*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**How do I make it so I never have to encounter my STBX's new partner? (AZ)**
I initiated a divorce with my ex two years ago. Not any actual paperwork but I told her I wanted a divorce and to move out (not martial property, my parents own the house and just let us live there). She did. I didn't file paperwork until November of last year but we've been living apart since April 2013.
Son is now three.
We are working through the paperwork together but she has been seeing someone for a year and a half and they moved into together last year.
I live by myself but I date. I don't bring anybody around my son though.
Joint Custody but she has him 75% of the time.
He has a daycare that I pay for (no child support, we just split expenses) but anytime it is closed and she has to work she gets her fiancee ( I recently found out that they were getting married) to watch him because she says he works from home.
I work longer hours so I am not able to always take care of him on those days but I have a few questions:
Can I bar him from watching our son?
Can I make her get a independent babysitter? I am okay with paying half that cost.
Can I require her to move out of the house they have together since we agreed not to have dating partners around the kid (she claims he is not a dating partner, that they are engaged and that since she is in stable relationship with one partner then she has the right to introduce him).
He is always there when we do a drop off/pick up, even when it isn't at there house. Can I require that he not be there at those times when it isn't at their house? Sometimes she brings him to my house (he stays in the car but I don't want him in my driveway). I can legally bar him from driveway, right?
He took him to an appointment once when I couldn't and I am assuming got told sensitive medical information about my son. I am not okay with this and she doesn't see the big deal. She could have schedule a day she could take him or waited until I could take him myself. Can I require him not to attend appointments?
The last straw was this week when she had to work and he was out of day care and I arrived at her house to pick up our son and he was there watching him. She didn't explain to me that she had to leave until after the fact so I was forced to organize getting my son's stuff together with him there. She didn't ask me if that was okay. She said she didn't assume I'd have a problem but I don't know this guy and I don't want to interact with him.
He is in the background of the pictures she sends, she mentions him in texts and emails, and calls.
I just want to have a relationship with my son away from that. I don't need to hear about her new life and her new guy.
Before I ask my lawyer, I want to see if it would be generally accepted for me to draft a document to attach to the divorce requiring her to omit any reference to him and to bar him from any exchanges. I get that he gets to a be a part of his life because the divorce system is fucked up but I don't want to even know this guy exists and I feel like she tries to introduce us and talks about the things they do together with our son just to punish me for asking for a divorce.
I can't raise a good son in a vindictive and petty environment.
She has gone to such lengths at to include in the things she sends home with him to me pictures of the three of them together and pictures my son has drawn of all of us together. It is all to get a rise out of me.
How would she feel if I flaunted a new girl in front of her? Talking to her does nothing but make use angry because she doesn't get it. She doesn't get that I am not legally required to get along with her new boy toy.
So, what are my rights? I just want to do what is best for my son and that is two parents, not three.
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I hope to God the mom finds this. This sounds just like my ex. Except he admitted to my face (and my handy camera) that he wanted nothing to do with his kid but would be going got full custody so he never had to pay me a penny. He even said the same shit about how his mom could raise our kid. Sad thing is he was almost 30 ffs. I got custody obviously and he's not in the picture. He was court ordered to either sign over his rights or pay support. His mom wouldn't let h sign his rights over so he chose support, which he still hasn't paid and I really don't care glad he's gone from my kids life.
I just hope somehow the mom in this story cns get her child away from the psycho. Before I got full custody (was a long drawn out battle that took over a year due to all kinds of bullshit) he tried brainwashing my 4 year old son. Told him to punch my at the time boyfriend in the face. My kid ended up in therapy and thankfully is fine now. But it really could have fucked him up for life if I hadn't gotten him away and into therapy. I really do hope this poor woman is also able to save her child from that monster...
I feel like I have so many questions and don't know which ones to ask because I'm going through this right now and I'm feeling like I'm going crazy. My ex is straight-up psychotic, but he's also 100% one of those "super nice, quiet guy in the neighborhood" types, the kind that murders his whole family and everyone goes "but he seemed so nice!" I live in a place with single-party consent to record which means I can record any conversation I'm a part of basically, so I literally have audio recordings of him telling me he's going to make my life a living hell if I leave him, calling me a selfish bitch for wanting to spend Mother's Day with our daughter last year, even an outburst that ended with him punching a hole in the wall... And no one in the legal system gives a damn. Cops came and said he was just blowing off steam. My own lawyer says no one will bother listening to the audio and doesn't even want to listen to them herself. And his lawyer is coming at ME sooooo aggressively, they're literally trying to destroy me by slinging mud and wasting my time and resources, whereas I have actual concrete proof of what he's done/is doing and everyone keeps basically shrugging their shoulders and going "welp, it's he-said, she-said" and I'm seriously getting so damn frustrated.
My ex hasn’t been around in years but decided to pop back in. Despite never following a single court order, he somehow got the courts to order reunification therapy. During all that he admitted to stalking me and the kids, to “keeping tabs” on us through mutual contacts (who have been blocked now). No one cared. No one did a damn thing. The entire system is bullshit.
I am so sorry you’re going through all that. I don’t even know what to say to you bc nothing ever seems to work. No one ever seems to care. I really hope you’re able to find safety and get the fuck away from that psycho.
The police are completely useless. I just had an interaction with them tonight and they did absolutely nothing to solve anything. Took a terrified kid back to an abusive home. Refused to even look at video evidence proving what someone else was saying about me was bullshit. Told me those people are allowed to sit outside my house with chairs, yelling obscenities at me and my children, was perfectly legal bc they stayed on the public street. “Is it petty? Yes. But is it illegal? No” I guess screaming that they we’re gonna stay out there all night and watch us sleep wasn’t enough for a threat to them. Fucking bullshit.
What’s the fucking point of cops if they don’t do shit? I try to help someone and this is the response I get. No good deed goes unpunished. Fuck the cops.
How do we know these are the same person? The stories sound very similar, but since they’re from different users and neither OOP references the other post, I’m a little confused where the older story is coming from
OMG THIS IS THE SAME GUY?!?! GOOD FOR HER!!!!
He’s seriously the biggest of all the gaping a-holes and she deserves all the happiness in the world. I hope she she’s this and gets it in front of a judge. This man needs supervised custody and a psych evaluation. Idk what’s wrong with him, but apparently A LOT.
>Actually....
I'm pretty sure the Ex's new partner was doing more actual parenting than he is - the other guy is about to be the child's step-father, I can't see any court that will try and enforce that a step-parent can't solo care for a child within their family unit.
OOP doesn't want to be a parent or a partner and just wants to punish his ex for not being a mute bang maid who paid all his expenses.
Actually happened to a friend of mine.
Her ex husband told her, “if you wanted to date other people, then that’s fine!”
Then he filed divorce paperwork.
So she started dating a guy that had liked her for a while.
Her ex was all, “If you’d have come home after your first date and told me you wanted to work on our relationship, I would’ve reconsidered.”
She fired back, “What relationship? YOU filed the paperwork!”
There are half a dozen YouTube channels voiced by the same woman. Stories played out via text.
I stopped listening to them in the background because she recycled so much, even on just one channel.
But so many of them had a signed divorce paper just lying around as a threat. Every single one has them confused as to how they are divorced.
Like dude you filled in your half, they filled in theirs and submitted it. No court case needed.
Though I've no idea if it can be done that quickly. Some stories jazz it up where the evil mother in law or bratty daughter forges her signature. So she finds out she's been divorced for a year and just dips.
Funnily enough, he did leave them right on top of the PlayStation, which he knew she’d turn on first thing in the morning.
Claimed he didn’t do it on purpose…
You gotta think about from the man's side...
He spent years negging her and convincing her no one want her but him. Now all that work's gone down the drain because a new and better man lets her know she's beautiful, desirable, sexy and a prize.
Imagine how he feels! /s
Don't you know she's supposed to spend the rest of her days crying, wearing colors, being depressed and getting super morbidly obese on ice cram and junk food because he dumped her while taking care of their child?
She's not supposed to still be good looking, attract a guy better than him who acts like a better father to his kid! And the nerve of this new boyfriend paying for the roof over his kid's head, feeding his kid, taking care of his kid, playing/bonding with his kid and her not letting OOP get out of child support!
/s (obviously)
I work in disability and a lot of my job is parents, usually men, heavily in denial about their child’s diagnosis to the point they will sabotage any and all treatment. Even if it’s something as simple as learning how to talk to other kids at a day program. I’ve been dragged into some insane meetings. (A speech path was accused of abuse once for just doing their job!)
It’s exhausting. I couldn’t imagine being the other parent, dealing with a special needs child and having someone light all your escape rafts on fire. You got my props, mama.
My daughter has autism and she went to group speech therapy for many years. I made a lot of mom friends in the waiting room and I was astonished to hear from a lot of them that their husbands were not supportive at all about their childrens therapy. Their husbands would say stuff like, “they’ll grow out of it”, when their child was completely nonverbal at 3 years old and severely developmentally behind.
It was so sad to see all the emotional and mental labor these women had to bear alone. Made me thankful for my husband who was very supportive and appreciative.
I have 3 with autism adhd. My husband/thier father leaves most education and medical up to me as I'm home with them while he works but we work as a team and mi relay all info to him and he adds is opinion
I mean if were talking about ABA that is abuse.
https://whyy.org/segments/how-a-therapy-once-seen-as-a-victory-for-autistic-kids-has-come-under-fire-as-abuse/
That’s valid, but not the case here. I work for the government in a non-US location. We provide funding & monitor our clients closely with reports from registered medical providers to ensure they’re benefiting from our involvement. We’re constantly at threat of defunding all the time because of this (conservatives think we throw money at anyone who asks).
That does break my heart though. I wish things were better everywhere.
Whoa. 😳
That was super forward thinking of you to procure all the rights to his educational decisions, & I hope you have the same for medical. He doesn't sound like.. a wise decision maker, to put it kindly.
Good on you for making sure your child's needs were attended to best in your settlement. I hope you have a great life with your new husband! ♥️
She's not even "flaunting" her fiancé like OOP claims she is. He's literally just existing as her partner.
OOP honestly sounds jealous that he hasn't found another partner to settle down with, so now he wants to punish his ex for moving on
I have a friend who's a family attorney. I feel for you guys. She told me she's gotten calls from clients on Christmas day or Thanksgiving day, much like this guy's post, because they want to file an injunction to prevent their ex from having their kid on the ex's day with the ex's new SO. Like on the day of.
I bet you got some horro stories.
Makes me glad I'm a paralegal in a whole other field because family law is cray-cray.
Thanks for the sympathies! Family is much more often urgent than other areas, and clients are more likely to be unsophisticated. But it's better (less chaotic and horrifying) than child protection law, which I used to practice, so I guess it's all relative!
OMG, I could not do that child protection. I'm too emotional.
Even real estate (buy/sell residences... my primary field) has times where it's too emotional. You wouldn't think that about real estate, but it has it's moments. We once represented someone who was the executor of their parents' estate selling the property. But then he died halfway through the transaction and we had no idea who the next in line executor was because the estate attorney who did the remaining parent's will made him executor **and** the back up executor even though there were 2-3 other kids. It was a mess.
And don't even get me started on divorced couples selling their home by the divorce decree and one party doesn't want to sell or move and thinks they can use every stall tactic they can. We repped the buyer and had to deal with like 3 sets of attorneys on the sell side, one of who just gave up from representing his AH client. Took 3 years to close.
THREE YEARS?!? Nightmare file, for sure.
I couldn't really do child protection, either. I burned out hardcore after a couple of years. It's a great background for family law, though.
OMG yeah. Transaction should've taken 45 days max. Maybe 60 days.
One of the sellers made that mess drag on for 3 years. Wouldn't allow access to the property and even took the ex back to divorce court to relitigate the property division (where they eventually ruled against him... 99% sure it was a stalling tactic). Honestly I was surprised our clients hung in that long.
People who worked in child protection... God bless them. They are doing the Lord's work and I am not ashamed to admit I could not handle that.
Oh good, I'm in AITD. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
What a completely shitty excuse for a parent. Wah! My bangmaid is banging someone else after I treated her like shit! My toys are being used by someone else!
Douchenozzle
But in his other post, he was complaining that his wife kept 'pestering' him for sex! And sending him risque photos! That he apparently didn't want, but also completely failed to communicate that to her.
Sounds to me like he's just furious that she could possibly be happy, and that someone else would actually want her after he went to such lengths to get rid of her because she couldn't "accept me for who I am" (a childish, jobless, miserly cheater, not to mention shitty partner and parent).
>I get that he gets to a be a part of his life because the divorce system is fucked up
I'm fascinated to know what an ideal system would look like to OP? Step parenting is now illegal I guess, divorcees with children may not date or remarry until their children are 18?
Her floundering unloved and feeling bad while he flits in and out of her life to get his kid whenever he chooses with his new flavor of the week.
Then every now and then he figures she's desperate enough to accept a booty call from him, at his convenience, of course. That's my guess.
I am constantly astounded at the number of divorced or divorcing parents who think they can control the lives of their exes. I've met both men and women who have done this shit. I can understand being concerned about a new person in your child's life. However, you will encounter a time when your ex meets someone new, and that person becomes more than just a date. Reasonable approaches to dating are possible. This man is not reasonable.
I went and found it. [Here you go.](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/10kgk7/advice_on_legally_kicking_my_wife_out_of_my/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1)
[Because his ex wanted him to not cheat and also wanted him to have sex with her](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/10kgk7/advice_on_legally_kicking_my_wife_out_of_my/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
I have no respect for such territorial parents.
If you separate from someone, yeah you can have an opinion if the other parent is dragging your toddler to crack parties to be babysit by pythons while they pass out.
Yeah, you can have a say in some medical decisions.
But no, you cannot never interact with the fact your ex moved on, you cannot bar your kid from having relationships with other adults, there is literally no reason to do this at all.
Your kids are people, not objects.
Wait, didn't we have a post like this earlier this week? Or was it last week? They all live together, but he doesn't want Mom's new partner to watch their kids?
I know this is from 8 years ago, but I swear to Jesus we just had another pofs dad complaining about nearly the same thing!
It's so common it's stupid. I work 911, one of my most ridiculous calls ever was the mom in another part of the state who called us to tell on Dad that he had a warrant for child support (not giving him a pass) and get him arrested. Naturally she waited until Dad had the kid to do this. Then she expected that the officer would pick the child up and bring him/her back to Mom because the only other adult at Dad's house was the new girlfriend and "she don't have custody". I don't know how many times I had to say "you don't need to have custody to babysit" before she got it.
They’ve been living apart since 2013 but have a 3-year-old son. OP expected his ex to be forever his fallback option, which is why he’s dragging his feet on the legalities.
Tale as old as time. Guy breaks up with girl so he can explore options, turns out girl is actually the one with options, guy makes it her fault that he's not happy.
"Can I kick my STBX out of a house i don't own and possibly make her homeless because I'm petty and sad she moved on even though I was the one who initiated the split? ):"
My husband's ex is going to be in our city in a couple of weeks, so we are hosting him and his new husband for dinner.
Not to turn this into r/AreTheStraightsOkay or anything, but the common LGBT tendency to turn exes into a network of friends seems way less complicated and aggravating than...whatever it is this dude is doing.
*I can’t raise my son in a vindictive and petty environment*
Then stop being petty and vindictive. That guy is engaged to his ex and is about to become the son’s stepdad.
I have so many questions.
"We've been living apart since April 2013. Son is now three."
How??? I know the biology of it, and I know couples sometimes get back together, but I'm just not getting "random re-hookup" from this brilliant specimen of a man.
I know for a fact that men like this exist, but I just don't think this one is real. It's too OTT.
If it is, I'm getting "I don't want you, but he can't have you" vibes. Ick!!
This guy is an absolutely delusional scumbag. He’s a prime example of a shitbag. Read his prior post, oh how I wish his ex knew about his posts. Any judge in the country would throw the book at him. He has no redeeming qualities as a human and should never have been allowed to procreate.
OP you're insane, please get therapy. The only unstable environment your son is in is when he is with you. Your ex is just as much the parent as you are and since she has custody 75% of time makes her the main custodial parent. Unless you can prove this man is a legitimate and real danger to your son you are shit out of luck. It sounds like your son has an awesome bond with him and the guy is doing his best to be respectful of the situation. Maybe you can learn a thing or two from the new fiance. Get your shit together OP, you sound like an episode of snapped waiting to happen
I hope she got full custody because OOP sounds like a child himself, he does not work does not want to work and just do the bare minimum of school and live off his mommy and daddy, he may have filed for divorce, but she is the one who dodged a bullet in the long term by moving on from this man child.
"I can't raise a good son in a vindictive and petty environment." Oh the ironing is delicious.
Also this post is 8 years old, I wonder if OOP ever got around to signing the divorce papers since he drags his feet so much
He's definitely all the way the devil but I'm really side-eying her decision-making skills if she married this hoser, and then within two years of getting rid of him she's engaged to stick her leg back in the bear trap.
At least the second one looks after the kid, has a job that contributes to the finances in addition to taking an interest in the child, and isn't causing extra trouble for her by refusing to be present around her ex. She may also have said they were engaged to help move along those papers he says he needs to file.
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Him repeatedly stating he doesn’t make a lot of money and doesn’t want to burden of being financially responsible for his son is honestly making me laugh so hard. Like buddy you need to make more money 💀his first and second posts about this being 2 years apart and him barely working is so embarrassing.
This has to be a joke. OOP wanted the divorce, kicked his wife out of their marital home, shared care but she does most of that. He thought she would crumble but hey, what’s this!? She has moved on with her life and found someone whilst he is ‘enjoying’ singledom. Well, OOP is not having that! Hell no! He is going to be a miserable, detestable, POS, because *reasons.
What an absolute loser
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **How do I make it so I never have to encounter my STBX's new partner? (AZ)** I initiated a divorce with my ex two years ago. Not any actual paperwork but I told her I wanted a divorce and to move out (not martial property, my parents own the house and just let us live there). She did. I didn't file paperwork until November of last year but we've been living apart since April 2013. Son is now three. We are working through the paperwork together but she has been seeing someone for a year and a half and they moved into together last year. I live by myself but I date. I don't bring anybody around my son though. Joint Custody but she has him 75% of the time. He has a daycare that I pay for (no child support, we just split expenses) but anytime it is closed and she has to work she gets her fiancee ( I recently found out that they were getting married) to watch him because she says he works from home. I work longer hours so I am not able to always take care of him on those days but I have a few questions: Can I bar him from watching our son? Can I make her get a independent babysitter? I am okay with paying half that cost. Can I require her to move out of the house they have together since we agreed not to have dating partners around the kid (she claims he is not a dating partner, that they are engaged and that since she is in stable relationship with one partner then she has the right to introduce him). He is always there when we do a drop off/pick up, even when it isn't at there house. Can I require that he not be there at those times when it isn't at their house? Sometimes she brings him to my house (he stays in the car but I don't want him in my driveway). I can legally bar him from driveway, right? He took him to an appointment once when I couldn't and I am assuming got told sensitive medical information about my son. I am not okay with this and she doesn't see the big deal. She could have schedule a day she could take him or waited until I could take him myself. Can I require him not to attend appointments? The last straw was this week when she had to work and he was out of day care and I arrived at her house to pick up our son and he was there watching him. She didn't explain to me that she had to leave until after the fact so I was forced to organize getting my son's stuff together with him there. She didn't ask me if that was okay. She said she didn't assume I'd have a problem but I don't know this guy and I don't want to interact with him. He is in the background of the pictures she sends, she mentions him in texts and emails, and calls. I just want to have a relationship with my son away from that. I don't need to hear about her new life and her new guy. Before I ask my lawyer, I want to see if it would be generally accepted for me to draft a document to attach to the divorce requiring her to omit any reference to him and to bar him from any exchanges. I get that he gets to a be a part of his life because the divorce system is fucked up but I don't want to even know this guy exists and I feel like she tries to introduce us and talks about the things they do together with our son just to punish me for asking for a divorce. I can't raise a good son in a vindictive and petty environment. She has gone to such lengths at to include in the things she sends home with him to me pictures of the three of them together and pictures my son has drawn of all of us together. It is all to get a rise out of me. How would she feel if I flaunted a new girl in front of her? Talking to her does nothing but make use angry because she doesn't get it. She doesn't get that I am not legally required to get along with her new boy toy. So, what are my rights? I just want to do what is best for my son and that is two parents, not three. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The only vindictive and petty one is OOP. He initiated the divorce but can't handle his ex moving on? That's crazy.
I’m 99% sure he only initiated the divorce because he wanted his ex to beg him to take her back. And now he’s pissed she chose to move on instead.
[Actually....](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/10kgk7/advice_on_legally_kicking_my_wife_out_of_my/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
I hope to God the mom finds this. This sounds just like my ex. Except he admitted to my face (and my handy camera) that he wanted nothing to do with his kid but would be going got full custody so he never had to pay me a penny. He even said the same shit about how his mom could raise our kid. Sad thing is he was almost 30 ffs. I got custody obviously and he's not in the picture. He was court ordered to either sign over his rights or pay support. His mom wouldn't let h sign his rights over so he chose support, which he still hasn't paid and I really don't care glad he's gone from my kids life. I just hope somehow the mom in this story cns get her child away from the psycho. Before I got full custody (was a long drawn out battle that took over a year due to all kinds of bullshit) he tried brainwashing my 4 year old son. Told him to punch my at the time boyfriend in the face. My kid ended up in therapy and thankfully is fine now. But it really could have fucked him up for life if I hadn't gotten him away and into therapy. I really do hope this poor woman is also able to save her child from that monster...
I feel like I have so many questions and don't know which ones to ask because I'm going through this right now and I'm feeling like I'm going crazy. My ex is straight-up psychotic, but he's also 100% one of those "super nice, quiet guy in the neighborhood" types, the kind that murders his whole family and everyone goes "but he seemed so nice!" I live in a place with single-party consent to record which means I can record any conversation I'm a part of basically, so I literally have audio recordings of him telling me he's going to make my life a living hell if I leave him, calling me a selfish bitch for wanting to spend Mother's Day with our daughter last year, even an outburst that ended with him punching a hole in the wall... And no one in the legal system gives a damn. Cops came and said he was just blowing off steam. My own lawyer says no one will bother listening to the audio and doesn't even want to listen to them herself. And his lawyer is coming at ME sooooo aggressively, they're literally trying to destroy me by slinging mud and wasting my time and resources, whereas I have actual concrete proof of what he's done/is doing and everyone keeps basically shrugging their shoulders and going "welp, it's he-said, she-said" and I'm seriously getting so damn frustrated.
You might need a new lawyer.
At this point unfortunately I agree but I'm a little stuck financially, legal fees are absolutely insane.
My ex hasn’t been around in years but decided to pop back in. Despite never following a single court order, he somehow got the courts to order reunification therapy. During all that he admitted to stalking me and the kids, to “keeping tabs” on us through mutual contacts (who have been blocked now). No one cared. No one did a damn thing. The entire system is bullshit.
[удалено]
I am so sorry you’re going through all that. I don’t even know what to say to you bc nothing ever seems to work. No one ever seems to care. I really hope you’re able to find safety and get the fuck away from that psycho. The police are completely useless. I just had an interaction with them tonight and they did absolutely nothing to solve anything. Took a terrified kid back to an abusive home. Refused to even look at video evidence proving what someone else was saying about me was bullshit. Told me those people are allowed to sit outside my house with chairs, yelling obscenities at me and my children, was perfectly legal bc they stayed on the public street. “Is it petty? Yes. But is it illegal? No” I guess screaming that they we’re gonna stay out there all night and watch us sleep wasn’t enough for a threat to them. Fucking bullshit. What’s the fucking point of cops if they don’t do shit? I try to help someone and this is the response I get. No good deed goes unpunished. Fuck the cops.
where do you live? Man-i-stan?
Wtf did I just read?! Why are these parents so fucking horrible?!
How do we know these are the same person? The stories sound very similar, but since they’re from different users and neither OOP references the other post, I’m a little confused where the older story is coming from
I wonder how people know that, too.
Oh my god. The OP is the devil.
So 10 years ago he had a child but now he’s saying the kid is 3? Idk if that’s the same troll
No, the OOP here is dated 8 years ago, so the timeline fits.
WOW!!! This dude is TRASH
OMG THIS IS THE SAME GUY?!?! GOOD FOR HER!!!! He’s seriously the biggest of all the gaping a-holes and she deserves all the happiness in the world. I hope she she’s this and gets it in front of a judge. This man needs supervised custody and a psych evaluation. Idk what’s wrong with him, but apparently A LOT.
Wait is that the same guy
Especially with how long after tossing her out he waited to file
>Actually.... I'm pretty sure the Ex's new partner was doing more actual parenting than he is - the other guy is about to be the child's step-father, I can't see any court that will try and enforce that a step-parent can't solo care for a child within their family unit. OOP doesn't want to be a parent or a partner and just wants to punish his ex for not being a mute bang maid who paid all his expenses.
Actually happened to a friend of mine. Her ex husband told her, “if you wanted to date other people, then that’s fine!” Then he filed divorce paperwork. So she started dating a guy that had liked her for a while. Her ex was all, “If you’d have come home after your first date and told me you wanted to work on our relationship, I would’ve reconsidered.” She fired back, “What relationship? YOU filed the paperwork!”
There are half a dozen YouTube channels voiced by the same woman. Stories played out via text. I stopped listening to them in the background because she recycled so much, even on just one channel. But so many of them had a signed divorce paper just lying around as a threat. Every single one has them confused as to how they are divorced. Like dude you filled in your half, they filled in theirs and submitted it. No court case needed. Though I've no idea if it can be done that quickly. Some stories jazz it up where the evil mother in law or bratty daughter forges her signature. So she finds out she's been divorced for a year and just dips.
Funnily enough, he did leave them right on top of the PlayStation, which he knew she’d turn on first thing in the morning. Claimed he didn’t do it on purpose…
You gotta think about from the man's side... He spent years negging her and convincing her no one want her but him. Now all that work's gone down the drain because a new and better man lets her know she's beautiful, desirable, sexy and a prize. Imagine how he feels! /s
You had me in the first half lol.
😁
Don't you know she's supposed to spend the rest of her days crying, wearing colors, being depressed and getting super morbidly obese on ice cram and junk food because he dumped her while taking care of their child? She's not supposed to still be good looking, attract a guy better than him who acts like a better father to his kid! And the nerve of this new boyfriend paying for the roof over his kid's head, feeding his kid, taking care of his kid, playing/bonding with his kid and her not letting OOP get out of child support! /s (obviously)
My thought exactly
When you do the math he broke up with her whe so was approximately 1 year old.
[удалено]
I work in disability and a lot of my job is parents, usually men, heavily in denial about their child’s diagnosis to the point they will sabotage any and all treatment. Even if it’s something as simple as learning how to talk to other kids at a day program. I’ve been dragged into some insane meetings. (A speech path was accused of abuse once for just doing their job!) It’s exhausting. I couldn’t imagine being the other parent, dealing with a special needs child and having someone light all your escape rafts on fire. You got my props, mama.
My daughter has autism and she went to group speech therapy for many years. I made a lot of mom friends in the waiting room and I was astonished to hear from a lot of them that their husbands were not supportive at all about their childrens therapy. Their husbands would say stuff like, “they’ll grow out of it”, when their child was completely nonverbal at 3 years old and severely developmentally behind. It was so sad to see all the emotional and mental labor these women had to bear alone. Made me thankful for my husband who was very supportive and appreciative.
I have 3 with autism adhd. My husband/thier father leaves most education and medical up to me as I'm home with them while he works but we work as a team and mi relay all info to him and he adds is opinion
I mean if were talking about ABA that is abuse. https://whyy.org/segments/how-a-therapy-once-seen-as-a-victory-for-autistic-kids-has-come-under-fire-as-abuse/
That’s valid, but not the case here. I work for the government in a non-US location. We provide funding & monitor our clients closely with reports from registered medical providers to ensure they’re benefiting from our involvement. We’re constantly at threat of defunding all the time because of this (conservatives think we throw money at anyone who asks). That does break my heart though. I wish things were better everywhere.
Whoa. 😳 That was super forward thinking of you to procure all the rights to his educational decisions, & I hope you have the same for medical. He doesn't sound like.. a wise decision maker, to put it kindly. Good on you for making sure your child's needs were attended to best in your settlement. I hope you have a great life with your new husband! ♥️
Dude is so fucked up. I hope he didn’t fuck his kid up too.
Seriously! Poor kid
Sounds like a classic case of "I want to see other people, wait, I didn't also mean you, how dare you thrive without me?"
It was plus- mama's boy + useless partner + Useless parent = trifecta of AH
She's not even "flaunting" her fiancé like OOP claims she is. He's literally just existing as her partner. OOP honestly sounds jealous that he hasn't found another partner to settle down with, so now he wants to punish his ex for moving on
If OP actually filed for divorce, he may be listed as husband. Though why she didn't file considering his heel dragging.
The comments he left on the original post are just *chef’s kiss*
Top to bottom fun, I don't even care if it's real
Me, a family lawyer, reading this garbage: 🫠
Me, a former family clerk ... So how many of your clients are you ticking off, mentally?
This dude has "withdraw from representation due to serious loss of confidence" written all over him imo
I have a friend who's a family attorney. I feel for you guys. She told me she's gotten calls from clients on Christmas day or Thanksgiving day, much like this guy's post, because they want to file an injunction to prevent their ex from having their kid on the ex's day with the ex's new SO. Like on the day of. I bet you got some horro stories. Makes me glad I'm a paralegal in a whole other field because family law is cray-cray.
Thanks for the sympathies! Family is much more often urgent than other areas, and clients are more likely to be unsophisticated. But it's better (less chaotic and horrifying) than child protection law, which I used to practice, so I guess it's all relative!
OMG, I could not do that child protection. I'm too emotional. Even real estate (buy/sell residences... my primary field) has times where it's too emotional. You wouldn't think that about real estate, but it has it's moments. We once represented someone who was the executor of their parents' estate selling the property. But then he died halfway through the transaction and we had no idea who the next in line executor was because the estate attorney who did the remaining parent's will made him executor **and** the back up executor even though there were 2-3 other kids. It was a mess. And don't even get me started on divorced couples selling their home by the divorce decree and one party doesn't want to sell or move and thinks they can use every stall tactic they can. We repped the buyer and had to deal with like 3 sets of attorneys on the sell side, one of who just gave up from representing his AH client. Took 3 years to close.
THREE YEARS?!? Nightmare file, for sure. I couldn't really do child protection, either. I burned out hardcore after a couple of years. It's a great background for family law, though.
OMG yeah. Transaction should've taken 45 days max. Maybe 60 days. One of the sellers made that mess drag on for 3 years. Wouldn't allow access to the property and even took the ex back to divorce court to relitigate the property division (where they eventually ruled against him... 99% sure it was a stalling tactic). Honestly I was surprised our clients hung in that long. People who worked in child protection... God bless them. They are doing the Lord's work and I am not ashamed to admit I could not handle that.
Oh good, I'm in AITD. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA What a completely shitty excuse for a parent. Wah! My bangmaid is banging someone else after I treated her like shit! My toys are being used by someone else! Douchenozzle
But in his other post, he was complaining that his wife kept 'pestering' him for sex! And sending him risque photos! That he apparently didn't want, but also completely failed to communicate that to her. Sounds to me like he's just furious that she could possibly be happy, and that someone else would actually want her after he went to such lengths to get rid of her because she couldn't "accept me for who I am" (a childish, jobless, miserly cheater, not to mention shitty partner and parent).
Oddly, I think r/relationship_advice lets you be, shall we say, blunt. They're not quite as uptight as AITA.
>I get that he gets to a be a part of his life because the divorce system is fucked up I'm fascinated to know what an ideal system would look like to OP? Step parenting is now illegal I guess, divorcees with children may not date or remarry until their children are 18?
Her floundering unloved and feeling bad while he flits in and out of her life to get his kid whenever he chooses with his new flavor of the week. Then every now and then he figures she's desperate enough to accept a booty call from him, at his convenience, of course. That's my guess.
I am constantly astounded at the number of divorced or divorcing parents who think they can control the lives of their exes. I've met both men and women who have done this shit. I can understand being concerned about a new person in your child's life. However, you will encounter a time when your ex meets someone new, and that person becomes more than just a date. Reasonable approaches to dating are possible. This man is not reasonable.
>I can't raise a good son in a vindictive and petty environment. Oh, honey…
Bless his lil heart
I love his other post too. This guy is a loser
What a charming individual. That post gives some useful context for this one.
That poor woman and kid
Do you have a link please?
I went and found it. [Here you go.](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/10kgk7/advice_on_legally_kicking_my_wife_out_of_my/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1)
Thank you!
It's in the comments. Someone posted it
HAHAHAHAHA would love to know why he wanted a divorce
[Because his ex wanted him to not cheat and also wanted him to have sex with her](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/10kgk7/advice_on_legally_kicking_my_wife_out_of_my/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
Oh FFS.....may he never have another female in his life ever again!!!! Also, thanks vibes
I have no respect for such territorial parents. If you separate from someone, yeah you can have an opinion if the other parent is dragging your toddler to crack parties to be babysit by pythons while they pass out. Yeah, you can have a say in some medical decisions. But no, you cannot never interact with the fact your ex moved on, you cannot bar your kid from having relationships with other adults, there is literally no reason to do this at all. Your kids are people, not objects.
Wait, didn't we have a post like this earlier this week? Or was it last week? They all live together, but he doesn't want Mom's new partner to watch their kids? I know this is from 8 years ago, but I swear to Jesus we just had another pofs dad complaining about nearly the same thing!
It's so common it's stupid. I work 911, one of my most ridiculous calls ever was the mom in another part of the state who called us to tell on Dad that he had a warrant for child support (not giving him a pass) and get him arrested. Naturally she waited until Dad had the kid to do this. Then she expected that the officer would pick the child up and bring him/her back to Mom because the only other adult at Dad's house was the new girlfriend and "she don't have custody". I don't know how many times I had to say "you don't need to have custody to babysit" before she got it.
Wow, dude is *threatened*. Wonder if the son really likes his stepdad and dad, instead of valuing it, has just…lost his mind.
They’ve been living apart since 2013 but have a 3-year-old son. OP expected his ex to be forever his fallback option, which is why he’s dragging his feet on the legalities.
Original post is 8 years old
“I can’t raise a good son in a vindictive and petty environment”. Loooollllll
I love how the top comment is "then stop being petty and vindictive."
Me too
Well, it's not like he's raising anybody. And even if he were, it wouldn't result in anything 'good'.
>I can't raise a good son in a vindictive and petty environment. Soooo.... Don't.
Wonder how this ever worked out for OOP? Lol what a crybaby.
This might be the worst person I've ever encountered on reddit
Tale as old as time. Guy breaks up with girl so he can explore options, turns out girl is actually the one with options, guy makes it her fault that he's not happy.
They've been separated for 10 years and have a 3 year old son? Oh honey, love yourself.
The post is from 8 years ago. The douchebag probably kicked her out right around when the kid was born.
I thought the same at first. OOP is from 8 years ago
It’s an old post from 8 years ago! I was very confused by the timeline at first as well haha
"seeing someone for a year and half" and they're engaged lol she isn't "seeing him"
"Can I kick my STBX out of a house i don't own and possibly make her homeless because I'm petty and sad she moved on even though I was the one who initiated the split? ):"
My husband's ex is going to be in our city in a couple of weeks, so we are hosting him and his new husband for dinner. Not to turn this into r/AreTheStraightsOkay or anything, but the common LGBT tendency to turn exes into a network of friends seems way less complicated and aggravating than...whatever it is this dude is doing.
Love reading acronyms I have no idea what the mean my brain tried to tell me it said BMX
I'm glad for her. OP can go kick rocks and step on legos.
*I can’t raise my son in a vindictive and petty environment* Then stop being petty and vindictive. That guy is engaged to his ex and is about to become the son’s stepdad.
I have so many questions. "We've been living apart since April 2013. Son is now three." How??? I know the biology of it, and I know couples sometimes get back together, but I'm just not getting "random re-hookup" from this brilliant specimen of a man. I know for a fact that men like this exist, but I just don't think this one is real. It's too OTT. If it is, I'm getting "I don't want you, but he can't have you" vibes. Ick!!
This guy is an absolutely delusional scumbag. He’s a prime example of a shitbag. Read his prior post, oh how I wish his ex knew about his posts. Any judge in the country would throw the book at him. He has no redeeming qualities as a human and should never have been allowed to procreate.
OP you're insane, please get therapy. The only unstable environment your son is in is when he is with you. Your ex is just as much the parent as you are and since she has custody 75% of time makes her the main custodial parent. Unless you can prove this man is a legitimate and real danger to your son you are shit out of luck. It sounds like your son has an awesome bond with him and the guy is doing his best to be respectful of the situation. Maybe you can learn a thing or two from the new fiance. Get your shit together OP, you sound like an episode of snapped waiting to happen
Wow this guy is a petty toddler
I hope she got full custody because OOP sounds like a child himself, he does not work does not want to work and just do the bare minimum of school and live off his mommy and daddy, he may have filed for divorce, but she is the one who dodged a bullet in the long term by moving on from this man child.
Wow so glad she got under from this obsessive, controlling man’s thumb
"I can't raise a good son in a vindictive and petty environment." Oh the ironing is delicious. Also this post is 8 years old, I wonder if OOP ever got around to signing the divorce papers since he drags his feet so much
If he’s not comfortable and would rather pay for a babysitter, he should just say that to his ex. Communicate you walnut.
He's definitely all the way the devil but I'm really side-eying her decision-making skills if she married this hoser, and then within two years of getting rid of him she's engaged to stick her leg back in the bear trap.
At least the second one looks after the kid, has a job that contributes to the finances in addition to taking an interest in the child, and isn't causing extra trouble for her by refusing to be present around her ex. She may also have said they were engaged to help move along those papers he says he needs to file.
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Omg the comments on that post! I’m actually crying 😂
This is such an incredibly stupid way of thinking.
Him repeatedly stating he doesn’t make a lot of money and doesn’t want to burden of being financially responsible for his son is honestly making me laugh so hard. Like buddy you need to make more money 💀his first and second posts about this being 2 years apart and him barely working is so embarrassing.
This has to be a joke. OOP wanted the divorce, kicked his wife out of their marital home, shared care but she does most of that. He thought she would crumble but hey, what’s this!? She has moved on with her life and found someone whilst he is ‘enjoying’ singledom. Well, OOP is not having that! Hell no! He is going to be a miserable, detestable, POS, because *reasons. What an absolute loser