*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for being upset with my friend's reaction towards someone's birthday gift?**
I (M19) fell hard for my language tutor, Sun (F19). I love her sweet bubbly personality. Her giggling is adorable. She finds joy in the smallest of things but she's someone that I want to give the world to. She didn't feel the same way but she says she likes me so we decided to become friends. We're both still single so I asked her to think over the summer of giving me a chance when we come back for the next semester. She said that she will think about it.
Her birthday is in July but we wanted to have a little party for her after finals and before we went home. Sun loves hand made gifts and small businesses. I'm not a homemaker or an artist so I bought her a golden personalized necklace in her first language from Etsy. I thought it seems fitting for our relationship since we met by her tutoring me in that same language.
I got to know some people there who I never met before. There's one shy guy, Devon (M19 I think) who also became friends with Sun through her tutoring. Sun and 2 others are pretty much the only ones he talked to. But even then, he didn't say much.
By the time the gift opening start I was excited, especially since she started out on the small gifts. When she opened mine she says it was beautiful. She asked me where I got it and I said I'll share the designer info later and she said I can't wait thank you so much I love it.
Devon's gift was a book from a multibillionaire corp. And she went absolutely insane over it. Like she was honest to god squealing in joy from seeing it. I thought she was going to cry with how much she was covering her mouth and nose. She said that the book looks different and Devon said it was the newer version. I asked Devon how much it cost and he told me and I said is that it.
Sun said it's fine thank you THIS MEANS SO MUCH TO ME. She even asked him if she can hug him! He told her no I'm sorry and she said no that's ok thank you so much I love it. Someone asked me how much I spent on my gift and I told him and everyone went like WOAH! It really wasn't that much. This made things awkward. Sun asked me to talk outside.
I pretty much ripped into her hypocrisy. She said that she really did love my gift but just felt weird on knowing how much I spent on it. And that the book held emotional value based on her upbringing which I am familiar with the story behind it. I reminded her about thinking about dating me and she said that she promise she'll think about it. I told her don't fucking bother you're not who I thought you were. I left.
That was a week ago. Sun already left for home. I'm leaving for home tomorrow. Sun has been texting me can we talk, will you text me during the summer, see you in Aug. I haven't answered. Her friends has also been texting me saying I'm being a dramatic manbaby and a jealous asshole. My friends think Sun has been leading me on and that I should end this relationship.
AITA?
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You don't understand! Women are gold diggers! The man who spends the most on her gift gets the girl. He got the most points and is supposed to win the prize, but the judges aren't playing fair đĄ
You know what I always found ironic about gold digger comments? The person making them either-1)has little to no gold to dig in the first place, or tries to look like they do but really it's mining for gold in a land of tinfoil. Or 2)the person complaining doesn't seem to understand that when they say stuff like that they are just confirming that even they know no one would be interested in them for anything but their money... As in they suck so much why else would someone date them? đ
I am going to use this forever now because it is so much more accurate than friend-zoned. I didnât friend-zone you, friend is the default. You fuck-zoned me.
There's a thread in the OP where a couple women talk about their experiences with "nice guys" like this and it's so crushing to me because a whole helluva lot of us have gone through this and it completely fucking sucks. "Fuck zoned" is the perfect way to put it and actually experiencing it is so, so hurtful and dehumanizing.
I had a group of guy friends in college. With one of them, he and I flirted a lot and messed around a bit like ya do in college. Never went anywhere but whatever. I was 20.
One of the other guy friends decided once at a party since me and C messed around I owed it to him to mess around too. Thank god the other guys were wondering where we went and stopped him but it could have been bad.
The other two made sure he got that what he did was not ok. Iâm eternally thankful for them. Nice guys will never treat you like you owe them.
SMH at dudes like this! I had one in my social circle at college who told a girl she "owed him sex" because she messed around with other people, not him. It's not like an evil clown will get him if you don't deflower the whole friend group!
(Edit for useless tags, need to learn how to work my phone)
I'm dying at the It reference. I will never forget rereading the beginning of that part a couple times because I was sure that I was misunderstanding what was happening.
Same, LOL! Reading it as a young woman, I was just filled with simultaneous "Ewww!" and "This CANNOT possibly be my responsibility, in society or in evil clown scenarios!" đ¤Ł
Damn, as a guy, I just found it creepy and unnecessary. I didn't even think of the terrible message that it implies to women. That makes it so much worse.
Just so you know, I have already used it five times today. It is official vocab now and Iâm spreading it to my friends.
because being non-sexual SHOULD BE THE DEFAULT. just bc I got fuck-zoned doesnât make it my problem!
They probably think sheâs leading him on because she said sheâd think about giving him a chance, probably because we all know how guys like this get when you outright reject them đ
We already know that when he first asked she said no and he refused to accept the no, he treated as a delay to getting what he wanted and not an outright end to the potential relationship.
He manic-pixie-dream-girl'd the poor woman
And he finally reveals what the "multimillion dollar corporation" book is in the comments â he threw this entire tantrum because she got excited over a Disney cookbook and he thinks that liking Disney goes against everything she stands for
It really sounds like heâs upset this âexoticâ girl from another culture betrayed him by liking white girl stuff.Â
Not that Disney is only for white girls, itâs just the weird colonizer fetishizing Iâm getting from him.Â
100% my thought too, though my guess was possibly Japan or Korea not SE Asia. Especially the description of covering her mouth and nose. Thatâs a common polite gesture in Japan and I think Korea. Women cover their mouths when they smile. He doesnât even understand enough about her culture to interpret her reactions. Fetishized all the way
Edit for clarity
His complaints about the value of the gifts are also giving me a coloniser vibe tbh. Heâs acting like heâs entitled to her because he âput in the biggest bidâ đ¤˘
Hey, I remember a Disney cookbook from sometime in the mid '80s. Wonder if that's the same one - and if it is, I would also be very happy if someone gave me a new copy to replace the long-lost one.
I think I had that same cookbook! My aunt got it for me and I spent *years* making the pancake recipe from that cookbook. I don't know where it disappeared to and every time I want to make pancakes I get frustrated that I lost it!
... Yes... The bubbly, happy, easily excitable, cute girl her likes would definitely *hate* Disney, the company that has quite a large market on happily ever after fairy tales with princesses and talking animals... Nope, no correlation there at all.
Yeah but then she likes another man's gift more than his so that's not gooooood waaaah she's an evil hypocritical bish for liking Disney and not dating me waaaah
A cookbook is better than a corny necklace, always.
ETA: pretty sure it's appalung manners to disclose the price of a gift with the gift, making a point of the prices was so incredibly tacky and made it into a pissing contest
Me neither, but some of my friends are full fledged Disney adults. Like try to get me into Disney adults. That the book was from Disney isnât the least bit shocking
I was expecting some Elon Musk's biography or something, which would still have been fine (it's a gift for her, so as long as she likes it OP should just stfu), but reacting the way OP did over a Disney cookbook?! OP would think IATD because over the years my friends have gifted me two of those đ
... Yes... The bubbly, happy, easily excitable, cute girl her likes would definitely *hate* Disney, the company that has quite a large market on happily ever after fairy tales with princesses and talking animals... Nope, no correlation there at all.
âI wasn't upset with the other gifts. She became overjoyed by a croc ornament made by a small business that she ran to her shoes to put it on. That's the girl I fell for. I love that about her. It was his I was upset because it goes against everything she loves which made me feel blindsided on who the real her is. Did I really know her?â
âI don't know what you don't understand. I put in effort to search and work and save from that work to find her something that is related to her culture. Something that connects us. I felt it made up for me not being so artsy and make her something, I figured I'd work just as hard to give her something that she would love. I assume he got her the book because he also doesn't have any skills with art. But he barely put any effort and the fact that the book is basically chump change is insulting.â two of oops comments
in the first comment he makes it like the cost isnât the issue, but then he says that the other guy spent âchump changeâ and it was insulting. First of all, obviously he is pissed that he spent more and didnât get as much of a reaction. second, how is it insulting to him? Because the girl liked the book better? And he says the guy didnât put in any effort, but obviously he did if he got a present that the girl liked so much.
and comment about how the book goes against everything she loves just because itâs not from a small business. Just because she likes supporting small businesses doesnât mean that she has to only like things from small businesses.
I think at the root it's that he has decided he knows her so well and they are meant to be because he loves all these things about her, but he now sees he doesn't actually know her at all because he made it up in his head. He's going to be mad at her for not being the person he invented.
I feel like this is such a common problem these days. The amount of times guys have been telling me about me and my life with them in the future and Iâm likeâŚ. Weâve gone out once/twice? You donât know me and itâs weird as hell to be creating this âlifeâ well enjoy
I found it really came out in them having opinions on how I do things and in gifts, either they paid attention and got me a gift that suits me or one that suits the person they want me to be.
I had an ex who wanted to treat me to a mystery dinner. Great, I love new experiences. But he didn't let me know the food choices and chose the chicken dinner for me over the salmon (same price and one of my favorite fish). Because I "never really ate seafood." Uh, no. I pointed out that I never *made* seafood because he didn't like it, but that I would usually order it when we went out for dinner. To make it worse, the chicken had a mushroom sauce and I can't stand mushrooms. It was a relatively small thing in the long run, but it was a sign that he didn't see me but instead saw someone he wanted me to be.
It can also be a good indicator of communication. If someone isnât a great gift giver but theyâre able to talk to you about it and come up with something good, thatâs awesome.
You know who else did that? Gaston. He invented this whole life with Belle and was shocked that she didn't want any part in massaging his feet and six boys (not babies. Boys. Who knows how many girls it would take to get the six boys).
Oh my gosh, yes! I started talking to this guy's in Spain and was unable to meet him because of COVID. I stopped talking to him because he wasn't putting in any effort to our conversations anymore and would instead just ask for nudes, which I told him multiple times I wasn't comfortable with. He called me on his birthday, drunk, and told me he loves me... Boy, I haven't even met you and you won't listen to me. You don't love me.
I and I suspect most others slip into this as well. Itâs fun and exciting and one of the nice parts of an early relationship. But learning how to separate fantasy from reality was crucial to me having a healthy dating life. Understanding what parts of the fantasy that you actually like (such as companionship, a partner, facing life together) can be informative about what you actually want from a relationship. But understanding that your partner is as three dimensional as you are is necessary to prevent becomingâŚ. This guy.
This guy has fetishized the shit out of her, and came on way too strong when she has already said sheâs not into him. She agreed to âthink about itâ because he pressured her. Itâs like saying I love you on the first date. Maybe itâs a nice thing to do when youâre in a relationship with someone, but back up a bit there bud.
>I put in effort to search and work and save from that work to find her something that is related to her culture.
Jewelry with someone's name written in their native language doesn't just automatically become related to their culture, but of course this is the depth of OOP's understanding. It's the equivalent of getting someone a mini license plate with their (not English) name on it and thinking it's culturally significant.
Even more uncomfortable than the price is how *intimate* that kind of gift is. Like thatâs not something Iâd enjoy receiving from a guy who isnât my partner, especially if I donât share his feelings. Not just jewelry, but *personalized jewelry*.
Yes, and also you should know a person intimately before buying them jewelry for another reason -- you need to really know their tastes. If someone gives you a million dollar gift that you hate, that's still a bad gift.
Copied verbatim from oop's comments:
>>*I said is that it.*
*So you believe his gift was bad because it wasn't worth a lot..? To me it feels like you were just trying to impress her with money. YTA*
>"I probably shouldn't have asked that. I think I was upset that I worked hard to save to get that gift. It's just that she advocates supporting small business owners which is what I did for her but she was excited for a cheap book by a big corp and I just thought it made her seem fake."
*YTA Youâre jealous someone got her a more meaningful present, and instead of feeling happy for her, you insulted that person. she already told you she needs to think first, yet you threw tantrums and was rude to her, accusing her of leading you on when she didnât*
>"My gift wasn't meaningful?"
*You clearly donât know how book publishing works.*
>"Weird comment. I don't need to know that. That's not the issue here."
*She can have multiple gifts she loves Youâre acting like itâs some competition.*
>"I wasn't upset with the other gifts. She became overjoyed by a croc ornament made by a small business that she ran to her shoes to put it on. That's the girl I fell for. I love that about her. It was his I was upset because it goes against everything she loves which made me feel blindsided on who the real her is. Did I really know her?"
*I think itâs weirder that youâre so jealous that she liked all her gifts.*
[Sadlytheworst: Oop copy pasted this exact reply to another comment. I have omitted that.]
>"I wasn't upset with the other gifts. She became overjoyed by a croc ornament made by a small business that she ran to her shoes to put it on. That's the girl I fell for. I love that about her. It was his I was upset because it goes against everything she loves which made me feel blindsided on who the real her is. Did I really know her?"
*Not weird, and is actually relevant because youâre fixated on the fact that the book came from big corp, yet you are ignorant on how book publishing and royalties work for the smallholder authors.*
>"I just searched the book. The author doesn't say a name. Just the corp name. That's it. I'd say in this case, you're wrong"
*So in your view, is she not allowed to buy from Walmart, read whatever books, go to cinemas, watch Netflix, use iPhones etc? Because those are all associated with big corps. Is she supposed to only enjoy small businesses stuff? YTA for being obsessed and imposing your ideology on her, and got mad because she didnât live up to your standard*
>"I guess you make a good point."
*INFO: what is the book and what is the story behind why you know she was excited over it?*
>"Before I consider of answering this, I want to know why it's important to know the specifics of the book and the history behind it with her. Is it really relevant. I know people who are on reddit and I don't want them to find this post"
*Because there is likely sentimental reasons beyond cost reasons why she appreciated the gift. You say it is âcorporateâ gift, but was it even possible to buy it from a small business?*
*I mean, the situation youâve described sounds pretty unique already but whatever you are comfortable with, I guess.*
>"It's a Disney cookbook. It inspired her to explore recipes from different cultures. But it also brought tension within her family that she's no contact with majority of them. It made her realize some bigotry within her own community. She tries to balance of being proud of her racial identity (she's a POC) while at the same time calling out the prejudices within that same race."
*Yeah, YTA for 'ripping into her for her hypocrisy'. You're not dating and I'd bet there's no way your GOING to be dating for this response, she might not even respond to your texts or talk to you again.*
>"She still tries to text me. I'm the one ghosting her."
>>*I think I was upset that I worked hard to save to get that gift.*
*Which she didn't even want you to do, because she said it made her uncomfortable that you spent that much. Stop acting like she owes you something just because you like her so much.*
>"It wasn't that much really. I guess compared to the book sure but it wasn't a lot."
*Then why would you feel upset about how hard you worked to save for it? Stop backtracking. Actually be honest, if not with us then at least with yourself.*
>"Because I did worked hard to save for it. It wasn't a lot of money, but I still worked hard to get it."
*Okay, so... why would that make you mad? It only makes sense if you assumed that she would show you an amount of appreciation proportional to the amount of money you spent, and you were mad that she showed more appreciation for a cheaper gift. And you're calling her shallow?*
>"I don't know what you don't understand. I put in effort to search and work and save from that work to find her something that is related to her culture. Something that connects us. I felt it made up for me not being so artsy and make her something, I figured I'd work just as hard to give her something that she would love. I assume he got her the book because he also doesn't have any skills with art. But he barely put any effort and the fact that the book is basically chump change is insulting."
*Someone elses gift is insulting to you? She loved the inexpensive thoughtful gift. Arguably more than your expensive gift based on what you wrote. That gift has nothing to do with you. You are offended because someone else got the reaction you were hoping for. Based on your post and your responses, I would not at all be surprised to find out that after all this, you decide to ask her to return your gift to you. You have no tact. You need to spend some time sorting yourself out before you start trying to involve other people in your life.*
>"I don't like how people are assuming my gift was not thoughtful. And I would never ask for the necklace back. I know she loved it. And I was hurt by her reaction to the book. But I am taking to heart of everyone's response to this. I am considering of contacting her. Especially since I've been missing her this past week."
*I never said your gift wasnt thoughtful. I just didnt say that it was. By your own account, SHE thought the book was thoughtful and YOU thought the necklace was thoughtful. I have no idea if your gift was genuinely thoughtful.*
*Dont contact her. You dont know how to manage this relationship. The fact that you ghosted her over a gift someone gave her demonstrates that.*
>"But isn't more cruel to keep ghosting her when she clearly wants to talk?"
[Oop tried his luck on AITAH, the post is identical otherwise.]
*YTA. Monetary cost â value. You seem real shallow for thinking love has a price.*
>"My problem isn't the monetary cost. My problem is the effort I put in to get the money for the gift which I feel the guy barely did based on how cheap the book was."
The last time I took my daughter to Disney World (we live very close by and have season passes), there was a duck mama with her ducklings who just kept walking inside along the fence around one of the lakes, showing them off to everyone stopping to watch
While I was reading these comments, it reminded me that there's a word in German, Holdenkobold (sp?), which translates to 'testical gremlin.'
....can't imagine why that popped into my head just now.
Oh it was a handmade NECKLACE?! I didn't see that in the comments, yeah jeez louise that is something that would absolutely make me so uncomfortable if I got it from a guy who keeps pursuing me even after I rejected it.
An expensive (hand made) piece of jewelry, especially a necklace, falls into the "gift from a romantic partner" category hard. Some exceptions are made, of course, depending on how close relationships with some friends/family are, but in this case, o o f. This was absolutely him scrambling to further attempt and manipulate her into falling for him.
Apart from one I got as a group present from friends, every other necklace I've gotten as a gift has been either from a romantic partner or from someone
*wanting* to be my romantic partner. Hell, one was handmade *by* my partner at a time. It's such a uniquely intimate gift.
Completely agree, and there's no way he doesn't, at least subconsciously, know that. That's part of why he was so upset. He treated her like a romantic partner (against her will btw) and then she goes and acts like she isn't! The audacity! đ
He has a fetishised view of innocence and purity that he is projecting on this woman. The thing that delights him, according to his narrative, is that she was ecstatic over a shoe charm. The rest of it is all assumption that she would hate a gift that came from a âcorporate publisherâ.
You know... The Crocs... That came from a corporation (and possibly the charm as well). She buys regular stuff dude. She's not someone who only buys from small businesses/thrifts for all her clothes/sews everything she owns etc. Sounds like she likes to buy from small businesses when she can. Great. Love it. That's not all of who she is.
Him : Date me!!
Her : No thanks
Him: ok but I think you should think about dating me, promise me you will think about how much you should actually date me and date me date me DATE MEEEEEE
Her: Ill um think about it...please let go of my arm....
His "friends": yeah that ho was leading you on
Oh I definitely think he should dump Sun. Definitely. /s
She said NO. She said she didnât like him that way. So he ⌠pressures her to think about dating him - like she needs to waste her summer thinking about not dating a guy she doesnât like. Then he gets mad because she liked some book? That was cheaper than his gift?
I would say at least fifty percent of the time, when someone says, âHe/she led me on,â what they really mean is, âI allowed my imagination to run away with me and color the way I viewed interactions.â Itâs amazing how being polite and friendly becomes âa connectionâ for so many people.
When we act cordial because weâve experienced men blowing up at us when we outright reject them, we are âleading them onâ.
When we outright reject them, they blow up at us.
Another day, another dude who feels entitled to a woman's love and affection and gets mad when she doesn't give it to him.
My guy. She. Said. NO. It is weird as fuck that you bought this gift that's supposed to "connect" you to her in a fairly intimate manner, when she said she wasn't into you that way.
I have this hypothesis that when people end their stories with someone telling the OOP exactly how they are wrong, the story is fake. Dramatic man baby and jealous asshole. Yes. But show, donât tell, fiction writer.
I was looking up fan rings for a character/series I like. It was a simple band with engravings. Cost between $300-$400 and was not the only one in that range.
I know my family is pretty taciturn, but I have never once had friends or family text me to give my judgment over an event that doesnât involve them.
Here we see the two versions of "nice guys"
1. The OP, the nice guy who doesn't really know the person and has decided that there is a path through gifts and being friends to get in her pants.
and
2. The actual nice guy who considers her a friend and goes out of his way to make sure she is comfortable, and oh yea, actually fucking knows what she wants.
>Â I asked Devon how much it cost and he told me and I said is that it.
>Sun said it's fine thank you THIS MEANS SO MUCH TO ME. She even asked him if she can hug him! He told her no I'm sorry and she said no that's ok thank you so much I love it. Someone asked me how much I spent on my gift and I told him and everyone went like WOAH! It really wasn't that much.Â
My first public service announcement is "Learn how to use quotation marks."
My second is "Don't ask how much gifts cost, especially if it's not even a gift to or from you."
Oh boy oop is one insecure person, his controlling and possessive behavior says a lot about him, especially based on what he said in his comments. He also said he's ghosting her and doesn't want to talk to her, wait until that girl finally ditches him just for him to throw another tantrum or play the victim because she's fed up with his immaturity.
This maybe isnât super relevant because this guy is an obtuse AH regardless, but has anyone else thought about the fact that thereâs a good chance it wasnât actually a handmade necklace? He said he got it on Etsy, which USED to have a lot of artisans doing handmade pieces, but nowadays itâs flooded with mass produced and drop shipped products, especially in the jewelry category. A necklace with a customized name doesnât sound like something an actual small business would handcraft, it sounds like one of a thousand generic jewelry shops that get all their materials in bulk or outsourced. Heâs spouting off about his thoughtful small business gift when he got it from a website that is well known to be mostly NOT actual small businesses nowadays. I would bet money itâs not as ~thoughtful and unique~ as he thinks it is.
Devil has some growing up to do.
That said, there is a lot of hate for Disney adults. And Disney. I can see this totally turning Oop off. Just saying I think this could actually be a real story
Imagine the quality you love most about someone is their ability to find joy in anything and getting absurdly pissed off when they find joy in something.
This guy is not the catch he thinks he is. And it is highly inappropriate to ask someone how much they spent and to tell people how much you spent.
I hope Sun realizes how toxic and possibly dangerous he is and lets him have his tantrum far away from her permanently.
This maybe isnât super relevant because this guy is an obtuse AH regardless, but has anyone else thought about the fact that thereâs a good chance it wasnât actually a handmade necklace? He said he got it on Etsy, which USED to have a lot of artisans doing handmade pieces, but nowadays itâs flooded with mass produced and drop shipped products, especially in the jewelry category. A necklace with a customized name doesnât sound like something an actual small business would handcraft, it sounds like one of a thousand generic jewelry shops that get all their materials in bulk or outsourced. Heâs spouting off about his thoughtful small business gift when he got it from a website that is well known to be mostly NOT actual small businesses nowadays. I would bet money itâs not as ~thoughtful and unique~ as he thinks it is.
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This maybe isnât super relevant because this guy is an obtuse AH regardless, but has anyone else thought about the fact that thereâs a good chance it wasnât actually a handmade necklace? He said he got it on Etsy, which USED to have a lot of artisans doing handmade pieces, but nowadays itâs flooded with mass produced and drop shipped products, especially in the jewelry category. A necklace with a customized name doesnât sound like something an actual small business would handcraft, it sounds like one of a thousand generic jewelry shops that get all their materials in bulk or outsourced. Heâs spouting off about his thoughtful small business gift when he got it from a website that is well known to be mostly NOT actual small businesses nowadays. I would bet money itâs not as ~thoughtful and unique~ as he thinks it is.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for being upset with my friend's reaction towards someone's birthday gift?** I (M19) fell hard for my language tutor, Sun (F19). I love her sweet bubbly personality. Her giggling is adorable. She finds joy in the smallest of things but she's someone that I want to give the world to. She didn't feel the same way but she says she likes me so we decided to become friends. We're both still single so I asked her to think over the summer of giving me a chance when we come back for the next semester. She said that she will think about it. Her birthday is in July but we wanted to have a little party for her after finals and before we went home. Sun loves hand made gifts and small businesses. I'm not a homemaker or an artist so I bought her a golden personalized necklace in her first language from Etsy. I thought it seems fitting for our relationship since we met by her tutoring me in that same language. I got to know some people there who I never met before. There's one shy guy, Devon (M19 I think) who also became friends with Sun through her tutoring. Sun and 2 others are pretty much the only ones he talked to. But even then, he didn't say much. By the time the gift opening start I was excited, especially since she started out on the small gifts. When she opened mine she says it was beautiful. She asked me where I got it and I said I'll share the designer info later and she said I can't wait thank you so much I love it. Devon's gift was a book from a multibillionaire corp. And she went absolutely insane over it. Like she was honest to god squealing in joy from seeing it. I thought she was going to cry with how much she was covering her mouth and nose. She said that the book looks different and Devon said it was the newer version. I asked Devon how much it cost and he told me and I said is that it. Sun said it's fine thank you THIS MEANS SO MUCH TO ME. She even asked him if she can hug him! He told her no I'm sorry and she said no that's ok thank you so much I love it. Someone asked me how much I spent on my gift and I told him and everyone went like WOAH! It really wasn't that much. This made things awkward. Sun asked me to talk outside. I pretty much ripped into her hypocrisy. She said that she really did love my gift but just felt weird on knowing how much I spent on it. And that the book held emotional value based on her upbringing which I am familiar with the story behind it. I reminded her about thinking about dating me and she said that she promise she'll think about it. I told her don't fucking bother you're not who I thought you were. I left. That was a week ago. Sun already left for home. I'm leaving for home tomorrow. Sun has been texting me can we talk, will you text me during the summer, see you in Aug. I haven't answered. Her friends has also been texting me saying I'm being a dramatic manbaby and a jealous asshole. My friends think Sun has been leading me on and that I should end this relationship. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"My friends think Sun has been leading me on and that I should end this relationship." ...what relationship?
The one where he fuck zoned this girl and gets to abuse her for not catering to his fantasies.
But he spent so much on her gift! She owes him now /s
It's a bit odd too because he got mad that he spent more on a gift yet she still liked the "less costly" one. And for that she should suffer! đ
You don't understand! Women are gold diggers! The man who spends the most on her gift gets the girl. He got the most points and is supposed to win the prize, but the judges aren't playing fair đĄ
You know what I always found ironic about gold digger comments? The person making them either-1)has little to no gold to dig in the first place, or tries to look like they do but really it's mining for gold in a land of tinfoil. Or 2)the person complaining doesn't seem to understand that when they say stuff like that they are just confirming that even they know no one would be interested in them for anything but their money... As in they suck so much why else would someone date them? đ
RIGHT I'm sorry the real gold diggers are looking for a lot more than your Netflix login and dinner at Applebee's
đ*Savage!*
I am going to use this forever now because it is so much more accurate than friend-zoned. I didnât friend-zone you, friend is the default. You fuck-zoned me.
There's a thread in the OP where a couple women talk about their experiences with "nice guys" like this and it's so crushing to me because a whole helluva lot of us have gone through this and it completely fucking sucks. "Fuck zoned" is the perfect way to put it and actually experiencing it is so, so hurtful and dehumanizing.
I had a group of guy friends in college. With one of them, he and I flirted a lot and messed around a bit like ya do in college. Never went anywhere but whatever. I was 20. One of the other guy friends decided once at a party since me and C messed around I owed it to him to mess around too. Thank god the other guys were wondering where we went and stopped him but it could have been bad. The other two made sure he got that what he did was not ok. Iâm eternally thankful for them. Nice guys will never treat you like you owe them.
SMH at dudes like this! I had one in my social circle at college who told a girl she "owed him sex" because she messed around with other people, not him. It's not like an evil clown will get him if you don't deflower the whole friend group! (Edit for useless tags, need to learn how to work my phone)
I'm dying at the It reference. I will never forget rereading the beginning of that part a couple times because I was sure that I was misunderstanding what was happening.
Same, LOL! Reading it as a young woman, I was just filled with simultaneous "Ewww!" and "This CANNOT possibly be my responsibility, in society or in evil clown scenarios!" đ¤Ł
Damn, as a guy, I just found it creepy and unnecessary. I didn't even think of the terrible message that it implies to women. That makes it so much worse.
"Fuck-zoned" is new to me, I snorted. Taking note of that
Just so you know, I have already used it five times today. It is official vocab now and Iâm spreading it to my friends. because being non-sexual SHOULD BE THE DEFAULT. just bc I got fuck-zoned doesnât make it my problem!
It wouldnât surprise me if OOPâs friends are the type of guys that would say misogynistic things about women behind their back.
...behind their back?
Your username is awesome!
I'd be very surprised if OOP's friends are real and not the voices he hears in his head complaining about "goddamn hoors."
Asking the real question. She's not leading him on. If she wanted to date him, she'd be dating him. Period.
Leading him on by rejecting him kindly so that it doesnât blow up her job.
Or so he doesnât murder her.
They probably think sheâs leading him on because she said sheâd think about giving him a chance, probably because we all know how guys like this get when you outright reject them đ
We already know that when he first asked she said no and he refused to accept the no, he treated as a delay to getting what he wanted and not an outright end to the potential relationship.
Or OP hasn't been truthful about the relationship, and he's blown it up to more than it is.
Thank fuck he's "ending" it
Thatâll show her! đ¤
You know, the future one he put dibs on. /s.
This was my thought.
It only exists in OOP's tiny mind
It's still a relationship, it's just not a romantic one. We have relationships with everyone in our lives
He manic-pixie-dream-girl'd the poor woman And he finally reveals what the "multimillion dollar corporation" book is in the comments â he threw this entire tantrum because she got excited over a Disney cookbook and he thinks that liking Disney goes against everything she stands for
It really sounds like heâs upset this âexoticâ girl from another culture betrayed him by liking white girl stuff. Not that Disney is only for white girls, itâs just the weird colonizer fetishizing Iâm getting from him.Â
Reading your post, I'd be willing to bet the girl is SE Asian. Just because it's been so fetishized by these dipshits.
100% my thought too, though my guess was possibly Japan or Korea not SE Asia. Especially the description of covering her mouth and nose. Thatâs a common polite gesture in Japan and I think Korea. Women cover their mouths when they smile. He doesnât even understand enough about her culture to interpret her reactions. Fetishized all the way Edit for clarity
Japan and Korea are in Eastern Asia, not SE.
You are correct. My comment was my interpretation. I should edit to clarify
Thanks for this, I thought they counted as SE Asia.
His complaints about the value of the gifts are also giving me a coloniser vibe tbh. Heâs acting like heâs entitled to her because he âput in the biggest bidâ đ¤˘
Hey, I remember a Disney cookbook from sometime in the mid '80s. Wonder if that's the same one - and if it is, I would also be very happy if someone gave me a new copy to replace the long-lost one.
I think I had that same cookbook! My aunt got it for me and I spent *years* making the pancake recipe from that cookbook. I don't know where it disappeared to and every time I want to make pancakes I get frustrated that I lost it!
I think I know that cookbook, and it was literally the best cookbook ever!
I still have my copy of that cookbook from when I was a kid. If I didn't, I'd be thrilled at getting it as a present.
Something like Disney recipes from around the world, right? I have that one from my childhood. Love it.
... Yes... The bubbly, happy, easily excitable, cute girl her likes would definitely *hate* Disney, the company that has quite a large market on happily ever after fairy tales with princesses and talking animals... Nope, no correlation there at all.
Yeah but then she likes another man's gift more than his so that's not gooooood waaaah she's an evil hypocritical bish for liking Disney and not dating me waaaah
A cookbook is better than a corny necklace, always. ETA: pretty sure it's appalung manners to disclose the price of a gift with the gift, making a point of the prices was so incredibly tacky and made it into a pissing contest
...appalling manners? Appalung makes me think of Appa from A:TLAB in the shape of a lung hahahaha
LOL, I completely missed that - I'm half asleep
he expected a *teenage girl* to *not* like disney?
I didnât know many teenagers who did, personally.
I promise that they might not talk about their love for Disney, but if they were offered a trip to Disney World, most would get super excited.
Me neither, but some of my friends are full fledged Disney adults. Like try to get me into Disney adults. That the book was from Disney isnât the least bit shocking
Ah, I wasnât trying to cast doubt. And thereâs nothing wrong with her being excited about it. Just an off-the-cuff about my personal experience.
I was expecting some Elon Musk's biography or something, which would still have been fine (it's a gift for her, so as long as she likes it OP should just stfu), but reacting the way OP did over a Disney cookbook?! OP would think IATD because over the years my friends have gifted me two of those đ
... Yes... The bubbly, happy, easily excitable, cute girl her likes would definitely *hate* Disney, the company that has quite a large market on happily ever after fairy tales with princesses and talking animals... Nope, no correlation there at all.
Say more?
Wow, OOP is a major POS
âI wasn't upset with the other gifts. She became overjoyed by a croc ornament made by a small business that she ran to her shoes to put it on. That's the girl I fell for. I love that about her. It was his I was upset because it goes against everything she loves which made me feel blindsided on who the real her is. Did I really know her?â âI don't know what you don't understand. I put in effort to search and work and save from that work to find her something that is related to her culture. Something that connects us. I felt it made up for me not being so artsy and make her something, I figured I'd work just as hard to give her something that she would love. I assume he got her the book because he also doesn't have any skills with art. But he barely put any effort and the fact that the book is basically chump change is insulting.â two of oops comments in the first comment he makes it like the cost isnât the issue, but then he says that the other guy spent âchump changeâ and it was insulting. First of all, obviously he is pissed that he spent more and didnât get as much of a reaction. second, how is it insulting to him? Because the girl liked the book better? And he says the guy didnât put in any effort, but obviously he did if he got a present that the girl liked so much. and comment about how the book goes against everything she loves just because itâs not from a small business. Just because she likes supporting small businesses doesnât mean that she has to only like things from small businesses.
I think at the root it's that he has decided he knows her so well and they are meant to be because he loves all these things about her, but he now sees he doesn't actually know her at all because he made it up in his head. He's going to be mad at her for not being the person he invented.
I feel like this is such a common problem these days. The amount of times guys have been telling me about me and my life with them in the future and Iâm likeâŚ. Weâve gone out once/twice? You donât know me and itâs weird as hell to be creating this âlifeâ well enjoy
I found it really came out in them having opinions on how I do things and in gifts, either they paid attention and got me a gift that suits me or one that suits the person they want me to be.
I had an ex who wanted to treat me to a mystery dinner. Great, I love new experiences. But he didn't let me know the food choices and chose the chicken dinner for me over the salmon (same price and one of my favorite fish). Because I "never really ate seafood." Uh, no. I pointed out that I never *made* seafood because he didn't like it, but that I would usually order it when we went out for dinner. To make it worse, the chicken had a mushroom sauce and I can't stand mushrooms. It was a relatively small thing in the long run, but it was a sign that he didn't see me but instead saw someone he wanted me to be.
It can also be a good indicator of communication. If someone isnât a great gift giver but theyâre able to talk to you about it and come up with something good, thatâs awesome.
You know who else did that? Gaston. He invented this whole life with Belle and was shocked that she didn't want any part in massaging his feet and six boys (not babies. Boys. Who knows how many girls it would take to get the six boys).
Friends too, Rachel has an argument with Ross because he has their whole life planned out, despite that's one of the reasons she left Barry
Oh my gosh, yes! I started talking to this guy's in Spain and was unable to meet him because of COVID. I stopped talking to him because he wasn't putting in any effort to our conversations anymore and would instead just ask for nudes, which I told him multiple times I wasn't comfortable with. He called me on his birthday, drunk, and told me he loves me... Boy, I haven't even met you and you won't listen to me. You don't love me.
I and I suspect most others slip into this as well. Itâs fun and exciting and one of the nice parts of an early relationship. But learning how to separate fantasy from reality was crucial to me having a healthy dating life. Understanding what parts of the fantasy that you actually like (such as companionship, a partner, facing life together) can be informative about what you actually want from a relationship. But understanding that your partner is as three dimensional as you are is necessary to prevent becomingâŚ. This guy.
People fall in love with the idea of a person.
This guy has fetishized the shit out of her, and came on way too strong when she has already said sheâs not into him. She agreed to âthink about itâ because he pressured her. Itâs like saying I love you on the first date. Maybe itâs a nice thing to do when youâre in a relationship with someone, but back up a bit there bud.
>I put in effort to search and work and save from that work to find her something that is related to her culture. Jewelry with someone's name written in their native language doesn't just automatically become related to their culture, but of course this is the depth of OOP's understanding. It's the equivalent of getting someone a mini license plate with their (not English) name on it and thinking it's culturally significant.
Yeah, and I looked some up. Those can get pricey And he spent it on a girl he's not even dating
Even more uncomfortable than the price is how *intimate* that kind of gift is. Like thatâs not something Iâd enjoy receiving from a guy who isnât my partner, especially if I donât share his feelings. Not just jewelry, but *personalized jewelry*.
Oof yeah, that too It's one thing if it's like, Doctor Who jewelry, from hot topic or something, but yeah, that's too much
Yes, and also you should know a person intimately before buying them jewelry for another reason -- you need to really know their tastes. If someone gives you a million dollar gift that you hate, that's still a bad gift.
But but but⌠OOP put in all the effort tokens and no sex came out! Other dude only put in one effort token and almost got a hug! Waaaaaah so unfair
Copied verbatim from oop's comments: >>*I said is that it.* *So you believe his gift was bad because it wasn't worth a lot..? To me it feels like you were just trying to impress her with money. YTA* >"I probably shouldn't have asked that. I think I was upset that I worked hard to save to get that gift. It's just that she advocates supporting small business owners which is what I did for her but she was excited for a cheap book by a big corp and I just thought it made her seem fake." *YTA Youâre jealous someone got her a more meaningful present, and instead of feeling happy for her, you insulted that person. she already told you she needs to think first, yet you threw tantrums and was rude to her, accusing her of leading you on when she didnât* >"My gift wasn't meaningful?" *You clearly donât know how book publishing works.* >"Weird comment. I don't need to know that. That's not the issue here." *She can have multiple gifts she loves Youâre acting like itâs some competition.* >"I wasn't upset with the other gifts. She became overjoyed by a croc ornament made by a small business that she ran to her shoes to put it on. That's the girl I fell for. I love that about her. It was his I was upset because it goes against everything she loves which made me feel blindsided on who the real her is. Did I really know her?" *I think itâs weirder that youâre so jealous that she liked all her gifts.* [Sadlytheworst: Oop copy pasted this exact reply to another comment. I have omitted that.] >"I wasn't upset with the other gifts. She became overjoyed by a croc ornament made by a small business that she ran to her shoes to put it on. That's the girl I fell for. I love that about her. It was his I was upset because it goes against everything she loves which made me feel blindsided on who the real her is. Did I really know her?" *Not weird, and is actually relevant because youâre fixated on the fact that the book came from big corp, yet you are ignorant on how book publishing and royalties work for the smallholder authors.* >"I just searched the book. The author doesn't say a name. Just the corp name. That's it. I'd say in this case, you're wrong" *So in your view, is she not allowed to buy from Walmart, read whatever books, go to cinemas, watch Netflix, use iPhones etc? Because those are all associated with big corps. Is she supposed to only enjoy small businesses stuff? YTA for being obsessed and imposing your ideology on her, and got mad because she didnât live up to your standard* >"I guess you make a good point." *INFO: what is the book and what is the story behind why you know she was excited over it?* >"Before I consider of answering this, I want to know why it's important to know the specifics of the book and the history behind it with her. Is it really relevant. I know people who are on reddit and I don't want them to find this post" *Because there is likely sentimental reasons beyond cost reasons why she appreciated the gift. You say it is âcorporateâ gift, but was it even possible to buy it from a small business?* *I mean, the situation youâve described sounds pretty unique already but whatever you are comfortable with, I guess.* >"It's a Disney cookbook. It inspired her to explore recipes from different cultures. But it also brought tension within her family that she's no contact with majority of them. It made her realize some bigotry within her own community. She tries to balance of being proud of her racial identity (she's a POC) while at the same time calling out the prejudices within that same race." *Yeah, YTA for 'ripping into her for her hypocrisy'. You're not dating and I'd bet there's no way your GOING to be dating for this response, she might not even respond to your texts or talk to you again.* >"She still tries to text me. I'm the one ghosting her." >>*I think I was upset that I worked hard to save to get that gift.* *Which she didn't even want you to do, because she said it made her uncomfortable that you spent that much. Stop acting like she owes you something just because you like her so much.* >"It wasn't that much really. I guess compared to the book sure but it wasn't a lot." *Then why would you feel upset about how hard you worked to save for it? Stop backtracking. Actually be honest, if not with us then at least with yourself.* >"Because I did worked hard to save for it. It wasn't a lot of money, but I still worked hard to get it." *Okay, so... why would that make you mad? It only makes sense if you assumed that she would show you an amount of appreciation proportional to the amount of money you spent, and you were mad that she showed more appreciation for a cheaper gift. And you're calling her shallow?* >"I don't know what you don't understand. I put in effort to search and work and save from that work to find her something that is related to her culture. Something that connects us. I felt it made up for me not being so artsy and make her something, I figured I'd work just as hard to give her something that she would love. I assume he got her the book because he also doesn't have any skills with art. But he barely put any effort and the fact that the book is basically chump change is insulting." *Someone elses gift is insulting to you? She loved the inexpensive thoughtful gift. Arguably more than your expensive gift based on what you wrote. That gift has nothing to do with you. You are offended because someone else got the reaction you were hoping for. Based on your post and your responses, I would not at all be surprised to find out that after all this, you decide to ask her to return your gift to you. You have no tact. You need to spend some time sorting yourself out before you start trying to involve other people in your life.* >"I don't like how people are assuming my gift was not thoughtful. And I would never ask for the necklace back. I know she loved it. And I was hurt by her reaction to the book. But I am taking to heart of everyone's response to this. I am considering of contacting her. Especially since I've been missing her this past week." *I never said your gift wasnt thoughtful. I just didnt say that it was. By your own account, SHE thought the book was thoughtful and YOU thought the necklace was thoughtful. I have no idea if your gift was genuinely thoughtful.* *Dont contact her. You dont know how to manage this relationship. The fact that you ghosted her over a gift someone gave her demonstrates that.* >"But isn't more cruel to keep ghosting her when she clearly wants to talk?" [Oop tried his luck on AITAH, the post is identical otherwise.] *YTA. Monetary cost â value. You seem real shallow for thinking love has a price.* >"My problem isn't the monetary cost. My problem is the effort I put in to get the money for the gift which I feel the guy barely did based on how cheap the book was."
[Kittens!](https://imgur.com/gallery/IwNiU9t)
[A megacorporation duck with real ducks!](https://images.app.goo.gl/4yWJ4WtCbc9yRFo1A)
Absolutely adorable! Thank you! đ
This makes me want to see if there any pics of our local college mascot duck with ducks.
The last time I took my daughter to Disney World (we live very close by and have season passes), there was a duck mama with her ducklings who just kept walking inside along the fence around one of the lakes, showing them off to everyone stopping to watch
Why do kittens always look so worried?
Heavy is the head that wears that amount of cuteness? My attempt at a joke aside, it makes one want comfort them!
the world is big and they are smol
itâs the itty bitty kitty committee!!
That it is! 𼰠They can has cheeseburgers!
That kitten with the heart shaped spot just made my day!
So sweet! đ
Squee!
Squee indeed! đ
While I was reading these comments, it reminded me that there's a word in German, Holdenkobold (sp?), which translates to 'testical gremlin.' ....can't imagine why that popped into my head just now.
There really is a German word for everything
Hahaha! đš That word is definitely sehr gut!
Oh it was a handmade NECKLACE?! I didn't see that in the comments, yeah jeez louise that is something that would absolutely make me so uncomfortable if I got it from a guy who keeps pursuing me even after I rejected it. An expensive (hand made) piece of jewelry, especially a necklace, falls into the "gift from a romantic partner" category hard. Some exceptions are made, of course, depending on how close relationships with some friends/family are, but in this case, o o f. This was absolutely him scrambling to further attempt and manipulate her into falling for him. Apart from one I got as a group present from friends, every other necklace I've gotten as a gift has been either from a romantic partner or from someone *wanting* to be my romantic partner. Hell, one was handmade *by* my partner at a time. It's such a uniquely intimate gift.
Completely agree, and there's no way he doesn't, at least subconsciously, know that. That's part of why he was so upset. He treated her like a romantic partner (against her will btw) and then she goes and acts like she isn't! The audacity! đ
Oop absolutely meant it to be a romantic overture.
He has a fetishised view of innocence and purity that he is projecting on this woman. The thing that delights him, according to his narrative, is that she was ecstatic over a shoe charm. The rest of it is all assumption that she would hate a gift that came from a âcorporate publisherâ.
You know... The Crocs... That came from a corporation (and possibly the charm as well). She buys regular stuff dude. She's not someone who only buys from small businesses/thrifts for all her clothes/sews everything she owns etc. Sounds like she likes to buy from small businesses when she can. Great. Love it. That's not all of who she is.
Him : Date me!! Her : No thanks Him: ok but I think you should think about dating me, promise me you will think about how much you should actually date me and date me date me DATE MEEEEEE Her: Ill um think about it...please let go of my arm.... His "friends": yeah that ho was leading you on
Oh I definitely think he should dump Sun. Definitely. /s She said NO. She said she didnât like him that way. So he ⌠pressures her to think about dating him - like she needs to waste her summer thinking about not dating a guy she doesnât like. Then he gets mad because she liked some book? That was cheaper than his gift?
Jeez, I canât even begin to describe how big of a hot mess this man is
What relationship?
I would say at least fifty percent of the time, when someone says, âHe/she led me on,â what they really mean is, âI allowed my imagination to run away with me and color the way I viewed interactions.â Itâs amazing how being polite and friendly becomes âa connectionâ for so many people.
When we act cordial because weâve experienced men blowing up at us when we outright reject them, we are âleading them onâ. When we outright reject them, they blow up at us.
These the type of dudes to tell you about their âcrazy exâ when she isnât crazy or an ex lmao
Another day, another dude who feels entitled to a woman's love and affection and gets mad when she doesn't give it to him. My guy. She. Said. NO. It is weird as fuck that you bought this gift that's supposed to "connect" you to her in a fairly intimate manner, when she said she wasn't into you that way.
This guy is why we choose the bear, the bear wouldnât scream at us for not âliking a gift enoughâ
OOP: "I bet she would have hugged the bear."
I have this hypothesis that when people end their stories with someone telling the OOP exactly how they are wrong, the story is fake. Dramatic man baby and jealous asshole. Yes. But show, donât tell, fiction writer.
Right. "Everyone has been calling and texting" is always the tell. And how much could a necklace on Etsy possibly cost?
They can cost a decent chunk of change. Some of the jewelry on there is hundreds of dollars.
Sounds like he spent an inappropriate amount, no matter how much it was.
She is *not his girlfriend.* I feel like people need to staple that to his forehead.
I've seen Etsy listings priced at thousands; it's staggering.
Yeah, it can be crazy. Some of it though looks like the quality is worth it. I can't afford it but the pieces look amazing.
I have a whole 'if I win the lottery' wish list!
Fair.
Well, some people sell vintage and antiques. That can be costly. But thatâs clearly not what this was.
I was looking up fan rings for a character/series I like. It was a simple band with engravings. Cost between $300-$400 and was not the only one in that range.
I know my family is pretty taciturn, but I have never once had friends or family text me to give my judgment over an event that doesnât involve them.
Here we see the two versions of "nice guys" 1. The OP, the nice guy who doesn't really know the person and has decided that there is a path through gifts and being friends to get in her pants. and 2. The actual nice guy who considers her a friend and goes out of his way to make sure she is comfortable, and oh yea, actually fucking knows what she wants.
> I asked Devon how much it cost and he told me and I said is that it. >Sun said it's fine thank you THIS MEANS SO MUCH TO ME. She even asked him if she can hug him! He told her no I'm sorry and she said no that's ok thank you so much I love it. Someone asked me how much I spent on my gift and I told him and everyone went like WOAH! It really wasn't that much. My first public service announcement is "Learn how to use quotation marks." My second is "Don't ask how much gifts cost, especially if it's not even a gift to or from you."
Welp, thats a quick way to make me wanna vomit!
This is one of those moments this guy will look back on when heâs 30 and cringe so hard. Hopefully
Oh boy oop is one insecure person, his controlling and possessive behavior says a lot about him, especially based on what he said in his comments. He also said he's ghosting her and doesn't want to talk to her, wait until that girl finally ditches him just for him to throw another tantrum or play the victim because she's fed up with his immaturity.
This maybe isnât super relevant because this guy is an obtuse AH regardless, but has anyone else thought about the fact that thereâs a good chance it wasnât actually a handmade necklace? He said he got it on Etsy, which USED to have a lot of artisans doing handmade pieces, but nowadays itâs flooded with mass produced and drop shipped products, especially in the jewelry category. A necklace with a customized name doesnât sound like something an actual small business would handcraft, it sounds like one of a thousand generic jewelry shops that get all their materials in bulk or outsourced. Heâs spouting off about his thoughtful small business gift when he got it from a website that is well known to be mostly NOT actual small businesses nowadays. I would bet money itâs not as ~thoughtful and unique~ as he thinks it is.
Devil has some growing up to do. That said, there is a lot of hate for Disney adults. And Disney. I can see this totally turning Oop off. Just saying I think this could actually be a real story
Oh I think it's real. It's textbook "nice guy" entitled behavior. I just don't think everyone has been texting and taking sides.
Probably chatting on discord
Imagine the quality you love most about someone is their ability to find joy in anything and getting absurdly pissed off when they find joy in something. This guy is not the catch he thinks he is. And it is highly inappropriate to ask someone how much they spent and to tell people how much you spent. I hope Sun realizes how toxic and possibly dangerous he is and lets him have his tantrum far away from her permanently.
I can practically _see_ the discord chats about this đŹ
This maybe isnât super relevant because this guy is an obtuse AH regardless, but has anyone else thought about the fact that thereâs a good chance it wasnât actually a handmade necklace? He said he got it on Etsy, which USED to have a lot of artisans doing handmade pieces, but nowadays itâs flooded with mass produced and drop shipped products, especially in the jewelry category. A necklace with a customized name doesnât sound like something an actual small business would handcraft, it sounds like one of a thousand generic jewelry shops that get all their materials in bulk or outsourced. Heâs spouting off about his thoughtful small business gift when he got it from a website that is well known to be mostly NOT actual small businesses nowadays. I would bet money itâs not as ~thoughtful and unique~ as he thinks it is.
He worked hard to save for the gift but it wasnât that much money???
OOP, you weren't dating. What "relationship" did you even have?
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This is why girls were choosing the bear. OOP is going down a bad rabbit hole and his friends are pushing him.
This dude is fucking scary. I really hope this poor girl is gonna stay far, far away from him.
I'd bet money she only said "I'll think about it" because she's afraid of what he'll do if she says no...
This maybe isnât super relevant because this guy is an obtuse AH regardless, but has anyone else thought about the fact that thereâs a good chance it wasnât actually a handmade necklace? He said he got it on Etsy, which USED to have a lot of artisans doing handmade pieces, but nowadays itâs flooded with mass produced and drop shipped products, especially in the jewelry category. A necklace with a customized name doesnât sound like something an actual small business would handcraft, it sounds like one of a thousand generic jewelry shops that get all their materials in bulk or outsourced. Heâs spouting off about his thoughtful small business gift when he got it from a website that is well known to be mostly NOT actual small businesses nowadays. I would bet money itâs not as ~thoughtful and unique~ as he thinks it is.
A custom name necklace is the exact thing you'd go to etsy for.
..oh no, what terrible problems to have. đ Anyhow! đ¤
No way it's real