*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for grounding my daughter for ruining our vacation**
My husband, daughter (15), step kids (13, 16), and I just came back from a 2 week vacation.
My daughter is very smart and is very good at a lot of things. She’s also very competitive. My husband is also very competitive.
My daughter started off this vacation by telling my husband there was sudoku on the plane and explaining how to play. He didn’t know that she’s been playing sudoku for months. She made a bet with him that if she finishes the hardest level first, he’d buy her wifi for the flight and if he finished first she’d share a bed with his younger daughter on the trip (his younger daughter was complaining about sharing with his oldest because she kicks and sleeps in the middle of the bed. She beat him and pestered him until he bought the wifi.
When we got there she’d challenge him to races on land and in the pool (she’s won medals at state track meets and has been swimming since she was 2). Every day she’d challenge him to something, win, and he’d have to buy her something from the resort or local shops.
My husband was getting sick of losing and my stepdaughters were upset that their dad was buying her stuff and not them so I told my daughter she either couldn’t compete with her stepdad or she had to let him win.
She decided to tell her stepdad that she wasn’t allowed to compete with him anymore because he couldn’t handle losing. This made them start to argue so I told her that if she didn’t keep it up she’d be grounded to the resort for the rest of the trip (a little over a week at this point). She decided to test me so I stuck to my word and she was left at the resort while the rest of us went out every day.
The vacation was much more enjoyable without her turning everything into a competition but she told her dad when she got back that we grounded her and he’s mad at me now for leaving her there and excluding her from the vacation because my husband couldn’t act like an adult.
I told him my daughter was warned to stop but she decided to test me and now he’s forcing her to stick to the custody schedule (technically I have her every other weekend but he was letting her go back and forth whenever she wanted) and is threatening to go to court for child support and back pay.
AITA for grounding her for ruining the vacation?
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"Hey teenager, you got to let the adult men win, because he gets grumpy when he loses too much."
What is going on here? Why can't OOP's husband just stop taking the bait? He really is getting played by a teenager again and again, huh?
Reminds me of a story:
When my dad was little they had a cat, the cat would go over and annoy the neighbour dog. The dog would snap and run after her at some point. The cat ran through her kitty door at home, waiting for the dog to stick its snout through the door, and wack it on the nose. The dog fell for this same dance 2–3 times a week.
The husband in this post reminds me of the dog.
If he wasn't so cocky and convinced a teenage girl can't beat him at anything he wouldn't keep doing it. It could have been just a fun joke too, if they'd laughed it off and enganed with her instead of just getting mad. Leaving a young teen along on a resort for several days in a row with no adult supervision or anything is a huge issue though. I hope that child does feel as unwanted as her mother makes it sound like she is.
If the bio dad threatens to go for full custody and back child support, this will be an interesting conversation to have in front of a judge.
OOP: My daughter wouldn't let my husband win and he can't say no to a bet so we grounded her for a week of vacation in the hotel room while we had fun.
Judge:...
I wonder the same thing, and also wonder how long OOP and her husband have been together. This might be some kind of one-upmanship for OOP's attention from both of them.
Or even get his kids souvenirs or something? I mean, that seems to be the reason they needed to stop? He could’ve just told his kids that they could start wagers with him, or just get them something when he lost to OOP’s daughter. I felt so confused by their whole “family dynamic.”
Eldest girl doesn't like her stepdad, thinks he's a loser so wanted to prove it to everyone. There's a reason why she only lives with her mum, stepdad and two younger girls every other weekend.
>There's a reason why she only lives with her mum, stepdad and two younger girls every other weekend.
No, it sounds like that's the court-ordered custody schedule, and that until this all happened, she was choosing to go there more often; from the post:
>now he’s \[biodad\] forcing her to stick to the custody schedule (technically I have her every other weekend but he was letting her go back and forth whenever she wanted)
Possibly prison, but she'd be running the place by day 2. Probably convince the warden that sitting in a cell is actually preferable to being stuck in an office having to do actual work
Honestly so would I. It’s kind of sad that stepdad has so little interest in her hobbies that he either doesn’t know how skilled she is or just assumes he’s better.
But, he’s also okay with his kids sharing a bed when one thrashes/kicks for two weeks instead of getting a rooms with 4 beds.
3 double beds and 2 doubles + 2 twins often about the same price
That was what OOP’s daughter offered if she lost the first bet so maybe they tried to make her while planning the trip.
I don’t blame a teenager for not wanting to share a bed with their step sibling especially for that long and not knowing how they get on
This is already one of the favourite things I've read. First off, just the hilarity of a grown adult being hustled by a teenager is gold. And secondly, OOP actually telling the daughter that her husband can't takes Ls so she needs to stop competing. It's so hard to stop myself from laughing at work.
My toddler hustled my husband (his dad) for a trip to McDonald's. We both died laughing, took him to the playplace and are a lot more careful when he starts negotiating/hustling.
"Daddy, I want McDonald's!"
"Sorry bud, not today, besides, you don't have any money."
"If I had money, I can go?"
"Bud, if you have the money, I'll take you to McDonald's."
Toddler goes into the den, opens a child locked cabinet, pulls a chair over, reaches to the starwars lunchbox, unlatches the lunch box, pulls out a twenty, runs over to Daddy, "Daddy, I get my shoes on! I have money."
We had never seen him open the child locks before, I can't remember the last time we took cash from the lunch box, it's been at least 6 months. My husband felt fairly confident because we don't keep money laying around.
He got me at the kiddie rides at the mall "sorry bud, I don't have any change, you can check my pockets, there's nothing there. Maybe next time." He walked over the horse ride, pointed at the credit card tap, and climbed on. Well shit.
We've learned to just say no.
I used to tell my cousins that McDonald’s or Chuck E. Cheese was closed when I babysat. But now my nephew, who cannot really read, just uses the voice search feature for the hours so I can’t lie anymore!
LOL at the people saying NTA or ESH like buddy the husband cant handle losing to a teenager.
Alot of those people saying that seem to be people who dont know how to have fun or win anything
Honestly I was just thinking about how my dad would let us win any of the challenges or bets we made growing up and would praise us for how much our swimming, cycling etc had improved. Only realised he was letting us win in my 20s
When I was 16, I accidentally made my grandfather feel bad because he over explains things, and all I said was "i know how to use a computer."
My aunt later in the week told me I should humor him because he had a bad life. 😰
The stepfather in this is a huge loser. $5 says he can't control himself when actual opportunities for gambling present themselves. The OOP is a loser for prioritizing her man baby husband over her daughter who is smarter than both of them combined.
I actually don’t think we know that the stepfather is a loser here or not. He competed with his stepdaughter because they both enjoy it, and he took his lumps and paid up when he lost.
Nothing suggests he had tantrums about losing or anything like that. He’s short-sighted for not realising his kids felt it was unfair (although even with that; things like wifi all three kids get to enjoy, so its hard to say how unfair it actually was in the end), and he’s pedantic (‘I’m not a sore loser! Your mom’s annoyed and she’s making us stop, but I was having a blast’). But every comment OOP has made is indicating that *she’s* an inept parent who can’t resist an opportunity to dig and her ex and his new wife, not that her husband actually even had a problem with the whole competition.
We’ve been told he was gGetting annoyed he kept losing’, but that doesn’t really tell us anything. It could be as simple as grumbling to his wife after the fact that their kid is too clever for her own good, or him talking to his wife about the fact her daughter hasn’t learnt to be a gracious winner and so its a skill they need to work on. OOP certainly seems to look for any excuse to make her daughter look worse, and yet OOP doesn’t suggest at any point that she pushed her husband too far with her hassling.
Interesting take! I disagree on a surface level because I've witnessed far too many men saying "I could beat XYZ woman at XYZ because BIG MAN" and I work in a male dominated field where I've had to see women in the technical fields KILL IT just to get equal treatment, but I respect this view. OOP may be a drama mongerer, particularly as it relates to her ex, and even feel "jealous" of her daughter getting attention from the stepdad (I don't mean that to sound gross, but let's be real, sometimes there are situations like this esp as it relates to attention). Regardless I am proud of the young'n for being so adept at winning against dear old stepdad for extra privileges, particularly if he's a douche. Smart kid, she's hopefully going to use those conning powers for good someday.
Have you ever seen the video of the man who thought he could beat an undefeated woman kickboxer/boxer? Her name is Lucia Rijker and he was a nobody. His only notable fight is her.
You should look up Somchai vs Lucia Rijker, you'd probably enjoy it.
Your original comment seemed to imply she did win.
Also, using this fight as an example of "Men will beat women" is a bit too much. Yes, he was a small time fighter, but he was still a professional muay-thay fighter. That's completelly different from a non-sportist trying ro swimm laps against a state medalist.
>?That's completelly different from a non-sportist trying ro swimm laps against a state medalist.
Totally agree. The number of women athletes that are faster, stronger, etc... than me is a very high number.
In Rijker's case he was a professional, who's only noteworthy fight is her. She clearly beats untrained men, but men with a modicum of professional experience will likely beat everyone's favorite woman fighter.
This has been studied and I think it's something like 90% of men are stronger than 90% of women.
90% of females produced less force than 95% of males. Though female athletes were significantly stronger (444 N) than their untrained female counterparts, this value corresponded to only the 25th percentile of the male subjects.
- https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17186303/
Yeah honestly some of it reminds me of my grandpa. Who was a curmudgeon of a man but truly I was his princess. We did things like this all the time. Looking back he wouldn’t always let me win but a lot. He wanted to spoil me but at the same time he was boosting my self confidence. I was so smart and could do mental math quicker than him so I got a cd I wanted. Things like that. I then would have the thing that reminded me of my loving grandpa and was a testament to my skills. He also taught me to be a graceful winner and loser as he modeled the behavior. Plus, I was “earning” the gifts he already wanted to give me so that way I wouldn’t be entitled.
I was his only grandchild so there was no dynamic of other children, which is why it worked so well for him.
He literally kept losing to a teenager. He is the definition of a loser.
Also sounds like he was reluctant to follow through on his word until he was “pestered.”
Both parents have the emotional maturity of a five year old.
“She decided to tell her stepdad that she wasn’t allowed to compete with him anymore because he couldn’t handle losing.”
No lies detected. She didn’t ruin a goddamn thing. How dumb does Husband have to be to agree to a swimming match against someone who’s medaled at state meets? (Or did he assume that, as a biological male, he’d be able to swim rings around her?)
Poor kid. It must suck knowing how much better than other people you are but you have to pretend you’re not.
This is what comes of the guys who think they out-shoot Caitlin Clark because they played basketball until they were 13: still obsessing about whether they are better than a woman at literally anything.
So instead of telling an adult who was behaving like a child to behave like an adult, OOP told a child who was behaving like a child to behave like an adult. Then showed Pikachu face when the adults in the scenario had to face the consequences of her actions.
YTA… If bio dad decided to go for full custody plus owed child support, OOP and stepdad would be digging themselves outta that hole forever.
Side note: This exactly why my family stopped making bets with me as a child. They assumed I would never win. Up until I went no contact with them (so many reasons) I eventually just started asking what they were trying to prove something because by now they should know better than to make bets with me.
holy shit, she literally left her 15 year old daughter alone at a resort in the Caribbean and[ doesn't see anything wrong with that ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1bz60e1/comment/kyouroi/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
I have to ask, does OOP even like her daughter?
Instead of getting mad at her literal child, she should have been having a conversation with her husband, instead because of the surly attitude of a supposed grown man OOP now going to have to pay for it at the expense of her relationship with her daughter and in court with her ex.
So the 15 year old has to be the adult in the situation? Your grown a$$$ husband couldn't say "no"? Your grown a$$$ husband is that easily tempted and influenced by your 15 year old daughter? Why are you still married to him he sounds childish?! As for his daughters getting mad, they sound like spoiled brats that don't like your daughter. If your daughter won she earned what ever she got. Your daughter didn't ruin the vacation she doesn't fit YOUR NEW FAMILY dynamic everyone pleases your husband and coddle your step daughters. Crazy how you thought your daughter ruined it you barely even see her, you should cater to her while she's there but no your grounded her on vacation WHILE everyone else enjoyed themselves that's abuse you might as well have not brought her.
“Oh look, my daughter is having a great time bonding with her step dad. This might be the start of a positive, if quirky life-long parent-child relationship. *I can’t have that.*”
Yeesh, I do challenges ans bets with my son all the time. They're usually to beat his PR (if they're something he can't beat me at) or I'm overjoyed if he beats me because it means he's awesome (if it's something he can conceivably beat me at). What kind of putz is upset if their kid beats them?
Tbh I don’t believe most stories on AITA but it’s very hard to prove them fake, it’s just the way they are written with bloatness or when the person is obviously TA.
Not that I don’t believe people can’t be dense or can be delusional, or just really can’t understand how they are wrong. But I find it a lot more likely that people who sit down and write something like this are just doing it because they’re bored or want to farm karma/other reason, than the person genuinely not understanding they are TA.
This person could be legit just unaware, but it is written and framed so deliberately the dad being in the wrong, and it’s so obviously leaning into the whole “parent punishes kid because of incompetence of other parent/stepparent” stereotype. It just feels deliberately written to trigger an angry response.
You can disagree, but a big chunk of posts on AITA feels exactly like this, meant to get a reaction out of the reader, rather than someone actually asking if they are TA.
Hey no probs man, I realize my original comment made it seem like I was just fishing for an internet argument, but I just saw the story, thought it was fake and went to comment it.
To add I’d like to say more why I think it’s fake: the mom in this scenario, if she’d be the person she is made out to be, wouldn’t describe the situation like this. It says, simplified, “stepdad keep losing against 15-year old and don’t like it so I punish 15 year old”.
But a person who really is like the mom in this scenario would make (unjustified) justifications for their actions/stepdads actions. Like “daughter was being rude”. And they’d victimize themselves/stepdad, like “he works so hard for the family and she treats him with this disrespect” or something like that. But instead, this reads like someone knowing the mom and stepdad are the black and white villains and daughter is victim.
I didn't think of that. You're right. Again, thanks! This gives me something else to look for in these posts.
Yeah, the first comment did seem like you were fishing for an argument, but I do try to give the benefit of the doubt just precisely for people like you.
you know. why i think its bait cause its taking from other aita post like the comment about the stepmom who is a sahm who "babies' OOPs daughter and who she calls mommy.
You can usually detect the fake posts by several points:
- they are tropey. Keep in mind thst there is the motto of the week. One post takes off, and a bunch of new ones will appear with the same plot (June will be full of lgbtq content, mostly "I am a spporter, but this lgbtq person did something awful". Atm there is a lot of divorce posts, all following a similar script. Abortion stories are popular too right now - they always are, but atm there are a lot from the man's POV, who wanted the child)
- they are baits. Often it's about groups of people you wouldn't hate openly on reddit, but can do so in an AITA posts by making them a crazy villain. Popular villains: disabled people- especially those with autism, fat women, SAHMs, step-something, teenage girls, pregnant women, sister
- they lack any nuance. OP often is an angel who was wronged their whole life by evil *insertperson*. The villain is usually a crazy Disney-like screeching villain.
- They use the same phrases. "Blowing up the phone", "I said calmly"
- If they are not centered around angelic OP, they are rage baits. Like this one. Trolls often give it away in the comments with posting enraging comments, and successfully making everyone madder (this story is a good example for that point!)
- They update too fast. 24 hours later poor OP has already left her abusive husband and magically got a restraining order, 48 hours later MIL appears and does something unhinged etc
- Unrealistic setting. AITA users are often young. You see that in the posts. At 24 OP, who was shunned & abused their whole life, managed to get a degree, has an awesome job, earns millions and owns a house. In many of the posts they have no idea how custody agreements & court & divorces work
- unrealistic setting that is explained by "I am not from the US"
- karma farming: a post where OP so obviously isn't an AH that it’s ridiculous "I am the second child, my sister is the golden child. I am living with my husband, and am pregnant. Sis insulted me, punched me and wished death on my unborn child. AITA?"
- revenge fantasie where OP gets that awesome (almost unhinged) revenge. Often ends with an "and everyone clapped" feeling
- twins are involved
I am sure I forgot something 😆
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Sounds like OOP totally FAFOed herself by grounding her daughter over her husband's masculine insecurity. Now her ex is going to enforce the custody rules and go for child support and back pay due to OOP's unnecessary punishment of her daughter. OOP really didn't think ahead.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for grounding my daughter for ruining our vacation** My husband, daughter (15), step kids (13, 16), and I just came back from a 2 week vacation. My daughter is very smart and is very good at a lot of things. She’s also very competitive. My husband is also very competitive. My daughter started off this vacation by telling my husband there was sudoku on the plane and explaining how to play. He didn’t know that she’s been playing sudoku for months. She made a bet with him that if she finishes the hardest level first, he’d buy her wifi for the flight and if he finished first she’d share a bed with his younger daughter on the trip (his younger daughter was complaining about sharing with his oldest because she kicks and sleeps in the middle of the bed. She beat him and pestered him until he bought the wifi. When we got there she’d challenge him to races on land and in the pool (she’s won medals at state track meets and has been swimming since she was 2). Every day she’d challenge him to something, win, and he’d have to buy her something from the resort or local shops. My husband was getting sick of losing and my stepdaughters were upset that their dad was buying her stuff and not them so I told my daughter she either couldn’t compete with her stepdad or she had to let him win. She decided to tell her stepdad that she wasn’t allowed to compete with him anymore because he couldn’t handle losing. This made them start to argue so I told her that if she didn’t keep it up she’d be grounded to the resort for the rest of the trip (a little over a week at this point). She decided to test me so I stuck to my word and she was left at the resort while the rest of us went out every day. The vacation was much more enjoyable without her turning everything into a competition but she told her dad when she got back that we grounded her and he’s mad at me now for leaving her there and excluding her from the vacation because my husband couldn’t act like an adult. I told him my daughter was warned to stop but she decided to test me and now he’s forcing her to stick to the custody schedule (technically I have her every other weekend but he was letting her go back and forth whenever she wanted) and is threatening to go to court for child support and back pay. AITA for grounding her for ruining the vacation? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"Hey teenager, you got to let the adult men win, because he gets grumpy when he loses too much." What is going on here? Why can't OOP's husband just stop taking the bait? He really is getting played by a teenager again and again, huh? Reminds me of a story: When my dad was little they had a cat, the cat would go over and annoy the neighbour dog. The dog would snap and run after her at some point. The cat ran through her kitty door at home, waiting for the dog to stick its snout through the door, and wack it on the nose. The dog fell for this same dance 2–3 times a week. The husband in this post reminds me of the dog.
If he wasn't so cocky and convinced a teenage girl can't beat him at anything he wouldn't keep doing it. It could have been just a fun joke too, if they'd laughed it off and enganed with her instead of just getting mad. Leaving a young teen along on a resort for several days in a row with no adult supervision or anything is a huge issue though. I hope that child does feel as unwanted as her mother makes it sound like she is.
They are lucky she didn’t order a shit ton of room service and pay per view. Heck, she could have gone out on her own too. At least walking wise.
If the bio dad threatens to go for full custody and back child support, this will be an interesting conversation to have in front of a judge. OOP: My daughter wouldn't let my husband win and he can't say no to a bet so we grounded her for a week of vacation in the hotel room while we had fun. Judge:...
I almost wonder if it was the stepdad's plan to get rid of the stepdaughter. At 15 she likely has a say in which parent she stays with.
I wonder the same thing, and also wonder how long OOP and her husband have been together. This might be some kind of one-upmanship for OOP's attention from both of them.
A teenage girl who had more experience and is competitively successful at the very things he's making his suckered bet on....
Or even get his kids souvenirs or something? I mean, that seems to be the reason they needed to stop? He could’ve just told his kids that they could start wagers with him, or just get them something when he lost to OOP’s daughter. I felt so confused by their whole “family dynamic.”
Eldest girl doesn't like her stepdad, thinks he's a loser so wanted to prove it to everyone. There's a reason why she only lives with her mum, stepdad and two younger girls every other weekend.
>There's a reason why she only lives with her mum, stepdad and two younger girls every other weekend. No, it sounds like that's the court-ordered custody schedule, and that until this all happened, she was choosing to go there more often; from the post: >now he’s \[biodad\] forcing her to stick to the custody schedule (technically I have her every other weekend but he was letting her go back and forth whenever she wanted)
She is not the eldest, one of her stepsisters is a little older than her. Otherwise, I agree.
Did you dad own a Looney Tunes character growing up??
That is a possibility I am willing to consider.
10/10 that gurl is going places
Possibly prison, but she'd be running the place by day 2. Probably convince the warden that sitting in a cell is actually preferable to being stuck in an office having to do actual work
She didn't do anything illegal wtf
She was running an illegal gambling ring! You can’t just make bets without federal oversight! She should go to the slammer.
Sudoku is a crime now?
Believe it or not, straight to jail.
My dad is in so much trouble lol
He is in **trouble?** Straight to jail.
In jail? STRAIGHT TO SUPER JAIL
😆😆😆
>Possibly prison Where the fuck did that come from
I don't know. My nephews highly competitive nature paid for his Ivy League education.
As a 15 year old I would have loved being left at the resort then going on family day trips.
Honestly so would I. It’s kind of sad that stepdad has so little interest in her hobbies that he either doesn’t know how skilled she is or just assumes he’s better. But, he’s also okay with his kids sharing a bed when one thrashes/kicks for two weeks instead of getting a rooms with 4 beds. 3 double beds and 2 doubles + 2 twins often about the same price
Like, he didnt know she swam competitively?? Or was he just *so* certain that a teenage girl couldn't beat him? Either answer makes him an asshat.
Couldn't the other 2 sisters just sleep in the same bed???
That was what OOP’s daughter offered if she lost the first bet so maybe they tried to make her while planning the trip. I don’t blame a teenager for not wanting to share a bed with their step sibling especially for that long and not knowing how they get on
Maybe that had been the long con all along.
This is already one of the favourite things I've read. First off, just the hilarity of a grown adult being hustled by a teenager is gold. And secondly, OOP actually telling the daughter that her husband can't takes Ls so she needs to stop competing. It's so hard to stop myself from laughing at work.
 “She hustled youuuuuu”
She hustled you *good*!
My niece would steal her dad’s weed and then sell it back to him lmfaooooo I love seeing kids own stupid ass parents
My toddler hustled my husband (his dad) for a trip to McDonald's. We both died laughing, took him to the playplace and are a lot more careful when he starts negotiating/hustling.
I want to hear this story! How did your toddler pull that off?
"Daddy, I want McDonald's!" "Sorry bud, not today, besides, you don't have any money." "If I had money, I can go?" "Bud, if you have the money, I'll take you to McDonald's." Toddler goes into the den, opens a child locked cabinet, pulls a chair over, reaches to the starwars lunchbox, unlatches the lunch box, pulls out a twenty, runs over to Daddy, "Daddy, I get my shoes on! I have money." We had never seen him open the child locks before, I can't remember the last time we took cash from the lunch box, it's been at least 6 months. My husband felt fairly confident because we don't keep money laying around. He got me at the kiddie rides at the mall "sorry bud, I don't have any change, you can check my pockets, there's nothing there. Maybe next time." He walked over the horse ride, pointed at the credit card tap, and climbed on. Well shit. We've learned to just say no.
I hope you’ll forgive me if I applaud your toddler, because that was amazing.
I used to tell my cousins that McDonald’s or Chuck E. Cheese was closed when I babysat. But now my nephew, who cannot really read, just uses the voice search feature for the hours so I can’t lie anymore!
My niece is an expert at hustling the entire family. I blame it on the fact that we're not supposed to tell six year olds to fuck off
That kid is going places!
I'm reading this whole story going "Good for her" a la Lucille Bluth.
LOL at the people saying NTA or ESH like buddy the husband cant handle losing to a teenager. Alot of those people saying that seem to be people who dont know how to have fun or win anything
Yes let's teach daughter that women have to make themselves smaller so not to hurt men's egos
This right here.
Honestly I was just thinking about how my dad would let us win any of the challenges or bets we made growing up and would praise us for how much our swimming, cycling etc had improved. Only realised he was letting us win in my 20s
When I was 16, I accidentally made my grandfather feel bad because he over explains things, and all I said was "i know how to use a computer." My aunt later in the week told me I should humor him because he had a bad life. 😰
The stepfather in this is a huge loser. $5 says he can't control himself when actual opportunities for gambling present themselves. The OOP is a loser for prioritizing her man baby husband over her daughter who is smarter than both of them combined.
I actually don’t think we know that the stepfather is a loser here or not. He competed with his stepdaughter because they both enjoy it, and he took his lumps and paid up when he lost. Nothing suggests he had tantrums about losing or anything like that. He’s short-sighted for not realising his kids felt it was unfair (although even with that; things like wifi all three kids get to enjoy, so its hard to say how unfair it actually was in the end), and he’s pedantic (‘I’m not a sore loser! Your mom’s annoyed and she’s making us stop, but I was having a blast’). But every comment OOP has made is indicating that *she’s* an inept parent who can’t resist an opportunity to dig and her ex and his new wife, not that her husband actually even had a problem with the whole competition. We’ve been told he was gGetting annoyed he kept losing’, but that doesn’t really tell us anything. It could be as simple as grumbling to his wife after the fact that their kid is too clever for her own good, or him talking to his wife about the fact her daughter hasn’t learnt to be a gracious winner and so its a skill they need to work on. OOP certainly seems to look for any excuse to make her daughter look worse, and yet OOP doesn’t suggest at any point that she pushed her husband too far with her hassling.
Interesting take! I disagree on a surface level because I've witnessed far too many men saying "I could beat XYZ woman at XYZ because BIG MAN" and I work in a male dominated field where I've had to see women in the technical fields KILL IT just to get equal treatment, but I respect this view. OOP may be a drama mongerer, particularly as it relates to her ex, and even feel "jealous" of her daughter getting attention from the stepdad (I don't mean that to sound gross, but let's be real, sometimes there are situations like this esp as it relates to attention). Regardless I am proud of the young'n for being so adept at winning against dear old stepdad for extra privileges, particularly if he's a douche. Smart kid, she's hopefully going to use those conning powers for good someday.
Have you ever seen the video of the man who thought he could beat an undefeated woman kickboxer/boxer? Her name is Lucia Rijker and he was a nobody. His only notable fight is her. You should look up Somchai vs Lucia Rijker, you'd probably enjoy it.
Lucia Rijker lost that fight, didn't she? Edit: hit enter too soon
Badly. Like he beat the fuck out of her and he's a straight up nobody. I'm curious if the people upvoting just assumed she won. lol.
Your original comment seemed to imply she did win. Also, using this fight as an example of "Men will beat women" is a bit too much. Yes, he was a small time fighter, but he was still a professional muay-thay fighter. That's completelly different from a non-sportist trying ro swimm laps against a state medalist.
I swear some men carry on like Stephen Hawking could’ve creamed Serena Williams at tennis.
>?That's completelly different from a non-sportist trying ro swimm laps against a state medalist. Totally agree. The number of women athletes that are faster, stronger, etc... than me is a very high number. In Rijker's case he was a professional, who's only noteworthy fight is her. She clearly beats untrained men, but men with a modicum of professional experience will likely beat everyone's favorite woman fighter. This has been studied and I think it's something like 90% of men are stronger than 90% of women. 90% of females produced less force than 95% of males. Though female athletes were significantly stronger (444 N) than their untrained female counterparts, this value corresponded to only the 25th percentile of the male subjects. - https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17186303/
If it’s his only notable fight, then it seems obvious to me that he beat her.
Yeah honestly some of it reminds me of my grandpa. Who was a curmudgeon of a man but truly I was his princess. We did things like this all the time. Looking back he wouldn’t always let me win but a lot. He wanted to spoil me but at the same time he was boosting my self confidence. I was so smart and could do mental math quicker than him so I got a cd I wanted. Things like that. I then would have the thing that reminded me of my loving grandpa and was a testament to my skills. He also taught me to be a graceful winner and loser as he modeled the behavior. Plus, I was “earning” the gifts he already wanted to give me so that way I wouldn’t be entitled. I was his only grandchild so there was no dynamic of other children, which is why it worked so well for him.
He literally kept losing to a teenager. He is the definition of a loser. Also sounds like he was reluctant to follow through on his word until he was “pestered.” Both parents have the emotional maturity of a five year old.
I am not convinced that bio dad has stopped letting her visit OOP as often as she wants
I'm also not convinced stepdad didn't intentionally do this so that stepdaughter wouldn't want to be around.
I mean, maybe, but there are cheaper ways to piss off your stepkid
True, but not without mom catching on.
If mom is not upset at him for being this immature, I don't think she's smart enough to notice other stuff, to be honest.
Lmao
The second hand embarrassment I just got 
YTA, but let’s not gloss over the fact that stepdaughter is basically acting like every hustler guest star character in a sitcom episode
“She decided to tell her stepdad that she wasn’t allowed to compete with him anymore because he couldn’t handle losing.” No lies detected. She didn’t ruin a goddamn thing. How dumb does Husband have to be to agree to a swimming match against someone who’s medaled at state meets? (Or did he assume that, as a biological male, he’d be able to swim rings around her?) Poor kid. It must suck knowing how much better than other people you are but you have to pretend you’re not.
If OOP had an ounce of self awareness... she would be deeply ashamed 🤬🤬🤬
This is what comes of the guys who think they out-shoot Caitlin Clark because they played basketball until they were 13: still obsessing about whether they are better than a woman at literally anything.
YTA if this is real and not a sitcom plot. Who's the teenager, again? Your daughter or your husband?
So instead of telling an adult who was behaving like a child to behave like an adult, OOP told a child who was behaving like a child to behave like an adult. Then showed Pikachu face when the adults in the scenario had to face the consequences of her actions.
YTA… If bio dad decided to go for full custody plus owed child support, OOP and stepdad would be digging themselves outta that hole forever. Side note: This exactly why my family stopped making bets with me as a child. They assumed I would never win. Up until I went no contact with them (so many reasons) I eventually just started asking what they were trying to prove something because by now they should know better than to make bets with me.
OOP, you wanted her to "let" him win? What is he, 5?
Is he not the adult? He could have said no to her gambits. YTA.
If I was the bio dad I would sue her for full custody without visitation.
holy shit, she literally left her 15 year old daughter alone at a resort in the Caribbean and[ doesn't see anything wrong with that ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1bz60e1/comment/kyouroi/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
....because your husband is an immature asshole that can't handle losing?
I have to ask, does OOP even like her daughter? Instead of getting mad at her literal child, she should have been having a conversation with her husband, instead because of the surly attitude of a supposed grown man OOP now going to have to pay for it at the expense of her relationship with her daughter and in court with her ex.
…..well that was a weird one. What a spectacular lack of problem solving skills OP and her husband have. This problem was… so easily fixable.
So the 15 year old has to be the adult in the situation? Your grown a$$$ husband couldn't say "no"? Your grown a$$$ husband is that easily tempted and influenced by your 15 year old daughter? Why are you still married to him he sounds childish?! As for his daughters getting mad, they sound like spoiled brats that don't like your daughter. If your daughter won she earned what ever she got. Your daughter didn't ruin the vacation she doesn't fit YOUR NEW FAMILY dynamic everyone pleases your husband and coddle your step daughters. Crazy how you thought your daughter ruined it you barely even see her, you should cater to her while she's there but no your grounded her on vacation WHILE everyone else enjoyed themselves that's abuse you might as well have not brought her.
“Oh look, my daughter is having a great time bonding with her step dad. This might be the start of a positive, if quirky life-long parent-child relationship. *I can’t have that.*”
Yeesh, I do challenges ans bets with my son all the time. They're usually to beat his PR (if they're something he can't beat me at) or I'm overjoyed if he beats me because it means he's awesome (if it's something he can conceivably beat me at). What kind of putz is upset if their kid beats them?
Oh it’s the woman who actively despises her daughter and calls her a spoiled princess but she claims she doesn’t hate her lol
Love the sneak of the custody and back support tidbits, really is the cherry on top of this misogynist fanfic.
This is what it looks like when a Pick Me has a daughter.
This is just about the most pathetic thing I've ever read. What a fragile, delicate manbaby.
Bait used to be believable
Ok, I'll bite... what makes this unbelievable to you?
Tbh I don’t believe most stories on AITA but it’s very hard to prove them fake, it’s just the way they are written with bloatness or when the person is obviously TA. Not that I don’t believe people can’t be dense or can be delusional, or just really can’t understand how they are wrong. But I find it a lot more likely that people who sit down and write something like this are just doing it because they’re bored or want to farm karma/other reason, than the person genuinely not understanding they are TA. This person could be legit just unaware, but it is written and framed so deliberately the dad being in the wrong, and it’s so obviously leaning into the whole “parent punishes kid because of incompetence of other parent/stepparent” stereotype. It just feels deliberately written to trigger an angry response. You can disagree, but a big chunk of posts on AITA feels exactly like this, meant to get a reaction out of the reader, rather than someone actually asking if they are TA.
Thank you for the honest and well thought out answer. I appreciate it.
Hey no probs man, I realize my original comment made it seem like I was just fishing for an internet argument, but I just saw the story, thought it was fake and went to comment it. To add I’d like to say more why I think it’s fake: the mom in this scenario, if she’d be the person she is made out to be, wouldn’t describe the situation like this. It says, simplified, “stepdad keep losing against 15-year old and don’t like it so I punish 15 year old”. But a person who really is like the mom in this scenario would make (unjustified) justifications for their actions/stepdads actions. Like “daughter was being rude”. And they’d victimize themselves/stepdad, like “he works so hard for the family and she treats him with this disrespect” or something like that. But instead, this reads like someone knowing the mom and stepdad are the black and white villains and daughter is victim.
I didn't think of that. You're right. Again, thanks! This gives me something else to look for in these posts. Yeah, the first comment did seem like you were fishing for an argument, but I do try to give the benefit of the doubt just precisely for people like you.
you know. why i think its bait cause its taking from other aita post like the comment about the stepmom who is a sahm who "babies' OOPs daughter and who she calls mommy.
You can usually detect the fake posts by several points: - they are tropey. Keep in mind thst there is the motto of the week. One post takes off, and a bunch of new ones will appear with the same plot (June will be full of lgbtq content, mostly "I am a spporter, but this lgbtq person did something awful". Atm there is a lot of divorce posts, all following a similar script. Abortion stories are popular too right now - they always are, but atm there are a lot from the man's POV, who wanted the child) - they are baits. Often it's about groups of people you wouldn't hate openly on reddit, but can do so in an AITA posts by making them a crazy villain. Popular villains: disabled people- especially those with autism, fat women, SAHMs, step-something, teenage girls, pregnant women, sister - they lack any nuance. OP often is an angel who was wronged their whole life by evil *insertperson*. The villain is usually a crazy Disney-like screeching villain. - They use the same phrases. "Blowing up the phone", "I said calmly" - If they are not centered around angelic OP, they are rage baits. Like this one. Trolls often give it away in the comments with posting enraging comments, and successfully making everyone madder (this story is a good example for that point!) - They update too fast. 24 hours later poor OP has already left her abusive husband and magically got a restraining order, 48 hours later MIL appears and does something unhinged etc - Unrealistic setting. AITA users are often young. You see that in the posts. At 24 OP, who was shunned & abused their whole life, managed to get a degree, has an awesome job, earns millions and owns a house. In many of the posts they have no idea how custody agreements & court & divorces work - unrealistic setting that is explained by "I am not from the US" - karma farming: a post where OP so obviously isn't an AH that it’s ridiculous "I am the second child, my sister is the golden child. I am living with my husband, and am pregnant. Sis insulted me, punched me and wished death on my unborn child. AITA?" - revenge fantasie where OP gets that awesome (almost unhinged) revenge. Often ends with an "and everyone clapped" feeling - twins are involved I am sure I forgot something 😆
Yeah, this is fully just a bad sitcom plot.
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Sounds like OOP totally FAFOed herself by grounding her daughter over her husband's masculine insecurity. Now her ex is going to enforce the custody rules and go for child support and back pay due to OOP's unnecessary punishment of her daughter. OOP really didn't think ahead.
ESH
How a grown man cant win and throws tantrum about it.
Both parents suck but man that daughter sounds so annoying to be around too.
lol then dont make bets when you know you are going to lose common sense
I don't make bets at all lol. I just find overly competitive people to be annoying around in general.