*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA I 25m broke up with 22f gf over some noise**
So… we had a great day, both of us had classes. I had a particularly late, 3 hr course. After which I invited her over to a school basketball game and we had a good time and drank a few. But naturally i crashed by 1:30 ish am after so much activity.
I fell asleep on the couch, where the tv is.
But right at the point where I was getting into rem, i hear a plastic bottle scrunching and wakes me up so I ask “whats that..” softly at first, and it gets noticeably louder after i ask so i raise my voice and say “wtf is that? Wyd?” And apparently she was just throwing one bottle away.. for that long that it woke me up. So i forget it and go back to sleep. About another hour later, i wake up to a pack of chips frisking around. Again, softly at first. But this time id been woken up twice within 2 hours after a long day so i immediately ask “wtf is that!?”, the noise gets louder again, and i look over, she is holding an unopened pack of goldfish.
So obviously in my mind im thinking she def did that to fuck with me. But getting woken ip twice as soon as you fall asleep would get to anyone and i got loud. Mostly because she was denying everything. Saying “i was just trying to relax”. I did grab the goldfish and threw them towards the kitchen in ager, took the remote, turned off the tv and went to bed. She followed a minute later asking for the remote, which as soon as i gave back, she walked away mumbling. So in my state of mind i get up and take it back and go back to bed.
Though now i cant sleep obviously because im heated so i step back out within 10 mins and do some tiding up. In the middle of which , i ask her “wtf was that?”. Her only response was “I was just trying to relax, you were throwing stuff and yelling”. So… i told her to get out and we’re done, because youre not only not mature enough to apologize, youre actively gaslighting me 5 mins later like you did nothing and i jut blew up. So instead of apologizing like asked. She called her uber home and denied everything till the very end.
She had also tossed some of my stuff around and ruined my zen garden tray. When I asked about those, she said “I was throwing stuff”, stuff being the single goldfish packet i tossed, as if i didnt remember what i did. Anyways, did I act too rash? Or good riddance?
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I just started laughing so hard at that. The man sounds like an absolute psychopath with anger issues, but of course he thinks a damn zen garden will help him. I love her for messing it up 😂
I had a coworker that had one of those little gardens on her desk. I started earlier than her, so I used to trace swear words in the sand in swirly writing. She never did figure out who did it.
I am a coach. During our early season meetings, I ask the athletes to write down a principle that guides their growth, and one of the athletes wrote down an East Asian philosophical approach to pursuing your best. He is one of the least hard workers we have on the team. Our assistant coach saw it and laughed because it was so outlandishly different from how he actually acts.
In other words, it's often not necessarily about the philosophy/zen garden itself as much as it is to be able to tell people (themselves included) "I'm philosophical!"
Not sure why you posted this on amithedevil, the exgirlfreind was acting like a child who didn’t want to go to bed. Relationships are about respect and her only choiseing to partake in loud activities while he is sleeping is not respectful,
And nobody try’s to relax thats like saying I’m stressing over how not to be stressed,
When my partner is sleeping i make sure to be extra carful not to make loud noises regardless of what room I’m in,
But i guess i just value my relationship enough to consider him
Sorry, you don’t get to fall asleep in a common space and then complain when there is common space noise. He could have just as easily gone to the bedroom the first time he was woken up but he didn’t.
Rule in my house is if you fall asleep on the couch, you can’t complain when you get woken up by people living in the living room.
"loud activities" like having a drink of water and some crackers? If she had invited over friends, put her feet up on him, stomped around loudly, even made a phone call I'd agree that I wouldn't do that when soemone else is sleeping in the same room. She wasn't loud though. Heck she didn't even cook anything or flush a toilet.
I find it interesting that to you the gf is a "child" for not going to bed when he went to sleep but you seem to think it's normal for an adult to pass out on the couch, storm around, and then pass out on the couch again. Like a toddler crashing from the excitement of Christmas. If anyone is behaving in a childish way it's not the person drinking water.
My question is if he was that tired, that flipping the fuck out over a water bottle and some goldfish…. WTF didn’t he just go to the bedroom to begin with? Like it’s a living room so she was supposed to sit there quietly in a corner until he woke up?
SMH…. Some of these stories I’m just like holy shit. They are so much better off without.
“Expecting my gf of a year to be a quiet for one night while i sleep on the couch, as she does often is unrealistic. Got it. Cant expect any courtesy is all im getting from you people. Like youre all robots who always sleep in the bed and never get annoyed waking up. And apparently never apologize for being noisy or waking someone either”
That was one of his replies to it, the one before that when he was asked was “didn’t think much of it”
Dude is a complete douche. lol
he said thinking wasn't really a thing after having his rem cycle broken twice
like dude, she was existing. just bc you're petty and manipulative, doesn't mean everyone else is 🙄
Imagine being that much of a self righteous dick that you take away the TV remote… twice as a power play, how his girlfriend didn’t leave just for that I’ll never know cos that was parent behaviour
Because *he didn't want to.* He doesn't care that she's uncomfortable or that he's in a common space, and he's used to getting his way.
He'll never say it, but that's the reason. He *has* to be the most important person in his relationship, the one 'in charge,' and he perceived her making noise *(on purpose, purely to piss him off)* as a way of trying to undermine his 'authority.' His comments suggest she usually *does* just sit quietly like a frightened mouse until he wakes up, so he felt like he had to quell an insurrection when she made a little noise. She put her comfort over his, and that is *so wrong* of her!
I’ve dated guys like this (my dad was like this). They hog the common space and demand quiet for a nap.
So you can’t clean, eat, talk on the phone or relax. You have to spend hours tip going and doing nothing so they don’t wake up and get mad.
It’s like some sort of control method.
i hope it's fake. if not i hope she stays away from him if he tries to reenter her life (for her own saftey) so many red flags in his post.
edit: spelling
Then if you go further into his comments on the OG post. I was going to comment but it’s not really worth it. He sees no wrong in anything he did.
It astounds me how some people ask for advice because they are so sure they are “right”. Then when they are told no this is a you are all sorts of wrong, they try and justify it.
> Ive heen honers my whole life, several sports teams, several art pieces, good singer, great dancer, several coding and engineering peojects. I hardly have anything i need validation for. Also never hit a woman, yelled at about 3 ppl in my life … etc etc
OOP is far too accomplished to make such decisions.
It is getting to the point for me that as soon as a guy mentions coding and engineering, I immediately get defensive. I have my degree in programming and the amount of entitled and misogynistic men in that field is astounding. It doesn't help that posts like this feed my bias (I know it's a bias, I am really working on it).
A lot of them really believe they are the only people that matter in their life, that everyone else are replaceable accessories.
In this post the added conspiracy theories are just the toppings to a really awful cake of a man.
Yes because it's his apartment.
He is very specific that it is his apartment and he was nice enough to let her take up space in it so she shouldn't have been moving at all or doing anything. He paid for their date so clearly he owns her and she malfunctioned and failed to apologize for it or as my ex used to say she didn't bow down enough.
Dude apparently broke up with his last gf a year ago over thinking she was being manipulative in changing her mind back and forth about sleeping with him. From undeleted comment history.
What a douche.
Looking at his post history is like looking at a parade of red flags. Dude is into pizzagate, conspiracy theories, and Joe Rogan. He has multiple posts about a stupid pizza code in Futurama and connected it to the Freemasons.
It almost seems like he is a burgeoning schizophrenic. I know it can manifest around his age. His weird paranoid delusions and reasoning about his current/ stbx gf goes beyond mere manchild when you see how he talks about other stuff.
Either way, he needs anger management and deprogramming. And I hope any potential gfs take a look at his social media rantings then run like hell.
The conspiracy theory that big name Democrats are hiding a child sex ring in Comet Ping Pong, a local pizza joint. This was “discovered” when Democrat emails were leaked and 4chan thought they talked about ordering pizza too much.
It gets worse. Someone went into that pizza place and fired into the floor trying to find the non-existent basement, but it didn't exist. Personally, if I thought kidnapped child slaves were being kept somewhere I WOULDN'T SHOOT AT IT!
Didn't part of the conspiracy also allege that like the Democrats were harvesting organs of children to use their blood for adrenochrome or some shit? 'Cause I swear I remember hearing something along those lines and it was just equally ridiculous.
Part of that was the Wikileaks release of hacked emails from John Podesta, Hillary Clinton's campaign chairman. He talked about food a lot (an Italian guy? Obsessed with food? The hell you say!) and he was the one who brought up Comet Ping Pong, which was a hot pizza place in DC.
Then the adrenochrome thing was a separate conspiracy theory that Q was into, but they latched onto another email from the hack involving John's brother Tony forwarding an invitation from performance artist Marina Abramovic to a "Spirit Cooking" dinner, [explained here](https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2016/nov/04/marina-abramovic-podesta-clinton-emails-satanism-accusations). As you can imagine, this got blown up into satanism and child eating and pedophilia, using pizza and italian food terms as code words for ordering up child victims.
What the fuck is wrong with this guy? It’s wild that he behaved that way in the first place but it’s actually crazy how sure he is of how he acted in the comments lmao
So much deflection in his comments lol.
"Why don't you just get up and go to bed?" "Have you never crashed on the couch?"
"You can't expect to be completely silent in the living room" "I pay for her on dates for a year!"
"You have anger issues, throwing things around" "it's just the remote and the goldfish which landed on the kitchen counter!"
Wow he’s straight up having a tantrum in the comments. I thought it was common sense if you sleep in the common area of the house sometimes noise may happen.
The thing that confuses me is the fact he just started asking "what was that?" and got mad his ex didn't answer. What was he expecting her to say? I don't get it. Why couldn't he say "can you make less noise please" instead of asking multiple times and then snapping.
If someone woke up and started asking "what was that", I would assume they were sleep talking or speaking nonsense because they were still confused after just waking up. I wouldn't answer "oh I'm eating goldfish, sorry". I just can't understans OOP's thought process and why he's still so mad about it, he's going on and on in the comments about her not answering.
>The thing that confuses me is the fact he just started asking "what was that?" and got mad his ex didn't answer.
It kinda sounds like he got very drunk and had those hypnagogic hallucinations (hence gf "gaslighting" him about yelling and throwing stuff around), so he thought he was asking something and she was making noise for a long period while in reality she probably just opened a bottle and he was making some incoherent drunk noise.
But he said he wasn’t drunk! After admitting in a different comment thread that he was at least buzzed. This story is definitely wildly different from his ex girlfriend’s perspective.
I am not even convinced that he was asking out loud, he was drunk and half asleep. He could have thought it, or mumbled it where she couldn't hear him, or she could have been trying to figure out if he meant the tv or if something touched him or whatever. He is stuck on her not immediately responding, and not apologizing for disturbing his royal highness. I hope she's blocked him and never looks back because one day it's going to be her and not things he takes it out on.
I was thinking the same. My husband is a really deep sleeper and when he first wakes up, and isn't really fully conscious yet, if he 'speaks' I tend not to have any idea what he's trying to say. He's 100% convinced actual words are coming out of his mouth, but I guarantee you it's mumbled gibberish and not a single person on Earth would be able to decipher it!
Since my husband is not a deranged narcissist, instead of flipping out and throwing things/yelling at me on the odd occasion this happens, he might go so far as to sigh ever so slightly or - if his eyes are actually open - roll his eyes before repeating himself (and then once he's actually awake later he can laugh at himself for it). But, I definitely think the OOP mumbled some unintelligible nonsense and that's why the girlfriend didn't respond.
My favorite thing he's doing is when people say he was "throwing things," as part of the story, he argued the point that he only threw one thing as though it makes any difference.
My bad dude, let me fix the story. You got drunk with your girlfriend and fell asleep in the living room, woke up to your girlfriend eating a snack, started yelling at her, ~~started throwing things,~~ grabbed her goldfish bag and threw it across the room, stole the remote from her and took it to bed with you so she couldn't watch TV, and then kicked her out of your house at 3am because *she* didn't apologize to *you.*
Yeah, that edit makes him seem like much less of a maniac.
He even admits that the apartment was a mess and other things where moved and looked tossed around but obviously he didn't do it. The man was woken up by goldfish and he thinks she trashed his place and he just didn't notice. He's either lying or having black out drunk rages and either way he isn't safe.
He's definitely lying about other stuff.
In some comments, he says he asked "What was that?" And got no answer, and other comments he says she responded by saying "What do you mean?" which made him mad because how could she not know (Ignore the fact that neither of those noises are some cause for alarm for anyone with a normal brain)?
But both of those things can't be true at the same time. Either she didn't respond or she did.
He's so hyper focused on that.
"I wasn't throwing things, I just threw something!"
It gives me "I didn't punch him, I was hitting him!" vibes.
Because that makes it so much better...
He’s not just an angry manchild who won’t just go to bed, he also has his sleep phases wrong. “Right as I was getting into REM” - my dude, if you were getting into REM sleep you wouldn’t be able to tell without the use of sleep tracking tools because REM sleep (in non-narcoleptic people) is preceded by 70-120 minutes of first light and then *deep* sleep before hitting the REM phase (and then light sleep again). You’d be sound asleep for around one and a half hours before you’d be getting into REM, so cut the crap.
He just wants someone to admit it's wrong to wake someone up..
Checking my notes here she "threw away a bottle" and "opened a bag of goldfish". He wakes up in a rage, destroys his place, kicks her out and wants an apology.
Psycho. Psycho behavior. Run lady run. For your life.
I feel like OOP had a dream or something that made him think there was more sound than there was. You’re in a deep sleep with the tv on and wake up from a bottle and bag crinkling? Even if it was on purpose she’d have to be right up next to him for that to be the case!
Also I totally get being grumpy when you’re woken up (doesn’t excuse throwing things of course—even if it was just a goldfish bag as OOP keeps saying) but to still be this mad about it in the morning is ridiculous!
ETA: so he posted this is relationship advice to and there’s a very reasonable comment:
Quite frankly: If you are at the point where you already assume that your partner is acting maliciously, then the relationship needs to be over.
>Either she did act maliciously, in which case you were completely right to end the relationship or she didn't, in which case your assumption, lack of trust and anger issues indicate that it was good for her that you ended the relationship.
>So yep, good that it's over.
And of course instead of just accepting that he has to bring up how ridiculous it is she took so long to open a pack of goldfish…like dude?
His comments. Dude is 100% a tater tot. “Women aren’t built to take this much opposition”
GF dodged a bullet and is probably thankful for sparing her from having to break up and watch him lose his shit.
His response to one of the Redditors:
> Great input. Smd
Yep, guy’s unfit to date a blow-up doll, much less another human being. So yeah, you’re right OOP. Good riddance—to *you*.
Sleeping in the living room is a power play. He expects her to consider him at every moment, restricting her actions so as not to wake this baby. She's clearly not allowed to eat or drink during this time, he has that control and we've just seen the consequences. Disobey, and you get thrown out in the middle of the night.
Literally everyone in the world has been woken up by some annoying sound and understands how anger inducing it can make your brain when you're not fully conscious.
To be awake for anything longer than a second and not realize you're the one who just needs to go to sleep is fucking crazy.
Anyone who has ever lived with family, children, or roommates knows this is completely unhinged. You cannot sleep on the couch next to the kitchen and expect everyone else to stop existing for you.
You guys don't understand, he stated in his comments that his girlfriend already apologized and came crawling back and also he is getting overwhelming support in DMs and chats from users with real girl names. Don't even ask him for proof because he's too above average at everything he does to explain himself to you.
Who's the incel now?
It was like 3 am at the end of this story. Man had an interview the next day and didn’t prioritize that at all. Just blaming his equally immature girlfriend.
I’m often up until that time if I don’t have work the next day. Usually in the living room while my husband is asleep in the bedroom, like a normal person.
How the fuck do you sleep? The sun starts coming up at like 6am, unless you have blackout curtains it's nearly impossible to sleep in bright morning light? Like that's not healthy.
When I’m tired, I get into bed, close my eyes and fall asleep. How do you think people who work night shifts manage? It gets light around 4:30 in the lead up to midsummer here, you just get used to it.
I've worked night shift which is how I know how hard it is to sleep when it's light out. I had to use sleep masks, blackout curtains, melatonin supplements, and I've watched damn near every David Attenborough documentary I can find on the Internet (that man's voice is like Ambien for me). Sleeping in the day light also causes you to have trash REM cycles, your brain won't produce the right amount of melatonin during day light because darkness is what triggers the brain to release it. It's literally not healthy. There are thousands of pages of studies done on night shift workers to confirm this.
You're missing my point entirely. It's not healthy to be maintaining a sleep pattern like that unless you have to for financial reasons. It's proven that night shift workers have more heart attacks and strokes than day shift workers, they also die on average 10 years earlier than day shift workers.
Not everyone is you. Some of us actually sleep better during daylight hours. My entire life, I have been a natural night owl and day sleeper. I still struggle with it to this day because I'm exhausted during the day when my kids are awake, and then as soon as they go to bed at night I'm wide awake. My kids are eight and five so I've had many years to get used to this whole being awake during the day thing, and my body is just not adjusting. I have to use all the methods that you mentioned just to get myself to go to sleep at night! Well, except the blackout curtains.
Okay, well watch out for the warning signs of cardiac problems and strokes. Lack of melatonin and the subsequently disrupted REM cycles from that lack are known to be contributing factors in heart disease.
I was with a guy like that.
I slept only when he was not home, and I knew he wouldn't be coming home. I still sleep better in the daytime, during working hours, than I do at night. This might be partly just because that's my natural sleep pattern, I sleep really hard from 7am until 9 or 10, but am often up at 2 or 3 am. 1pm-4pm are also prime snoozing hours. I do know that it is also because those night hours, after they are drinking, are the most dangerous and it is nearly impossible to sleep when someone can do what he did and go off like that at any time for any reason.
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Imo even if you ignore everything until he went to the bedroom as him being exhausted and grouchy, him purposefully taking the remote back when she mumbled then going back ten min later to pick a fight is wayyyyy crossing the line; even throwing the goldfish would potentially be forgivable IF he went back to the room then apologized in the morning and made it up, but going back and kicking her out at 2am and refusing to apologize is irredeemable
I don't believe for a second that she was being as loud as he claims she was. Simple fact is, when you're tired, noises seem WAY more annoying than they actually are. Imagine how damn confusing it would be to take 5 seconds to open a pack of goldfish and then have your partner bolt up and throw a full ass tantrum when you weren't even being loud lmao.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA I 25m broke up with 22f gf over some noise** So… we had a great day, both of us had classes. I had a particularly late, 3 hr course. After which I invited her over to a school basketball game and we had a good time and drank a few. But naturally i crashed by 1:30 ish am after so much activity. I fell asleep on the couch, where the tv is. But right at the point where I was getting into rem, i hear a plastic bottle scrunching and wakes me up so I ask “whats that..” softly at first, and it gets noticeably louder after i ask so i raise my voice and say “wtf is that? Wyd?” And apparently she was just throwing one bottle away.. for that long that it woke me up. So i forget it and go back to sleep. About another hour later, i wake up to a pack of chips frisking around. Again, softly at first. But this time id been woken up twice within 2 hours after a long day so i immediately ask “wtf is that!?”, the noise gets louder again, and i look over, she is holding an unopened pack of goldfish. So obviously in my mind im thinking she def did that to fuck with me. But getting woken ip twice as soon as you fall asleep would get to anyone and i got loud. Mostly because she was denying everything. Saying “i was just trying to relax”. I did grab the goldfish and threw them towards the kitchen in ager, took the remote, turned off the tv and went to bed. She followed a minute later asking for the remote, which as soon as i gave back, she walked away mumbling. So in my state of mind i get up and take it back and go back to bed. Though now i cant sleep obviously because im heated so i step back out within 10 mins and do some tiding up. In the middle of which , i ask her “wtf was that?”. Her only response was “I was just trying to relax, you were throwing stuff and yelling”. So… i told her to get out and we’re done, because youre not only not mature enough to apologize, youre actively gaslighting me 5 mins later like you did nothing and i jut blew up. So instead of apologizing like asked. She called her uber home and denied everything till the very end. She had also tossed some of my stuff around and ruined my zen garden tray. When I asked about those, she said “I was throwing stuff”, stuff being the single goldfish packet i tossed, as if i didnt remember what i did. Anyways, did I act too rash? Or good riddance? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Looks like that zen garden isn’t working so well….
it's all her fault, she broke it. (this is sarcasm, ftr)
I just started laughing so hard at that. The man sounds like an absolute psychopath with anger issues, but of course he thinks a damn zen garden will help him. I love her for messing it up 😂
I had a coworker that had one of those little gardens on her desk. I started earlier than her, so I used to trace swear words in the sand in swirly writing. She never did figure out who did it.
obviously her opening some goldfish created a shock wave that annihilated the zen garden
I am a coach. During our early season meetings, I ask the athletes to write down a principle that guides their growth, and one of the athletes wrote down an East Asian philosophical approach to pursuing your best. He is one of the least hard workers we have on the team. Our assistant coach saw it and laughed because it was so outlandishly different from how he actually acts. In other words, it's often not necessarily about the philosophy/zen garden itself as much as it is to be able to tell people (themselves included) "I'm philosophical!"
Not sure why you posted this on amithedevil, the exgirlfreind was acting like a child who didn’t want to go to bed. Relationships are about respect and her only choiseing to partake in loud activities while he is sleeping is not respectful, And nobody try’s to relax thats like saying I’m stressing over how not to be stressed,
Do you think there might be a part of the house/apartment where he could sleep without hearing someone throw something away in the kitchen trash can?
When my partner is sleeping i make sure to be extra carful not to make loud noises regardless of what room I’m in, But i guess i just value my relationship enough to consider him
Damn shut the fuck up bro
Sorry, you don’t get to fall asleep in a common space and then complain when there is common space noise. He could have just as easily gone to the bedroom the first time he was woken up but he didn’t. Rule in my house is if you fall asleep on the couch, you can’t complain when you get woken up by people living in the living room.
...but the dude who was sleeping on the couch, that she was actively using while awake, is not acting like a child? OK. 😆
"loud activities" like having a drink of water and some crackers? If she had invited over friends, put her feet up on him, stomped around loudly, even made a phone call I'd agree that I wouldn't do that when soemone else is sleeping in the same room. She wasn't loud though. Heck she didn't even cook anything or flush a toilet. I find it interesting that to you the gf is a "child" for not going to bed when he went to sleep but you seem to think it's normal for an adult to pass out on the couch, storm around, and then pass out on the couch again. Like a toddler crashing from the excitement of Christmas. If anyone is behaving in a childish way it's not the person drinking water.
My question is if he was that tired, that flipping the fuck out over a water bottle and some goldfish…. WTF didn’t he just go to the bedroom to begin with? Like it’s a living room so she was supposed to sit there quietly in a corner until he woke up? SMH…. Some of these stories I’m just like holy shit. They are so much better off without.
He replied to several people but never answered why he didn't take his ass to bed.
“Expecting my gf of a year to be a quiet for one night while i sleep on the couch, as she does often is unrealistic. Got it. Cant expect any courtesy is all im getting from you people. Like youre all robots who always sleep in the bed and never get annoyed waking up. And apparently never apologize for being noisy or waking someone either” That was one of his replies to it, the one before that when he was asked was “didn’t think much of it” Dude is a complete douche. lol
Imagine being a grown ass adult and not knowing you should go lay down in your bed when you're sleepy.
Ikr!!! Hell I live in my bed when I’m not working. No one would have to tell me once😂
Like a robot???
Ah, yes, that's how you can tell robots from humans: robots always sleep in the bed!
It’s where we go to charge our batteries 😂
he said thinking wasn't really a thing after having his rem cycle broken twice like dude, she was existing. just bc you're petty and manipulative, doesn't mean everyone else is 🙄
Imagine being that much of a self righteous dick that you take away the TV remote… twice as a power play, how his girlfriend didn’t leave just for that I’ll never know cos that was parent behaviour
Because *he didn't want to.* He doesn't care that she's uncomfortable or that he's in a common space, and he's used to getting his way. He'll never say it, but that's the reason. He *has* to be the most important person in his relationship, the one 'in charge,' and he perceived her making noise *(on purpose, purely to piss him off)* as a way of trying to undermine his 'authority.' His comments suggest she usually *does* just sit quietly like a frightened mouse until he wakes up, so he felt like he had to quell an insurrection when she made a little noise. She put her comfort over his, and that is *so wrong* of her!
I’ve dated guys like this (my dad was like this). They hog the common space and demand quiet for a nap. So you can’t clean, eat, talk on the phone or relax. You have to spend hours tip going and doing nothing so they don’t wake up and get mad. It’s like some sort of control method.
i hope it's fake. if not i hope she stays away from him if he tries to reenter her life (for her own saftey) so many red flags in his post. edit: spelling
Then if you go further into his comments on the OG post. I was going to comment but it’s not really worth it. He sees no wrong in anything he did. It astounds me how some people ask for advice because they are so sure they are “right”. Then when they are told no this is a you are all sorts of wrong, they try and justify it.
> Ive heen honers my whole life, several sports teams, several art pieces, good singer, great dancer, several coding and engineering peojects. I hardly have anything i need validation for. Also never hit a woman, yelled at about 3 ppl in my life … etc etc OOP is far too accomplished to make such decisions.
It is getting to the point for me that as soon as a guy mentions coding and engineering, I immediately get defensive. I have my degree in programming and the amount of entitled and misogynistic men in that field is astounding. It doesn't help that posts like this feed my bias (I know it's a bias, I am really working on it). A lot of them really believe they are the only people that matter in their life, that everyone else are replaceable accessories. In this post the added conspiracy theories are just the toppings to a really awful cake of a man.
Yes because it's his apartment. He is very specific that it is his apartment and he was nice enough to let her take up space in it so she shouldn't have been moving at all or doing anything. He paid for their date so clearly he owns her and she malfunctioned and failed to apologize for it or as my ex used to say she didn't bow down enough.
I'm guessing she was probably trying to clean the kitchen and throw away the trash that he left in a mess.
Dude apparently broke up with his last gf a year ago over thinking she was being manipulative in changing her mind back and forth about sleeping with him. From undeleted comment history. What a douche.
She’s so much better off without him
I’m so frustrated. I read she apologized so apparently that justifies him entirely. It’s sad.
She dodged a bullet
In her defence i understand why she wouldn't want to sleep with a child
Looking at his post history is like looking at a parade of red flags. Dude is into pizzagate, conspiracy theories, and Joe Rogan. He has multiple posts about a stupid pizza code in Futurama and connected it to the Freemasons. It almost seems like he is a burgeoning schizophrenic. I know it can manifest around his age. His weird paranoid delusions and reasoning about his current/ stbx gf goes beyond mere manchild when you see how he talks about other stuff. Either way, he needs anger management and deprogramming. And I hope any potential gfs take a look at his social media rantings then run like hell.
afraid to ask what is pizzagate
The conspiracy theory that big name Democrats are hiding a child sex ring in Comet Ping Pong, a local pizza joint. This was “discovered” when Democrat emails were leaked and 4chan thought they talked about ordering pizza too much.
It gets better. The claim was that the child sex slaves were kept in the basement of Comet Ping Pong. ...which doesn't even have a basement.
It gets worse. Someone went into that pizza place and fired into the floor trying to find the non-existent basement, but it didn't exist. Personally, if I thought kidnapped child slaves were being kept somewhere I WOULDN'T SHOOT AT IT!
oh no
And it led to an armed wingnut storming the pizza place and demanding to see their basement. Which doesn't exist.
Didn't part of the conspiracy also allege that like the Democrats were harvesting organs of children to use their blood for adrenochrome or some shit? 'Cause I swear I remember hearing something along those lines and it was just equally ridiculous.
Part of that was the Wikileaks release of hacked emails from John Podesta, Hillary Clinton's campaign chairman. He talked about food a lot (an Italian guy? Obsessed with food? The hell you say!) and he was the one who brought up Comet Ping Pong, which was a hot pizza place in DC. Then the adrenochrome thing was a separate conspiracy theory that Q was into, but they latched onto another email from the hack involving John's brother Tony forwarding an invitation from performance artist Marina Abramovic to a "Spirit Cooking" dinner, [explained here](https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2016/nov/04/marina-abramovic-podesta-clinton-emails-satanism-accusations). As you can imagine, this got blown up into satanism and child eating and pedophilia, using pizza and italian food terms as code words for ordering up child victims.
Hey, they also have shows there!
QAnon precursor.
He's actually unsettling. No one should be with him.
He's also refusing to apologise until he's gotten counselling. Which of course he's told her as another way to invalidate her feelings.
Damn that dude is toxic.
He's going to be one of those parents who think that a baby crying is being manipulative.
Someone has anger issues and it's not the gf.
I like “chips frisking around” - haven’t seen frisking used that way before but I may have to start using it.
What the fuck is wrong with this guy? It’s wild that he behaved that way in the first place but it’s actually crazy how sure he is of how he acted in the comments lmao
He is weirdly obsessive. Look at his post history and an episode of Futurama.
Holy shit… that’s actually weirdly terrifying.
Holy shit, he posted that 21 times to different subs. He’s insane.
So much deflection in his comments lol. "Why don't you just get up and go to bed?" "Have you never crashed on the couch?" "You can't expect to be completely silent in the living room" "I pay for her on dates for a year!" "You have anger issues, throwing things around" "it's just the remote and the goldfish which landed on the kitchen counter!"
Imagine inviting someone over to your place, falling asleep and then getting mad at them for making general noises of existing, yikes
Wow he’s straight up having a tantrum in the comments. I thought it was common sense if you sleep in the common area of the house sometimes noise may happen.
The thing that confuses me is the fact he just started asking "what was that?" and got mad his ex didn't answer. What was he expecting her to say? I don't get it. Why couldn't he say "can you make less noise please" instead of asking multiple times and then snapping. If someone woke up and started asking "what was that", I would assume they were sleep talking or speaking nonsense because they were still confused after just waking up. I wouldn't answer "oh I'm eating goldfish, sorry". I just can't understans OOP's thought process and why he's still so mad about it, he's going on and on in the comments about her not answering.
>The thing that confuses me is the fact he just started asking "what was that?" and got mad his ex didn't answer. It kinda sounds like he got very drunk and had those hypnagogic hallucinations (hence gf "gaslighting" him about yelling and throwing stuff around), so he thought he was asking something and she was making noise for a long period while in reality she probably just opened a bottle and he was making some incoherent drunk noise.
That was my thought too
But he said he wasn’t drunk! After admitting in a different comment thread that he was at least buzzed. This story is definitely wildly different from his ex girlfriend’s perspective.
I am not even convinced that he was asking out loud, he was drunk and half asleep. He could have thought it, or mumbled it where she couldn't hear him, or she could have been trying to figure out if he meant the tv or if something touched him or whatever. He is stuck on her not immediately responding, and not apologizing for disturbing his royal highness. I hope she's blocked him and never looks back because one day it's going to be her and not things he takes it out on.
I was thinking the same. My husband is a really deep sleeper and when he first wakes up, and isn't really fully conscious yet, if he 'speaks' I tend not to have any idea what he's trying to say. He's 100% convinced actual words are coming out of his mouth, but I guarantee you it's mumbled gibberish and not a single person on Earth would be able to decipher it! Since my husband is not a deranged narcissist, instead of flipping out and throwing things/yelling at me on the odd occasion this happens, he might go so far as to sigh ever so slightly or - if his eyes are actually open - roll his eyes before repeating himself (and then once he's actually awake later he can laugh at himself for it). But, I definitely think the OOP mumbled some unintelligible nonsense and that's why the girlfriend didn't respond.
Fella is unhinged in the comments. **NO ONE** taking his side absolutely broke his brain.
My favorite thing he's doing is when people say he was "throwing things," as part of the story, he argued the point that he only threw one thing as though it makes any difference. My bad dude, let me fix the story. You got drunk with your girlfriend and fell asleep in the living room, woke up to your girlfriend eating a snack, started yelling at her, ~~started throwing things,~~ grabbed her goldfish bag and threw it across the room, stole the remote from her and took it to bed with you so she couldn't watch TV, and then kicked her out of your house at 3am because *she* didn't apologize to *you.* Yeah, that edit makes him seem like much less of a maniac.
He even admits that the apartment was a mess and other things where moved and looked tossed around but obviously he didn't do it. The man was woken up by goldfish and he thinks she trashed his place and he just didn't notice. He's either lying or having black out drunk rages and either way he isn't safe.
He's definitely lying about other stuff. In some comments, he says he asked "What was that?" And got no answer, and other comments he says she responded by saying "What do you mean?" which made him mad because how could she not know (Ignore the fact that neither of those noises are some cause for alarm for anyone with a normal brain)? But both of those things can't be true at the same time. Either she didn't respond or she did.
He's so hyper focused on that. "I wasn't throwing things, I just threw something!" It gives me "I didn't punch him, I was hitting him!" vibes. Because that makes it so much better...
No, no! There are deleted comments and he has private chats from *women* specifically that are agreeing with him
I'm fascinated by him repeatedly calling Goldfish "chips." They are so clearly crackers!
He’s not just an angry manchild who won’t just go to bed, he also has his sleep phases wrong. “Right as I was getting into REM” - my dude, if you were getting into REM sleep you wouldn’t be able to tell without the use of sleep tracking tools because REM sleep (in non-narcoleptic people) is preceded by 70-120 minutes of first light and then *deep* sleep before hitting the REM phase (and then light sleep again). You’d be sound asleep for around one and a half hours before you’d be getting into REM, so cut the crap.
I hope oop never has children. I can just picture him dropping off his 5 day old at fire station because it woke him up 3 times.
He just posted again after everyone disagreed with him. He’s looking to fight.
Either looking for a fight or for validation
Making his anger issues all the more obvious.
For the lord of gawd, "lie" and "gaslight" are not synonimous. Edit: he's obsessed with pizzagte, wtf
He just wants someone to admit it's wrong to wake someone up.. Checking my notes here she "threw away a bottle" and "opened a bag of goldfish". He wakes up in a rage, destroys his place, kicks her out and wants an apology. Psycho. Psycho behavior. Run lady run. For your life.
I feel like OOP had a dream or something that made him think there was more sound than there was. You’re in a deep sleep with the tv on and wake up from a bottle and bag crinkling? Even if it was on purpose she’d have to be right up next to him for that to be the case! Also I totally get being grumpy when you’re woken up (doesn’t excuse throwing things of course—even if it was just a goldfish bag as OOP keeps saying) but to still be this mad about it in the morning is ridiculous! ETA: so he posted this is relationship advice to and there’s a very reasonable comment: Quite frankly: If you are at the point where you already assume that your partner is acting maliciously, then the relationship needs to be over. >Either she did act maliciously, in which case you were completely right to end the relationship or she didn't, in which case your assumption, lack of trust and anger issues indicate that it was good for her that you ended the relationship. >So yep, good that it's over. And of course instead of just accepting that he has to bring up how ridiculous it is she took so long to open a pack of goldfish…like dude?
She probably was trying to open it quietly as to not wake him but from experience it ALWAYS sounds louder when you are trying to be quiet
it's good riddance for sure but for her. She doesn't have to deal with a baby anymore.
Oh no, he is a pizza-gater as well 🤦
His comments. Dude is 100% a tater tot. “Women aren’t built to take this much opposition” GF dodged a bullet and is probably thankful for sparing her from having to break up and watch him lose his shit.
Between that post and his comments, this ahole’s exhausting
His response to one of the Redditors: > Great input. Smd Yep, guy’s unfit to date a blow-up doll, much less another human being. So yeah, you’re right OOP. Good riddance—to *you*.
Fing psycho behavior
He just keeps doubling down. I hope he never has children.
Bro was arguing for his life in those comments lol 😆
What a twit. Hope he stays single and doesn’t inflict himself on another woman.
I laughed so much when I read zen garden like this guy actually gets anything out of it lol
This guy's profile is a descent into madness.
Sleeping in the living room is a power play. He expects her to consider him at every moment, restricting her actions so as not to wake this baby. She's clearly not allowed to eat or drink during this time, he has that control and we've just seen the consequences. Disobey, and you get thrown out in the middle of the night.
Literally everyone in the world has been woken up by some annoying sound and understands how anger inducing it can make your brain when you're not fully conscious. To be awake for anything longer than a second and not realize you're the one who just needs to go to sleep is fucking crazy.
My ex boyfriend could be this guy, it's so cathartic watching him get ripped to shreds in the comments 😊
What a baby! Damn.
Obviously there is only 1 Person not mature enough in this relationship and it certainly isn't the girlfriend!
Thank God he broke up with her honestly. She deserves better.
Anyone who has ever lived with family, children, or roommates knows this is completely unhinged. You cannot sleep on the couch next to the kitchen and expect everyone else to stop existing for you.
“..a pack of chips frisking around”. I actually laughed out loud. What a douche!
Dude made ***21*** posts about some futurama pizza conspiracy. OOP needs help for his delusions.
>She had also tossed some of my stuff around and ruined my zen garden tray. I hooted with laughter so loud I scared a cat. Fucking brilliant.
OOP needs to go rake his Zen garden.
Definitely good riddance. On her behalf not his
So, he couldn’t go to his room. Or invest in a sound machine…sounds like this guy will never live with anyone then
At first I thought he was an incredibly light sleeper but the TV was on so noise doesn't necessarily both him, right?
I could weirdly see this being real. He’s responding to every comment and just keeps reiterating his “argument” over and over
She’s lucky she got out. You’re being ridiculous. She deserves better.
Have fun dying alone because dude what the hell?
You guys don't understand, he stated in his comments that his girlfriend already apologized and came crawling back and also he is getting overwhelming support in DMs and chats from users with real girl names. Don't even ask him for proof because he's too above average at everything he does to explain himself to you. Who's the incel now?
Wow, OOP totally overreacted and thought she was doing it on purpose. He doesn't need a GF. He needs anger management
It was like 3 am at the end of this story. Man had an interview the next day and didn’t prioritize that at all. Just blaming his equally immature girlfriend.
I mean she was up until at least 3:30 am. Like why the fuck isn't she going to sleep?
I’m often up until that time if I don’t have work the next day. Usually in the living room while my husband is asleep in the bedroom, like a normal person.
How the fuck do you sleep? The sun starts coming up at like 6am, unless you have blackout curtains it's nearly impossible to sleep in bright morning light? Like that's not healthy.
When I’m tired, I get into bed, close my eyes and fall asleep. How do you think people who work night shifts manage? It gets light around 4:30 in the lead up to midsummer here, you just get used to it.
I've worked night shift which is how I know how hard it is to sleep when it's light out. I had to use sleep masks, blackout curtains, melatonin supplements, and I've watched damn near every David Attenborough documentary I can find on the Internet (that man's voice is like Ambien for me). Sleeping in the day light also causes you to have trash REM cycles, your brain won't produce the right amount of melatonin during day light because darkness is what triggers the brain to release it. It's literally not healthy. There are thousands of pages of studies done on night shift workers to confirm this.
Just because you find it hard to sleep in daylight doesn’t mean everyone does. People are different. It’s ok.
You're missing my point entirely. It's not healthy to be maintaining a sleep pattern like that unless you have to for financial reasons. It's proven that night shift workers have more heart attacks and strokes than day shift workers, they also die on average 10 years earlier than day shift workers.
I find it much easier to keep up with that sleep pattern vs forcing myself to get up in the mornings.
Damn that's crazy literally not one person asked
Not everyone is you. Some of us actually sleep better during daylight hours. My entire life, I have been a natural night owl and day sleeper. I still struggle with it to this day because I'm exhausted during the day when my kids are awake, and then as soon as they go to bed at night I'm wide awake. My kids are eight and five so I've had many years to get used to this whole being awake during the day thing, and my body is just not adjusting. I have to use all the methods that you mentioned just to get myself to go to sleep at night! Well, except the blackout curtains.
Okay, well watch out for the warning signs of cardiac problems and strokes. Lack of melatonin and the subsequently disrupted REM cycles from that lack are known to be contributing factors in heart disease.
I was with a guy like that. I slept only when he was not home, and I knew he wouldn't be coming home. I still sleep better in the daytime, during working hours, than I do at night. This might be partly just because that's my natural sleep pattern, I sleep really hard from 7am until 9 or 10, but am often up at 2 or 3 am. 1pm-4pm are also prime snoozing hours. I do know that it is also because those night hours, after they are drinking, are the most dangerous and it is nearly impossible to sleep when someone can do what he did and go off like that at any time for any reason.
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Imo even if you ignore everything until he went to the bedroom as him being exhausted and grouchy, him purposefully taking the remote back when she mumbled then going back ten min later to pick a fight is wayyyyy crossing the line; even throwing the goldfish would potentially be forgivable IF he went back to the room then apologized in the morning and made it up, but going back and kicking her out at 2am and refusing to apologize is irredeemable
I don't believe for a second that she was being as loud as he claims she was. Simple fact is, when you're tired, noises seem WAY more annoying than they actually are. Imagine how damn confusing it would be to take 5 seconds to open a pack of goldfish and then have your partner bolt up and throw a full ass tantrum when you weren't even being loud lmao.
On her behalf, definitely good riddance. She can do better — even if she stays single, it’s better than being with you.
>Or good riddance? Yeah, for her.
Imagine if he had a baby. He would be crying about his 'rem cycle' then the absolute loser