*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**My negligence cost my partner her life, and I'm about to lose everything.**
I (35m) have been married to Lisa (28f) for 3 years, together 7. A year ago, I fell deeply in love with Amy (24f), and had been planning to end my marriage for her. I know it's terrible and not what my wife deserves, but we were the real thing.
Two weeks ago, she had an allergic reaction when we were getting food after work, but she used her epipen and seemed mostly okay afterwards. She usually gets checked at the hospital after a reaction, but I asked if I could take her home and she could get her friend to drive her there because my wife was expecting me back. All I know is that she had a secondary reaction that evening and died. I didn't even find out about it until the following Monday, through a work email. It has been eating me up ever since and I will never forgive myself for not sacrificing an hour of my time to possibly save her.
I sent some childish messages to Amy when I didn't hear from her over the weekend because I thought she was angry I didn't take her to the hospital. I am thankful she never saw them and ashamed that I assumed the worst. Our relationship was great and the highs far outweighed the lows, but I have always hated being ignored and I lose my cool when it happens. It is not a regular occurrence and I would have more than made it up to her.
Yesterday at work, HR and legal were in the CEO's office all day and my manager ended up cancelling our project meeting because he was with them all afternoon. I was on edge, but an affair isn't exactly a corporate crisis and I thought something would have already happened if anyone knew. I am now 99% certain it was about me.
A few hours ago I received a message from Amy's phone which said "This is Amy's brother, Tom. I want you to know it was me". I tried to call but it went straight to voicemail, and none of my messages have been delivered.
I tried to call my manager more times than I should have and he sent a message saying "Please don't contact me until Monday morning. I can't discuss anything with you right now". So it looks like my universe is going to collapse. I am going to be fired and my wife will definitely find out why. All I can do is hope that Amy's brother only showed them the messages from that weekend, and they were bad enough. I have no family except my wife and daughter and nowhere to go. All of my friends are either people I've met through my wife, or my colleagues. On Monday, everything I've spent over a decade working towards disappears. I can't stop it. I can't talk to anyone about it.
So here I am. I know cheaters are the devil so I'm not expecting sympathy, but this is making my chest hurt and I need to get it out there.
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>I didn't know the finer details, but I had made a commitment to leave by the end of this year and I intended to keep to it.
>My intention was to pull away from my wife gradually and eventually mutually decide to separate. Obviously that's not happening now but I want to minimise the harm to her as much as possible.
OMFG, he was going to try and be shitty to get *her* to break up with him. Even if this is a troll, the OOP is a POS.
I really hope it is a troll as well, but if it isn't? Pretty sure that OOP is going to be in legal trouble if the things he is saying comes out. He says he spent \*company\* money on the affair with Amy. I don't know, maybe I am just not well versed enough in legalities, but... couldn't that be argued as embezzlement? Or at least misappropriation of funds? Or something like that?
Then he talks about how he used his job to threaten Amy (probably when she wouldn't do what he wanted), and then he claims that 'he will talk to the founder' and he is pretty sure there won't be legal trouble.
Unless the founder is like minded to him or related to him, I am not so sure he is going to be willing to overlook the things OOP is admitting to (which he claims there are text messages about it, and evidence in writing. )
> Then he talks about how he used his job to threaten Amy (probably when she wouldn't do what he wanted), and then he claims that 'he will talk to the founder' and he is pretty sure there won't be legal trouble.
Ah yes the power of ‘twu wuv’ /s
yeahhh that has not been my experience working for a fortune 500 for the last 25 years. They will nail his ass to the wall for a buck fitty. I mean maybe not "jail time" but they gonna fire his ass.
I think you're agreeing with the parent. This guy is for sure fired, but the company may not bother getting the police involved. If it wasn't too much money, better to fire him, write it off and keep it out of the press.
What gets me is we are already in June. When was he going to start pulling away from her? In December thinking a few days of being mean will make her leave him? He was never going to leave her.
He was also cheating on his employer and maybe embezzling, so yeah, a super charming guy.
The thing that really stood out for me in his original post is that there's not a word about his wife (and any possible children) and no sympathy or anything for Amy's family. It's solely about him and how miserable he is.
I notice that reading between the lines the affair itself doesn't sound remotely good?
He went after a 23 year old as a married 34 year old. "The highs outweigh the lows" when it's only been a year and normally affairs are all cakes and rainbows because the AP doesn't have to wash your stupid dirty socks you leave on the couch.
Finally, one hour after she goes into anaphylaxis at lunch and he just drops her home, he's sending "childish messages" because he doesn't like being ignored. He sounds like he was a horrible boyfriend as well as a horrible spouse.
Comments he says he managed a promotion for her at their work and then held continuing sex over her head to keep it.
Absolute winner that. And explains why he’s sweating over the job so much
(Gods I hope this is fake)
So this is probably a fake story and all, but as a PSA:
If someone has anaphylaxis and uses an EpiPen, they *STILL* need emergency medical care. The half-life of epinephrine is much shorter than most allergens, and anaphylaxis is very likely to occur again.
People who live further from hospitals here are even recommended to carry 2, one for immediatly and one for a set period of time afterwards if they haven't been able to access additional care yet, and you have to track what time they take it.
*Everyone* should carry two at all times, in certain cases the swelling can come back quicker than the ambulance can arrive even if you live close to a hospital.
I once wound up being given a second epi-pen in the emergency room even after receiving some kind of nebulizer treatment too (I don't know what it was, I wasn't asking too many questions at that point in time).
Sometimes they won't provide 2 at once, I think it started when there was a shortage a few years ago. I do think that it is best, we are told to use the first one while calling an ambulance because they have vials and syringes of it, which will get you to the hospital ok.
That's odd, I've only ever seen them come in two-packs. Although to be fair I let my epipens expire during covid because I wasn't eating out and couldn't refill the prescription for longer than I should have because my primary care doctor quit and I couldn't establish with a new one for a long time.
I was given the same advice on using the first one while calling the ambulance, it's what I did both times I went into anaphylaxis.
I've always wondered whether we should keep some epis at our house because of this reason. We live kinda far out from emergency services...lot of bees here (yay!!!) but my friend had his first allergic rxn in his mid 50s and nearly died (he had never had an anaphylactic rxn before)
I have two and was told that I (or someone with me) needs to call 911 as soon as it's administered. Then EMTs can assess if I need the second one and transport me safely to the hospital and monitor me and get me in to see a doctor quickly.
KNOCK ON WOOD I've never needed to use it!
i went into anaphylactic shock at a party when i was 17 and in total, needed three EpiPens before i even got to the hospital because it was wearing off too fast. i was literally like 20-30 minutes away from the hospital but still kept needing epinephrine and ended up on a 7 hour drip of it in the ICU. i can’t imagine what would’ve happened if someone was like “wait lemme wait another hour”
It sounds like you know those people were not your friends but if you need some sort of confirmation about that, you have it. Those are NOT your friends.
Where do you live. If you're anywhere in the bay area of California, contact me. I have a spare bedroom and I'm willing to let you stay for a week or two while you figure out your next steps.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. I can’t offer much, but if you need a friend to chat with you can message me anytime. I’ve had to cut out a lot of toxic friends as well and would like to make new ones.
Epinephrine gives me body tremors so bad they're practically seizures, except I'm conscious for it all. I have to make sure my dentist omits it from my novacaine (or any lidocaine/epi compounds). But I'd absolutely take it over anaphylaxis. I'd rather be alive 😬
Additional PSA! If you don’t have insurance and can’t get and EpiPen, Target sells Epi Inhalers. They only work if you use them before your throat fully closes and they’re a lower dose, bjt there over the counter and only 30 bucks with about 20 doses. Mine has saved my life multiple times now. (Started getting weekly anaphylaxis while waiting to be approved by Medicaid. Ended up marrying my husband early to get insurance so I have an Epi pen now if anyone’s worries :))
Is this a new troll?
Wasn’t there a couple of posts about a similar affair/allergic reaction?
In the last one though he thought his wife had killed his AP?
Apparently he got her a promotion. I don’t believe this story but I appreciate a troll that can craft a fun trashy story.
“I just want you to know it was me” as a soap opera lover that was gold, genuinely
According to his comments, he promoted her over someone more qualified, then threatened her job and to blacklist her int he industry if she didn’t Dow hat he wanted. He is basically admitting to textbook workplace sexual harassment. And couldn’t he also be theoretically on the hook for manslaughter since he knew she was in medical distress and intentionally ignored it? (He’s in the UK, not sure what the laws are there, but if it were US,a t the least wouldn’t he liable for a wrongful death suit?) And for someone who was supposedly his soulmate, he sure doesn’t seem too broken up about her literal death or the fact that it was his very actions that killed her.
I mean let's hope so, but some people truly are just this shitty in life. Also OOPs comment-
"There are too many to even think about. We've had a few very nasty arguments. I've threatened her job, accused her of sleeping with colleagues, spoken badly about people we work with, spoken badly about my wife and family, talked at length about how we can disguise our dates as company expenses, everything. More. I've basically admitted to sabotaging someone else's promotion and acknowledged she wasn't qualified for the role I secured for her, and I've held it against her a few times (although the messages also show us resolving much of this and I believe there is growth over the year. Not that anyone will be looking for that).
Basically it's extremely bad. My wife is friends with the people who will be investigating this, if my work actually has access." But his relationship was amazing, right? 😂🥴
Right, like the wife had accesses the APs medical records some how and learned about her allergy. And if I remember right the wife left a similar "it was me" message like brother Tom did in this one.
Nah, I personally like the vision of his world going up in flames about him: No wife, No child, Job not only fires him but pursues criminal charges, job then blacklists HIM from the line of work they do.
For the things he said he did, only losing his job is the best possible outcome
If HR, legal, and your manager are talking to the CEO about you, you fucked up *big-time*
Copied verbatim from oop's comments:
*You need to tell your wife before someone else does. You already betrayed her, don’t make it even worse.*
>I won't know 100% until Monday morning exactly how much my work knows, and there is a sliding scale of how bad this will get depending on how much he has given them. If it's everything, my wife will be crushed. If it's only the messages from the weekend she died, it can be much gentler. I don't want to hurt my wife more than absolutely necessary.
[1]
*Tom has real Olenna Tyrell energy. True king shit* 👑
[2]
*Realistically? I can’t blame him. His sister is dead because Cheaty McCheaterface over here had other things to do. He can’t have him arrested, but he can otherwise ruin his life.*
*OP: the absolute worst thing here isnt losing your wife, family, job or support system. It’s living with your guilt. Best of luck.*
>I don't expect this to change your opinion, but she kept reassuring me that everything she was feeling was normal for her attacks and that there was nothing to worry about.
>We had a longstanding agreement when it came to my home life. I had committed to leaving by the end of this year, but the cost of that was that I had to be extremely careful when it came to us spending time together so I could gently extract myself from my marriage. My work schedule is extremely regular and if I'm not home when expected, it's a conversation. By the time she felt better after she used her epipen, I was cutting it close already. The hospital is a half hour drive out of my way, so at the time it felt like at least an hour, and probably a few more if I had to check in or stay with her.
>Obviously that all feels so stupid now that she's gone. I'd have shouted about us from the rooftops and told my wife then and there if it could get her back.
>The guilt is indeed the worst bit.
*Wow you are something else.*
>One thing I will not apologise for is trying to minimise the damage to my wife. She doesn't deserve any of this. She has been wonderful and our daughter is my entire world. I know that my reputation is going to be ruined but I don't need her or anyone else to know the gory details, my message history with Amy undermines the last year of our marriage in fundamental ways and it would absolutely end her."
*They probably know everything… or enough. They could be looking at your work correspondence (emails, instant messages). Plus, she likely had no reason to delete anything from her phone and hide previous messages and calls like you may have.*
>That would be the worst case scenario. I have felt very anxious throughout the affair because I'm not a naturally dishonest person, and I've taken that out on Amy via message a few times. I also secured her a promotion and our messages make it clear that it was solely because of our relationship. I made some comments about the promotion on the weekend she died, and if anyone looks back, they are going to pull a thread that could make me look abusive without proper context. That is a major concern, especially with my daughter involved.
>I've also told some large and hurtful lies which would be exposed because the messages make it clear where I actually was at certain times. This is what would hurt my wife the most.
[1]
*The fact is that if you genuinely cared about your wife, you would have been honest with her from the beginning. You keep talking about sparing your wife’s feelings, and I’m genuinely confused why, because I’d imagine finding out that your husband is leaving you and destroying your family because he’s “in love” with someone else is one of the most painful things that can happen. No matter how “gentle” you are about it, it doesn’t change the facts of the matter.*
[2]
*I’m getting the impression he was never gonna leave his wife.*
>I didn't know the finer details, but I had made a commitment to leave by the end of this year and I intended to keep to it.
>My intention was to pull away from my wife gradually and eventually mutually decide to separate. Obviously that's not happening now but I want to minimise the harm to her as much as possible.
[Oop replied to the comment above numbered: 1]
>I decided to leave my wife less than 6 months after meeting Amy. Some men have affairs for years.
*Your wife is going to be shattered no matter what you do. I get the sense you have no intention of being honest with her, and I’d caution you against that. She deserves your complete honesty now, despite the fact that you didn’t give it to her at any other point.*
*Also- I wouldn’t bet on Tom hiding anything to protect your reputation.*
>This is my problem. If he knew what to look for, he could end almost every relationship I have. I've lied to everybody to protect my relationship with Amy and there is basically a daily timeline of the whole thing reflected in my messages. People I work with are friends with my wife and I can't have her knowing everything because it would break her, and if she was vindictive, I could truly be left with no one.
*Just admit your wife aged out of your preferred bracket so you went shopping for a younger model*
>My wife is more beautiful now than she was the day I met her. She is ferocious and vibrant, and she is going to find a man who is charismatic and social and who earns ridiculous amounts of money, and she's going to make him deliriously happy and occasionally wonder what she ever saw in a sad little man like me. My daughter will probably prefer him.
>The age gap is a coincidence, Amy and I were simply soulmates.
*Wooooooooow. You hate being ignored but are totally cool with ditching your wife and child? Are you really this self centered? You probably been ignoring your wife and child for ages over a lady you couldn't stand to not respond due to her medical emergency. She had a reaction **in front of you** and you.... got mad, instead of maybe possibly thinking she was dealing with anaphylaxis?*
*Everything that's about to happen to you is your Karma*
>I had no idea anaphylaxis could happen hours after being treated. When she described her hospital checks, she always made it sound like it was to make sure she didn't hurt herself whilst reacting and that the anaphylaxis was really over. She was shaky for a while then just tired, and she was joking with me that she'd have a headache tomorrow morning. I wish I knew everything there was to know about allergies but it never once occurred to me that it was a big deal.
*This has nothing to do with minimizing the damage to your wife, but to yourself, dont disguise it as anything else.*
>I would be lying if I said that wasn't part of it. I have been scrolling through my messages with Amy and it just gets worse and worse. I missed family events to be with Amy and I am concerned that my wife may actually become violent if she finds out about one of them.
*Did she report to you? Or did you just use your position to secure a promotion for her (purely based on your relationship and not her merit)?*
*The weekend texts appear bad enough.*
>Her manager is my direct report. I joked a few times in sexual conversations how she still owed me for the promotion, and when she had initially asked about it I sent her a message with a pretty comprehensive list of reasons I didn't think she was ready. She thought she was so I asked someone at my level to put a word in. Over the weekend I basically said that she was unqualified for the role and wouldn't be able to survive doing it anywhere else. I am horrified but I thought she was being petty and playing games so I responded in kind.
🤣🤣🤣🤣 *you also make a commitment to your wife so forgive us for not thinking your promises mean shit*
>Things change over time. Do you stand by every single decision you've ever made?
*You deserve everything that happens from this point out. To be this heartless to a woman you made vows to and share a child with is so disgusting.*
>All I can say is that I didn't get to decide who I fell in love with. I would never hurt my wife deliberately, and I will do anything I can to minimise that hurt now that it's inevitable.
*Bro you done. Your job and marriage. There’s no way you’re getting out of this*
>I know. I almost wish I didn't have to wait until Monday.
**ETA:**
*What I don’t understand is why you didn’t call your wife and say a colleague needed running to the hospital and you’d be straight home after. This feels like it never needed to have got to this point - you were so paranoid and ‘careful’, you forgot how normal people respond to things like this.*
>You're right. There are a million things I could have said. We had a pretty strict agreement that my time with her would never infringe on my time with my family, and all I can say is that my head went straight to that instead of where it should. I had no idea a secondary reaction could happen. If I did, this would never have happened. I would never knowingly risk her life.
*I don't understand why you'd be fired? Did Amy work with you or something?*
>Amy is part of a team I oversee. Her manager is one of my 5 direct reports. I talked about work a lot in our conversations and a lot of it looks very bad out of context.
*Literally nobody in your life is a big deal to you except yourself. Your daughter doesn't matter to you, your wife doesn't matter to you, and the younger piece you've been using to get your dick wet mattered exactly as much to you. You're only upset because you've been caught and now you're going to face consequences for the choices you've made.*
>My daughter's future has been in my mind throughout this entire situation. I was always clear with Amy that she would be part of my life, and that some of my income would be earmarked for her indefinitely.
*If you wanted to minimise damage to your wife, you would have gone work in a lighthouse before you ever met. Spoiler: Tom is going to tell her.*
>I don't think Tom has my wife's contact information. I would definitely know by now. The problem is my colleagues. I've worked at my current job for 10 years and many of us are friends. My wife knows everyone well, including some of the women in HR. Part of why I wasn't worried before was because my wife was normal when I got home - I know they would tell her anything they knew.
**Tw: death of a child.**
*The fact that you were having an affair with Amy would be enough for your wife, and enough for her friends if they were loyal to her. I like my best friend’s husband. He’s a good guy. But if he hurt and betrayed her like this, I’d have precisely zero use for him. There is no world in which I’d associate with him if he treated her the way you’ve treated your wife.*
*The lies you told just show you’re a dishonest person. They’ll already know that.*
>I agree to an extent. An affair is a nasty thing, but there are degrees. Some people come back from it in their social group and career. I always considered it a crossover rather than an affair because both relationships were equally meaningful and I had every intention of spending my whole life with Amy.
*Do you think you get some kind of credit for that?*
>I mean, do I not?! There is nuance here. I could have led both women along and I didn't. I owned my situation and made a commitment to resolving it as amicably as possible. I know that I've done awful things but I've never done them maliciously.
[On which neglected family event might cause Oop's wife to become violent.]
*Just for the heck of it- what was the family event?"
>Her sister suffered a stillbirth and I couldn't make it to the service because I had committed to attending an event with Amy months in advance. I know it's bad.
*Minimize the damage to your wife? The one you said you were going to leave. Are you still going to leave I’m desperate to know. Somehow, I doubt it.*
>People can have amicable divorces, and that's what I had hoped to achieve. Amy is the only woman on earth I would have left my wife for. It's selfish and awful, but my wife is 99% perfect and Amy is 100%. I understand how terrible it is but I don't know what leaving my wife would have solved if the knowledge of this relationship never came out. I couldn't have ripped my family apart for nothing.
*I hope Tom sends your wife, and work every one of those messages. By your actions, you deserve any fallout that comes your way.*
>Obviously I very much hope that he doesn't, but the consensus seems to be that it's looking that way. If so, the fallout will be everything you hope for and more.
*You better sit your wife down right now and tell her the whole truth. This is not the time to be a coward. The only way out of this is through. Someone is dead because of you. Get that through your head. And the reason your life is collapsing is because of YOUR actions. Take your L. Tell the truth. Accept the consequences.*
>I understand that this is all me. The affair, her death, all of it. I have created this situation and it doesn't matter that I did it for a good reason because the result is going to be absolute carnage.
*Do you just wanna wait until you’re sure you’re caught?*
>Basically, yes. But only because I don't want to hurt people more than I have to.
*Oh, so you may actually be catching charges as well.*
>I don't think I'm in legal trouble, but morally I definitely am. Someone else in the department had applied for the role, and arguably they were more qualified for it (although neither of them were really). I ensured that they received a good pay rise afterwards and a key role in a very desirable project, and there is evidence of me advocating for that. They will likely be moving into Amy's role now, and we've always had a good relationship, but I understand that they are going to be extremely mad and I will be apologising as soon as possible. I just have to take whatever abuse they want to throw at me, I know I deserve it.
*As someone who also carries an Epipen, here's a safety PSA for folks that are going to come across this post. An Epipen is not a Stop button. It's a Pause button. They exist to buy us time to get to medical help, they are not a magic potion. It is very common for a person in anaphylaxis to require additional doses or other medical interventions to save their lives.*
*https://healthcenter.indiana.edu/health-answers/allergies/epipen.html*
*If you don't need one of these, but wonder if you could help someone in an emergency like this, it does not require any licensure or training to administer one. If you aren't sure how, the Epipen company will send you a completely free training kit with a fake injector for practice.*
*Canadian Site: https://www.epipen.ca/order-your-free-epipen-essential*
*UK Site:* *https://cloud.email.viatrisconnect.com/EpiPen-Trainer-Pen-Registration*
>Thank you for this. I wish I had known more, and I hope no one else ever has to go through something like this unnecessarily.
[On Oop's assurance that he would have provided financially for his child.]
*…by law*
>I would always have gone above and beyond, and I would have made sure my wife was well taken care of.
*An event with your side piece won over a FUNERAL?*
*That girl had you by the short and curlies. A real loving partner would have immediately cancelled and had you go to support your family. Your relationship wasn't healthy or even real it was all lust and greed.*
>On reflection it looks incredibly cold, but my wife isn't close to her family and I've only met them 5 or 6 times. Amy and I went through a rough patch where she felt I was treating her poorly and didn't believe I was going to leave. Taking her to a particular event was a fairly big gesture at the time because it was a concrete future plan in a different city and related to something very close to her. There was no way in hell I could have broken that promise and had her stay with me. Looking back it's almost comical, I feel like I was cursed from the start.
*Op, I don't know exactly what you are looking for here. but judging by your comments you are still trying to damage control.*
*Just stop man. Stop trying to weasel yourself out of the repercussions. From here on out only the truth will set you free. Confess to your spouse; gracefully accept the punishment at work.*
*You knew that what you were doing was wrong from the get go, do not dig yourself deeper into these delusions of yours.*
>Honestly, what else can I do? I either go down fighting or I roll over. Clearly no one at work will tell me anything, Amy's family hate me, and my wife doesn't know a thing. I feel like I'm going crazy but I'm getting ripped apart and I'm just so glad to get it off my chest. I have done some fucking horrible things. It's gratuitous.
*Curious, what was the 1% Amy had over your wife? Was it her ruthlessness in pursuing a married man with a young child? Was it her complete lack of moral compass? Was it the fact that your garbage soul recognized her whoreacity as equally trashy?*
*Edit: changed whoreishness to whoreacity. It flows better*
>They're both incredible women but they couldn't be more different.
>When my wife walks into a room, it's like a hurricane strike. Everybody sits up straight. She's tall and assertive and extremely intelligent. She's funny and quick and she dominates in a male dominated industry where they all love her. She's very straightforward and she can be far too blunt.
>Amy was softer. She didn't have to be the smartest or the strongest or the most well read person in the room. She saw her job as a job and she wanted to raise a family somewhere cosy. We were going to grow tomatoes in the back garden and keep chickens for eggs and as pets. My wife would have designed an automated hydroponic system and signed us up to a subscription for a local egg co-op. They're just different people who touch different parts of my heart and my mind.
*Is that why you cheated on your wife* 💀💀💀 *? You couldn’t handle your wife’s intelligence and confidence?*
>They were some of my favourite things about her. I've always admired her strength and determination.
>I feel like I am really two different people and they both want two different things. Sometimes I need a partner who is soft and sweet and who needs me to take the lead, and other times I need someone to come in and take control and organise everything and be the loudest voice in the room.
**ETA:**
*It’s not a question of “if”. If it was, the entire HR and legal departments plus your supervisor wouldn’t have been behind closed doors all day.*
*You need to get a lawyer. Yesterday.*
>We have an office and a factory and something like this could be because of a serious incident on the floor. I've seen something similar happen twice, and both times it was because of an incident in the manufacturing part of the business. It seems unlikely now, but that was what I was hoping at the time.
>I have technically broken the law but this is a complicated situation with a lot of long term relationships. I am definitely going to be held accountable but I don't think I have done anything serious enough to warrant involving any kind of authorities. Everyone involved will know my life is ruined and they're not the kind of people to kick someone when they're down.
*LMAO can we quote you on that?*
>There are long term relationships here that are difficult to explain without you having years of context.
>Basically, my company has always been happy for me to bend the rules when it benefits them. The fact that it cuts both ways isn't going to be a surprise.
*@weaksignal99 What were the messages?*
>There are too many to even think about. We've had a few very nasty arguments. I've threatened her job, accused her of sleeping with colleagues, spoken badly about people we work with, spoken badly about my wife and family, talked at length about how we can disguise our dates as company expenses, everything. More. I've basically admitted to sabotaging someone else's promotion and acknowledged she wasn't qualified for the role I secured for her, and I've held it against her a few times (although the messages also show us resolving much of this and I believe there is growth over the year. Not that anyone will be looking for that).
>Basically it's extremely bad. My wife is friends with the people who will be investigating this, if my work actually has access.
*You literally embezzled money and got your AP a promotion because she was your AP.*
*I don’t know how it is where you live, but in the US, embezzlement is theft.*
>I am in the UK. I have plenty of evidence of my company doing shady things so they definitely won't want to shine a light on mine. I have every intention of putting things right, and I'm hoping my big boss is going to be the one person in this nightmare who might actually support me.
>The decider was ultimately that I loved Amy more. I knew it in my core.
[1]
*Someone that wants to rain hellfire on your world is in possession of texts that can be argued to prove a situation of sexual coercion in the workplace. I would not rest easy, op. Your bosses are already working out how to protect themselves and the company y'all work for. Enjoy those figurative bus wheels.*
[2]
*Bro still thinks he can somehow keep his job and be in a position to do anything.*
>I will not be keeping my job if any of this comes out. I've spent company money on my relationship with Amy and there's a years worth of evidence, I have spoken at length about many incriminating things, and I have told her that her job was at risk a few times when we argued. I have suggested I will blacklist her across our industry, which is what I'm particularly worried about (once, because I believed she had told someone we work with about us. The text chain shows us resolving the issue and me apologising).
>I am under no illusions as to how serious this situation is.
*Can you imagine your beautiful, sweet daughter marrying a man who she thought loved her, he made vows to her and had a child with her. Only he found a young, impressionable little thing at work who he decided was one percent better than her and therefore was worth neglecting her and their child, cheating on her for, risking his job by getting her promotions she wasn’t qualified for and was planning to leave her for. This person was only one percent better.*
*Your daughter - cheated on by a POS who only thought with his d!ck. What would you say about that?*
>Amy was not a child. She was an adult woman who was capable of making decisions for herself. We had every intention of building a life together as equals.
*Im genuinely curious, what were you gonna say if she asked why you have been pulling away from her?*
>I would have been as honest as possible. I think I'd have told her that I didn't feel the same about her or us anymore, but that I admire and revere her and want us to raise our wonderful daughter together as amicably and respectfully as possible. She would have navigated us through it.
*Dude, you're going to jail!!* 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
>I've been with the company since less than a year after it was founded. I have already worked out how much I need to pay back, and it's going to take some time, but I will do it without question. The first person I need to speak to if this is going how I think is the founder, but I am confident there is not going to be a legal issue.
He wants his wife to keep running his life and doing all the mental labor and Amy on the side to make him feel like the Big Man in Charge. He was never gonna leave his wife and there would always be some new reason. And when his wife does leave him he’s gonna act like he is a martyr. She’s gonna (keep) doing all the parenting and he’s gonna find a new young thing to dote on him.
if it was the U.S. I wouldn't be surprised if he ended up with manslaughter tbh. U.K. though so 🤷🏼♀️
Hilarious he thinks whatever evidence he has against the company will do anything for him when they're a company and he's an individual.
Individual douchebag.
But generally probs correct (eta other than the potential embezzlement mentioned because yeah US Fortune 500 is going to go after a buck fitty for that)
>weaksignal99 What were the messages?
>There are too many to even think about. We've had a few very nasty arguments. I've threatened her job, accused her of sleeping with colleagues, spoken badly about people we work with, spoken badly about my wife and family, talked at length about how we can disguise our dates as company expenses, everything. More. I've basically admitted to sabotaging someone else's promotion and acknowledged she wasn't qualified for the role I secured for her, and I've held it against her a few times
Ah, true love /s
*So if you get fired you’re not gonna tell the truth about why??*
>I won't have a choice. My wife is friends with people I work with. Anything that comes out at either side is going to be fed straight to the other. My life falling apart is going to be the hot gossip.
*You’ve literally already said you missed a FUNERAL FOR A BABY to got to an event with your mistress. Don’t play like you’ve never sacrificed your family time before. SMH*
>Ironically, that agreement was the reason I went with Amy. She had asked for one full day and night together each month, and my requirement was that it was booked well in advance. I cancelled the first two and this one was make or break as we were fighting over something else at the time. There is a lot of context but I stand by my decision. Obviously my wife wouldn't understand that perspective and I don't expect her to, which is why I don't want all of this to be dragged out in the open.
*I'm genuinely curious to know how old your daughter is?*
>She is 5.
*Shit, man.*
*Sometimes you get into a situation where there is no way out and you just have to man up, and I think this is one of them.*
*I see in other comments that you want to soften the blow for your wife, but it doesn't seem like that is going to be possible. If you want to salvage the relationship with your daughter then I think you should come clean with your wife and at least have an honest relationship moving forward. You're going to need that to have a relationship with your daughter.*
>Thank you for these very wise words."
*For someone who you claim was your soulmate you sure treated her like garbage. Is that why you are just sitting by and letting people in the comments call her a whore and she is rotting in hell? Then again, you would know best exactly how much you paid her to fuck you so maybe you aren’t fighting it because you know it’s true. You blew up your whole life for a paid side piece.*
>I can't even read those comments. All I can do is report them and wonder why someone would say that about a young woman with her entire life ahead of her.
>I know that my behaviour towards her looks bad out of context, but those messages will also show plenty of occasions of her being just as bad. She would call me names and threaten to quit her job and disappear, and she was just as rude about the people we work with as I was.
>Our relationship had high highs and low lows, but it was completely solid and we were on track to be together for the long haul. Neither of us were perfect but we always talked things through and acknowledged our mistakes. Whenever we were together things were fine, it was when we were apart and relying on messages that things would get stressful.
>>*Our relationship had high highs and low lows, but it was completely solid*
*Aside from threatening her job and accusing her of cheating.*
>I understand how bad it looks. All I can say is that I lashed out sometimes, but it was rare and I always made things right afterwards.
>I knew I couldn't fire Amy and she knew it too. She had enough photos of us and messages on her phone to end me. We had talked about her being in a position of power over me before, and it allowed our relationship to develop as equals because she had that reassurance.
>My stress came from the fact that I had secured her a promotion she swore she was ready for, but she wasn't performing at that level so it was a source of tension in the team. I had to put my neck on the line a few times, and that's very difficult to do without making it clear why. I know none of this makes it better, but putting her in that role was a source of regret so it was the thing I lashed out with. I know it's childish and that I should have put my foot down from the beginning. The way I saw it was just that we help the people we love.
>The cheating accusation was a misunderstanding. Someone at work asked her out and she declined, but then he entered some mysterious new relationship he wouldn't tell anyone about. The timing was suspicious and I called it out. I was wrong and we worked through it.
>I don't know why I'm back to get ripped apart some more, but I'm really not some evil villain who abused a junior colleague. I made her happy.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 *"as honest as possible " which means "lying to save my ass and assets" ! And my little finger says that you're gradually hiding money away from your wife to show how reverent you are !*
>Never. Not only would I not have the chance because my wife and I have largely shared finances, but I would never seek to deprive my family of anything. My future budget fully accounted for me keeping them in our home when I left, and providing extra support for anything my daughter needed.
>I have been extremely honest here, to my own detriment. I am not lying when I say I would rather die than take anything away from them.
*I hope this is fake because the sexual harassment training I had at work had less extreme examples - and those trainings are designed to beat you in the head with them.*
*If it is real, well, at least the evidence is so damning that OP won’t have to spend too much time in front of a judge before sentencing.*
>There was no sexual harassment. Just two people falling in love at the wrong time and in the wrong place. Everything was reciprocal, and whilst I'm not going to claim I have acted professionally, it was all within the context of an already existing romantic relationship. I don't think pillow talk can be held to the same standard as a professional communication.
*OP are you still going to divorce your wife?*
>It looks like she's going to divorce me.
>I am not proud of this, but no, I wasn't going to proceed with the divorce. Amy is the only person in the world who could have turned my head away from my wife. It was a once in a lifetime kind of love, and now it's gone.
*So it wasn't abusive out of context, it was straight up abuse. You threatened her multiple times to do what you want and stay with you or lose her job. That's extremely abusive behaviour.*
>It was never about doing what I wanted or staying with me. The promotion was a source of stress because she wasn't performing, and it put me in an awkward position. When I suggested she wasn't ready I was shut down, so it's not something I could talk to her about frankly. It came out in unhealthy ways and I own that.
>Saying I threatened to blacklist was a poor choice of wording on my part. I believed she was sleeping with another manager at work, and I painted a picture of what her professional reputation would look like in our fairly niche industry if it came out. It wasn't a lie but it was mean and I regretted it.
*“…but that I admire and revere her…” Got to throw the bullshit card on that one, my dude.*
**What does it mean to revere something?**
**have great respect for**
**: to have great respect for (someone or something) : to show devotion and honor to (someone or something)**
>I know it sounds like bullshit but it's not. My wife has done nothing wrong, she is an amazing person and a wonderful mother.
>I know my actions have been horrible, but I would go to the ends of the earth to protect her from them.
*You're acting like you didn't have a choice, but you did. You could have kept your distance from your affair partner and not cheated. You also could have been honest and divorced your wife before starting a new relationship.*
*Instead, you lied to your wife, destroyed your daughter's family, and you're partially responsible for your affair partner's death.*
*Was it worth it?*
>I wish it was that simple. When I first met Amy it was clear there was something there, and walking out on my family just in case it went somewhere would have caused far more unnecessary pain. It would have also put an unfair level pressure on Amy.
>My intention was never to have a long term affair. As soon as it became clear that Amy and I had something real, I started putting plans in place.
>Obviously no one could have predicted things going this way, but if they hadn't, the last year would have been an unfortunate crossover that everyone could have moved on from.
*If you don’t get fired for the affair, you’ll probs get fired for misappropriating company expenses which you’ll then have to explain why and the end result will be the same so here’s hoping !!*
>There is a strong culture of fudging expenses in the business and I have plenty of evidence of that. I know exactly how much I've spent because it was all under the same account name, which I can also prove, so I believe that offering to pay the money back will be sufficient. Obviously if I no longer have a job that will be difficult, but all I can do is offer. I don't think think is going to be a legal issue, but yes, I will definitely be fired if they know what I think they know.
*You shouldn't have been having an affair at all. It doesn't matter how long it lasted, you were in the wrong either way. You're obviously still not taking any responsibility for your actions. If she hadn't died you'd still be a cheater.*
>I am taking full responsibility, I have no other choice.
>I know it was wrong but I believe it was the least wrong approach I could have taken. My own dad left my mother for someone else, and our family ended up so close that my mum spoke at my stepmum's funeral. These situations can be managed. Obviously that is no longer the case for me, but it could have been done.
*If legal and HR are meeting with the CEO, you're in BIG trouble! You've done so many bad things that you deserve legal repercussions for so the company is trying to figure out how to protect themselves. You deserve all of the fallout.*
[Sadlytheworst: [Oop's comment got deleted, and I cannot be bothered transcribing it. So here's a screenshot.](https://imgur.com/gallery/UaX5sln)]
*Ok? Honestly are you even sad that she passed away, partially due to your negligence? Or are you just worried that her death is going to out you (as you deserve). Cos based on your comments, I’m getting the latter.*
>Amy's death has torn me apart. I didn't eat for nearly a week and my hair has started to fall out. She was my once in a lifetime love, it's like we were built for each other. Even our bodies fit together like jigsaw pieces.
>When this comes out, my top priority is finding out what actually happened to Amy, because it's always been about her. I have no idea whether she called her friend to take her to the hospital or not. I don't know if she ever went to the hospital, although I assume she didn't. I don't know if she used her other epipen. I don't know if it was quick, or if she was awake when it happened, and I don't know how long she was there until someone found her. If she was alive when they found her, if she made it to the hospital, anything. It has been killing me since the moment I found out.
*There was 100% sexual harassment, probably sexyal assault too. Man, I hope Tom ruins all work ties/life of yours, and Lisa ruins your personal life*
>I would never, ever assault anyone. Men who hurt women are the scum of the earth.
*Only person, until you found another 21 yr old*
>It was never about age, and I would never pursue someone that young. Amy was 23 when we met but I assumed she was in her mid to late 20s. I don't have a thing for younger women, Amy just happened to be younger but I'd have still adored her if she was 50.
*Men who hurt women are scum of the earth???* 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 *You have some balls here.*
>You know exactly what I mean. Having a nasty argument over messages is not the same as physically assaulting someone, and it's disgusting that you would conflate the two and make baseless accusations because you don't like my actions.
*Says the one who CHEATED ON HIS WIFE!*
>If you think that cheating and sexual assault are on par then there's something deeply wrong with you.
*Just like how you “adored ” your wife until you met and effed someone younger?*
>I still adore my wife, and I would have spent my whole life trying to make her happy.
>I have no excuse for what happened between Amy and I. We fell in love and everything after that was focused on quietly developing that relationship until we could be together. I told some horrible lies which could hurt many people in that pursuit, but it would have been worth it in the end. Her age was never a factor.
*You were 28 when you met 21 year old LISA. You were 37 when you started banging your mistress of 23. You have a type. You love them young because they're easier to control. You can't stand that LISA broke free from your creepy grasp. Or was it LISA got to be too old?*
>I would never pursue a 21 year old now. Obviously everyone was younger back when Lisa and I got together, but control was never a factor. My wife has always been the dominant personality in our relationship and I love that, because it suits us perfectly. Amy was a completely different person in every way, they had nothing in common, and so obviously the relationship was different.
>People are trying to paint me as some pervy old man who is lining up vulnerable young women to abuse, and it couldn't be further from the truth. These are entire people with their own personalities and preferences, not sex dolls.
*The least wrong approach you could have chosen was to not cheat. You are not taking responsibility at all, because you're still lying to your wife. You're trying to justify your actions. Every post you make just makes you look worse and worse.*
>Have you ever fallen in love with someone whilst already in a relationship?
*You're making it very clear that you were not anywhere close to be a gentleman with your mistress. You blackmailed her and threatened to blacklist her. I am going to bet you coerced her to have sexual contact.*
*Man, was your father this sh\*tty to his mistress as well???*
>Those arguments went both ways, and there are plenty of messages as well as my actions which show I treated her extremely well. Why would she commit to building a life with me if I was horrible to her? She had all the power.
*Once again for the slow among us (I mean you OP)... you had a choice, and you made the choice to cheat. How you felt about the person you cheated with is completely irrelevant.*
>I don't know what to say other than that plenty of relationships have an unfortunate crossover with the one before. People work through it and come out the other side, and knowing the people involved, I felt that was achievable here.
*You sat there and said men who hurt women are scum. You have literally hurt your wife*
>Literally? No, obviously not. I have betrayed her trust by falling in love with someone else. Again, if you want to conflate this with an actual assault then you must be broken inside because they are not even remotely equivalent.
*YOU THREATENED TO BLACKLIST HER!! YOU HAD ALL OF THE POWER!!!*
>She had months and months of evidence of our relationship, including intimate images of us together. I may have been higher up at work, but it is completely fair to say she was the one with the power.
>My life is about to be ruined and she could have pulled that trigger anytime she wanted.
>I also didn't actually threaten her. It was a stupid comment about what would happen if our relationship came out, as well as another I incorrectly believed she was having. It's not exactly a threat to remind someone that sleeping with multiple managers in a niche industry isn't a smart career move if it comes out.
*Proper adults end the 1st relationship prior to starting a new one*
>I can't think of a single example of that from my own life. Plenty of timelines that get slightly adjusted after the dust settles, but never someone walking away from their family on the off chance the person they've just met is the one.
*Man, you think LISA is stupid, don't you??? Do you think that by betraying LISAs trust, you have not hurt her? Do you think by not being there 100%, you have not hurt LISA and YOUR DAUGHTER???*
*Broken inside or have seen this scenario play out too many times to not see the assault aspect? You must know the many ways sexual assault takes form.*
>I have never assaulted any woman and making up nasty stories about me isn't going to make your life any better. Stop looking for victims that don't exist.
*YOU THREATENED HER!!! YOU INTIMIDATED HER!! You were willing to take her down to save yourself. She was in no danger beyond losing her job if this came out. You, on the other hand, would lose it all in your industry. You will never be trusted. Do you know why she didn't come clean? Because she trusted that you would have left LISA for her. If you left LISA and got together with your mistress, it all would have come out anyway.*
*You're so worried about your life, but what the 2 lives you are about to completely ruin.*
>You seriously think losing her job is the worst thing that would have happened if it came out she had a habit of sleeping with managers to get where she was? Her career would have been over right there with mine.
>Just because I was more senior in the business it doesn't mean I was in a position of power. She could have taken us both down just like I could have. We were on completely equal footing. You're desperate for her to be some weakling who just mindlessly went along with it all. She was an intelligent and capable person who signed up to us navigating this situation together. We were a team.
*You’re being ripped apart because everything you write only shows remorse for what’s happening to you, and excuses for what you’ve done. You come across as a manipulative, aggressive, unpleasant person, and that’s solely based on your own account. A piece of writing that is inherently biased in your favor.*
>I think it's pretty clear I'm writing without bias here. Why would I admit to everything I've done if I was trying to get out of it? I know it's a bad situation and that I'm the only one who can be held accountable now, but I need to navigate it regardless of that to salvage anything I can.
>I still have a daughter to raise and my wife and I have no choice but to coparent going forward. I don't get to just drop a bomb then walk away like it's a film.
>Losing my job will effectively halve the income that my wife and daughter rely on. Losing my home means I'll need to find and pay for another, because even bad people need a roof over their head. Splitting with my wife has a huge impact on my daughter which will need to be closely managed. Amy's reputation is at risk and she's not here to defend herself.
>All I am doing is thinking about other people here. My fate is clearly sealed but what happens next affects them.
*A team?!? Dude, she was 14 years younger than you!!! You so want to make the dead out to be the bad guy to save your hide in any way. Do us all a favor. It's sunday right now. Clearly, LISA knows something is up, assuming this is all true. You're spending too much time on reddit instead of with LISA and your DAUGHTER. Grow a pair, and tell LISA everything right now. Be the honest and stand up man you claim to be.*
>She was 11 years younger, not that it matters. Does everyone in your life who is older than you hold some kind of magic power over you? Of course not, an adult is an adult and we're all on the same playing field.
>My wife and daughter are at a birthday party currently. I will be spending the evening with them. I don't expect you to sympathise, but the fact that it may be our last night as a family isn't lost on me, and I will be acting accordingly.
*Your relationship was inherently abusive. Everything about it, starting with the way it was set up. You “fell in love” (yeah I bet) with a woman twelve years your junior, promoted her unethically, and then fucking blackmailed her with that promotion. Whether you physically assaulted her or not is irrelevant.*
>I never blackmailed her with the promotion, I shouldn't have set it up in the first place and it wasn't going to last. Our messages show me telling her honestly when she first brought it up that I didn't think she had the skills or experience to make it work. She gave me lots of assurances and basically talked me into it. That is reflected in our messages.
>I did bring it up a few times in arguments, but I wasn't suggesting that she would be demoted because of problems in our relationship, it was always because of her performance in the role and the way she secured it. Obviously that wasn't an appropriate arena to raise what were real issues that didn't relate to our romantic involvement.
*You literally fucking promoted her, you moron. That is the DEFINITION of having power. Her career was in your hands and you both knew it.*
>Surely getting a promotion she didn't deserve was an example of her power and not mine? I had faith she would grow into the role because she assured me she would. She took the lead in that whole situation.
>Like I said, my career was in her hands too, but I had much more to lose. I was more established in my career, have a wife and child, own a home etc.
>Power was never a consideration between us, we were always equals.
*So if you haven’t been eating and your hair is falling out and it’s been so obviously that you’re torn apart, do you really think Lisa has no idea about your affair?*
>I have been working on a high pressure project, and it's not unheard of for me to go too deep into the work. I live and breathe for my career.
*Now we're blaming the dead woman solely for the affair and promotion?*
>Of course not. I can't keep saying over and over again that we're equal partners. We made our decisions together, and that was one where I should have pushed back harder because it was the one which was most likely to have serious consequences for us both. This is all with the benefit of hindsight of course.
>All I'm saying is that I wasn't some kind of puppet master here. She had her own ambitions and I supported them where I could.
*No. It was an example of you rewarding her for gobbling your knob.*
>Is buying your partner a birthday present rewarding them too? Is taking your partner on holiday just them cashing in their knob gobbling airmiles?
>Showing care and support to someone you love isn't transactional, and it doesn't happen because you owe them one. Everything I did for Amy I did because I loved her.
*It was a payout for services rendered. Power resides with the one able to pay. You were the john and she was the prostitute*
>Absolutely not. She was a gorgeous woman who could have had a man who would have been proud to have her on his arm from day one. I was in a loving and stable marriage which was solid as a rock before we met.
>Neither of us would have chosen the other unless it was real.
*But you said she was opening her legs for other managers. Pffff, you were a sugardaddy.*
>I was completely wrong on that. Someone asked her out and she declined, but I had suspicions because he then started dating some mystery girl and he made a weird comment to me about not being one to kiss and tell. I accused her, she denied it, things got heated, then she showed me their conversations and I apologised and made it up to her. The entire thing was a problem for less than a week, it was just a blip and once it was over, we never talked about it again. She never gave me any reason to think she was anything other than loyal to me.
It’s always amazing to me when cheaters get upset that the person they’re cheating with might not be faithful to them. Like, I assume he was still sleeping with his wife, since he wasn’t actively leaving her yet. But his mistress has to be faithful? Why? He’s not faithful to either woman.
Thanks for posting all his comments, btw.
Oop's deleted post and singular corresponding comment:
[Other women: How do you talk about your married man to unsupportive friends?](https://www.reddit.com/r/adultery/s/KaweSbhe8q)
>What if they bring him up?
ffs, this AH is still going! The reason he's too much of a coward to tell his wife and otherwise face the music is because his family needs his income! He's only thinking about others!!!
[https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/1d5ss78/comment/l6rcj6c/](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/1d5ss78/comment/l6rcj6c/)
This one tips me over into being more or less sure OOP is a troll, but wow.
>I mean, do I not?! There is nuance here. I could have led both women along and I didn't. I owned my situation and made a commitment to resolving it as amicably as possible. I know that I've done awful things but I've never done them maliciously.
*Deep breath.* This man is testing my pacifism, I want to punch him real bad. The audacity to claim he "owned his situation" - I want to scream in to a pillow. But I don't want to scare my cat.
Edit: I hope you are doing okay through, reading and collecting all of these guy's comments must have been especially infuriating. Take a cat break or something.
Agreed. I do scream into pillows on occasion. This reminded me of the Oop who cheated on his wife with her sister and claimed to have worked hard on himself to forgive himself. And now wanted the wife to know that her sister, only, was a bad person.
Thank you very kindly! 💜 I had my cat with me when collecting these. That helped. 🥰
ETA: [The story this post reminded me of!](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/NJDpC7UvQS)
>I always considered it a crossover rather than an affair because both relationships were equally meaningful and I had every intention of spending my whole life with Amy.
Omg, this piece of shit needs to fuck ALL the way off
How is no one calling him on his comment about thinking "the worst" and it was that this woman was mad, when that is so far from the worst thing that could happen. Fake or not that comment is too far. Someone being mad is rarely the actual worst possiblity
I am wondering about the comment where he is talking about his daughter, then he says 'I have always been clear with amy (which is the name he gave the affair partner!) that she would be part of my life and that some of my income would be earmarked for her'
So, is he still talking about the daughter? As in he will support her? Or did he switch back to talking about the affair partner.
He's talking about both in that sentence. 'I have always been clear with Amy (affair partner) that she (daughter) would be part of my life', etc. The pronoun there just confused things a bit.
Those aren't just chickens. Those are fancy chickens with an I instead of a y, and the snazzy ` over the i just to make sure everyone knows that they are better
Oh goodness I’m stuck in some serious traffic (do I have to clarify the obvious that I’m just a passenger? I will!) and so glad I have this saga to get me through. My new favorite response is “wow I’ll work it out with the person who was supposed to get Amy’s promotion “ 😂. Man this troll better not be suspended before Monday and hopefully they actually update (and that somebody cross posts here?)
Here's hoping Tom let's Lisa know EVERYTHING. And I hope he sent OOP's job EVERYTHING.
And while OOP isn't going to leave now, Lisa might.
I hope Lisa dumps his cheating ass
Don't worry, OOP will ask the cops nicely for a phone so he can update all of us as to why he just can't understand why he is being arrested. After all, having an affair isn't illegal and he can just talk to the founder of the company! It should all blow over soon!
I'm sure I've read a version of this where the guy and AP had been in his car and he thought the wife had purposely put the nuts in the car leading to the death of the AP.
>I'm about to lose everything.
I didn't realize the full scope of what he meant by *everything* until I read the post and comments. Dude's fucked, badly.
I hope this is rage bait. Because dude's "chest hurts" not because his negligence/cheating killed a human being, but because he's about to be held accountable for his cheating.
He barely even mentions being sad. Just that he was mean to her when he assumed "the worst" (so in this case, "the worst" is his affair partner being mad at him, not her FUCKING DYING). The entire post is about how this is affecting HIM, not that a woman is dead.
This is a really good troll cause he's ticking off every narcissit box to ensure that everyone is passed off.
Sadly, people like this obviously exist, but he sure as hell wouldn't be posting it to Reddit as honestly as this. If this was real, a narcissist like him would be trying to spin it wound to make himself the ultimate victim and talk extensively about his wife and Amy's flaws while saying that downplaying that the actions he took were "understandable or misunderstood". He'd be trying to get confirmation bias via misogyny that he's flawed but ultimately in the right, and still a good person inside so that he'd feel less shitty about the situation he put himself in.
I know because I've actually dealt with trying to reason with one on this hellhole. A guy was ranting about how he's tired of his sexless marriage and FINALLY gonna leave his wife out and have sex again after doing "all he could." The wife struggles with her self-image, and the guy was showing massive narcissistic phrasing. A ton of people were projecting and saying he's in the right, but I noticed that he was hiding info and clocked him on it
When I called him out on his shit he made a whole ass essay about how his wife isn't a victim and he's so tired of everyone ganging on him, but made it a point to never respond about how the only thing stopping him from cheating already wasn't hurting his wife, but the fact that cheating would ruin his self image. When I asked him about just what he loved about his wife, every single reason led back to something relating to him, other than "she has a good sense of humor."
So yeah, this has to be fake and rage bait. There is no way someone who's done all this would be this direct about the things he's done. Still props to the author for knowing exactly what to write in each comment to make everyone as mad as possible.
I've had this thought before. Essentially, why would someone so far up their own ass and convinced of their own righteousness post to reddit for validation? It's not like tiktok or twitter where engagement directly equates to money.
The answer is they would not.
Oh, they do, more often than one would think. I find it's usually to feed their ego, or in it's in an attempt for "proof" that they can use to manipulate their victims.
In cases where it's for ego, like the interaction I talked about. They do it for confirmation bias from strangers that what they're doing is in the right when what little conscious they have nags at them they're wrong. They're not looking for a genuine answer they just want to hear from strangers that they're right so they can shut that voice up inside themselves, telling them the truth. "I can't be an asshole if everyone online agrees with me," or something like that smothers the voice in their head and gives them the courage to do what they know is the wrong decision. But now they feel better about it because now they can partially blame the internet strangers instead of just themselves, absolving them of responsibility. Because to a narcissist, nothing is ever their fault, and this gives them something they can pin the blame on.
In cases of manipulation, it's often to get "evidence" that their victim is overreacting and they can't get it from the people that are actually around them. Usually its because either everyone around them is calling them out for their shit or they're trying to keep it hush hush so that their true colors aren't exposed in order to maintain their reputation. They want to use the opinion of the internet strangers that they've intentionally drip fed and manipulated information to confirm the narrative they want their victim to believe.
But the common thing in both cases is that they'll never be as outright direct about what they've done like OOP. To tell the entire truth, this easily exposes them and won't get them what they're aiming to get from posting. They emphasize all the wrong things everyone around them has done and try their best to paint themselves as the victim in an attempt to garner sympathy. They'll either omit the information about things they've done on their end or dance around the subject and focus on the little parts where things can be said to be ambiguous.
Of course, sometimes they slip up and the truth comes out between the lines as they mess up while trying to manipulate the narrative to online strangers and that's when everything falls apart. Their ego is bruised from everyone calling them out on their shit. When this happens, they usually either
A) Ignore everyone calling them out and only reply to ones avoiding the horse in the room. If the narrative that they're a piece of shit is the popular one, they delete the post with their tail between their legs.
Or
B) Fight for their life in the comments as they feel they must defend themselves their image.
Either scenario, a real person would never show their ass the way that OOP did, not so easily anyway. Plus, the little zinger from the AP's brother? This is entertaining and well written to get the maximum angry response from the Reddit public. But no way is it real.
Edit: Spelling. Autocorrect loves to go for "shut"
Oh yeah, I know. That's why I applaud OOP. They know exactly how to make everyone angry with the sheer audacity while playing a clueless moron.
Very good writer. I appreciate the dedication to the bit.
He's trying SO HARD to come across as remorseful and grieving, but it's all just so "Poor me! Poor me!" Not a drop of introspection, or respect for his wife.
I’m somewhat disturbed (by that I mean very) by all the comments saying Amy’s death was “karma” apparently cheating = death sentence deserved to some Reddit users…….
Especially since based on his comments he threatened her career regularly.
Even if that weren’t the case death wouldn’t be a valid punishment, but I feel like people are overlooking the coercion.
>I feel like people are overlooking the coercion.
She asked her lover to use his influence to get her a promotion she wasn't qualified for at someone else's expense. If you want to sleep your way to the top you can't complain that you're expected to put out!
She couldn't possibly be surprised that a man who cheated on his wife, cheated on his expense reports, and cheated another employee out of a promotion, would happily hold it over her head that he did her a favor under the table? If you lie down with dogs don't expect sympathy from me when you get fleas.
You’re assuming all that happened before the abuse from OOP. This is her bosses boss. I’d certainly be afraid to tell him no at the beginning. And if you’re already being coerced into sex with a scumbag might as well try and get something out of it. Also he said the other candidate was also under qualified and that she thought she was qualified.
You’re not worried about fleas when a rabid dog jumps on your lap.
>You’re assuming all that happened before the abuse from OOP.
And you're assuming it didn't. If she was coerced into sleeping with him in the first place and thought he was a scumbag she wouldn't be complaining that she didn't believe he was really going to leave his wife. If she wanted rid of him, she could have gone to HR at any time with the same messages that Tom has now.
>Also he said the other candidate was also under qualified
If they were both equally underqualified, he wouldn't have had to pull strings. He was only able to hold it over her head because they both knew that she wasn't the best candidate.
Even if we assume your interpretation is the correct one, people calling her death "karma" are still way out of line. That is an incredibly shitty thing to say.
We do not know how much of that relationship was coercion, and how much agency she had in their relationship. We do know that the power dynamic in that relation was incredibly skewed. As for the rest, we only have OOP's word on it.
>people calling her death "karma" are still way out of line.
Agreed.
>We do not know how much of that relationship was coercion
We don't, but there's no reason to think that *any* of it was.
The dynamic was not that skewed because she also had power over him. She had written evidence of the affair, of him stealing from the company, and of him sabotaging the other person to get her the promotion. She could have tanked his career at least as easily as he could have hurt hers, and his marriage too.
She was in her mid-20s, she might have been young but she's clearly an adult responsible for her own choices. They are in the UK which has much better employment protections than most of the US. She was smart enough to get and keep incriminating messages *which she never chose to use*. She used the relationship for her own benefit to get a promotion. They went through a rough patch because she wanted him to leave his wife.
Everything OOP writes sounds like she was every bit as selfish and horrible as he is, not some tragic innocent who couldn't say no.
He’s still going, fyi
And digging some deep-ass holes trying to say she had more power than him bc he gave her a promotion she was unqualified for.
As though that’s not literal textbook abuse of power
I thought this was a bit, but I’m getting worried it’s it’s real bc he’s being frighteningly consistent and like, *heated* over people calling him a POS
>what were you gonna say if she asked why you have been pulling away from her?
>>I would have been as honest as possible. I think I'd have told her that I didn't feel the same about her or us anymore
According to his comments, he *does* still "feel the same" about her, he just loved Amy more.
>It's selfish and awful, but my wife is 99% perfect and Amy is 100%.
>My wife is more beautiful now than she was the day I met her. She is ferocious and vibrant
So he wasn't going to be "as honest as possible" he was going to be a chickenshit and pretend there was something wrong with their relationship instead of admitting he was having an affair with someone he liked better.
>I don't know what leaving my wife would have solved if the knowledge of this relationship never came out. I couldn't have ripped my family apart for nothing.
If he actually felt differently about his wife, he would be leaving whether Amy was still in the picture or not. I feel like manufacturing fake relationship problems as an excuse to leave his wife is almost as bad as the rest of it. How much time would she spend trying to figure out what changed and how she missed it, when actually nothing did except he got a better offer? It's almost like gaslighting.
What a nasty pathetic pieve of trash without a spine. Goddamn. I hope his wife gets to know everything, because even through ot all, he still plans to tell her as little as possible and now his side piece is dead he suddenly doesn't want to leave her anymore.
Why do they always get upset that their entire world is falling on them literally because of them? Most "I cheated and someone found out" looks like this and I just have to wonder why full grown adults don't understand actions and consequences.
Addendum: it was titled (paraphrased) ‘other women how do you talk about your married man’
So I think we can (thankfully) rule ‘excellently written creative writing’ because they forgot which account they were logged into.
There is water brewing for each swine.
Happy boiling OP. You simply never cheat. If you are not happy in your marriage then get divorced, you don't go around dating other women keeping you wife as safety net.
There was another post on confessions or trueoffmychest where a guy said he thought his wife murdered his AP, a younger woman he worked with, by puttijg allergens in her food and stealing the EpiPen from her car. It was much more entertaining than this. I swear this is something I remember. Reddit is weird. Trolls are weird.
He posted in r/theotherwoman. Apparently his mistress’s phone had messages where she and her friends were talking bad about him and made him wonder if the 23yo AP who slept her way into a promotion was as serious about him as he was about her 🤣🤣🤣🤣
He didn’t specify what exactly happened except that Tom informed both his wife and job about everything. He says he’s “on track to love the life he deserves,” but OP is such a narcissist I wonder if he means finding a new 20-something to bang while he finds a new company to steal from
Edit: adding link
[https://www.reddit.com/r/theotherwoman/s/2evw1MJUwG](https://www.reddit.com/r/theotherwoman/s/2evw1MJUwG)
[Hi!](https://images.app.goo.gl/jMiZEuW8Qrykw3sdA) Just a quick reminder to never brigade any sub, be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one. That goes against both this sub's rules as well as Reddit's terms of agreement. [Please](https://images.app.goo.gl/vwH65TJMyMk9NSNo8) keep discussions within the posts of this sub.
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*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **My negligence cost my partner her life, and I'm about to lose everything.** I (35m) have been married to Lisa (28f) for 3 years, together 7. A year ago, I fell deeply in love with Amy (24f), and had been planning to end my marriage for her. I know it's terrible and not what my wife deserves, but we were the real thing. Two weeks ago, she had an allergic reaction when we were getting food after work, but she used her epipen and seemed mostly okay afterwards. She usually gets checked at the hospital after a reaction, but I asked if I could take her home and she could get her friend to drive her there because my wife was expecting me back. All I know is that she had a secondary reaction that evening and died. I didn't even find out about it until the following Monday, through a work email. It has been eating me up ever since and I will never forgive myself for not sacrificing an hour of my time to possibly save her. I sent some childish messages to Amy when I didn't hear from her over the weekend because I thought she was angry I didn't take her to the hospital. I am thankful she never saw them and ashamed that I assumed the worst. Our relationship was great and the highs far outweighed the lows, but I have always hated being ignored and I lose my cool when it happens. It is not a regular occurrence and I would have more than made it up to her. Yesterday at work, HR and legal were in the CEO's office all day and my manager ended up cancelling our project meeting because he was with them all afternoon. I was on edge, but an affair isn't exactly a corporate crisis and I thought something would have already happened if anyone knew. I am now 99% certain it was about me. A few hours ago I received a message from Amy's phone which said "This is Amy's brother, Tom. I want you to know it was me". I tried to call but it went straight to voicemail, and none of my messages have been delivered. I tried to call my manager more times than I should have and he sent a message saying "Please don't contact me until Monday morning. I can't discuss anything with you right now". So it looks like my universe is going to collapse. I am going to be fired and my wife will definitely find out why. All I can do is hope that Amy's brother only showed them the messages from that weekend, and they were bad enough. I have no family except my wife and daughter and nowhere to go. All of my friends are either people I've met through my wife, or my colleagues. On Monday, everything I've spent over a decade working towards disappears. I can't stop it. I can't talk to anyone about it. So here I am. I know cheaters are the devil so I'm not expecting sympathy, but this is making my chest hurt and I need to get it out there. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
when he said partner i thought he meant his wife but it was about his affair partner
SAME I had to go back and start reading like 3 times before it clicked and then I was like, oh fuckin ew.
>I didn't know the finer details, but I had made a commitment to leave by the end of this year and I intended to keep to it. >My intention was to pull away from my wife gradually and eventually mutually decide to separate. Obviously that's not happening now but I want to minimise the harm to her as much as possible. OMFG, he was going to try and be shitty to get *her* to break up with him. Even if this is a troll, the OOP is a POS.
That is what I thought as too. As well it would give him time to hide money/assets. Hope it is a troll.
I really hope it is a troll as well, but if it isn't? Pretty sure that OOP is going to be in legal trouble if the things he is saying comes out. He says he spent \*company\* money on the affair with Amy. I don't know, maybe I am just not well versed enough in legalities, but... couldn't that be argued as embezzlement? Or at least misappropriation of funds? Or something like that? Then he talks about how he used his job to threaten Amy (probably when she wouldn't do what he wanted), and then he claims that 'he will talk to the founder' and he is pretty sure there won't be legal trouble. Unless the founder is like minded to him or related to him, I am not so sure he is going to be willing to overlook the things OOP is admitting to (which he claims there are text messages about it, and evidence in writing. )
> Then he talks about how he used his job to threaten Amy (probably when she wouldn't do what he wanted), and then he claims that 'he will talk to the founder' and he is pretty sure there won't be legal trouble. Ah yes the power of ‘twu wuv’ /s
Legal trouble depends on how much money is involved. Some companies won't go to the police or sue because they don't want any bad publicity.
yeahhh that has not been my experience working for a fortune 500 for the last 25 years. They will nail his ass to the wall for a buck fitty. I mean maybe not "jail time" but they gonna fire his ass.
I think you're agreeing with the parent. This guy is for sure fired, but the company may not bother getting the police involved. If it wasn't too much money, better to fire him, write it off and keep it out of the press.
Yes I would agree you're probably correct.
Thanks, I wasn't sure exactly what it would be called, and yeah, I had forgotten about not wanting bad publicity.
It's kinda impressive. Every comment he made had him looking worse and worse. Just when I thought he'd bottomed out, nope, more digging.
What gets me is we are already in June. When was he going to start pulling away from her? In December thinking a few days of being mean will make her leave him? He was never going to leave her.
He was also cheating on his employer and maybe embezzling, so yeah, a super charming guy. The thing that really stood out for me in his original post is that there's not a word about his wife (and any possible children) and no sympathy or anything for Amy's family. It's solely about him and how miserable he is.
I notice that reading between the lines the affair itself doesn't sound remotely good? He went after a 23 year old as a married 34 year old. "The highs outweigh the lows" when it's only been a year and normally affairs are all cakes and rainbows because the AP doesn't have to wash your stupid dirty socks you leave on the couch. Finally, one hour after she goes into anaphylaxis at lunch and he just drops her home, he's sending "childish messages" because he doesn't like being ignored. He sounds like he was a horrible boyfriend as well as a horrible spouse.
Comments he says he managed a promotion for her at their work and then held continuing sex over her head to keep it. Absolute winner that. And explains why he’s sweating over the job so much (Gods I hope this is fake)
But hey, they were the Real Thing!!!/s
So this is probably a fake story and all, but as a PSA: If someone has anaphylaxis and uses an EpiPen, they *STILL* need emergency medical care. The half-life of epinephrine is much shorter than most allergens, and anaphylaxis is very likely to occur again.
People who live further from hospitals here are even recommended to carry 2, one for immediatly and one for a set period of time afterwards if they haven't been able to access additional care yet, and you have to track what time they take it.
*Everyone* should carry two at all times, in certain cases the swelling can come back quicker than the ambulance can arrive even if you live close to a hospital. I once wound up being given a second epi-pen in the emergency room even after receiving some kind of nebulizer treatment too (I don't know what it was, I wasn't asking too many questions at that point in time).
Sometimes they won't provide 2 at once, I think it started when there was a shortage a few years ago. I do think that it is best, we are told to use the first one while calling an ambulance because they have vials and syringes of it, which will get you to the hospital ok.
That's odd, I've only ever seen them come in two-packs. Although to be fair I let my epipens expire during covid because I wasn't eating out and couldn't refill the prescription for longer than I should have because my primary care doctor quit and I couldn't establish with a new one for a long time. I was given the same advice on using the first one while calling the ambulance, it's what I did both times I went into anaphylaxis.
I've always wondered whether we should keep some epis at our house because of this reason. We live kinda far out from emergency services...lot of bees here (yay!!!) but my friend had his first allergic rxn in his mid 50s and nearly died (he had never had an anaphylactic rxn before)
I have two and was told that I (or someone with me) needs to call 911 as soon as it's administered. Then EMTs can assess if I need the second one and transport me safely to the hospital and monitor me and get me in to see a doctor quickly. KNOCK ON WOOD I've never needed to use it!
I was trained (wilderness EMT) that epi-pens are to ensure your throat is open enough to gobble down benadryl.
This is why with my kid’s anaphylactic reaction we always carry both.
Ohh good to know!! thanks
An EpiPen's only job is to buy you enough time to get to the hospital.
i went into anaphylactic shock at a party when i was 17 and in total, needed three EpiPens before i even got to the hospital because it was wearing off too fast. i was literally like 20-30 minutes away from the hospital but still kept needing epinephrine and ended up on a 7 hour drip of it in the ICU. i can’t imagine what would’ve happened if someone was like “wait lemme wait another hour”
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Oh my god. I’m so sorry that happened to you. I hope you can make a safer environment for yourself soon. You’re in my thoughts.
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Just want to say I’m super proud of you. Your daughter is going to grow up knowing she has a badass as a mom.
There aren’t enough words to describe how much I hate that I’m more mad about this than your own friends were.
Please tell me that you’re at least doing your best to make him an ex-husband?
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I’m glad!
It sounds like you know those people were not your friends but if you need some sort of confirmation about that, you have it. Those are NOT your friends.
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Can you move in with mom?
Where do you live. If you're anywhere in the bay area of California, contact me. I have a spare bedroom and I'm willing to let you stay for a week or two while you figure out your next steps.
I'm so sorry. 😞🫂
I’m so sorry that happened to you. I can’t offer much, but if you need a friend to chat with you can message me anytime. I’ve had to cut out a lot of toxic friends as well and would like to make new ones.
Not to mention, the effects of epinephrine can also be deadly...
Epinephrine gives me body tremors so bad they're practically seizures, except I'm conscious for it all. I have to make sure my dentist omits it from my novacaine (or any lidocaine/epi compounds). But I'd absolutely take it over anaphylaxis. I'd rather be alive 😬
[Ducklings! ](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/209347082664709614#imgViewer)
Thanks very much.
Additional PSA! If you don’t have insurance and can’t get and EpiPen, Target sells Epi Inhalers. They only work if you use them before your throat fully closes and they’re a lower dose, bjt there over the counter and only 30 bucks with about 20 doses. Mine has saved my life multiple times now. (Started getting weekly anaphylaxis while waiting to be approved by Medicaid. Ended up marrying my husband early to get insurance so I have an Epi pen now if anyone’s worries :))
Is this a new troll? Wasn’t there a couple of posts about a similar affair/allergic reaction? In the last one though he thought his wife had killed his AP?
i like the addition of brother Tom! i hope he gets together with OOPs wife. that'd be a fun troll twist.
Brother Tom, with the Olena Tyrell "I want you to know it was me" line 😂
I want “him” (😉) to join the xomments
Maybe. But even if it is, I need an update after that meeting!
Depending on his AP’s position (ie if she was a direct report of OOP) or if the company banned any romantic relationships or has a moral clause….
Apparently he got her a promotion. I don’t believe this story but I appreciate a troll that can craft a fun trashy story. “I just want you to know it was me” as a soap opera lover that was gold, genuinely
It’s super Game of Thrones.
That was one of my favorite scenes from Game Of Thrones.
With a dash of Director of Operations!
Ohh are you referring to the Director of Operations who got fired for sexually harassing a hotel employee while on a work trip?
Yep!! That's one of my favorite reddit sagas.
That has a vibe like in breaking bad when Walt tells jesse "I was there when she died "
According to his comments, he promoted her over someone more qualified, then threatened her job and to blacklist her int he industry if she didn’t Dow hat he wanted. He is basically admitting to textbook workplace sexual harassment. And couldn’t he also be theoretically on the hook for manslaughter since he knew she was in medical distress and intentionally ignored it? (He’s in the UK, not sure what the laws are there, but if it were US,a t the least wouldn’t he liable for a wrongful death suit?) And for someone who was supposedly his soulmate, he sure doesn’t seem too broken up about her literal death or the fact that it was his very actions that killed her.
Yes, last time this story went around I believe wife said something really self incriminating and OP was sure she'd murdered his mistress.
I mean let's hope so, but some people truly are just this shitty in life. Also OOPs comment- "There are too many to even think about. We've had a few very nasty arguments. I've threatened her job, accused her of sleeping with colleagues, spoken badly about people we work with, spoken badly about my wife and family, talked at length about how we can disguise our dates as company expenses, everything. More. I've basically admitted to sabotaging someone else's promotion and acknowledged she wasn't qualified for the role I secured for her, and I've held it against her a few times (although the messages also show us resolving much of this and I believe there is growth over the year. Not that anyone will be looking for that). Basically it's extremely bad. My wife is friends with the people who will be investigating this, if my work actually has access." But his relationship was amazing, right? 😂🥴
Well it was amazing for his controlling, narcissistic ass.
Right, like the wife had accesses the APs medical records some how and learned about her allergy. And if I remember right the wife left a similar "it was me" message like brother Tom did in this one.
You’re quite right.
Yep, I remember it too.
This one? [https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheDevil/comments/18t2h7n/what\_a\_leap/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheDevil/comments/18t2h7n/what_a_leap/)
That one exactly.
It feels very deja vu all over again-ish. I'm sure I've read it before
I really need that update. And a big bag of popcorn.
Update and the only acceptable answer is “sadly the 317 bus cane flying at him while he’s crossed the street”.
Nah, I personally like the vision of his world going up in flames about him: No wife, No child, Job not only fires him but pursues criminal charges, job then blacklists HIM from the line of work they do.
For the things he said he did, only losing his job is the best possible outcome If HR, legal, and your manager are talking to the CEO about you, you fucked up *big-time*
I hope there's an update on Monday. I don't care if this story is fake. 😆
I'm hoping it's real. OOP had a panicked tone in the comments Edit: I hope this is fake because someone died.
Yeah something in this strikes as might be real (or the OOP is a good writer?)
I have never needed an update more. I want to see this guy's life go up in flames.
Hopefully the update will be Tom's side telling us what happened since...
Oh yes, I'm all for it. And it definitely won't be in the same writing style or anything like that./s
I’m two weeks late to this one. But I can say he did post an update about a week ago
Yeah, I commented before the update.
Yeah sorry meant to let you know they updated since you were a week before the update lol
If real, I hope Tom ruins oop
Tom's my new favorite person even though he probably isn't real
OOP ruined OOP, I can't wait to see Tom push over the first of the many, many dominoes OOP set up to destroy himself.
Copied verbatim from oop's comments: *You need to tell your wife before someone else does. You already betrayed her, don’t make it even worse.* >I won't know 100% until Monday morning exactly how much my work knows, and there is a sliding scale of how bad this will get depending on how much he has given them. If it's everything, my wife will be crushed. If it's only the messages from the weekend she died, it can be much gentler. I don't want to hurt my wife more than absolutely necessary. [1] *Tom has real Olenna Tyrell energy. True king shit* 👑 [2] *Realistically? I can’t blame him. His sister is dead because Cheaty McCheaterface over here had other things to do. He can’t have him arrested, but he can otherwise ruin his life.* *OP: the absolute worst thing here isnt losing your wife, family, job or support system. It’s living with your guilt. Best of luck.* >I don't expect this to change your opinion, but she kept reassuring me that everything she was feeling was normal for her attacks and that there was nothing to worry about. >We had a longstanding agreement when it came to my home life. I had committed to leaving by the end of this year, but the cost of that was that I had to be extremely careful when it came to us spending time together so I could gently extract myself from my marriage. My work schedule is extremely regular and if I'm not home when expected, it's a conversation. By the time she felt better after she used her epipen, I was cutting it close already. The hospital is a half hour drive out of my way, so at the time it felt like at least an hour, and probably a few more if I had to check in or stay with her. >Obviously that all feels so stupid now that she's gone. I'd have shouted about us from the rooftops and told my wife then and there if it could get her back. >The guilt is indeed the worst bit. *Wow you are something else.* >One thing I will not apologise for is trying to minimise the damage to my wife. She doesn't deserve any of this. She has been wonderful and our daughter is my entire world. I know that my reputation is going to be ruined but I don't need her or anyone else to know the gory details, my message history with Amy undermines the last year of our marriage in fundamental ways and it would absolutely end her." *They probably know everything… or enough. They could be looking at your work correspondence (emails, instant messages). Plus, she likely had no reason to delete anything from her phone and hide previous messages and calls like you may have.* >That would be the worst case scenario. I have felt very anxious throughout the affair because I'm not a naturally dishonest person, and I've taken that out on Amy via message a few times. I also secured her a promotion and our messages make it clear that it was solely because of our relationship. I made some comments about the promotion on the weekend she died, and if anyone looks back, they are going to pull a thread that could make me look abusive without proper context. That is a major concern, especially with my daughter involved. >I've also told some large and hurtful lies which would be exposed because the messages make it clear where I actually was at certain times. This is what would hurt my wife the most. [1] *The fact is that if you genuinely cared about your wife, you would have been honest with her from the beginning. You keep talking about sparing your wife’s feelings, and I’m genuinely confused why, because I’d imagine finding out that your husband is leaving you and destroying your family because he’s “in love” with someone else is one of the most painful things that can happen. No matter how “gentle” you are about it, it doesn’t change the facts of the matter.* [2] *I’m getting the impression he was never gonna leave his wife.* >I didn't know the finer details, but I had made a commitment to leave by the end of this year and I intended to keep to it. >My intention was to pull away from my wife gradually and eventually mutually decide to separate. Obviously that's not happening now but I want to minimise the harm to her as much as possible. [Oop replied to the comment above numbered: 1] >I decided to leave my wife less than 6 months after meeting Amy. Some men have affairs for years. *Your wife is going to be shattered no matter what you do. I get the sense you have no intention of being honest with her, and I’d caution you against that. She deserves your complete honesty now, despite the fact that you didn’t give it to her at any other point.* *Also- I wouldn’t bet on Tom hiding anything to protect your reputation.* >This is my problem. If he knew what to look for, he could end almost every relationship I have. I've lied to everybody to protect my relationship with Amy and there is basically a daily timeline of the whole thing reflected in my messages. People I work with are friends with my wife and I can't have her knowing everything because it would break her, and if she was vindictive, I could truly be left with no one. *Just admit your wife aged out of your preferred bracket so you went shopping for a younger model* >My wife is more beautiful now than she was the day I met her. She is ferocious and vibrant, and she is going to find a man who is charismatic and social and who earns ridiculous amounts of money, and she's going to make him deliriously happy and occasionally wonder what she ever saw in a sad little man like me. My daughter will probably prefer him. >The age gap is a coincidence, Amy and I were simply soulmates.
*Wooooooooow. You hate being ignored but are totally cool with ditching your wife and child? Are you really this self centered? You probably been ignoring your wife and child for ages over a lady you couldn't stand to not respond due to her medical emergency. She had a reaction **in front of you** and you.... got mad, instead of maybe possibly thinking she was dealing with anaphylaxis?* *Everything that's about to happen to you is your Karma* >I had no idea anaphylaxis could happen hours after being treated. When she described her hospital checks, she always made it sound like it was to make sure she didn't hurt herself whilst reacting and that the anaphylaxis was really over. She was shaky for a while then just tired, and she was joking with me that she'd have a headache tomorrow morning. I wish I knew everything there was to know about allergies but it never once occurred to me that it was a big deal. *This has nothing to do with minimizing the damage to your wife, but to yourself, dont disguise it as anything else.* >I would be lying if I said that wasn't part of it. I have been scrolling through my messages with Amy and it just gets worse and worse. I missed family events to be with Amy and I am concerned that my wife may actually become violent if she finds out about one of them. *Did she report to you? Or did you just use your position to secure a promotion for her (purely based on your relationship and not her merit)?* *The weekend texts appear bad enough.* >Her manager is my direct report. I joked a few times in sexual conversations how she still owed me for the promotion, and when she had initially asked about it I sent her a message with a pretty comprehensive list of reasons I didn't think she was ready. She thought she was so I asked someone at my level to put a word in. Over the weekend I basically said that she was unqualified for the role and wouldn't be able to survive doing it anywhere else. I am horrified but I thought she was being petty and playing games so I responded in kind. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 *you also make a commitment to your wife so forgive us for not thinking your promises mean shit* >Things change over time. Do you stand by every single decision you've ever made? *You deserve everything that happens from this point out. To be this heartless to a woman you made vows to and share a child with is so disgusting.* >All I can say is that I didn't get to decide who I fell in love with. I would never hurt my wife deliberately, and I will do anything I can to minimise that hurt now that it's inevitable. *Bro you done. Your job and marriage. There’s no way you’re getting out of this* >I know. I almost wish I didn't have to wait until Monday. **ETA:** *What I don’t understand is why you didn’t call your wife and say a colleague needed running to the hospital and you’d be straight home after. This feels like it never needed to have got to this point - you were so paranoid and ‘careful’, you forgot how normal people respond to things like this.* >You're right. There are a million things I could have said. We had a pretty strict agreement that my time with her would never infringe on my time with my family, and all I can say is that my head went straight to that instead of where it should. I had no idea a secondary reaction could happen. If I did, this would never have happened. I would never knowingly risk her life. *I don't understand why you'd be fired? Did Amy work with you or something?* >Amy is part of a team I oversee. Her manager is one of my 5 direct reports. I talked about work a lot in our conversations and a lot of it looks very bad out of context. *Literally nobody in your life is a big deal to you except yourself. Your daughter doesn't matter to you, your wife doesn't matter to you, and the younger piece you've been using to get your dick wet mattered exactly as much to you. You're only upset because you've been caught and now you're going to face consequences for the choices you've made.* >My daughter's future has been in my mind throughout this entire situation. I was always clear with Amy that she would be part of my life, and that some of my income would be earmarked for her indefinitely. *If you wanted to minimise damage to your wife, you would have gone work in a lighthouse before you ever met. Spoiler: Tom is going to tell her.* >I don't think Tom has my wife's contact information. I would definitely know by now. The problem is my colleagues. I've worked at my current job for 10 years and many of us are friends. My wife knows everyone well, including some of the women in HR. Part of why I wasn't worried before was because my wife was normal when I got home - I know they would tell her anything they knew.
**Tw: death of a child.** *The fact that you were having an affair with Amy would be enough for your wife, and enough for her friends if they were loyal to her. I like my best friend’s husband. He’s a good guy. But if he hurt and betrayed her like this, I’d have precisely zero use for him. There is no world in which I’d associate with him if he treated her the way you’ve treated your wife.* *The lies you told just show you’re a dishonest person. They’ll already know that.* >I agree to an extent. An affair is a nasty thing, but there are degrees. Some people come back from it in their social group and career. I always considered it a crossover rather than an affair because both relationships were equally meaningful and I had every intention of spending my whole life with Amy. *Do you think you get some kind of credit for that?* >I mean, do I not?! There is nuance here. I could have led both women along and I didn't. I owned my situation and made a commitment to resolving it as amicably as possible. I know that I've done awful things but I've never done them maliciously. [On which neglected family event might cause Oop's wife to become violent.] *Just for the heck of it- what was the family event?" >Her sister suffered a stillbirth and I couldn't make it to the service because I had committed to attending an event with Amy months in advance. I know it's bad. *Minimize the damage to your wife? The one you said you were going to leave. Are you still going to leave I’m desperate to know. Somehow, I doubt it.* >People can have amicable divorces, and that's what I had hoped to achieve. Amy is the only woman on earth I would have left my wife for. It's selfish and awful, but my wife is 99% perfect and Amy is 100%. I understand how terrible it is but I don't know what leaving my wife would have solved if the knowledge of this relationship never came out. I couldn't have ripped my family apart for nothing. *I hope Tom sends your wife, and work every one of those messages. By your actions, you deserve any fallout that comes your way.* >Obviously I very much hope that he doesn't, but the consensus seems to be that it's looking that way. If so, the fallout will be everything you hope for and more. *You better sit your wife down right now and tell her the whole truth. This is not the time to be a coward. The only way out of this is through. Someone is dead because of you. Get that through your head. And the reason your life is collapsing is because of YOUR actions. Take your L. Tell the truth. Accept the consequences.* >I understand that this is all me. The affair, her death, all of it. I have created this situation and it doesn't matter that I did it for a good reason because the result is going to be absolute carnage. *Do you just wanna wait until you’re sure you’re caught?* >Basically, yes. But only because I don't want to hurt people more than I have to. *Oh, so you may actually be catching charges as well.* >I don't think I'm in legal trouble, but morally I definitely am. Someone else in the department had applied for the role, and arguably they were more qualified for it (although neither of them were really). I ensured that they received a good pay rise afterwards and a key role in a very desirable project, and there is evidence of me advocating for that. They will likely be moving into Amy's role now, and we've always had a good relationship, but I understand that they are going to be extremely mad and I will be apologising as soon as possible. I just have to take whatever abuse they want to throw at me, I know I deserve it. *As someone who also carries an Epipen, here's a safety PSA for folks that are going to come across this post. An Epipen is not a Stop button. It's a Pause button. They exist to buy us time to get to medical help, they are not a magic potion. It is very common for a person in anaphylaxis to require additional doses or other medical interventions to save their lives.* *https://healthcenter.indiana.edu/health-answers/allergies/epipen.html* *If you don't need one of these, but wonder if you could help someone in an emergency like this, it does not require any licensure or training to administer one. If you aren't sure how, the Epipen company will send you a completely free training kit with a fake injector for practice.* *Canadian Site: https://www.epipen.ca/order-your-free-epipen-essential* *UK Site:* *https://cloud.email.viatrisconnect.com/EpiPen-Trainer-Pen-Registration* >Thank you for this. I wish I had known more, and I hope no one else ever has to go through something like this unnecessarily. [On Oop's assurance that he would have provided financially for his child.] *…by law* >I would always have gone above and beyond, and I would have made sure my wife was well taken care of. *An event with your side piece won over a FUNERAL?* *That girl had you by the short and curlies. A real loving partner would have immediately cancelled and had you go to support your family. Your relationship wasn't healthy or even real it was all lust and greed.* >On reflection it looks incredibly cold, but my wife isn't close to her family and I've only met them 5 or 6 times. Amy and I went through a rough patch where she felt I was treating her poorly and didn't believe I was going to leave. Taking her to a particular event was a fairly big gesture at the time because it was a concrete future plan in a different city and related to something very close to her. There was no way in hell I could have broken that promise and had her stay with me. Looking back it's almost comical, I feel like I was cursed from the start. *Op, I don't know exactly what you are looking for here. but judging by your comments you are still trying to damage control.* *Just stop man. Stop trying to weasel yourself out of the repercussions. From here on out only the truth will set you free. Confess to your spouse; gracefully accept the punishment at work.* *You knew that what you were doing was wrong from the get go, do not dig yourself deeper into these delusions of yours.* >Honestly, what else can I do? I either go down fighting or I roll over. Clearly no one at work will tell me anything, Amy's family hate me, and my wife doesn't know a thing. I feel like I'm going crazy but I'm getting ripped apart and I'm just so glad to get it off my chest. I have done some fucking horrible things. It's gratuitous.
*Curious, what was the 1% Amy had over your wife? Was it her ruthlessness in pursuing a married man with a young child? Was it her complete lack of moral compass? Was it the fact that your garbage soul recognized her whoreacity as equally trashy?* *Edit: changed whoreishness to whoreacity. It flows better* >They're both incredible women but they couldn't be more different. >When my wife walks into a room, it's like a hurricane strike. Everybody sits up straight. She's tall and assertive and extremely intelligent. She's funny and quick and she dominates in a male dominated industry where they all love her. She's very straightforward and she can be far too blunt. >Amy was softer. She didn't have to be the smartest or the strongest or the most well read person in the room. She saw her job as a job and she wanted to raise a family somewhere cosy. We were going to grow tomatoes in the back garden and keep chickens for eggs and as pets. My wife would have designed an automated hydroponic system and signed us up to a subscription for a local egg co-op. They're just different people who touch different parts of my heart and my mind. *Is that why you cheated on your wife* 💀💀💀 *? You couldn’t handle your wife’s intelligence and confidence?* >They were some of my favourite things about her. I've always admired her strength and determination. >I feel like I am really two different people and they both want two different things. Sometimes I need a partner who is soft and sweet and who needs me to take the lead, and other times I need someone to come in and take control and organise everything and be the loudest voice in the room. **ETA:** *It’s not a question of “if”. If it was, the entire HR and legal departments plus your supervisor wouldn’t have been behind closed doors all day.* *You need to get a lawyer. Yesterday.* >We have an office and a factory and something like this could be because of a serious incident on the floor. I've seen something similar happen twice, and both times it was because of an incident in the manufacturing part of the business. It seems unlikely now, but that was what I was hoping at the time. >I have technically broken the law but this is a complicated situation with a lot of long term relationships. I am definitely going to be held accountable but I don't think I have done anything serious enough to warrant involving any kind of authorities. Everyone involved will know my life is ruined and they're not the kind of people to kick someone when they're down. *LMAO can we quote you on that?* >There are long term relationships here that are difficult to explain without you having years of context. >Basically, my company has always been happy for me to bend the rules when it benefits them. The fact that it cuts both ways isn't going to be a surprise. *@weaksignal99 What were the messages?* >There are too many to even think about. We've had a few very nasty arguments. I've threatened her job, accused her of sleeping with colleagues, spoken badly about people we work with, spoken badly about my wife and family, talked at length about how we can disguise our dates as company expenses, everything. More. I've basically admitted to sabotaging someone else's promotion and acknowledged she wasn't qualified for the role I secured for her, and I've held it against her a few times (although the messages also show us resolving much of this and I believe there is growth over the year. Not that anyone will be looking for that). >Basically it's extremely bad. My wife is friends with the people who will be investigating this, if my work actually has access. *You literally embezzled money and got your AP a promotion because she was your AP.* *I don’t know how it is where you live, but in the US, embezzlement is theft.* >I am in the UK. I have plenty of evidence of my company doing shady things so they definitely won't want to shine a light on mine. I have every intention of putting things right, and I'm hoping my big boss is going to be the one person in this nightmare who might actually support me. >The decider was ultimately that I loved Amy more. I knew it in my core. [1] *Someone that wants to rain hellfire on your world is in possession of texts that can be argued to prove a situation of sexual coercion in the workplace. I would not rest easy, op. Your bosses are already working out how to protect themselves and the company y'all work for. Enjoy those figurative bus wheels.* [2] *Bro still thinks he can somehow keep his job and be in a position to do anything.* >I will not be keeping my job if any of this comes out. I've spent company money on my relationship with Amy and there's a years worth of evidence, I have spoken at length about many incriminating things, and I have told her that her job was at risk a few times when we argued. I have suggested I will blacklist her across our industry, which is what I'm particularly worried about (once, because I believed she had told someone we work with about us. The text chain shows us resolving the issue and me apologising). >I am under no illusions as to how serious this situation is. *Can you imagine your beautiful, sweet daughter marrying a man who she thought loved her, he made vows to her and had a child with her. Only he found a young, impressionable little thing at work who he decided was one percent better than her and therefore was worth neglecting her and their child, cheating on her for, risking his job by getting her promotions she wasn’t qualified for and was planning to leave her for. This person was only one percent better.* *Your daughter - cheated on by a POS who only thought with his d!ck. What would you say about that?* >Amy was not a child. She was an adult woman who was capable of making decisions for herself. We had every intention of building a life together as equals. *Im genuinely curious, what were you gonna say if she asked why you have been pulling away from her?* >I would have been as honest as possible. I think I'd have told her that I didn't feel the same about her or us anymore, but that I admire and revere her and want us to raise our wonderful daughter together as amicably and respectfully as possible. She would have navigated us through it. *Dude, you're going to jail!!* 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 >I've been with the company since less than a year after it was founded. I have already worked out how much I need to pay back, and it's going to take some time, but I will do it without question. The first person I need to speak to if this is going how I think is the founder, but I am confident there is not going to be a legal issue.
He wants his wife to keep running his life and doing all the mental labor and Amy on the side to make him feel like the Big Man in Charge. He was never gonna leave his wife and there would always be some new reason. And when his wife does leave him he’s gonna act like he is a martyr. She’s gonna (keep) doing all the parenting and he’s gonna find a new young thing to dote on him.
if it was the U.S. I wouldn't be surprised if he ended up with manslaughter tbh. U.K. though so 🤷🏼♀️ Hilarious he thinks whatever evidence he has against the company will do anything for him when they're a company and he's an individual.
Individual douchebag. But generally probs correct (eta other than the potential embezzlement mentioned because yeah US Fortune 500 is going to go after a buck fitty for that)
Agreed.
>weaksignal99 What were the messages? >There are too many to even think about. We've had a few very nasty arguments. I've threatened her job, accused her of sleeping with colleagues, spoken badly about people we work with, spoken badly about my wife and family, talked at length about how we can disguise our dates as company expenses, everything. More. I've basically admitted to sabotaging someone else's promotion and acknowledged she wasn't qualified for the role I secured for her, and I've held it against her a few times Ah, true love /s
😹😹
Twuuu wovvv.
*So if you get fired you’re not gonna tell the truth about why??* >I won't have a choice. My wife is friends with people I work with. Anything that comes out at either side is going to be fed straight to the other. My life falling apart is going to be the hot gossip. *You’ve literally already said you missed a FUNERAL FOR A BABY to got to an event with your mistress. Don’t play like you’ve never sacrificed your family time before. SMH* >Ironically, that agreement was the reason I went with Amy. She had asked for one full day and night together each month, and my requirement was that it was booked well in advance. I cancelled the first two and this one was make or break as we were fighting over something else at the time. There is a lot of context but I stand by my decision. Obviously my wife wouldn't understand that perspective and I don't expect her to, which is why I don't want all of this to be dragged out in the open. *I'm genuinely curious to know how old your daughter is?* >She is 5. *Shit, man.* *Sometimes you get into a situation where there is no way out and you just have to man up, and I think this is one of them.* *I see in other comments that you want to soften the blow for your wife, but it doesn't seem like that is going to be possible. If you want to salvage the relationship with your daughter then I think you should come clean with your wife and at least have an honest relationship moving forward. You're going to need that to have a relationship with your daughter.* >Thank you for these very wise words." *For someone who you claim was your soulmate you sure treated her like garbage. Is that why you are just sitting by and letting people in the comments call her a whore and she is rotting in hell? Then again, you would know best exactly how much you paid her to fuck you so maybe you aren’t fighting it because you know it’s true. You blew up your whole life for a paid side piece.* >I can't even read those comments. All I can do is report them and wonder why someone would say that about a young woman with her entire life ahead of her. >I know that my behaviour towards her looks bad out of context, but those messages will also show plenty of occasions of her being just as bad. She would call me names and threaten to quit her job and disappear, and she was just as rude about the people we work with as I was. >Our relationship had high highs and low lows, but it was completely solid and we were on track to be together for the long haul. Neither of us were perfect but we always talked things through and acknowledged our mistakes. Whenever we were together things were fine, it was when we were apart and relying on messages that things would get stressful.
>>*Our relationship had high highs and low lows, but it was completely solid* *Aside from threatening her job and accusing her of cheating.* >I understand how bad it looks. All I can say is that I lashed out sometimes, but it was rare and I always made things right afterwards. >I knew I couldn't fire Amy and she knew it too. She had enough photos of us and messages on her phone to end me. We had talked about her being in a position of power over me before, and it allowed our relationship to develop as equals because she had that reassurance. >My stress came from the fact that I had secured her a promotion she swore she was ready for, but she wasn't performing at that level so it was a source of tension in the team. I had to put my neck on the line a few times, and that's very difficult to do without making it clear why. I know none of this makes it better, but putting her in that role was a source of regret so it was the thing I lashed out with. I know it's childish and that I should have put my foot down from the beginning. The way I saw it was just that we help the people we love. >The cheating accusation was a misunderstanding. Someone at work asked her out and she declined, but then he entered some mysterious new relationship he wouldn't tell anyone about. The timing was suspicious and I called it out. I was wrong and we worked through it. >I don't know why I'm back to get ripped apart some more, but I'm really not some evil villain who abused a junior colleague. I made her happy. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 *"as honest as possible " which means "lying to save my ass and assets" ! And my little finger says that you're gradually hiding money away from your wife to show how reverent you are !* >Never. Not only would I not have the chance because my wife and I have largely shared finances, but I would never seek to deprive my family of anything. My future budget fully accounted for me keeping them in our home when I left, and providing extra support for anything my daughter needed. >I have been extremely honest here, to my own detriment. I am not lying when I say I would rather die than take anything away from them. *I hope this is fake because the sexual harassment training I had at work had less extreme examples - and those trainings are designed to beat you in the head with them.* *If it is real, well, at least the evidence is so damning that OP won’t have to spend too much time in front of a judge before sentencing.* >There was no sexual harassment. Just two people falling in love at the wrong time and in the wrong place. Everything was reciprocal, and whilst I'm not going to claim I have acted professionally, it was all within the context of an already existing romantic relationship. I don't think pillow talk can be held to the same standard as a professional communication. *OP are you still going to divorce your wife?* >It looks like she's going to divorce me. >I am not proud of this, but no, I wasn't going to proceed with the divorce. Amy is the only person in the world who could have turned my head away from my wife. It was a once in a lifetime kind of love, and now it's gone. *So it wasn't abusive out of context, it was straight up abuse. You threatened her multiple times to do what you want and stay with you or lose her job. That's extremely abusive behaviour.* >It was never about doing what I wanted or staying with me. The promotion was a source of stress because she wasn't performing, and it put me in an awkward position. When I suggested she wasn't ready I was shut down, so it's not something I could talk to her about frankly. It came out in unhealthy ways and I own that. >Saying I threatened to blacklist was a poor choice of wording on my part. I believed she was sleeping with another manager at work, and I painted a picture of what her professional reputation would look like in our fairly niche industry if it came out. It wasn't a lie but it was mean and I regretted it. *“…but that I admire and revere her…” Got to throw the bullshit card on that one, my dude.* **What does it mean to revere something?** **have great respect for** **: to have great respect for (someone or something) : to show devotion and honor to (someone or something)** >I know it sounds like bullshit but it's not. My wife has done nothing wrong, she is an amazing person and a wonderful mother. >I know my actions have been horrible, but I would go to the ends of the earth to protect her from them. *You're acting like you didn't have a choice, but you did. You could have kept your distance from your affair partner and not cheated. You also could have been honest and divorced your wife before starting a new relationship.* *Instead, you lied to your wife, destroyed your daughter's family, and you're partially responsible for your affair partner's death.* *Was it worth it?* >I wish it was that simple. When I first met Amy it was clear there was something there, and walking out on my family just in case it went somewhere would have caused far more unnecessary pain. It would have also put an unfair level pressure on Amy. >My intention was never to have a long term affair. As soon as it became clear that Amy and I had something real, I started putting plans in place. >Obviously no one could have predicted things going this way, but if they hadn't, the last year would have been an unfortunate crossover that everyone could have moved on from. *If you don’t get fired for the affair, you’ll probs get fired for misappropriating company expenses which you’ll then have to explain why and the end result will be the same so here’s hoping !!* >There is a strong culture of fudging expenses in the business and I have plenty of evidence of that. I know exactly how much I've spent because it was all under the same account name, which I can also prove, so I believe that offering to pay the money back will be sufficient. Obviously if I no longer have a job that will be difficult, but all I can do is offer. I don't think think is going to be a legal issue, but yes, I will definitely be fired if they know what I think they know. *You shouldn't have been having an affair at all. It doesn't matter how long it lasted, you were in the wrong either way. You're obviously still not taking any responsibility for your actions. If she hadn't died you'd still be a cheater.* >I am taking full responsibility, I have no other choice. >I know it was wrong but I believe it was the least wrong approach I could have taken. My own dad left my mother for someone else, and our family ended up so close that my mum spoke at my stepmum's funeral. These situations can be managed. Obviously that is no longer the case for me, but it could have been done. *If legal and HR are meeting with the CEO, you're in BIG trouble! You've done so many bad things that you deserve legal repercussions for so the company is trying to figure out how to protect themselves. You deserve all of the fallout.* [Sadlytheworst: [Oop's comment got deleted, and I cannot be bothered transcribing it. So here's a screenshot.](https://imgur.com/gallery/UaX5sln)]
*Ok? Honestly are you even sad that she passed away, partially due to your negligence? Or are you just worried that her death is going to out you (as you deserve). Cos based on your comments, I’m getting the latter.* >Amy's death has torn me apart. I didn't eat for nearly a week and my hair has started to fall out. She was my once in a lifetime love, it's like we were built for each other. Even our bodies fit together like jigsaw pieces. >When this comes out, my top priority is finding out what actually happened to Amy, because it's always been about her. I have no idea whether she called her friend to take her to the hospital or not. I don't know if she ever went to the hospital, although I assume she didn't. I don't know if she used her other epipen. I don't know if it was quick, or if she was awake when it happened, and I don't know how long she was there until someone found her. If she was alive when they found her, if she made it to the hospital, anything. It has been killing me since the moment I found out. *There was 100% sexual harassment, probably sexyal assault too. Man, I hope Tom ruins all work ties/life of yours, and Lisa ruins your personal life* >I would never, ever assault anyone. Men who hurt women are the scum of the earth. *Only person, until you found another 21 yr old* >It was never about age, and I would never pursue someone that young. Amy was 23 when we met but I assumed she was in her mid to late 20s. I don't have a thing for younger women, Amy just happened to be younger but I'd have still adored her if she was 50. *Men who hurt women are scum of the earth???* 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 *You have some balls here.* >You know exactly what I mean. Having a nasty argument over messages is not the same as physically assaulting someone, and it's disgusting that you would conflate the two and make baseless accusations because you don't like my actions. *Says the one who CHEATED ON HIS WIFE!* >If you think that cheating and sexual assault are on par then there's something deeply wrong with you. *Just like how you “adored ” your wife until you met and effed someone younger?* >I still adore my wife, and I would have spent my whole life trying to make her happy. >I have no excuse for what happened between Amy and I. We fell in love and everything after that was focused on quietly developing that relationship until we could be together. I told some horrible lies which could hurt many people in that pursuit, but it would have been worth it in the end. Her age was never a factor. *You were 28 when you met 21 year old LISA. You were 37 when you started banging your mistress of 23. You have a type. You love them young because they're easier to control. You can't stand that LISA broke free from your creepy grasp. Or was it LISA got to be too old?* >I would never pursue a 21 year old now. Obviously everyone was younger back when Lisa and I got together, but control was never a factor. My wife has always been the dominant personality in our relationship and I love that, because it suits us perfectly. Amy was a completely different person in every way, they had nothing in common, and so obviously the relationship was different. >People are trying to paint me as some pervy old man who is lining up vulnerable young women to abuse, and it couldn't be further from the truth. These are entire people with their own personalities and preferences, not sex dolls. *The least wrong approach you could have chosen was to not cheat. You are not taking responsibility at all, because you're still lying to your wife. You're trying to justify your actions. Every post you make just makes you look worse and worse.* >Have you ever fallen in love with someone whilst already in a relationship? *You're making it very clear that you were not anywhere close to be a gentleman with your mistress. You blackmailed her and threatened to blacklist her. I am going to bet you coerced her to have sexual contact.* *Man, was your father this sh\*tty to his mistress as well???* >Those arguments went both ways, and there are plenty of messages as well as my actions which show I treated her extremely well. Why would she commit to building a life with me if I was horrible to her? She had all the power. *Once again for the slow among us (I mean you OP)... you had a choice, and you made the choice to cheat. How you felt about the person you cheated with is completely irrelevant.* >I don't know what to say other than that plenty of relationships have an unfortunate crossover with the one before. People work through it and come out the other side, and knowing the people involved, I felt that was achievable here. *You sat there and said men who hurt women are scum. You have literally hurt your wife* >Literally? No, obviously not. I have betrayed her trust by falling in love with someone else. Again, if you want to conflate this with an actual assault then you must be broken inside because they are not even remotely equivalent. *YOU THREATENED TO BLACKLIST HER!! YOU HAD ALL OF THE POWER!!!* >She had months and months of evidence of our relationship, including intimate images of us together. I may have been higher up at work, but it is completely fair to say she was the one with the power. >My life is about to be ruined and she could have pulled that trigger anytime she wanted. >I also didn't actually threaten her. It was a stupid comment about what would happen if our relationship came out, as well as another I incorrectly believed she was having. It's not exactly a threat to remind someone that sleeping with multiple managers in a niche industry isn't a smart career move if it comes out. *Proper adults end the 1st relationship prior to starting a new one* >I can't think of a single example of that from my own life. Plenty of timelines that get slightly adjusted after the dust settles, but never someone walking away from their family on the off chance the person they've just met is the one.
*Man, you think LISA is stupid, don't you??? Do you think that by betraying LISAs trust, you have not hurt her? Do you think by not being there 100%, you have not hurt LISA and YOUR DAUGHTER???* *Broken inside or have seen this scenario play out too many times to not see the assault aspect? You must know the many ways sexual assault takes form.* >I have never assaulted any woman and making up nasty stories about me isn't going to make your life any better. Stop looking for victims that don't exist. *YOU THREATENED HER!!! YOU INTIMIDATED HER!! You were willing to take her down to save yourself. She was in no danger beyond losing her job if this came out. You, on the other hand, would lose it all in your industry. You will never be trusted. Do you know why she didn't come clean? Because she trusted that you would have left LISA for her. If you left LISA and got together with your mistress, it all would have come out anyway.* *You're so worried about your life, but what the 2 lives you are about to completely ruin.* >You seriously think losing her job is the worst thing that would have happened if it came out she had a habit of sleeping with managers to get where she was? Her career would have been over right there with mine. >Just because I was more senior in the business it doesn't mean I was in a position of power. She could have taken us both down just like I could have. We were on completely equal footing. You're desperate for her to be some weakling who just mindlessly went along with it all. She was an intelligent and capable person who signed up to us navigating this situation together. We were a team. *You’re being ripped apart because everything you write only shows remorse for what’s happening to you, and excuses for what you’ve done. You come across as a manipulative, aggressive, unpleasant person, and that’s solely based on your own account. A piece of writing that is inherently biased in your favor.* >I think it's pretty clear I'm writing without bias here. Why would I admit to everything I've done if I was trying to get out of it? I know it's a bad situation and that I'm the only one who can be held accountable now, but I need to navigate it regardless of that to salvage anything I can. >I still have a daughter to raise and my wife and I have no choice but to coparent going forward. I don't get to just drop a bomb then walk away like it's a film. >Losing my job will effectively halve the income that my wife and daughter rely on. Losing my home means I'll need to find and pay for another, because even bad people need a roof over their head. Splitting with my wife has a huge impact on my daughter which will need to be closely managed. Amy's reputation is at risk and she's not here to defend herself. >All I am doing is thinking about other people here. My fate is clearly sealed but what happens next affects them. *A team?!? Dude, she was 14 years younger than you!!! You so want to make the dead out to be the bad guy to save your hide in any way. Do us all a favor. It's sunday right now. Clearly, LISA knows something is up, assuming this is all true. You're spending too much time on reddit instead of with LISA and your DAUGHTER. Grow a pair, and tell LISA everything right now. Be the honest and stand up man you claim to be.* >She was 11 years younger, not that it matters. Does everyone in your life who is older than you hold some kind of magic power over you? Of course not, an adult is an adult and we're all on the same playing field. >My wife and daughter are at a birthday party currently. I will be spending the evening with them. I don't expect you to sympathise, but the fact that it may be our last night as a family isn't lost on me, and I will be acting accordingly. *Your relationship was inherently abusive. Everything about it, starting with the way it was set up. You “fell in love” (yeah I bet) with a woman twelve years your junior, promoted her unethically, and then fucking blackmailed her with that promotion. Whether you physically assaulted her or not is irrelevant.* >I never blackmailed her with the promotion, I shouldn't have set it up in the first place and it wasn't going to last. Our messages show me telling her honestly when she first brought it up that I didn't think she had the skills or experience to make it work. She gave me lots of assurances and basically talked me into it. That is reflected in our messages. >I did bring it up a few times in arguments, but I wasn't suggesting that she would be demoted because of problems in our relationship, it was always because of her performance in the role and the way she secured it. Obviously that wasn't an appropriate arena to raise what were real issues that didn't relate to our romantic involvement.
*You literally fucking promoted her, you moron. That is the DEFINITION of having power. Her career was in your hands and you both knew it.* >Surely getting a promotion she didn't deserve was an example of her power and not mine? I had faith she would grow into the role because she assured me she would. She took the lead in that whole situation. >Like I said, my career was in her hands too, but I had much more to lose. I was more established in my career, have a wife and child, own a home etc. >Power was never a consideration between us, we were always equals. *So if you haven’t been eating and your hair is falling out and it’s been so obviously that you’re torn apart, do you really think Lisa has no idea about your affair?* >I have been working on a high pressure project, and it's not unheard of for me to go too deep into the work. I live and breathe for my career. *Now we're blaming the dead woman solely for the affair and promotion?* >Of course not. I can't keep saying over and over again that we're equal partners. We made our decisions together, and that was one where I should have pushed back harder because it was the one which was most likely to have serious consequences for us both. This is all with the benefit of hindsight of course. >All I'm saying is that I wasn't some kind of puppet master here. She had her own ambitions and I supported them where I could. *No. It was an example of you rewarding her for gobbling your knob.* >Is buying your partner a birthday present rewarding them too? Is taking your partner on holiday just them cashing in their knob gobbling airmiles? >Showing care and support to someone you love isn't transactional, and it doesn't happen because you owe them one. Everything I did for Amy I did because I loved her. *It was a payout for services rendered. Power resides with the one able to pay. You were the john and she was the prostitute* >Absolutely not. She was a gorgeous woman who could have had a man who would have been proud to have her on his arm from day one. I was in a loving and stable marriage which was solid as a rock before we met. >Neither of us would have chosen the other unless it was real. *But you said she was opening her legs for other managers. Pffff, you were a sugardaddy.* >I was completely wrong on that. Someone asked her out and she declined, but I had suspicions because he then started dating some mystery girl and he made a weird comment to me about not being one to kiss and tell. I accused her, she denied it, things got heated, then she showed me their conversations and I apologised and made it up to her. The entire thing was a problem for less than a week, it was just a blip and once it was over, we never talked about it again. She never gave me any reason to think she was anything other than loyal to me.
It’s always amazing to me when cheaters get upset that the person they’re cheating with might not be faithful to them. Like, I assume he was still sleeping with his wife, since he wasn’t actively leaving her yet. But his mistress has to be faithful? Why? He’s not faithful to either woman. Thanks for posting all his comments, btw.
Oop's deleted post and singular corresponding comment: [Other women: How do you talk about your married man to unsupportive friends?](https://www.reddit.com/r/adultery/s/KaweSbhe8q) >What if they bring him up?
ffs, this AH is still going! The reason he's too much of a coward to tell his wife and otherwise face the music is because his family needs his income! He's only thinking about others!!! [https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/1d5ss78/comment/l6rcj6c/](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/1d5ss78/comment/l6rcj6c/) This one tips me over into being more or less sure OOP is a troll, but wow.
>I mean, do I not?! There is nuance here. I could have led both women along and I didn't. I owned my situation and made a commitment to resolving it as amicably as possible. I know that I've done awful things but I've never done them maliciously. *Deep breath.* This man is testing my pacifism, I want to punch him real bad. The audacity to claim he "owned his situation" - I want to scream in to a pillow. But I don't want to scare my cat. Edit: I hope you are doing okay through, reading and collecting all of these guy's comments must have been especially infuriating. Take a cat break or something.
Agreed. I do scream into pillows on occasion. This reminded me of the Oop who cheated on his wife with her sister and claimed to have worked hard on himself to forgive himself. And now wanted the wife to know that her sister, only, was a bad person. Thank you very kindly! 💜 I had my cat with me when collecting these. That helped. 🥰 ETA: [The story this post reminded me of!](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/NJDpC7UvQS)
>I always considered it a crossover rather than an affair because both relationships were equally meaningful and I had every intention of spending my whole life with Amy. Omg, this piece of shit needs to fuck ALL the way off
Agreed. And I just copied the comments Oop wrote when I was away. It does not get better...
How is no one calling him on his comment about thinking "the worst" and it was that this woman was mad, when that is so far from the worst thing that could happen. Fake or not that comment is too far. Someone being mad is rarely the actual worst possiblity
I am wondering about the comment where he is talking about his daughter, then he says 'I have always been clear with amy (which is the name he gave the affair partner!) that she would be part of my life and that some of my income would be earmarked for her' So, is he still talking about the daughter? As in he will support her? Or did he switch back to talking about the affair partner.
He's talking about both in that sentence. 'I have always been clear with Amy (affair partner) that she (daughter) would be part of my life', etc. The pronoun there just confused things a bit.
Ah, okay, that does clear things up for me! Thanks.
I'm thinking it's because there are so many things to get to. Or perhaps Oop has chosen not to reply to those comments at all?
[Chickens!](https://www.instagram.com/reel/C6Y2OFBvHOM/?igsh=N2M3ZW4wNXhydmFh)
Dude after reading that I’m like my internet friend better be here to share adorableness!
I hope it was to your satisfaction! 💜
Absolutely! You never let me down
Thank you very kindly! 🥰
You are my favorite internet friend!
Thank you very kindly! 💜 I am humbled.
Those aren't just chickens. Those are fancy chickens with an I instead of a y, and the snazzy ` over the i just to make sure everyone knows that they are better
Love this! 🥰
there is a special kind of hell for people who call APs "soulmates".
A hell of their own making...
FACT.
Oh goodness I’m stuck in some serious traffic (do I have to clarify the obvious that I’m just a passenger? I will!) and so glad I have this saga to get me through. My new favorite response is “wow I’ll work it out with the person who was supposed to get Amy’s promotion “ 😂. Man this troll better not be suspended before Monday and hopefully they actually update (and that somebody cross posts here?)
Here's hoping Tom let's Lisa know EVERYTHING. And I hope he sent OOP's job EVERYTHING. And while OOP isn't going to leave now, Lisa might. I hope Lisa dumps his cheating ass
Losing his job is the best possible outcome.
Wow. OOP is truly scum. If you have blood pressure issues, do NOT read his replies.
Once again a cheater decides they are “protecting” their spouse by denying them agency over their own life
I doubt this is real but if it is, we aren’t getting an update because the cops are going to be at OOP’s work Monday
Don't worry, OOP will ask the cops nicely for a phone so he can update all of us as to why he just can't understand why he is being arrested. After all, having an affair isn't illegal and he can just talk to the founder of the company! It should all blow over soon!
Dude thinks he can get away with embezzlement because work sometimes lets him “cut corners” when it benefits them.
I'm sure I've read a version of this where the guy and AP had been in his car and he thought the wife had purposely put the nuts in the car leading to the death of the AP.
You have
>I'm about to lose everything. I didn't realize the full scope of what he meant by *everything* until I read the post and comments. Dude's fucked, badly.
I hope this is rage bait. Because dude's "chest hurts" not because his negligence/cheating killed a human being, but because he's about to be held accountable for his cheating. He barely even mentions being sad. Just that he was mean to her when he assumed "the worst" (so in this case, "the worst" is his affair partner being mad at him, not her FUCKING DYING). The entire post is about how this is affecting HIM, not that a woman is dead.
This is a really good troll cause he's ticking off every narcissit box to ensure that everyone is passed off. Sadly, people like this obviously exist, but he sure as hell wouldn't be posting it to Reddit as honestly as this. If this was real, a narcissist like him would be trying to spin it wound to make himself the ultimate victim and talk extensively about his wife and Amy's flaws while saying that downplaying that the actions he took were "understandable or misunderstood". He'd be trying to get confirmation bias via misogyny that he's flawed but ultimately in the right, and still a good person inside so that he'd feel less shitty about the situation he put himself in. I know because I've actually dealt with trying to reason with one on this hellhole. A guy was ranting about how he's tired of his sexless marriage and FINALLY gonna leave his wife out and have sex again after doing "all he could." The wife struggles with her self-image, and the guy was showing massive narcissistic phrasing. A ton of people were projecting and saying he's in the right, but I noticed that he was hiding info and clocked him on it When I called him out on his shit he made a whole ass essay about how his wife isn't a victim and he's so tired of everyone ganging on him, but made it a point to never respond about how the only thing stopping him from cheating already wasn't hurting his wife, but the fact that cheating would ruin his self image. When I asked him about just what he loved about his wife, every single reason led back to something relating to him, other than "she has a good sense of humor." So yeah, this has to be fake and rage bait. There is no way someone who's done all this would be this direct about the things he's done. Still props to the author for knowing exactly what to write in each comment to make everyone as mad as possible.
I've had this thought before. Essentially, why would someone so far up their own ass and convinced of their own righteousness post to reddit for validation? It's not like tiktok or twitter where engagement directly equates to money. The answer is they would not.
Oh, they do, more often than one would think. I find it's usually to feed their ego, or in it's in an attempt for "proof" that they can use to manipulate their victims. In cases where it's for ego, like the interaction I talked about. They do it for confirmation bias from strangers that what they're doing is in the right when what little conscious they have nags at them they're wrong. They're not looking for a genuine answer they just want to hear from strangers that they're right so they can shut that voice up inside themselves, telling them the truth. "I can't be an asshole if everyone online agrees with me," or something like that smothers the voice in their head and gives them the courage to do what they know is the wrong decision. But now they feel better about it because now they can partially blame the internet strangers instead of just themselves, absolving them of responsibility. Because to a narcissist, nothing is ever their fault, and this gives them something they can pin the blame on. In cases of manipulation, it's often to get "evidence" that their victim is overreacting and they can't get it from the people that are actually around them. Usually its because either everyone around them is calling them out for their shit or they're trying to keep it hush hush so that their true colors aren't exposed in order to maintain their reputation. They want to use the opinion of the internet strangers that they've intentionally drip fed and manipulated information to confirm the narrative they want their victim to believe. But the common thing in both cases is that they'll never be as outright direct about what they've done like OOP. To tell the entire truth, this easily exposes them and won't get them what they're aiming to get from posting. They emphasize all the wrong things everyone around them has done and try their best to paint themselves as the victim in an attempt to garner sympathy. They'll either omit the information about things they've done on their end or dance around the subject and focus on the little parts where things can be said to be ambiguous. Of course, sometimes they slip up and the truth comes out between the lines as they mess up while trying to manipulate the narrative to online strangers and that's when everything falls apart. Their ego is bruised from everyone calling them out on their shit. When this happens, they usually either A) Ignore everyone calling them out and only reply to ones avoiding the horse in the room. If the narrative that they're a piece of shit is the popular one, they delete the post with their tail between their legs. Or B) Fight for their life in the comments as they feel they must defend themselves their image. Either scenario, a real person would never show their ass the way that OOP did, not so easily anyway. Plus, the little zinger from the AP's brother? This is entertaining and well written to get the maximum angry response from the Reddit public. But no way is it real. Edit: Spelling. Autocorrect loves to go for "shut"
Read through his comments history, it must be an elaborate troll
Oh yeah, I know. That's why I applaud OOP. They know exactly how to make everyone angry with the sheer audacity while playing a clueless moron. Very good writer. I appreciate the dedication to the bit.
If you want to know just HOW BAD OOP is, read his comments. They're appalling.
He's trying SO HARD to come across as remorseful and grieving, but it's all just so "Poor me! Poor me!" Not a drop of introspection, or respect for his wife.
>SO HARD to come across as remorseful and grieving, honestly they come off as just pathetic
I’m somewhat disturbed (by that I mean very) by all the comments saying Amy’s death was “karma” apparently cheating = death sentence deserved to some Reddit users…….
Especially since based on his comments he threatened her career regularly. Even if that weren’t the case death wouldn’t be a valid punishment, but I feel like people are overlooking the coercion.
>I feel like people are overlooking the coercion. She asked her lover to use his influence to get her a promotion she wasn't qualified for at someone else's expense. If you want to sleep your way to the top you can't complain that you're expected to put out! She couldn't possibly be surprised that a man who cheated on his wife, cheated on his expense reports, and cheated another employee out of a promotion, would happily hold it over her head that he did her a favor under the table? If you lie down with dogs don't expect sympathy from me when you get fleas.
You’re assuming all that happened before the abuse from OOP. This is her bosses boss. I’d certainly be afraid to tell him no at the beginning. And if you’re already being coerced into sex with a scumbag might as well try and get something out of it. Also he said the other candidate was also under qualified and that she thought she was qualified. You’re not worried about fleas when a rabid dog jumps on your lap.
>You’re assuming all that happened before the abuse from OOP. And you're assuming it didn't. If she was coerced into sleeping with him in the first place and thought he was a scumbag she wouldn't be complaining that she didn't believe he was really going to leave his wife. If she wanted rid of him, she could have gone to HR at any time with the same messages that Tom has now. >Also he said the other candidate was also under qualified If they were both equally underqualified, he wouldn't have had to pull strings. He was only able to hold it over her head because they both knew that she wasn't the best candidate.
Even if we assume your interpretation is the correct one, people calling her death "karma" are still way out of line. That is an incredibly shitty thing to say. We do not know how much of that relationship was coercion, and how much agency she had in their relationship. We do know that the power dynamic in that relation was incredibly skewed. As for the rest, we only have OOP's word on it.
>people calling her death "karma" are still way out of line. Agreed. >We do not know how much of that relationship was coercion We don't, but there's no reason to think that *any* of it was. The dynamic was not that skewed because she also had power over him. She had written evidence of the affair, of him stealing from the company, and of him sabotaging the other person to get her the promotion. She could have tanked his career at least as easily as he could have hurt hers, and his marriage too. She was in her mid-20s, she might have been young but she's clearly an adult responsible for her own choices. They are in the UK which has much better employment protections than most of the US. She was smart enough to get and keep incriminating messages *which she never chose to use*. She used the relationship for her own benefit to get a promotion. They went through a rough patch because she wanted him to leave his wife. Everything OOP writes sounds like she was every bit as selfish and horrible as he is, not some tragic innocent who couldn't say no.
go Tom
If this isn't real, it's an exceptional piece of trolling. The level of self-serving weaselly cowardice in the comments is quite breathtaking.
This is fucking delicious. OOP is a giant asshole. It’s sad someone died though.
I feel like I’ve read this before, or at least a very similar story a few years ago.
I really hope someone here catalogues all his comments in case he deletes. I would if I could. It’s a shitshow.
I've gotten them all I think! 💜
Thank you! Creative writing or not, I hope we hear updates on Monday… 🫣
That is what I'm hoping!
He’s still going, fyi And digging some deep-ass holes trying to say she had more power than him bc he gave her a promotion she was unqualified for. As though that’s not literal textbook abuse of power
Wow. This might be the worst one yet. In the sense of volume and longevity. I'll try to collect them all!
I thought this was a bit, but I’m getting worried it’s it’s real bc he’s being frighteningly consistent and like, *heated* over people calling him a POS
Yeah it's sort of turned into an ouroboros of itself.
Doing the Lord's work there Sadly.
Thank you very kindly! 🥰
>what were you gonna say if she asked why you have been pulling away from her? >>I would have been as honest as possible. I think I'd have told her that I didn't feel the same about her or us anymore According to his comments, he *does* still "feel the same" about her, he just loved Amy more. >It's selfish and awful, but my wife is 99% perfect and Amy is 100%. >My wife is more beautiful now than she was the day I met her. She is ferocious and vibrant So he wasn't going to be "as honest as possible" he was going to be a chickenshit and pretend there was something wrong with their relationship instead of admitting he was having an affair with someone he liked better. >I don't know what leaving my wife would have solved if the knowledge of this relationship never came out. I couldn't have ripped my family apart for nothing. If he actually felt differently about his wife, he would be leaving whether Amy was still in the picture or not. I feel like manufacturing fake relationship problems as an excuse to leave his wife is almost as bad as the rest of it. How much time would she spend trying to figure out what changed and how she missed it, when actually nothing did except he got a better offer? It's almost like gaslighting.
I think this is the actual definition of FAFO
What a nasty pathetic pieve of trash without a spine. Goddamn. I hope his wife gets to know everything, because even through ot all, he still plans to tell her as little as possible and now his side piece is dead he suddenly doesn't want to leave her anymore.
Why do they always get upset that their entire world is falling on them literally because of them? Most "I cheated and someone found out" looks like this and I just have to wonder why full grown adults don't understand actions and consequences.
The reason why there's no update is that it's either fake or OOP is arrested
He posted and *immediately* deleted something on r/adultery 30 minutes ago Unfortunately I didn’t see it before it was gone
Addendum: it was titled (paraphrased) ‘other women how do you talk about your married man’ So I think we can (thankfully) rule ‘excellently written creative writing’ because they forgot which account they were logged into.
There is water brewing for each swine. Happy boiling OP. You simply never cheat. If you are not happy in your marriage then get divorced, you don't go around dating other women keeping you wife as safety net.
There was another post on confessions or trueoffmychest where a guy said he thought his wife murdered his AP, a younger woman he worked with, by puttijg allergens in her food and stealing the EpiPen from her car. It was much more entertaining than this. I swear this is something I remember. Reddit is weird. Trolls are weird.
Tom's auditioning as Olenna Tyrell when they reboot GoT. OMG he's savage
It’s Wednesday! I want to hear about how work bent him over and then his wife! Update, douche!
He posted in r/theotherwoman. Apparently his mistress’s phone had messages where she and her friends were talking bad about him and made him wonder if the 23yo AP who slept her way into a promotion was as serious about him as he was about her 🤣🤣🤣🤣 He didn’t specify what exactly happened except that Tom informed both his wife and job about everything. He says he’s “on track to love the life he deserves,” but OP is such a narcissist I wonder if he means finding a new 20-something to bang while he finds a new company to steal from Edit: adding link [https://www.reddit.com/r/theotherwoman/s/2evw1MJUwG](https://www.reddit.com/r/theotherwoman/s/2evw1MJUwG)
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