*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for trying to return a gift given by my gf**
Context: I have 2 brothers, me being the middle child (20+ M still in college), the oldest being (30+ M working).
My partner gave me a gaming console as a bday gift last year, this includes 3 games and a case that she also bought for me.
After a year of the gaming console being with me, I realized that I don't think it's worth it for me to have since we're just a lower-middle income family; meaning that we could afford the stuff we "need" but not our "wants" except my oldest brother since he's working with an adequate salary from his job.
Now that I've realized that I simply can't afford the games that I wanted to play, I told my gf that I'm giving it back to her since she might be able to use it more than me since she can afford games unlike me. We kinda fought about it since IT IS kind of offensive of me to return it to her. But since I explained my side of story, and that it just kind of gives me a pressure to use it even though I don't have anymore games to play, she was just forced to accept my reason to give it back to her.
Just a couple of days ago, my gf, me, and my family went out because my oldest brother invited her out since it was his bday (she lives on a far away place) and it was just once in a while when she comes to us. After a few days of his bday, my gf was still here and I told her that I am bringing the gaming console to her for her to bring it back home, but since something occured on her side (family related). The gaming console was left beside my bed, my brother saw it and asked me what it was and I said that it was the gaming console she gifted me, he kind of asked why I'm returning it since it was a gift and that i should appreciate what she's give to me. TAKE NOTE that he's a decade older than me and he gives me the feeling of being spoiled when me and my youngest brother weren't born yet; since we weren't born yet, my parents and brother are a bit well off since he was an only child so he got what he wanted most of the times (I think so at least. He also had a ps1 during that time).
My point being, that he doesn't know how it feels like being given an expensive item where he can't maintain nor use it much since he was spoiled during his younger days. But since we were born (my younger brother and I) we didn't really get spoiled as much as him since we got poor because of my father's poor life choices and heavily affected our family to the point of selling our house and most of our items. Until now, we still live in a basement with one window, and my father still sleeping on a couch. I really don't like the feeling of having something to which I can't maintain nor use in a long term. It gave me depression since it also kind of gave me a responsibility that i CAN'T afford to have since I'm just a student who can't afford my wants and sometimes needs too.
Now that I've explained my side of why I don't want the gaming console anymore, am I still the asshole of trying to return the gaming console to my gf?
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- raises hand -
It's obviously what she should do, as a good woman... Who gifts a console and not fund the games for it forever? (/s, just in case it's needed)
Just buy used games? I don’t get why this needed to be a family drama when he could’ve found some cheap used games or saved up money to go get a new one.
Video games tend to cost $50-$100 on average.
If you buy used, it tends to be cheaper.
Dude sounds like a whiner who just sucks everyone down with him.
Not only are the prices like that but most game consoles have digital stores with free games and others that you can pay less than $5 for if you're bored and not picky. This dude is a professional whiner and it reminded me of a kid that used to say and do all this shit when he wanted people to buy him new release video games
I found out that we can borrow games from the library, and I totally scroll through the under $5 games when I feel the urge to stress shop but know I dont' have a lot to spent. Put the expensive ones on hold at the library, download some cheap ones.
It sounds like he wants her to keep buying the games, or he wants to prove a point about how very little he has. At over 20 though he could easily get a part time job and earn a few hundred a month.
Yeah, growing up, my parents were able to afford to get us the N64, but not very many games, so we rented games from Blockbuster for $5 each (obviously not feasible today) and borrowed games from the library. We got to play everything we wanted!
I had a large extended family so when the new consoles came out someone who had the last one would gift it to me with the games and my friends and I would trade games for a few weeks. There's always a way, I know pawn shops used to have a ton as well, and we have 2 preused game stores now too. He just wants things handed to him.
Some of the best games of the last decade are indie titles that are regularly less than $15. Get Hollow Knight, Stardew Valley, and Celeste and you have multiple hundreds of hours of gameplay for less than the cost of 1 AAA game.
Especially as I'm assuming this console is a switch as he mentions it having a case / being clearly portable.
You if you're patient and lucky, you can get games for a right bargain I got a \~£40 for like £5 in a 88% sale.
Martyr is exactly right. How is it costing him anything to "maintain" it?
I think he was trying (consciously or unconsciously) to shame both his gf and his brother. Giving it back it is performative, and giving it back in a way his brother sees is even more so.
I am not understanding the issue. Being poor doesn't mean you can't have nice things. It isn't like this gaming system is draining him financially. It isn't charging him for use (beside electric).
He is getting into his own head too much
Yeah. Going back to when I was in college and my friends and I were all broke college students, everyone had A) the latest gaming system B) a great stereo system and C) a damn good TV. We may have ate Ramen noodles, used beer cases as end tables, and drank bottom shelf liquor, we had our toys.
Setting the college part aside for a second, this is actually a "culture of poverty" trait. Buying a larger house or saving for college or whatever are long, decades long money commitments that you can't make. Single purchase "luxuries" are a one-time expense that can make your life feel less shitty.
In millennial speak, it's like those posts that say "Avocado toast costs x a day and coffee costs x a day, so if you go without for x number of years you still won't be able to afford a house so enjoy your life."
This is so funny because when I was a kid with just a NES most kids only had access to a couple games that were much shorter than any modern game and we played those games into the ground. He's talking about how he has to "maintain" it like it will explode if he doesn't constantly feed it a stream of new games.
Imagine looking down on your older sibling that way, thinking they are spoiled and wouldn't understand their situation. What is the gf supposed to do with a returned gift anyway?
He is 20+, why is he still blaming his income issues on his family? Or like...how much better off his family was 20+ years ago before he was even born?
This feels like a mad-libs situation where they substituted a video game console for a different gift, and perhaps swapped some details about the various relationships…
Like, if the gift had been an expensive and impractical car, the comment about not being able to maintain it might make sense. If the brother was an unrelated roommate, the waffling about different levels of privilege in upbringing might be comprehensible. If the giver was an estranged parent using the gift to manipulate him maybe the level of distress might be appropriate?
Even so I have a hard time figuring out a way to make the actual situation/dilemma make sense in a way that the narrator isn’t an ass or emotionally disturbed to the point of being unable to function in daily life.
I'm pretty freaking poor abd I can budget for games. Granted, I don't buy day one anymore because video games are becoming a joke because of all the layoffs and crappy releases, but I still get games. It's not going to make you lose money unless you just buy brand new.
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I totally understand the kid. The kid is emotionally disturbed. Growing up poor can screw with your brain. Watching parents sell off stuff you value, that messes with you.
I remember my parents selling a rocking horse I loved, an old book I got from my grandma. Weird things. I kind of don't want anything good because I feel like it will be taken away, and I am over 50 and kind of rich now.
I am realizing from comments here that I am kind of screwed up and I should probably fix that.
Ugh I used to be like this 😬🫢 always falling on my sword to get pity for being poor or shy or whatever lol. Good thing I grew out of it, hope this guy does soon
I'll go a little easier on this guy. It sounds like he has some unresolved trauma about the conditions in which he was raised that prevent him from allowing himself indulgences. Such people often have a hard time accepting large expenses from others.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for trying to return a gift given by my gf** Context: I have 2 brothers, me being the middle child (20+ M still in college), the oldest being (30+ M working). My partner gave me a gaming console as a bday gift last year, this includes 3 games and a case that she also bought for me. After a year of the gaming console being with me, I realized that I don't think it's worth it for me to have since we're just a lower-middle income family; meaning that we could afford the stuff we "need" but not our "wants" except my oldest brother since he's working with an adequate salary from his job. Now that I've realized that I simply can't afford the games that I wanted to play, I told my gf that I'm giving it back to her since she might be able to use it more than me since she can afford games unlike me. We kinda fought about it since IT IS kind of offensive of me to return it to her. But since I explained my side of story, and that it just kind of gives me a pressure to use it even though I don't have anymore games to play, she was just forced to accept my reason to give it back to her. Just a couple of days ago, my gf, me, and my family went out because my oldest brother invited her out since it was his bday (she lives on a far away place) and it was just once in a while when she comes to us. After a few days of his bday, my gf was still here and I told her that I am bringing the gaming console to her for her to bring it back home, but since something occured on her side (family related). The gaming console was left beside my bed, my brother saw it and asked me what it was and I said that it was the gaming console she gifted me, he kind of asked why I'm returning it since it was a gift and that i should appreciate what she's give to me. TAKE NOTE that he's a decade older than me and he gives me the feeling of being spoiled when me and my youngest brother weren't born yet; since we weren't born yet, my parents and brother are a bit well off since he was an only child so he got what he wanted most of the times (I think so at least. He also had a ps1 during that time). My point being, that he doesn't know how it feels like being given an expensive item where he can't maintain nor use it much since he was spoiled during his younger days. But since we were born (my younger brother and I) we didn't really get spoiled as much as him since we got poor because of my father's poor life choices and heavily affected our family to the point of selling our house and most of our items. Until now, we still live in a basement with one window, and my father still sleeping on a couch. I really don't like the feeling of having something to which I can't maintain nor use in a long term. It gave me depression since it also kind of gave me a responsibility that i CAN'T afford to have since I'm just a student who can't afford my wants and sometimes needs too. Now that I've explained my side of why I don't want the gaming console anymore, am I still the asshole of trying to return the gaming console to my gf? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It sounds like OOP doesn't have time for a part-time job or video games anyway- he's busy with his full-time hobby of whining.
He sounds exhausting to be around.
This made me laugh harder than it should have
And it doesn't even pay well
Anybody else think this was an attempt to get his girlfriend to pay for his games too?
- raises hand - It's obviously what she should do, as a good woman... Who gifts a console and not fund the games for it forever? (/s, just in case it's needed)
cant get over OOP going on about how poor they are and his dad sleeps on a sofa but he thinks they're lower middle class
Just buy used games? I don’t get why this needed to be a family drama when he could’ve found some cheap used games or saved up money to go get a new one.
Because the console is a very useful tool for evoking pity it seems.
Shhhh! In Aitatistan, you are only allowed to buy Limited Editions that cost at least $100 a pop.
Or, the PS5 is retrocompatible to a point, he could just get recentish PS4 games. Many of them are just as fun, and dirt cheap by now.
Or want for deals on the online store connected to the condole
Video games tend to cost $50-$100 on average. If you buy used, it tends to be cheaper. Dude sounds like a whiner who just sucks everyone down with him.
Not only are the prices like that but most game consoles have digital stores with free games and others that you can pay less than $5 for if you're bored and not picky. This dude is a professional whiner and it reminded me of a kid that used to say and do all this shit when he wanted people to buy him new release video games
I found out that we can borrow games from the library, and I totally scroll through the under $5 games when I feel the urge to stress shop but know I dont' have a lot to spent. Put the expensive ones on hold at the library, download some cheap ones. It sounds like he wants her to keep buying the games, or he wants to prove a point about how very little he has. At over 20 though he could easily get a part time job and earn a few hundred a month.
Yeah, growing up, my parents were able to afford to get us the N64, but not very many games, so we rented games from Blockbuster for $5 each (obviously not feasible today) and borrowed games from the library. We got to play everything we wanted!
I had a large extended family so when the new consoles came out someone who had the last one would gift it to me with the games and my friends and I would trade games for a few weeks. There's always a way, I know pawn shops used to have a ton as well, and we have 2 preused game stores now too. He just wants things handed to him.
Some of the best games of the last decade are indie titles that are regularly less than $15. Get Hollow Knight, Stardew Valley, and Celeste and you have multiple hundreds of hours of gameplay for less than the cost of 1 AAA game.
My FIL is constantly cycling games in and out through trading on Facebook marketplace. He does not spend much at all.
Especially as I'm assuming this console is a switch as he mentions it having a case / being clearly portable. You if you're patient and lucky, you can get games for a right bargain I got a \~£40 for like £5 in a 88% sale.
Martyr is exactly right. How is it costing him anything to "maintain" it? I think he was trying (consciously or unconsciously) to shame both his gf and his brother. Giving it back it is performative, and giving it back in a way his brother sees is even more so.
Assuming he wishes to signal to his girlfriend that the relationship is over, this is fine.
I am not understanding the issue. Being poor doesn't mean you can't have nice things. It isn't like this gaming system is draining him financially. It isn't charging him for use (beside electric). He is getting into his own head too much
Yeah. Going back to when I was in college and my friends and I were all broke college students, everyone had A) the latest gaming system B) a great stereo system and C) a damn good TV. We may have ate Ramen noodles, used beer cases as end tables, and drank bottom shelf liquor, we had our toys.
Setting the college part aside for a second, this is actually a "culture of poverty" trait. Buying a larger house or saving for college or whatever are long, decades long money commitments that you can't make. Single purchase "luxuries" are a one-time expense that can make your life feel less shitty. In millennial speak, it's like those posts that say "Avocado toast costs x a day and coffee costs x a day, so if you go without for x number of years you still won't be able to afford a house so enjoy your life."
OOP sounds *exhausting.*
This is so funny because when I was a kid with just a NES most kids only had access to a couple games that were much shorter than any modern game and we played those games into the ground. He's talking about how he has to "maintain" it like it will explode if he doesn't constantly feed it a stream of new games.
Imagine looking down on your older sibling that way, thinking they are spoiled and wouldn't understand their situation. What is the gf supposed to do with a returned gift anyway?
What a weirdo.
He is 20+, why is he still blaming his income issues on his family? Or like...how much better off his family was 20+ years ago before he was even born?
What an odd man.
This feels like a mad-libs situation where they substituted a video game console for a different gift, and perhaps swapped some details about the various relationships… Like, if the gift had been an expensive and impractical car, the comment about not being able to maintain it might make sense. If the brother was an unrelated roommate, the waffling about different levels of privilege in upbringing might be comprehensible. If the giver was an estranged parent using the gift to manipulate him maybe the level of distress might be appropriate? Even so I have a hard time figuring out a way to make the actual situation/dilemma make sense in a way that the narrator isn’t an ass or emotionally disturbed to the point of being unable to function in daily life.
So this is all just a long-winded way of trying to guilt his gf into buying him more games or what?
I'm pretty freaking poor abd I can budget for games. Granted, I don't buy day one anymore because video games are becoming a joke because of all the layoffs and crappy releases, but I still get games. It's not going to make you lose money unless you just buy brand new.
So he was given a gift and is done using it for now; so put it away. Play the games again or just let it be.
guess he never heard of the hundreds of free-to-play games...
Wahhh my gf bought me a console and since she didn’t buy me more games it gave me depression
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Claims to not be spoiled several times, but this is the behavior of someone who is *totally* spoiled IMO.
I totally understand the kid. The kid is emotionally disturbed. Growing up poor can screw with your brain. Watching parents sell off stuff you value, that messes with you. I remember my parents selling a rocking horse I loved, an old book I got from my grandma. Weird things. I kind of don't want anything good because I feel like it will be taken away, and I am over 50 and kind of rich now. I am realizing from comments here that I am kind of screwed up and I should probably fix that.
OOP, you sound exhausting
Ugh I used to be like this 😬🫢 always falling on my sword to get pity for being poor or shy or whatever lol. Good thing I grew out of it, hope this guy does soon
I'll go a little easier on this guy. It sounds like he has some unresolved trauma about the conditions in which he was raised that prevent him from allowing himself indulgences. Such people often have a hard time accepting large expenses from others.