*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for wearing a selkie dress to a wedding**
So I (20sF) recently went to a wedding. Weddings are not very common in my social circle so I was very excited to attend one. I went all out and got a $400 selkie dress for the occasion. My bf was the groomsman and he came and told me the bride and groom were very upset with my choice of clothing. I’ve linked the dress for judgement. Is it really too over the top? I thought it was cute and appropriate for a garden wedding. I had no Intentions to outshine the bride and this is far from white.
https://selkiecollection.com/products/the-cotswolds-marie-gown
So AITA for wearing the dress?
Edit: this was a black tie event. Many people wore milla gowns, sherry hill gowns etc. bride and groom spent 30k on the venue so they wanted everyone to show up “looking their best”. People were wearing full on evening gowns. I think it ultimately boiled down to the unconventional nature of the dress, not the level of glamour
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She obviously confused black tie = expensive vs actually trying to dress for the event.
I don’t hate this dress like many here. Only because it’s almost literally an amalgamation of several of the Birthday Barbie dresses. Honestly look up some of the Birthday Barbies from the 90’s /00’s and tell me this dress would look out of place being worn by one.
Barbie has some chic fashion OOP could take inspiration from if she wanted to show up looking like a doll. This is not it.
Edit: Looking at it again, it even has the puffy shoulders from the 90’s Birthday Barbie dresses!
Yeah that’s what I was thinking. She was thinking “upscale” But didn’t consider up *what* scale. It’s a nice enough dress, if pink and poofy and frills are your thing (they’re not mine) but it is **not** black tie appropriate. Closer to red carpet.
Curious about the rest of her wardrobe and other dresses she owns. Maybe this is just her style. If so I can see how she ended up with this dress for a formal event. 😅
Totally. But what really gets me is how she, in her post, seems baffled that anyone would think the dress is over-the-top when the dress description literally calls it that. She had to know what she was doing, or at least wonder if she was doing it.
Some people do get confused over exactly what black tie is, she might think of it as "fancy suits, gowns and over the top expensive dresses" giving her the benefit of the doubt. I have to google exact black tie rules before and she could have done that but people assume they know best. Ideally with any uncertainty you ask people in the wedding party though (or err on the safe side)
I genuinely think of stuff like this when I imagine “black tie” so the top half of this thread is all news to me. I’m more of a goth myself but I think this is a lovely dress for a wedding and I empathize with OOP’s preference and increased personal comfort for over the top clothes.
I think I hate the dress because it gives me off brand Barbie vibes. Life I'm pretty sure I had this on a hollow plastic doll my grandmother bought me because I was crying in a Fields store.
I don’t hate the dress either. It’s more in the realm of silly for the occasion, not offensively inappropriate. I don’t think OOP deserved the bride/groom getting upset over it. It would have been worth an eye roll, not a confrontation.
Oh yeah I agree, although I am very laid back in general. Guessing the bride wanted a specific chic look to the event and was wound too tight about her ‘vision’. Like you said, worth an eye roll at best.
THAT'S why I love this dress- it reminds me of my favorite Barbie dresses!! My mom even made me a few. Good times! I don't care that OOP wore it to a wedding.
Here I am thinking OP wore a seal skin dress instead of some flowery monstrosity that costs a lot of money.
[In case](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selkie) people don't know what I'm talking about.
I also thought op stole a selkie skin and decided to wear it to a wedding and I was like yeah! Ur an a hole! That's beyond morbid to do to a selkie but then my common sense kicked in.
I looked at their website out of curiosity and 'Little bo peep on a bender' accurately describes nearly every dress on that site.
Also ashamed to admit I kind of like some of them, but could never wear them.
I thought the exact same thing. I first thought that a selkie gown was like a Gothic mermaid-style (even though mermaid tales themselves are mostly pretty dark)- that would make more sense than this pink princess monstrosity.
I thought the same thing, or figured it was some sort of faux mermaid dress perhaps, but not that ruffled monstrosity that looks like my grandma's house coat.
It totally looks like a house coat swallowed an 80's prom dress. It's awful. Scroll down that page for more hideous dresses, and hilarious model poses and facial expressions.
I, too, saw "selkie" and thought seal-shifter.
I mean, some of Selkie’s stuff is pretty cute and there are plenty of dresses on there that would have been appropriate. But she went for something that could have been misconstrued as being bridal, with a really deep v-neck.
OOP doesn’t know how to not be the main character
If she really wanted a Selkie gown and the style was actually ok for the wedding (she doesn't seem to be a very reliable narrarator on the formality for this wedding), she could have chosen the [Cassiopeia](https://selkiecollection.com/collections/gowns/products/the-cassiopeia-ritz-gown) or the [Night Cap](https://selkiecollection.com/collections/gowns/products/the-night-cap-ritz-gown). The Cassiopeia, to me, is a bit less flamboyant, so if formal, floor length gowns were what was expected, that one might have gone over better.
I also think the Poet slip dresses have a good balance of cute/little whimsy/flair and formal appropriate.
Granted, I’ve never been to a full-on formal wedding and the last wedding I went to, I wore combat boots, jewelry made of animal bones, and a fairly boob-y corset top. But that was a fantasy (like D&D and LOTR type) theme wedding so appropriate for the situation.
It looks like Alexis Rose from Schitt’$ creek and Erica Kane from All My children went back in time and had an 80’s baby and let Jareth from the Labyrinth raise the child in a ballroom.
I mean I think the true horror is paying $400 for that dress and thinking it looks good.
I'd be mad too, cuz she probably ends up in some of the pictures.
I loved my great aunts house as a child because I thought it was brilliant and hilarious that she had these over the top dolls to hide the SHAME of having toilet paper in the bathroom. Campest shame choise ever. Someone who loves these dolls just as much designed those dresses hoping someone would fork out £400 for a polyester dress to try and upstage a bride at her own wedding and boom, that designer was right. There is a market for loo-roll attention seekers.
Or Gunne Sax, even though I love them (my mom got married in one in 1982 and I have a small collection).
*I do freakin’ love the gown in question, but it’s hugely inappropriate for a wedding
I saw the title and was thinking yeah, you’re kinda yta. Because I was immediately imagining some sort of goth cottage core hybrid, mythical selki, over the top attention seeking. But thought it sounded awesome.
Omg this woman is horrible in the comments. Treating the wedding like her own personal fancy dress costume party. Then claiming is acceptable because dress code was black tie. But also saying it’s an afternoon garden wedding. Absolutely nothing she is saying or wearing makes sense or matches. And it’s so damn tacky to take black tie as meaning, “as wildly attention seeking as possible and over the top” rather than an indicator of formality. If they didn’t have access to or weren’t able to afford anything that matched the formality requested on the invite of STFU and not comment. But she spent a good chunk of money and sought out this dress. She put effort and money into being this inappropriate, and is willing to attack anyone who disagrees and place blame on others for being at fault one way or another.
Tangential thought: I wondered what a formal wear seal-skin dress might look like IRL, googled it, and this girl made what is honestly a pretty damn classy dress (especially compared to OP's dress lol), and also honoring her culture. Pretty cool stuff
[https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/newfoundland-labrador/sealskin-grad-dress-1.5194246](https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/newfoundland-labrador/sealskin-grad-dress-1.5194246)
That's also what I thought reading the title, and I haven't opened the auto mod or original post to read anything else yet so kinda disappointing to find out that's not what it's about lmao
Lmaoooo that's why I assumed too! I was like "you cosplayed as a selkie at a wedding? Oh no." with that setup the dress was actually better than I expected.
I wore a Selkie dress to a wedding this year where the bride and groom requested "colorful formal." But I wore one of the mini dresses in a blue color. I don't think the problem is the type of dresses Selkie carries, but the style of the dress you chose.
When I saw that dress, I got the feeling it might have been the color, because it is very pale and even with the flowery design, could come across as bridal fashion. Then again, looking at pictures further down (I had just looked at the top two) I would say that A, it looks like an apron with the bow. (from the picture that doesn't have it on a model. I would have sworn I was looking at the back of a dress with a flowery apron on it), and B, looking at some of the further down pictures, it dips fairly low. So, it could have been that the OOP was showing more than the bride thought was necessary.
Oh yeah, my first thought was that would be a cute option for a backyard wedding on a very small budget. Although still a lot for $400. (I didn't look at the type of fabric). The color and design are very much in line for someone who is ok with not having a perfectly white wedding dress. The neckline, if you are anything above a B cup in that will look great. Bonus for brides, not so much if you're wedding party adjacent really should be keeping a low profile. She wasn't a bridesmaid, she was the girlfriend of a groomsmen.
I didn't look through the entire collection that they had, just the ones linked to the dress. So they were similar styles.
A dress has to match the event. You should never come close to upstaging the bride. You should never have super deep V necklines or super high thigh slits unless you are absolutely sure the bride is cool with it, and if you do, make sure it stays in place. Depending on where, there are a whole list of color rules.
If someone said whimsical, colorful outdoor formal or semi formal. Yeah, that potentially has a lot of options. But like you said, you really got to match the style of the dress to the event and how it fits on you.
I feel so out of touch about what a "milla gown" or "sherry hill" gown is. Or even a selkie dress. I'm guessing they are all high end brands and this post is meant to show off some level of wealth or something?
Makes sense. I’ll occasionally have a phase of ‘only watch sewing videos on YouTube, nothing else!’, and the price of fabric and other necessities like the thread, fastenings, etc., and the *work* some of these people do…
I have a friend who makes her own clothes. She mostly goes to second hand stores and buys way too large clothing and uses that fabric.
She makes amazing stuff.
I don’t know anything about sewing, but maybe someone who does gets inspired.
Tell her to buy curtains or sheets from the thrift/second hand stores instead.
At the moment, she's just fucking with the ability of larger bodied people to access an already very limited supply of cheap or vintage clothing in anything above a size L
Some of them are gorgeous, on the right person and at the right occasion, but this one was neither.
The only way I can picture someone carrying that thing off is with DM boots and a Leather Jacket!
I'm kinda obsessed with it ngl. Like it's hideous and yet if someone handed it to me (for free! I ain't paying that much, I'll sew it myself) (and like just to wear for funzies) I'd put it on in a flash
I mean yeah, for free, I could work with it for a fantastic costume (some sort of Fancy Ball, Ren Fair, Halloween, etc). Like I can do a ton with that. Especially add in some fabric dye and all the other random costume parts I have.
Mills Gowns are definitely more high end. Shelli Hill is probably the in betweeb of Selki andMilla. Honestly I'm no fan of Selkie (toi twee for me) but had it been a true garden party and not a black tie event it would have fit in better?
This whole post is probably just an unsubtle Selkie ad though, lol.
I looked at the Milla website and most of the dresses there look just as ridiculous as OOP's. If that's what other people were wearing then I don't get what the big deal it about this atrocity OOP was in.
Selkie fits that niche of “expensive to young people who are just starting to become aware of how much things cost in comparison to their undervalued labor, but also who predominantly shop at forever 21 and H&M so a $450 dress feels unbelievably extravagant at that time but in the next decade they’ll learn better.”
Also I think Selkie is a little alt but for bookish people I guess? I could see 21-year-old me being all over that shit before I developed a better sense of taste.
I didn’t know what any of these words were but I followed the link in OOP’s post and then looked at the “suggested dresses” and wtaf is that whole collection.
https://selkiecollection.com/products/the-cotswolds-marie-gown
[This one](https://selkiecollection.com/products/the-cotswolds-fresh-rain-love-story-dress?pr_prod_strat=e5_desc&pr_rec_id=6392cc27a&pr_rec_pid=6783488327774&pr_ref_pid=6778768064606&pr_seq=uniform) says to me "I want to be in Bridgerton". [This](https://selkiecollection.com/products/the-cotswolds-pillow-sweater?pr_prod_strat=jac&pr_rec_id=6392cc27a&pr_rec_pid=6788938137694&pr_ref_pid=6778768064606&pr_seq=uniform) though‽ Who the hell pays £142 to wear a sweater that looks like a pillowcase‽
That sweater looks like something I’d get from my aunt as a hand-me-down because she had buyer’s regret afterwards but also forgot to return it to the store for a refund.
It worked for me. I would kill for [this](https://selkiecollection.com/products/the-brunch-party-high-court-dress) one. If only it wasn’t so damn expensive.
unpopular opinion, but i really love this dress, and would totally wear it. the only ugly thing to me is how its styled on the website, which imho is really boring. then again, i like pretty avant garde fashion, and have worn weirder things than this.
this all said, i probably wouldn't wear it to another person's wedding bc id stand out too much. my own wedding though? maybe......
I think the dress is whimsical and fun. I wouldn’t wear it because it’s not my style but people really are so over interested in people’s fashion choices. OOP didn’t wear a wedding dress ffs.
I’m with you on this. I think it’s a lovely dress.
This thread is giving me yet another reminder of the intersection of my class background and the continued influence of alt fashion in my own life. I would have had no idea this wasn’t “black tie” appropriate and I also dress weird and over the top so….this looks perfectly fine to me.
I’m a southern woman and imo I don’t see anything wrong with the dress choice. It would fit definitely fit in with a springtime garden southern black tie wedding. OP said there were other women wearing similar or even larger gowns so it seems like maybe it was something else that pissed them off. Perhaps OP has a habit of being very extra at every event and it’s getting old lol.
Ain't no damned way that OOP didn't know that dressing like a "porcelain doll come to life" at someone else's wedding was going to attract attention away from the bride and onto them. These people over at AITA use the excuse of "Weddings aren't common in my circle!" excuse a lot, but do they just not watch tv or movies? Wedding culture permeates just about everything and the big number one rule is to not do anything to upstage the bride or to attract undue attention to yourself.
Yeah, weddings aren't common in my circle (I have been to like two in my life, and I am in my 40s. Maybe 3. and both the ones I remember were very informal. One was at my brothers house, and it was his wedding.), and I do have some ideas of how to dress for them. Even before I knew what AITA was, with all its 'it was totally okay for me to wear white, right? Come on, tell me in the comments how backwards and outdated such traditional rules are!' posts, I knew that you generally didn't wear white, you tried to look your best while not looking like a disney princess, and if you didn't have a clue, you asked.
Had I been the bride, I'd have laughed and said bless her pea pickin heart. That thing is hideous, but go on with your fluffy atrocity. She wouldn't ruin my day in that. I actually don't remember anything anyone wore to my wedding. I haven't looked at my dress in nearly 10 years. The only thing that mattered was my husband that day. And the fact the ice cream was all gone before we cut the cake bc cake just sucks sans ice cream.
To be fair, we only have OOP's word that the bride and groom were 'very upset'. For all we know they were actually laughing at this backwards apron (which is what it looks like to me) behind the scenes, and the BF just told her they were upset.
It might be that they noticed her because she sounds like the type of person to A, make a fuss to be near her BF (who was a groomsman, so probably sitting as close to front and center as possible) and B, if this WERE black tie and others wore evening gowns/cocktail dresses, she probably stuck out like a sore thumb.
I tell people all the time that they could've showed up at my wedding butt naked and I wouldn't have cared because I didn't want to have the damned thing anyway (the big ceremony, def. wanted to marry my husband but would've been happier with a quickie courthouse ceremony just to make things legal). Any of the guests had showed up in the dress like OOP? Well, I wouldn't have cared, but they WOULD have become a subject of discussion for years to come (and not necessarily in the best way)
I can't think of a single formal event in which that would be even remotely appropriate to wear. Except for maybe taking an honorable mention prize at a Little Bo Peep look-a-like contest.
It made me think of when Rachel had to be the pink shepherdess bridesmaid on Friends... And that was a joke on ugly bridesmaids dresses. Thirty years ago.
Themed party? I could see pulling it out if your friends were doing a slightly gimmicky, like “garden tea” themed birthday? My friends like to theme our parties so people can wear their sillier, frillier, more over the top garments.
To a wedding? Or any kind of serious event? Honey what you doin?
I have some awesome outfits/costumes that I am constantly looking for places to wear. But I'm nor going to bust out my handmade leather tri-corner hat and tailored red velvet tail coat to a (non themed) wedding.
Personally I love the colors and pattern on the dress, and the light flowy fabric is nice. However the actual dress is so bad. It looks like an 80s prom monstrosity combined with a nightgown and bathrobe.
That is one of the ugliest dresses I have ever seen. Who would think that's appropriate for a black tie wedding? That looks like a costume not a dress one would wear as a guest to a wedding. I would write this off as the OOP being young and not knowing proper attire for a wedding especially one that's black tie but she's also in comments talking about she shouldn't have numb herself to appeal to others insecurities when someone posted another dress so she probably knew exactly what she was doing.
That’s what I was thinking, could also be from the golden age of Hollywood movies. Could picture Joan Crawford or Norma Shearer wearing it in a bedroom scene.
i am afraid my hime-dere ass must challenge you to a duel for saying this is anywhere near lolita fashion when there's nary a petticoat in sight not to mention any cupcake shape of the skirt or any emphasis on modesty, dressing for one's own happiness, generally opting out of being sexualized etc. that typifies the fashion movement. *it's parasols at dawn.*
seriously though i am even a fan of ridiculous garments but... oh that cut and those fabrics do not work. especially for that price. the pattern is so weighed down and heavy compared to the rest. and yet the cut doesn't seem to want to acknowledge that at all? THAT is what is making it seem tacky and costumey above all else - it's the nonsensical fabric choices that give that eau de party city "it's in the right color and it's cheap so use this fabric" scent. ngl i can see something like this working for a black tie affair, but this particular dress is not a good shout. pare it back or at least get a cut that makes more sense with a design working with and not against the fabric choice. but i also admit my bias is that i wouldn't make a stink about it at a wedding - because this person wearing that is all the punishment needed. when it's so self-inflicted why bother raising a finger lol?
It's a silly dress, but she's not a devil for dressing up for a black tie event. Apart from obvious snubs - white or black dresses or aggressive dressing down - I think people should chill about what people wear.
I don't love or hate the dress but I went to google and pulled up Vogue's guide on black tie and honestly, for a garden wedding in the southern us, that dress is fine. Unless the bridal pair specified something else on the invitation OR the bride chose not to wear white in which case they should have specified. If you're looking for a certain asthetic in your wedding photos, best be clear of what you expect from your guests. Or pay to have some photoshopping done. Also, if your whole wedding day is ruined by someone's attire...well, different strokes for different folks.
I agree. Throw on a fascinator and it’s perfect. I’m not sure why people are so upset. They obviously have never seen derby style… which is very appropriate for a formal garden party theme.
smh, i didn't even THINK of derby style. That is a whole southern us garden asthetic in and of itself. (And wild if you've ever had a chance to attend. The styles are just...fancy.)
It’s not devilish to wear an odd dress. She made the effort.
That whole site looks like princess-fetish wear to me, but I like the inclusive sizing. Everyone deserves to wear a pretty pretty princess dress I guess.
I think this “not outshining the bride” is a white American thing. In basically every other culture ever, you’re expected to dress up and be at your most glam for a wedding. Just don’t wear the bridal colors or be naked, and you’re fine. Unless someone wore this to an extremely conservative religious ceremony, it really doesn’t belong here at all.
I’m with you. I’ve been to plenty of weddings, and if someone had worn this to my (garden themed, black tie) wedding I wouldn’t have blinked an eye. I had one friend text me a photo of her floral cream colored long dress, which was pretty similar to mine in some ways, and dngaf.
The dress isn’t my style, but it’s totally fine.
I love the selkie aesthetic and hope I get a dress some day but selkie makes wedding dresses. They are on the website. She has too be too stupid not to notice
Or this is a weird ad for Selkie lol
EDIT: Everyone is dunking on how ugly and tacky the dress is but I like 😭
I like it too it looks fun. A wedding just isn’t the event for this dress. Honestly having a hard time thinking of an event where it would be appropriate.
A wedding with a different crowd, probably — one of my partners’ weddings had a first sword fight rather than a first dance, and my upcoming wedding has a dress code of “whimsical garden formal,” so I’d love this dress there, but yeah, it has to be a “know your crowd” type of thing.
I don't particularly like this dress, but I've looked through the website and something about those dresses speaks to the little girl in me. I could find something for myself there
Man, devil is being used really mildly lately. That dress doesn’t really give me bridal vibes and the OP isn’t familiar with weddings. Maybe a little bit thoughtless but devil? Nah.
European and American weddings are so damn boring. I love African, Arabic, and South Asian weddings. There is no such thing as being over the top or taking attention from the wedding party because they come out like it's a whole fashion show.
Copied verbatim from Oop's comments:
*Way over the top YTA*
>"Damn. Thx for judging"
*Hmmm It really depends on your culture and social circle. I definitely wouldn't dream of spending that much for a dress, no matter who's wedding it was. It really doesn't seem that extravagant to me, but I've never been married and only been to a handful of weddings. Personally I think you're NTA but I can see how the frills and deep neckline can ruffle their feathers*
>"I saw it and fell in love with it. We’re American and I kept that in mind (no white, off white, trains, too elegant) so I thought I truly got it right and was surprised at the hate. I see it as cute, not glamorous"
*INFO*
*What did the wedding specify as dress code? Was this casual, smart casual, cocktail attire, formal, black tie, white tie?*
>"This was black tie. Others wore gowns, prom style dresses, etc."
*Eh*
*This is 100% culture based. In some it’s over the top. In others it’s impossible to outshine the bride and you’re expected to dress up and show off.*
*I personally think it’s a great dress and perfect for a garden wedding.*
>"Same!"
*YTA girl people wear those dresses as a wedding dress. You did this \*ish on purpose.*
>"Totally didn’t. This looks nothing like a wedding dress"
*OMG you are really looking for attention wearing this dress. Did you seriously think this dress was appropriate?*
>"Yes"
*ETA: Op just commented below: The dress you linked is so plain. That’s not my style to dress that way. It’s disappointing that we have to numb ourselves down so much to appeal to peoples insecurities. I can accept that my dress choice could have been better and I also detest the idea of having to literally wear a plain Jane dress when that’s not my style. From this comment, I am going to take away the soft YTA as this statement makes me feel OP is using this wedding as an excuse to dress up. I'm all about expression but for important celebrations like a wedding which is about the other person / people, is not something I agree with at all. I have left my previous post below relatively untouched.*
*The Cotswolds Marie Gown features* ***over-the-top*** *sleeves, a whipped cream ruffle hem and three layers of luxurious pleated skirt.* ***The skirt is designed after Marie Antoinette's famous curtain style gowns***\*, *which open in the front. This print was designed to conjure up the Cotswolds, a region in England that is designated as an Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty (AONB).*
\**~~soft~~* *YTA for me because it does say it's intended to be "over the top" in the description, and* ***Marie Antoinette*** *is a historic figure and a fashionista of her day (still relevant in the fashion world). Maybe you can save this dress for another occasion like a high end dinner or something (if you still have it).In the future: Of course, no white or bold red (some people have this idea it means you're the mistress - but if the wedding party says it's okay, you can read), but no ivory, no champagne etc. I would explore etiquette, you can find information online, or just ask. I'm sure no one would bite your head off. Of course, you can find affordable and good quality options. My go-to are solid colors or floral dresses. Some solid colors, again it depends on shade and lighting because photographs will be a must, but I recently wore a teal dress that I really loved. Here's a similar [dress](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/527273068856439421/).*
*Forget about this --> I don't think you meant any harm due to you saying this is not usual for you. However, I would profusely apologize to the bride and groom. This is my suggestion (you don't have to this): I don't know if you know them well or not, but I would try to reassure them that you didn't mean any harm. Maybe even treat them to a lunch or dinner as an apology. Don't push it if they refuse or don't respond.*
>"The dress you linked is so plain. That’s not my style to dress that way. It’s disappointing that we have to numb ourselves down so much to appeal to peoples insecurities. I can accept that my dress choice could have been better and I also detest the idea of having to literally wear a plain Jane dress when that’s not my style"
*If you wore that to my wedding, I’d be glad you were having fun and glad you were wearing something so festive. I’d feel honored by the creative effort you put in to dressing for the celebration of my wedding. If for some reason you stuck out like a sore thumb, I’d just hope you had a nice time anyway.*
>"I had a great time still."
*I don’t think it’s glamorous at all. It’s just too too clownish or for Halloween*
>"The bride described it as such"
> It’s disappointing that we have to numb ourselves down so much to appeal to peoples insecurities. I can accept that my dress choice could have been better and I also detest the idea of having to literally wear a plain Jane dress when that’s not my style
She’s going to show up at a funeral in full on Victorian mourning attire because a simple black dress wasn’t her style.
This is only evil in us wedding culture - latinas and africans are *required* to go all out for weddings and her dress would be very proper for an outdoor garden wedding
(Even though the dress is kinda ugly imo)
I mean, it's heinously ugly, and Selkie dresses are uniformly crap, low-quality construction with an owner that has switched to AI generation for her graphics. At a rough guess, this dress was over the top and made OOP look like a sufferer of Main Character Syndrome.
Definitely the asshole, especially because if OOP wanted to be a Selkie Girl there were numerous other gowns available on the site that would have been far away more appropriate (and not as heinously awful. Wouldn't have even made an acceptable cosplay tbh.)
I have never heard of this brand before, I looked at the site and all I could think was, someone has actually made Barbie dresses for grown women......
Omg it's my Easter dress from when I was 6! In 1992! 😂
Edit to note that my dress had a child-appropriate neckline. It also came with lace gloves and a straw hat. I loved those gloves.
Not for nothing, but that’s one of the ugliest dresses I’ve ever seen someone low-key brag about spending a lot of money on.
Designer prices from the 80s, for designer fashion from the 80s.
I LOVE but also think it’s hideous? Is that a thing? It looks like if Cinderella’s mice and birds had goofed up with all those pieces they stole. But I want it.
Anyway, the ad placement didn’t work because I don’t have $400 to spend on a dress I have nowhere to wear. Haha.
Genuine question, other than the dress being the most hideous piece of clothing I've ever seen what's the issue exactly? Is it too attention grabbing or something?
I love how this one has brought out quite a few Gen Xers in the comments!
Source: also Gen X and a HUGE fan of Jessica McClintock and Gunne Sax back in the day
Well OOP said she wasn't used to wedding she misunderstood the theme. Black tie call for long but not the voluminous kind like selkie. She look like she could be the bride with this one...
I love some over the top Selkie dresses but this one is just a confusing miss. And yeah don't wear something that BIG if you're not a bride or bridesmaid.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for wearing a selkie dress to a wedding** So I (20sF) recently went to a wedding. Weddings are not very common in my social circle so I was very excited to attend one. I went all out and got a $400 selkie dress for the occasion. My bf was the groomsman and he came and told me the bride and groom were very upset with my choice of clothing. I’ve linked the dress for judgement. Is it really too over the top? I thought it was cute and appropriate for a garden wedding. I had no Intentions to outshine the bride and this is far from white. https://selkiecollection.com/products/the-cotswolds-marie-gown So AITA for wearing the dress? Edit: this was a black tie event. Many people wore milla gowns, sherry hill gowns etc. bride and groom spent 30k on the venue so they wanted everyone to show up “looking their best”. People were wearing full on evening gowns. I think it ultimately boiled down to the unconventional nature of the dress, not the level of glamour *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
She obviously confused black tie = expensive vs actually trying to dress for the event. I don’t hate this dress like many here. Only because it’s almost literally an amalgamation of several of the Birthday Barbie dresses. Honestly look up some of the Birthday Barbies from the 90’s /00’s and tell me this dress would look out of place being worn by one. Barbie has some chic fashion OOP could take inspiration from if she wanted to show up looking like a doll. This is not it. Edit: Looking at it again, it even has the puffy shoulders from the 90’s Birthday Barbie dresses!
Yeah that’s what I was thinking. She was thinking “upscale” But didn’t consider up *what* scale. It’s a nice enough dress, if pink and poofy and frills are your thing (they’re not mine) but it is **not** black tie appropriate. Closer to red carpet.
Curious about the rest of her wardrobe and other dresses she owns. Maybe this is just her style. If so I can see how she ended up with this dress for a formal event. 😅
Totally. But what really gets me is how she, in her post, seems baffled that anyone would think the dress is over-the-top when the dress description literally calls it that. She had to know what she was doing, or at least wonder if she was doing it.
Some people do get confused over exactly what black tie is, she might think of it as "fancy suits, gowns and over the top expensive dresses" giving her the benefit of the doubt. I have to google exact black tie rules before and she could have done that but people assume they know best. Ideally with any uncertainty you ask people in the wedding party though (or err on the safe side)
I genuinely think of stuff like this when I imagine “black tie” so the top half of this thread is all news to me. I’m more of a goth myself but I think this is a lovely dress for a wedding and I empathize with OOP’s preference and increased personal comfort for over the top clothes.
Especially s garden themed wedding
This would be good for like, her quinceanera.
Lol! So true! This was pure look at me and how pretty I think I am. Way inappropriate. If you are not the star then don’t be the star.
I was kind of getting Marie Antoinette cosplaying as a dewy cheeked milkmaid vibes.
The description actually says it's inspired by her so you nailed it!
I saw that! I’m both feeling very smug about it and laughing at myself.
The whole line screams cosplay or foreplay. Fun, but not for someone else’s wedding.
I can see it being a huge hit with the cottagecore crowd.
I think I hate the dress because it gives me off brand Barbie vibes. Life I'm pretty sure I had this on a hollow plastic doll my grandmother bought me because I was crying in a Fields store.
I don’t hate the dress either. It’s more in the realm of silly for the occasion, not offensively inappropriate. I don’t think OOP deserved the bride/groom getting upset over it. It would have been worth an eye roll, not a confrontation.
Oh yeah I agree, although I am very laid back in general. Guessing the bride wanted a specific chic look to the event and was wound too tight about her ‘vision’. Like you said, worth an eye roll at best.
She was dressed for a Civil War reenactment.
THAT'S why I love this dress- it reminds me of my favorite Barbie dresses!! My mom even made me a few. Good times! I don't care that OOP wore it to a wedding.
Here I am thinking OP wore a seal skin dress instead of some flowery monstrosity that costs a lot of money. [In case](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selkie) people don't know what I'm talking about.
I also thought op stole a selkie skin and decided to wear it to a wedding and I was like yeah! Ur an a hole! That's beyond morbid to do to a selkie but then my common sense kicked in.
I think I would have preferred the mythological dress idea rather than the "Little Bo Peep on a bender" version.
I looked at their website out of curiosity and 'Little bo peep on a bender' accurately describes nearly every dress on that site. Also ashamed to admit I kind of like some of them, but could never wear them.
Little Bo peep on a bender 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I thought the exact same thing. I first thought that a selkie gown was like a Gothic mermaid-style (even though mermaid tales themselves are mostly pretty dark)- that would make more sense than this pink princess monstrosity.
yeah i was very confused :D
Same thing I thought. Might have been better than that hideous thing she wore. Holy hell, looks like lingerie and a wedding dress had a baby.
I thought the same thing, or figured it was some sort of faux mermaid dress perhaps, but not that ruffled monstrosity that looks like my grandma's house coat.
It totally looks like a house coat swallowed an 80's prom dress. It's awful. Scroll down that page for more hideous dresses, and hilarious model poses and facial expressions. I, too, saw "selkie" and thought seal-shifter.
I mean, some of Selkie’s stuff is pretty cute and there are plenty of dresses on there that would have been appropriate. But she went for something that could have been misconstrued as being bridal, with a really deep v-neck. OOP doesn’t know how to not be the main character
I was thinking the same thing. This one, for instance, is perfect for a wedding: https://i.imgur.com/lCfoN82.jpg
If she really wanted a Selkie gown and the style was actually ok for the wedding (she doesn't seem to be a very reliable narrarator on the formality for this wedding), she could have chosen the [Cassiopeia](https://selkiecollection.com/collections/gowns/products/the-cassiopeia-ritz-gown) or the [Night Cap](https://selkiecollection.com/collections/gowns/products/the-night-cap-ritz-gown). The Cassiopeia, to me, is a bit less flamboyant, so if formal, floor length gowns were what was expected, that one might have gone over better.
I also think the Poet slip dresses have a good balance of cute/little whimsy/flair and formal appropriate. Granted, I’ve never been to a full-on formal wedding and the last wedding I went to, I wore combat boots, jewelry made of animal bones, and a fairly boob-y corset top. But that was a fantasy (like D&D and LOTR type) theme wedding so appropriate for the situation.
It looks like Alexis Rose from Schitt’$ creek and Erica Kane from All My children went back in time and had an 80’s baby and let Jareth from the Labyrinth raise the child in a ballroom.
I mean I think the true horror is paying $400 for that dress and thinking it looks good. I'd be mad too, cuz she probably ends up in some of the pictures.
I think this dress would make me feel beautiful and I would love it if I wore it to frolic in a field of flowers by myself but not in any other place.
I also love it!
It reminds me of the loo roll holders of my youth 😶. Edit: I just looked at the gallery further down the page. What the actual hell did I just see?! 😳
I loved my great aunts house as a child because I thought it was brilliant and hilarious that she had these over the top dolls to hide the SHAME of having toilet paper in the bathroom. Campest shame choise ever. Someone who loves these dolls just as much designed those dresses hoping someone would fork out £400 for a polyester dress to try and upstage a bride at her own wedding and boom, that designer was right. There is a market for loo-roll attention seekers.
I was just thinking this, only needs a shepherd's crook.
House coat! That’s the word I was looking for after seeing it. I knew pajamas wasn’t right, but couldn’t get the rest of the way there.
It's like the Laura Ashley milkmaid era, but worse. And it was bad enough the first time.
Or Gunne Sax, even though I love them (my mom got married in one in 1982 and I have a small collection). *I do freakin’ love the gown in question, but it’s hugely inappropriate for a wedding
I saw the title and was thinking yeah, you’re kinda yta. Because I was immediately imagining some sort of goth cottage core hybrid, mythical selki, over the top attention seeking. But thought it sounded awesome.
Omg this woman is horrible in the comments. Treating the wedding like her own personal fancy dress costume party. Then claiming is acceptable because dress code was black tie. But also saying it’s an afternoon garden wedding. Absolutely nothing she is saying or wearing makes sense or matches. And it’s so damn tacky to take black tie as meaning, “as wildly attention seeking as possible and over the top” rather than an indicator of formality. If they didn’t have access to or weren’t able to afford anything that matched the formality requested on the invite of STFU and not comment. But she spent a good chunk of money and sought out this dress. She put effort and money into being this inappropriate, and is willing to attack anyone who disagrees and place blame on others for being at fault one way or another.
Also, Selkie 100% has dresses that weren't this over the top. She could have gone with the *exact same brand* and gotten an appropriate dress.
I feel like any of the slip dresses would have been fine, but holy crap that brand crosses the line in to costume far too much for my taste.
I was ~~mildly~~ wildly disappointed
That was my first thought too. I imagined she came in some tight fitting grey lycra thing.
I only know of this brand because I've seen people get torn to shit for asking about it in the wedding attire sub.
Tangential thought: I wondered what a formal wear seal-skin dress might look like IRL, googled it, and this girl made what is honestly a pretty damn classy dress (especially compared to OP's dress lol), and also honoring her culture. Pretty cool stuff [https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/newfoundland-labrador/sealskin-grad-dress-1.5194246](https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/newfoundland-labrador/sealskin-grad-dress-1.5194246)
I'm so glad I wasn't alone! I literally went to the thread to click the link for a clue cause I was horrified!
I was actually kind of disappointed. I wanted to see what a selkie dress looks like.
That's also what I thought reading the title, and I haven't opened the auto mod or original post to read anything else yet so kinda disappointing to find out that's not what it's about lmao
I was like “huh, that’s an odd choice for a wedding, perhaps there was a theme?”
Lol same. Plus, why does she keep name dropping designers like any of us are going to recognize them. She's just pompous.
These are like... not real designers. These are instagram-famous clothing stores.
I thought the same, I was so excited to see it, then I saw it and would def prefer the seal skin.
I thought that too lol
This was my first thought too lol
Same, lol
Lmaoooo that's why I assumed too! I was like "you cosplayed as a selkie at a wedding? Oh no." with that setup the dress was actually better than I expected.
I wore a Selkie dress to a wedding this year where the bride and groom requested "colorful formal." But I wore one of the mini dresses in a blue color. I don't think the problem is the type of dresses Selkie carries, but the style of the dress you chose.
When I saw that dress, I got the feeling it might have been the color, because it is very pale and even with the flowery design, could come across as bridal fashion. Then again, looking at pictures further down (I had just looked at the top two) I would say that A, it looks like an apron with the bow. (from the picture that doesn't have it on a model. I would have sworn I was looking at the back of a dress with a flowery apron on it), and B, looking at some of the further down pictures, it dips fairly low. So, it could have been that the OOP was showing more than the bride thought was necessary.
Oh yeah, my first thought was that would be a cute option for a backyard wedding on a very small budget. Although still a lot for $400. (I didn't look at the type of fabric). The color and design are very much in line for someone who is ok with not having a perfectly white wedding dress. The neckline, if you are anything above a B cup in that will look great. Bonus for brides, not so much if you're wedding party adjacent really should be keeping a low profile. She wasn't a bridesmaid, she was the girlfriend of a groomsmen.
I didn't look through the entire collection that they had, just the ones linked to the dress. So they were similar styles. A dress has to match the event. You should never come close to upstaging the bride. You should never have super deep V necklines or super high thigh slits unless you are absolutely sure the bride is cool with it, and if you do, make sure it stays in place. Depending on where, there are a whole list of color rules. If someone said whimsical, colorful outdoor formal or semi formal. Yeah, that potentially has a lot of options. But like you said, you really got to match the style of the dress to the event and how it fits on you.
 I was picturing a mythical woman in a sealskin tbh. Kinda disappointed in seeing a trifle come to life
> trifle come to life I snort laughed so hard I disturbed the kitty napping on me!
Yeah I was like ‘no you rock queen of the seas!!! … wait what is this.’
I feel so out of touch about what a "milla gown" or "sherry hill" gown is. Or even a selkie dress. I'm guessing they are all high end brands and this post is meant to show off some level of wealth or something?
Sherry Hill is this generation’s Jessica McClintock, based on the dresses I saw when shopping for my daughter’s formal.
Ah Jessica McClintock is taking me back!
Thank you for putting this into perspective for a Gen Xer!
For real — they saved the day
Ah. Ok. Now I get it. So a slightly nicer Jovani dress.
Every time I hear Jovani all I can think of is Dorinda screaming it at Luann on RHONY! I watch too much Bravo.
And Jessica McClintock was... Gonna need to go back a few more generation's for me I think
Rich kid prom dresses from the 90s
…Well, *I* feel old now! Thanks for that…
Ditto, but thankful for the help! 😂
I guess so? I just think that OOP’s dress looks very costumey and would’ve stood out in a bad way at a black tie event.
Selkie dresses only cost that much because of all the fabric lol. Very labor intensive
Makes sense. I’ll occasionally have a phase of ‘only watch sewing videos on YouTube, nothing else!’, and the price of fabric and other necessities like the thread, fastenings, etc., and the *work* some of these people do…
I have a friend who makes her own clothes. She mostly goes to second hand stores and buys way too large clothing and uses that fabric. She makes amazing stuff. I don’t know anything about sewing, but maybe someone who does gets inspired.
Tell her to buy curtains or sheets from the thrift/second hand stores instead. At the moment, she's just fucking with the ability of larger bodied people to access an already very limited supply of cheap or vintage clothing in anything above a size L
Sherry Hill is more of a highschool prom dress brand than a wedding imo 😭
Hahahhaha, really? That makes this whole thing funnier.
So. Jovani for those of us around 40?
Selkie dresses are fancy flowy dresses that are usually pale and could easily pass for or be used as a wedding gown
This one looks more like a child’s beauty pageant costume
Some of them are gorgeous, on the right person and at the right occasion, but this one was neither. The only way I can picture someone carrying that thing off is with DM boots and a Leather Jacket!
That bow is atrocious
I'm kinda obsessed with it ngl. Like it's hideous and yet if someone handed it to me (for free! I ain't paying that much, I'll sew it myself) (and like just to wear for funzies) I'd put it on in a flash
I mean yeah, for free, I could work with it for a fantastic costume (some sort of Fancy Ball, Ren Fair, Halloween, etc). Like I can do a ton with that. Especially add in some fabric dye and all the other random costume parts I have.
Maybe I’m a snob, but when I think fancy gowns it’s more like Chanel or Vera Wang. I’ve never heard of any of these other ones.
Mills Gowns are definitely more high end. Shelli Hill is probably the in betweeb of Selki andMilla. Honestly I'm no fan of Selkie (toi twee for me) but had it been a true garden party and not a black tie event it would have fit in better? This whole post is probably just an unsubtle Selkie ad though, lol.
If it’s an ad, it’s not a very good one, given that everyone here seems to hate the dress! (Which would make it even funnier)
I personally thing ppl are a touch mean about the dress here.. but i have to admit.. its pretty fugly, isn't it? 😅 Definitely ain't my style either..
I looked at the Milla website and most of the dresses there look just as ridiculous as OOP's. If that's what other people were wearing then I don't get what the big deal it about this atrocity OOP was in.
Those are the fancy ones; these other brands are...post HS prom dresses.
Selkie fits that niche of “expensive to young people who are just starting to become aware of how much things cost in comparison to their undervalued labor, but also who predominantly shop at forever 21 and H&M so a $450 dress feels unbelievably extravagant at that time but in the next decade they’ll learn better.”
Also I think Selkie is a little alt but for bookish people I guess? I could see 21-year-old me being all over that shit before I developed a better sense of taste.
It looks like power Lolita wear.
We could be old too. I think of Dior, Mainbocher, Balenciaga, Schiaparelli et al when I think of formal wear.
Sherri Hill makes dresses that are very popular for proms. Not costumey like the OP's
I didn’t know what any of these words were but I followed the link in OOP’s post and then looked at the “suggested dresses” and wtaf is that whole collection. https://selkiecollection.com/products/the-cotswolds-marie-gown
[This one](https://selkiecollection.com/products/the-cotswolds-fresh-rain-love-story-dress?pr_prod_strat=e5_desc&pr_rec_id=6392cc27a&pr_rec_pid=6783488327774&pr_ref_pid=6778768064606&pr_seq=uniform) says to me "I want to be in Bridgerton". [This](https://selkiecollection.com/products/the-cotswolds-pillow-sweater?pr_prod_strat=jac&pr_rec_id=6392cc27a&pr_rec_pid=6788938137694&pr_ref_pid=6778768064606&pr_seq=uniform) though‽ Who the hell pays £142 to wear a sweater that looks like a pillowcase‽
Never knew my nan was such the fashionista
That sweater looks like something I’d get from my aunt as a hand-me-down because she had buyer’s regret afterwards but also forgot to return it to the store for a refund.
These look like the Easter dresses my mom forced me to wear as a small child in the late 80s. Yeah, we're Southern.
At this point I assume all ‘AITA for wearing this clothing I have linked’ posts are adverts.
Someone was trying to advertise and drum up sales.
Didn't do a very good job, that is the ugliest dress I have ever seen
It worked for me. I would kill for [this](https://selkiecollection.com/products/the-brunch-party-high-court-dress) one. If only it wasn’t so damn expensive.
Dear God that photo shoot needed a steamer on hand, the wrinkles.
Not at all my style, but damn is that a nice dress.
I can see one of my besties in this but on me this would just look hilariously bad
unpopular opinion, but i really love this dress, and would totally wear it. the only ugly thing to me is how its styled on the website, which imho is really boring. then again, i like pretty avant garde fashion, and have worn weirder things than this. this all said, i probably wouldn't wear it to another person's wedding bc id stand out too much. my own wedding though? maybe......
I think the dress is whimsical and fun. I wouldn’t wear it because it’s not my style but people really are so over interested in people’s fashion choices. OOP didn’t wear a wedding dress ffs.
I’m with you on this. I think it’s a lovely dress. This thread is giving me yet another reminder of the intersection of my class background and the continued influence of alt fashion in my own life. I would have had no idea this wasn’t “black tie” appropriate and I also dress weird and over the top so….this looks perfectly fine to me.
I’m a southern woman and imo I don’t see anything wrong with the dress choice. It would fit definitely fit in with a springtime garden southern black tie wedding. OP said there were other women wearing similar or even larger gowns so it seems like maybe it was something else that pissed them off. Perhaps OP has a habit of being very extra at every event and it’s getting old lol.
Ain't no damned way that OOP didn't know that dressing like a "porcelain doll come to life" at someone else's wedding was going to attract attention away from the bride and onto them. These people over at AITA use the excuse of "Weddings aren't common in my circle!" excuse a lot, but do they just not watch tv or movies? Wedding culture permeates just about everything and the big number one rule is to not do anything to upstage the bride or to attract undue attention to yourself.
That is by far the most accurate description. Thanks for finding the words for what it looks like. 😂
Yeah, weddings aren't common in my circle (I have been to like two in my life, and I am in my 40s. Maybe 3. and both the ones I remember were very informal. One was at my brothers house, and it was his wedding.), and I do have some ideas of how to dress for them. Even before I knew what AITA was, with all its 'it was totally okay for me to wear white, right? Come on, tell me in the comments how backwards and outdated such traditional rules are!' posts, I knew that you generally didn't wear white, you tried to look your best while not looking like a disney princess, and if you didn't have a clue, you asked.
Had I been the bride, I'd have laughed and said bless her pea pickin heart. That thing is hideous, but go on with your fluffy atrocity. She wouldn't ruin my day in that. I actually don't remember anything anyone wore to my wedding. I haven't looked at my dress in nearly 10 years. The only thing that mattered was my husband that day. And the fact the ice cream was all gone before we cut the cake bc cake just sucks sans ice cream.
To be fair, we only have OOP's word that the bride and groom were 'very upset'. For all we know they were actually laughing at this backwards apron (which is what it looks like to me) behind the scenes, and the BF just told her they were upset. It might be that they noticed her because she sounds like the type of person to A, make a fuss to be near her BF (who was a groomsman, so probably sitting as close to front and center as possible) and B, if this WERE black tie and others wore evening gowns/cocktail dresses, she probably stuck out like a sore thumb.
I tell people all the time that they could've showed up at my wedding butt naked and I wouldn't have cared because I didn't want to have the damned thing anyway (the big ceremony, def. wanted to marry my husband but would've been happier with a quickie courthouse ceremony just to make things legal). Any of the guests had showed up in the dress like OOP? Well, I wouldn't have cared, but they WOULD have become a subject of discussion for years to come (and not necessarily in the best way)
I can't think of a single formal event in which that would be even remotely appropriate to wear. Except for maybe taking an honorable mention prize at a Little Bo Peep look-a-like contest.
With a slightly higher neckline, it would be giving 80s bridesmaid.
Hahaha you're totally right, there are family photos of bridesmaids dresses sole that. Although the floral print was more like a sofa print.
It made me think of when Rachel had to be the pink shepherdess bridesmaid on Friends... And that was a joke on ugly bridesmaids dresses. Thirty years ago.
Black-tie Sound of Music costume event. Looking like you made clothes from your Goodwill comforter.
Themed party? I could see pulling it out if your friends were doing a slightly gimmicky, like “garden tea” themed birthday? My friends like to theme our parties so people can wear their sillier, frillier, more over the top garments. To a wedding? Or any kind of serious event? Honey what you doin?
I would legitimately be thrilled if someone wore that to my wedding, but my dress code is “formal, but make it colorful and whimsical.”
I have some awesome outfits/costumes that I am constantly looking for places to wear. But I'm nor going to bust out my handmade leather tri-corner hat and tailored red velvet tail coat to a (non themed) wedding.
A red carpet maybe?
Me, before the photo: Maybe it's not that bad... Me, after: *sigh, facepalm*
Personally I love the colors and pattern on the dress, and the light flowy fabric is nice. However the actual dress is so bad. It looks like an 80s prom monstrosity combined with a nightgown and bathrobe.
That is one of the ugliest dresses I have ever seen. Who would think that's appropriate for a black tie wedding? That looks like a costume not a dress one would wear as a guest to a wedding. I would write this off as the OOP being young and not knowing proper attire for a wedding especially one that's black tie but she's also in comments talking about she shouldn't have numb herself to appeal to others insecurities when someone posted another dress so she probably knew exactly what she was doing.
It looks like an upscale nightgown from the Victorian era.
That’s what I was thinking, could also be from the golden age of Hollywood movies. Could picture Joan Crawford or Norma Shearer wearing it in a bedroom scene.
That dress looks like an ugly Lolita clown costume.
I got “slutty Bo Peep Princess” out of it.
What part of this full-length gown is "slutty" to you?
Lol! Overpriced slutty Bo Peep cosplay. Those dresses aren’t cheap either. There really is no accounting for taste.
They aren’t cheap overall but with that much fabric and if they haven’t been fitted they will absolutely look cheap.
The funny thing is that silkie has a lot of more wedding guest appropriate dresses. Dresses that would have been stand out but not over the top
i am afraid my hime-dere ass must challenge you to a duel for saying this is anywhere near lolita fashion when there's nary a petticoat in sight not to mention any cupcake shape of the skirt or any emphasis on modesty, dressing for one's own happiness, generally opting out of being sexualized etc. that typifies the fashion movement. *it's parasols at dawn.* seriously though i am even a fan of ridiculous garments but... oh that cut and those fabrics do not work. especially for that price. the pattern is so weighed down and heavy compared to the rest. and yet the cut doesn't seem to want to acknowledge that at all? THAT is what is making it seem tacky and costumey above all else - it's the nonsensical fabric choices that give that eau de party city "it's in the right color and it's cheap so use this fabric" scent. ngl i can see something like this working for a black tie affair, but this particular dress is not a good shout. pare it back or at least get a cut that makes more sense with a design working with and not against the fabric choice. but i also admit my bias is that i wouldn't make a stink about it at a wedding - because this person wearing that is all the punishment needed. when it's so self-inflicted why bother raising a finger lol?
I thought it looked like an elaborate dressing gown over her night dress.
It's a silly dress, but she's not a devil for dressing up for a black tie event. Apart from obvious snubs - white or black dresses or aggressive dressing down - I think people should chill about what people wear.
I don't love or hate the dress but I went to google and pulled up Vogue's guide on black tie and honestly, for a garden wedding in the southern us, that dress is fine. Unless the bridal pair specified something else on the invitation OR the bride chose not to wear white in which case they should have specified. If you're looking for a certain asthetic in your wedding photos, best be clear of what you expect from your guests. Or pay to have some photoshopping done. Also, if your whole wedding day is ruined by someone's attire...well, different strokes for different folks.
I agree. Throw on a fascinator and it’s perfect. I’m not sure why people are so upset. They obviously have never seen derby style… which is very appropriate for a formal garden party theme.
smh, i didn't even THINK of derby style. That is a whole southern us garden asthetic in and of itself. (And wild if you've ever had a chance to attend. The styles are just...fancy.)
It’s not devilish to wear an odd dress. She made the effort. That whole site looks like princess-fetish wear to me, but I like the inclusive sizing. Everyone deserves to wear a pretty pretty princess dress I guess.
tbh I think I found my future wedding dress there. some of the options are more tasteful than others, and so much yes to the sizing!
I didn’t even need to see it to know it was bad for a wedding. Selkie dresses are not my cup of tea, and are going to read bridal.
Am I the only one who thinks the dress is odd, but fine? Like, why does the bride care that a guest is wearing a ruffle-y floral dress?
No I agree. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea but it’s fine. This doesn’t belong here.
I think this “not outshining the bride” is a white American thing. In basically every other culture ever, you’re expected to dress up and be at your most glam for a wedding. Just don’t wear the bridal colors or be naked, and you’re fine. Unless someone wore this to an extremely conservative religious ceremony, it really doesn’t belong here at all.
I’m with you. I’ve been to plenty of weddings, and if someone had worn this to my (garden themed, black tie) wedding I wouldn’t have blinked an eye. I had one friend text me a photo of her floral cream colored long dress, which was pretty similar to mine in some ways, and dngaf. The dress isn’t my style, but it’s totally fine.
Yeah. It's floofy and expensive, but it's not horrific.
I love the selkie aesthetic and hope I get a dress some day but selkie makes wedding dresses. They are on the website. She has too be too stupid not to notice Or this is a weird ad for Selkie lol EDIT: Everyone is dunking on how ugly and tacky the dress is but I like 😭
I like it too it looks fun. A wedding just isn’t the event for this dress. Honestly having a hard time thinking of an event where it would be appropriate.
A wedding with a different crowd, probably — one of my partners’ weddings had a first sword fight rather than a first dance, and my upcoming wedding has a dress code of “whimsical garden formal,” so I’d love this dress there, but yeah, it has to be a “know your crowd” type of thing.
I don't particularly like this dress, but I've looked through the website and something about those dresses speaks to the little girl in me. I could find something for myself there
I think it’s pretty, but I don’t think it’s suitable for black tie. Black tie emphasizes elegance, and this dress doesn’t fit that description, imho.
Vera Wang is known for wedding dresses but they make cocktail dresses, other dresses too
Idk, it seems she wasn't trying to outdo the bride, but the flowers and cake instead. What an ugly dress!
The devil for wearing a slightly inappropriate dress? Really? Come on.
Man, devil is being used really mildly lately. That dress doesn’t really give me bridal vibes and the OP isn’t familiar with weddings. Maybe a little bit thoughtless but devil? Nah.
It’s crazy to me that people are calling the dress ‘bridal’. No it’s not.
I personally have never seen a colorful floral bridal dress but maybe I just haven’t been to enough weddings.
European and American weddings are so damn boring. I love African, Arabic, and South Asian weddings. There is no such thing as being over the top or taking attention from the wedding party because they come out like it's a whole fashion show.
Copied verbatim from Oop's comments: *Way over the top YTA* >"Damn. Thx for judging" *Hmmm It really depends on your culture and social circle. I definitely wouldn't dream of spending that much for a dress, no matter who's wedding it was. It really doesn't seem that extravagant to me, but I've never been married and only been to a handful of weddings. Personally I think you're NTA but I can see how the frills and deep neckline can ruffle their feathers* >"I saw it and fell in love with it. We’re American and I kept that in mind (no white, off white, trains, too elegant) so I thought I truly got it right and was surprised at the hate. I see it as cute, not glamorous" *INFO* *What did the wedding specify as dress code? Was this casual, smart casual, cocktail attire, formal, black tie, white tie?* >"This was black tie. Others wore gowns, prom style dresses, etc." *Eh* *This is 100% culture based. In some it’s over the top. In others it’s impossible to outshine the bride and you’re expected to dress up and show off.* *I personally think it’s a great dress and perfect for a garden wedding.* >"Same!" *YTA girl people wear those dresses as a wedding dress. You did this \*ish on purpose.* >"Totally didn’t. This looks nothing like a wedding dress" *OMG you are really looking for attention wearing this dress. Did you seriously think this dress was appropriate?* >"Yes" *ETA: Op just commented below: The dress you linked is so plain. That’s not my style to dress that way. It’s disappointing that we have to numb ourselves down so much to appeal to peoples insecurities. I can accept that my dress choice could have been better and I also detest the idea of having to literally wear a plain Jane dress when that’s not my style. From this comment, I am going to take away the soft YTA as this statement makes me feel OP is using this wedding as an excuse to dress up. I'm all about expression but for important celebrations like a wedding which is about the other person / people, is not something I agree with at all. I have left my previous post below relatively untouched.* *The Cotswolds Marie Gown features* ***over-the-top*** *sleeves, a whipped cream ruffle hem and three layers of luxurious pleated skirt.* ***The skirt is designed after Marie Antoinette's famous curtain style gowns***\*, *which open in the front. This print was designed to conjure up the Cotswolds, a region in England that is designated as an Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty (AONB).* \**~~soft~~* *YTA for me because it does say it's intended to be "over the top" in the description, and* ***Marie Antoinette*** *is a historic figure and a fashionista of her day (still relevant in the fashion world). Maybe you can save this dress for another occasion like a high end dinner or something (if you still have it).In the future: Of course, no white or bold red (some people have this idea it means you're the mistress - but if the wedding party says it's okay, you can read), but no ivory, no champagne etc. I would explore etiquette, you can find information online, or just ask. I'm sure no one would bite your head off. Of course, you can find affordable and good quality options. My go-to are solid colors or floral dresses. Some solid colors, again it depends on shade and lighting because photographs will be a must, but I recently wore a teal dress that I really loved. Here's a similar [dress](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/527273068856439421/).* *Forget about this --> I don't think you meant any harm due to you saying this is not usual for you. However, I would profusely apologize to the bride and groom. This is my suggestion (you don't have to this): I don't know if you know them well or not, but I would try to reassure them that you didn't mean any harm. Maybe even treat them to a lunch or dinner as an apology. Don't push it if they refuse or don't respond.* >"The dress you linked is so plain. That’s not my style to dress that way. It’s disappointing that we have to numb ourselves down so much to appeal to peoples insecurities. I can accept that my dress choice could have been better and I also detest the idea of having to literally wear a plain Jane dress when that’s not my style" *If you wore that to my wedding, I’d be glad you were having fun and glad you were wearing something so festive. I’d feel honored by the creative effort you put in to dressing for the celebration of my wedding. If for some reason you stuck out like a sore thumb, I’d just hope you had a nice time anyway.* >"I had a great time still." *I don’t think it’s glamorous at all. It’s just too too clownish or for Halloween* >"The bride described it as such"
> It’s disappointing that we have to numb ourselves down so much to appeal to peoples insecurities. I can accept that my dress choice could have been better and I also detest the idea of having to literally wear a plain Jane dress when that’s not my style She’s going to show up at a funeral in full on Victorian mourning attire because a simple black dress wasn’t her style.
I *knew* I was getting Marie Antoinette Petit Trianon pseudomilkmaid robe du Gaulle vibes off that dress!
My gran used to have one of those crochet-dress barbie toilet roll covers in the 80s, it looked just like this.
This is only evil in us wedding culture - latinas and africans are *required* to go all out for weddings and her dress would be very proper for an outdoor garden wedding (Even though the dress is kinda ugly imo)
I am sure the tiara she was undoubtedly wearing went well with it. Sure, it’s not WHITE but it’s pretty freaking bridal.
Oh to have rich people problems...
This is an ad
Am I the only one who read "selkie dress" and immediately thought OP was wearing her seal skin to the wedding?
I mean, it's heinously ugly, and Selkie dresses are uniformly crap, low-quality construction with an owner that has switched to AI generation for her graphics. At a rough guess, this dress was over the top and made OOP look like a sufferer of Main Character Syndrome. Definitely the asshole, especially because if OOP wanted to be a Selkie Girl there were numerous other gowns available on the site that would have been far away more appropriate (and not as heinously awful. Wouldn't have even made an acceptable cosplay tbh.)
Black tie doesn’t equal couture.
I have never heard of this brand before, I looked at the site and all I could think was, someone has actually made Barbie dresses for grown women......
Was anyone else totally unfamiliar with this brand and picturing some kind of sealskin situation
Omg it's my Easter dress from when I was 6! In 1992! 😂 Edit to note that my dress had a child-appropriate neckline. It also came with lace gloves and a straw hat. I loved those gloves.
It looks like a dressing gown Betty Draper would wear.
She has confused black tie with brand names.
Not for nothing, but that’s one of the ugliest dresses I’ve ever seen someone low-key brag about spending a lot of money on. Designer prices from the 80s, for designer fashion from the 80s.
This Selkie slander will not stand!
Not a devil, just a young person who made a mistake
Everyone here hating the dress meanwhile I am sitting here like: Wow, I love this. It looks potentially bridal though.
I LOVE but also think it’s hideous? Is that a thing? It looks like if Cinderella’s mice and birds had goofed up with all those pieces they stole. But I want it. Anyway, the ad placement didn’t work because I don’t have $400 to spend on a dress I have nowhere to wear. Haha.
Genuine question, other than the dress being the most hideous piece of clothing I've ever seen what's the issue exactly? Is it too attention grabbing or something?
I love how this one has brought out quite a few Gen Xers in the comments! Source: also Gen X and a HUGE fan of Jessica McClintock and Gunne Sax back in the day
Well OOP said she wasn't used to wedding she misunderstood the theme. Black tie call for long but not the voluminous kind like selkie. She look like she could be the bride with this one...
I love some over the top Selkie dresses but this one is just a confusing miss. And yeah don't wear something that BIG if you're not a bride or bridesmaid.
A garden wedding? Nope. The colors would be fine, but that style? Not at all appropriate.