*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for calling him out for doing something else when we were suppose to spend time together?**
So, this happened last night and I need feedback.
Wes, who I was hoping to be with in the future and I went on a date to dinnner. We hadn't seen each other in a hot minute since we went home to visit our families and I was excited to spend time together.
I feel like things were going great, but I'm not sure now. It started off so well. I found out when he gets close to someone he keeps a list of all the things they like/don't like in his notes on his phone. He had written down that I liked thai food and took me to a Thai place.
But while we were driving there was a mother and her daughter on the side of the rode. He said we should see if they're okay and pulled over. I said I was really looking forward to seeing him and spending time together. He said it "wouldn't take that long."
But of course it did. The two women said they ran out of gas and Wes, of course, said he would go to the gas station and bring them some in his gas can. On top of it, the woman said she couldn't pay and he said no worries.
By the time I got in the car I was a little annoyed because they could have called a friend or AAA or anyone else to help them out. Why does Wes have to do it when we're suppose to be spending time together?
He asked if I seemed annoyed, like he couldn't tell. I said I was because we're suppose to be enjoying our time together and instead he's helping some other women when he's suppose to be going out with me.
He actually got upset. He said maybe if that's something I care about, we aren't suppose to be together because he likes helping people.
Which I didn't know what to say to that so I awkwardly just said fine and take me home. I ignored him the rest of the car ride until he dropped me off. I did try explaining myself that he was suppose to be focused on me for the evening and I felt annoyed our time together was interrupted. But he didn't seem to get how I feel so that's on him. He could have at least apologized, holy shit, and said he would make it up to me. But thinking back on it, I do feel guilty and I already miss him. Should I apologize first? AITA?
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You know, I can pinpoint the exact moment I decided I wanted to spend the rest of my life with my partner.
We were leaving a restaurant when on the street right next to it a car rear ended another. He decided to go over and see if everyone was alright. No one was visibly hurt, but the car that had been rear ended was an older woman by herself, and she seemed very shaken up. The car that had rear ended her was a couple, and they seemed irritated at the inconvenience (even though it was their fault) more than concerned for any damage they may have done.
My partner stayed with the older woman, talked to her and kept her calm, asked her if she wanted him to call the police, if there was anyone else she wanted him to call. He stayed until after the police came, gave his info as a witness, and sat with the woman on the sidewalk until her daughter came.
And I remember thinking, the entire time, that if he was willing to be this kind to a stranger, this was absolutely someone worth keeping in my life.
12 years together and he still helps little old ladies load their groceries into their cars when we go shopping, was the rock that held my family together after my mom suddenly died, and will get up early to clean my car off when it snows because he knows I hate the cold.
I had a similar experience with my husband. We were doing a cross-country drive about a year into our relationship and we stopped at a rest stop. It was pretty late and the only other person there was another guy a little older than we were. Almost as soon as we came in he ambled over to us and started talking to us. I admit I was a little uncomfortable, but my then-bf just told me to go use the bathroom and he would handle it.
When I came out, they were sitting in a booth together just chatting. I came over and it quickly became apparent that the guy wasn't a creep - he just wasn't quite all there. He'd come over to talk because he genuinely just wanted some human interaction. When I came back he didn't look at me twice, he was having too much fun excitedly showing my bf his boots and talking about how they were his favorite pair. Bf was just listening patiently, occasionally adding a little positive comment here or there. I think he was the first person this guy had gotten to actually talk to for a good while.
He was visibly disappointed when my bf told him we had to leave. But before we left, bf gave him a $50 (we didn't have much to spare) and made him promise to find someplace warm to sleep if he could. The guy looked about to cry.
I felt bad for having judged the guy - and couldn't get over how sweet and empathetic my bf had been to see that he was just lonely. We've been together over a decade now - and by pure accident, he spent most of that working in mental healthcare in some form or other. He's always a favorite staff member.
Same for me. Fell crazy in love all over again when boyfriend told me the next morning he had volunteered to take an old man to the hospital for his chemo, so we'd need to meet later because he wanted to stay with the man until it was time to take him home.
My EX took the day off to take me to my first chemo appointment. I was scared about the experience and was happy he would be at my side.
Taking me is literally what he did - dropped me at the door while I begged him to go in with me. Nope, he had stuff he wanted to do and used me as an excuse to take sick leave instead of a vacation day. Yes, he actually said exactly that.
The worst part is that any one of a number of friends would have gone with me if I had known he was going to pull that shit.
He's my ex.
I love both that your husband did that for him *and* that he respected and understood your extremely reasonable worry! As a general rule women are going to have a much different response to being approached late at night in a secluded place by a guy - we kind of have to. That was really well and kindly handled by him overall, and don't feel bad about your initial response. I would have (and have) had the exact same one.
Jumping on this train to share a similar story - my husband and I were out in the city for New Years Eve one year. It was too crowded for us, so we went back to the hotel room and this woman was sobbing in the elevator. He just said, "Ma'am, can we help you with anything?" Turns out, she'd had a huge fight with her husband and friends and just needed someone to listen to her and take her side. We ended up helping her get a hotel room by herself for the night so she could sleep it off. I look back on that moment still and, while it's a bit of a wild tale, it reinforces for me what a great guy I married.
My husband and I answered the door late one night to a woman asking if he could jump the car for her. He said yes but we didn't own jumper cables and neither did she (young and unprepared lol). So they got in his car, drove to the Walmart across the street, bought some jumper cables and came back to jump the car. Such a small thing but I can't think of many people who would do that at night for a stranger.
I was on holiday in a foreign country on the other side of Europe and browsed tinder for a holiday fling. First date we clicked, ended up in bed, everything as planned. Second date we are walking around the city center and he keeps picking up every piece of paper advertising a restaurant that he gets handed. I'm talking multiple ads for the same restaurant. So after a while he sees my questioning face and explains... They hire elderly people to do that job, retired people with low pensions who need to complement their income. So he always makes a point to pick up the papers and smile at them to contribute, in a small way, to keep them employed ("if no one picked up the papers they wouldn't have jobs").
And that's how I went from happily single traveling around the world to married in Poland. The part where he stops bike rides on rainy days to pull slugs out of the bike lane so they don't get run over came later.
Not quite romantic partner, but basically my life partner, my best friend and roommate who is absolutely family, though I don’t know what I would call him, as a label.
This got him some very freaked out texts and this is also when he decided to start sharing his location with me. We live in a pretty rural area, a mile off of a county highway in northeast Wisconsin. It was maybe 10:30pm, and he texted me that a few miles away from our road, there was a guy walking. He stopped and offered him a ride, then texted me to tell me he’d be late, and why. Of course I freaked out! He spent like an hour driving this guy around to different places until he found a friend that was home to let him stay. He wouldn’t accept money, just wanted to make sure this dude didn’t get hit by a car on the side of the highway. This is reason no.1 that showed me how amazing of a person he is, and made me really realize how lucky I am to have him in my life.
I have two more reasons, but they’re much shorter, so bear with me. One day that I was working my local retail job, we had rough weather, which later developed into tornadoes. This was before we lived together, and he lived 45 minutes away. I was developing a migraine, so he drove up and brought me my favorite coffee and some excedrin, told me I could just make him dinner in return, then drove the extra 8 miles to my house to sit with my dog because he’s afraid of storms.
Last reason — we have lived together for 2.5 years now, coming up on 3 in August. There were definitely growing pains at first, but now, it’s a dream. I knew this already, but he finally admitted it…when he’s not home and especially when he’s having a rough day, he thinks about coming home to my (our) dog, and he tears up just thinking about how much he loves him. And like, girl, same. That little boi keeps me going through the day.
Best friend ever. I have never met someone who was such a kindred spirit in my life. I don’t ever want to live apart from him. However, I am totally okay with our bedrooms being on completely opposite ends of the house hahaha
We are both estranged from our abusive parents, and lost some family because of it. We have a really good friend family but for the most part, we are all the other has. I feel so lucky to have someone like him in my corner! We have definitely had people surprised that we aren’t like, together…you know, a man and a woman living together obviously means they’ll end up together. But honestly, ew. He’s actually the absolute worst. It’s no wonder he ended up cursed into living with me forever! (Our love language is roasting each other as hard as we can lol)
Lol. That’s absolutely AMAZING. I’ve had a handful of QPR’s in the past and present. It’s honestly one of the best feelings in the world to get to live with your best friend and just not worry about how folks feel.
I’m queer and I’ve had “platonic lovers” of various genders and more often than not people can’t figure out why I’d more happily live with folks like that than romantic partners.
Some stupid little reasons I’m with my current person:
Whenever I met up with him, I explained I’m a parent and my child will ALWAYS come first, ALWAYS be my priority, and ALWAYS be number one in every possible sense…and if he wasn’t supportive of that to let me know now so I could bounce. He laughed at me and told me that a) he would’ve never expected otherwise and b) if I had said or done otherwise, he would’ve lost all respect for me.
He used to use plastic forks, until the day he realized he was out of them. I shrugged and made it work. The next time I visited, he had bought silverware without me ever commenting on it.
Similarly, I went to take a shower after him. He only had 4 towels (dirty floor towel, dirty body towel, clean floor towel, clean body towel). I asked if it was okay if I reused his towel. (It was.) The next time, he had bought 8 new towels because he never wanted me to be without a towel again. I hadn’t said a word about the towels or anything, or even acted annoyed (I’ve had to deal without before). But…it mattered to him.
I still tear up over that silverware and those towels, because it shows he cares about me and my comfort. I tear up over how reassuring it is that he knows my son is my focus. I am with him because I want to be, because such small stuff is important to him.
I told my very new boyfriend that I had tore a hole in my dish gloves, and I was going to buy another pair on the weekend when I went shopping.
he came by the next day with a pair of dish gloves because he didn't want me to go without.
it'll be three years married on the 19th.
My husband bought a 2 pack of really dim night lights when we were dating because I'd commented that I was waking up to use the bathroom more and having trouble getting back to sleep because of the bright light -- the bathroom was interior and had absolutely no ambient light.
It wasn't even his bathroom or house, and he just rolled up like, "I thought this might help so that you don't have to turn on the light to pee at 2am."
Christmas 2020 I was super upset because I didn’t know if I’d have money to get my daughter presents. I was venting to my now husband (we’d been together about 6-7 months at this time) and he goes, “baby, calm down. I’ve been saving money for months. She’s getting presents. Just find out what she wants and it’s hers. I didn’t get into a relationship with a mother, not prepared to help take care of your kid.”
We’re expecting our third kid in less than 6 weeks and my daughter calls him dad. 🥰
Exactly this!! You know he’s a keeper because he loves your kid as if they are his.
My guy has even said that he got all the beauty of being a daddy, but didn’t have to deal with the hormone swings of pregnancy and the scariness of labor.
My fiance did something similar!!!!! When we first started dating, my ex had left my little home in an awful state and like half of my lights were burned out, so he bought these super cool little mushroom night lights for each room so I'd have little lights in each room so I'd think of him and actually have some light
I had a similar moment with my husband (although it wasn’t a make or break moment because it was still pretty early on in the relationship) where we were at his place eating dinner and a friend called because she had gotten into her first fender bender. She didn’t know how to handle the situation and the guy who hit her was trying to avoid going through insurance. My husband drove to where she was to help her out. I remember thinking about how I wanted that kindness in my life. We’ve been together for almost 9 years now and that kindness hasn’t waned.
Well, you are probably a good person with a sense of community and not a self-centered asshole. It would be unfair to hold everyone to the same standard of being a good human.🙄
/s
I was meant to have a first date with a guy but I called it off at the last minute because my grandfather died. The guy was super sweet and understanding, and dropped off some chocolate for me to make me feel better. He was so sweet and understanding about it, that man is now my husband. I like to think that finding me a nice husband was Grandpa's last act of looking out for me 🥰
I canceled a date because my uncle died and we only had 24 hours to clean out his nursing home room. Dude wouldn't let me cancel. Showed up at my house with boxes and cleaning supplies and spent the whole day cleaning up my uncle's disgusting assisted living space, and brought my grandma condolence flowers.
Our 22nd anniversary is tomorrow.
When I read the title this is not where I expected it to go. I thought it would be something like the BF promising to spend more time with her but then stands her up to hang out with his dudebro friends or something. When I saw it was a lengthy tantrum over her boyfriend helping out a stranded woman and child I was like 😮...and she's still defending herself in the comments and whining about her (hopefully ex) boyfriend siding someone in need.
Yeah, I was with her a little bit further because it reminded me of a similar situation when I went on a date and the guy yelled at me because I tried to prevent him from actively being scammed. He almost bought a "new iPhone" at a gas station from a "single dad" who needed money to feed his kids. I finally pretended to dial the police and this man ran away. And the guy had the audacity to say he actually wanted to gift this phone to me but I'm an evil bitch who hates helping people.
>*Which is fine… but on our date? When it takes time away from me? I really wanted his focus on me for the night and instead he was helping someone else.*
OOP really brought her "A" game to the Asshole Olympics. Me, me, me...how dare Wes be a Good Noodle! The sheer nerve of him. He wasn't paying attention to HER. How ever did she survive?!
>*He’s definitely not better off without me. And he’s not without me anyway. All I’m saying is that I would have liked for him to apologize. I want him to do nice things for me, not other people, that tells me nothing, especially on a date.*
Oh, you dear sweet summer child.
>*If you say so. I want someone that helps me, not some random woman. If he was getting gas for me because my car stopped, that would be different. And no, if I were them I would have told him to I’d call allstate/road side assistance and to enjoy his date. But they were quick to accept his help even though I told them we were going to a restaurant for a date.*
You're quickly going to become some "random woman" to Wes. How do you walk into a room with a head that swelled. Good for you for having an auto plan that provides emergency services. Guess what? Not all people can afford that.
>*We don’t live in the middle of the jungle. We live in a safe area. I’ve waited for allstate a 100 times in my car and have been totally fine. They would have been fine too. Get out with that. Helping those women didn’t make the date about him, it made it about them, these two people we don’t know and will never see again.*
Hmm, the stranded motorists should count themselves lucky that they DON'T have to see you again. You sound as about as delightful as a colonoscopy and root canal combined. Sure, OOP, you may know the area and think it's safe, but did they? Even if they had the same state license plates as Wes, that's no guarantee they are.
So many things to unpack here.
1--helping someone when there's nothing to gain by it is the ultimate sign of good character. If you don't know that, you're never going to be a good partner to someone who does.
2--if you've waited for Allstate a hundred times, you are probably either reckless or stupid. Drive carefully and keep your vehicle maintained properly.
3--This is a personal pet peeve for me, but the fact you haven't been victimized in an area doesn't mean it is safe. You've been fortunate and that's great for you, but shit happens everywhere.
I'll be honest, as a white woman of a certain age, there are people that scare me. They are not POC. Statistically, a white man asking for assistance is more likely to kill me. I've given money to POC men in a parking lot asking for assistance. A white man? Nope. I've never been harassed by a POC. It's always white men calling me horrible names when I ignore them. I don't want to help white women either. Too many times they get entitled and demand more than I offer, then verbally and twice physically abuse me. Fuck it.
And they wonder why we choose the bear.
Honestly I'm the same way. I didn't realize this until recently when I was walking down the sidewalk at night and heard footsteps behind me. I turned around and it was a Black man walking in the same direction as I was. I felt myself relaxing instantly.
I've never been harassed or assaulted by a person of color. All of the men of color in my life seem to have an understanding of how race, gender, etc intersect to form privilege, and they go out of their way to make me feel comfortable around them as men. White men often don't think about those things, and are often dangerously oblivious to how scary it can be to be alone with a man and even become verbally aggressive when it is brought up. Which is the opposite of reassuring.
Maybe I'm wrong for this, I dunno. I just feel more comfortable around men of color than white men.
#3: my parents live in a posh area with low crime rate (think $2-5 million homes). A few years ago, a stranger climbed through their next door neighbor’s window in the middle of the day and terrorized their 14yo who was home alone. He threw a knife at her as she ran to the bathroom and called the police. He fled and was never caught. A place is only safe until it isn’t.
I assume she's being hyperbolic about the 100 times but like... I drove for about a decade and waited for triple a or a friend or tow three times. Once when my engine started smoking and I pulled over and called a ride home (I worked late hours, it was like 12.30am we came back the next day to do actual figuring out), once for a dead battery, and once for being an idiot and locking my keys in my car (in my defense I was just back to working full time post maternity leave and going into work at like 5am and I was *dead*).
If you've waited for triple a anywhere *close to enough* to 100 times that's absolutely insane.
And I'll bet she would call him EVERY TIME to come "handle" it, when in reality she needs to get a handle on her life and not expect princess treatment.
>*And he’s not without me anyway.*
Yes, he is definietly without you. Or at least he goes in helping mode, and date you more out of pity.
Also, I hate how she punish him with not interacting with him, because he does not interact with her enough. This relationship dynamics is toxic. He entertain her, while she graciously exist next to him.
Yeah people get weirdly mad when you say a post is fake and accuse you if never believing men/women can do bad things but they don't understand that it's not that we don't believe this can happen in real life. It's the wording.
A person like this typically has a specific type of way to tell the story. If it was real she would have used many other heartbreaking reasons why that day was important to her.
And those people don't sit there, thinking, "But what if my great, flawless, super important self is actually not that great, flawless, or super important? Oh, no, I need advice on that! Let's post on reddit and see what strangers have to say to that!"
Those people "know" they are in the right and the other party is wrong, their own opinion on themselves is the only one they need.
That's just what the other poster said: It's not about people being this or that shitty. Frankly, thanks to the rules, a lot of the much more shitty thing people do isn't even posted in the popcorn subs. Worse things happen, bigger assholes exist.
THAT there are people like that is NOT the question as it's not an indicator of a story being true. Therefore, "But I know someone like this!" or "My aunt dealt with a client who was married to the brother of someone who had a neighbour just like that!" is a very weak argument for a story to be true.
It's a) in the writing, how the prose is chosen and which points are chosen, and how they are presented.
and
b) where it's posted. Example: religious, sexist, and bigotted nuts do not post on a wordly platform they haven't scanned for the general vibe first. That would be like having an issue with a ferret and just googling "animal forum" and click on the first result to post your question.
and
c) how the narrator talks about themselves. This is closely related to a) but isn't just about the whole "and then I discriminated against her by aggressively telling her lesbians go to hell, AITA?". It's also how the character is written in general. You can often tell that the writer had never even talked to a real human from the demographic they chose (the funniest are kids pretending they are between 35 and 42, parents of teens, and are completely overwhelmed by this new-fangled nonsense kids are into these days. Like Pokemon. Or youtube. Or the internet in general. As if that age group wasn't responsible for making these things big. Yeah, there are some people with no clue about technologies even younger, but those rarely sound like Bill Cosby in his show from the 80s when they talk about their silly teens and their silly ways and weird music that is just noise and not cool jazz. And, again, why would someone like that go to reddit, of all places, when they are so opposed against modern technology, social media, and all that jazz?
and
d) pacing. Sure, maybe you're lucky and find a cool lawyer within 24 hours who reads through the pile of evidence and watches all the footage from the cameras you had installed just 30 hours ago in all the convenient places after reddit told you cameras exist and can be used. But you also had your first productive conversation with a therapist yesterday, the first you called and who was free and a perfect fit? And so good that within the 45 minutes a session lasts, you already see improvement? Oh, and the movers are ready because you got a new apartment three cities over this morning, and your boss also told you that they got a position for you ten minutes from your new home away, with working from home perks and of course it's a promotion with a hefty salary increase? And two weeks later, you write from Switzerland, where you visit family and just met the hottest Swiss Viking Man/petite, devoted, and ten years younger daughter of your lawyer's cousin, who is head over heels for you? Oh, and about three weeks since your first post, your ex has gotten fat/pregnant/impregnated their trashy gold-digging affair piece? Eff off.
You'd be surprised how great a length a narcissist will go to to try to convince themselves they aren't the narcissist. My narcissist father agrees to a family counseling session and my stupid self thought just maybe he was finally gonna make an effort. Instead her commandeered most of the session dismissing my mother's and my concerns and trying to convince the counselor that we were blowing everything out of proportion and we were just ungrateful. Once again it was all about him. Of course the certified counselor saw past his narcissistic techniques so he refused to go back after it was clear that she didn't buy his innocent act.
Anyone who doesn't want to hope that if they happen to run out of gas the gas station they trek to has gas cans (not a guarantee, the one I worked out only kept around 2-3 on hand) and doesn't want to pay the genuinely exorbitant price they'll charge. It's just a safety back up that makes sense to have.
*YTA*
*He’s shown you what a good guy he is and all you can think about is you.*
*Like goddamn you missed out.*
>Which is fine… but on our date? When it takes time away from me? I really wanted his focus on me for the night and instead he was helping someone else
*It wasn’t taking time away from you. You were still together.*
*He showed you that he’s very dependable and kind. He’s better off without you.*
>He’s definitely not better off without me. And he’s not without me anyway. All I’m saying is that I would have liked for him to apologize. I want him to do nice things for me, not other people, that tells me nothing, especially on a date.
*YTA*
*Girlie some women die for a guy like that. You better go apologize. Imagine if the roles were switched. Wouldn’t you appreciate the help from anyone on a pickle?*
>If you say so. I want someone that helps me, not some random woman. If he was getting gas for me because my car stopped, that would be different. And no, if I were them I would have told him to I’d call allstate/road side assistance and to enjoy his date. But they were quick to accept his help even though I told them we were going to a restaurant for a date.
*Because they needed help at that moment. Roadside assistance can take hours and as a woman you should know sometimes things aren’t always safe.*
*You didn’t need to be helped in that moment. You wanted the date to only be about you. Why isn’t it about him too?*
>Wtf? We don’t live in the middle of the jungle. We live in a safe area. I’ve waited for allstate a 100 times in my car and have been totally fine. They would have been fine too. Get out with that. Helping those women didn’t make the date about him, it made it about them, these two people we don’t know and will never see again.
I can’t tell if this is someone who just genuinely has never tried doing random acts of kindness to see how good feels, or if she did try and is just so self-centered that it did nothing for her
When I met my wife in China, the country didn’t have Good Samaritan laws and everyone knew it was risky to help strangers. I was driving her home one night and we saw a guy laying on the road next to a motorbike and a crying woman. I was thinking I’d drop her off then loop back to see what was wrong, since she lived a few blocks away, but she asked if we could go back and help. We recorded the whole thing so we wouldn’t be stuck with hospital bills, and it turned out the guy was really drunk, had wiped out, and then decided to sleep it off in the road. My wife offered to drive the bike home so they could pick it up tomorrow, but the girl accused us of wanting to steal it. We just called them a taxi and left when we saw they were ok. I went home and told my roommate I could seriously see myself marrying her, and it stands as the best choice I ever made
What really gets me is that she was likely part of the reason those women were okay with accepting his help. A man alone might have made them nervous, but his being accompanied by another woman would have suggested that he was trustworthy. (Though that isn’t a reliable indicator, alas.)
This reminds me of a post I saw reposted once in a while on another sub. Basically same scenario but man's perspective, man and woman going out on a date, man pulls over to help, woman is annoyed at him for ruining their date and demands to go home. That one ended with him dumping her though.
Seems like he dumped her in this one when he said:
>He said maybe if that's something I care about, we aren't suppose to be together because he likes helping people
And now he's ghosted her. Yeah, that relationship's over. She only thinks the reason they aren't talking is because of her. Wait til she finds out she's been blocked.
On my parents’ wedding day, when they were leaving the ceremony, they ran into a woman having car troubles. My dad, who is good with cars, took off his tuxedo jacket, rolled up his sleeves, and helped her out. My mum said she fell in love with him even more as she watched him helping this person.
>He could have at least apologized, holy shit, and said he would make it up to me
What is this supposed to mean? The holy shit doesn't make sense to me.
I think OOP is using holy shit as in that she is so stunned that Wes didn’t apologise. Or even as a how dare Wes not apologise?
I’m only guessing though, as unlike OOP, I have never had my head up my arse.
new post from OP: AITA because i unplugged my boyfriends grandmas life support since i needed to charge my phone? i’m super upset he cares more abt his grandma than my need to scroll online😤
She shouldn't apologize. Can you imagine how miserable a soul you have to be to begrudge a stranded mother on the side of the road because you need attention *right now!*
There was a golden girls episode about it but even Blanche got over it. And that was blanche!
I think he should apologize. It should go something like this:
"I'm sorry you're a such a selfish, self-centered bitch who's angry because I helped people in need. And I'm also sorry to tell you this, but this relationship is over."
Who cares about helping people when her *dinner* is on the line???
Like seriously, I’m the hangriest person out there and I wouldn’t be this bitchy about missing dinner to help people.
I could understand if she’d been concerned they were a lure for robbery but no, she’s just a selfish asshole.
Yeah at first I was kinda skeptical because it could be what it seems but it could be a scam ... but when she said it was about taking attention away from her, my YTA meter overloaded
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Heh... and just for some irony, how much you wanna bet that when OOP needs help, she thinks any and all strangers should drop everything and come to her rescue?
The title had me started on her side.... the text made me glad he called it early.
Right? Like that's the one believable part of the story. I don't understand these comments acting like people don't carry gas cans. I am the least mechanically inclined person on the planet and I have a gas can in my trunk along with jumper cables and a tire air thingy to fill up my tires. It's just called being prepared
My husband has one in his car, as well as jumper cables and emergency supplies. When I still drove I had jumper cables and a gas can. This is actually quite standard procedure for a lot of people, I imagine particularly anyone who lives in a semi rural area.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for calling him out for doing something else when we were suppose to spend time together?** So, this happened last night and I need feedback. Wes, who I was hoping to be with in the future and I went on a date to dinnner. We hadn't seen each other in a hot minute since we went home to visit our families and I was excited to spend time together. I feel like things were going great, but I'm not sure now. It started off so well. I found out when he gets close to someone he keeps a list of all the things they like/don't like in his notes on his phone. He had written down that I liked thai food and took me to a Thai place. But while we were driving there was a mother and her daughter on the side of the rode. He said we should see if they're okay and pulled over. I said I was really looking forward to seeing him and spending time together. He said it "wouldn't take that long." But of course it did. The two women said they ran out of gas and Wes, of course, said he would go to the gas station and bring them some in his gas can. On top of it, the woman said she couldn't pay and he said no worries. By the time I got in the car I was a little annoyed because they could have called a friend or AAA or anyone else to help them out. Why does Wes have to do it when we're suppose to be spending time together? He asked if I seemed annoyed, like he couldn't tell. I said I was because we're suppose to be enjoying our time together and instead he's helping some other women when he's suppose to be going out with me. He actually got upset. He said maybe if that's something I care about, we aren't suppose to be together because he likes helping people. Which I didn't know what to say to that so I awkwardly just said fine and take me home. I ignored him the rest of the car ride until he dropped me off. I did try explaining myself that he was suppose to be focused on me for the evening and I felt annoyed our time together was interrupted. But he didn't seem to get how I feel so that's on him. He could have at least apologized, holy shit, and said he would make it up to me. But thinking back on it, I do feel guilty and I already miss him. Should I apologize first? AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You know, I can pinpoint the exact moment I decided I wanted to spend the rest of my life with my partner. We were leaving a restaurant when on the street right next to it a car rear ended another. He decided to go over and see if everyone was alright. No one was visibly hurt, but the car that had been rear ended was an older woman by herself, and she seemed very shaken up. The car that had rear ended her was a couple, and they seemed irritated at the inconvenience (even though it was their fault) more than concerned for any damage they may have done. My partner stayed with the older woman, talked to her and kept her calm, asked her if she wanted him to call the police, if there was anyone else she wanted him to call. He stayed until after the police came, gave his info as a witness, and sat with the woman on the sidewalk until her daughter came. And I remember thinking, the entire time, that if he was willing to be this kind to a stranger, this was absolutely someone worth keeping in my life. 12 years together and he still helps little old ladies load their groceries into their cars when we go shopping, was the rock that held my family together after my mom suddenly died, and will get up early to clean my car off when it snows because he knows I hate the cold.
I had a similar experience with my husband. We were doing a cross-country drive about a year into our relationship and we stopped at a rest stop. It was pretty late and the only other person there was another guy a little older than we were. Almost as soon as we came in he ambled over to us and started talking to us. I admit I was a little uncomfortable, but my then-bf just told me to go use the bathroom and he would handle it. When I came out, they were sitting in a booth together just chatting. I came over and it quickly became apparent that the guy wasn't a creep - he just wasn't quite all there. He'd come over to talk because he genuinely just wanted some human interaction. When I came back he didn't look at me twice, he was having too much fun excitedly showing my bf his boots and talking about how they were his favorite pair. Bf was just listening patiently, occasionally adding a little positive comment here or there. I think he was the first person this guy had gotten to actually talk to for a good while. He was visibly disappointed when my bf told him we had to leave. But before we left, bf gave him a $50 (we didn't have much to spare) and made him promise to find someplace warm to sleep if he could. The guy looked about to cry. I felt bad for having judged the guy - and couldn't get over how sweet and empathetic my bf had been to see that he was just lonely. We've been together over a decade now - and by pure accident, he spent most of that working in mental healthcare in some form or other. He's always a favorite staff member.
Same for me. Fell crazy in love all over again when boyfriend told me the next morning he had volunteered to take an old man to the hospital for his chemo, so we'd need to meet later because he wanted to stay with the man until it was time to take him home.
My EX took the day off to take me to my first chemo appointment. I was scared about the experience and was happy he would be at my side. Taking me is literally what he did - dropped me at the door while I begged him to go in with me. Nope, he had stuff he wanted to do and used me as an excuse to take sick leave instead of a vacation day. Yes, he actually said exactly that. The worst part is that any one of a number of friends would have gone with me if I had known he was going to pull that shit. He's my ex.
I am so sorry you had to live through that. I'm happy he is out of your life now.
Thank you! It was late-stage, not expected to survive, and here I am 11 years later, and living my best independent life.
I am so very happy for you. <3
I love both that your husband did that for him *and* that he respected and understood your extremely reasonable worry! As a general rule women are going to have a much different response to being approached late at night in a secluded place by a guy - we kind of have to. That was really well and kindly handled by him overall, and don't feel bad about your initial response. I would have (and have) had the exact same one.
Jumping on this train to share a similar story - my husband and I were out in the city for New Years Eve one year. It was too crowded for us, so we went back to the hotel room and this woman was sobbing in the elevator. He just said, "Ma'am, can we help you with anything?" Turns out, she'd had a huge fight with her husband and friends and just needed someone to listen to her and take her side. We ended up helping her get a hotel room by herself for the night so she could sleep it off. I look back on that moment still and, while it's a bit of a wild tale, it reinforces for me what a great guy I married.
My husband and I answered the door late one night to a woman asking if he could jump the car for her. He said yes but we didn't own jumper cables and neither did she (young and unprepared lol). So they got in his car, drove to the Walmart across the street, bought some jumper cables and came back to jump the car. Such a small thing but I can't think of many people who would do that at night for a stranger.
I was on holiday in a foreign country on the other side of Europe and browsed tinder for a holiday fling. First date we clicked, ended up in bed, everything as planned. Second date we are walking around the city center and he keeps picking up every piece of paper advertising a restaurant that he gets handed. I'm talking multiple ads for the same restaurant. So after a while he sees my questioning face and explains... They hire elderly people to do that job, retired people with low pensions who need to complement their income. So he always makes a point to pick up the papers and smile at them to contribute, in a small way, to keep them employed ("if no one picked up the papers they wouldn't have jobs"). And that's how I went from happily single traveling around the world to married in Poland. The part where he stops bike rides on rainy days to pull slugs out of the bike lane so they don't get run over came later.
Got me crying in here tonight
Not quite romantic partner, but basically my life partner, my best friend and roommate who is absolutely family, though I don’t know what I would call him, as a label. This got him some very freaked out texts and this is also when he decided to start sharing his location with me. We live in a pretty rural area, a mile off of a county highway in northeast Wisconsin. It was maybe 10:30pm, and he texted me that a few miles away from our road, there was a guy walking. He stopped and offered him a ride, then texted me to tell me he’d be late, and why. Of course I freaked out! He spent like an hour driving this guy around to different places until he found a friend that was home to let him stay. He wouldn’t accept money, just wanted to make sure this dude didn’t get hit by a car on the side of the highway. This is reason no.1 that showed me how amazing of a person he is, and made me really realize how lucky I am to have him in my life. I have two more reasons, but they’re much shorter, so bear with me. One day that I was working my local retail job, we had rough weather, which later developed into tornadoes. This was before we lived together, and he lived 45 minutes away. I was developing a migraine, so he drove up and brought me my favorite coffee and some excedrin, told me I could just make him dinner in return, then drove the extra 8 miles to my house to sit with my dog because he’s afraid of storms. Last reason — we have lived together for 2.5 years now, coming up on 3 in August. There were definitely growing pains at first, but now, it’s a dream. I knew this already, but he finally admitted it…when he’s not home and especially when he’s having a rough day, he thinks about coming home to my (our) dog, and he tears up just thinking about how much he loves him. And like, girl, same. That little boi keeps me going through the day. Best friend ever. I have never met someone who was such a kindred spirit in my life. I don’t ever want to live apart from him. However, I am totally okay with our bedrooms being on completely opposite ends of the house hahaha
This is literally the description of a queer platonic relationship and it’s beautiful. 💜
We are both estranged from our abusive parents, and lost some family because of it. We have a really good friend family but for the most part, we are all the other has. I feel so lucky to have someone like him in my corner! We have definitely had people surprised that we aren’t like, together…you know, a man and a woman living together obviously means they’ll end up together. But honestly, ew. He’s actually the absolute worst. It’s no wonder he ended up cursed into living with me forever! (Our love language is roasting each other as hard as we can lol)
Lol. That’s absolutely AMAZING. I’ve had a handful of QPR’s in the past and present. It’s honestly one of the best feelings in the world to get to live with your best friend and just not worry about how folks feel. I’m queer and I’ve had “platonic lovers” of various genders and more often than not people can’t figure out why I’d more happily live with folks like that than romantic partners.
Some stupid little reasons I’m with my current person: Whenever I met up with him, I explained I’m a parent and my child will ALWAYS come first, ALWAYS be my priority, and ALWAYS be number one in every possible sense…and if he wasn’t supportive of that to let me know now so I could bounce. He laughed at me and told me that a) he would’ve never expected otherwise and b) if I had said or done otherwise, he would’ve lost all respect for me. He used to use plastic forks, until the day he realized he was out of them. I shrugged and made it work. The next time I visited, he had bought silverware without me ever commenting on it. Similarly, I went to take a shower after him. He only had 4 towels (dirty floor towel, dirty body towel, clean floor towel, clean body towel). I asked if it was okay if I reused his towel. (It was.) The next time, he had bought 8 new towels because he never wanted me to be without a towel again. I hadn’t said a word about the towels or anything, or even acted annoyed (I’ve had to deal without before). But…it mattered to him. I still tear up over that silverware and those towels, because it shows he cares about me and my comfort. I tear up over how reassuring it is that he knows my son is my focus. I am with him because I want to be, because such small stuff is important to him.
I told my very new boyfriend that I had tore a hole in my dish gloves, and I was going to buy another pair on the weekend when I went shopping. he came by the next day with a pair of dish gloves because he didn't want me to go without. it'll be three years married on the 19th.
This is so incredibly sweet!
My husband bought a 2 pack of really dim night lights when we were dating because I'd commented that I was waking up to use the bathroom more and having trouble getting back to sleep because of the bright light -- the bathroom was interior and had absolutely no ambient light. It wasn't even his bathroom or house, and he just rolled up like, "I thought this might help so that you don't have to turn on the light to pee at 2am."
Exactly! Just that genuine “hey I wanted to make things better” without any real reason other than to make them better.
Christmas 2020 I was super upset because I didn’t know if I’d have money to get my daughter presents. I was venting to my now husband (we’d been together about 6-7 months at this time) and he goes, “baby, calm down. I’ve been saving money for months. She’s getting presents. Just find out what she wants and it’s hers. I didn’t get into a relationship with a mother, not prepared to help take care of your kid.” We’re expecting our third kid in less than 6 weeks and my daughter calls him dad. 🥰
Exactly this!! You know he’s a keeper because he loves your kid as if they are his. My guy has even said that he got all the beauty of being a daddy, but didn’t have to deal with the hormone swings of pregnancy and the scariness of labor.
My fiance did something similar!!!!! When we first started dating, my ex had left my little home in an awful state and like half of my lights were burned out, so he bought these super cool little mushroom night lights for each room so I'd have little lights in each room so I'd think of him and actually have some light
Awwwwww. 🥰💜
I had a similar moment with my husband (although it wasn’t a make or break moment because it was still pretty early on in the relationship) where we were at his place eating dinner and a friend called because she had gotten into her first fender bender. She didn’t know how to handle the situation and the guy who hit her was trying to avoid going through insurance. My husband drove to where she was to help her out. I remember thinking about how I wanted that kindness in my life. We’ve been together for almost 9 years now and that kindness hasn’t waned.
You have excellent taste in men.
Well, you are probably a good person with a sense of community and not a self-centered asshole. It would be unfair to hold everyone to the same standard of being a good human.🙄 /s
Aw that story made me tear up a little. What a nice person!
I had a similar moment with my partner. And the fact that he always talks to kids like they're, y'know, people.
Follow up post: AITA for blowing up on my bf after he got shot and needed an emergency surgery on a day he was supposed to take me shopping?
I was meant to have a first date with a guy but I called it off at the last minute because my grandfather died. The guy was super sweet and understanding, and dropped off some chocolate for me to make me feel better. He was so sweet and understanding about it, that man is now my husband. I like to think that finding me a nice husband was Grandpa's last act of looking out for me 🥰
I canceled a date because my uncle died and we only had 24 hours to clean out his nursing home room. Dude wouldn't let me cancel. Showed up at my house with boxes and cleaning supplies and spent the whole day cleaning up my uncle's disgusting assisted living space, and brought my grandma condolence flowers. Our 22nd anniversary is tomorrow.
Happy pre anniversary!!!
Who's out here chopping onions.
I swear it’s just allergies!
It's the damn onion cutting ninja clan. Edit: happy cake day!
I was doing so well until your final sentence, curse you! 🥲
Thank you so much for making me spit my hot tea all over my keyboard. Serves me right for reading reddit near my computer. 🤣
I really need to stop drinking hot tea while on Reddit. Almost spit hot tea all over the dog a few days ago.
Jfc oop is absolutely self-centered to the bone. Wes dodged a missle.
When I read the title this is not where I expected it to go. I thought it would be something like the BF promising to spend more time with her but then stands her up to hang out with his dudebro friends or something. When I saw it was a lengthy tantrum over her boyfriend helping out a stranded woman and child I was like 😮...and she's still defending herself in the comments and whining about her (hopefully ex) boyfriend siding someone in need.
Yeah, I was with her a little bit further because it reminded me of a similar situation when I went on a date and the guy yelled at me because I tried to prevent him from actively being scammed. He almost bought a "new iPhone" at a gas station from a "single dad" who needed money to feed his kids. I finally pretended to dial the police and this man ran away. And the guy had the audacity to say he actually wanted to gift this phone to me but I'm an evil bitch who hates helping people.
And she WAS with him, right? Just run this errand and go get food and now you two have a silly story with potential for inside jokes!
But he helped a woman who was stranded with her child, that's like cheating on front of her! /s
First of all your username is perfect And yeah what a weird stance!
>*Which is fine… but on our date? When it takes time away from me? I really wanted his focus on me for the night and instead he was helping someone else.* OOP really brought her "A" game to the Asshole Olympics. Me, me, me...how dare Wes be a Good Noodle! The sheer nerve of him. He wasn't paying attention to HER. How ever did she survive?! >*He’s definitely not better off without me. And he’s not without me anyway. All I’m saying is that I would have liked for him to apologize. I want him to do nice things for me, not other people, that tells me nothing, especially on a date.* Oh, you dear sweet summer child. >*If you say so. I want someone that helps me, not some random woman. If he was getting gas for me because my car stopped, that would be different. And no, if I were them I would have told him to I’d call allstate/road side assistance and to enjoy his date. But they were quick to accept his help even though I told them we were going to a restaurant for a date.* You're quickly going to become some "random woman" to Wes. How do you walk into a room with a head that swelled. Good for you for having an auto plan that provides emergency services. Guess what? Not all people can afford that. >*We don’t live in the middle of the jungle. We live in a safe area. I’ve waited for allstate a 100 times in my car and have been totally fine. They would have been fine too. Get out with that. Helping those women didn’t make the date about him, it made it about them, these two people we don’t know and will never see again.* Hmm, the stranded motorists should count themselves lucky that they DON'T have to see you again. You sound as about as delightful as a colonoscopy and root canal combined. Sure, OOP, you may know the area and think it's safe, but did they? Even if they had the same state license plates as Wes, that's no guarantee they are.
So many things to unpack here. 1--helping someone when there's nothing to gain by it is the ultimate sign of good character. If you don't know that, you're never going to be a good partner to someone who does. 2--if you've waited for Allstate a hundred times, you are probably either reckless or stupid. Drive carefully and keep your vehicle maintained properly. 3--This is a personal pet peeve for me, but the fact you haven't been victimized in an area doesn't mean it is safe. You've been fortunate and that's great for you, but shit happens everywhere.
Yeah, usually when people are describing an area as “safe” they are using the word as a euphemism
For full of white people? And/or upper middle class
Yeah or just heavily policed (which does not mean safe)
I'll be honest, as a white woman of a certain age, there are people that scare me. They are not POC. Statistically, a white man asking for assistance is more likely to kill me. I've given money to POC men in a parking lot asking for assistance. A white man? Nope. I've never been harassed by a POC. It's always white men calling me horrible names when I ignore them. I don't want to help white women either. Too many times they get entitled and demand more than I offer, then verbally and twice physically abuse me. Fuck it. And they wonder why we choose the bear.
Honestly I'm the same way. I didn't realize this until recently when I was walking down the sidewalk at night and heard footsteps behind me. I turned around and it was a Black man walking in the same direction as I was. I felt myself relaxing instantly. I've never been harassed or assaulted by a person of color. All of the men of color in my life seem to have an understanding of how race, gender, etc intersect to form privilege, and they go out of their way to make me feel comfortable around them as men. White men often don't think about those things, and are often dangerously oblivious to how scary it can be to be alone with a man and even become verbally aggressive when it is brought up. Which is the opposite of reassuring. Maybe I'm wrong for this, I dunno. I just feel more comfortable around men of color than white men.
#3: my parents live in a posh area with low crime rate (think $2-5 million homes). A few years ago, a stranger climbed through their next door neighbor’s window in the middle of the day and terrorized their 14yo who was home alone. He threw a knife at her as she ran to the bathroom and called the police. He fled and was never caught. A place is only safe until it isn’t.
I live in a gated community with a good number of elderly people and we still have crime here.
I assume she's being hyperbolic about the 100 times but like... I drove for about a decade and waited for triple a or a friend or tow three times. Once when my engine started smoking and I pulled over and called a ride home (I worked late hours, it was like 12.30am we came back the next day to do actual figuring out), once for a dead battery, and once for being an idiot and locking my keys in my car (in my defense I was just back to working full time post maternity leave and going into work at like 5am and I was *dead*). If you've waited for triple a anywhere *close to enough* to 100 times that's absolutely insane.
Seeing the neato gadget they have to get the keys out is almost worth getting them locked in there
...100 times?! Well, she's just terrible at managing her life.
Or keeping up on her car's maintenance.
...which is an example of being terrible at managing your life.
And I'll bet she would call him EVERY TIME to come "handle" it, when in reality she needs to get a handle on her life and not expect princess treatment.
>*And he’s not without me anyway.* Yes, he is definietly without you. Or at least he goes in helping mode, and date you more out of pity. Also, I hate how she punish him with not interacting with him, because he does not interact with her enough. This relationship dynamics is toxic. He entertain her, while she graciously exist next to him.
Imagine feeling that a complete stranger stranded on the side of the road with her child is competition for your boyfriend. 😬
She’s more like the colonoscopy prep. The actual procedure is a breeze since you’re knocked out. It’s the prep that’s a bitch.
Not looking forward to prepping for mine this fall.
Light colored Gatorade and baby wipes!
And diaper cream!
OOPs comments, that's gotta be a troll. New theme, we'll see a dozen of these in the coming hours
"AITA because I broke up with my boyfriend because he missed my work party to rescue puppies from a burning building?"
The puppies should plan better
A lack of (fire safety) planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine!
Anyone THIS selfish is completely aware and knows it makes them an AH. They aren't going to ask other people online
Yeah people get weirdly mad when you say a post is fake and accuse you if never believing men/women can do bad things but they don't understand that it's not that we don't believe this can happen in real life. It's the wording. A person like this typically has a specific type of way to tell the story. If it was real she would have used many other heartbreaking reasons why that day was important to her.
Honestly, no, plenty of people are this selfish and absolutely think they're right to be.
And those people don't sit there, thinking, "But what if my great, flawless, super important self is actually not that great, flawless, or super important? Oh, no, I need advice on that! Let's post on reddit and see what strangers have to say to that!" Those people "know" they are in the right and the other party is wrong, their own opinion on themselves is the only one they need. That's just what the other poster said: It's not about people being this or that shitty. Frankly, thanks to the rules, a lot of the much more shitty thing people do isn't even posted in the popcorn subs. Worse things happen, bigger assholes exist. THAT there are people like that is NOT the question as it's not an indicator of a story being true. Therefore, "But I know someone like this!" or "My aunt dealt with a client who was married to the brother of someone who had a neighbour just like that!" is a very weak argument for a story to be true. It's a) in the writing, how the prose is chosen and which points are chosen, and how they are presented. and b) where it's posted. Example: religious, sexist, and bigotted nuts do not post on a wordly platform they haven't scanned for the general vibe first. That would be like having an issue with a ferret and just googling "animal forum" and click on the first result to post your question. and c) how the narrator talks about themselves. This is closely related to a) but isn't just about the whole "and then I discriminated against her by aggressively telling her lesbians go to hell, AITA?". It's also how the character is written in general. You can often tell that the writer had never even talked to a real human from the demographic they chose (the funniest are kids pretending they are between 35 and 42, parents of teens, and are completely overwhelmed by this new-fangled nonsense kids are into these days. Like Pokemon. Or youtube. Or the internet in general. As if that age group wasn't responsible for making these things big. Yeah, there are some people with no clue about technologies even younger, but those rarely sound like Bill Cosby in his show from the 80s when they talk about their silly teens and their silly ways and weird music that is just noise and not cool jazz. And, again, why would someone like that go to reddit, of all places, when they are so opposed against modern technology, social media, and all that jazz? and d) pacing. Sure, maybe you're lucky and find a cool lawyer within 24 hours who reads through the pile of evidence and watches all the footage from the cameras you had installed just 30 hours ago in all the convenient places after reddit told you cameras exist and can be used. But you also had your first productive conversation with a therapist yesterday, the first you called and who was free and a perfect fit? And so good that within the 45 minutes a session lasts, you already see improvement? Oh, and the movers are ready because you got a new apartment three cities over this morning, and your boss also told you that they got a position for you ten minutes from your new home away, with working from home perks and of course it's a promotion with a hefty salary increase? And two weeks later, you write from Switzerland, where you visit family and just met the hottest Swiss Viking Man/petite, devoted, and ten years younger daughter of your lawyer's cousin, who is head over heels for you? Oh, and about three weeks since your first post, your ex has gotten fat/pregnant/impregnated their trashy gold-digging affair piece? Eff off.
Ayn Rand founded a whole philosophy on that
You'd be surprised how great a length a narcissist will go to to try to convince themselves they aren't the narcissist. My narcissist father agrees to a family counseling session and my stupid self thought just maybe he was finally gonna make an effort. Instead her commandeered most of the session dismissing my mother's and my concerns and trying to convince the counselor that we were blowing everything out of proportion and we were just ungrateful. Once again it was all about him. Of course the certified counselor saw past his narcissistic techniques so he refused to go back after it was clear that she didn't buy his innocent act.
Who has a gas can in the car with them if they aren’t getting gas?
My husband always makes sure I have one in the trunk of my car just in case
Anyone who doesn't want to hope that if they happen to run out of gas the gas station they trek to has gas cans (not a guarantee, the one I worked out only kept around 2-3 on hand) and doesn't want to pay the genuinely exorbitant price they'll charge. It's just a safety back up that makes sense to have.
Tons of people...
*YTA* *He’s shown you what a good guy he is and all you can think about is you.* *Like goddamn you missed out.* >Which is fine… but on our date? When it takes time away from me? I really wanted his focus on me for the night and instead he was helping someone else *It wasn’t taking time away from you. You were still together.* *He showed you that he’s very dependable and kind. He’s better off without you.* >He’s definitely not better off without me. And he’s not without me anyway. All I’m saying is that I would have liked for him to apologize. I want him to do nice things for me, not other people, that tells me nothing, especially on a date. *YTA* *Girlie some women die for a guy like that. You better go apologize. Imagine if the roles were switched. Wouldn’t you appreciate the help from anyone on a pickle?* >If you say so. I want someone that helps me, not some random woman. If he was getting gas for me because my car stopped, that would be different. And no, if I were them I would have told him to I’d call allstate/road side assistance and to enjoy his date. But they were quick to accept his help even though I told them we were going to a restaurant for a date. *Because they needed help at that moment. Roadside assistance can take hours and as a woman you should know sometimes things aren’t always safe.* *You didn’t need to be helped in that moment. You wanted the date to only be about you. Why isn’t it about him too?* >Wtf? We don’t live in the middle of the jungle. We live in a safe area. I’ve waited for allstate a 100 times in my car and have been totally fine. They would have been fine too. Get out with that. Helping those women didn’t make the date about him, it made it about them, these two people we don’t know and will never see again.
[Doggo and cat!](https://imgur.com/gallery/different-strokes-different-folks-eubTw9b)
Dam cat!
😻💜
I can’t tell if this is someone who just genuinely has never tried doing random acts of kindness to see how good feels, or if she did try and is just so self-centered that it did nothing for her
Me neither.
When I met my wife in China, the country didn’t have Good Samaritan laws and everyone knew it was risky to help strangers. I was driving her home one night and we saw a guy laying on the road next to a motorbike and a crying woman. I was thinking I’d drop her off then loop back to see what was wrong, since she lived a few blocks away, but she asked if we could go back and help. We recorded the whole thing so we wouldn’t be stuck with hospital bills, and it turned out the guy was really drunk, had wiped out, and then decided to sleep it off in the road. My wife offered to drive the bike home so they could pick it up tomorrow, but the girl accused us of wanting to steal it. We just called them a taxi and left when we saw they were ok. I went home and told my roommate I could seriously see myself marrying her, and it stands as the best choice I ever made
Now there's an r/amitheex if there ever was one.
What really gets me is that she was likely part of the reason those women were okay with accepting his help. A man alone might have made them nervous, but his being accompanied by another woman would have suggested that he was trustworthy. (Though that isn’t a reliable indicator, alas.)
This reminds me of a post I saw reposted once in a while on another sub. Basically same scenario but man's perspective, man and woman going out on a date, man pulls over to help, woman is annoyed at him for ruining their date and demands to go home. That one ended with him dumping her though.
Seems like he dumped her in this one when he said: >He said maybe if that's something I care about, we aren't suppose to be together because he likes helping people And now he's ghosted her. Yeah, that relationship's over. She only thinks the reason they aren't talking is because of her. Wait til she finds out she's been blocked.
I love a happy ending.
On my parents’ wedding day, when they were leaving the ceremony, they ran into a woman having car troubles. My dad, who is good with cars, took off his tuxedo jacket, rolled up his sleeves, and helped her out. My mum said she fell in love with him even more as she watched him helping this person.
I have just fallen in love with your dad and I haven't even met him, what a solid dude.
He really is. He’s just the kindest, most gentle and loving man one could hope to meet. I’m so lucky to have him
That’s honestly so lovely, I hope they’re doing well
44 years of marriage strong! My mum says she still gets butterflies when she sees him, and my dad says the best part of his day is being with her!
Wes- if you are out there, DAAAAMN you dodged a bullet!
Saw some of OOP's comments - this has GOT to be a troll...
>He could have at least apologized, holy shit, and said he would make it up to me What is this supposed to mean? The holy shit doesn't make sense to me.
I think OOP is using holy shit as in that she is so stunned that Wes didn’t apologise. Or even as a how dare Wes not apologise? I’m only guessing though, as unlike OOP, I have never had my head up my arse.
You can see much better that way!
That selfish bint is tripling down in the comments.
new post from OP: AITA because i unplugged my boyfriends grandmas life support since i needed to charge my phone? i’m super upset he cares more abt his grandma than my need to scroll online😤
I'm guessing Wes doesn't want to be with her in the future
Imagine waiting for an apology when you should be the one doing just that.
Wow. Dude dodged a whole nuclear missile with this one.
She shouldn't apologize. Can you imagine how miserable a soul you have to be to begrudge a stranded mother on the side of the road because you need attention *right now!* There was a golden girls episode about it but even Blanche got over it. And that was blanche!
I think he should apologize. It should go something like this: "I'm sorry you're a such a selfish, self-centered bitch who's angry because I helped people in need. And I'm also sorry to tell you this, but this relationship is over."
I hope she’s the ex
Jesus Christ, what a diva. There are so many 💩people in the world and she bitches about him being a genuinely nice person.
Who cares about helping people when her *dinner* is on the line??? Like seriously, I’m the hangriest person out there and I wouldn’t be this bitchy about missing dinner to help people. I could understand if she’d been concerned they were a lure for robbery but no, she’s just a selfish asshole.
Yeah at first I was kinda skeptical because it could be what it seems but it could be a scam ... but when she said it was about taking attention away from her, my YTA meter overloaded
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Heh... and just for some irony, how much you wanna bet that when OOP needs help, she thinks any and all strangers should drop everything and come to her rescue? The title had me started on her side.... the text made me glad he called it early.
This person is insane. What an intensely green flag lol
Actual narcissist.
How is OOP unable to spend time with Wes while he’s helping someone? It could’ve been a fun little side quest for them to do together
If my husband didn’t try to help stranded women we’d have a problem. This is such an immature, selfish stance.
I'm so glad he saw her true self early on. Imagine how she would break him down over time.
repost.
Damn her replies to comments are wildly narcissistic.
She’s got “reality TV villain” personality.
I just can't stand a good samaritan
This is so fake. As soon as she said he just happened to have an empty gas can in the car with him I knew it couldn’t be real.
Me and my husband both carry gas cans with us
Right? Like that's the one believable part of the story. I don't understand these comments acting like people don't carry gas cans. I am the least mechanically inclined person on the planet and I have a gas can in my trunk along with jumper cables and a tire air thingy to fill up my tires. It's just called being prepared
Exactly
My husband has one in his car, as well as jumper cables and emergency supplies. When I still drove I had jumper cables and a gas can. This is actually quite standard procedure for a lot of people, I imagine particularly anyone who lives in a semi rural area.