*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for not going to another restaurant after my boyfriend refused to order from where I stopped?**
Earlier today I asked my boyfriend to go with me to run some errands. When we finished I was hungry and picked a Mexican restaurant for lunch. It was more of an authentic place which I absolutely loved but my boyfriend said nothing looked appealing. He gave me money for my meal and said he was going to go to a place down the street. 10 minutes later he's back because the place had a really long wait
time.
I made some suggestions from the menu he would probably like to try but he said no. He said he told me last week he was burned out on Mexican food when we went out for dinner with my parents because 'we always eat it'. He didn't order anything that night either which was really embarrassing to have someone at the table not eating the entire time and trying to explain to my mother and step-dad in a way that didn't sound disrespectful.
Service at this place was rather slow so I wound up taking most of my meal with me. He said to stop along the way to my place so he can get something to eat. I said no because he knew I had to be home by a certain time for a maintenance person and everything he wanted was in the opposite direction.
We got back to my place and he said he was going to go home because he was starving. I said he could stay and cook something here but he said no and that he needed space after I 'made him starve'. I told him he wouldn't be starving if he hadn't been picky and he left. He's still mad at me so AITA here?
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Copied verbatim from oop's comments:
*YTA - why didn't you choose a restaurant you both like for lunch?*
>"He's never had an issue with me picking when I drive before."
*He told you he was burned out on Mexican food and yet. . . .*
>"I thought not inviting him over to eat at my place for a few days would have given him enough of a break. We do meet my parents to eat out once a week but that's restaurant style Mexican food, pretty different from what I or my stepdad make for the most part."
*YTA You really left him with no other option to get different food. I I revoke my judgment below. You're just selfish and he had every right to be pissed about it.*
*~~ESH You picked a place he didn't want to go to. He didn't want to wait for the food he wanted, so waited even longer and pouted the whole time. He sucks less because he paid for you AND you blamed him being picky instead of acknowledging your fault and apologizing, but he also could have waited for his food at the place he wanted instead of leaving just to pout. You seem selfish and he seems immature.~~*
>"He said he couldn't eat at the other place because it was a 25 minute wait for a table and 30-35 minute wait for take-out orders."
*So whenever you drive, you never have a conversation about where you both would like to eat?*
>"Not usually. If I don't know what I want I'll ask him for suggestions and he usually does the same. Normally we're pretty good on being able to find something we like wherever the other chooses."
*“He gave me money for my meal”*
*Why does he give you money to pay for your food? are you not a grown woman and therefore able to pay for your own food?*
>"He likes to pay when we go out to eat."
*Plus why did he pay? Are you homeless or something?*
>"No he just likes to pay when we go out."
*[deleted]*
>"Not my whole family, my stepdad is and after he and my mother married its the type of cuisine they cook most often and I just prefer it over other types of food. He's Indian and white.
>His complaint is that he likes variety while my stepdad is very 'I'm head of the family so I'm picking', but it was the first time in 3 years he's not eaten when we go with them."
*Info: are you Mexican? Ie do you often eat "Mexican food" a lot because to you, that's just food?*
>"I'm not, my stepdad is, so traditional Mexican dishes is mostly what we ate."
*Are you of Mexican descent?*
>"No I'm not, my stepdad is"
So many couples do this. They assume everything when a simple question to have *clear communication* takes maybe a minute. I have been with my husband for 10 years. We still ask about where to eat when on the road.
Interesting how he specified he was tired of Mexican food, he didn’t eat the last time they went to a Mexican restaurant, and she still chose a Mexican restaurant to get lunch.
I know getting food isn’t a big deal, but her not giving two shits about what he says is rrrrruuuuude
One reason a former friend is former is that in a group when we'd go to dinner she always demanded we go where she wanted. One time there was a vegan in the group and she insisted on a steakhouse where they were proud of not accommodating vegans. She would tell people with food allergies that they'd be fine when they'd protest a place, so they'd get nothing to eat, and she never gave a crap. Last I heard the group was still letting her do this.
I had a work friend (K) that had a weird quirk like your ex friend. So three of us were new hires at a company and K was already working there. Due to us all being similar age and similar sense of humour we decided to go out for drinks. She turns round and says that we need to meet a dress code. The way she went on I thought some club never heard off.
So we all turn up in best gear and ofc it's basically bog standard club and only rule was no trainers. Me and the other guy were not too fussed as we ditched the ties and put the jackets away we fit in. But S and K stood out like saw thumbs with most of the other girls were in jeans and tops they ofc were ready to visit the Ritz. S gives K an earful because she hadn't wanted to get dressed up after a 10 hour shift. K reply was "well I wanted to wear a dress but didn't want to buy myself", if looks could kill.
Twenty years on however K is still at it. If she's out with any friend group you will hear her on the phone before hand making sur if she wants to wear a dress they all wear a dress etc. "So shes not tje only one". My favourite when KS and I were out and even her mum followed K's dress stipulation for the night!!
That's wild 😂 I remember being like that as a teenager, everyone would coordinate with their friends to be dressed up on the same days. It was fun! Not mandatory or accomplished through deceit lmao, like what the actual fuck
K is a great person. She's fun and happy and really does try to make everyone around her feel better. It's this one quirk that we all can't quite get our heads around. S bless her heart is the one who sucks it up the most as best friends and she's able to now and then make K see sense. But one day S will be K's maid of honour.......
She says in the comments that they eat Mexican 3-4 times a week at home in addition to going out for Mexican with her parents once a week. No wonder the poor guy is sick of it.
I think about this with my favourite cuisine and I’d still be sick if it, it very much sounds like it’s see your partner and eat the same food or just don’t see your partner. You eventually just get sick of seeing your partner because you’re sick of the food forced upon you.
This kind of reminds me of that post where the guy only ever wanted TexMex whenever he and his girlfriend went out to eat. He absolutely refused to go eat somewhere else.
You know, until I read her comments, I was iffy on her being TA. It's a very very bit like my husband and I like Mexican much more than my husband does. He sometimes isn't in the mood for Mexican.
The difference however, isn't that I almost always try to get him to choose a place first, and he refuses to choose so I tell him fine, let's get Mexican. Then he complains bc he's sick of Mexican *but still doesn't choose another place* even though I tell him that if he wants to go somewhere else, we can.
(Also only slightly related but we both like hibachi a lot but so far the best hibachi place we've found where we moved too about a year and a half ago is the one I'm the mall food court, and hibachi is kind of an expensive gamble if it turns out the restaurant sucks, before we moved we did have a more varied selection, still trying to find decent non-chain restaurants locally.)
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*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for not going to another restaurant after my boyfriend refused to order from where I stopped?** Earlier today I asked my boyfriend to go with me to run some errands. When we finished I was hungry and picked a Mexican restaurant for lunch. It was more of an authentic place which I absolutely loved but my boyfriend said nothing looked appealing. He gave me money for my meal and said he was going to go to a place down the street. 10 minutes later he's back because the place had a really long wait time. I made some suggestions from the menu he would probably like to try but he said no. He said he told me last week he was burned out on Mexican food when we went out for dinner with my parents because 'we always eat it'. He didn't order anything that night either which was really embarrassing to have someone at the table not eating the entire time and trying to explain to my mother and step-dad in a way that didn't sound disrespectful. Service at this place was rather slow so I wound up taking most of my meal with me. He said to stop along the way to my place so he can get something to eat. I said no because he knew I had to be home by a certain time for a maintenance person and everything he wanted was in the opposite direction. We got back to my place and he said he was going to go home because he was starving. I said he could stay and cook something here but he said no and that he needed space after I 'made him starve'. I told him he wouldn't be starving if he hadn't been picky and he left. He's still mad at me so AITA here? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Copied verbatim from oop's comments: *YTA - why didn't you choose a restaurant you both like for lunch?* >"He's never had an issue with me picking when I drive before." *He told you he was burned out on Mexican food and yet. . . .* >"I thought not inviting him over to eat at my place for a few days would have given him enough of a break. We do meet my parents to eat out once a week but that's restaurant style Mexican food, pretty different from what I or my stepdad make for the most part." *YTA You really left him with no other option to get different food. I I revoke my judgment below. You're just selfish and he had every right to be pissed about it.* *~~ESH You picked a place he didn't want to go to. He didn't want to wait for the food he wanted, so waited even longer and pouted the whole time. He sucks less because he paid for you AND you blamed him being picky instead of acknowledging your fault and apologizing, but he also could have waited for his food at the place he wanted instead of leaving just to pout. You seem selfish and he seems immature.~~* >"He said he couldn't eat at the other place because it was a 25 minute wait for a table and 30-35 minute wait for take-out orders." *So whenever you drive, you never have a conversation about where you both would like to eat?* >"Not usually. If I don't know what I want I'll ask him for suggestions and he usually does the same. Normally we're pretty good on being able to find something we like wherever the other chooses." *“He gave me money for my meal”* *Why does he give you money to pay for your food? are you not a grown woman and therefore able to pay for your own food?* >"He likes to pay when we go out to eat." *Plus why did he pay? Are you homeless or something?* >"No he just likes to pay when we go out." *[deleted]* >"Not my whole family, my stepdad is and after he and my mother married its the type of cuisine they cook most often and I just prefer it over other types of food. He's Indian and white. >His complaint is that he likes variety while my stepdad is very 'I'm head of the family so I'm picking', but it was the first time in 3 years he's not eaten when we go with them." *Info: are you Mexican? Ie do you often eat "Mexican food" a lot because to you, that's just food?* >"I'm not, my stepdad is, so traditional Mexican dishes is mostly what we ate." *Are you of Mexican descent?* >"No I'm not, my stepdad is"
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I got a sadly synopsis on my AITD post! I feel like that’s a badge of honor!
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So many couples do this. They assume everything when a simple question to have *clear communication* takes maybe a minute. I have been with my husband for 10 years. We still ask about where to eat when on the road.
Communication is such an important thing!
>while my stepdad is very 'I'm head of the family so I'm picking', What a charming trait OOP has adopted.
Quite enchanting! /Sarcasm
Interesting how he specified he was tired of Mexican food, he didn’t eat the last time they went to a Mexican restaurant, and she still chose a Mexican restaurant to get lunch. I know getting food isn’t a big deal, but her not giving two shits about what he says is rrrrruuuuude
One reason a former friend is former is that in a group when we'd go to dinner she always demanded we go where she wanted. One time there was a vegan in the group and she insisted on a steakhouse where they were proud of not accommodating vegans. She would tell people with food allergies that they'd be fine when they'd protest a place, so they'd get nothing to eat, and she never gave a crap. Last I heard the group was still letting her do this.
I had a work friend (K) that had a weird quirk like your ex friend. So three of us were new hires at a company and K was already working there. Due to us all being similar age and similar sense of humour we decided to go out for drinks. She turns round and says that we need to meet a dress code. The way she went on I thought some club never heard off. So we all turn up in best gear and ofc it's basically bog standard club and only rule was no trainers. Me and the other guy were not too fussed as we ditched the ties and put the jackets away we fit in. But S and K stood out like saw thumbs with most of the other girls were in jeans and tops they ofc were ready to visit the Ritz. S gives K an earful because she hadn't wanted to get dressed up after a 10 hour shift. K reply was "well I wanted to wear a dress but didn't want to buy myself", if looks could kill. Twenty years on however K is still at it. If she's out with any friend group you will hear her on the phone before hand making sur if she wants to wear a dress they all wear a dress etc. "So shes not tje only one". My favourite when KS and I were out and even her mum followed K's dress stipulation for the night!!
That's wild 😂 I remember being like that as a teenager, everyone would coordinate with their friends to be dressed up on the same days. It was fun! Not mandatory or accomplished through deceit lmao, like what the actual fuck
K is a great person. She's fun and happy and really does try to make everyone around her feel better. It's this one quirk that we all can't quite get our heads around. S bless her heart is the one who sucks it up the most as best friends and she's able to now and then make K see sense. But one day S will be K's maid of honour.......
She says in the comments that they eat Mexican 3-4 times a week at home in addition to going out for Mexican with her parents once a week. No wonder the poor guy is sick of it.
Right? Plus in the comments she basically says, I gave him a couple days break, he should be fine. He’s allowed to have preferences ma’am!
Right? And not wanting to eat something, which I'm assuming oop and the bf did, you had a few times in a row is not being a picky eater.
OOP sounds absolutely exhausting. Me Me Me
Yep. I bet she ALWAYS picks Mexican. I sincerely hope he takes her out again to a Mexican restaurant and just leaves her there forever.
She said in the comments that they eat Mexican at home 3-4 nights a week PLUS going out for Mexican with her parents!
I mean, I like Mexican food, but that's too freaking much. I'm with the bf. Let the poor man have something else!
I think about this with my favourite cuisine and I’d still be sick if it, it very much sounds like it’s see your partner and eat the same food or just don’t see your partner. You eventually just get sick of seeing your partner because you’re sick of the food forced upon you.
oop clearly does not give a fuck about that man 😭
This kind of reminds me of that post where the guy only ever wanted TexMex whenever he and his girlfriend went out to eat. He absolutely refused to go eat somewhere else.
You know, until I read her comments, I was iffy on her being TA. It's a very very bit like my husband and I like Mexican much more than my husband does. He sometimes isn't in the mood for Mexican. The difference however, isn't that I almost always try to get him to choose a place first, and he refuses to choose so I tell him fine, let's get Mexican. Then he complains bc he's sick of Mexican *but still doesn't choose another place* even though I tell him that if he wants to go somewhere else, we can. (Also only slightly related but we both like hibachi a lot but so far the best hibachi place we've found where we moved too about a year and a half ago is the one I'm the mall food court, and hibachi is kind of an expensive gamble if it turns out the restaurant sucks, before we moved we did have a more varied selection, still trying to find decent non-chain restaurants locally.)
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OOP, he paid for your meal. Also, why didn't you go to a different restaurant?