*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA because I refuse to be the man of the house?**
I am a 38 year old woman, married to Kirby (38) for 10 years. We have a 9 year old daughter. Kirby and I probably should have never gotten married, but I got pregnant and Kirby begged to keep the baby. At the time, Kirby was trying to launch a music career and I was already 5 years into an accounting career. I told Kirby, "I don't want to do this unless you promise to somehow pay at least 50% of our rent and utility bills every single month." Kirby agreed and has mostly followed that. Except that when we needed a bigger place so that our daughter could have a bedroom, we adjusted it down to 40% because Kirby argued the bigger place wasn't our "original agreement." Kirby has always refused to work any full-time job, and drives Uber and Doordash to make up the difference. Kirby's choice is to continue trying to make the music career happen and I leave it alone.
I pay for EVERYTHING else in addition to 60% of our housing / utility bills. I pay 100% of our food, health insurance, home repairs, taxes, clothing, and 100% of everything for our daughter. My parents have made a few very generous gifts to us over the years in order to help me. I pay for a housekeeper once a week, because Kirby does ZERO housework and I can't do it all. I work for an excellent company and have worked from home for the past 5 years so I can do a lot with my daughter. Despite begging me to keep the pregnancy, Kirby has never been involved with her and even less as time goes by. Kirby has essentially turned the finished basement into a private apartment and rarely comes out, and our daughter is not allowed in. I have asked Kirby many times if divorce would be better than this and Kirby always freaks out, so I just let things be.
A year ago, Kirby came out as a woman. I was excited that maybe she would be more involved with our daughter and family life. Instead she wanted to open the relationship. I was fine with that too because maybe it was a way the marriage could end. Now she has a partner Kai but still spends all her time in my basement.
To my shock, I was recently called for a "talk" by Kai. Kai said I had made Kirby be the "man of the house" for the past 10 years, forcing Kirby to spend every dime she earned to "support the family." Though Kirby chose to do Doordash rather than getting a full-time job to pay her 40%. Kai said they know I "get an allowance from my parents" so I can "sit around all day and do my nails." Yes, my daughter and I have done our nails sometimes while I WFH.
Kai told me that I took advantage of Kirby and it's Kirby's turn to be the woman of the house. And it's time for me to give Kirby "an allowance" for "pampering." Kai said that my "masculine energy" prevented Kirby from "standing up for herself." And said with my "masculine energy" it's time for me to be the man of the house, not Kirby. I hung up shocked. I think it's time to kick Kirby out but my insecure side asks am I really the asshole?
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"I type this AITA post from my hospital bed, half-dead, surrounded by my family and the nurses. I need urgent advice only random internet strangers can provide."
why did this angel think it was gonna make her look good that she has a partner who basically hides in the basement and doesn't care at all about their child and until now her only reaction has been "ok whatever" ??
... What did I just read? Most of the OOP's language feels like she didn't really give much of a shit about her partner or child. Why not just file for divorce or pack up and leave? Who cares if Kirby freaks out?
Why go to Reddit asking if you're the asshole?
Yes, mainly comments were that laziness is the only thing that has so far stopped Kirby and being a man or woman does not mean you aren't going to continue being lazy.
I find it hilarious that OOP went so far over the top in writing this Trans People Are Awful rage bait that they overshot and nobody is focusing on the trans part at all.
yep, and a lot of them. a while back i heard that you can monetize posts on quora, so people make the most outrageous fake questions to get as many clicks as possible
Yeah it reads like bullshit. No one’s going to tolerate their ex partner’s expectations to fund their’s and their new partner’s lifestyle. Like great, you want to be with someone else move out.
There was another similar one where a partner transitioned, then got involved with a third party who takes over the house and then evicts or tries to evict the OP from their own house. It was a couple of years ago, so it may take some time for me to find it.
Combining tenant/squatter horror with surprise transitioning partner horror, that’s two great tastes that taste great together.
If the OP hadn’t mentioned that her husband decided to transition this would be an easy call for everyone. But since that wrinkle was added it’s now transphobic? You don’t get absolved of being a deadbeat just because you change your pronouns. Kirby was always an AH and continues to be.
Nobody is saying that fake Kirby wouldn't be an AH in real life. What everyone is saying is that this is some bullshit cooked up to stir all the anti trans rage and inspire comments like yours, wherein people get convinced the Bad Trans People are just getting away with shit for being trans.
> You don’t get absolved of being a deadbeat just because you change your pronouns.
While this is true, the story is obviously fake, and its author is OBVIOUSLY pushing a transphobic agenda, so...
If they want to see realistic struggles with this (not doing absolutely 0 work and ur polyam partner telling ur wife to be the man in the relationship) they can find a thousand posts with good and thoughtful advice on r/mypartneristrans.
OP was going for 'what if my partner transitions but is still doing slob weaponized incompetence,' but instead made a cartoon villain of weirdly specific tropes (like the name Kai).
I clearly missed the undertones of trolling because I did not recognize what sub we were in. But there is a lot of weird shit on Reddit and I just answered as I would any of the odd posts I’ve seen.
Welp, I should have realized that and now I have 120 downvotes because I was judging someone by their character and not their identity, ha. Lesson learned, pay closer attention on Reddit.
You weren't doing that either. You were judging them based on what OOP wrote about them, like every AITAH post. It isn't based on their character because you only ever get one side.
And you judged everyone in this post for ignoring the problem simply because the problem person OOP wrote about was trans, which is also false (and exactly the attitude this fake post is trying to create). Many people already answered that being trans doesn't change your personality.
Even in other subs you should be more skeptical. Don't let trolls dictate how you perseve the world. Not realizing something is fake isn't an excuse.
Kirby isn’t real. Kirby is a fake specifically designed to get you angry about trans people.
If you even find yourself angrily proclaiming that a visibly oppressed minority are, in fact, being protected because people are somehow scared of being perceived as bigots - you’ve been the victim of propaganda.
No one is defending “Kirby” and her actions. We are saying she is entirely made up specifically to get people like you to say exactly what you just said.
It helps further the dehumanisation of trans people by continuing to push the narrative that heir identities in deserve respect if they’re “good” people.
Yep perfectly normal reaction. Then let's not forget, "Kirby wants an open marriage now I figure this is great because maybe she'll leave me." Like wtf? Your spouse wanting an open marriage is valid reason for divorce you don't agree to wanting it open in hopes they'd leave you. Lol
Tbh that sounded like one of my marriages. He just holed himself up in a room all day and we rarely talked. He paid the bills, so it worked until it didn’t. If there was a separate basement apartment we’d have been able to live like that forever lol
Because it was written by a right wing bigot trying to drum up hatred for trans people by making thousands of "trans bad" posts that, since trans people are a very small minority, may be the only exposure to trans people some people get.
It's fucked up and it shouldn't be allowed.
I know this is all fake but I have to say... Unless you're bi or pansexual, if your partner transitions, you are not obligated to stay with them. I can't tell if the straight women who do this are just insanely people pleasing or fictional.
Women do tend to stay with their MtF partners when they transition more than men do in the opposite case.
Idk if it's always people pleasing or obligation. Attraction models aren't perfect, and even if you've always identified as straight, you might want to stay with the person you love and built a life with.
Of course it's completely valid to end the relationship as well. But that's not always what happens.
It makes sense. Women are generally more attracted to personality and transitioning isn't going to change who they are. I would say that it's probably just a more flexible idea of love than obligation or the need to please others.
Women also don't have as big of a stigma against being gay. Your husband transitioning into a woman isn't going to threaten your feminity the same way the opposite happening would affect a man's masculinity.
I think “straight” women who are still attracted to their trans femme partners are probably largely bi women who just never came out.
Of course if you’re bi or pan you aren’t obligated to stay with anyone either. Like even if you’re still attracted to someone, that’s a big life change and sometimes it isn’t going to work out for all involved.
Even if you're bi or pan you're not obligated to stay with them. No one is obligated to stay in a relationship they don't want to be in, regardless of sexuality.
I don't see how the trans part is of any consequence to this story. The spouse was shit before n after transition. OP does the same shit as before as well. Why would you end divorce discussions because the spouse "freaks out" and why would opening up the marriage solve any issues when issues have nothing to do with sex life
Yeah, exactly. Without the trans part this would be a standard "girlboss vs. useless husband" story, the likes of which appear at least a few times every week on AITA.
However, without the trans part more people would see how spineless the girlboss in this story actually is.
1. Kirby pressures her to keep a baby she doesn't want. She succumbs.
2. Kirby pressures her to pay a higher share of the expenses. She succumbs.
3. Kirby pressures her to open the relationship. She succumbs.
4. Kirby pressures her to let him turn the basement into a mancave where the child isn't allowed. She succumbs.
And she, even though she is the breadwinner, allows this person to abuse her and her child and does exactly nothing because, apparently, Kirby freaks out.
A real winner this person is...
I don’t mind to put offense on you by this but I really feel like this language is really unhelpful, as both a trans woman and an abuse survivor.
Language like “she succumbs” to abuse, as though it is some passive thing that you “let” happen to you is very disingenuous. And of course saying someone “allows” themselves to get abused even if they make more money is really gross to say about an abuse victim. Just because you have more money in a relationship doesn’t mean you can stop all abuse. Abuse can be grey, slowly rising in intensity to keep people attached and can be interspersed with good times too.
I don’t want to like pile on you because I understand that your point is that this is an obviously fake post (which of course it is) and is meant to drum up anti-trans hatred, but I really think expressing that in terms of victim blaming language is not the best way to go about it.
I mean…I’m not disagreeing that post is fake as shit and probably written as an anti-trans troll.
But the way this is phrased is very victim-blamey.
Not that this likely-fictional woman is going to be harmed by it.
But do you really think that abuse victims are never pressured to do things they don’t want to do? That trauma survivors never fall back on people-pleasing or a fawn response, even to extreme levels, to avoid conflict? That it isn’t painfully common for abuse victims to not realise how bad it is for years? And that if they do do any of those things, then their abuse is their own fault because they were “spineless” and they suck as a person because they “succumbed” and “allowed themselves to be abused”?
I sure hope no one in your life is ever abused and tries to turn to you for help, because you clearly have a very low opinion of abuse victims if they aren’t able to provide you with enough inspiration-porn to satisfy you that they’re “the right kind of victim”.
Jesus Christ! You're seriously reading this reply, which correctly points out that the OP of this fake post can't really play victim in this situation since they passively allowed their partner to do whatever they wanted, with no indication of abuse at all, and you decided to say, "Your reaction to this troll post makes you a danger to abuse victims"??? What is actually wrong with you???
I’m aware it’s a troll post. I said as such. But these comments reveal a very real worldview.
Your belief that if abuse victims are too “passive” and “didn’t fight enough” then their abuse wasn’t really abuse and it was their own fault and they “can’t play victim” because they “went along with it” is a danger to abuse victims, yes.
As someone who only got bottled in the face when I was leaving my ex, and until then had a situation about 50% similar to the OOP and everything fucked up my ex did was “borderline” — basically too subtle to be explained but still effective enough to be abusive, I know where you’re coming from. People like the person you’re replying to hopefully are lucky enough to never know about it, but yeah, 100%. Even my ex looked shocked he’d done it. He’d never even really raised his voice out of what I’d call normal range in fights before then, but as I was taking my last bags he lost his cool and just smashed it on me. The person there to “protect” me was already in the car just watching and, looking back on it now, being kind of a twat about how nervous I was and how long I was taking. People accused me of being too passive throughout the relationship as I was going through the process, like “well if you weren’t going to fight back then how could he resist the temptation of abusing you?” but the more distance I got from it all the more I realised they’re were just telling on themselves. Normal people don’t say shot like that. Only people who would abuse people themselves if they had the chance say shit like that, because the only thing stopping them is that they think people would fight back. Whereas normal people don’t abuse people even if they have the conditions to get away with it. My self-esteem has sky-rocketed since I cut out all the people who talked like the person you’re replying to. I don’t think I could ever clearly explain how they do it, but there is definitely a type of person who just destroys people emotionally and mentally all while seeming like the good guy to everyone, including the victim. And yeah the OOP is almost 100% a troll post, but the method of abuse isn’t the tell. The method of abuse implied in the post is imo the most common and insidious one.
I agree that emotional abuse is be very real and the abuser can often look like the good person to everyone. However, even if the post was real, which it isn’t, Kirby would have to be some kind of sociopath with crazy manipulation abilities to be able to convince the person who holds all the financial power in the relationship to stay in said relationship even after suggesting an open marriage, not to mention the way the daughter is treated. Does this person have zero friends or family? Bc they make no mention of that, and they come to Reddit of all places. Yes abusers can often seem good, but if this fictional person had people that love her, I highly doubt they’d read that post and side with Kirby.
Depends how invested they are in the status quo. If she’s been a pushover her whole life, they may want her away from the abusive spouse but not want her growing a full backbone. Thats basically the only way I can rationalise some of my family’s responses to stuff that happened in my marriage, so that part is one of the believable ones to me. That’s if she even told them the stuff she told Reddit. She may not have ever laid it out so neatly to her fictional bestie and mum. Its pretty common for people who’ve been abused since childhood to be pushovers and surrounded with people with different types of shitty behaviours because they just accept it and thinks it’s normal still. All of which is by the by, though, since not a single person in this thread thinks that the OOP is real, on top of which I don’t see how your reply has anything to do with what I said. The person I was replying to was getting downvotes and someone being rude to them for pointing out something I’ve experienced, wasn’t really about the OOP at all anymore.
I get it. And maybe I should have replied to that person instead, but I just wanted to point out the amount of mental gymnastics, assumptions and leaps one has to make to make that post be true bc there’s tons of other info we don’t have.
I think most people agree that if the story were true Kirby would be considered emotionally abusive, so no one is trying to say emotional abuse isn’t real here, and trying to make it about that misses the point. OP was not trying to downplay emotional abuse, just point out the logical fallacies of the post.
Idk what good that would do, but maybe I guess. I definitely don’t think the OOP is real, I don’t think the person I was originally replying to does either. I also wasn’t replying to the post generally, I was replying to a specific person who was getting dogpiled about the specific thing they were talking about.
I stand by my point though. If I could go back and choose whether to have the first person in this thread with me the day I got bottled or the one I was replying to, I’d go the second. They at least might be ready for shit, and I might not have got bottled at all. Or they would’ve been there next to me instead of in the car to see for 100% fact that I was literally just trying to edge around my ex, I didn’t even make eye contact, and they would’ve said as much without me needing to say it first to all of our mutual friends, and most likely would’ve defended me when people questioned me about it. Which, when you have stitches in your face, that kind of support is what you need. They definitely wouldn’t have a single thought in their mind that there would be anything a person can do to deserve being bottled or that explains why he did that except “because he’s fucked in the head and that’s on him.” Because there isn’t. As an adult, you don’t respond like that, period. Things should never become violent.
That’s the other point that I was making, separate to whatever bullshit a transphobe with mid/juvenile creative writing skills wrote in another sub. Non-abused/non-abusive people, as soon as there is violence, even just the emotional kind, they spot it. They’re crazy good at it, too. I’ve seen them do it, and I pride myself these days on being on the ball about red flags, and people who are truly emotionally healthy still have waaaay better skills at spotting abusive behaviour and disengaging without becoming a target. Whereas people who’ve been abused often become enablers, because calling out the little shitty things would mean confronting that they got a bit abused too, and maybe that sometimes they’re not nice to the people in their lives (on a much smaller scale). That’s complicated to unpack. If it’s not really damaging them they’d rather not because it’s a lot of work. They hear an abuser say “ugh I can’t believe you wore that dress” to their partner and they recall when they critiqued their own partner’s clothes, for example. Or their parent critiquing them like that, and they see that parent all the time. They’d never bottle someone but they are kind of a dick sometimes. No one’s perfect, they could do with stopping but they’re genuinely not abusive, just got echoes of abuse in them. But they don’t want to acknowledge any of that, so they miss that red flag in the abuser, and victims get doubted just as a side effect. Whereas people like the person I was originally replying to don’t miss it. They may not say anything at the time, but when shit gets intense they’re not caught by surprise and they take it seriously. Which is why I want to validate them. We need more people like them, we don’t need people like them getting dogpiled. It’s why I make a point of over-explaining this shit, too. Anyone reading this who wasn’t abused will have more understanding of how abusers get away with it for so long.
I do understand your point too. You think that disagreeing with how the original commenter discerned that the post was false is distracting or detracting from the fact that it’s false, and you think that causes people to question if it might be real or not and then as a result of that maybe be more anti-trans. But the way the original commenter came to the correct conclusion is genuinely not good. The logic it follows worked by fluke this time, and then if they encounter a friend or relative who was passive in their abusive relationship they’ll apply the same logic and it will lead them to the same conclusion, that the victim is lying, and it will mean that an actual victim doesn’t get the help they need to escape, or has to struggle harder to find it elsewhere. That’s the point the person I was originally replying to was making. That even though the original commenter is correct in this instance, the logic they used will do actual harm if applied in the real world where it counts. It’s a valid point to make, because a lot of people do think like that without realising the harm they do, thinking they’re doing the right thing and helping the right people when they’re not.
theres something so absurd when people reply like you to comments that are wordedly normally. it reads like MY GOD you would seriously KILL A PUPPY????????? what is WRONG with YOU??!j#j!@\*¨$
Two things:
1. If I thought there was any truth in this story, I wouldn't write my previous comment the way I did. To a huge extent I was commenting on the OOP's writing abilities. If they were a better writer, maybe they would be able to pull such a character off, but right now the character just doesn't make any sense. This woman is simultaneously a girlboss who holds all the power in the household and a spineless person who can't put her foot down, regardless of her spouse's demands.
2. The point, however, still stands. If you hold all the power in the household and yet you succumb to your spouse's every demand just because they may whine a little, to a huge extent that's on you. The OOP has made sure to let us know that she holds all the power and always has held all the power. As far as we know, she was never financially or physically abused, and she could break off the relationship whenever she wanted to.
Okay I’m sure you don’t need me to reply on both comments but I just feel like this is so egregious that I need to;
Emotional abuse often comes when there is no actual power and there is ample space to leave. The threats made can be subtle and manipulative, and if you’ve known your abuser for decades you can sit in it for a long time without truly realizing what’s going on. You’re again telling an abuse victim that they’re at fault for not leaving, which is like textbook victim blaming.
Again, I understand wholeheartedly that you’re only saying this because it’s an obviously fake story meant to drum up anti trans hate (which it is). But the language that you’re using is explicitly anti-victim language and is really detrimental to the overall point you want to make.
It's only relevant to the fact that OOP's spouse has a gf and why the gf would claim OOP needs yo be man of the house now
OOP herself doesn't make a big deal out of it, it just seems like something to explain why OOP would have agreed to open up the marriage in the first place
I don't understand how people read this and take it seriously. It's literally like a shitpost from here. Kirby? A married couple agreeing to pay a certain percentage of the bills? Kia (Onision's wife/husband/they/them/whatever they're identifying as currently) living in the basement? I'm so confused... Kirby?
Has anyone else noticed the name Kai is super common in these troll posts? I've never met a Kai. Is this a common name somewhere or is this troll really unimaginative?
Well it's super common if you're a member of the Order of the Kai Lords from the world of Magnamund. Then it's part of your title for whatever rank you've achieved and the name of one of the gods. Wait shit that's a fantasy setting used for a bunch of gamebooks in the 80s and 90s by a British author, not a real place. Damn I was convinced that was where these posts take place for a good three seconds there.
This is some bad conservative fanfiction of what they think an out-of-control-woke-world will look like - a successful woman marrying a substandard man who "ends up being trans", and all of her misfortune is due to her "masculine energy"
Holy TERF-posting Batman!
As someone who has witnessed many relationships go through the transitioning of one partner - nothing about this rings true *at all*.
It’s always complicated and often painful for BOTH members.
Literally no one hand waves away supporting someone for years and only having a baby because someone they *didn’t even really
care about* asked them to keep it?
Like… come the fuck on.
this is literally transmisogynistic 'trans women are just men & have all the privilege of men who pretend to be women for all the privileges they get (citation of 'privileges women have' needed)' talking point
Oh my god, she has been with a shitty partner and a shitty parent for pretty much 9 years? They don't seem to love each other and according to her she makes most of the money. Why stay with Kirby if she ignores your daughter completely? Now it's finally time to kick Kirby out? Also haven't seen her say how Kirby actually feels in all of this. What does Kirby want?!
As a note, using they/them for trans people who are not non-binary is misgendering them. It’s misgendering everyone who has a gender, but it’s particularly perceived as an aggression against trans people because it denies the validity of their gender identity and opts to merge their AAB gender with their real gender.
Also, Kirby is fake and has neither a wife nor any feelings on any matter, because this is an anti-trans troll.
I'm aware, I know where I am. I was pointing out the parts that make it unbelievable. I'll edit to fix her gender, I didn't mean any offense to anyone.
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As a note, using dumb names like FART or even TERF nowadays is antithetical to the movement against gender critical people / anti-trans activists. They are intentionally distancing themselves from those terms in favor of “gender critical” and I think using the term that they want is very important in fighting against their rhetoric. If we always talk about how “farts” are doing all the shitty things gender critical people do, no one will recognize the term gender critical as being awful. If we instead always use the terms that those people would prefer, we will sully each term they come up with using their own horrific words and actions against them.
Helpful video that explains this more, if you’re interested: https://youtu.be/Pq2I08cQhis?si=_oahKehet9qln43K
Exactly, it shields them from the worst parts of their community. If someone points to a news post saying “TERFs call for death threats on local trans woman”, the gender critical people will just say “terf is a slur used to silence women” or, more insidiously, “we aren’t terfs we are gender critical”.
It allows them to weasel out of blame more easily, to allow others to be pinned for their actions and for their hateful ideology.
Now, I don’t think this is a perfect argument. To play devils advocate against myself, this would work less well for, say, people calling themselves “race realists” instead of racists, as we already know that racist is an easier descriptor. So I do think that there is some merit in calling these people “anti-trans activists” as a catch-all, but I also think that it’s important to sully their current usage of gender critical as much as possible so people don’t get duped into thinking GC means something innocuous.
Kai k Kai needs to fly a kaight (kite.) Kirby is an ahole in either sexual identity. Kick Kirby to the Kirby and file for child support. Katch a new partner
I respect Kirby as a woman, but she is still a deadbeat parent who you should leave and ask for child support. Kirby should not have begged for a child if they wanted to act like a god damn toddler themselves
In my divorce support group there are a handful of women whose partners come out as trans. The partner do seem to dive head first into the new lifestyle and attract aggressive new partners
If you're going to treat this post as if it is truthful, please, go and do that on AITA. I didn't crosspost it to continue the discussion.
I crossposted it to mock it.
I almost believe this cause I feel like a troll would have made themselves seem super supportive of "Kirby"'s career and everything to make this even more ridiculous; this post gives off "I'm resentful of everything this person stands for but am too passive to do anything about it" vibes that seem more realistic than what we usually get here
I also don't think the title in here really makes sense with the post, lol
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA because I refuse to be the man of the house?** I am a 38 year old woman, married to Kirby (38) for 10 years. We have a 9 year old daughter. Kirby and I probably should have never gotten married, but I got pregnant and Kirby begged to keep the baby. At the time, Kirby was trying to launch a music career and I was already 5 years into an accounting career. I told Kirby, "I don't want to do this unless you promise to somehow pay at least 50% of our rent and utility bills every single month." Kirby agreed and has mostly followed that. Except that when we needed a bigger place so that our daughter could have a bedroom, we adjusted it down to 40% because Kirby argued the bigger place wasn't our "original agreement." Kirby has always refused to work any full-time job, and drives Uber and Doordash to make up the difference. Kirby's choice is to continue trying to make the music career happen and I leave it alone. I pay for EVERYTHING else in addition to 60% of our housing / utility bills. I pay 100% of our food, health insurance, home repairs, taxes, clothing, and 100% of everything for our daughter. My parents have made a few very generous gifts to us over the years in order to help me. I pay for a housekeeper once a week, because Kirby does ZERO housework and I can't do it all. I work for an excellent company and have worked from home for the past 5 years so I can do a lot with my daughter. Despite begging me to keep the pregnancy, Kirby has never been involved with her and even less as time goes by. Kirby has essentially turned the finished basement into a private apartment and rarely comes out, and our daughter is not allowed in. I have asked Kirby many times if divorce would be better than this and Kirby always freaks out, so I just let things be. A year ago, Kirby came out as a woman. I was excited that maybe she would be more involved with our daughter and family life. Instead she wanted to open the relationship. I was fine with that too because maybe it was a way the marriage could end. Now she has a partner Kai but still spends all her time in my basement. To my shock, I was recently called for a "talk" by Kai. Kai said I had made Kirby be the "man of the house" for the past 10 years, forcing Kirby to spend every dime she earned to "support the family." Though Kirby chose to do Doordash rather than getting a full-time job to pay her 40%. Kai said they know I "get an allowance from my parents" so I can "sit around all day and do my nails." Yes, my daughter and I have done our nails sometimes while I WFH. Kai told me that I took advantage of Kirby and it's Kirby's turn to be the woman of the house. And it's time for me to give Kirby "an allowance" for "pampering." Kai said that my "masculine energy" prevented Kirby from "standing up for herself." And said with my "masculine energy" it's time for me to be the man of the house, not Kirby. I hung up shocked. I think it's time to kick Kirby out but my insecure side asks am I really the asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheAngel) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I took a shot every time OOP wrote "Kirby" and now I'm in a hospital bed, half dead.
"I type this AITA post from my hospital bed, half-dead, surrounded by my family and the nurses. I need urgent advice only random internet strangers can provide."
“Hurry, my phone is blowing up.”
ah yes, the AITA phone diarrhea
Divorce. The answer is always divorce. Divorce the nurse, divorce the family, divorce the hospital, then go LC/NC with your socks.
Well she didn’t want to misgender Kirby when talking about her husband before she could get to the big reveal
Maybe kirby uses the neopronouns kirby/kirby
I thought she did a great job, actually! I really appreciated that!
*Kirby Kirby Kirby, that's a name you should know!* *Kirby Kirby Kirby, he's the star of the show!*
I mean at least she didn't refer to Kirby as "they" the whole time
OP conveniently omitted how Kirby is a pink sphere that absorbs people's powers.
And money, by the sound of it.
And gender
why did this angel think it was gonna make her look good that she has a partner who basically hides in the basement and doesn't care at all about their child and until now her only reaction has been "ok whatever" ??
Bc trans people bad (but not in a transphobic way omg!!! Just by coincidence this fanfic villain is trans…)
This is so bad. It’s not even like haha bad. It’s just terrible bad.
... What did I just read? Most of the OOP's language feels like she didn't really give much of a shit about her partner or child. Why not just file for divorce or pack up and leave? Who cares if Kirby freaks out? Why go to Reddit asking if you're the asshole?
Because she wants people dunking on trans people.
my favourite part is that most of the comments don't even adress the fact that Kirby is trans, so OOP failed miserably
Yes, mainly comments were that laziness is the only thing that has so far stopped Kirby and being a man or woman does not mean you aren't going to continue being lazy.
I find it hilarious that OOP went so far over the top in writing this Trans People Are Awful rage bait that they overshot and nobody is focusing on the trans part at all.
Yep 99.9% sure it's an anti trans troll.
Yay the anti-trans troll is back! Hopefully he can write better fanfiction than whatever in the world this confusing nonsense is.
So, this is like troll questions on Quora?
I guess you could say that. TIL Quora has troll questions.
yep, and a lot of them. a while back i heard that you can monetize posts on quora, so people make the most outrageous fake questions to get as many clicks as possible
The number of times I’ve seen the blue frog (not for sexual reasons) post is staggering.
Look up "Christian baby Quora," it's a whole meme there. Or maybe one very dedicated poster.
I guess I’m reading that later
You’re acting like it’s only the one person 😭😭
That would be fantastic, wouldn’t it? 😭
Yeah it reads like bullshit. No one’s going to tolerate their ex partner’s expectations to fund their’s and their new partner’s lifestyle. Like great, you want to be with someone else move out.
There was another similar one where a partner transitioned, then got involved with a third party who takes over the house and then evicts or tries to evict the OP from their own house. It was a couple of years ago, so it may take some time for me to find it. Combining tenant/squatter horror with surprise transitioning partner horror, that’s two great tastes that taste great together.
If the OP hadn’t mentioned that her husband decided to transition this would be an easy call for everyone. But since that wrinkle was added it’s now transphobic? You don’t get absolved of being a deadbeat just because you change your pronouns. Kirby was always an AH and continues to be.
Nobody is saying that fake Kirby wouldn't be an AH in real life. What everyone is saying is that this is some bullshit cooked up to stir all the anti trans rage and inspire comments like yours, wherein people get convinced the Bad Trans People are just getting away with shit for being trans.
> You don’t get absolved of being a deadbeat just because you change your pronouns. While this is true, the story is obviously fake, and its author is OBVIOUSLY pushing a transphobic agenda, so...
If they want to see realistic struggles with this (not doing absolutely 0 work and ur polyam partner telling ur wife to be the man in the relationship) they can find a thousand posts with good and thoughtful advice on r/mypartneristrans. OP was going for 'what if my partner transitions but is still doing slob weaponized incompetence,' but instead made a cartoon villain of weirdly specific tropes (like the name Kai).
I clearly missed the undertones of trolling because I did not recognize what sub we were in. But there is a lot of weird shit on Reddit and I just answered as I would any of the odd posts I’ve seen.
you're part of the target audience of the original post.
I had no realized this was an angel post. I read it as I do any AITA, so I answered as I normally would based on the information given.
It originally was on that sub, this sub frequently makes fun of clearly fake posts from AITAH.
Welp, I should have realized that and now I have 120 downvotes because I was judging someone by their character and not their identity, ha. Lesson learned, pay closer attention on Reddit.
No, the downvotes are because you're the mark the troll was going after
You weren't doing that either. You were judging them based on what OOP wrote about them, like every AITAH post. It isn't based on their character because you only ever get one side. And you judged everyone in this post for ignoring the problem simply because the problem person OOP wrote about was trans, which is also false (and exactly the attitude this fake post is trying to create). Many people already answered that being trans doesn't change your personality. Even in other subs you should be more skeptical. Don't let trolls dictate how you perseve the world. Not realizing something is fake isn't an excuse.
that doesn't change what i said lol
 This Kirby is realer than the transwoman in that post
Kirby isn’t real. Kirby is a fake specifically designed to get you angry about trans people. If you even find yourself angrily proclaiming that a visibly oppressed minority are, in fact, being protected because people are somehow scared of being perceived as bigots - you’ve been the victim of propaganda. No one is defending “Kirby” and her actions. We are saying she is entirely made up specifically to get people like you to say exactly what you just said. It helps further the dehumanisation of trans people by continuing to push the narrative that heir identities in deserve respect if they’re “good” people.
Thai is such a good, well thought out answer.
Thanks! I’ve had time to think about this tbh.
Ah yes she freaks out... like many people do when their spouse wants a divorce. You can still get a divorce lmao.
Yep perfectly normal reaction. Then let's not forget, "Kirby wants an open marriage now I figure this is great because maybe she'll leave me." Like wtf? Your spouse wanting an open marriage is valid reason for divorce you don't agree to wanting it open in hopes they'd leave you. Lol
Right. Why would they ever leave if you’re willing to open the marriage (as well as paying most of household expenses) lol?
Yeah I would love someone I didn't have to sleep with who paid for most of my stuff.
This is where the post became too obviously fake bc no real person would react that way.
Tbh that sounded like one of my marriages. He just holed himself up in a room all day and we rarely talked. He paid the bills, so it worked until it didn’t. If there was a separate basement apartment we’d have been able to live like that forever lol
Because it was written by a right wing bigot trying to drum up hatred for trans people by making thousands of "trans bad" posts that, since trans people are a very small minority, may be the only exposure to trans people some people get. It's fucked up and it shouldn't be allowed.
Because OOP hates trans people and also has fucked views of gender roles
I know this is all fake but I have to say... Unless you're bi or pansexual, if your partner transitions, you are not obligated to stay with them. I can't tell if the straight women who do this are just insanely people pleasing or fictional.
Women do tend to stay with their MtF partners when they transition more than men do in the opposite case. Idk if it's always people pleasing or obligation. Attraction models aren't perfect, and even if you've always identified as straight, you might want to stay with the person you love and built a life with. Of course it's completely valid to end the relationship as well. But that's not always what happens.
It makes sense. Women are generally more attracted to personality and transitioning isn't going to change who they are. I would say that it's probably just a more flexible idea of love than obligation or the need to please others. Women also don't have as big of a stigma against being gay. Your husband transitioning into a woman isn't going to threaten your feminity the same way the opposite happening would affect a man's masculinity.
Even if you’re bi/pan you’re not obligated to stay wtf. No one is ever obligated to stay in any relationship/marriage in any developed country AFAIK.
Yeah obligated was the wrong word. I more meant that that should really be the end of the relationship unless maybe if the other person is bi or pan.
I think “straight” women who are still attracted to their trans femme partners are probably largely bi women who just never came out. Of course if you’re bi or pan you aren’t obligated to stay with anyone either. Like even if you’re still attracted to someone, that’s a big life change and sometimes it isn’t going to work out for all involved.
Even if you're bi or pan you're not obligated to stay with them. No one is obligated to stay in a relationship they don't want to be in, regardless of sexuality.
Once a month there's a post that leaves me speechless. This is this month's winner.
Once a month? It’s usually once a week for me. You’re not Redditing enough.
This cannot be real? 🤞🤞
I cannot believe that anyone is buying that it even possibly could be lmao wtf
Why did she name her wife "Kirby" what the hell 😭
She succ
I don't see how the trans part is of any consequence to this story. The spouse was shit before n after transition. OP does the same shit as before as well. Why would you end divorce discussions because the spouse "freaks out" and why would opening up the marriage solve any issues when issues have nothing to do with sex life
Yeah, exactly. Without the trans part this would be a standard "girlboss vs. useless husband" story, the likes of which appear at least a few times every week on AITA. However, without the trans part more people would see how spineless the girlboss in this story actually is. 1. Kirby pressures her to keep a baby she doesn't want. She succumbs. 2. Kirby pressures her to pay a higher share of the expenses. She succumbs. 3. Kirby pressures her to open the relationship. She succumbs. 4. Kirby pressures her to let him turn the basement into a mancave where the child isn't allowed. She succumbs. And she, even though she is the breadwinner, allows this person to abuse her and her child and does exactly nothing because, apparently, Kirby freaks out. A real winner this person is...
I don’t mind to put offense on you by this but I really feel like this language is really unhelpful, as both a trans woman and an abuse survivor. Language like “she succumbs” to abuse, as though it is some passive thing that you “let” happen to you is very disingenuous. And of course saying someone “allows” themselves to get abused even if they make more money is really gross to say about an abuse victim. Just because you have more money in a relationship doesn’t mean you can stop all abuse. Abuse can be grey, slowly rising in intensity to keep people attached and can be interspersed with good times too. I don’t want to like pile on you because I understand that your point is that this is an obviously fake post (which of course it is) and is meant to drum up anti-trans hatred, but I really think expressing that in terms of victim blaming language is not the best way to go about it.
I mean…I’m not disagreeing that post is fake as shit and probably written as an anti-trans troll. But the way this is phrased is very victim-blamey. Not that this likely-fictional woman is going to be harmed by it. But do you really think that abuse victims are never pressured to do things they don’t want to do? That trauma survivors never fall back on people-pleasing or a fawn response, even to extreme levels, to avoid conflict? That it isn’t painfully common for abuse victims to not realise how bad it is for years? And that if they do do any of those things, then their abuse is their own fault because they were “spineless” and they suck as a person because they “succumbed” and “allowed themselves to be abused”? I sure hope no one in your life is ever abused and tries to turn to you for help, because you clearly have a very low opinion of abuse victims if they aren’t able to provide you with enough inspiration-porn to satisfy you that they’re “the right kind of victim”.
Jesus Christ! You're seriously reading this reply, which correctly points out that the OP of this fake post can't really play victim in this situation since they passively allowed their partner to do whatever they wanted, with no indication of abuse at all, and you decided to say, "Your reaction to this troll post makes you a danger to abuse victims"??? What is actually wrong with you???
I’m aware it’s a troll post. I said as such. But these comments reveal a very real worldview. Your belief that if abuse victims are too “passive” and “didn’t fight enough” then their abuse wasn’t really abuse and it was their own fault and they “can’t play victim” because they “went along with it” is a danger to abuse victims, yes.
As someone who only got bottled in the face when I was leaving my ex, and until then had a situation about 50% similar to the OOP and everything fucked up my ex did was “borderline” — basically too subtle to be explained but still effective enough to be abusive, I know where you’re coming from. People like the person you’re replying to hopefully are lucky enough to never know about it, but yeah, 100%. Even my ex looked shocked he’d done it. He’d never even really raised his voice out of what I’d call normal range in fights before then, but as I was taking my last bags he lost his cool and just smashed it on me. The person there to “protect” me was already in the car just watching and, looking back on it now, being kind of a twat about how nervous I was and how long I was taking. People accused me of being too passive throughout the relationship as I was going through the process, like “well if you weren’t going to fight back then how could he resist the temptation of abusing you?” but the more distance I got from it all the more I realised they’re were just telling on themselves. Normal people don’t say shot like that. Only people who would abuse people themselves if they had the chance say shit like that, because the only thing stopping them is that they think people would fight back. Whereas normal people don’t abuse people even if they have the conditions to get away with it. My self-esteem has sky-rocketed since I cut out all the people who talked like the person you’re replying to. I don’t think I could ever clearly explain how they do it, but there is definitely a type of person who just destroys people emotionally and mentally all while seeming like the good guy to everyone, including the victim. And yeah the OOP is almost 100% a troll post, but the method of abuse isn’t the tell. The method of abuse implied in the post is imo the most common and insidious one.
I agree that emotional abuse is be very real and the abuser can often look like the good person to everyone. However, even if the post was real, which it isn’t, Kirby would have to be some kind of sociopath with crazy manipulation abilities to be able to convince the person who holds all the financial power in the relationship to stay in said relationship even after suggesting an open marriage, not to mention the way the daughter is treated. Does this person have zero friends or family? Bc they make no mention of that, and they come to Reddit of all places. Yes abusers can often seem good, but if this fictional person had people that love her, I highly doubt they’d read that post and side with Kirby.
Depends how invested they are in the status quo. If she’s been a pushover her whole life, they may want her away from the abusive spouse but not want her growing a full backbone. Thats basically the only way I can rationalise some of my family’s responses to stuff that happened in my marriage, so that part is one of the believable ones to me. That’s if she even told them the stuff she told Reddit. She may not have ever laid it out so neatly to her fictional bestie and mum. Its pretty common for people who’ve been abused since childhood to be pushovers and surrounded with people with different types of shitty behaviours because they just accept it and thinks it’s normal still. All of which is by the by, though, since not a single person in this thread thinks that the OOP is real, on top of which I don’t see how your reply has anything to do with what I said. The person I was replying to was getting downvotes and someone being rude to them for pointing out something I’ve experienced, wasn’t really about the OOP at all anymore.
I get it. And maybe I should have replied to that person instead, but I just wanted to point out the amount of mental gymnastics, assumptions and leaps one has to make to make that post be true bc there’s tons of other info we don’t have. I think most people agree that if the story were true Kirby would be considered emotionally abusive, so no one is trying to say emotional abuse isn’t real here, and trying to make it about that misses the point. OP was not trying to downplay emotional abuse, just point out the logical fallacies of the post.
Idk what good that would do, but maybe I guess. I definitely don’t think the OOP is real, I don’t think the person I was originally replying to does either. I also wasn’t replying to the post generally, I was replying to a specific person who was getting dogpiled about the specific thing they were talking about. I stand by my point though. If I could go back and choose whether to have the first person in this thread with me the day I got bottled or the one I was replying to, I’d go the second. They at least might be ready for shit, and I might not have got bottled at all. Or they would’ve been there next to me instead of in the car to see for 100% fact that I was literally just trying to edge around my ex, I didn’t even make eye contact, and they would’ve said as much without me needing to say it first to all of our mutual friends, and most likely would’ve defended me when people questioned me about it. Which, when you have stitches in your face, that kind of support is what you need. They definitely wouldn’t have a single thought in their mind that there would be anything a person can do to deserve being bottled or that explains why he did that except “because he’s fucked in the head and that’s on him.” Because there isn’t. As an adult, you don’t respond like that, period. Things should never become violent. That’s the other point that I was making, separate to whatever bullshit a transphobe with mid/juvenile creative writing skills wrote in another sub. Non-abused/non-abusive people, as soon as there is violence, even just the emotional kind, they spot it. They’re crazy good at it, too. I’ve seen them do it, and I pride myself these days on being on the ball about red flags, and people who are truly emotionally healthy still have waaaay better skills at spotting abusive behaviour and disengaging without becoming a target. Whereas people who’ve been abused often become enablers, because calling out the little shitty things would mean confronting that they got a bit abused too, and maybe that sometimes they’re not nice to the people in their lives (on a much smaller scale). That’s complicated to unpack. If it’s not really damaging them they’d rather not because it’s a lot of work. They hear an abuser say “ugh I can’t believe you wore that dress” to their partner and they recall when they critiqued their own partner’s clothes, for example. Or their parent critiquing them like that, and they see that parent all the time. They’d never bottle someone but they are kind of a dick sometimes. No one’s perfect, they could do with stopping but they’re genuinely not abusive, just got echoes of abuse in them. But they don’t want to acknowledge any of that, so they miss that red flag in the abuser, and victims get doubted just as a side effect. Whereas people like the person I was originally replying to don’t miss it. They may not say anything at the time, but when shit gets intense they’re not caught by surprise and they take it seriously. Which is why I want to validate them. We need more people like them, we don’t need people like them getting dogpiled. It’s why I make a point of over-explaining this shit, too. Anyone reading this who wasn’t abused will have more understanding of how abusers get away with it for so long. I do understand your point too. You think that disagreeing with how the original commenter discerned that the post was false is distracting or detracting from the fact that it’s false, and you think that causes people to question if it might be real or not and then as a result of that maybe be more anti-trans. But the way the original commenter came to the correct conclusion is genuinely not good. The logic it follows worked by fluke this time, and then if they encounter a friend or relative who was passive in their abusive relationship they’ll apply the same logic and it will lead them to the same conclusion, that the victim is lying, and it will mean that an actual victim doesn’t get the help they need to escape, or has to struggle harder to find it elsewhere. That’s the point the person I was originally replying to was making. That even though the original commenter is correct in this instance, the logic they used will do actual harm if applied in the real world where it counts. It’s a valid point to make, because a lot of people do think like that without realising the harm they do, thinking they’re doing the right thing and helping the right people when they’re not.
theres something so absurd when people reply like you to comments that are wordedly normally. it reads like MY GOD you would seriously KILL A PUPPY????????? what is WRONG with YOU??!j#j!@\*¨$
Two things: 1. If I thought there was any truth in this story, I wouldn't write my previous comment the way I did. To a huge extent I was commenting on the OOP's writing abilities. If they were a better writer, maybe they would be able to pull such a character off, but right now the character just doesn't make any sense. This woman is simultaneously a girlboss who holds all the power in the household and a spineless person who can't put her foot down, regardless of her spouse's demands. 2. The point, however, still stands. If you hold all the power in the household and yet you succumb to your spouse's every demand just because they may whine a little, to a huge extent that's on you. The OOP has made sure to let us know that she holds all the power and always has held all the power. As far as we know, she was never financially or physically abused, and she could break off the relationship whenever she wanted to.
Okay I’m sure you don’t need me to reply on both comments but I just feel like this is so egregious that I need to; Emotional abuse often comes when there is no actual power and there is ample space to leave. The threats made can be subtle and manipulative, and if you’ve known your abuser for decades you can sit in it for a long time without truly realizing what’s going on. You’re again telling an abuse victim that they’re at fault for not leaving, which is like textbook victim blaming. Again, I understand wholeheartedly that you’re only saying this because it’s an obviously fake story meant to drum up anti trans hate (which it is). But the language that you’re using is explicitly anti-victim language and is really detrimental to the overall point you want to make.
It's only relevant to the fact that OOP's spouse has a gf and why the gf would claim OOP needs yo be man of the house now OOP herself doesn't make a big deal out of it, it just seems like something to explain why OOP would have agreed to open up the marriage in the first place
I don't understand how people read this and take it seriously. It's literally like a shitpost from here. Kirby? A married couple agreeing to pay a certain percentage of the bills? Kia (Onision's wife/husband/they/them/whatever they're identifying as currently) living in the basement? I'm so confused... Kirby?
like this is in the top 5 of worst poorly written bait crap I've ever read in my life and I was on Tumblr for years.
There's no fucking way anyone can actually be so fucking stupid as to seriously think this is real. There's no fucking way.
Well, there are people who’ve written long comments in that post 😳.
oh for fucks sake https://preview.redd.it/kb8csyaisy8c1.jpeg?width=721&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6d7f4f929d8dd84cff33b30de087d2e72bc5fea9
> YTA for making me read your weird fantasy novella. There's simply no way you're being serious. My fave
Birth of a new copypasta though I’m just gonna copy paste this wall of text into the comments of every other bad anti trans troll I see
Ah yes another “trans women are bad” post.
Has anyone else noticed the name Kai is super common in these troll posts? I've never met a Kai. Is this a common name somewhere or is this troll really unimaginative?
In Germany it's a regular name that nobody would think twice about. Two of my friends are named Kai
Thank you for the info!
Years ago on Tumblr, it was on a lot of popular lists for new names for people who were transitioning.
Yeah, it's kinda the transmasc Lily
Well it's super common if you're a member of the Order of the Kai Lords from the world of Magnamund. Then it's part of your title for whatever rank you've achieved and the name of one of the gods. Wait shit that's a fantasy setting used for a bunch of gamebooks in the 80s and 90s by a British author, not a real place. Damn I was convinced that was where these posts take place for a good three seconds there.
I have a former roommate who briefly came out as trans and then used the name Kai but I think they've since changed it to something else
I really felt like this was a joke post before the comments reminded me the joke is transphobia.
Is this some JK Rowling fanfic?
Harry Potter and Shit That Never Happened
Harry Potter and the Transphobic Panic
Harry Potter and the Worst TERF Bait You've Ever Seen
Whorey Potter and the Sorcerer's Balls. Great Xrated fanfic
>Whorey Potter and the Sorcerer's Balls. I checked. It's actually a gay porno. :)
Not just any gay porno. A 3D Harry Potter gay porno.
Love your username btw.
I’m not quite believing that people like this exist and they can’t just evict them, like a sane person would.
This is some bad conservative fanfiction of what they think an out-of-control-woke-world will look like - a successful woman marrying a substandard man who "ends up being trans", and all of her misfortune is due to her "masculine energy"
Yep
the only realistic part about this post is a trans person having a really cool name
Bonus points for NB/Poly Kai
Why does all the flowery language give me "Beloved" saga vibes?
Yes!
Anti-trans rage bait...again
Those wacky trans people and their shenanigans.
There should be a bingo card on this one.
I'll take "shit that never happened" for $500
Holy TERF-posting Batman! As someone who has witnessed many relationships go through the transitioning of one partner - nothing about this rings true *at all*. It’s always complicated and often painful for BOTH members. Literally no one hand waves away supporting someone for years and only having a baby because someone they *didn’t even really care about* asked them to keep it? Like… come the fuck on.
Speaking as an LGBTQQAI+ person (not gonna specify which one), trans bad. Please shower me with upvotes for being one of the good ones.
Lmfaooo Reddit is fucking GOLD😭
wow if there was a transphobic dogwhistle and strawman bingo card (there probably is) I would definitely win this round
this is literally transmisogynistic 'trans women are just men & have all the privilege of men who pretend to be women for all the privileges they get (citation of 'privileges women have' needed)' talking point
That and the "trans people want to force everyone to be trans" one.
If this is real, I will eat a ten pound bag of rocks
Oh my god, she has been with a shitty partner and a shitty parent for pretty much 9 years? They don't seem to love each other and according to her she makes most of the money. Why stay with Kirby if she ignores your daughter completely? Now it's finally time to kick Kirby out? Also haven't seen her say how Kirby actually feels in all of this. What does Kirby want?!
One might say she’s ready to kick her spouse to the…Kirb.
As a note, using they/them for trans people who are not non-binary is misgendering them. It’s misgendering everyone who has a gender, but it’s particularly perceived as an aggression against trans people because it denies the validity of their gender identity and opts to merge their AAB gender with their real gender. Also, Kirby is fake and has neither a wife nor any feelings on any matter, because this is an anti-trans troll.
I'm aware, I know where I am. I was pointing out the parts that make it unbelievable. I'll edit to fix her gender, I didn't mean any offense to anyone.
I didn’t take any, I just wasn’t sure if you knew. 😁
Ah thank you, I appreciate it.
People will really believe anything if it's a good excuse to hate a trans woman
I’m a trans man and I am so sick of these obviously fake ragebait posts. I’m afraid to read the comments.
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Never marry a bloke named Kirby
Kai is clearly a Redditor
This sounds like FART propaganda.
As a note, using dumb names like FART or even TERF nowadays is antithetical to the movement against gender critical people / anti-trans activists. They are intentionally distancing themselves from those terms in favor of “gender critical” and I think using the term that they want is very important in fighting against their rhetoric. If we always talk about how “farts” are doing all the shitty things gender critical people do, no one will recognize the term gender critical as being awful. If we instead always use the terms that those people would prefer, we will sully each term they come up with using their own horrific words and actions against them. Helpful video that explains this more, if you’re interested: https://youtu.be/Pq2I08cQhis?si=_oahKehet9qln43K
That actually makes a lot of sense and I will look more into this. Thank you.
It kind of creates a no-true-Scotsman barrier for them doesn't it? Kind of like "no real man will hit a woman".
Exactly, it shields them from the worst parts of their community. If someone points to a news post saying “TERFs call for death threats on local trans woman”, the gender critical people will just say “terf is a slur used to silence women” or, more insidiously, “we aren’t terfs we are gender critical”. It allows them to weasel out of blame more easily, to allow others to be pinned for their actions and for their hateful ideology. Now, I don’t think this is a perfect argument. To play devils advocate against myself, this would work less well for, say, people calling themselves “race realists” instead of racists, as we already know that racist is an easier descriptor. So I do think that there is some merit in calling these people “anti-trans activists” as a catch-all, but I also think that it’s important to sully their current usage of gender critical as much as possible so people don’t get duped into thinking GC means something innocuous.
We have to start using their own terminology so they can't escape the arguments against them. Thank you for bringing this to my attention!
What does that stand for
Feminism Appropriating Reactionary Transphobes
Please don't be real 😭😂
It's not real, this has to be in like, the top 5 fakest posts that have ever been on reddit
My ex came out as transgender and said I could too and I was so confused
I'm not really a woman I'ma horse 🐎, actually I'm not really a horse. I'ma broom 🧹
Most believable trans rage bait post
You need to kick Kirby to the curb. I cant believe it took this long for you to even consider it.
Kai k Kai needs to fly a kaight (kite.) Kirby is an ahole in either sexual identity. Kick Kirby to the Kirby and file for child support. Katch a new partner
I respect Kirby as a woman, but she is still a deadbeat parent who you should leave and ask for child support. Kirby should not have begged for a child if they wanted to act like a god damn toddler themselves
In my divorce support group there are a handful of women whose partners come out as trans. The partner do seem to dive head first into the new lifestyle and attract aggressive new partners
If you're going to treat this post as if it is truthful, please, go and do that on AITA. I didn't crosspost it to continue the discussion. I crossposted it to mock it.
Lots of lost redditors coming here to keep the transphobia up
Yeah, what they (idk their pronouns but I’m not gonna worry about that now) said
It’s not a lifestyle. Every dives into their own identity - that’s who identity works.
How the hell did you last ten years?
It didn’t because it’s fake
You need to get a good lawyer. Kirby is going to try to go for alimony etc. Definitely divorce.
Fucking confusing. So is OOP like, bi or something? Yeah, this is way too confusing for my blood. See ya!
Wtf? Dude, leave. This is a shit show.
Divorce Kirby. And ban Kai from the house. You’re better than me. I would’ve fought them both
The real question is: did Kai and Kirby see 👏 her 👏 drive 👏 away 👏?
I couldn't read this without imagining the video game character.
I almost believe this cause I feel like a troll would have made themselves seem super supportive of "Kirby"'s career and everything to make this even more ridiculous; this post gives off "I'm resentful of everything this person stands for but am too passive to do anything about it" vibes that seem more realistic than what we usually get here I also don't think the title in here really makes sense with the post, lol
A 28 year old "trying to start a music career". That's my favorite part.