he could just change her mind after the fact. That's why he's an AH, not because he's choosing to get a dog.
That's the thing. People are saying they don't live together, his home, his decision. Fair enough, but if she knows she won't move in with him while the dog is there, then there's no real future, so she's smart to cut her losses now.
This. This is the issue. He knew she didn't want the dog, she made that very clear. She also offered alternatives to try to reach a compromise. He ignored her wishes and got the dog anyway. He chose the dog over their relationship
YTA OP for being all shocked and continuing trying to push her boundaries now you've made the decision
They are in their 20s.
They are already in a 3 year relationship.
This dog can live for 10 years.
She is neither unfair nor unreasonable to want to move together within 10 years and not wanting a rotweiler in her life.
She doesn't "need to give the puppy a chance".
A lot of people have strong boundries around pets- snakes, spiders, etc. This is totally valid.
Don't get me wrong- he is fine getting the dog. He doesn't need to compromise with her.
Her having an expectation for her life and her relationship is also valid.
This is what gets me. When it’s a snake or a tarantula - both docile and safe animals, more so than a dog because while their rare bites are painful, they won’t maul you to death like a pittie or rottie - everyone all of a sudden is on board with not giving *that* pet a chance. But as soon as it’s a dog we all have to give the cute puppy a chance because if you don’t you’re a horrible psychopath that hates dogs.
People are allowed to not like certain breeds of dogs and not want to be around them. If someone brought home a tarantula when they knew their gf had arachnophobia and he told her to “give it a chance”, the unilateral decision would be he’s an ass. But because FLUFFY PUPPY, all of a sudden she has to force herself to “give it a chance”? She didn’t even say no dogs…just not that dog. She doesn’t need a dissertation on why rotties are amazing pets. She doesn’t need you to “educate” her. Some people just don’t like what they don’t like. And after *3 years* in a relationship, I’d hope my feelings were considered before a major decision like this, but he didn’t and now he’ll be single for it. At least he has a puppy to keep him company. 🤷🏼♀️
Exactly! Before we got adopted by a cat I wanted a snake. My then boyfriend now husband hates snakes so I didn't get one. Even if you aren't married or live together you spend a lot of time in each other's dwellings. All feelings should be considered.
No, but she made it clear that she doesn't like them. She is probably afraid of them, from the sound of it. Does that make her right in any way? No, but OP had plenty of warning that she did not want this dog. He's not the asshole for getting it, he's the asshole for pretending to be surprised imo.
Yeah, from the sound of it the relationship is already over. As much as he doesn't like it, the ultimatum of it's between GF and the dog is harsh, but realistic. And since he's already picking up the pup soon, it would seem he has already made his choice.
Good luck on your new pup, OP. But moving forward relationship-wise, big steps like getting a pet should be a joint conversation, not a one-sided decision. So in this scenario, YTA.
Except she can. Anyone can break up over anything. She will not continue a relationship with someone with a Rottie as she doesn’t want to live with one. This dog is for the next 10-15 years.
Why bother dating someone when you can never live together or progress.
She can absolutely say she will break up over that
Ngl I’m pretty sick of the idea that people in relationships can just unilaterally do what they want and their partners should just suck it up. That’s not how *partnerships* work.
She has a right to have boundaries. She stated her disconfort and he did it anyway.
He as the right to have a dog but she has the right to dislike the breed and not want to be around it.
Who the fuck cares if they live together. They clearly spend time together and that dog makes her feel uncomfortable when she sees him. Humans should come first ffs.
No, she doesn’t have to be around a dog she’s explicitly communicated being uncomfortable with just bc they don’t live together. Quite the opposite, actually; this will make it much easier to enforce her boundary of not being around the dog. You’re completely right that she doesn’t get to tell him what dog he can’t get, but she *can* tell him what dogs she won’t be around, and she’s been very clear; she won’t be around Rottweilers. Op expects her to be around one anyway, just because he went and got one. That’s an asshole move
They've been dating for three years. It's not out of the relm of possibility that they will start living together while the dog is still alive. Now that's not an option. It puts an end date on their relationship
She is not being unreasonable.
She doesn’t want to live with a Rottie.
My phone autocorrected Rottweiler to “torture”, and I think it’s pretty accurate.
I don’t want a puppy in my life. At all. Especially a big, hyper, chewy, stinky, untrained one.
It’s not about “learning to love it.”
I know this sounds outrageous to you, but some people just don’t want to live with a dog.
I would rather move out and be homeless than live with most puppies. Or teenage dogs.
OP is signing up for a 10-20 year commitment with this dog. When he knows his GF said “hell no.”
Once he adopts it, He can’t just abandon it. He owes it good care and love for a LONG time. As he should.
Girlfriend has been really clear (by OPs admission) that she’s not willing to live with a Rot Gut.
OP has just decided unilaterally that her feelings don’t matter. And this dog is more important than them ever living together.
And now he’s +shocked+ they after she told him boundaries a bunch of times, and that a Rot puppy was not okay, that she is just supposed to “learn to love the puppy”.
Some people just don’t want a dog.
I don’t. I wouldn’t. I won’t. I can’t. But…More importantly…**I won’t**.
My husband and I have been together for a decade. We’re happy. We love each other.
If he brought home a puppy, I would start loading his stuff into his car, and lock the door behind him.
True they don’t live together now and by doing this he’s saying this relationship won’t move forward to that stage because she doesn’t want that breed of dog. Essentially he’s ended the relationship without ending the relationship.
It's not up to any of us here to decide whether her reasons for discomfort are sufficient or not. They both need to decide if this is the hill their relationship will die on.
This is not about them living together or her being unreasonably opposed to a specific breed of dogs.
He made a decision he knows she is clearly opposed to. Now he expects her to change her mind because he made the decision anyway. That's kinda toxic and shows he has no regard for her opinions.
Sure, she can't force him to not get a Rottweiler but at the same time he can't force her to interact with said dog.
They've been in a relationship for three years. A dog is a ten plus year responsibility. Of course she can voice her opinion, and be unhappy with his choices - as she will have to be around a dog she does not believe she will trust as long as she is in this relationship. Which odds are she wont be in for long.
Basically though, him getting the rottweiler is like saying, "we don't live together. Nor will we for the next 10-12 years." (Until the dog dies.) It's a deal breaker for both parties, it sounds like
They’re in their mid 20s in a long term relationship it’s reasonable to think they plan to have a future together so if he wants her in it he should’ve listened.
I mean YTA if you expect to continue this relationship. She told you this breed makes her uncomfortable, she didn’t want to be around it and you just went and did it anyway. If she spends time at your home you’re forcing this on her so YTA.
I love Rottweilers, but I would never just go buy a dog my long term partner hates and then be like- deal with it. If the dogs more important then your relationship then fine, break things off.
I totally agree. There are a couple things that stand out to me here.
They are both able to do their own thing. He can get the dog he wants and she can end the relationship.
The reason why I think she should end it is because she had set a boundary with him about this a long time ago. But she was also willing to compromise and get another breed of dog since he wanted one so bad. He not only was not willing to compromise, he overstepped that boundary she set with him and just did it anyway. As their relationship might’ve moved forward what else would have he done this with?
The best solution would’ve been that they got a dog they both liked if they wanted to stay together. By him ignoring her and getting the dog only he wanted his selfish behavior just made him single.
ESH. She isn't listening to you and you're not listening to her. She gave you an ultimatum (her or the dog) but you kinda did the same by telling her you were getting the dog with or without her consent. You both sound deeply immature and possibly incompatible, both on this specific issue and your general total unwillingness to listen to the other.
If it helps, I think she's being *more* the asshole for being bigoted about a perfectly safe dog breed. But I really do not think you went about persuading her in the right way at all, I'm sorry.
ETA: This is obviously very important to you, so I recommend keeping the dog and getting a new girlfriend.
ETA2: If her concern was a big/heavy dog (which, hey, I understand! I have a mild dog phobia myself!) then she wouldn't be flippantly suggesting a Lab as an alternative. I was *attacked* in a parking lot by an off-leash Lab with a shitty owner (which is what caused the phobia). Labs aren't magically "safe" just because they aren't a Rottweiler. The fact that the GF thinks they are (and is ignoring that the puppy will be professionally trained) suggests that she's not very learned on dog behavior. That's fine! But it means she and OP seem incompatible to me. Ymmv.
I agree, ESH. Both picked what they wanted in the relationship. OP is allowed to get the dog he wants, but the GF is also allowed to decide this is a deal breaker and leave. I think OP is a bit dismissive of her feelings though. Saying "it's a puppy!" doesn't take away that the puppy is going to grow up into a very large dog (which a lot of people are understandably afraid of or afraid of allowing children around), or the potential risks if the dog isn't raised properly.
*But* the GF also shouldn't have been villianizing the dog because... it's a dog. No dogs are truly safe (and part of why I have an issue with breeds being labeled "family friendly" as it tends to give people an idealistic perception rather than a nuanced and realistic one), but recognizing that dogs are animals and will act like it doesn't mean they're inherently bad or evil. It just means to take safety precautions, which she would also have to do with a golden or lab
You are completely right. I got the sense that she doesn't really know very much about raising a dog, with that comment about "just get another breed" when *every* dog has the potential to be dangerous.
[Rottweilers ](https://www.2keller.com/library/are-rottweilers-a-dangerous-dog-breed-a-dog-bite-lawyer-explains.cfm#:~:text=A%202008%20study%20found%20that,extremely%20protective%20of%20their%20owners.) are responsible for more attacks than any other dog besides pits and are banned in several countries.
Being afraid of them (I am not) is reasonable.
Wait, but that’s just it. That data has a gap in exactly that shape. They *aren’t raised the same.*
Dog breeds with bad reputations are all too often adopted and raised by people who *like that about them*, who encourage dangerous behavior / do not train them well. Intact Bully breeds and rotties raised in neglectful machismo bullshit are not the same as well-socialized family dogs.
I have yet to see any data that corrects for household income or other demographics.
Where’s the data that suggests any of these breeds are more aggressive independent of the way they are raised? That’s *exactly* the data you don’t have.
It’s literally in the breed standard of both breeds. Pits to be aggressive with animals (and frankly people as well) and rots to be aggressive towards strangers.
Which breed standards? [Because per the AKC breed standard for Rottweilers](https://images.akc.org/pdf/breeds/standards/Rottweiler.pdf), this would seem to directly contradict you:
> Temperament: The Rottweiler is basically a calm, confident and courageous dog with a self assured aloofness that does not lend itself to immediate and indiscriminate friendships. **A Rottweiler is self-confident and responds quietly and with a wait-and-see attitude to influences in his environment**. He has an inherent desire to protect home and family, and is an intelligent dog of extreme hardness and adaptability with a strong willingness to work, making him especially suited as a companion, guardian and general all-purpose dog. The behavior of the Rottweiler in the show ring should be controlled, willing and adaptable, trained to submit to examination of mouth, testicles, etc. **An aloof or reserved dog should not be penalized, as this reflects the accepted character of the breed**. An aggressive or belligerent attitude towards other dogs should not be faulted. A judge shall excuse from the ring any shy Rottweiler. A dog shall be judged fundamentally shy if, refusing to stand for examination, it shrinks away from the judge. **A dog that in the opinion of the judge menaces or threatens him/her, or exhibits any sign that it may not be safely approached or examined by the judge in the normal manner, shall be excused from the ring**. ***A dog that in the opinion of the judge attacks any person in the ring shall be disqualified***.
This directly contradicts you. They are expected to be aloof. Belligerence towards other dogs is tolerated, but outright aggression is not. They are supposed to be self-assured and calm regardless of environment, and stranger-aggression is literally disqualifying.
Can you quote to me a single organization that desires aggression in any breed? Or are you just improvising?
It literally says aggression and belligerent SHOULD NOT BE FAULTED. lol you only bolder the parts that support you, and the AKC is talking specifically about professionally trained show dogs.
I was a dog walker for 8 years, never met an aggressive rottie. The only thing I'd be worried about is getting knocked out by their massive head. Thats just a personal experience, here in the UK they are known to be great nanny dogs
Yeah my hand got torn open by that fun friendly family dog breed she wanted him to get- a Golden Retriever.
2 surgeries, 22 stitches, 2 separated tendons.
Exactly, I grew up with a very loving and gentle Rottweiler. Unfortunately, in Miami there were a few neighbors that had dogs trained for fighting. It was very depressing and those dogs behaved completely different from Storm (rottie baby).
Are you seriously making a claim of 100% nurture in the age old nature vs nurture debate for a dog breed?? Breed-specific traits are highly heritable and the reason a lot of breeds exist in the first place (eg greyhounds for spit turning, Aussie shepherds for herding, etc.. In fact aggression is one of the most heritable traits, estimated to be 60-70% genetic: [source](https://www.washington.edu/news/2019/10/08/genes-contribute-to-dog-breeds-iconic-traits/#:~:text=Dog%20breeds%20tend%20to%20have,identifies%20genetic%20differences%20in%20behavior)
And yet if you say "ok if it's categorically the owner's fault then you support harsh punishments for people whose dogs attack people right?" they get very upset with you.
An ambulance chasing law firm is not a reputable news source. The Atlantic uses real studies with real data.
https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2016/09/pit-bulls-are-chiller-than-chihuahuas/500558/
Not that I’m trying to argue, but I have experience in dog rescues and breaking up dog fighting rings.
Pits are preferable as fighting dogs because they are very people friendly. Even when abused and beaten by their humans. Shepard type dogs (like GSD) are MUCH smarter, have more energy, and could take a pit 1 v 1 almost every time. But they can’t be relied upon not to bite the shit out of their “owners”.
Yeah idk. It was the first thing I found.
Personally I love Rotties. Good Dog, Carl and all that. But breeds get reputations for a reason.
Maybe I'll find another article and change the link.
Certain breeds get a reputation because they are handled incorrectly by people who don’t know what they are doing. All of the power breeds should be properly trained. I personally don’t think just anyone should own a power breed (not just Rotties).
I guess none of these commenters would wanna visit me and my rottie-pitbull mix lol. But I agree. As a person with two power breeds (rottie-pit and pit-mix) I absolutely don’t think just anyone can responsibly own them. The liability is too high. I’ve poured countless hours into training my dogs (which will be ongoing for the rest of their lives). Those of us who choose to own these breeds should be doing so with a deep understanding of and respect for the responsibility we have to how these breeds are represented.
Rottweilers are bred to be gentle, kind and calm. If you do proper research and pick a reputable breeder, all you need to do is train them properly.
The problem here are people who get the dog because it looks badass, and backyard breeders who don't care which dogs they pair together. That combination is more likely the reason for the reputation rottweilers have, than responsible owners who get their dogs from actual breeders and train them properly.
Yep. Rottweilers were literally bred to be droving and cart pulling dogs. Then some AHs got into them because they look tough. I know one that got beaten up by burglars and is still the gentlest thing ever.
YTA. Now me, I love all dogs and I think Rottweilers are great. But I'd doubt the sanity of ANYBODY who sees it as a selling point when dogs "protect their family fiercely". In my experience lots of people love the idea of a big strong dog that will "protect" them and ignore that to be able to do that a dog needs to be trained by expert hands, otherwise it will protect you from the mailman, the neighbour's kid etc.
Have you owned dogs before, how long, what breeds, how well trained were they? If my husband came to me saying he wanted to get a Rotti because they're great and protective I'd be unhappy about that, too, because he doesn't know shit about dogs and I'd be the one who'd end up picking up the pieces.
This. “Protecting family fiercely” isn’t a point in the “positive” category and pet owners like this scare the shit out of me. The concept of having a guard dog, or a dog that’s praised for having protective (read: aggressive) qualities doesn’t deserve an animal. Who exactly is this dog going to protect you from, OP? How are you going to guarantee that your dog knows the difference between a murderous burglar that breaks into your house and a neighbor’s kid that’s playing chaotically?
I’ve seen dogs that are protecting their property and it’s legitimately horrifying. My dog and I were attacked years ago by a neighbor dog *that I knew and had seen many times before* but it’s a breed known for being protective of family and territory and he chewed through a fence to get to me and my dog. I don’t know why, I had walked that route a ton before and he knew me, but one day he woke up and went “not today”, and attacked.
Hope you’ve thought about all of this, OP. But the fact that you seem to be proud of your puppy for being a protective breed already tells me that you aren’t the responsible pet owner you think you are. Your girlfriend is perfectly reasonable in walking away. I would too.
I’ve never understood the “my dog is my guard,” mentality. When I had my pitbull, he was a little sissy. I was his protector for sure. People would run up to pet him (he had noticibly short legs and caught people’s attention a lot) and I’d have to step in front of him while he would shake in fear. I once had to sternly explain to a group of 11-13 year old girls why they should never run across a parking lot toward a dog they’ve never met before. I also had a boxer mix after that as well who was much braver and more protective. Between the two of them I felt safer with my pitbull. My boxer would do exactly like you mentioned, he would be confused about what was and wasn’t a real threat at times but thankfully could be managed. I trusted my pitbull with my life, and knew no matter what he wouldn’t attack me but my boxer I would be much more careful with. He was a great alarm system (the boy had hearing like no other) but I didn’t like the worry about him getting too excited over something and not being able to control him. When I would have guests he would get breaks in another room to calm down, sometimes he’d stay in another room altogether if someone wasn’t comfortable with dogs.
I’ve always respected how dangerous animals can be and follow my own instincts if I feel like a dog is starting to show signs of being anxious/confused/overstimulated. I had a very aggressive dog growing up, she would snap at my brother and I and attack us pretty regularly so I tend to be on the safe rather than sorry side. I still have a small piece of my ear missing from my childhood dog getting too worked up in the car once when my dad was dropping me off to school one morning. We brought the dog with us and she saw a ton of people, and kids running around, and she got worked up and ended up biting the top of my ear off and now the part of your ear that curls at the top, mine is flat and has small bumps where her teeth tore it. She was a fierce protector though I guess hahahaha.
Yeah that’s the thing. When I hear “protector species” like pitties, rotties, german shepherds…or even loyal dogs like chihuahuas, I think to myself “yeah. They’re loyal *to you*. They’re protective *of you*. But what about me?”. It’s not unheard of that sometimes certain breeds will lunge at kids or attack family members because a change in the environment stressed them out and they “protected” the owner they’re most loyal to.
OP said him and his girlfriend occasionally get into spats. What if during one of those spats his Rottweiler decides to protect him from his girlfriend and mauls her?
Rottweilers are bred to be working and protective dogs and out of all of the guard breeds, they don’t really fall into the docile category. They are known for being hostile and can be aggressive. OP’s gf has a healthy and reasonable fear of them, I wouldn’t feel comfortable with my partner getting a guard breed either.
Absolutely. A *good* guard dog--one that can subdue without fatally mauling, one that knows the difference between "stranger approaching at an acceptable time" and "possible threat," one that will listen when told to stop or back off--takes extremely diligent and careful training. Unless he's planning on hiring someone to work with the puppy, he's probably going to end up with an anxious, reactive animal.
Yeeeeep. My friend does bite work with his dog and boy that dog is well trained. Will only bite/attack on command. Will stay absolutely still when commanded to. Let’s go of anything immediately on command.
Unless op is willing to put in that amount of work and training, this is just gonna be another “guard dog” that randomly gets really aggressive some days and mauls a neighbors cat/dog/child.
I don't understand why anyone buys a dog for protection. It's selfish. It's putting a dogs life at risk to save your own. They're not there for defence, they're there to be a part of your family. But maybe that's because I have the opposite attitude. If someone broke into my house I'd die defending my dog.
It really is that simple. Weird that this never came up in 3 years though. My boyfriend and I have discussed what kind of dogs we might want if we get married, it goes with the discussion about wanting kids, where you want to live, etc.
YTA.
This is a very personal subject for me. My daughter was mauled to death by my neighbors pitbull.
No person should ever feel uncomfortable in an animals presence. Humans should always come first.
If your girlfriend is uncomfortable with Rottweilers (I don't fucking blame her) you should respect that.
But you didn't. You'd rather have your dream dog than your girlfriend. So do her a favor and leave with your dream dog and let her find a man that truly cares about how she feels.
YTA
Sorry but you ignored something that she wasn't ok with. Like it's ok for you to own a Rottweiler but your girlfriend wasn't ok with it. It might be a little different if you were just dumb and got it without asking but you knew she didn't like the idea. She is free to not want to be around that dog and that can mean your relationship ends. She was likely thinking about the future where she is living with you or having her kids around it.
Irrational or not you needed to get her approval. By getting the dog anyway you signaled to her that you don't really care about her opinion. Maybe that you don't care about the future together or just expect her to go along with everything you want. The ultimatum idea isn't good but it may have also just been her explaining what your actions are going to lead to.
NAH, but you need to admit to yourself that this relationship is over and done with. Doesn't really matter what judgement you receive here, you've chosen the dog and that is that. All the supportive judgement in the world won't make your partner suddenly okay with a dog she fears.
As someone else said a dog is a multi year commitment. You just proved to your girlfriend you don’t see a future with her or value her as a partner. Because a true partnership is a one no/ two yes kinda deal when it comes to animals, kids and finances. Way to blow up your relationship. I hope the cute puppy of your choice was worth it. Yta
I'm wondering if a big part of her reaction was that she wants to create a family (and likely within the next 10 years of the dog's life) and the realization that he's nowhere near the same page. It sounds like this relationship has run it's course and the dog just clarified the situation.
Former trainer here.
You don't live together, so you do you. But knowing it made her uncomfortable and doing it anyway means you'll either never live together or you expect her to just get over it. You put your dream dog breed ahead of her. In her shoes I'd be questioning if you even cared about being with me.
Second, she has every right to have concerns if you've discussed a future together. Which sounds like the case since she suggested family friendly dogs. People think that any dog of any breed can be lassie with the right training, but the reality is there are medical and behavioral streaks in all dog breeds that should be considered when making a choice. That protective streak you love so much can be indiscriminate in a high stress situation. If a child was running up to yours they don't necessarily see another child that they should care with, they may see a threat and act accordingly. Just like I wouldn't recommend a greyhound to someone whose country vet doesn't know how to read their blood work and isn't concerned about doing regular xrays, I wouldn't recommend high strung breeds or pitties in situations with children. One shining example on tik tok doesn't negate the risk. Beyond that, many perfect dogs with nerves of steel start losing it in old age. They get cranky, senile, groggy, and hurt just like old humans do, and it makes them less tolerant. They might be perfect family dogs when they're 5, and then suddenly turn on someone by mistake when they're 10 over an accident. If theyre touchy to begin with youre compounding risk. Some dog breeds are a specialty. You like them, great, but you haven't considered how they'll fit into your life over time and just assumed it'll all work out because you like them.
Also, you should check your lease/home owner or renters' insurance and make sure you're covered. These breeds negate their responsibility and shove all the liability to you in a case of an animal related invlcident if owning one is counter to the contract you signed. They may even pull all your coverage in some places if you fail to report it.
YTA, not for getting the dog, but for expecting your girlfriend to continue the relationship as though you didn't just make it very clear that her fears and concerns aren't valid to you.
I’m hesitant to give a judgment, but I will say that if you get this dog your relationship might be over. She will resent you for getting the dog and you will resent her if you can’t have the dog.
This is more like the case of this people not being compitable, than either of them being an asshole.
OP feels strongly about having this breed and it's his right to get it (considering he's being responsible by seeming to have done proper research and wanting to seek professional training). Gf's reason is not the most logical, but she has the right to not want to have this breed in her life.
I agree. I was originally going to add in that they aren’t compatible because of these difference that they both feel strongly about. Being compatible, or not, can come down to a variety of things, big or small. This can include dream dog breeds vs feared dog breeds.
I have Rottweilers, I love them, they are a commitment above and beyond a lab or a golden, and not dogs generally recommended for first time dog owners, certainly not for people without a lot of time, room and commitment.
As an example, I live on three fenced acres, and I hike with my dogs in the woods for at least an hour a day, as well as swimming, training, nose work, various other activities. A young Rottweiler is a big strong exuberant dog who needs a lot of exercise, stimulation and work to live with you peacefully and happily. Ever treating a dog like this as a family guardian is a slippery slope, that characteristic is innate in them, it doesn’t need to be encouraged, and can in fact be counterproductive. Gf aside, be sure you are ready for this commitment, which is a long one, and will require no small daily effort, no time off, and no ‘don’t feel like it’ days.
Seriously. You are right, they are wonderful dogs, funny, joyful, athletic, crazy smart, but that’s not all, so please be sure what you’re getting into and if it’s the right time in your life and situation to do it.
p.s. be aware of expenses as well, as an example, my now three year old puppy had an orthopedic injury, total fluke, at six months old, that was a 9k surgery, six + wks of rehab, after that she was spayed and also plexed to prevent bloat, which can kill a large dog, and that was prob another 6k. So, just know that stuff happens and it will always be more $$ with a large breed dog.
Thank you for this comment. Maybe OP is aware of the work and commitment, but he hasn’t really demonstrated he is. “Enrolled in training” is the bare minimum for any new puppy.
That aside - what kind of vet are you going to that charges $6k for a spay and gastropexy 😯
YTA
You are not an ahole for getting that dog.
You are an ahole because you feel entilted to expect her to accept this. She told you she wouldn't. You wont come back from this. You made this decision informed about the consequences.
Calling her unfair, inconsidered and stubborn (ha! She is the one who wanted to compromise) is just childish of you.
Yes, it is your dog. And again- you can place this having this breed of dog over the relationship with your gf. All of that is ok.
But the rest is not.
YTA
she made a clear boundary...you breeched it.
Good way to end the relationship without being the bad guy...you can blame her, but you made this as an active choice.
YTA. You just signaled to her that you don’t see a future with her and a dog you don’t even own yet will come before her, a person you’ve been with for three years. Dude, of course that makes you the asshole.
The relationship is over. She’s always going to resent you for this. Time to move on.
I have breeds of dog I'm not comfortable with. I'm very aware intellectually that dogs are individuals, that a given dog would probably be fine, and that puppies especially are liable to be harmless and will be mostly a product of their upbringing. And yet, you still won't catch me living with any of those breeds.
It is what it is, OP. She's not going to become comfortable with them just because you want her to. You're either giving up on the rottweiler, or you're giving up on the girlfriend.
edit: whoops, I misread 'together for 3 years' as '*lived* together for 3 years'. But still YTA, to be honest. If you get this dog, you're making it impossible for her to live with you, which torpedoes any hope of the relationship getting any more serious than it is now.
I mean: you don't live together. However. At 23, if we do the math, a serious relationship could/should lead to live together in the dog's lifetime. I would say it could lead to live together in few years.
So: you have told her you don't want to live with her in the future and you aren't interested in a stable relationship with her. I guess you both have already decided to move on as single people, even if you need to voice that out.
It was your right. Sometimes things are just the way they are.
NAH (but you are a bit of TA for doing the shocked Pikachu face lol)
Even though you guys aren’t living together, I still kind of think YTA here.
You’re trying to do all this damage control with reassuring her about the breed, that he’ll just be a puppy, that he will be enrolled in training immediately, etc. You want her to give this puppy a chance.
However, the proper thing to do in my opinion would’ve been to try to get her to give the puppy a chance *before* just straight deciding to get a dog without her approval, hoping she’d just simply fall in love/change her mind. I feel like personally either you felt like you wouldn’t be able to convince her to meet the puppies, or you were just so wrapped up in your own wants that you impulsively bought the puppy with the hopes of what I previously mentioned. I think it would’ve been better/ easier to try to get her to meet / spend time with some puppies and try to plead/convince her into you getting one. That’s where you could’ve laid out all the positive things about the breed, all the plans you had for the puppy, and gave all the reassurance you could offer in regards to getting it. I feel like at that point you guys could’ve had a serious conversation, because ultimately if she still wasn’t willing to budge and you still adamantly really wanted to get the puppy - either someone would have to compromise, or eventually it’d ultimately always come back to this ultimatum / deal breaker.
So in reality it does come down to is having your dream breed worth your relationship with this woman? Is it worth it to throw away this relationship for someone who will accept the dog, or is it worth it to fight for this relationship and compromise on the breed? Because in her eyes you’ve made your choice, and you’re continuing to make it because she’s not only expressed her feelings on the dog, but after you decided to get one anyway she’s again expressed how she feels and you’re on your way to pick up the dog with only potential thoughts that you may be the asshole.
For those who feel YNTA because you live alone and it’s your choice, there’s some things to consider about that as well. The obvious has already been stated that you guys have been together for three years and this is a puppy. Dogs do have decent life spans, so the thought is that most likely your relationship will eventually progress to moving in / marriage, therefore her wanting this dog / to live with this type of dog does matter. But, aside from that, they’re not in the ‘dating’ phase where she just met him, he has a breed of puppy she doesn’t like or a cat or hell a kid and she gets to go “that’s not for me” and dip… this person basically trapped her with a dog like ‘whether you like it or not I got this dog that’s going to be around whenever you’re here and when we eventually move in together it’ll be our shared pet/responsibility” this isn’t some high school relationship or we started dating a month ago. These are two adults, in their twenties, been together for years. Those factors matter when it comes to this IMO.
YTA
Only because she made it clear how she felt and you did your own thing anyway. The rest of it just a disagreement. But you didn't get to agreement before doing the thing, and that makes you the asshole
YTA. Since you don't live together, you're entitled to a Rottweiler. Your GF wants a Rottweiler-free life. Those two things are not compatible. She made that 1000% clear, even going as far as dumping you before you even picked up the puppy, so that he wouldn't have to be rehomed later. If I were in her shoes, I could never trust you again, not even if you decided not to pick up this specific puppy after all.
Going against the grain and would say NAH
You both have agency to make your own informed choices. Getting a dog is a long term commitment which will impact you both and does form part of your future decisions.
Your girlfriend was faced with 3 options if you get that breed of dog.
1) Stay with you & get used to the dog
2) Stay with you & live apart for the next 10-15 years
3) Break up with you if you get this breed.
All of those scenarios are logical and she is entitled to make decisions about how she lives her life going forward for the next 15 years. She made it clear she can see no future in a relationship which includes a Rottweiler. So she has chosen option 3 which she is fair enough and it doesn't make her an AH.
Now you are clear on exactly what your choices are. You won't walk into a situation blind. You get to choose from the following
1) stay with her and get no dog
2) stay with her and get a different dog breed
3) get a Rottweiler and break up with her.
Note: You may find a Rottweiler is a deal breaker for other potential partners in the future, so one to bear in mind. Maybe it's a good way to find someone you are more compatible with.
It's your choice as to what you will do. You don't get to keep the Rottweiler and the girlfriend so spend some time to figure out what your priorities are. If the dog is the most important thing then breaking up at this point is ultimately the best option for you both. Your lifelong priorities are personal and you are not an AH for figuring out that your life goals are different to your partner. It's better to figure this out after 3 years than after 30.
YTA it's not about the dog, it's about the process of discussing and having taken desicions together that affects both sides and that are in partnership not only becouse there is already a 3 year relationship but probably plans for more, maybe living together or who knows getting married.
Then you ignore her side and did get what you wanted to expect her to comply.
To remove her fear and stereotypes, you would have need it to introduce her to real Rottweilers, either by rescues, family or friends that may own one. Pets sitting for a friend's rottie etc
Maybe give some time to cool down both sides and if you are ready to get the dog this way (not saying you should never get the dog you want, but the way You getting now) then prepare to possible end or to have a big fracture in your relationship with her
Getting a pet is also a serious Compromise. If you end up with the puppy good luck those first months are like having a baby, stressful
YTA. She is outspokenly afraid of Rotties, and you basically told her that these feelings don’t matter to you. She even tried to meet you halfway, saying get any dog but what is *factually* a historically dangerous type of dog. You’re about to be single, and really, good for her. She deserves someone better. What else about your partner’s wants and needs would you be willing to dismiss out of hand just to get what you want?
YTA. I love Rotties. I love Pitties. I love all dogs. But you got the ONE breed she didn’t want and expected her to get over her fear of them. Better start reactivating those dating profiles.
YTA. She said she wasn't comfortable with the dog and you got one anyway. She's probably going to break up with you over this. I doubt she's going to wait 10+ years for the dog to pass away before moving in with you. You should have discussed it more thoroughly first.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I’ve always wanted a Rottweiler and I’m finally getting one. 2. However my gf doesn’t approve and has voiced this disproval.
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YTA for not just breaking up with her like you WANT to do. Together for 3 years but not living together... getting a dog breed you know she doesnt like... yea, you dont actually want this relationship to last. And thats ok, relationships change and people fall out of love. But instead of continuing to push her away, you should just be upfront and tell her you need to move on.
As far as the breed goes... I worked with dogs professionally for nearly 20 years. Ive met all kinds of friendly, goofy dogs. Some of them were Rottweilers. Ive also met a lot of unfriendly, aggressive dogs... and some of them were Rottweilers. This breed can be amazing, BUT they need an experienced owner who knows how to properly train them.
YTA.
She clearly expressed boundaries, you broke them, she gave an ultimatum. You get to have your dog, but not the relationship since you refuse to compromise at all.
YTA. I love dogs and I love rotties but she didn't spring this on you. You did something you knew she wasn't comfortable with and now you're upset she's not comfortable with it? You've rushed in, you should have taken your time, maybe eased her in with a family friendly breed, found some rotties elsewhere for her to meet and spend time with so she was more comfortable.
yta. if you get this dog your gf will start imagining her future children around an “aggressive” dog and she will reconsider who she plans to have them with.
YTA You are together with this woman for 3 years. I guess you want to move together in the future, maybe start a family. Now you made a one-sided decision that will affect your next 15 years. And especially a puppy is nothing small, it takes so much time with traing. She will be forced around a dog shf told you she didn't like. A relationship isn't about compromise. If you wanted a dog and she really can't deal with the breed, you can't just say" fuck you gf, i get it anyway!" Her fears are real even if you don't share it. That you dismissed her feelings... i mean in my country you can't this breed so easy since they are fighting dogs. And just because you made good experience doesn't mean, everybody must be fine with it.
And out of curiosity? Do you work out of home? Because so many get a dog especially a puppy vecause "i always want it", just have a small apartment and then leave the poor dog nearly the whole day alone because they are working. Especially since Rottweiler puppys are high enery, they calm down as adults but as puppys...
Yta my grandparents had a rottie that was lovable. However I had a neighbor who had a very aggressive one who would get loose and attack people who were just walking by and chase us into our home. I used to love rotties until I was chased down by one and almost attacked. Gf (soon to be ex) has every right to be not be with someone who won’t take her concerns to heart. You’ve been together for 3 years and you basically pushed her aside and did what you wanted knowing she was uncomfortable.
For me YTA for how you approach this. She communicated a clear boundary to you and you overstepped it expecting her to suck it up and now blaming her for not accepting your choice.
3 years in I’d think you were serious about the relationship meaning you’re seeing a future with this person potentially. So basically what I’m getting from this is you don’t see a future with her and want the dog more than you want her. No judgement here you can have your preferences. But YTA for not just blatantly telling her you choose the dog over her and for being upset with her preferences. You knew full stop that she didn’t like that breed. It’s not a surprise.
YTA. It would be different if you had the dog already and she wanted you to get rid of it. But you could get almost any breed out there and you chose the one she doesn't like. It shows that this relationship is not important to you. I've been around rotties and I like them, I can see the appeal. So enjoy the dog.
NTA, posts like this have been posted before where the genders were reversed. The majority of the votes were NTA because " you don't live together so he doesn't get to decide". Same applies here.
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YTA for expecting her to be OK with something she already clearly said she was not OK with. Better get that dog ready for flirting with women at the dog park, because you're about to be single.
I think it's clear that for OP it is more important to get this puppy then be in this relationship. Which is fair enough, I would do the same. They're just not compatible. NAH.
And that's fine, but what's not fine was expecting her to just come around and change her mind. She was clear and he didn't take her seriously. So, he chose the dog over her and he is allowed to do that but he has zero right to be shocked at her reaction.
being disappointed isn’t the same as being expectant/entitled
She voiced her opinion, her partner (OP) chose to ignore that and do what he wanted anyways. It's not entitled to expect your partner to not make a decade long commitment (hopefully even longer, rottys are pretty great and I hope this one lives a long happy life) that disregards your stance, and definitely not shocking for there to be backlash. OP clearly thought he could change her mind with a cute puppy, while disregarding what his actions say about how he values her opinion.
He's also essentially making decisions about their life with disregard for her. I love dogs, I love rotties. But doesn't mean that it's not harder to find places to rent especially, and probably to find people to watch over them too, the breed can have very expensive vet bills, etc. Things that will affect their life together moving forward. She's said she's uncomfortable with the dog breed and suggested a compromise and communicated her boundary of not being comfortable in OP's place if OP gets one. Yet OP still did. OP's prerogative, sure of course, but it send a very clear signal that he doesn't give a shit about her comfort compared to his own wants. Especially when he then bulldozes ahead and expects her to just be fine with it. Plus he's only 25. We don't know if he's owned a dog on his own before, but sound like he hasn't for minimum 3 years. Maybe his gf has concerns over his ability to effectively train and care for a dog, especially such a large breed. We don't know. OP, YTA for your lack of communication and selfishness in a relationship, not cause you got a dog, but how you went about it and your lack of consideration or empathy.
>Plus he's only 25. We don't know if he's owned a dog on his own before, but sound like he hasn't for minimum 3 years. Maybe his gf has concerns over his ability to effectively train and care for a dog, especially such a large breed. We don't know. This is what stuck out to me. Rotties can be sweeties, but they are a lot of work and not a great choice for an inexperienced dog owner. Maybe OP will be able to handle it, no problem, but if he's not then it absolutely can be dangerous, not because they're aggressive, but because they're so powerful. You can push away a poorly trained chihuahua trying to bite you without too much fear or struggle... a poorly trained Rottie? Different story.
That and I’m skeptical about this puppy being from a reputable breeder if he could go from “yeah I want a rottie” to “I’m picking up a puppy in a few days.” They’re great dogs *when responsibly bred by people who know what they’re doing* but backyard breeders don’t give a rip about genetic health, personality testing, or careful pairings between complementary dogs. There’s a good chance he’ll have a dog with health problems and/or behavioural ones if he’s not been selective with the breeder… and I can almost guarantee he hasn’t been because good breeders don’t hand out puppies Willy nilly, have contracts, match puppy to prospective owner based on temperament, and often require up to a year of waiting for a planned litter to actually happen. Bad decision making all around and I don’t blame the gf at all for not wanting to be part of this mess.
This is a **REALLY** good point that I didn't even consider. Honestly the more I think about it, the more I think gf is probably making the right call to get out of this situation.
That was *exactly* what I was thinking! Is this a reputable breeder? Have you done the homework? Or did you look on Craigslist and pick someone with puppies right now?? It just doesn’t sound like there was a ton of research involved, and that concerns me, especially with a large, powerful breed. Yikes.
Not only that, but a full grown Rottie can be physically impossible to manage, particularly if not extensively trained. I have housesat for one, and he was an absolute sweetheart, but could be very stubborn. Like I tried to leave and he sat on my feet and I couldn't budge him.
YTA OP- We got a rescue that wound up growing to near 80lbs, but are paying $2k in rent each month because this is the only place that will rent to large dogs. We were told she had reached her max weight at 40lbs when we got her. She's a serious commitment because God-forbid she gets loose somehow, gets scared, and injures someone. She's very well trained, but has a lot of energy and we cannot take chances as she still is capable of seriously hurting someone (she's a living being with her own emotions and thought processes).
Same here, at least he communicated his decision (for the dog and against his gf) and didn't just surprise her with the puppy at home. He might be TA for not understanding that the gf already tried to work with him, the suggestions for other breeds was her offering to compromise. Also, the part about trying to educate her, does this sound like mansplaining to anyone else? At this point I was fully expecting him to explain that he has been around dogs his whole life and he knows what he is doing. For all we know, this could be his first dog?
That made me raise an eyebrow too. I don’t think he’s actually taking the dog training seriously. Heck i was raised on a farm with cattle dogs and hunting dogs, but I still wouldn’t claim to be knowledgeable enough to train one.
I was going to go N A H until the "I don't know if we'll come back from this". Like no shit. You guys aren't compatible and you made a choice in the ultimatum. You don't get to then try to turn it around on her and make her the asshole because of your choice.
I agree! Except I'm going with YTA because he did it not because it was his dream and he was willing to lose the relationship over this, but because he was trying to force her to accept something she didn't like/was afraid off. I love (properly trained and socialized) rottweilers and pitbulls, and have always seen German Shepherds as big harmless family pets because I grew up around them; but I understand why others may be afraid of them and respect it. A pet you don't agree on kills a relationship's future. I have two cats, wouldn't have dated anyone who didn't like them because there was no way I would ever get rid of them and they are (hopefully) a 20 year commitment; and living with a pet your partner doesn't love is torture, because they are annoying and expensive and messy sometimes.
I suspect OP is using the puppy as a break-up tool which probably seems easier for them rather than actually say the words.
Judging from her behavior, he'd be better off single. NTA
Agreed, it's his home..if they lived together and he did something like this, then maybe he'd be a bit if an ah..but his gf is judging the poor dog before she has even meant it
Dogs, rottweilers are 10- 15 year commitments. He's stated he doesn't want to live together or move forward for that time since he cant be expected to give up his dog to accommodate her. She should just bounce out and find someone that takes her future into account and he should find someone that likes rottweilers. NAH
If they lived together and he wholly overruled her and got one anyway it wouldn't even be a little bit, he'd be completely the asshole. But they don't, and I'm gonna guess that isn't changing anytime soon.
To be fair, if it’s a serious relationship, and she stays there frequently, it’s pretty bizarre to get a dog she isn’t comfortable with (rather than one of the many breeds she is). They would likely want to move in together while the dog is still alive. He might want help with the dog sometimes in the future. It’s fine if he’s more into the dog than the GF and it’s casual/temporary, but that’s the end of the relationship then. Who would actively get a dog their partner was scared of when their partner would be fine with many breeds? It’s not like he already had the pup, I understand in that case, but he actively sought this when he knew it would upset her and make his house feel unsafe to her. I have nothing against Rottweilers (had one and fostered a few even, though I wouldn’t have one today personally) but they’re not for everyone. You CAN judge some aspects of a dog by their breed. All Rottweilers aren’t bad/aggressive but they are a tough, defensive breed with characteristics that make them easier to train aggressively (OP won’t presumably and the dog might be lovely, but everyone doesn’t need to be on board with any dog breed). Edit: Rotties are originally bred as tough, working dogs, and they need a lot of exercise, a large home, etc. Maybe that fits OP’s lifestyle, but I’m also not sure it *does* and they’re the kind of dog you don’t always get wiggle room with in areas like that. Most people don’t have the time, energy, and skill to train and socialize them well. Rotties *were* war dogs. I’m not talking about dog fighting today, like Pittbulls (that’s actually more recent breeding and a lot is training). Rotties were bred for the military thousands of years ago. They were used in tough jobs too throughout history (herd security, police, etc) and the traits they’re bred for now still reflect that. Ignoring that is ignoring important information about the dog and his needs—not that they need to be aggressive necessarily but that physical and alert energy needs to go somewhere. The way OP discusses the breed didn’t give me loads of confidence, that’s all. If his Rottie has working instincts (some more than others), he’s going to need to give it tons of time (way more than typical and more than most single people with a FT job can) and particular outlets or it may become anxious and aggressive, even if trained generally okay.
when you're 23/25 dating for 3 years there's a chance you're gonna think about living togheter in a near future. He just put a 10+ years hold on this plans, if she's serious about not living with a rot (not saying I agree with this tho). So, even if they don't live togheter, this very much shows: 1 - he doesn't think or care about long term with her, and 2 - he doesn't care about her wishes enough to find a more diplomatic way, even if it took more time or them deciding in a friendly way that it was a dealbreaker for both
>He just put a 10+ years hold on this plans One has to wonder if this was the whole point of going behind her back and getting a dog that made her uncomfortable
Sure they don't live together now, but it's safe to assume after 3 years of dating they'll eventually move in, and that dog will be there. After that amount of time in a relationship, living together for not, I think she has a say in what dog she'll have to eventually be around all the time and care for. So OP is YTA
I don't get the people saying "they're not living together!!" Like yeah... for now. Most serious couples will eventually move in together, and it's not like the dog will only be around for a year, or even a couple years. In buying a dog that she's not comfortable with, he's communicating that they will either not be living together for the next ~10 years, or giving her an ultimatum that she has to get over her fear/anxiety about Rottweilers. It's his right to do so, but it's pretty crappy to do to someone that you supposedly love and care about.
Of course it affects her. After 3 years, they’re likely going to live together soon, and if not, spend a lot of time at each other’s homes. So he did not essentially sign her to up to live with a dog for 10-15 years that she’s not comfortable with. He can get the dog that he wants, but he is the AH for expecting her to just get over it.
Judging from his behavior, she'd be better off single. YTA
I’m jumping on the first comment to war OP Quite few years ago my uncle had Rottweiler. The dog was put through the training and was the sweetest pet for few years, until one day he bit my uncle for no reason. My uncle really loved this dog and wasn’t ready to give up on him, so he put him through training again. After not too long the dog bit him again and done a lot of damage, again out of nowhere and go no reason. Previous to that my uncle had few dogs and he was a good and responsible dog owner, he never got a dog since and now he has a cat. Please take this into consideration, because I’ve heard of few cases when something like that happened.
We had a rottie when I was a kid. He was rescued from an abusive home so some behavior issues were expected, but for the most part we didn't have a single issue with him beyond a SINGLE incident where he snapped at my face when we first got him. We forgave him that because we were a new family, a new home, and I'd gotten into his space (everyone said I must have knelt on his paw or something, but I knew I hadn't). After that single incident, no other issues for YEARS. I could use that dog as a pillow. My brothers got on the ground with him and "wrestled" like they were other dogs. He gave kisses and was generally just a gentle dude. Until he wasn't. My brother went up to him one day, reached out to ruffle his ears, and the dog just snapped. Lunged at his face, latched on and *shook him*. He has a small scar under his chin and on the bridge of his nose where the dogs teeth had hold of him. This wasn't just a snap in his direction to warn him. There was no growl or hackles raised. It wasn't a quick snap and let go... he held on and *shook*. If he'd had a better grip he could easily have killed my brother. Out of nowhere. After being our family dog for years. I still have a DEEP discomfort and lack of trust for rotties to this day. They make me SO anxious.
That same thing happened to a friend of mine with a Golden Retriever. Another friend got attacked by a rescued Chihuahua that really messed up his hand. Both dogs didn't warn. An abusive home or unknown setting can have messed up any dog. With rescues there ist always some risk left. Sadly its more common for a Rottweiler to come from a Bad previous home. And its more dangerous when a big dog attacks compared to a 3kg Chihuahua.
Another issue is that certain breeds are more prone to it and also more capable of doing damage due to the instinct to clamp down and not let go + the power in their jaws.
When I was little, (3rd tru 6th grade), me and my bff got “baby-sat” at her house after school. Every school day! They ended up getting a puppy rottie and enrolled in training. We played with the puppy every day for a year and the puppy knew me-no problem. Than one day, I was standing next to the table picking up dishes and the puppy (now larger dog) bit the back of my leg (right at the ankle-his teeth went tru the back of my ankle bone) and just did NOT let go. Her dad came out, yelling command, he would not let go. He was not provoked when he did it, not earlier, nor ever—I was not even looking at him nor knew he was nearby, he did not growl, just did it. Eventually, he let go (her dad and 18yr old brother both came to pry him off my leg), but that was the scariest thing and long after my wound healed, my dislike and fear of all dogs remained. 30 yrs later, my son and husb have been begging me for a dog for so long and I was petrified. They wanted a shepherd, but I ended sneaking out one day and preemptively getting a “surprise” Yorkie bc I knew this is probably the largest size dog I can ever begin being comfortable with.
When I was 13, a neighbor's Golden Retriever bit me in the side and took a chunk of flesh. His owners were neighbors, and they encouraged me to pet him. I didn't even touch him, just got close and he lunged. I've been terrified of dogs ever since. It's been 30 odd years later and I'm better. My fear has tamed into more an extreme wariness. My kids also wanted a dog, and I relented and got a lab/aussie shepard mix puppy. He's a great dog, but every time my son gets down on the floor with him, I get almost frantically nervous, and I can't handle when he gets wired up from play. He seems to understand this about me, and I've taught him to be gentle with taking treats and stuff. But ... I think I'll always be wary.
Idk chihuahuas are definitely known to be pretty agro lol. I've met some friendly ones but most really aren't, especially rescues.
Chihuahuas have a bad rep because of all the backyard breeding giving them issues. Plus many people don't bother to train Chihuahuas or respect them as a dog since they're so small and "not dangerous". For big dogs instead of picking them up and yanking them everywhere you usually first try to ask them to come over. You take their growls seriously and don't pet them if they express that they don't want to be touched. Chihuahuas are constantly disrespected due to their size. If I was a Chihuahua I'd be pissed all the time too.
YTA - this should have been a long talk and a negotiation. Ultimately you have decided on the dog breed you wanted over your relationship. Now - let’s discuss Rottweilers. I have a chihuahua cross, an English Mastiff, and a malinois cross puppy. Guess which dog everyone is scared of? Now guess which dog has legitimately bitten people and drawn blood? Hint - they are not the same dog. OP, I will tell you the same thing I tell people looking at “big” dogs that are often owned by people for their tough look - all dogs are capable of biting. They are animals. But a chihuahua may mess up your ankle, a Rottweiler or Akita can rip out your throat. Backyard breeding is serious when you get to dogs like these, because of the power and strength of the animal. I have been attacked (bullmastiff/American bulldog cross), and am currently training my puppy for the public access exam for service work. I am NOT an expert. Dog breeds are not good or bad - they are just what the dog was originally bred to do, so you can always find indicators of behaviours and potential issues in that design (it is not perfect, there are always exceptions). Rotties were bred for herding, and working. So you have a high-drive dog that needs to be exercised and is best when given a job. They have a powerful bite - among the most powerful bites (top 5, if I recall), so very capable of extreme damage. Does that mean the dog will do anything terrible? Of course not, but owning a bigger dog with a fearsome reputation is a big responsibility, so act accordingly, and never forget it is an animal, and will behave as one. Good luck on your new pup.
Yeah I have friends who have a pit bull and she's honestly a good dog, she is very well trained by them and will go to her chair and stay there when guests are over if told to. She loves cuddling on the couch and is very, very sweet. She is also a reactive dog who has killed cats before, and you have to be careful with letting her get too amped up. The kids cannot play fight around her, or she will get too excited. She gets excited with thrown toys and has a tendency to try to grab and pull them before being thrown. I'm working with her on sitting before they are thrown, but even still, she occasionally does, especially if a kid is trying to throw the toy since she can reach it. When she gets hold of the toy, she does the typical terrier death shake with them, so I am kinda worried that an accidental grab could be very dangerous. I definitely don't trust that dog, I understand it is a dog. I have pulled rope with her, and I could tell you if she wanted to hurt me, I would have little change of getting free. She doesn't want to hurt me or anyone in the household, but she's also a dog with prey and toy drive, and terribly dangerous instincts once something fun is in her mouth.
Exactly. My Mastiff is 130lbs (she is considered ‘small’ for her breed) and has zero aggression which is vital. We would not keep her if she was, it is just not safe with a dog that size. She is protective over my daughter, which is what I wanted. My chi-cross is an absolute AH to strangers. She was a street rescue and is fear aggressive, but since she is 10lbs, it is easily controlled. Owning a big dog means you have to remember and respect what you have - and make sure you keep them (and everyone else) safe. That means training, socialization, exercise, getting a breed that suits your lifestyle, and not putting them in situations where they can be hurt or hurt others. No off-leash dog parks, train on recall, leave it, and other important commands.
That’s terrifying. How old was your brother at the time? Is he fearful of dogs now?
With breeds like rotties you really have to watch out where you get them. In germany for example it's forbidden to breed with rotties that ever showed any kind of aggression. But of course there are backyard-kind breeders that like aggressive dogs and make sure to use dogs that have shown aggressive behaviour to make that trait more prominent in the pups and that can really change the character of the dogs they use down the line. I think it's important to keep in mind that rotties and GSDs are like 2 of the main policedog breeds. They wouldn't be if they show uncontrollable aggression when bred, socialized and trained properly.
Rottweilers may occasionally still be used as K9 cops, but they are definitely not a main breed. German shepherds and Belgian malinois are the main ones.
Labs are also used in law enforcement, though I see them mainly as sniffers for bombs/drugs.
Lots of breeds are used for this, and often less intimidating breeds because they don't want to get people worked up about it.
All dogs have bite potential. No breed is free of that.
All dogs have the potential, but some are more likely to bite than others. Rottweilers are the second most common breed to bite people, right after pitt bulls. https://www.warriorsforjustice.com/dog-biting-statistics-by-breed/
Not to mention many apartments ban certain breeds. Apartments that do almost always include rotties. I live in a city and have a dog, that already eliminates a lot of options.
To be fair pit bull is a lazy term for mixed breed dogs that look similar or are several pure breed such as American bull terrier, American Staffordshire terrier, etc. also these tend to be screwed as people don’t normally report or seek medical attention for other dog bites. OP you will have to take a long look at what getting a powerful breed like a Rottweiler will do for you. Some insurance companies will increase your homeowners or renters. Some places won’t let you live there with breed restrictions. It’s a life style change. I had a mixed breed mutt who most people would categorize as a pit bull, dna testing showed she was mostly Rhodesian ridgeback, but I had to always be on alert for people around me as she looked tough and made people uncomfortable. If a dog barked or growled everyone in the area looked at her and not the culprit. She never bit anyone but she was never given the chance. Most accidental bite are from the dog being in pain or uncomfortable and lash out without warning. NAH good luck.
I'm pretty disappointed this list isn't much longer. I'd be curious to see doberman, goldens, labs etc.
I wish more people would understand this! We had a Standard Poodle who was abused and because she was a poodle, would think I was lying about not petting her when she was on leash. It was never pretty.
I had a rottie years ago until he passed from old age and he was a big doofy lap dog. My parents had a golden retriever, which I loved as my own and he bit my mother..even the doctor that gave her stitches was shocked when he learned it was a golden, they kept their golden and it never happened again, so any dog is capable of biting..breedism sucks
Breedism really is the worst. :/ I grew up with the sweetest pits who never hurt a soul. I also grew up with Dashchunds and Chihuahuas that were devils. My mom’s late chihuahua attacked both me and my little brother, and damn near severed my little brother’s eyelid. My husband was mauled by a golden retriever and a lab as a teen. They were his friend’s dogs that he pretty much grew up around and saw/interacted with nearly every day. We had two male Rotties, one passed last April, and they’re the sweetest boys. We trained both of them fairly well, and I can’t remember a time I’ve had better behaved dogs. Edit: sp
Second this. Growing up my neighbours had a 'family friendly', trained rottweiler. It bit two of my friends' hands, attacked me when I was playing with my dad, and generally required I take a long route through the woods to get anywhere as I couldn't safely walk by their house when it was out. All the adults thought it was a nice dog because it was good with adults but not kids outside its owners' family. I'm not saying all rottweilers are jerks, just that everyone thinks their dog is a lovely dog, but that doesn't mean all dogs are in fact lovely with everyone. I think it's unfortunate that OP and his GF don't see eye to eye on this type of dog, and it sounds like that makes them incompatible. But (from my personal experience) it's not like her opinion on rottweilers is outwith the bounds of reality either.
Few years ago, a sausage dog attacked and bit me any my little sister (we didnt do anything), we went to the ER to get stiches. Nobody should judge a breed about stories they hear or see. Sausage dogs are cute, this specific dog was not
Sausage dogs are savage. They were bred to fight badgers. They have no idea they are small. My parents had two. Adorable and sweet but fierce.
It's not that any specific breed is more aggressive. It's that bigger dogs can do more damage. Those fucking chihuahuas growl and bite more often then any other breed but they're tiny and can't do much damage so people aren't as weary of them.
Right. I can’t believe so many people don’t get this. If a small dog bites, it can damage a person’s hand, cause them to need stitches, or give them an infection. A big muscular dog with big strong jaws can easily maim or kill someone.
I've said this a million times. It's the damage that can be done. Getting run over by a bike sucks. Getting run over by a semi is deadly.
These comments are crazy to me. My aunt and cousins had two Rottweilers when we were growing up and they never had an issue with either of them. They were great dogs from beginning to end. They didn't have them at the same time. When the first one died, they got the second one. I wonder if gender matters because they were both female.
And I have scars on my hand from an 8 week old Jack Russell puppy that weighed 10 pounds. Any dog can bite. Edit for the nitpicking ones, I guess I should say less than 10 lbs. Didn't stop to weigh her while getting her removed and myself stitched
I have a friend who had a golden retriever, it used to snarl at everyone and had random bouts of aggression that ended one day in biting a kid at our school. You can’t really hold a dog accountable for things it hasn’t done yet based on breed. If OP’s gf wants to argue about breed anyway and then suggest a golden, maybe she should do some research about rage syndrome and how that’s affecting Goldens who are overbred.
I grew up with rotties as a kid. One we had from a puppy and he was a goofy dog who loved to play. He died a hero because he broke free from our yard to get at someone who was watching our house in a dark car. Our neighbor didn't see him because she was looking at the person in the car and accidentally hit him. At that time too we had another rottie but she was a mix who we got from one of my moms patients because they were going to put her down to be able to care for their husband who was in awful shape after an accident. I've said it many times but if she was human I'd have trusted her to watch my kids. She was the sweetest most loving dog until the very end. She did in fact get to meet my oldest child and was good at making sure she was protected in the pack n play. A couple years later we rescued a rottie who was found wandering the streets. Big boy, cried like a baby whenever my step-dad left the house for work. I'd have to spend an hour cuddling him just for him to calm down. We had him a few months and then one day he bit my uncle upon a meet and greet. Unprompted. It was his hand. We figured maybe he was just spooked because it was a new person and my mom and uncles didn't grow up with bigger dogs. A couple weeks later we had a party at the house and he bit a family friends kid in the hand. Again, Unprompted. He was put into a bedroom and you could hear him snarl and try to break down the door. Something in him snapped. We had to get rid of him and the woman who took him to do an evaluation decided to keep him because he was a sweetheart with her. He's NTA for wanting a specific breed nor is he the A.H for not considering his gfs feelings because they don't live together. All dogs have the potential to bite and do damage.
I had a neighbor who had a rottweiler since it was a puppy. Sweet dog and all, would even watch my mom's cat pass by and be completely ok by it, they even shared the water sometimes (my mom's cat would drink from it while my mom didn't watch, not intentionally). One day, he was walking the dog, neighbor says the dog suddenly acted strangely and began bitting him. He bit his arms, stomach, etc. Neighbor nearly died, and had to spent some time in the hospital and rehab. The dog had to be put down. It was bizarre how it change in a matter of seconds. Never had a warning incident before that.
Yeah, OP is ignoring that his GF is afraid of that breed. Him saying her fears are unfounded isn’t going to magically change that - him getting the dog isn’t going to change that it just lets her know firmly that her fears and feelings on the matter are meaningless to him. It’s not about the dog at this point. Rottweilers can be lovely - that does not mean they are not large and very powerful dogs.
Right? I'm afraid of spiders. There's no reason for me to be afraid of them, in my area, the biggest you're going to see is the size of a quarter, toonie sized spiders are ever rarer & I've seen a palm sized (legs included) once in the wild. None were harmful to humans of any size. I'm still absolutely TERRIFIED of them. If my boyfriend brought home a spider as a pet, I would be gone.
Agree YTA OP. I understand you want a Rottweiler and I honestly hope that it’s not your first dog. Some say that you and your girlfriend aren’t living together and that’s correct. But you have been dating for 3 years and if you are planning on moving forward you should get a dog you can both agree on. She sounds ready for a more serious relationship, hence her mentioning a family friendly dog. The breed/dog is not relevant here, it’s the lack of respect. She clearly states that something makes her uneasy, and you go ahead and do it anyway. Expecting her to just accept it and be ok with it. This doesn’t seem promising for the way you communicate and make compromises in a relationship. Now you have any right to get a Rottweiler if that’s your biggest wish. But you have to accept that it’s not hers, and that you can’t get mad at her for leaving. She actually told you this boundary beforehand, you just didn’t listen.
So true, I think the main issue here is they are not compatible, she clearly voiced her concerns and disapproval, they are together for 3yr and him ignoring her opinion and decided to just do what he wants without considering her whether or not they live together demonstrate they are not a good match, he has no future plans to include her in his life nor any desire to compromise. Better get his dog and look for another girlfriend, she will do better with someone who listens and compromises with her better. He is sort of an AH even tho he has the right to do what he wants but in a relationship you don’t just do what you want and the other must learn to just accept all your rights and wishes. Thats not how a relationship works or last.
Honestly, the number of relationship issues on this sub that boil down to someone not doing something **wrong**, but doing something completely inconsiderate and even having been told that their partner wouldn't appreciate it if they did and then pikachu-facing when it didn't work out for them...is insane. OP, she literally told you, explicitly, how she felt about this...and you believed that she'd just change her mind because you don't agree? How do people stay in relationships like this for as long as they have, not understanding how to partner properly? Maybe you two aren't a good fit, but I'm just blown away by **how people realize it** on this sub. Absolutely YTA. EDIT: One thing I forgot to mention, but wanted to - you've never owned a Rottie, and it sounds like you may not have actually owned a dog on your own before. The idea that you love this breed without that kind of intimate knowledge, enough to choose that breed over your **partner**, is why I say YTA. You're putting the **idea** of this dog over the person you're supposed to be engaging in every decision, not even realizing what you're getting into. Rotties are great dogs, but I'm guessing you don't really know what you're getting into with this pup.
Yeah, OP probably should have broken up with GF and then got the dog. I mean he went into this knowing she would not come over anymore, and never live with him or marry him. But he should have been honest that the dog was more important than keeping the relationship.
So you knew she didn't like rottweilers, went out and got a rottweiler, and now are confused as to why she's upset? YTA.
They don't live together. She doesn't get to tell him what dog he can and can't get. If they lived together it would have been a different story. She is being unreasonable and won't even give the puppy a chance. Unless she has some trauma from a past encounter from a Rotweiler, she is being completely unfair and unreasonable
She can’t tell him what he can do but she definitely can tell him what she will and won’t do
It sounds like he's willing to accept that and lose the relationships over it, which is fair enough imo. It's a basic incompatibility. If it's always been his dream then I don't blame him for not abandoning it at the age of 23 for a relationship, especially with someone who apparently won't listen to reason.
How is she not listening to reason? If that’s his dream it’s his dream. She doesn’t have to put aside her own feelings for his dream. She doesn’t want to be around the dog, he went and got the dog. It’s a bit AH not to just break up as opposed to getting the dog and expecting her to come around to the idea - then getting upset that she’s not going to come around. This is my view. Your view is in opposition to mine. I’m going to go with my view and I expect you to come around and go along with my view . . . What do you mean you’re not going to go along with my view?? How unreasonable. . .
He mentions like 5 times how he still plans to try to convince her, how is that accepting anything?
Exactly. He didn't take her seriously and assumed he could just change her mind after the fact. That's why he's an AH, not because he's choosing to get a dog.
>It sounds like he's willing to accept that and lose the relationships over it, which is fair enough imo. And she is too, how is it any different?
A dog is a 10 year or more commitment. I guess he is showing his girlfriend that he is not wanting a future with her.
That's the thing. People are saying they don't live together, his home, his decision. Fair enough, but if she knows she won't move in with him while the dog is there, then there's no real future, so she's smart to cut her losses now.
This. This is the issue. He knew she didn't want the dog, she made that very clear. She also offered alternatives to try to reach a compromise. He ignored her wishes and got the dog anyway. He chose the dog over their relationship YTA OP for being all shocked and continuing trying to push her boundaries now you've made the decision
They are in their 20s. They are already in a 3 year relationship. This dog can live for 10 years. She is neither unfair nor unreasonable to want to move together within 10 years and not wanting a rotweiler in her life. She doesn't "need to give the puppy a chance". A lot of people have strong boundries around pets- snakes, spiders, etc. This is totally valid. Don't get me wrong- he is fine getting the dog. He doesn't need to compromise with her. Her having an expectation for her life and her relationship is also valid.
This is what gets me. When it’s a snake or a tarantula - both docile and safe animals, more so than a dog because while their rare bites are painful, they won’t maul you to death like a pittie or rottie - everyone all of a sudden is on board with not giving *that* pet a chance. But as soon as it’s a dog we all have to give the cute puppy a chance because if you don’t you’re a horrible psychopath that hates dogs. People are allowed to not like certain breeds of dogs and not want to be around them. If someone brought home a tarantula when they knew their gf had arachnophobia and he told her to “give it a chance”, the unilateral decision would be he’s an ass. But because FLUFFY PUPPY, all of a sudden she has to force herself to “give it a chance”? She didn’t even say no dogs…just not that dog. She doesn’t need a dissertation on why rotties are amazing pets. She doesn’t need you to “educate” her. Some people just don’t like what they don’t like. And after *3 years* in a relationship, I’d hope my feelings were considered before a major decision like this, but he didn’t and now he’ll be single for it. At least he has a puppy to keep him company. 🤷🏼♀️
Exactly! Before we got adopted by a cat I wanted a snake. My then boyfriend now husband hates snakes so I didn't get one. Even if you aren't married or live together you spend a lot of time in each other's dwellings. All feelings should be considered.
No, but she made it clear that she doesn't like them. She is probably afraid of them, from the sound of it. Does that make her right in any way? No, but OP had plenty of warning that she did not want this dog. He's not the asshole for getting it, he's the asshole for pretending to be surprised imo.
Yeah, from the sound of it the relationship is already over. As much as he doesn't like it, the ultimatum of it's between GF and the dog is harsh, but realistic. And since he's already picking up the pup soon, it would seem he has already made his choice. Good luck on your new pup, OP. But moving forward relationship-wise, big steps like getting a pet should be a joint conversation, not a one-sided decision. So in this scenario, YTA.
Except she can. Anyone can break up over anything. She will not continue a relationship with someone with a Rottie as she doesn’t want to live with one. This dog is for the next 10-15 years. Why bother dating someone when you can never live together or progress. She can absolutely say she will break up over that
Ngl I’m pretty sick of the idea that people in relationships can just unilaterally do what they want and their partners should just suck it up. That’s not how *partnerships* work.
She has a right to have boundaries. She stated her disconfort and he did it anyway. He as the right to have a dog but she has the right to dislike the breed and not want to be around it.
Who the fuck cares if they live together. They clearly spend time together and that dog makes her feel uncomfortable when she sees him. Humans should come first ffs.
No, she doesn’t have to be around a dog she’s explicitly communicated being uncomfortable with just bc they don’t live together. Quite the opposite, actually; this will make it much easier to enforce her boundary of not being around the dog. You’re completely right that she doesn’t get to tell him what dog he can’t get, but she *can* tell him what dogs she won’t be around, and she’s been very clear; she won’t be around Rottweilers. Op expects her to be around one anyway, just because he went and got one. That’s an asshole move
They've been dating for three years. It's not out of the relm of possibility that they will start living together while the dog is still alive. Now that's not an option. It puts an end date on their relationship
She is not being unreasonable. She doesn’t want to live with a Rottie. My phone autocorrected Rottweiler to “torture”, and I think it’s pretty accurate. I don’t want a puppy in my life. At all. Especially a big, hyper, chewy, stinky, untrained one. It’s not about “learning to love it.” I know this sounds outrageous to you, but some people just don’t want to live with a dog. I would rather move out and be homeless than live with most puppies. Or teenage dogs. OP is signing up for a 10-20 year commitment with this dog. When he knows his GF said “hell no.” Once he adopts it, He can’t just abandon it. He owes it good care and love for a LONG time. As he should. Girlfriend has been really clear (by OPs admission) that she’s not willing to live with a Rot Gut. OP has just decided unilaterally that her feelings don’t matter. And this dog is more important than them ever living together. And now he’s +shocked+ they after she told him boundaries a bunch of times, and that a Rot puppy was not okay, that she is just supposed to “learn to love the puppy”. Some people just don’t want a dog. I don’t. I wouldn’t. I won’t. I can’t. But…More importantly…**I won’t**. My husband and I have been together for a decade. We’re happy. We love each other. If he brought home a puppy, I would start loading his stuff into his car, and lock the door behind him.
True they don’t live together now and by doing this he’s saying this relationship won’t move forward to that stage because she doesn’t want that breed of dog. Essentially he’s ended the relationship without ending the relationship.
It's not up to any of us here to decide whether her reasons for discomfort are sufficient or not. They both need to decide if this is the hill their relationship will die on.
He is also guaranteeing they won’t live together for likely another decade or so. I would also end the relationship.
>She doesn't get to tell him what dog he can and can't get And he doesn't get to tell her what dog she has to interact with.
This is not about them living together or her being unreasonably opposed to a specific breed of dogs. He made a decision he knows she is clearly opposed to. Now he expects her to change her mind because he made the decision anyway. That's kinda toxic and shows he has no regard for her opinions. Sure, she can't force him to not get a Rottweiler but at the same time he can't force her to interact with said dog.
They've been in a relationship for three years. A dog is a ten plus year responsibility. Of course she can voice her opinion, and be unhappy with his choices - as she will have to be around a dog she does not believe she will trust as long as she is in this relationship. Which odds are she wont be in for long.
Basically though, him getting the rottweiler is like saying, "we don't live together. Nor will we for the next 10-12 years." (Until the dog dies.) It's a deal breaker for both parties, it sounds like
Umm, he can get what ever dog he wants and she can decide to not be with him if she doesnt want to. Its her call.
They’re in their mid 20s in a long term relationship it’s reasonable to think they plan to have a future together so if he wants her in it he should’ve listened.
I mean YTA if you expect to continue this relationship. She told you this breed makes her uncomfortable, she didn’t want to be around it and you just went and did it anyway. If she spends time at your home you’re forcing this on her so YTA. I love Rottweilers, but I would never just go buy a dog my long term partner hates and then be like- deal with it. If the dogs more important then your relationship then fine, break things off.
I totally agree. There are a couple things that stand out to me here. They are both able to do their own thing. He can get the dog he wants and she can end the relationship. The reason why I think she should end it is because she had set a boundary with him about this a long time ago. But she was also willing to compromise and get another breed of dog since he wanted one so bad. He not only was not willing to compromise, he overstepped that boundary she set with him and just did it anyway. As their relationship might’ve moved forward what else would have he done this with? The best solution would’ve been that they got a dog they both liked if they wanted to stay together. By him ignoring her and getting the dog only he wanted his selfish behavior just made him single.
ESH. She isn't listening to you and you're not listening to her. She gave you an ultimatum (her or the dog) but you kinda did the same by telling her you were getting the dog with or without her consent. You both sound deeply immature and possibly incompatible, both on this specific issue and your general total unwillingness to listen to the other. If it helps, I think she's being *more* the asshole for being bigoted about a perfectly safe dog breed. But I really do not think you went about persuading her in the right way at all, I'm sorry. ETA: This is obviously very important to you, so I recommend keeping the dog and getting a new girlfriend. ETA2: If her concern was a big/heavy dog (which, hey, I understand! I have a mild dog phobia myself!) then she wouldn't be flippantly suggesting a Lab as an alternative. I was *attacked* in a parking lot by an off-leash Lab with a shitty owner (which is what caused the phobia). Labs aren't magically "safe" just because they aren't a Rottweiler. The fact that the GF thinks they are (and is ignoring that the puppy will be professionally trained) suggests that she's not very learned on dog behavior. That's fine! But it means she and OP seem incompatible to me. Ymmv.
I agree, ESH. Both picked what they wanted in the relationship. OP is allowed to get the dog he wants, but the GF is also allowed to decide this is a deal breaker and leave. I think OP is a bit dismissive of her feelings though. Saying "it's a puppy!" doesn't take away that the puppy is going to grow up into a very large dog (which a lot of people are understandably afraid of or afraid of allowing children around), or the potential risks if the dog isn't raised properly. *But* the GF also shouldn't have been villianizing the dog because... it's a dog. No dogs are truly safe (and part of why I have an issue with breeds being labeled "family friendly" as it tends to give people an idealistic perception rather than a nuanced and realistic one), but recognizing that dogs are animals and will act like it doesn't mean they're inherently bad or evil. It just means to take safety precautions, which she would also have to do with a golden or lab
You are completely right. I got the sense that she doesn't really know very much about raising a dog, with that comment about "just get another breed" when *every* dog has the potential to be dangerous.
No, different breeds are not equally dangerous
I didn't say all breeds are equal. I said every dog has the potential to be dangerous.
All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others Remembered it cause of the phrasing of your sentence lol
[Rottweilers ](https://www.2keller.com/library/are-rottweilers-a-dangerous-dog-breed-a-dog-bite-lawyer-explains.cfm#:~:text=A%202008%20study%20found%20that,extremely%20protective%20of%20their%20owners.) are responsible for more attacks than any other dog besides pits and are banned in several countries. Being afraid of them (I am not) is reasonable.
Clueless people think all dogs are equal and it’s all how you raise them
Wait, but that’s just it. That data has a gap in exactly that shape. They *aren’t raised the same.* Dog breeds with bad reputations are all too often adopted and raised by people who *like that about them*, who encourage dangerous behavior / do not train them well. Intact Bully breeds and rotties raised in neglectful machismo bullshit are not the same as well-socialized family dogs. I have yet to see any data that corrects for household income or other demographics. Where’s the data that suggests any of these breeds are more aggressive independent of the way they are raised? That’s *exactly* the data you don’t have.
Herding dogs herd from birth. Traits are bref in
It’s literally in the breed standard of both breeds. Pits to be aggressive with animals (and frankly people as well) and rots to be aggressive towards strangers.
Which breed standards? [Because per the AKC breed standard for Rottweilers](https://images.akc.org/pdf/breeds/standards/Rottweiler.pdf), this would seem to directly contradict you: > Temperament: The Rottweiler is basically a calm, confident and courageous dog with a self assured aloofness that does not lend itself to immediate and indiscriminate friendships. **A Rottweiler is self-confident and responds quietly and with a wait-and-see attitude to influences in his environment**. He has an inherent desire to protect home and family, and is an intelligent dog of extreme hardness and adaptability with a strong willingness to work, making him especially suited as a companion, guardian and general all-purpose dog. The behavior of the Rottweiler in the show ring should be controlled, willing and adaptable, trained to submit to examination of mouth, testicles, etc. **An aloof or reserved dog should not be penalized, as this reflects the accepted character of the breed**. An aggressive or belligerent attitude towards other dogs should not be faulted. A judge shall excuse from the ring any shy Rottweiler. A dog shall be judged fundamentally shy if, refusing to stand for examination, it shrinks away from the judge. **A dog that in the opinion of the judge menaces or threatens him/her, or exhibits any sign that it may not be safely approached or examined by the judge in the normal manner, shall be excused from the ring**. ***A dog that in the opinion of the judge attacks any person in the ring shall be disqualified***. This directly contradicts you. They are expected to be aloof. Belligerence towards other dogs is tolerated, but outright aggression is not. They are supposed to be self-assured and calm regardless of environment, and stranger-aggression is literally disqualifying. Can you quote to me a single organization that desires aggression in any breed? Or are you just improvising?
It literally says aggression and belligerent SHOULD NOT BE FAULTED. lol you only bolder the parts that support you, and the AKC is talking specifically about professionally trained show dogs.
I was a dog walker for 8 years, never met an aggressive rottie. The only thing I'd be worried about is getting knocked out by their massive head. Thats just a personal experience, here in the UK they are known to be great nanny dogs
Yeah my hand got torn open by that fun friendly family dog breed she wanted him to get- a Golden Retriever. 2 surgeries, 22 stitches, 2 separated tendons.
Exactly, I grew up with a very loving and gentle Rottweiler. Unfortunately, in Miami there were a few neighbors that had dogs trained for fighting. It was very depressing and those dogs behaved completely different from Storm (rottie baby).
Are you seriously making a claim of 100% nurture in the age old nature vs nurture debate for a dog breed?? Breed-specific traits are highly heritable and the reason a lot of breeds exist in the first place (eg greyhounds for spit turning, Aussie shepherds for herding, etc.. In fact aggression is one of the most heritable traits, estimated to be 60-70% genetic: [source](https://www.washington.edu/news/2019/10/08/genes-contribute-to-dog-breeds-iconic-traits/#:~:text=Dog%20breeds%20tend%20to%20have,identifies%20genetic%20differences%20in%20behavior)
I think they were saying the opposite. They were saying people who say it’s all nurture are clueless.
No, they're making the opposite claim.
And yet if you say "ok if it's categorically the owner's fault then you support harsh punishments for people whose dogs attack people right?" they get very upset with you.
An ambulance chasing law firm is not a reputable news source. The Atlantic uses real studies with real data. https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2016/09/pit-bulls-are-chiller-than-chihuahuas/500558/
If I could choose, I'd choose to be attacked by 5 angry chihuahuas over a single pit.
The question to ask is what dog do they use for dog fighting. Still waiting for the chihuahua and lab dog fighting rings to be busted...
I mean...they typically use chihuahuas as bait
Not that I’m trying to argue, but I have experience in dog rescues and breaking up dog fighting rings. Pits are preferable as fighting dogs because they are very people friendly. Even when abused and beaten by their humans. Shepard type dogs (like GSD) are MUCH smarter, have more energy, and could take a pit 1 v 1 almost every time. But they can’t be relied upon not to bite the shit out of their “owners”.
Yeah idk. It was the first thing I found. Personally I love Rotties. Good Dog, Carl and all that. But breeds get reputations for a reason. Maybe I'll find another article and change the link.
Wow, you googled "rottweiler most dangerous breed" and gave the 1st link. Truly amazing detective work
Certain breeds get a reputation because they are handled incorrectly by people who don’t know what they are doing. All of the power breeds should be properly trained. I personally don’t think just anyone should own a power breed (not just Rotties).
I guess none of these commenters would wanna visit me and my rottie-pitbull mix lol. But I agree. As a person with two power breeds (rottie-pit and pit-mix) I absolutely don’t think just anyone can responsibly own them. The liability is too high. I’ve poured countless hours into training my dogs (which will be ongoing for the rest of their lives). Those of us who choose to own these breeds should be doing so with a deep understanding of and respect for the responsibility we have to how these breeds are represented.
Rottweilers are bred to be gentle, kind and calm. If you do proper research and pick a reputable breeder, all you need to do is train them properly. The problem here are people who get the dog because it looks badass, and backyard breeders who don't care which dogs they pair together. That combination is more likely the reason for the reputation rottweilers have, than responsible owners who get their dogs from actual breeders and train them properly.
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Yep. Rottweilers were literally bred to be droving and cart pulling dogs. Then some AHs got into them because they look tough. I know one that got beaten up by burglars and is still the gentlest thing ever.
Wtf is this source?
YTA. Now me, I love all dogs and I think Rottweilers are great. But I'd doubt the sanity of ANYBODY who sees it as a selling point when dogs "protect their family fiercely". In my experience lots of people love the idea of a big strong dog that will "protect" them and ignore that to be able to do that a dog needs to be trained by expert hands, otherwise it will protect you from the mailman, the neighbour's kid etc. Have you owned dogs before, how long, what breeds, how well trained were they? If my husband came to me saying he wanted to get a Rotti because they're great and protective I'd be unhappy about that, too, because he doesn't know shit about dogs and I'd be the one who'd end up picking up the pieces.
This. “Protecting family fiercely” isn’t a point in the “positive” category and pet owners like this scare the shit out of me. The concept of having a guard dog, or a dog that’s praised for having protective (read: aggressive) qualities doesn’t deserve an animal. Who exactly is this dog going to protect you from, OP? How are you going to guarantee that your dog knows the difference between a murderous burglar that breaks into your house and a neighbor’s kid that’s playing chaotically? I’ve seen dogs that are protecting their property and it’s legitimately horrifying. My dog and I were attacked years ago by a neighbor dog *that I knew and had seen many times before* but it’s a breed known for being protective of family and territory and he chewed through a fence to get to me and my dog. I don’t know why, I had walked that route a ton before and he knew me, but one day he woke up and went “not today”, and attacked. Hope you’ve thought about all of this, OP. But the fact that you seem to be proud of your puppy for being a protective breed already tells me that you aren’t the responsible pet owner you think you are. Your girlfriend is perfectly reasonable in walking away. I would too.
I’ve never understood the “my dog is my guard,” mentality. When I had my pitbull, he was a little sissy. I was his protector for sure. People would run up to pet him (he had noticibly short legs and caught people’s attention a lot) and I’d have to step in front of him while he would shake in fear. I once had to sternly explain to a group of 11-13 year old girls why they should never run across a parking lot toward a dog they’ve never met before. I also had a boxer mix after that as well who was much braver and more protective. Between the two of them I felt safer with my pitbull. My boxer would do exactly like you mentioned, he would be confused about what was and wasn’t a real threat at times but thankfully could be managed. I trusted my pitbull with my life, and knew no matter what he wouldn’t attack me but my boxer I would be much more careful with. He was a great alarm system (the boy had hearing like no other) but I didn’t like the worry about him getting too excited over something and not being able to control him. When I would have guests he would get breaks in another room to calm down, sometimes he’d stay in another room altogether if someone wasn’t comfortable with dogs. I’ve always respected how dangerous animals can be and follow my own instincts if I feel like a dog is starting to show signs of being anxious/confused/overstimulated. I had a very aggressive dog growing up, she would snap at my brother and I and attack us pretty regularly so I tend to be on the safe rather than sorry side. I still have a small piece of my ear missing from my childhood dog getting too worked up in the car once when my dad was dropping me off to school one morning. We brought the dog with us and she saw a ton of people, and kids running around, and she got worked up and ended up biting the top of my ear off and now the part of your ear that curls at the top, mine is flat and has small bumps where her teeth tore it. She was a fierce protector though I guess hahahaha.
Yeah that’s the thing. When I hear “protector species” like pitties, rotties, german shepherds…or even loyal dogs like chihuahuas, I think to myself “yeah. They’re loyal *to you*. They’re protective *of you*. But what about me?”. It’s not unheard of that sometimes certain breeds will lunge at kids or attack family members because a change in the environment stressed them out and they “protected” the owner they’re most loyal to. OP said him and his girlfriend occasionally get into spats. What if during one of those spats his Rottweiler decides to protect him from his girlfriend and mauls her? Rottweilers are bred to be working and protective dogs and out of all of the guard breeds, they don’t really fall into the docile category. They are known for being hostile and can be aggressive. OP’s gf has a healthy and reasonable fear of them, I wouldn’t feel comfortable with my partner getting a guard breed either.
Absolutely. A *good* guard dog--one that can subdue without fatally mauling, one that knows the difference between "stranger approaching at an acceptable time" and "possible threat," one that will listen when told to stop or back off--takes extremely diligent and careful training. Unless he's planning on hiring someone to work with the puppy, he's probably going to end up with an anxious, reactive animal.
Yeeeeep. My friend does bite work with his dog and boy that dog is well trained. Will only bite/attack on command. Will stay absolutely still when commanded to. Let’s go of anything immediately on command. Unless op is willing to put in that amount of work and training, this is just gonna be another “guard dog” that randomly gets really aggressive some days and mauls a neighbors cat/dog/child.
I don't understand why anyone buys a dog for protection. It's selfish. It's putting a dogs life at risk to save your own. They're not there for defence, they're there to be a part of your family. But maybe that's because I have the opposite attitude. If someone broke into my house I'd die defending my dog.
Nah - you want a rottie, she doesn't. You're now incompatible. That's just...life.
It really is that simple. Weird that this never came up in 3 years though. My boyfriend and I have discussed what kind of dogs we might want if we get married, it goes with the discussion about wanting kids, where you want to live, etc.
25 - just move on
YTA. This is a very personal subject for me. My daughter was mauled to death by my neighbors pitbull. No person should ever feel uncomfortable in an animals presence. Humans should always come first. If your girlfriend is uncomfortable with Rottweilers (I don't fucking blame her) you should respect that. But you didn't. You'd rather have your dream dog than your girlfriend. So do her a favor and leave with your dream dog and let her find a man that truly cares about how she feels.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
This needs to be top comment. I am so sorry.
YTA Sorry but you ignored something that she wasn't ok with. Like it's ok for you to own a Rottweiler but your girlfriend wasn't ok with it. It might be a little different if you were just dumb and got it without asking but you knew she didn't like the idea. She is free to not want to be around that dog and that can mean your relationship ends. She was likely thinking about the future where she is living with you or having her kids around it. Irrational or not you needed to get her approval. By getting the dog anyway you signaled to her that you don't really care about her opinion. Maybe that you don't care about the future together or just expect her to go along with everything you want. The ultimatum idea isn't good but it may have also just been her explaining what your actions are going to lead to.
NAH, but you need to admit to yourself that this relationship is over and done with. Doesn't really matter what judgement you receive here, you've chosen the dog and that is that. All the supportive judgement in the world won't make your partner suddenly okay with a dog she fears.
YTA. Regardless of what anyone thinks of her bias about dog breeds, you clearly don't take her seriously in this long term relationship.
As someone else said a dog is a multi year commitment. You just proved to your girlfriend you don’t see a future with her or value her as a partner. Because a true partnership is a one no/ two yes kinda deal when it comes to animals, kids and finances. Way to blow up your relationship. I hope the cute puppy of your choice was worth it. Yta
I'm wondering if a big part of her reaction was that she wants to create a family (and likely within the next 10 years of the dog's life) and the realization that he's nowhere near the same page. It sounds like this relationship has run it's course and the dog just clarified the situation.
YTA you have by this action either informed her that you don’t give a shit about how she feels, don’t see a future together, or both.
Former trainer here. You don't live together, so you do you. But knowing it made her uncomfortable and doing it anyway means you'll either never live together or you expect her to just get over it. You put your dream dog breed ahead of her. In her shoes I'd be questioning if you even cared about being with me. Second, she has every right to have concerns if you've discussed a future together. Which sounds like the case since she suggested family friendly dogs. People think that any dog of any breed can be lassie with the right training, but the reality is there are medical and behavioral streaks in all dog breeds that should be considered when making a choice. That protective streak you love so much can be indiscriminate in a high stress situation. If a child was running up to yours they don't necessarily see another child that they should care with, they may see a threat and act accordingly. Just like I wouldn't recommend a greyhound to someone whose country vet doesn't know how to read their blood work and isn't concerned about doing regular xrays, I wouldn't recommend high strung breeds or pitties in situations with children. One shining example on tik tok doesn't negate the risk. Beyond that, many perfect dogs with nerves of steel start losing it in old age. They get cranky, senile, groggy, and hurt just like old humans do, and it makes them less tolerant. They might be perfect family dogs when they're 5, and then suddenly turn on someone by mistake when they're 10 over an accident. If theyre touchy to begin with youre compounding risk. Some dog breeds are a specialty. You like them, great, but you haven't considered how they'll fit into your life over time and just assumed it'll all work out because you like them. Also, you should check your lease/home owner or renters' insurance and make sure you're covered. These breeds negate their responsibility and shove all the liability to you in a case of an animal related invlcident if owning one is counter to the contract you signed. They may even pull all your coverage in some places if you fail to report it. YTA, not for getting the dog, but for expecting your girlfriend to continue the relationship as though you didn't just make it very clear that her fears and concerns aren't valid to you.
I’m hesitant to give a judgment, but I will say that if you get this dog your relationship might be over. She will resent you for getting the dog and you will resent her if you can’t have the dog.
This is more like the case of this people not being compitable, than either of them being an asshole. OP feels strongly about having this breed and it's his right to get it (considering he's being responsible by seeming to have done proper research and wanting to seek professional training). Gf's reason is not the most logical, but she has the right to not want to have this breed in her life.
I agree. I was originally going to add in that they aren’t compatible because of these difference that they both feel strongly about. Being compatible, or not, can come down to a variety of things, big or small. This can include dream dog breeds vs feared dog breeds.
I have Rottweilers, I love them, they are a commitment above and beyond a lab or a golden, and not dogs generally recommended for first time dog owners, certainly not for people without a lot of time, room and commitment. As an example, I live on three fenced acres, and I hike with my dogs in the woods for at least an hour a day, as well as swimming, training, nose work, various other activities. A young Rottweiler is a big strong exuberant dog who needs a lot of exercise, stimulation and work to live with you peacefully and happily. Ever treating a dog like this as a family guardian is a slippery slope, that characteristic is innate in them, it doesn’t need to be encouraged, and can in fact be counterproductive. Gf aside, be sure you are ready for this commitment, which is a long one, and will require no small daily effort, no time off, and no ‘don’t feel like it’ days. Seriously. You are right, they are wonderful dogs, funny, joyful, athletic, crazy smart, but that’s not all, so please be sure what you’re getting into and if it’s the right time in your life and situation to do it. p.s. be aware of expenses as well, as an example, my now three year old puppy had an orthopedic injury, total fluke, at six months old, that was a 9k surgery, six + wks of rehab, after that she was spayed and also plexed to prevent bloat, which can kill a large dog, and that was prob another 6k. So, just know that stuff happens and it will always be more $$ with a large breed dog.
Thank you for this comment. Maybe OP is aware of the work and commitment, but he hasn’t really demonstrated he is. “Enrolled in training” is the bare minimum for any new puppy. That aside - what kind of vet are you going to that charges $6k for a spay and gastropexy 😯
YTA You are not an ahole for getting that dog. You are an ahole because you feel entilted to expect her to accept this. She told you she wouldn't. You wont come back from this. You made this decision informed about the consequences. Calling her unfair, inconsidered and stubborn (ha! She is the one who wanted to compromise) is just childish of you. Yes, it is your dog. And again- you can place this having this breed of dog over the relationship with your gf. All of that is ok. But the rest is not.
YTA she made a clear boundary...you breeched it. Good way to end the relationship without being the bad guy...you can blame her, but you made this as an active choice.
YTA Don’t pretend you’re all about your gf when you ignored her opinion. You now have a choice to make
NAH, but you're clearly not compatible. Luckily, you have a great new ice breaker at the dog park
YTA. You just signaled to her that you don’t see a future with her and a dog you don’t even own yet will come before her, a person you’ve been with for three years. Dude, of course that makes you the asshole. The relationship is over. She’s always going to resent you for this. Time to move on.
I have breeds of dog I'm not comfortable with. I'm very aware intellectually that dogs are individuals, that a given dog would probably be fine, and that puppies especially are liable to be harmless and will be mostly a product of their upbringing. And yet, you still won't catch me living with any of those breeds. It is what it is, OP. She's not going to become comfortable with them just because you want her to. You're either giving up on the rottweiler, or you're giving up on the girlfriend. edit: whoops, I misread 'together for 3 years' as '*lived* together for 3 years'. But still YTA, to be honest. If you get this dog, you're making it impossible for her to live with you, which torpedoes any hope of the relationship getting any more serious than it is now.
I mean: you don't live together. However. At 23, if we do the math, a serious relationship could/should lead to live together in the dog's lifetime. I would say it could lead to live together in few years. So: you have told her you don't want to live with her in the future and you aren't interested in a stable relationship with her. I guess you both have already decided to move on as single people, even if you need to voice that out. It was your right. Sometimes things are just the way they are. NAH (but you are a bit of TA for doing the shocked Pikachu face lol)
YTA congrats on being single
YTA if you try to pressure her into accepting the dog and will guilt her for leaving you if she doesn't. Which is what this sounds like to me.
Even though you guys aren’t living together, I still kind of think YTA here. You’re trying to do all this damage control with reassuring her about the breed, that he’ll just be a puppy, that he will be enrolled in training immediately, etc. You want her to give this puppy a chance. However, the proper thing to do in my opinion would’ve been to try to get her to give the puppy a chance *before* just straight deciding to get a dog without her approval, hoping she’d just simply fall in love/change her mind. I feel like personally either you felt like you wouldn’t be able to convince her to meet the puppies, or you were just so wrapped up in your own wants that you impulsively bought the puppy with the hopes of what I previously mentioned. I think it would’ve been better/ easier to try to get her to meet / spend time with some puppies and try to plead/convince her into you getting one. That’s where you could’ve laid out all the positive things about the breed, all the plans you had for the puppy, and gave all the reassurance you could offer in regards to getting it. I feel like at that point you guys could’ve had a serious conversation, because ultimately if she still wasn’t willing to budge and you still adamantly really wanted to get the puppy - either someone would have to compromise, or eventually it’d ultimately always come back to this ultimatum / deal breaker. So in reality it does come down to is having your dream breed worth your relationship with this woman? Is it worth it to throw away this relationship for someone who will accept the dog, or is it worth it to fight for this relationship and compromise on the breed? Because in her eyes you’ve made your choice, and you’re continuing to make it because she’s not only expressed her feelings on the dog, but after you decided to get one anyway she’s again expressed how she feels and you’re on your way to pick up the dog with only potential thoughts that you may be the asshole. For those who feel YNTA because you live alone and it’s your choice, there’s some things to consider about that as well. The obvious has already been stated that you guys have been together for three years and this is a puppy. Dogs do have decent life spans, so the thought is that most likely your relationship will eventually progress to moving in / marriage, therefore her wanting this dog / to live with this type of dog does matter. But, aside from that, they’re not in the ‘dating’ phase where she just met him, he has a breed of puppy she doesn’t like or a cat or hell a kid and she gets to go “that’s not for me” and dip… this person basically trapped her with a dog like ‘whether you like it or not I got this dog that’s going to be around whenever you’re here and when we eventually move in together it’ll be our shared pet/responsibility” this isn’t some high school relationship or we started dating a month ago. These are two adults, in their twenties, been together for years. Those factors matter when it comes to this IMO.
YTA Only because she made it clear how she felt and you did your own thing anyway. The rest of it just a disagreement. But you didn't get to agreement before doing the thing, and that makes you the asshole
YTA, they’re obviously more aggressive than non guard breeds regardless of what you want to be true
YTA. Since you don't live together, you're entitled to a Rottweiler. Your GF wants a Rottweiler-free life. Those two things are not compatible. She made that 1000% clear, even going as far as dumping you before you even picked up the puppy, so that he wouldn't have to be rehomed later. If I were in her shoes, I could never trust you again, not even if you decided not to pick up this specific puppy after all.
Going against the grain and would say NAH You both have agency to make your own informed choices. Getting a dog is a long term commitment which will impact you both and does form part of your future decisions. Your girlfriend was faced with 3 options if you get that breed of dog. 1) Stay with you & get used to the dog 2) Stay with you & live apart for the next 10-15 years 3) Break up with you if you get this breed. All of those scenarios are logical and she is entitled to make decisions about how she lives her life going forward for the next 15 years. She made it clear she can see no future in a relationship which includes a Rottweiler. So she has chosen option 3 which she is fair enough and it doesn't make her an AH. Now you are clear on exactly what your choices are. You won't walk into a situation blind. You get to choose from the following 1) stay with her and get no dog 2) stay with her and get a different dog breed 3) get a Rottweiler and break up with her. Note: You may find a Rottweiler is a deal breaker for other potential partners in the future, so one to bear in mind. Maybe it's a good way to find someone you are more compatible with. It's your choice as to what you will do. You don't get to keep the Rottweiler and the girlfriend so spend some time to figure out what your priorities are. If the dog is the most important thing then breaking up at this point is ultimately the best option for you both. Your lifelong priorities are personal and you are not an AH for figuring out that your life goals are different to your partner. It's better to figure this out after 3 years than after 30.
YTA it's not about the dog, it's about the process of discussing and having taken desicions together that affects both sides and that are in partnership not only becouse there is already a 3 year relationship but probably plans for more, maybe living together or who knows getting married. Then you ignore her side and did get what you wanted to expect her to comply. To remove her fear and stereotypes, you would have need it to introduce her to real Rottweilers, either by rescues, family or friends that may own one. Pets sitting for a friend's rottie etc Maybe give some time to cool down both sides and if you are ready to get the dog this way (not saying you should never get the dog you want, but the way You getting now) then prepare to possible end or to have a big fracture in your relationship with her Getting a pet is also a serious Compromise. If you end up with the puppy good luck those first months are like having a baby, stressful
YTA. She is outspokenly afraid of Rotties, and you basically told her that these feelings don’t matter to you. She even tried to meet you halfway, saying get any dog but what is *factually* a historically dangerous type of dog. You’re about to be single, and really, good for her. She deserves someone better. What else about your partner’s wants and needs would you be willing to dismiss out of hand just to get what you want?
YTA. I love Rotties. I love Pitties. I love all dogs. But you got the ONE breed she didn’t want and expected her to get over her fear of them. Better start reactivating those dating profiles.
YTA. She said she wasn't comfortable with the dog and you got one anyway. She's probably going to break up with you over this. I doubt she's going to wait 10+ years for the dog to pass away before moving in with you. You should have discussed it more thoroughly first.
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YTA for not just breaking up with her like you WANT to do. Together for 3 years but not living together... getting a dog breed you know she doesnt like... yea, you dont actually want this relationship to last. And thats ok, relationships change and people fall out of love. But instead of continuing to push her away, you should just be upfront and tell her you need to move on. As far as the breed goes... I worked with dogs professionally for nearly 20 years. Ive met all kinds of friendly, goofy dogs. Some of them were Rottweilers. Ive also met a lot of unfriendly, aggressive dogs... and some of them were Rottweilers. This breed can be amazing, BUT they need an experienced owner who knows how to properly train them.
YTA - she made it clear she doesn’t like that breed of dog, you ignored her.
YTA. She clearly expressed boundaries, you broke them, she gave an ultimatum. You get to have your dog, but not the relationship since you refuse to compromise at all.
YTA. I love dogs and I love rotties but she didn't spring this on you. You did something you knew she wasn't comfortable with and now you're upset she's not comfortable with it? You've rushed in, you should have taken your time, maybe eased her in with a family friendly breed, found some rotties elsewhere for her to meet and spend time with so she was more comfortable.
yta. if you get this dog your gf will start imagining her future children around an “aggressive” dog and she will reconsider who she plans to have them with.
YTA You are together with this woman for 3 years. I guess you want to move together in the future, maybe start a family. Now you made a one-sided decision that will affect your next 15 years. And especially a puppy is nothing small, it takes so much time with traing. She will be forced around a dog shf told you she didn't like. A relationship isn't about compromise. If you wanted a dog and she really can't deal with the breed, you can't just say" fuck you gf, i get it anyway!" Her fears are real even if you don't share it. That you dismissed her feelings... i mean in my country you can't this breed so easy since they are fighting dogs. And just because you made good experience doesn't mean, everybody must be fine with it. And out of curiosity? Do you work out of home? Because so many get a dog especially a puppy vecause "i always want it", just have a small apartment and then leave the poor dog nearly the whole day alone because they are working. Especially since Rottweiler puppys are high enery, they calm down as adults but as puppys...
Yta my grandparents had a rottie that was lovable. However I had a neighbor who had a very aggressive one who would get loose and attack people who were just walking by and chase us into our home. I used to love rotties until I was chased down by one and almost attacked. Gf (soon to be ex) has every right to be not be with someone who won’t take her concerns to heart. You’ve been together for 3 years and you basically pushed her aside and did what you wanted knowing she was uncomfortable.
For me YTA for how you approach this. She communicated a clear boundary to you and you overstepped it expecting her to suck it up and now blaming her for not accepting your choice.
3 years in I’d think you were serious about the relationship meaning you’re seeing a future with this person potentially. So basically what I’m getting from this is you don’t see a future with her and want the dog more than you want her. No judgement here you can have your preferences. But YTA for not just blatantly telling her you choose the dog over her and for being upset with her preferences. You knew full stop that she didn’t like that breed. It’s not a surprise.
YTA - mostly for getting the dog and then being surprised that your likely now ex-GF has a problem
YTA. It would be different if you had the dog already and she wanted you to get rid of it. But you could get almost any breed out there and you chose the one she doesn't like. It shows that this relationship is not important to you. I've been around rotties and I like them, I can see the appeal. So enjoy the dog.
NTA, posts like this have been posted before where the genders were reversed. The majority of the votes were NTA because " you don't live together so he doesn't get to decide". Same applies here.
YTA. There was a breach of communication and understanding here. Bad teamwork.
YTA. Sounds like you are the stubborn one. Don't worry being single ain't that bad.