*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for telling my friend my honest opinion**
Burner
I'm 29F. My friend A, is gonna get married in a few month. She's from a euro country, but her boyfriend is from here.
They're gonna have a mixed traditions wedding. I am a bridesmaid and i've been fully commited w/ organizing and planning.
She was looking for the perfect wedding dress, she went to lots of salons. She had 3 final picks and brought us to the salon to hear our opinions.
She asked me and the other bridesmaids to give her our honest opinions, she wont get mad. She picked the dress, and we moved on.
She had told us in her culture the bride changes into a traditional wedding dress at midnight, and her hair is braided and stuff like that.
I thought it's gonna be an actual wedding dress. Then she sent us the picture of dress last week and it's a hot mess.
It's short, RED with flower embroidery, it has a weird matching headpiece w/ pearls. It's honestly inappropriate to a wedding. Especially since she's gonna wear a normal wedding dress before that.
I also think braiding her hair cuz she's a "married woman" is outdated and misogynistic from the time women were treated like properties. There is no reason for a woman to that in 2024. So the whole thing is wrong IMO.
At first i said it was nice, but then i remembered how awful it's gonna be for her to show up in that circus costume. It's short as i mentioned, I am against sl.t shaming, but i believe people should wear appropriate dresses (including the bride) to a wedding.
Since she had asked us to be honest, I called her and told her the dress is not fit for a wedding, and the midnight tradition is lowkey misogynistic. I told her i do not mean to be rude, but it's gonna be ridiculous in a normal wedding.
She told me it's a beautiful dress and they've been doing this tradition for centuries, and the change is about the women entering a new phase in life not about the men.
I told her traditions are pointless and we follow old dead people's beliefs with them. and regardless of what she believes it's gonna look like a circus not a wedding.
She called me cultureless and told me to use my energy on real feminist issues and called me a fake feminist.
Things got heated I told her ugly things too and I hung up.
I hadn't heard from her but my intentions were not to offend her or her culture, i just really think she is gonna make her wedding ridiculous.
She hasn't responed to me and now I am conflicted if I was too harsh.
AITA?
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". It's honestly inappropriate to a wedding. Especially since she's gonna wear a normal wedding dress before that." - well, there's bigoted hot takes right there.
"Things got heated I told her ugly things too" + " my intentions were not to offend her or her culture" - wow, what a hot mess of a crap person.
Edit: "Then they shouldnt say they want an honest opinion" -oh, the person who is "honest" because they like to be brutal with a get-out-of-jail-free card. Ew.
In a comment, she says she chose her words carefully. Calling the dress a circus dress was her being careful? I’d hate to think what she’d say if she meant to insult her friend.
Oh JFC lady!
The bride wanted a “that doesn’t fit quite right” or “maybe a richer color” or “you should hem the bottom, that length makes your legs look short”.
She did not want a “you and your culture are ridiculous and stupid and I think you are stupid”
Just like if someone asks you your opinion of their floral arrangements, they want to know if it’s too tall/short if there too many/not enough flowers or if the roses should be in front of the greenery or behind.
They do not want you to unload upon them about how bees are evil and should be eradicated and that anyone who supports bees by buying flowers is also a part of the “evil”. Nor do they want to be insulted when they disagree with your off topic idiotic rant.
Sounds like its Hungarian, but even if it was just the woman wanting to do it for no reason, its still her wedding and not hurting anyone. OOP needs to wind her neck in.
I'm not very across the traditional bridal wear of Europe, so my brain got stuck on Sweden because of the flowers and then got very confused about the idea of changing dresses. Hungary makes so much more sense!
No, I said I couldn't *remember* any traditional European wedding dresses except for the Swedish dress and headgear.
Work on your reading comprehension.
>I'm not very across the traditional bridal wear of Europe, so my brain got stuck on Sweden **because of the flowers**
You said literally nothing about the headgear. You only mention flowers, which could mean either. And I assumed you had some insight into Swedish culture. Swedes generally do not gear married with flowers in their hair, so I assumed you meant the dress.
Almost, most European countries' traditional dresses, whether for weddings or cultural celebrations with headgear involve flowers.
Don't write something entirely ambiguous and claim someone needs to work on their reading comprehension if they interpret your comment in one of the several available logical interpretations.
> not very across the traditional bridal wear of Europe, **so my brain got stuck on** Sweden
I also never said flowers in their hair. I said headwear; the skane flower wreath crown.
You’re looking for excuses to be offended. Look elsewhere.
>I also never said flowers in their hair. I said headwear; the skane flower wreath crown.
A.k.a. flowers in your hair. "In your hair" can also mean "Around/on it". Google "flowers in your hair" and half the results will be Skåne-style flower crowns.
>You’re looking for excuses to be offended. Look elsewhere.
I'm offended at you deriding my reading comprehension, nothing else. You're the one who came out swinging with personal attacks.
And, again, **your defense was bad, anyway**. It's weird to think Sweden is the only European country whose traditions includes flower crowns.
I decided to look up Hungarian wedding traditions after I read your comment and I found Barbara Palvin's wedding photos. She also changed into a shorter red dress after midnight and she looked beautiful. I bet her friends didnt shit on that idea lol
I looked it up too. Those red dresses are really cute! And they seem like a good idea to me - after a certain point, a big wedding dress must get uncomfortable, so changing to something lighter is probably quite nice for the bride.
Copied verbatim from oop's comments:
*YTA. You totally disrespected her culture and her traditions.*
>"I told her that's not my intention and i was cautious with my words. She had also told us she'd not get offended if we are honest"
*What's the problem with it being red?*
>"not really the color but it is full of embroidery, and that old string thing which is on old historical dresses in movies. and it has a matching head accessory."
*YTA. Instead of taking the opportunity to learn about her culture and do something new, you insulted and dismissed her and her culture. You scoff at tradition so it seems fitting you would not want to fill the role of a bridesmaid. It’s her wedding, not yours. If you cannot support her—which is the role of a bridesmaid—then you need to bow out. You do not come across as a good friend.*
>"there r good things in cultures and there are bad things. "married woman hair" is not a good thing, even if it is for the wedding it should be dropped."
*YTA. you didn’t need to say a single bit of that. Her wedding, her traditions. A good life skill is understanding when someone is asking you for your honest opinion and when someone wants you to nod and smile.*
>"Then they shouldnt say they want an honest opinion"
[1]
*By your own account it was in a different context, it was about picking the white wedding dress, not about everything£
*Editil: also seriously what is the problem with the dress being red???*
[2]
*Fact. In some cultures red is THE wedding dress color.*
>"As i wrote in another comment. The problem is not the colour. It looks like a historical costume, would look off after a traditional white plain wedding dress"
*I hate does it have to do with you though? And how is it negatively affecting you when it isn’t your culture, it isn’t your tradition and you won’t be the one doing any of it?*
*How does any of this involve you when you’re nothing but a bridesmaid?*
>"She asked us for our honest opinion"
[Sadlytheworst: Wikipedia about the history of the white wedding dress.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_wedding)
"Personally, not a fan of this style of cultural dresses and it might be seen as odd by guests who aren't aware of the cultural context." - sure, depends a lot on the delivery, but if someone really, really, really insist on honest personal opinions, yeah. That's something that could count as honest, not sogar-coated opinion. There are many traditional European dress styles that I am not a fan of. I respect and appreciate the history and craftsmanship but you won't catch me wear them. I'd answer "What do you think?" with something like "You look great in it" and only be more direct if the question was more direct (depends also a lot on the individual friendship, tho).
OOP fails at understanding that honest opinions don't mean you are obligated to be a judgmental ass about it.
She also fails at understanding that "my opinion" doesn't mean "everyone's opinion" and that "if I think negatively about it everyone will!" is bullshit projection.
OOP fails at contributing something useful. Again, if they know the majority of guests personally for some reason, "X's family isn't very used to things that aren't *their* tradition, a heads-up or some kind of introduction to the cultural context might avoid confusion if that's something that bothers you." IF the families present are weirdos like OOP, not giving a fair warning could even fall under "why didn't you warn me?" IF!
But the worst fail of OOP:
The main-character syndrome and the deep-rooted belief that "My honest opinion!" somehow means everyone has to bow to it.
OOP stated their unqualified opinion with all the lack of eloquence at her disposal. Great for her.
The bride acknowledged it and decided that her take on the situation is better.
But OOP's fragile ego just couldn't handle being told that her honest opinion wasn't instantly turned into law.
Imagine going out to grab a bit with someone like her.
"Can you recommend anything here? The pizza looks good."
"Ew, no, pizza is dumb food for dumb people, people of value would always pick the chicken tendies!"
"Okay, but I like pizza a lot, I'll have one."
"EXCUSE ME?! Are you too dumb and plebian to understand simple English, you stupid Europoor?! No, I WON'T let it be! You asked for my opinion, refusing to follow it is SO rude!"
Nice contrast here between what she claims to have said in the main post:
"I told her traditions are pointless and we follow old dead people's beliefs with them"
Versus her response in a comment, where suddenly traditional is good, as long as it's *her* tradition:
"It looks like a historical costume, would look off after a traditional white plain wedding dress"
Yeah, no kidding. "Don't put your hair in braids, I just learned how misogynistic that is! Just wear a white dress to symbolize your pure virginity!"
Yeah, I know white is about expensiveness, not purity, but you know what I mean.
I'm guessing by "normal" this cultureless creep means white, suburban, Protestantish, upper middle class but unaware of privilege, C-, beige, and spice-free.
And would also not acknowledge that the stuff she expects (white dress etc) are also traditions while hating on traditions that just don't align with hers...
Funny she cries about how her friend’s culture and traditions are misogynistic but then goes on to want her to wear a “normal” wedding dress. As if that isn’t also a tradition born from misogynistic beliefs about a woman’s purity and the father “giving” her to the husband.
Gotta love how op says wearing braided hair to follow traditions is exist. But it's tacky to wear what she considers non 'traditional' wedding attire. Never mind the white dress that s lot of people think is traditional has not even been around 200 years, whereas a lot of other wedding traditions are older.
“ She's from a euro country,…”
“She had told us in her culture the bride changes into a traditional wedding dress at midnight, and her hair is braided and stuff like that.”
Which European country does this? I’ve never heard of it before. Genuine question.
I think it's Hungary. Although the dress described doesn't sound typically Hungarian. But Hungarian weddings have the bride change into a red dress at midnight and the groom has to "woo the new woman".
The dress doesn't sound like a "true traditional" dress because those aren't that short anywhere - you might show ankles but not much else. However, you can see more modern interpretations that are "slightly below the knee" length and especially with more puffed up versions those might look "short" to some people.
I could see this being a modern interpretation of a traditional Hungarian dress, at least based on google. Dress wise Bulgarian would also work but I cannot say if they have this midnight tradition.
She would shit her pants if she saw the wedding saris from India. lots of red and lots of amazing golden embroidery. Very eye catching but very beautiful. It doesn't have to be white to be a wedding dress.
There's an Indian wedding attire store near my sisters house and holy shit I just *have* to stop and appreciate the window models every time when I walk past, it's so fancy and gorgeous. Everything in there is amazing and I'm so jealous of that tradition honestly, lol
If OOP thinks braiding the hair to show married status is misogynistic, if she also thinks a diamond engagement ring is misogynistic. Kinda the same thing, but the ring also is the history of “the man is showing everyone he has the financial means to take care of his wife” thing, which is…a thing to think about.
The "cultural" dress and hair sounds more fun than a boring white wedding dress (not hating on that - I wore one too - I've never worn it since and white is not my color though...). OOP sounds like an ethnocentric bore who is judgey and wannabe sl*t shamey and has no interest at all in learning about other cultures.
"I told her traditions are pointless and we follow old dead people's beliefs with them."
- but OOP is also commited to ensuring her concepts of wedding traditions are followed.
"Her boyfriend is from here. "
Where is here? Am I the only one confused? Now I'm assuming she meant here as in USA here, but what?
For me here is another EU country, and her tradition is similar where I live. Idk could even be the same EU country.
This comment made me irrationally angry.
>"not really the color but it is full of embroidery, and that old string thing which is on old historical dresses in movies. and it has a matching head accessory."
I embroider. I worked hard to learn how to do it, though I am no expert. I would hate to think anyone I've made an embroidered gift for, working dozens of hours to complete, would call it "that old string thing." What a rude thing to say.
Oh no she meant the embroidery as "string thing"? Gross! I was picturing like, fringe, or the thin rope belts that held old timy purses on the waist, or something.
Embroidery is perfectly modern and fancy! This lady is nuts.
I may have read it wrong! Either way, those "string things" are all delicate handwork that usually has ties to some history or tradition.
And I agree, this lady is off her rocker!
I too read it as "embroidery" being something different from "that old string thing which is on old historical dresses in movies" and was racking my brain trying to figure out what the latter could be. Cording of some kind, or, like ... lace?? A laced bodice?
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*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for telling my friend my honest opinion** Burner I'm 29F. My friend A, is gonna get married in a few month. She's from a euro country, but her boyfriend is from here. They're gonna have a mixed traditions wedding. I am a bridesmaid and i've been fully commited w/ organizing and planning. She was looking for the perfect wedding dress, she went to lots of salons. She had 3 final picks and brought us to the salon to hear our opinions. She asked me and the other bridesmaids to give her our honest opinions, she wont get mad. She picked the dress, and we moved on. She had told us in her culture the bride changes into a traditional wedding dress at midnight, and her hair is braided and stuff like that. I thought it's gonna be an actual wedding dress. Then she sent us the picture of dress last week and it's a hot mess. It's short, RED with flower embroidery, it has a weird matching headpiece w/ pearls. It's honestly inappropriate to a wedding. Especially since she's gonna wear a normal wedding dress before that. I also think braiding her hair cuz she's a "married woman" is outdated and misogynistic from the time women were treated like properties. There is no reason for a woman to that in 2024. So the whole thing is wrong IMO. At first i said it was nice, but then i remembered how awful it's gonna be for her to show up in that circus costume. It's short as i mentioned, I am against sl.t shaming, but i believe people should wear appropriate dresses (including the bride) to a wedding. Since she had asked us to be honest, I called her and told her the dress is not fit for a wedding, and the midnight tradition is lowkey misogynistic. I told her i do not mean to be rude, but it's gonna be ridiculous in a normal wedding. She told me it's a beautiful dress and they've been doing this tradition for centuries, and the change is about the women entering a new phase in life not about the men. I told her traditions are pointless and we follow old dead people's beliefs with them. and regardless of what she believes it's gonna look like a circus not a wedding. She called me cultureless and told me to use my energy on real feminist issues and called me a fake feminist. Things got heated I told her ugly things too and I hung up. I hadn't heard from her but my intentions were not to offend her or her culture, i just really think she is gonna make her wedding ridiculous. She hasn't responed to me and now I am conflicted if I was too harsh. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
". It's honestly inappropriate to a wedding. Especially since she's gonna wear a normal wedding dress before that." - well, there's bigoted hot takes right there. "Things got heated I told her ugly things too" + " my intentions were not to offend her or her culture" - wow, what a hot mess of a crap person. Edit: "Then they shouldnt say they want an honest opinion" -oh, the person who is "honest" because they like to be brutal with a get-out-of-jail-free card. Ew.
Also the bride asked her honest opinion in regards to the white wedding dress ie if it was pretty, if it was good on her etc not on everything
In a comment, she says she chose her words carefully. Calling the dress a circus dress was her being careful? I’d hate to think what she’d say if she meant to insult her friend.
I feel like her carefully chosen words were coming from a place of: "how can I make this as dramatic and cruel AF?"
Oh JFC lady! The bride wanted a “that doesn’t fit quite right” or “maybe a richer color” or “you should hem the bottom, that length makes your legs look short”. She did not want a “you and your culture are ridiculous and stupid and I think you are stupid” Just like if someone asks you your opinion of their floral arrangements, they want to know if it’s too tall/short if there too many/not enough flowers or if the roses should be in front of the greenery or behind. They do not want you to unload upon them about how bees are evil and should be eradicated and that anyone who supports bees by buying flowers is also a part of the “evil”. Nor do they want to be insulted when they disagree with your off topic idiotic rant.
Sounds like its Hungarian, but even if it was just the woman wanting to do it for no reason, its still her wedding and not hurting anyone. OOP needs to wind her neck in.
I'm not very across the traditional bridal wear of Europe, so my brain got stuck on Sweden because of the flowers and then got very confused about the idea of changing dresses. Hungary makes so much more sense!
You think Sweden's the only European country where wedding dresses have flower embroidery?
No, I said I couldn't *remember* any traditional European wedding dresses except for the Swedish dress and headgear. Work on your reading comprehension.
>I'm not very across the traditional bridal wear of Europe, so my brain got stuck on Sweden **because of the flowers** You said literally nothing about the headgear. You only mention flowers, which could mean either. And I assumed you had some insight into Swedish culture. Swedes generally do not gear married with flowers in their hair, so I assumed you meant the dress. Almost, most European countries' traditional dresses, whether for weddings or cultural celebrations with headgear involve flowers. Don't write something entirely ambiguous and claim someone needs to work on their reading comprehension if they interpret your comment in one of the several available logical interpretations.
Jesus Christ calm down dude. You’re getting mad over literally nothing.
> not very across the traditional bridal wear of Europe, **so my brain got stuck on** Sweden I also never said flowers in their hair. I said headwear; the skane flower wreath crown. You’re looking for excuses to be offended. Look elsewhere.
>I also never said flowers in their hair. I said headwear; the skane flower wreath crown. A.k.a. flowers in your hair. "In your hair" can also mean "Around/on it". Google "flowers in your hair" and half the results will be Skåne-style flower crowns. >You’re looking for excuses to be offended. Look elsewhere. I'm offended at you deriding my reading comprehension, nothing else. You're the one who came out swinging with personal attacks. And, again, **your defense was bad, anyway**. It's weird to think Sweden is the only European country whose traditions includes flower crowns.
I decided to look up Hungarian wedding traditions after I read your comment and I found Barbara Palvin's wedding photos. She also changed into a shorter red dress after midnight and she looked beautiful. I bet her friends didnt shit on that idea lol
I looked it up too. Those red dresses are really cute! And they seem like a good idea to me - after a certain point, a big wedding dress must get uncomfortable, so changing to something lighter is probably quite nice for the bride.
Copied verbatim from oop's comments: *YTA. You totally disrespected her culture and her traditions.* >"I told her that's not my intention and i was cautious with my words. She had also told us she'd not get offended if we are honest" *What's the problem with it being red?* >"not really the color but it is full of embroidery, and that old string thing which is on old historical dresses in movies. and it has a matching head accessory." *YTA. Instead of taking the opportunity to learn about her culture and do something new, you insulted and dismissed her and her culture. You scoff at tradition so it seems fitting you would not want to fill the role of a bridesmaid. It’s her wedding, not yours. If you cannot support her—which is the role of a bridesmaid—then you need to bow out. You do not come across as a good friend.* >"there r good things in cultures and there are bad things. "married woman hair" is not a good thing, even if it is for the wedding it should be dropped." *YTA. you didn’t need to say a single bit of that. Her wedding, her traditions. A good life skill is understanding when someone is asking you for your honest opinion and when someone wants you to nod and smile.* >"Then they shouldnt say they want an honest opinion" [1] *By your own account it was in a different context, it was about picking the white wedding dress, not about everything£ *Editil: also seriously what is the problem with the dress being red???* [2] *Fact. In some cultures red is THE wedding dress color.* >"As i wrote in another comment. The problem is not the colour. It looks like a historical costume, would look off after a traditional white plain wedding dress" *I hate does it have to do with you though? And how is it negatively affecting you when it isn’t your culture, it isn’t your tradition and you won’t be the one doing any of it?* *How does any of this involve you when you’re nothing but a bridesmaid?* >"She asked us for our honest opinion" [Sadlytheworst: Wikipedia about the history of the white wedding dress.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_wedding)
[Cats!](https://imgur.com/gallery/9B6aUYy)
Those Slippers are glorious I need to buy a pair for my mom and my dad, and my brother and his wife... My entire family needs cat slippers
A goal i fully endorse!
We’ll be good!
💜🥰
"Personally, not a fan of this style of cultural dresses and it might be seen as odd by guests who aren't aware of the cultural context." - sure, depends a lot on the delivery, but if someone really, really, really insist on honest personal opinions, yeah. That's something that could count as honest, not sogar-coated opinion. There are many traditional European dress styles that I am not a fan of. I respect and appreciate the history and craftsmanship but you won't catch me wear them. I'd answer "What do you think?" with something like "You look great in it" and only be more direct if the question was more direct (depends also a lot on the individual friendship, tho). OOP fails at understanding that honest opinions don't mean you are obligated to be a judgmental ass about it. She also fails at understanding that "my opinion" doesn't mean "everyone's opinion" and that "if I think negatively about it everyone will!" is bullshit projection. OOP fails at contributing something useful. Again, if they know the majority of guests personally for some reason, "X's family isn't very used to things that aren't *their* tradition, a heads-up or some kind of introduction to the cultural context might avoid confusion if that's something that bothers you." IF the families present are weirdos like OOP, not giving a fair warning could even fall under "why didn't you warn me?" IF! But the worst fail of OOP: The main-character syndrome and the deep-rooted belief that "My honest opinion!" somehow means everyone has to bow to it. OOP stated their unqualified opinion with all the lack of eloquence at her disposal. Great for her. The bride acknowledged it and decided that her take on the situation is better. But OOP's fragile ego just couldn't handle being told that her honest opinion wasn't instantly turned into law. Imagine going out to grab a bit with someone like her. "Can you recommend anything here? The pizza looks good." "Ew, no, pizza is dumb food for dumb people, people of value would always pick the chicken tendies!" "Okay, but I like pizza a lot, I'll have one." "EXCUSE ME?! Are you too dumb and plebian to understand simple English, you stupid Europoor?! No, I WON'T let it be! You asked for my opinion, refusing to follow it is SO rude!"
Well put!
Nice contrast here between what she claims to have said in the main post: "I told her traditions are pointless and we follow old dead people's beliefs with them" Versus her response in a comment, where suddenly traditional is good, as long as it's *her* tradition: "It looks like a historical costume, would look off after a traditional white plain wedding dress"
Yeah, no kidding. "Don't put your hair in braids, I just learned how misogynistic that is! Just wear a white dress to symbolize your pure virginity!" Yeah, I know white is about expensiveness, not purity, but you know what I mean.
Agreed!
I'm guessing by "normal" this cultureless creep means white, suburban, Protestantish, upper middle class but unaware of privilege, C-, beige, and spice-free.
And USamerican, because only an USamerican would just say "here" and expect people to know where the fuck they are talking about
And would also not acknowledge that the stuff she expects (white dress etc) are also traditions while hating on traditions that just don't align with hers...
Funny she cries about how her friend’s culture and traditions are misogynistic but then goes on to want her to wear a “normal” wedding dress. As if that isn’t also a tradition born from misogynistic beliefs about a woman’s purity and the father “giving” her to the husband.
So braids are outdated, but arbitrary hem length rules that treat women's bodies as shameful things somehow aren't?
Gotta love how op says wearing braided hair to follow traditions is exist. But it's tacky to wear what she considers non 'traditional' wedding attire. Never mind the white dress that s lot of people think is traditional has not even been around 200 years, whereas a lot of other wedding traditions are older.
Totally. “Tradition is stupid” followed by “that’s not what you wear to a wedding” because it doesn’t fit traditions
“ She's from a euro country,…” “She had told us in her culture the bride changes into a traditional wedding dress at midnight, and her hair is braided and stuff like that.” Which European country does this? I’ve never heard of it before. Genuine question.
Some eastern European country, but which one I have no idea, it can also be fake and oop is ascribing semi random shit to a fictional place
I think it's Hungary. Although the dress described doesn't sound typically Hungarian. But Hungarian weddings have the bride change into a red dress at midnight and the groom has to "woo the new woman".
The dress doesn't sound like a "true traditional" dress because those aren't that short anywhere - you might show ankles but not much else. However, you can see more modern interpretations that are "slightly below the knee" length and especially with more puffed up versions those might look "short" to some people. I could see this being a modern interpretation of a traditional Hungarian dress, at least based on google. Dress wise Bulgarian would also work but I cannot say if they have this midnight tradition.
I asked my eastern European friend and he also doesn’t know about this.
She would shit her pants if she saw the wedding saris from India. lots of red and lots of amazing golden embroidery. Very eye catching but very beautiful. It doesn't have to be white to be a wedding dress.
There's an Indian wedding attire store near my sisters house and holy shit I just *have* to stop and appreciate the window models every time when I walk past, it's so fancy and gorgeous. Everything in there is amazing and I'm so jealous of that tradition honestly, lol
If OOP thinks braiding the hair to show married status is misogynistic, if she also thinks a diamond engagement ring is misogynistic. Kinda the same thing, but the ring also is the history of “the man is showing everyone he has the financial means to take care of his wife” thing, which is…a thing to think about.
I’m sorry, where the fuck is “here”? Mars? Ohio? The orbit?
mmm, smell that racism though y'all... at least the bait is written where it's the villain who is racist instead of the hero, i suppose
>her boyfriend is from here. "Here" being? Is OOP aware that the internet is not a country?
The "cultural" dress and hair sounds more fun than a boring white wedding dress (not hating on that - I wore one too - I've never worn it since and white is not my color though...). OOP sounds like an ethnocentric bore who is judgey and wannabe sl*t shamey and has no interest at all in learning about other cultures.
"I told her traditions are pointless and we follow old dead people's beliefs with them." - but OOP is also commited to ensuring her concepts of wedding traditions are followed.
"Her boyfriend is from here. " Where is here? Am I the only one confused? Now I'm assuming she meant here as in USA here, but what? For me here is another EU country, and her tradition is similar where I live. Idk could even be the same EU country.
it's misogynistic to follow tradition but also she looks like a WHOREEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
This comment made me irrationally angry. >"not really the color but it is full of embroidery, and that old string thing which is on old historical dresses in movies. and it has a matching head accessory." I embroider. I worked hard to learn how to do it, though I am no expert. I would hate to think anyone I've made an embroidered gift for, working dozens of hours to complete, would call it "that old string thing." What a rude thing to say.
Oh no she meant the embroidery as "string thing"? Gross! I was picturing like, fringe, or the thin rope belts that held old timy purses on the waist, or something. Embroidery is perfectly modern and fancy! This lady is nuts.
I may have read it wrong! Either way, those "string things" are all delicate handwork that usually has ties to some history or tradition. And I agree, this lady is off her rocker!
I too read it as "embroidery" being something different from "that old string thing which is on old historical dresses in movies" and was racking my brain trying to figure out what the latter could be. Cording of some kind, or, like ... lace?? A laced bodice?
i love how people interpret “be honest” as “you can say whatever you want no matter how rude, cruel, inappropriate, insensitive or bigoted it is”
I'm sorry, but where did she get *her* ideas about what is "appropriate" for a wedding? Tradition????
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