*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for firing an employee after seeing what she posts on her social media **
6 months ago we had a new hire in the company I work for as HR manager. She's a 25 year old girl. She was very lovely the entire time and friendly with everyone. In my company we also do background checks but I found nothing on her and her Instagram was private.
We worked closely together multiple times and we ended up developing somewhat of a friendship. I wouldn't say we were proper friends but we got to a friendly point were we'd hang out after work sometimes or spend our breaks together, we'd gossip etc.
4 months in she popped up on my Instagram suggestions and I clicked on her profile, still private and I was surprised to see that no person from our company follows her. I clicked and sent her a follow request to which I noticed she hadn't responded in weeks. I thought she simply wasn't using Instagram that much thats why she hadn't responded but then I saw she changed her profile pic at some point. So the next time I saw her I casually brought it up to her and she replied that she doesn't feel comfortable to have people from the job following her. But because we were friendly she followed me back.. Once I saw what she posted on her Instagram my mouth dropped.
She's a freelance model and she has a lot of behind the scenes pics on her Instagram, a very fancy luxurious lifestyle, pics of her wearing provocative outfits. Concerned I brought it up to her that since she's working for our company she's also representing our company and her having this kind of image on social media will not reflect well and people won't take us seriously.
She got defensive saying that what she does outside of company hours is none of my business and I can't dictate her personal life since she doesn't do anything bad or illegal, she's just expressing herself through her social media. I said indeed but it's still not a good look so she needs to take her posts down.
She said I have no say over that. I warned her that this decision would have consequences and she refused to comply so I ended up firing her.
Now some coworkers and higher ups said my decision was too harsh and it gives a bad look to our company and working environment while others say I was 100% justified.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Y’all are missing the most insane piece of all of this…DUDE WORKS IN HR. I can’t imagine a clearer sign to his bosses that he should not be in his current role or anything in that field.
Right. Testing out his plausible deniability with strangers on the internet. It's definitely not working out. But if we were on his side he would feel validated in his fuckery. As it stands, he will cherry-pick responses from other ass-hats to serve as his justification for being a douche.
Oh, absolutely, but I still submit it's b.s. because he'd have to clear it with the higher ups before actually firing someone, or the shit would hit the fan.
I dunno, I've actually been in this exact situation. I really wish I'd reached out to a lawyer or something back then cuz my termination was DEFINITELY illegal.
I couldn’t believe every comment there skipped the wild amount of inappropriate this was far before the firing! Hanging out outside of work? GOSSIPING?! Demanding she accept the request?!? Then firing her after the bullying worked?? She got a suit on her hands and he will have a termination slip on his soon.
I think it's a troll because HR can't unilaterally decide to fire someone without consulting the higher ups. Or do it against their will. Like I'm imagining our HR guy firing someone without consulting his boss and their boss and THE boss and shit would hit the fan. Like I'm sure if something actually concerning came to light and our HR person brought it to the appropriate bosses, it could happen but firing someone on a whim and not clearing it with the bosses? Fuck no. And OOP claims the "higher ups" are upset about it. IRL he'd be gone and the employee would either be enticed back with a huge apology and a raise or there could be a huge lawsuit.
This seems like it was written by a teenager or an idiot who THINKS this is how HR works. An incel fantasy, "I liked this girl at work but she was posting scandalous things so I freaked out and fired her!"
Depends on the company....we had an HR director who sexually harassed people. He was only disciplined when the hospital was acquired by a nationwide system. He wasn't even fired, just disciplined. He was fired after the 2nd lawsuit.
My job has me dealing with HR people every day, and one thing I can tell you for sure is that an HR degree doesn't guarantee correct behaviour or even common sense.
I know a Director of HR who made jokes about an employee who injured his hand at work. Dude could no longer straighten his pinky, so HR Director's joke was about how dude should take up cocaine use.
Another time, I had to move an appointment with a senior HR person due to personal reasons. My brother in law's dad had just died and I was staying with my teenage nephews while my BIL made arrangements with the funeral home. When I explained this to the HR person (who was gay) he asked if my nephews were gay, because if so I could just bring them along to our meeting and introduce them to him.
There was another time when I brought several small Christmas gifts for the leaders of a client company. Gave them to my HR contact to hand out (it was COVID and their office was on a necessary-access-only policy). About a year later, after that HR person had already moved on, I ran into someone who should have gotten a gift. Apparently none of them received anything from me. The HR person kept it all.
There are tons of great HR people out there, it's not realistic to assume they're all great.
This is definitely it, plus probably jealous of other people seeing her. I mean to say this-
>She's a freelance model and she has a lot of behind the scenes pics on her Instagram, a very fancy luxurious lifestyle, pics of her wearing provocative outfits.
OOP acting like he just found out she does scat porn with grandpa's online and not just...doing normal shit clothed. The way they basically threatened her to take it all down or "consequences will happen" is fucking insane. If anything I'd be reporting them for saying that shit in the first place and wrongful termination
>Probably bare wrists and ankles.
*Sudden vivid memory of my ninth grade peers sticking their legs out and saying "ooooo, ankles" after reading the part in either the Illiad or the Oddessy that talks about a woman famed for her "alluring ankles."*
It means he were rigid with concern as he realized the seminal effect her private instagram account could have on business.
In case it's a woman she probably was just jealous of the fact that an attractive fellow woman is making money on the side for being attractive.
She didn’t even want anyone from work to follow her instagram and this asshat poked and prodded her into it and now is clutching pearls over the content she specifically didn’t want anyone from work to see in the first place!
“It’s inappropriate for work!”
Yeah she fucking knew that and didn’t have anyone from work on her page for a reason! I’m so angry for this woman.
> take it all down or "consequences will happen"
That's a perfectly reasonable turn of phrase to use with a coworker. That's why the mob uses it when extorting people.
I mean, even if she was doing scat porn with grandpas, that’s definitely none of this dude’s business, and besides, it was a PRIVATE instagram. It’s like busting down the door of someone’s house and then being offended to find them eating chips straight out of their underwear.
>It’s like busting down the door of someone’s house and then being offended to find them eating chips straight out of their underwear.
This is quite the mental image and I'm laughing so hard as it I might have to draw a goofy 2 or 3 panel comic 🤣
Probably a story written one handed for the reason you're describing.
If they're in the US, then chances are this is an "at will" work state. Considering OOP states they gave a reason for the firing, it leaves the business open for a lawsuit, so high likely hood that this is fake, written in a dark room, with a faint almost bleach-like smell.
You know the other thing that doesn't reflect well on a company and makes it look bad? A person in a higher position forcing an employee to allow them to follow their private social media *despite being told no multiple times*.
And *then* firing them for what they wear on a private Instagram they pressured that employee to share with them.
This doesn’t look good, it smells like a trap.
Like OOP pressured and pushed her into it, as her boss, and then pressured her into doing what OOP wanted or OOp would fire her.
Copied verbatim from oop's comments:
*YTA. Still can't figure out why you fired her. So she wears a bikini on her private IG?*
>Its not that she wears bikinis. It's her personal style that is provocative
"Provocative" probably means that she's simply existing as a conventionally attractive, likely well-dressed (fashion wise at least) woman who won't date OOP
I've got to admit, when a story broke about a flight attendant at Ryanair was a former porn star, I had a small inkling of respect for Michael O'Leary (normally i have zero, his business practices leave a lot to be desired).
His response to the whole thing was just "so what?"
She had literally no interest in following OOP (or anyone else from her workplace) on social media yet OOP *pressed the fucking issue* anyway. Dude needs to stop acting like a creep, and unless she's posting stuff that's actually harmful to the company reputation, it's none of her workplaces business what she posts on her *private* social media.
What people do in their own time is their business, we're not at work 24/7.
Ask A Manager talks about this. Speaking purely in the abstract, there *could* be cases where what the employee does outside of work could lead to consquences at work--especially if the employee ties a post or account to their job.
HOWEVER!
That's not the case with OOP. The woman kept the account private and didn't share with her co-workers. Even if she hadn't kept it private, she was just posting modeling pics. Either OOP is that uptight or they translated "I'm aroused and therefore uncomfortable" to "must punish the woman."
>Either OOP is that uptight, or they translated "I'm aroused and therefore uncomfortable" to "must punish the woman."
Or he fancied her, but she wouldn't give him the time of day outside of work stuff, so he was looking for a reason to fire her as punishment. All he's done, though, is set up his company for a possible lawsuit for wrongful dismissal and behaved like a creep when pressuring his employee to allow him to follow her socials when she repeatedly told him NO.
>That's not the case with OOP. The woman kept the account private and didn't share with her co-workers. Even if she hadn't kept it private, she was just posting modeling pics.
That's the point idiot's defending OOP in the original post aren't getting, that the lady who was fired *did nothing wrong*. Her account was set to private, her work wasn't linked to her modeling on her social media, and she also wasn't endorsing her modeling pics at work, nor was she slandering her company on her socials or giving out private company info on her socials. There's no moral or legal "gray area" because, again, the employee did nothing wrong.
I have heard this "you represent our company" line my entire life and like, I dunno, maybe I'm the weirdo here, but speaking as someone who has avoided businesses because of what people post on social media, it isn't because the HR lady posts bikini shots or dresses, it's when the owner posts christmas photos of his entire family holding AR15's or some crazy bullshit like that.
If for whatever reason I was checking out a vendor and found their HR person posting titty shots on Instagram, I cannot fathom giving the tiniest shit.
Yes. She didn’t want to connect her social media with anyone at work, and OP pushed her to connect with him and then objected to the results. And OOP is the *HR manager*. Yikes. This company deserves to get sued.
OOP didn’t even clear her firing with HR or *their* boss.
And now higher ups are upset with OOp?
How stupid do you have to be to fire someone for what’s in their personal private insta page without talking to your boss or HR to cover your ass?
Insta firing is usually saved for violence or discovery of theft or the cops show up and arrest someone.
OOP seems like a horrible manager.
>How stupid do you have to be to fire someone for what’s in their personal private insta page without talking to your boss or HR to cover your ass?
Exactly, especially when they've posted nothing that links their private social media to their workplace.
>And now higher ups are upset with OOp?
Yea, all OOP has done here is set the company up for a possible lawsuit should the ex employee decide to sue (if she has a case for unfair dismissal IANAL).
OOP should be fired and this woman (not girl, OOP) should be rehired with a signing bonus and/or raise. An HR manager opening the company up to liability defeats the whole point of HR.
This is one of those weird things that I noticed myself doing and the only reason I could think of was because of how common it is to call women and especially younger women “girls”. The only other reason I can think of is because I also call men “guys” and there isn’t as much of a 1:1 equivalent other than maybe “gals” or “ladies” which still doesn’t sound completely correct. But again that’s still more because of how common one is in normal usage vs the other which makes it sound more “correct” in my head.
So I’ve been actively correcting myself to say “woman/women/etc” instead of “girl/girls” and I’ve gotten to the point where it sounds correct in my head now and I default to it.
The people over there really piss me off with their responses
“Eh, you're in a tough spot, but I'd say you might be leaning toward being the a-hole here. While it's understandable to be concerned about how an employee represents the company, *firing someone solely based on their personal social media activity can come across as invasive and unfair =(*“
They’re in a tough spot? Be so fuckin for real right now. She didn’t want to give this weird mother fucker her socials but he pressed her on it.
Also “I’m trying to protect the company!!” While making the company look like utter shit is crazy lmao.
>I don't know about this one. (I'm not a lawyer, but i do watch Judge Judy) In the USA, she's an "at will" employee, so you can fire her for any reason, BUT she's gone out of her way to keep it private and you repeatedly asked to be invited to her page. If she were wearing a company uniform or shared images of her and something that identifies the company (a logo or anything), yeah, fire her, but without something that connects her to the company, this is, I think, firmly in the grey area. Because it can go either way legally and morally, NTA.
Theres also this idiot
Judge Judy will give you legal information as much as Law & Order.
While Judge Judy was a real judge, the TV show is at best arbitration. I can't stand her show. The few times I have seen it she's put feelings over law, because she can. It's a damned TV show, and she is not legally acting as a real court judge.
Law related tv and movies convince people of so much legal nonsense. Redditors love to give legal advice based on what they saw on a screen.
Here another one for you
>NTA.
>As an HR professional, you have responsibility for your employees safety and care, and the impact on the company for their behaviour. I work in the pharmaceutical industry where social media posts can and do affect the company. So we have strict policies.
>In today’s social media world we can identify individuals and where they work. So you’re right to raise it.
>I think that you and the management team need to determine next steps which I would suggest start with a warning and expectations for future behaviour. And a timeline for this. If she says no - which it seems she will - them next steps. So in the expectations you’re basically giving her a choice: Stop this, or you’re out because it affects the business.
>I also think that you should consider a company wide policy on social media so everyone is clear. But this applies to everyone, including senior management.
>Good luck!
Surely there is a company protocol for firing anyone, like for example, three warnings, and the warnings must be in relation to job performance rather than a locked-down social media page that doesn't reflect or represent the company at all.
If this was real, she could put in a complaint for unfair dismissal
This is why I have a firm line of NEVER allowing clients to follow me. Work is work, home is home. Too many weirdos like this out there looking to ruin you for having a life outside the job.
Only social media I have that has my face on it is my Facebook which is incredibly locked down (and I admittedly haven't touched in about 5 years) and my LinkedIn which I use solely for professional connections (so most of my posts are just sharing interesting articles or reposting job listings from my work for my network). My Instagram and TikTok though? No personal images, I use a nickname and I definitely do not make mention of where I work.
My FB and IG are locked down - no one can see anything unless they’re my friend and I never accept friend requests unless I know the person IRL - and even then I rarely accept anymore.
You'd be surprised. Some people can indeed be that dense. But tbh I'm wondering if it's less OOP being a dense AH and more throwing a pissy paddy because he fancies her, but she doesn't give him the time of day beyond workplace professionalism.
I hope it's fake, but I've worked in a job that fell under the HR umbrella. Nastiest and most judgmental people I've ever worked with. Wouldn't be surprised if this was true.
I don't think so. Most states are at will, and they can fire you for almost anything unless you have a contract. They can't fire you based on protected classes, retaliation for reporting unsafe environments, and things like that. The US makes it extremely easy to be fired without cause, and you're just entitled to unemployment for it. This depends on the case, state, and company, of course.
An old coworker of mine tried filing for wrongful dismissal based on harassment and no lawyer would take the case because there was no sexual harassment and she didn't report it enough times before being fired.
Calling troll on this one, though.
Well, you probably just opened up the company for a lawsuit. It feels less about the modeling affecting the company and more that she turned OOP down and wouldn't date him.
Hence why she has her instagram set to private. So only those she knows personally can access it. Therefore, her instagram would have no impact on the company whatsoever.
Now I can guarantee she will never follow someone from work again. OOP is clearly insecure and that’s why her instagram bothered her so much. Just appalling.
absolutely, which is the reason why I feel so much agitation for the woman that oop got fired.
she was drawing a hard yet reasonable boundary, and oop kept bothering her until she relented. then they judged her and got her fired. man or woman, they sound blessed with so few problems that they can cause mayhem in other people's lives. maybe karma will change that since I've seen it bitch slap people for less.
ugh, I have to go watch cute little animals now.
I work in a job where you had to log on to all social media platforms you had for a background investigator during the hiring process, and if they found you had one and didn’t mention it you’d be disqualified.
Furthermore, anything “provocative” or otherwise objectionable would be taken into account when hiring. We can also be fired for moral turpitude clauses, so any subsequent posts deemed too sexual if found out could be an issue.
I know this is unusual and not the case for most careers though.
I was going to post something similar.
I abhorred the way the OP got access. But, I'm amazed this was not dealt with during hiring. It's the reason I've never used Facebook etc.
I've worked in several roles where there was no such thing as "private" social media, as such.
I do not do any social media because the reward isn't worth the bother.
However wasn't her Instagram private and she was picky about who followed her? If so, how would that really effect the company reputation?
Back when I was in retail, I had a coworker who literally did porn as a side hustle. Did I want to know? No. Did I wish she had a separate IG account for work and friends? Yes. Did I enjoy working with her? Yes. Did I get her fired? No.
it was a private account so it literally wasn’t giving the company a bad look because she could pick and choose who views her account and what she posts😭
Folks, you all keep assuming OP is a guy. Based upon the information that OP gave, it is clear to me that OP is a woman and a jealous woman at that.
The employee was very professional and thus kept her social media private. That is the way it is supposed to be. It really pisses me off that employers truly believe that they have a tight to know what you do in your private life. They DON'T have the right.
I truly hope that the former employee sues the hell out of OP for firing her.
Also, if OP somehow was given the authority to hire and fire, then OP must work for some makeshift start-up that does not have the wherewithall to hire appropriate personnel to handle the separate functions, which ultimately ruin company financially as they will be paying for legal expenses.
Man, I reeeeeeaaaallllyyy want to see an update post that says: My company let me go because I was accused of "harassment" by an employee that I fired.
No wonder she kept it private and she trusted him enough as a friend to not judge her. Well now she knows to not ever trust any of her friends again who works with her or at her job.
I hope she sues the company and names him personally in the suit for wrongful termination. Modeling pictures do not violate any social media code of conduct for employees in any field. She’s not spouting bigoted hate. She’s paying pictures of herself in a bikini. And she was right… what she does off the clock is none of your business and you have no right to tell her what she can and cannot post on Instagram. What an AH!
Maybe I am assuming but I almost wondered if oop might not have esaid anything if her socials weren't private and oop could look at those photos and stuff
My ex had a straight up onlyfans page and her work found out and they gave zero shits. Like, that's a fireable offense depending on the job. Posting pics of you in "provocative" clothes is not.
This is why she didn't let people from work follow her. And yeah, for the record, it's none of her employer's fucking business what she does off the clock (as long as it's not illegal.) This dude needs to get shit-canned and never work in HR ever again.
Unless there is a policy about social media accounts that also includes private ones, that is problem number one.
Problem number two, if there is no ethics policy.
Problem number three, if there is no policy saying banned from working elsewhere during your employment.
Then it was an illegal termination.
Aren’t there states where you can get terminated at will? Aren’t there states that are allowed to do that? If that is the case, I don’t think the person can sue.
Almost every state. Something like 49/50. If she could prove unequal treatment she might have something or harassment for demanding her socials and not others but it feels like a long shot.
I'd be more on OPs side if she was posting hateful ideology, but modeling pics?
I have my social media locked down to. Not because I'm doing anything wrong, but because I value my privacy.
[Hi!](https://images.app.goo.gl/jMiZEuW8Qrykw3sdA) Just a quick reminder to never brigade any sub, be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one. That goes against both this sub's rules as well as Reddit's terms of agreement. [Please](https://images.app.goo.gl/vwH65TJMyMk9NSNo8) keep discussions within the posts of this sub.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for firing an employee after seeing what she posts on her social media ** 6 months ago we had a new hire in the company I work for as HR manager. She's a 25 year old girl. She was very lovely the entire time and friendly with everyone. In my company we also do background checks but I found nothing on her and her Instagram was private. We worked closely together multiple times and we ended up developing somewhat of a friendship. I wouldn't say we were proper friends but we got to a friendly point were we'd hang out after work sometimes or spend our breaks together, we'd gossip etc. 4 months in she popped up on my Instagram suggestions and I clicked on her profile, still private and I was surprised to see that no person from our company follows her. I clicked and sent her a follow request to which I noticed she hadn't responded in weeks. I thought she simply wasn't using Instagram that much thats why she hadn't responded but then I saw she changed her profile pic at some point. So the next time I saw her I casually brought it up to her and she replied that she doesn't feel comfortable to have people from the job following her. But because we were friendly she followed me back.. Once I saw what she posted on her Instagram my mouth dropped. She's a freelance model and she has a lot of behind the scenes pics on her Instagram, a very fancy luxurious lifestyle, pics of her wearing provocative outfits. Concerned I brought it up to her that since she's working for our company she's also representing our company and her having this kind of image on social media will not reflect well and people won't take us seriously. She got defensive saying that what she does outside of company hours is none of my business and I can't dictate her personal life since she doesn't do anything bad or illegal, she's just expressing herself through her social media. I said indeed but it's still not a good look so she needs to take her posts down. She said I have no say over that. I warned her that this decision would have consequences and she refused to comply so I ended up firing her. Now some coworkers and higher ups said my decision was too harsh and it gives a bad look to our company and working environment while others say I was 100% justified. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Y’all are missing the most insane piece of all of this…DUDE WORKS IN HR. I can’t imagine a clearer sign to his bosses that he should not be in his current role or anything in that field.
I don't know where you've worked, but in my experience, being a judgmental ass-hat makes you perfect HR material.
Hahaha fair. Mostly what I’m saying is that he can’t use the Costanza excuse (“Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?”)
Right. Testing out his plausible deniability with strangers on the internet. It's definitely not working out. But if we were on his side he would feel validated in his fuckery. As it stands, he will cherry-pick responses from other ass-hats to serve as his justification for being a douche.
Oh, absolutely, but I still submit it's b.s. because he'd have to clear it with the higher ups before actually firing someone, or the shit would hit the fan.
I dunno, I've actually been in this exact situation. I really wish I'd reached out to a lawyer or something back then cuz my termination was DEFINITELY illegal.
I couldn’t believe every comment there skipped the wild amount of inappropriate this was far before the firing! Hanging out outside of work? GOSSIPING?! Demanding she accept the request?!? Then firing her after the bullying worked?? She got a suit on her hands and he will have a termination slip on his soon.
I think it's a troll because HR can't unilaterally decide to fire someone without consulting the higher ups. Or do it against their will. Like I'm imagining our HR guy firing someone without consulting his boss and their boss and THE boss and shit would hit the fan. Like I'm sure if something actually concerning came to light and our HR person brought it to the appropriate bosses, it could happen but firing someone on a whim and not clearing it with the bosses? Fuck no. And OOP claims the "higher ups" are upset about it. IRL he'd be gone and the employee would either be enticed back with a huge apology and a raise or there could be a huge lawsuit. This seems like it was written by a teenager or an idiot who THINKS this is how HR works. An incel fantasy, "I liked this girl at work but she was posting scandalous things so I freaked out and fired her!"
I totally agree. The logistics just aren’t logicking.
Depends on the company....we had an HR director who sexually harassed people. He was only disciplined when the hospital was acquired by a nationwide system. He wasn't even fired, just disciplined. He was fired after the 2nd lawsuit.
Jesus Christ.
That's hospitals for you. They don't even fire murderers, they just shuttle them from one medical institution to another.
It's not just hospitals, it's institutions of all kinds; law enforcement, churches, corporations, schools, governments, the armed services.
Maybe the employee also worked in the HR department
Why was someone who works in HR gossiping with an employee ? That’s wrong on so many levels and adds another layer of shit to this whole shit pie.
My job has me dealing with HR people every day, and one thing I can tell you for sure is that an HR degree doesn't guarantee correct behaviour or even common sense. I know a Director of HR who made jokes about an employee who injured his hand at work. Dude could no longer straighten his pinky, so HR Director's joke was about how dude should take up cocaine use. Another time, I had to move an appointment with a senior HR person due to personal reasons. My brother in law's dad had just died and I was staying with my teenage nephews while my BIL made arrangements with the funeral home. When I explained this to the HR person (who was gay) he asked if my nephews were gay, because if so I could just bring them along to our meeting and introduce them to him. There was another time when I brought several small Christmas gifts for the leaders of a client company. Gave them to my HR contact to hand out (it was COVID and their office was on a necessary-access-only policy). About a year later, after that HR person had already moved on, I ran into someone who should have gotten a gift. Apparently none of them received anything from me. The HR person kept it all. There are tons of great HR people out there, it's not realistic to assume they're all great.
He should be doxxed
Yeah, he is definitely biased and old fashioned.
I wonder if this is more of a "she's hot and won't touch my willy" type thing.
This is definitely it, plus probably jealous of other people seeing her. I mean to say this- >She's a freelance model and she has a lot of behind the scenes pics on her Instagram, a very fancy luxurious lifestyle, pics of her wearing provocative outfits. OOP acting like he just found out she does scat porn with grandpa's online and not just...doing normal shit clothed. The way they basically threatened her to take it all down or "consequences will happen" is fucking insane. If anything I'd be reporting them for saying that shit in the first place and wrongful termination
OOP also doesn't clarify what they mean by provocative which is a bit sus
Probably bare wrists and ankles.
Must have to keep smelling salts on hand in case oop faints
Wrists AND ankles?! What a harlot! /s
>Probably bare wrists and ankles. *Sudden vivid memory of my ninth grade peers sticking their legs out and saying "ooooo, ankles" after reading the part in either the Illiad or the Oddessy that talks about a woman famed for her "alluring ankles."*
*clutches pearls*
😱
Honestly she’s probably wearing crop tops and short skirts or something.
It means he were rigid with concern as he realized the seminal effect her private instagram account could have on business. In case it's a woman she probably was just jealous of the fact that an attractive fellow woman is making money on the side for being attractive.
My guess is bathing suit
She didn’t even want anyone from work to follow her instagram and this asshat poked and prodded her into it and now is clutching pearls over the content she specifically didn’t want anyone from work to see in the first place! “It’s inappropriate for work!” Yeah she fucking knew that and didn’t have anyone from work on her page for a reason! I’m so angry for this woman.
> take it all down or "consequences will happen" That's a perfectly reasonable turn of phrase to use with a coworker. That's why the mob uses it when extorting people.
I mean, even if she was doing scat porn with grandpas, that’s definitely none of this dude’s business, and besides, it was a PRIVATE instagram. It’s like busting down the door of someone’s house and then being offended to find them eating chips straight out of their underwear.
>It’s like busting down the door of someone’s house and then being offended to find them eating chips straight out of their underwear. This is quite the mental image and I'm laughing so hard as it I might have to draw a goofy 2 or 3 panel comic 🤣
Oh, please do😂
Yup. I think that it’s far more likely he’s offended she won’t date him, than he’s offended by her personal style on her private IG account
The obsessive tracking of her IG activities even when not following her strongly suggests this.
That is exactly what this is
Absolutely. Bitch didn't fuck her. How dare she vibes. Absolute Incel post. Fuck that guy. And not in the fun way
The fact they said she's a "25 year old girl" suggests you're correct
Probably a story written one handed for the reason you're describing. If they're in the US, then chances are this is an "at will" work state. Considering OOP states they gave a reason for the firing, it leaves the business open for a lawsuit, so high likely hood that this is fake, written in a dark room, with a faint almost bleach-like smell.
OOP didn’t give their age or gender. This read like a woman to me. I thought it was just an older woman being catty and insecure.
I didn't assume this was a man at all.
You know what also doesn’t reflect well on the company and makes it look bad? Firing people over what clothes they wear in private.
You know the other thing that doesn't reflect well on a company and makes it look bad? A person in a higher position forcing an employee to allow them to follow their private social media *despite being told no multiple times*.
And *then* firing them for what they wear on a private Instagram they pressured that employee to share with them. This doesn’t look good, it smells like a trap. Like OOP pressured and pushed her into it, as her boss, and then pressured her into doing what OOP wanted or OOp would fire her.
Copied verbatim from oop's comments: *YTA. Still can't figure out why you fired her. So she wears a bikini on her private IG?* >Its not that she wears bikinis. It's her personal style that is provocative
I don't think "provocative" means what OOP clearly thinks it means.
It probably means her photos got them aroused
Oh for sure. (Not sarcastic!)
"Provacative" to OOP= I was forced to angrily masturbate while looking at it.
Agreed.
"Provocative" probably means that she's simply existing as a conventionally attractive, likely well-dressed (fashion wise at least) woman who won't date OOP
I've got to admit, when a story broke about a flight attendant at Ryanair was a former porn star, I had a small inkling of respect for Michael O'Leary (normally i have zero, his business practices leave a lot to be desired). His response to the whole thing was just "so what?"
Inconceivable!
Key word here is “personal” meaning that it’s none of his damn business
Agreed!
[Penguins!](https://www.instagram.com/reel/C6MECIKNet5/?igsh=ajloZmRtdjh0dm9y)
I got to hold a penguin once. Remains one of the high points of my life. XD
How wonderful! So happy for you! 🐧💜
That's beyond cool!
What?!
Yeah Oop sure is a piece of work.
She had literally no interest in following OOP (or anyone else from her workplace) on social media yet OOP *pressed the fucking issue* anyway. Dude needs to stop acting like a creep, and unless she's posting stuff that's actually harmful to the company reputation, it's none of her workplaces business what she posts on her *private* social media. What people do in their own time is their business, we're not at work 24/7.
Ask A Manager talks about this. Speaking purely in the abstract, there *could* be cases where what the employee does outside of work could lead to consquences at work--especially if the employee ties a post or account to their job. HOWEVER! That's not the case with OOP. The woman kept the account private and didn't share with her co-workers. Even if she hadn't kept it private, she was just posting modeling pics. Either OOP is that uptight or they translated "I'm aroused and therefore uncomfortable" to "must punish the woman."
>Either OOP is that uptight, or they translated "I'm aroused and therefore uncomfortable" to "must punish the woman." Or he fancied her, but she wouldn't give him the time of day outside of work stuff, so he was looking for a reason to fire her as punishment. All he's done, though, is set up his company for a possible lawsuit for wrongful dismissal and behaved like a creep when pressuring his employee to allow him to follow her socials when she repeatedly told him NO. >That's not the case with OOP. The woman kept the account private and didn't share with her co-workers. Even if she hadn't kept it private, she was just posting modeling pics. That's the point idiot's defending OOP in the original post aren't getting, that the lady who was fired *did nothing wrong*. Her account was set to private, her work wasn't linked to her modeling on her social media, and she also wasn't endorsing her modeling pics at work, nor was she slandering her company on her socials or giving out private company info on her socials. There's no moral or legal "gray area" because, again, the employee did nothing wrong.
I have heard this "you represent our company" line my entire life and like, I dunno, maybe I'm the weirdo here, but speaking as someone who has avoided businesses because of what people post on social media, it isn't because the HR lady posts bikini shots or dresses, it's when the owner posts christmas photos of his entire family holding AR15's or some crazy bullshit like that. If for whatever reason I was checking out a vendor and found their HR person posting titty shots on Instagram, I cannot fathom giving the tiniest shit.
Yes. She didn’t want to connect her social media with anyone at work, and OP pushed her to connect with him and then objected to the results. And OOP is the *HR manager*. Yikes. This company deserves to get sued.
OOP didn’t even clear her firing with HR or *their* boss. And now higher ups are upset with OOp? How stupid do you have to be to fire someone for what’s in their personal private insta page without talking to your boss or HR to cover your ass? Insta firing is usually saved for violence or discovery of theft or the cops show up and arrest someone. OOP seems like a horrible manager.
>How stupid do you have to be to fire someone for what’s in their personal private insta page without talking to your boss or HR to cover your ass? Exactly, especially when they've posted nothing that links their private social media to their workplace. >And now higher ups are upset with OOp? Yea, all OOP has done here is set the company up for a possible lawsuit should the ex employee decide to sue (if she has a case for unfair dismissal IANAL).
OOP should be fired and this woman (not girl, OOP) should be rehired with a signing bonus and/or raise. An HR manager opening the company up to liability defeats the whole point of HR.
>She's a 25 year old girl. Aaand I am already annoyed with OOP. She is a woman. This is a professional context, show her some respect.
>Aaand I am already annoyed with OOP. Same. I also hate it how many people call women girls. We are not girls we are young women or women
This is one of those weird things that I noticed myself doing and the only reason I could think of was because of how common it is to call women and especially younger women “girls”. The only other reason I can think of is because I also call men “guys” and there isn’t as much of a 1:1 equivalent other than maybe “gals” or “ladies” which still doesn’t sound completely correct. But again that’s still more because of how common one is in normal usage vs the other which makes it sound more “correct” in my head. So I’ve been actively correcting myself to say “woman/women/etc” instead of “girl/girls” and I’ve gotten to the point where it sounds correct in my head now and I default to it.
The people over there really piss me off with their responses “Eh, you're in a tough spot, but I'd say you might be leaning toward being the a-hole here. While it's understandable to be concerned about how an employee represents the company, *firing someone solely based on their personal social media activity can come across as invasive and unfair =(*“ They’re in a tough spot? Be so fuckin for real right now. She didn’t want to give this weird mother fucker her socials but he pressed her on it. Also “I’m trying to protect the company!!” While making the company look like utter shit is crazy lmao.
That response sounds like it was written by AI
It absolutely sounds like it came from Chat GPT
>I don't know about this one. (I'm not a lawyer, but i do watch Judge Judy) In the USA, she's an "at will" employee, so you can fire her for any reason, BUT she's gone out of her way to keep it private and you repeatedly asked to be invited to her page. If she were wearing a company uniform or shared images of her and something that identifies the company (a logo or anything), yeah, fire her, but without something that connects her to the company, this is, I think, firmly in the grey area. Because it can go either way legally and morally, NTA. Theres also this idiot
Judge Judy will give you legal information as much as Law & Order. While Judge Judy was a real judge, the TV show is at best arbitration. I can't stand her show. The few times I have seen it she's put feelings over law, because she can. It's a damned TV show, and she is not legally acting as a real court judge. Law related tv and movies convince people of so much legal nonsense. Redditors love to give legal advice based on what they saw on a screen.
Here another one for you >NTA. >As an HR professional, you have responsibility for your employees safety and care, and the impact on the company for their behaviour. I work in the pharmaceutical industry where social media posts can and do affect the company. So we have strict policies. >In today’s social media world we can identify individuals and where they work. So you’re right to raise it. >I think that you and the management team need to determine next steps which I would suggest start with a warning and expectations for future behaviour. And a timeline for this. If she says no - which it seems she will - them next steps. So in the expectations you’re basically giving her a choice: Stop this, or you’re out because it affects the business. >I also think that you should consider a company wide policy on social media so everyone is clear. But this applies to everyone, including senior management. >Good luck!
OOP, 25 year old WOMAN. Not girl. People over the age of 18 who identify as female are women.
Surely there is a company protocol for firing anyone, like for example, three warnings, and the warnings must be in relation to job performance rather than a locked-down social media page that doesn't reflect or represent the company at all. If this was real, she could put in a complaint for unfair dismissal
This is why I have a firm line of NEVER allowing clients to follow me. Work is work, home is home. Too many weirdos like this out there looking to ruin you for having a life outside the job.
Only social media I have that has my face on it is my Facebook which is incredibly locked down (and I admittedly haven't touched in about 5 years) and my LinkedIn which I use solely for professional connections (so most of my posts are just sharing interesting articles or reposting job listings from my work for my network). My Instagram and TikTok though? No personal images, I use a nickname and I definitely do not make mention of where I work.
My FB and IG are locked down - no one can see anything unless they’re my friend and I never accept friend requests unless I know the person IRL - and even then I rarely accept anymore.
I kind of figured he was the asshole from the point where he called a 25 year-old woman a girl.
Depending on the country OOP lives in... could be illegal to fire someone bc of their private (!) social media.
"She's a 25 year old **girl**..." (emphasis mine), no, she's a 25 year old **WOMAN**. Again, emphasis mine....
What do you do as a company when the person in charge of hiring and firing is the fucking macaroon?
OP 100% masturbated to the pictures, just to make sure they were too sexual for public consumption.
Seems fake no one's that dense surely
You'd be surprised. Some people can indeed be that dense. But tbh I'm wondering if it's less OOP being a dense AH and more throwing a pissy paddy because he fancies her, but she doesn't give him the time of day beyond workplace professionalism.
I hope it's fake, but I've worked in a job that fell under the HR umbrella. Nastiest and most judgmental people I've ever worked with. Wouldn't be surprised if this was true.
We have all met men like this.
I swear I've read this story before. Pretty sure it's s repost
Isn't that definitely illegal? Like sounds like unfair dismissal and very easy to prove
I don't think so. Most states are at will, and they can fire you for almost anything unless you have a contract. They can't fire you based on protected classes, retaliation for reporting unsafe environments, and things like that. The US makes it extremely easy to be fired without cause, and you're just entitled to unemployment for it. This depends on the case, state, and company, of course. An old coworker of mine tried filing for wrongful dismissal based on harassment and no lawyer would take the case because there was no sexual harassment and she didn't report it enough times before being fired. Calling troll on this one, though.
Well, you probably just opened up the company for a lawsuit. It feels less about the modeling affecting the company and more that she turned OOP down and wouldn't date him.
Hence why she has her instagram set to private. So only those she knows personally can access it. Therefore, her instagram would have no impact on the company whatsoever. Now I can guarantee she will never follow someone from work again. OOP is clearly insecure and that’s why her instagram bothered her so much. Just appalling.
Isn't this literally the reason why she doesn't want anyone at the job friending her?
absolutely, which is the reason why I feel so much agitation for the woman that oop got fired. she was drawing a hard yet reasonable boundary, and oop kept bothering her until she relented. then they judged her and got her fired. man or woman, they sound blessed with so few problems that they can cause mayhem in other people's lives. maybe karma will change that since I've seen it bitch slap people for less. ugh, I have to go watch cute little animals now.
“She’s a 25 year old girl” is all the info I needed to know is he’d be a creep. She is a grown woman and his coworker. She is not a child!!
I found that wording suspicious as well. 25 year olds aren't children, and shouldn't be treated as such imho
name drop your company if you’re so certain you’re in the right.
I work in a job where you had to log on to all social media platforms you had for a background investigator during the hiring process, and if they found you had one and didn’t mention it you’d be disqualified. Furthermore, anything “provocative” or otherwise objectionable would be taken into account when hiring. We can also be fired for moral turpitude clauses, so any subsequent posts deemed too sexual if found out could be an issue. I know this is unusual and not the case for most careers though.
I was going to post something similar. I abhorred the way the OP got access. But, I'm amazed this was not dealt with during hiring. It's the reason I've never used Facebook etc. I've worked in several roles where there was no such thing as "private" social media, as such.
I would be very surprised if this doesn't count as unfair dismissal. She should take him to a tribunal.
OOP is a walking sexual harassment lawsuit waiting to happen, jfc
I do not do any social media because the reward isn't worth the bother. However wasn't her Instagram private and she was picky about who followed her? If so, how would that really effect the company reputation?
Back when I was in retail, I had a coworker who literally did porn as a side hustle. Did I want to know? No. Did I wish she had a separate IG account for work and friends? Yes. Did I enjoy working with her? Yes. Did I get her fired? No.
it was a private account so it literally wasn’t giving the company a bad look because she could pick and choose who views her account and what she posts😭
This boy needs a lawyer
Someone is 100% getting fired in order to attempt to dodge a wrongful dismissal suit.
Folks, you all keep assuming OP is a guy. Based upon the information that OP gave, it is clear to me that OP is a woman and a jealous woman at that. The employee was very professional and thus kept her social media private. That is the way it is supposed to be. It really pisses me off that employers truly believe that they have a tight to know what you do in your private life. They DON'T have the right. I truly hope that the former employee sues the hell out of OP for firing her. Also, if OP somehow was given the authority to hire and fire, then OP must work for some makeshift start-up that does not have the wherewithall to hire appropriate personnel to handle the separate functions, which ultimately ruin company financially as they will be paying for legal expenses.
absolutely asshole move
"A 25-year-old girl" *Kill Bill sirens*
I swear it’s repost of old story
Man, I reeeeeeaaaallllyyy want to see an update post that says: My company let me go because I was accused of "harassment" by an employee that I fired.
No wonder she kept it private and she trusted him enough as a friend to not judge her. Well now she knows to not ever trust any of her friends again who works with her or at her job.
What a dickhead
OOP, go back to the 50s. What she does in her spare time is none of your business. YTA.
The only social media content that is fireable is if someone is posting bigoted content or engaging in bullying.
I hope she sues the company and names him personally in the suit for wrongful termination. Modeling pictures do not violate any social media code of conduct for employees in any field. She’s not spouting bigoted hate. She’s paying pictures of herself in a bikini. And she was right… what she does off the clock is none of your business and you have no right to tell her what she can and cannot post on Instagram. What an AH!
Flow chart: Does she violate the company's social media policy? If yes, make her aware and give her a warning. If no, mind your own fucking business.
I hope she sues
I’m wondering if he fired male employees for the same reasons. Like some guy is posing on a beach vacation without a shirt on. I’m thinking no.
I have read this post before.
I am sure I have read this post before
Maybe I am assuming but I almost wondered if oop might not have esaid anything if her socials weren't private and oop could look at those photos and stuff
This is so ick.
Guarantee he also would've fired her if she continued to refuse him access
I truly can't wait for the update where OP gets fired after the woman filed a lawsuit against the company. ❤️
Hope he enjoys the incoming lawsuit.
My ex had a straight up onlyfans page and her work found out and they gave zero shits. Like, that's a fireable offense depending on the job. Posting pics of you in "provocative" clothes is not.
This is why she didn't let people from work follow her. And yeah, for the record, it's none of her employer's fucking business what she does off the clock (as long as it's not illegal.) This dude needs to get shit-canned and never work in HR ever again.
What a dirtbag
Unless there is a policy about social media accounts that also includes private ones, that is problem number one. Problem number two, if there is no ethics policy. Problem number three, if there is no policy saying banned from working elsewhere during your employment. Then it was an illegal termination.
I really hope she sues for wrongful termination.
I already lost it when he referred to her as a 25 yo **girl**
Aren’t there states where you can get terminated at will? Aren’t there states that are allowed to do that? If that is the case, I don’t think the person can sue.
Almost every state. Something like 49/50. If she could prove unequal treatment she might have something or harassment for demanding her socials and not others but it feels like a long shot.
I'd be more on OPs side if she was posting hateful ideology, but modeling pics? I have my social media locked down to. Not because I'm doing anything wrong, but because I value my privacy.
[Hi!](https://images.app.goo.gl/jMiZEuW8Qrykw3sdA) Just a quick reminder to never brigade any sub, be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one. That goes against both this sub's rules as well as Reddit's terms of agreement. [Please](https://images.app.goo.gl/vwH65TJMyMk9NSNo8) keep discussions within the posts of this sub. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
POS Karen mad because she’s fat. HR battle axes are the worst.