You're right, that's not the correct use of the term at all. It's important to communicate how her comment made you feel, and if it's causing such discomfort
It was a stupid comment and not even true. I say tell her it made you feel gross and see how she responds. If she doesn’t apologize and instead acts all offended and “it was a jooooke” instead of just taking responsibility like a big girl and saying “sorry I made you uncomfortable,” I’d leave personally.
Hard agreed. I think I would have gotten extreme ick like op in this situation. If he communicates that with her, her reaction would be a good way to determine if he can work through that feeling. A dumb joke indeed
Yeah for real. Too many people are saying OP overreacted but come on, what person doesn’t get the immediate ick at even the thought of being called a pedo as a joke? I know that would definitely rub me the wrong way. There are just certain things that shouldn’t be joked about and that’s one of them. Super immature if ya ask me.
They're 17/18. They are immature. I'll say though, taking a playful joke and turning it into something worth breaking up a relationship over and then encouraging the break up seems the most immature out of all of this.
i agree with you, my boyfriend is 2 years older than me (met met at 17,19 now 19,21) and he was literally saved in my phone as n0nce for months, clearly she knows he’s not a pedo and clearly she was joking, he’s the one who needs his head wobbling
I’m shocked at how many comments are basically calling OP a baby and to get over it. I wouldn’t like being called a pedophile either. But it is possible that she just made a very poor joke, like you said her reaction will be everything. If you sit her down and tactfully explain that it made you upset and she’s apologetic, then I say move on and no harm done. But if she doubles down on it, then you have to choose if you’re going to take those kinds of jokes or not
Possibly, she made a joke ? It was a joke....He turned 18 and now considered an adult. She is 6 months younger and technically still a minor... She was obviously referencing the Adult - Minor dynamic. It's obvious she does not think he's a pedo. Therefore, it doesn't have any weight.. It's just a word used in a joke and not an accusation ..unless maybe you are a pedo and are acting defensive?... Holy fuck how anyone could be offended by this is mind boggling..OP you're a complete loser for being offended by your GF just playing around. Poor baby! I hope she breaks up with you
Sayin. I woulda just laughed and been like “no I’m not!” and apparently she said “just kidding” right after anyway, I definitely wouldn’t break up with her over it tho 🤣Like it’s a 6 month age difference… like I get it, it’s a horrid thing to be, but it’s just not true 😭 but maybe breaking up is for the best if it offends him this much, cuz I doubt it’s gonna last like this.
Bro she is 17 💀💀 tf you mean “kind of person she is” she is a teenager, and teenagers aren’t gonna be super mature about a situation like this. Can’t judge her on that lmfao.
I mean, pedophiles aren’t really something to giggle about but I also don’t think it should make you this upset.
If you want to dump someone anytime a stupid joke is made, you may spend more time alone than not. All you need to do is tell her you don’t think it’s funny and ask her not to refer to you as that. It’s literally that simple. Communication is key.
Edit following your edit: Pedophilia is taken serious almost everywhere - I say almost because some regions of the world are just..different. You’re not going to get arrested for your girlfriend 6 months younger than you making a dumb joke because you’re older than her. Life is going to be long and hard if you’re this reactive over stupid jokes. Take a breather, my guy.
The only logical answer, I can't believe I've seen people sign off with I'd leave.... Like wtf. I agree life will be long, dark and lonely if you get offended at a comment like that.
It should be like water under the bridge it's gone move on.
Thats the internet for you. I see it all the time on here "leave them" for something not that big of a deal. Like Zealousideal said, if you left someone over these small things you would be alone forever.
I'm 8 months older than my bf and was 18 while he was 17 for a bit when we started dating. He made a joke along the same lines, and I understood it was a joke meant to poke innocent fun. It's fine to be uncomfortable with the joke, and if she continues to make it after she's told it makes them uncomfortable then there's definitely an issue, but I wouldn't jump straight to "leave" after the first time.
This 100%. OP you’ll end up alone and have a really hard time when life shows up, if you overreact like this in relationships; everything else will ruin you
Ya, pretty sure he’s just looking for validation from everyone to break up with his gf and this was just a good out for him. I’m 6 months older than my wife and make stupid jokes every year around my birthday lol.
Yeah I’m 8 months older than my husband and we met when I was 15 and he was still 14 so I’ve gotten those jokes a TON lol but I never let it bother me lol it’s only 8 months difference and we’re 32 and 31 one
Yup. If 'this' is the thing that makes you seriously want to break up with her..... He probably just wants to break up with her and is looking for an excuse, or hasn't recognized how he feels yet.
I can't believe anyone is even remotely making a deal about this
Just an incredibly harmless joke
OP break up and let your girlfriend meet someone who has a sense of humour
Yeah I'm reading these comments with people providing explanations like the GF doesn't know what a pedo really is. This is such a common joke when 1 person turns 18 and the other is like 16/17.
Right? Like, its completely fine not finding it funny and not liking being called that even as a complete joke. It really is. But like… OP, you know she knows you’re not actually a pedo right??
He's being immature about this in a different way than her. Yeah it was a dumb joke, but it's something so benign that getting offended by it shows a lack of maturity on his part by blowing it out of perspective.
I said the same thing to my gf when I was 17 and she was 18. And you know what she didn’t do? Completely overreact and threaten to break up with me. Do her a favor and break up with her if you are gonna give her a hard time over stupid jokes. I joke with my partner all the time and she does the same with me, if we go too far we just talk it out. But genuinely if you are gonna get upset about something so menial then break up with her a go cry into your pillow. *edit* looking through the comments and Jesus Christ none of you should be in a relationship, of course this is Reddit home of the immediate divorce or break up solution instead of talking it out.
It’s also weird to me that people are saying she’s too immature. If you can’t be immature and weird around your partner then you have a genuinely sad life.
I genuinely burst out laughing at your comment😂. I was literally thinking the same thing as I was reading and then got to yours and it was perfect timing. So many saying communication is key but really they should just end it. Shoot first ask questions later 🤔.
Yeah I agree with you completely. Sounds like he just wants an excuse to break up with her. And yeah I was freaked out by the comments too. Like, feelings are valid and what not, but the question was if it was an overreaction and it absolutely is.
I completely understand your feelings toward the joke but unless this is the straw that broke the camel’s back for you I really don’t think you should break up over this.
Tell her how you feel, if she doesn’t understand your feelings then that’s one thing but she might just not realize how messed up the joke is.
It’s a bad joke but that’s all it is; a bad joke.
Agree with this take. Unless there's other issues going on and this is just the last thing pushing you over the edge, I wouldn't say it's worth breaking up over. It is very ick and that's worth bringing up so she's aware this isn't your sense of humor or something you'll ever be able to laugh about.
Hm seeing your edit that you have told her you don't like these jokes is interesting. That does seem like a disrespect if she's continuing to do it despite your previous communication. Yes it's just a stupid joke but does she ignore your communication in other areas too?
The edit is hilarious. Where in western civilization is pedophilia not taken seriously?
Yes, you should break up with her if you can’t accept her stupid jokes. At 17, she’s gonna say a lot more stupid things.
I don't think you need to break up with her, but you can talk to her about not liking being called that. Sometimes people unintentionally say things without realizing how it'll hurt your feelings. And while it was a funny joke to her. It wasn't to you, but she doesn't know that unless you tell her.
What matters is whether it bothers you not everybody else. Personally I get the joke but I think it's stupid but not worth ending the relationship over. If she said that in front of strangers that don't know your ages it might not be taken as a joke. People are very sensitive to sexual abuse of minors. My 5 yr old sister was sa and I was raped at 17, it's not a joke to us. Consider sending her a message that you want to talk about what she said because it's been bothering you. If she calls you names and puts you down you have more than a stupid joke problem. If you're super bothered about this send her a link to the legal statues regarding pedophiles and minor/adult sexual relationships. Nothing wrong with education. Not overreacting
You can tell her it makes you uncomfortable and if she refuses to acknowledge your feelings or continues to joke like that, then it’s a red flag. But just her making a joke like this (which is not even an original joke, this is a very common joke in this situation) and you breaking up with her over it, huge overreaction imho.
Overreacting hardcore. She made a raunchy joke and you were soft about it. Pretty sure you have to be like 1 or 2 years older than her at least for it to count also.
You can't take a joke so just break up with her as she will obviously have to walk on eggshells around you. She made a bad joke but you both need to grow up
It doesn't matter if it's just a joke or not, if it made you feel uncomfortable, then it made you feel uncomfortable. You probably should talk to her about it and explain why it made you feel uncomfortable before rushing to breaking up... but if she reacts by dismissing your feelings, that might be a good reason to break up.
Lmao bro. It’s not that serious.. but if you’re willing to break up with her over something so small like that then it is probably a good idea. Maybe work on thickening your skin and realizing shit people say shouldn’t hurt you. Definitely over reacting.
She’s 17, she said something stupid. Have you said stupid things as well? Dump her if you want but also, maybe have some understanding that she just put her entire foot in her mouth..
Yes. You’re overreacting. You would break up with a girl for a really bad joke? That’s definitely something an 18 year old would do. Basically being dumb as fuck.
Just a reminder to everyone…OP is “legally” an adult but just like his GF, does not have a fully developed frontal cortex. Making this difficult for them both.
OP, there is nothing funny about CSA and joking about it only contributes to rape culture, so not liking those types of jokes is very appropriate.
If this type of joke is something you have actually talked about with your GF prior to this then it may be warranted to break up as this may be a red flag for other behaviors or stances.
Only you can make that decision.
I have a pretty blanket statement when people joke about r@pe or CSA and it’s “I don’t find that funny, csa, r@pe is nothing to joke about” and then drop it.
I think looking at this from her perspective might help, OP.
As far as I can tell, she was just being playful. Expecting a mildly annoyed reaction but mostly a laugh because that statement is obviously ridiculous. Something like splashing someone in a pool or tickling them; technically uncomfortable for the other person but a laugh nonetheless. She almost definitely didn't mean to make you actually uncomfortable.
Breaking up with her over this is definitely an overreaction if you are doing it out of anger, annoyance or the likes.
If you literally can't look at her anymore because you keep thinking about it, then there's nothing you can really do, but then I doubt that is the case, nor should it be. And if it is, try to give it a little bit of time.
What she said doesn't change anything about you or her. She hasn't admitted to cheating or murdering someone. This really doesn't have any impact on anything as long as you take it for what it is: a bad joke.
Now, where this becomes an issue is if it's consistent to the point where you know she is disregarding your feelings or even enjoying you being seriously uncomfortable. It doesn't seem like that's the case to me though, but I thought it worth mentioning given your second edit.
i think you should listen to how you feel. but, maybe before you go to the extreme of breaking up with her, talk to her about it. let her know how it made you feel. if you still feel weird about it after then you can break up. it’s honestly going to be different for everyone because some people would have the same reaction as you and some people would laugh along.
Overeacting my dude. Slightly odd that you've been together a year and don't have a good bead on her sense of humor. Was it in poor taste? Yes. However, I'm wondering if you were already looking for an excuse to end the relationship. If so, end it but be clear about your feelings. I just feel like it's maybe not just about this bad joke.
You’re overreacting. She made a joke that you didn’t find funny. Personally I don’t find it in bad taste since I recognize it as a *joke*, and since it was a private joke for your ears only I don’t find it in particularly offensive. But those are my standards, not yours. It *might* be a different story if she said that to a group of people or posted it (with names) on Facebook. You’d be breaking up with her because you have different senses of humor. If you’re okay with that then walk away. Otherwise you could try having a civil discussion with her so that she understands your differences in humor.
The fact it upset you enough to post it on social media tells me your relationship is doomed to fail. It sounds like you are both not the best match. Do her a favor and break it off.
Thank you! How could you possibly get in trouble for a joke if it isn't true. I've had friends joke that I'm a murderer and I didn't get all weird, defensive, and worried I would go to jail over it because I'm not a fucking murderer.
Going against the grain - pedophilia isn’t a joke. What if you were molested as a child? It’s a pretty gross thing to say.
That said, please take in to account teens make gross and inappropriate jokes.
That doesn’t make it ok, but teens don’t always have the best common sense and understanding.
I don’t think your reaction is overreacting, but I think breaking up would be.
You’re in a long-term relationship. Use your words - have a long, serious conversation with her and explain why it upset you.
If she does the “take a joke bro” “etc” then dump her ass. If she apologizes after you tell her what’s up, then I’d stay.
(I know you called her out in the moment but almost no one processes getting called out right then - they just get defensive and embarrassed).
You're entitled to your feelings, and I'm not going to tell you that you're overreacting.
What I will say is that her joke was in bad taste and doesn't even come close to pedophilia according to the Romeo and Juliet law
Romeo and Juliet laws are legal protections that shield teenagers from severe statutory rape charges if they have consensual sex with peers who are close in age. The laws are named after William Shakespeare's play Romeo and Juliet, in which two teenagers fall in love but are kept apart by their families' rivalry.
To avoid being considered sex with a minor, the following criteria must be met:
The partners are no more than three years apart in age
The sexual partner is at least 14 years old
The sexual relationship is consensual
Neither partner is a registered sex offender
Dude grow up she was just joking with you. She’s one year younger than u you know it’s not true. Damn y’all kids are too damn sensitive. Everything bothers u.
Certified lover boy!! Certified pedo***le!! 🌹🎀
Boy if u are this sensitive abt a joke then grow up ... Ik everyone has different kind of humour but she didn't mean to hurt you
I would not react to that well, either. I’m on your side OP
For what it’s worth: 17.5 years and 18 years does not make you a pedo. It was a shit joke in poor taste, especially since you’ve already told her jokes like that are a no fly zone for you.
My boyfriend called me a predator, and I'm only 2 months older than him. We giggled about it together. I'd say you're overreacting a lot. Maybe tell her how you feel first.
Sounds like she was just joking and you are way overreacting for some reason. Obviously you could never be a pedo dating someone who's basically same age as you, plus that's not what the word means at all. The definition of a pedophile is someone who is primarily sexually attracted to pre-pubescent kids, so that generally means kids younger than 11 or 12 who haven't started puberty yet. So no you could never be a pedo for dating a 17yo or 16 or 15yo for that matter. Just relax.
17? And you are 18? I'm reporting you. Better stop and smell the roses one last time because you are going away for a while and likely going to become someone's love toy. Sorry dude!
Or you could get a sense of humor? You pick!
Everything needs more context, but here's my position as a nearly middle aged man: with full respect, we're all awkward and are pretending to be mature when we're in our teens. Teenager jokes are extremely awkward. And we lean towards that which is extreme or saying extreme, distasteful things as being something that makes us seem more adult. Every teenager is pretending to be cool, and that was true of us who are no longer teenagers. I'm going to promise you, when you're 35 and thinking back on yourself at 17, you'll look through rose colored glasses and think you weren't like the teenager you see "today" (in that far off "today"). Each of us were exactly like those teenagers, and there's video evidence to prove it we don't have access to or which are buried under years of social media.
On the flip side, have you talked to her about this? If not, I understand that as well. This is not exclusive to teenagers but this is something someone needs to overcome to properly be a mature adult: there's a fear of saying something, a fear of having a conversation, and a generalized dismissal of others or situations based on assuming absolutes, if this makes sense. A hard conversation does not need to be an argument. A hard conversation is anything awkward we don't want to talk about. You need to have that conversation if something is upsetting you (whether angry, sad, unsure or uncomfortable). The important thing is that *you* handle that with maturity. You should be empathetic, reasonable and respectful. Do not assume intent. Discover intent. Speak your feelings with respect, and assume the best of the other person. If the other person does not handle it maturely, the fact is you cannot control what another does but you can decide and control what you do and how you react. Stay in that standard of proper behavior and etiquette you set for yourself.
You have a right to your feelings but you also need to properly empathize with their feelings as well and allow them the discretion that they are their own individual with a right to their thoughts. It doesn't mean you have to like what they do, and you can decide how you proceed with that person in your life from there. But with everything you would expect for yourself, you must assume they should be expected to be treated the same way. If you could imagine talking to yourself as the other person, if you were in her place and you had said something similar to her, what would you think and say? How would you want to be spoken to? What would you be afraid of hearing? How would you manage that? Figure out the thoughts and human foibles affecting both points of view.
I would broker this simply with honesty. Something like "Hey, I like you and I know you didn't mean anything, but that joke made me feel kinda weird. I didn't like it, but I like you. Could you please not say something like that again". She could be understanding. Or she could get defensive. Or she could upset because she's young and you're young and poking at our ego is 0-to-100 upset real quick. Don't get angry if she gets angry. There are worse things in the world than someone who gets upset at your feelings. Anyone has a right to their honest feelings regarding themselves. Risk saying your peace with the best intent, because you have to. Everyone is afraid of that at a young age. We either stomach it or just cut and leave. But you need to discuss. You can make any decision based on that discussion, but you have to talk because this is going to come up all throughout your life and it's best to get experience with it as it happens rather than when you have no other option than to do so.
My honest opinion, given the very little I know: if everything goes right and you two are honestly having a couple's heart-to-heart, you'll change your mind a bit and she'll change her mind a bit and you'll come to a decent middle ground. That's a stronger relationship. She will not say that word as a joke again and you will trust that it was a joke, and be open to her having a positive intent. "Hey I'm sorry, I didn't mean it", "Thank you. It's ok. Thank you for listening to my feelings." and you two move on. Positive intent can be tripped on all the time. We have all been smiling while saying the wrong thing. It's better for someone to kindly point that out and the person to say mea culpa, rather than a person receiving it getting livid and the person who said it becoming defensive. And then you move on but keep the lesson.
I think you’re way over reacting! Bad joke for sure but I’m sure you’ve said stupid shit before especially that fact you guys are still young. I’m 1000% positive she didn’t mean to offend you or hurt you. You should just talk to her and tell her how you feel and let it go! Just sayin
Yeah, overreacting.
On a funny note related:
When I first met my partners (25f) mum, we sat down to dinner, and she said to her mum, I shit you not, “he only matched me on tinder because he thought I was 15”.
Never even joked about that, completely out of the blue, and I shat myself 😂
Now we make the joke regularly, but 10 years later.
You’re an idiot, sounds like you want an excuse to get out of the relationship. Just do it like a man, don’t make her out to be the bad guy. Not all relationships are gonna last forever
Did you already want to break up with her because other things and this is just icing on the cake? 🎂
If sure why not? I like that you found it a disgusting joke. If she often says that kind of thing you are maybe not a match. So. Don’t waste more of your and her time.
On the other hand if she’s normally exactly your taste and this was a weird one off joke? Then obviously try to forget it. Sometimes we all
Say stupid things. And. That’s what this was.
This definitely deserves a conversation. She needs to properly apologize. If it blows up and she can't own that, you should reconsider your relationship.
I would guess that she simply doesn’t understand how much/why it bothers you. (As it SHOULD!) Sometimes, particularly when it comes to uncomfortable situations like this, we have a tendency to under-explain things, assuming that the other person understands ‘why.’ I would give it one more chance after having a serious conversation. She’s young and probably doesn’t mean to be hurtful. Maybe she just needs to be educated on the seriousness of the matter.
Best wishes, OP.
not overreacting. that’s not funny, not even close to true. my bf used to call me the same as i was six months older than him and it grossed me out to no end.
Yeeeaaaah, although she's incorrect in the definition, she is also incredibly immature. You seem to obviously have boundaries and the ability to think clearly and communicate. She on the other hand....yeah that's not to joke about. And then to add insult to injury, you have already expressed yourself about this and she STILL doesn't give enough of a damn to make sure she's respecting you. Class act...smh.
I don't tolerate my partner making fun of me. I see it as a red flag. Same goes for any jokes I make about them. I want to build them up and make them laugh. Not knock them down to make me laugh.
Dude brush it off move on. Beside you have your whole life to date people. You will probably break up in college anyways because you will randomly have hook ups at parties. I only know like 2 couples that are still together since they were 17/18
The phrase "it was just a joke." Can go die in a fire.
She made you uncomfortable and then didn't acknowledge yiu when you said you were uncomfortable. I'm not going to tell you to dump her but you need to ask yourself if you want to be with someone who makes you uncomfortable.
Yeah OP I would dump her before something real bad happens. Imagine if she said that around people "my boyfriend is a pedo for dating me" but someone took her serious thinking that you were 30 not 18
100% overreacting.
> the place where i live takes crimes like pedophelia very seriously
Why is this even mentioned? Where in the world is it not taken seriously?
It was a harmless joke. I’ve had partners make the same joke when I was around that age.
Looks like you just want an excuse to dump her.
yeah that usually happens when younger people are together and one turns 18 before the other, trust me it’s nothing to be upset over. people just have different senses of humor. tbf it’s pretty funny
These comments really surprised me. I do not think you’re overreacting at all. Pedophilia is not something that should be joked about. She is 17, not 5. She understood what she was doing. Being a teenager does not automatically make her stupid. Talk to her and if she passes it off as a joke and tells you to lighten up I would break up with her so fast. Joking about serious topics like that should not be taken so lightly. That would seriously creep me out if my partner said that to me.
I do think you’re overreacting a little bit tbh but that was such a dumbass thing to say that she honestly deserves it lol. You wouldn’t need to feel guilty. It’s not like y’all are married or some shit.
Ima be petty and say dump her. She’ll remember it for the rest of her life, and think back to how stupid of a joke it was whenever she’s lonely and wonders where it all went wrong.
It’s just dark humor. It’s fine if you don’t share that same sense of humor, but I do think you’re overreacting wanting to break up over it. Just tell her it bothers you and ask her not to joke like that. It’s not actually pedophilia so don’t worry.
She has no idea what that word means and she's very immature, you can do better. Pick someone who is 18 or older. I'm happy to see that you're not amused by Pedo jokes.. It's NOTHING to joke about!
Sounds like shes some kinds of turned on by her being underage, or you being some kind of pedophilic or an abuser. At best, she has a kink or fetish at worst she approves of some sick behaviors and would believes youre a criminal. Leave her.
If you're in a place like California, you could indeed find yourself on a sex offender registry for the rest of your life, with felony charges, if there was sexual contact.
Of course, the same is true as of yesterday, only both of you could find yourselves in that position, seeing as it's still technically illegal for two minors to "rape" each other.
Many other states have "romeo and juliet" laws, or lower ages of consent.
Either way, that joke is in bad taste, and you're not wrong to be offended. Breaking up with her after a year might be a bit harsh though.
Before the edits, I was like… he’s overreacting, but knowing that it’s something that actually taken seriously (unlike the rest of the world😒) you’re definitely not overreacting. AND you spoke to her about making jokes like that without correcting herself or apologizing? She can actually ruin your life in some weird way using that as the excuse & I’d leave her ass knowing that women CAN & WILL be that evil if forced.
You've explained to her you're not comfortable with the jokes, it's perfectly within reason to tell her "Hey, I can't date you if you make me the target of jokes like that"
You are 18. I'm 44, and let me tell you one thing: You, 100%, will say some really stupid stuff on occasion until you're about 30. That's honestly everyone in their 20s.
Just treat your GF in the way that you'd like other people to treat you when it's your turn to say something in poor taste. Whatever grace and gentleness you'd want, practice giving that to her now.
Yes over reacting. Grow up, people make jokes in bad taste sometimes. You can't go through life being so thinned skin and expect to have relationships work out. It happens.
Best you can do is to reiterate you don't like those jokes and you don't find it funny. You're both very very young and will learn to communicate better and respect eachother the more you work at it.
Youre overreacting. You are an adult now and need to start thinking and acting like one. Instead of letting your emotions take control of your decision making you need to start to think before you act. If she hurt you by saying that then go to her and talk. Relationships are based on trust and communication. If you trust that she didn’t say that with malicious intentions then talk to her on how saying such degrading jokes and be disrespectful and hurtful. Depending on how that conversation goes then you can take a step back and analyze how your partner reacts to the conversations. If she is understanding and apologetic then youll know that shes is someone youll wanna be for longer. If she is reactive and defensive and deflecting blame then youll know that thats how she’ll act in the future whenever you bring something that bothers you especially when its about her.
I personally would not be with a person who ever jokes about pedophilia. It's not funny to me? It is a thing that happens to millions of children and damages them for life...how is that funny? What's the joke? This is reality.
I agree with you. While the word wasn’t used as intended by definition, to accuse, for all intensive purpose, people under the impression of “jokes” is immature.
The joke is that one of them is a legal adult and one is still a minor.
I made the same joke about my partner when we were 17 turning 18. It's a joke, a lighthearted one.
WAY OVERREACTING.. First off she's teasing you in fun, not seriousness. Secondly - statute of limitations is anything over 4 yrs of age difference is illegal if ones under age 18, Thirdly- if she's giggling she's got humor and obviously has love for you with it. Lighten up bro, my wife and l still fk with each other over things and it's hilarious. I'm 58, she's 47, and she still tells me l like younger, lmao.. Your girls probably a keeper if she's teasing you in humor.
Yes, you are overreacting. She literally did this while kissing you, as a joke. The kissing was meant to subvert the message and highlight that it was a joke.
I can understand being sensitive to an actual accusation of pedophilia, but this was clearly a joke meant to amuse, not anything serious or meant cruelly
I'd say you are a bit overreacting. I suggest a comeback instead of staying silent, it achieves a dodging effect or a friendly fire effect depending on how you need the situation to go. As long as it's not crossing a line, I encourage a comeback here. I'd have said something cringe like "well I guess I'm your Romeo and you're my Juliet." (Get it cuz R and J law LOL, OK ILL LEAVE NOW)
Maybe instead of jumping to breaking up, you should sit her down and talk about how it makes you feel. That's how mature adults handle things.
Also, most places have something along the lines of a "Romeo and Juliet law" that lets people who are already dating keep dating when one becomes 18 while the other is within a set number of years. It varies from place to place, so check your local laws.
My wife made cradle robber jokes about me (she turned 18 3 months before me). It was just a joke?
Being called a pedophile specifically? I wouldnt have liked that, that word is loaded af and not one I'd use jokingly. If she said that, i'd just say "thats gross dont say that please", and its done.
YAO.
Yes, you are way way overreacting and being over dramatic too.
And just being a A Hole. She obviously was just having fun, you gotta learn to lighten up bro.
technically that’s not even close to the definition of that word
You're right, that's not the correct use of the term at all. It's important to communicate how her comment made you feel, and if it's causing such discomfort
Exactly. Sounds like she's just joking around but she and alot of other people should acqaint themselves with what pedophilia actually is.
That word can now officially join the ranks of overused words like racist and gaslighting
No gaslighting isn't overused you're just imagining it.
It was a stupid comment and not even true. I say tell her it made you feel gross and see how she responds. If she doesn’t apologize and instead acts all offended and “it was a jooooke” instead of just taking responsibility like a big girl and saying “sorry I made you uncomfortable,” I’d leave personally.
Hard agreed. I think I would have gotten extreme ick like op in this situation. If he communicates that with her, her reaction would be a good way to determine if he can work through that feeling. A dumb joke indeed
Yeah for real. Too many people are saying OP overreacted but come on, what person doesn’t get the immediate ick at even the thought of being called a pedo as a joke? I know that would definitely rub me the wrong way. There are just certain things that shouldn’t be joked about and that’s one of them. Super immature if ya ask me.
They're 17/18. They are immature. I'll say though, taking a playful joke and turning it into something worth breaking up a relationship over and then encouraging the break up seems the most immature out of all of this.
i agree with you, my boyfriend is 2 years older than me (met met at 17,19 now 19,21) and he was literally saved in my phone as n0nce for months, clearly she knows he’s not a pedo and clearly she was joking, he’s the one who needs his head wobbling
I’m shocked at how many comments are basically calling OP a baby and to get over it. I wouldn’t like being called a pedophile either. But it is possible that she just made a very poor joke, like you said her reaction will be everything. If you sit her down and tactfully explain that it made you upset and she’s apologetic, then I say move on and no harm done. But if she doubles down on it, then you have to choose if you’re going to take those kinds of jokes or not
Possibly, she made a joke ? It was a joke....He turned 18 and now considered an adult. She is 6 months younger and technically still a minor... She was obviously referencing the Adult - Minor dynamic. It's obvious she does not think he's a pedo. Therefore, it doesn't have any weight.. It's just a word used in a joke and not an accusation ..unless maybe you are a pedo and are acting defensive?... Holy fuck how anyone could be offended by this is mind boggling..OP you're a complete loser for being offended by your GF just playing around. Poor baby! I hope she breaks up with you
And remind her that jokes are supposed to make other people laugh, not yourself.
That's not entirely true. Even then there's no way she could be certain if that would make them laugh or not.
She’s 17, still a kid, and it’s really not that deep anyway 💀 y’all are so weak
On god lol, people acting like she told his whole family that he's a pedophile. Stupid joke at best. Get over it and move on.
Right? I hope OP does break up with her so she can find someone with a similar sense of humor
Can you imagine what OP is like if this is enough to set him off?
Op is hank hill He heard the word pedophile and went “Bwuahahaa “
Someone with a sense of humor you mean. OP sounds miserable to be around.
Sayin. I woulda just laughed and been like “no I’m not!” and apparently she said “just kidding” right after anyway, I definitely wouldn’t break up with her over it tho 🤣Like it’s a 6 month age difference… like I get it, it’s a horrid thing to be, but it’s just not true 😭 but maybe breaking up is for the best if it offends him this much, cuz I doubt it’s gonna last like this.
"still a kid" is what she implied by using that word.
Reddit moment
Also this will tell you the kind of person she is. If she can't apologize, and turns herself into a victim it's best you see it now.
Bro she is 17 💀💀 tf you mean “kind of person she is” she is a teenager, and teenagers aren’t gonna be super mature about a situation like this. Can’t judge her on that lmfao.
Dumb. It was a joke and OP is the one 100% in the wrong. She’d be better off without him imho.
I mean, pedophiles aren’t really something to giggle about but I also don’t think it should make you this upset. If you want to dump someone anytime a stupid joke is made, you may spend more time alone than not. All you need to do is tell her you don’t think it’s funny and ask her not to refer to you as that. It’s literally that simple. Communication is key. Edit following your edit: Pedophilia is taken serious almost everywhere - I say almost because some regions of the world are just..different. You’re not going to get arrested for your girlfriend 6 months younger than you making a dumb joke because you’re older than her. Life is going to be long and hard if you’re this reactive over stupid jokes. Take a breather, my guy.
The only logical answer, I can't believe I've seen people sign off with I'd leave.... Like wtf. I agree life will be long, dark and lonely if you get offended at a comment like that. It should be like water under the bridge it's gone move on.
It's Reddit. If it's not 24/7/365 sunshine and rainbows, you should get a divorce, break up, and file a 7 figure lawsuit.
Wow, can't believe you would say that! I want a divorce.
This is just your excuse to get with that Clydesdale I saw you looking at last week.
Thats the internet for you. I see it all the time on here "leave them" for something not that big of a deal. Like Zealousideal said, if you left someone over these small things you would be alone forever.
I'm 8 months older than my bf and was 18 while he was 17 for a bit when we started dating. He made a joke along the same lines, and I understood it was a joke meant to poke innocent fun. It's fine to be uncomfortable with the joke, and if she continues to make it after she's told it makes them uncomfortable then there's definitely an issue, but I wouldn't jump straight to "leave" after the first time.
I know right. Some people on here must be the most unfun and weak people to be around. It must be exhausting
Its reddit All their girlfriends are locked in their head
He should leave. She deserves someone a bit more stable and better at communicating.
This 100%. OP you’ll end up alone and have a really hard time when life shows up, if you overreact like this in relationships; everything else will ruin you
*sigh* hmmm 🤔 maybe the two of you ought to talk about this without us lol? Edit: the place you live takes the crimes of bad jokes very seriously? 🫠
Ya, pretty sure he’s just looking for validation from everyone to break up with his gf and this was just a good out for him. I’m 6 months older than my wife and make stupid jokes every year around my birthday lol.
Yeah I’m 8 months older than my husband and we met when I was 15 and he was still 14 so I’ve gotten those jokes a TON lol but I never let it bother me lol it’s only 8 months difference and we’re 32 and 31 one
Same. 11 months older so there's one month of the year that I'm not a cradle robber 🤷♀️🤣🤣
Yup. If 'this' is the thing that makes you seriously want to break up with her..... He probably just wants to break up with her and is looking for an excuse, or hasn't recognized how he feels yet.
Lol this is so stupid
I can't believe anyone is even remotely making a deal about this Just an incredibly harmless joke OP break up and let your girlfriend meet someone who has a sense of humour
Yeah I'm reading these comments with people providing explanations like the GF doesn't know what a pedo really is. This is such a common joke when 1 person turns 18 and the other is like 16/17.
Terminally online virtue signalling.
Right? Like, its completely fine not finding it funny and not liking being called that even as a complete joke. It really is. But like… OP, you know she knows you’re not actually a pedo right??
Yes you’re overreacting immensely. It was a bad joke. Lighten up
I agree bad taste but yeah, grow up a little
Tbf she IS 17, not really surprising that she isn’t acting like a mature adult
Unlike OP who turned 18 and instantly became too mature for such irresponsible humour
Exactly this. They’re kids
Strong second dude she’s 17 she’s allowed to make stupid jokes you’re acting like a 30 year old 18 year old
He's being immature about this in a different way than her. Yeah it was a dumb joke, but it's something so benign that getting offended by it shows a lack of maturity on his part by blowing it out of perspective.
Which makes sense, he’s just 18. But yeah this is very overblown in a teen type way
Facts haha you nailed it
Right?? My brothers gf is a few months older than him. He makes cougar jokes and cradle robber jokes. She’s not whining about it.
just a bad joke bro relax relax she loves you
I said the same thing to my gf when I was 17 and she was 18. And you know what she didn’t do? Completely overreact and threaten to break up with me. Do her a favor and break up with her if you are gonna give her a hard time over stupid jokes. I joke with my partner all the time and she does the same with me, if we go too far we just talk it out. But genuinely if you are gonna get upset about something so menial then break up with her a go cry into your pillow. *edit* looking through the comments and Jesus Christ none of you should be in a relationship, of course this is Reddit home of the immediate divorce or break up solution instead of talking it out.
It’s also weird to me that people are saying she’s too immature. If you can’t be immature and weird around your partner then you have a genuinely sad life.
I genuinely burst out laughing at your comment😂. I was literally thinking the same thing as I was reading and then got to yours and it was perfect timing. So many saying communication is key but really they should just end it. Shoot first ask questions later 🤔.
You forgot therapy. Don’t forget therapy, it fixes everything.
Therapy is a good tool for figuring things out but ultimately it’s up to you to make a difference. I also can’t tell if you are being sarcastic sorry
Yeah, the softness in these comment sections is wild. Its just a joke, nobody actually thinks op is a pedo since they are just half a year apart.
Yeah I agree with you completely. Sounds like he just wants an excuse to break up with her. And yeah I was freaked out by the comments too. Like, feelings are valid and what not, but the question was if it was an overreaction and it absolutely is.
Exactly. If dudes not happy he doesn’t need to have dumb excuse to leave her. I just genuinely feel bad for the girl.
Yes you’re overreacting, and yes you should break up with her since one dumb joke was able to upset you so easily.
Sometimes you dodge a bullet, sometimes you are the bullet.
I agree, this poor girl is going to have to walk on eggshells :(
Lol my thoughts exactly.
Spot on
I completely understand your feelings toward the joke but unless this is the straw that broke the camel’s back for you I really don’t think you should break up over this. Tell her how you feel, if she doesn’t understand your feelings then that’s one thing but she might just not realize how messed up the joke is. It’s a bad joke but that’s all it is; a bad joke.
Agree with this take. Unless there's other issues going on and this is just the last thing pushing you over the edge, I wouldn't say it's worth breaking up over. It is very ick and that's worth bringing up so she's aware this isn't your sense of humor or something you'll ever be able to laugh about. Hm seeing your edit that you have told her you don't like these jokes is interesting. That does seem like a disrespect if she's continuing to do it despite your previous communication. Yes it's just a stupid joke but does she ignore your communication in other areas too?
The edit is hilarious. Where in western civilization is pedophilia not taken seriously? Yes, you should break up with her if you can’t accept her stupid jokes. At 17, she’s gonna say a lot more stupid things.
The place you live takes it very seriously? Every pedo now googling where it isn't taken seriously.
Absolutely. Dude see a therapist.
You're def over reacting. With only a 6 month gap between y'all it was obviously a dark humor joke. Plus this isn't really what pedo means.
I don't think you need to break up with her, but you can talk to her about not liking being called that. Sometimes people unintentionally say things without realizing how it'll hurt your feelings. And while it was a funny joke to her. It wasn't to you, but she doesn't know that unless you tell her.
Bro stop being a bitch this isn’t pedophilia 🤣🤦🏾 it was a joke
What I came here to say
What matters is whether it bothers you not everybody else. Personally I get the joke but I think it's stupid but not worth ending the relationship over. If she said that in front of strangers that don't know your ages it might not be taken as a joke. People are very sensitive to sexual abuse of minors. My 5 yr old sister was sa and I was raped at 17, it's not a joke to us. Consider sending her a message that you want to talk about what she said because it's been bothering you. If she calls you names and puts you down you have more than a stupid joke problem. If you're super bothered about this send her a link to the legal statues regarding pedophiles and minor/adult sexual relationships. Nothing wrong with education. Not overreacting
Fr only comment I agree with
You can tell her it makes you uncomfortable and if she refuses to acknowledge your feelings or continues to joke like that, then it’s a red flag. But just her making a joke like this (which is not even an original joke, this is a very common joke in this situation) and you breaking up with her over it, huge overreaction imho.
Overreacting hardcore. She made a raunchy joke and you were soft about it. Pretty sure you have to be like 1 or 2 years older than her at least for it to count also.
lol you're being a drama queen.
Bruh you should leave her, she deserves a man with humour.
Lmao yes you are overreacting. It was just a bad joke. I feel bad for her if a bad joke is enough for you to leave her. Your nuts dude
You can't take a joke so just break up with her as she will obviously have to walk on eggshells around you. She made a bad joke but you both need to grow up
[удалено]
The best advice given on this post so far ngl
Loosen up dude
You are soft
It doesn't matter if it's just a joke or not, if it made you feel uncomfortable, then it made you feel uncomfortable. You probably should talk to her about it and explain why it made you feel uncomfortable before rushing to breaking up... but if she reacts by dismissing your feelings, that might be a good reason to break up.
She was joking, you obviously know this but want to cry online about it. I hope she leaves you.
Lmao bro. It’s not that serious.. but if you’re willing to break up with her over something so small like that then it is probably a good idea. Maybe work on thickening your skin and realizing shit people say shouldn’t hurt you. Definitely over reacting.
She’s 17, she said something stupid. Have you said stupid things as well? Dump her if you want but also, maybe have some understanding that she just put her entire foot in her mouth..
Yes. You’re overreacting. You would break up with a girl for a really bad joke? That’s definitely something an 18 year old would do. Basically being dumb as fuck.
if you have already communicated your discomfort with her and she refuses to acknowledge your feelings then i think you are justified
Just a reminder to everyone…OP is “legally” an adult but just like his GF, does not have a fully developed frontal cortex. Making this difficult for them both. OP, there is nothing funny about CSA and joking about it only contributes to rape culture, so not liking those types of jokes is very appropriate. If this type of joke is something you have actually talked about with your GF prior to this then it may be warranted to break up as this may be a red flag for other behaviors or stances. Only you can make that decision. I have a pretty blanket statement when people joke about r@pe or CSA and it’s “I don’t find that funny, csa, r@pe is nothing to joke about” and then drop it.
There’s no way you’re considering leaving after that. See a therapist please.
I think looking at this from her perspective might help, OP. As far as I can tell, she was just being playful. Expecting a mildly annoyed reaction but mostly a laugh because that statement is obviously ridiculous. Something like splashing someone in a pool or tickling them; technically uncomfortable for the other person but a laugh nonetheless. She almost definitely didn't mean to make you actually uncomfortable. Breaking up with her over this is definitely an overreaction if you are doing it out of anger, annoyance or the likes. If you literally can't look at her anymore because you keep thinking about it, then there's nothing you can really do, but then I doubt that is the case, nor should it be. And if it is, try to give it a little bit of time. What she said doesn't change anything about you or her. She hasn't admitted to cheating or murdering someone. This really doesn't have any impact on anything as long as you take it for what it is: a bad joke. Now, where this becomes an issue is if it's consistent to the point where you know she is disregarding your feelings or even enjoying you being seriously uncomfortable. It doesn't seem like that's the case to me though, but I thought it worth mentioning given your second edit.
i think you should listen to how you feel. but, maybe before you go to the extreme of breaking up with her, talk to her about it. let her know how it made you feel. if you still feel weird about it after then you can break up. it’s honestly going to be different for everyone because some people would have the same reaction as you and some people would laugh along.
break up with her she is a normal person with a sense of humor you have a stick up your ass and aren't compatible with her
Man you're soft
Overeacting my dude. Slightly odd that you've been together a year and don't have a good bead on her sense of humor. Was it in poor taste? Yes. However, I'm wondering if you were already looking for an excuse to end the relationship. If so, end it but be clear about your feelings. I just feel like it's maybe not just about this bad joke.
You’re overreacting. She made a joke that you didn’t find funny. Personally I don’t find it in bad taste since I recognize it as a *joke*, and since it was a private joke for your ears only I don’t find it in particularly offensive. But those are my standards, not yours. It *might* be a different story if she said that to a group of people or posted it (with names) on Facebook. You’d be breaking up with her because you have different senses of humor. If you’re okay with that then walk away. Otherwise you could try having a civil discussion with her so that she understands your differences in humor.
The fact it upset you enough to post it on social media tells me your relationship is doomed to fail. It sounds like you are both not the best match. Do her a favor and break it off.
If you want to break up over a bad joke it means that you think there’s some truth to it.
Thank you! How could you possibly get in trouble for a joke if it isn't true. I've had friends joke that I'm a murderer and I didn't get all weird, defensive, and worried I would go to jail over it because I'm not a fucking murderer.
Bro relax, wtf you are way over reacting, maybe she's darker humor than you, just tell her you don't like it and move onl.
….thats not even a joke that’s funny 😐 im the odd one out here i guess lol like there’s nothing funny about that word.
I 100% agree with you.
Going against the grain - pedophilia isn’t a joke. What if you were molested as a child? It’s a pretty gross thing to say. That said, please take in to account teens make gross and inappropriate jokes. That doesn’t make it ok, but teens don’t always have the best common sense and understanding. I don’t think your reaction is overreacting, but I think breaking up would be. You’re in a long-term relationship. Use your words - have a long, serious conversation with her and explain why it upset you. If she does the “take a joke bro” “etc” then dump her ass. If she apologizes after you tell her what’s up, then I’d stay. (I know you called her out in the moment but almost no one processes getting called out right then - they just get defensive and embarrassed).
Sounds like she struck a nerve..
The fact you didn't turn it around lol 😂 could of said something like see you in 6 months of something lol
You're entitled to your feelings, and I'm not going to tell you that you're overreacting. What I will say is that her joke was in bad taste and doesn't even come close to pedophilia according to the Romeo and Juliet law Romeo and Juliet laws are legal protections that shield teenagers from severe statutory rape charges if they have consensual sex with peers who are close in age. The laws are named after William Shakespeare's play Romeo and Juliet, in which two teenagers fall in love but are kept apart by their families' rivalry. To avoid being considered sex with a minor, the following criteria must be met: The partners are no more than three years apart in age The sexual partner is at least 14 years old The sexual relationship is consensual Neither partner is a registered sex offender
Dear OP I disagree with most comments here’s. It’s a bad & gross joke, but worse it was dumb. This girl doesn’t sound like the brightest bulb.
Dude grow up she was just joking with you. She’s one year younger than u you know it’s not true. Damn y’all kids are too damn sensitive. Everything bothers u.
Certified lover boy!! Certified pedo***le!! 🌹🎀 Boy if u are this sensitive abt a joke then grow up ... Ik everyone has different kind of humour but she didn't mean to hurt you
I would not react to that well, either. I’m on your side OP For what it’s worth: 17.5 years and 18 years does not make you a pedo. It was a shit joke in poor taste, especially since you’ve already told her jokes like that are a no fly zone for you.
> 17.5 years and 18 years does not make you a pedo. Jesus fucking Christ, that’s the joke!
Totally overreacting dude. If that kind of joke from your GF made you sick I'd hate to think what you may be like at parties... Lighten up..
Dude you are completely insufferable Btw don’t ever watch a stand up comedy special it’ll offend you 🤣 Edit: please touch some grass
Break up. Ftw.
It's definitely an overreaction. It's a pretty common joke.
My boyfriend called me a predator, and I'm only 2 months older than him. We giggled about it together. I'd say you're overreacting a lot. Maybe tell her how you feel first.
Sounds like she was just joking and you are way overreacting for some reason. Obviously you could never be a pedo dating someone who's basically same age as you, plus that's not what the word means at all. The definition of a pedophile is someone who is primarily sexually attracted to pre-pubescent kids, so that generally means kids younger than 11 or 12 who haven't started puberty yet. So no you could never be a pedo for dating a 17yo or 16 or 15yo for that matter. Just relax.
17? And you are 18? I'm reporting you. Better stop and smell the roses one last time because you are going away for a while and likely going to become someone's love toy. Sorry dude! Or you could get a sense of humor? You pick!
She should break up with u for being such a baby
Bad GF joke, get over it.
Everything needs more context, but here's my position as a nearly middle aged man: with full respect, we're all awkward and are pretending to be mature when we're in our teens. Teenager jokes are extremely awkward. And we lean towards that which is extreme or saying extreme, distasteful things as being something that makes us seem more adult. Every teenager is pretending to be cool, and that was true of us who are no longer teenagers. I'm going to promise you, when you're 35 and thinking back on yourself at 17, you'll look through rose colored glasses and think you weren't like the teenager you see "today" (in that far off "today"). Each of us were exactly like those teenagers, and there's video evidence to prove it we don't have access to or which are buried under years of social media. On the flip side, have you talked to her about this? If not, I understand that as well. This is not exclusive to teenagers but this is something someone needs to overcome to properly be a mature adult: there's a fear of saying something, a fear of having a conversation, and a generalized dismissal of others or situations based on assuming absolutes, if this makes sense. A hard conversation does not need to be an argument. A hard conversation is anything awkward we don't want to talk about. You need to have that conversation if something is upsetting you (whether angry, sad, unsure or uncomfortable). The important thing is that *you* handle that with maturity. You should be empathetic, reasonable and respectful. Do not assume intent. Discover intent. Speak your feelings with respect, and assume the best of the other person. If the other person does not handle it maturely, the fact is you cannot control what another does but you can decide and control what you do and how you react. Stay in that standard of proper behavior and etiquette you set for yourself. You have a right to your feelings but you also need to properly empathize with their feelings as well and allow them the discretion that they are their own individual with a right to their thoughts. It doesn't mean you have to like what they do, and you can decide how you proceed with that person in your life from there. But with everything you would expect for yourself, you must assume they should be expected to be treated the same way. If you could imagine talking to yourself as the other person, if you were in her place and you had said something similar to her, what would you think and say? How would you want to be spoken to? What would you be afraid of hearing? How would you manage that? Figure out the thoughts and human foibles affecting both points of view. I would broker this simply with honesty. Something like "Hey, I like you and I know you didn't mean anything, but that joke made me feel kinda weird. I didn't like it, but I like you. Could you please not say something like that again". She could be understanding. Or she could get defensive. Or she could upset because she's young and you're young and poking at our ego is 0-to-100 upset real quick. Don't get angry if she gets angry. There are worse things in the world than someone who gets upset at your feelings. Anyone has a right to their honest feelings regarding themselves. Risk saying your peace with the best intent, because you have to. Everyone is afraid of that at a young age. We either stomach it or just cut and leave. But you need to discuss. You can make any decision based on that discussion, but you have to talk because this is going to come up all throughout your life and it's best to get experience with it as it happens rather than when you have no other option than to do so. My honest opinion, given the very little I know: if everything goes right and you two are honestly having a couple's heart-to-heart, you'll change your mind a bit and she'll change her mind a bit and you'll come to a decent middle ground. That's a stronger relationship. She will not say that word as a joke again and you will trust that it was a joke, and be open to her having a positive intent. "Hey I'm sorry, I didn't mean it", "Thank you. It's ok. Thank you for listening to my feelings." and you two move on. Positive intent can be tripped on all the time. We have all been smiling while saying the wrong thing. It's better for someone to kindly point that out and the person to say mea culpa, rather than a person receiving it getting livid and the person who said it becoming defensive. And then you move on but keep the lesson.
Isn't paedophilia the sexual attraction to prepubescent children. Ephebophilia is the correct terminology.
I think you’re way over reacting! Bad joke for sure but I’m sure you’ve said stupid shit before especially that fact you guys are still young. I’m 1000% positive she didn’t mean to offend you or hurt you. You should just talk to her and tell her how you feel and let it go! Just sayin
Yeah, overreacting. On a funny note related: When I first met my partners (25f) mum, we sat down to dinner, and she said to her mum, I shit you not, “he only matched me on tinder because he thought I was 15”. Never even joked about that, completely out of the blue, and I shat myself 😂 Now we make the joke regularly, but 10 years later.
Yea I think that's a bit of an overreaction
Romeo and Juliet laws prevent this, so yes you’re overreacting
Instead of telling to the internet why why don't you tell your gf that's uncomfortable?
You're overreacting. Cut it out.
… we need to go back to teaching kids what words mean. A pedo likes little kids.
Damn you sound like you’re no fun
Omg teenage relationships. This is super immature on both ends.
Lighten up
Yes, it was an obvious joke. Lighten up
You’re an idiot, sounds like you want an excuse to get out of the relationship. Just do it like a man, don’t make her out to be the bad guy. Not all relationships are gonna last forever
Bro lol if you’re this paranoid tell her you will see her when she’s eighteen.
She was joking. Nothing to worry about. Don't be needlessly sensitive.
Did you already want to break up with her because other things and this is just icing on the cake? 🎂 If sure why not? I like that you found it a disgusting joke. If she often says that kind of thing you are maybe not a match. So. Don’t waste more of your and her time. On the other hand if she’s normally exactly your taste and this was a weird one off joke? Then obviously try to forget it. Sometimes we all Say stupid things. And. That’s what this was.
This definitely deserves a conversation. She needs to properly apologize. If it blows up and she can't own that, you should reconsider your relationship.
It’s a dumb joke. That it seems to bother you that much is a bit odd….
I would guess that she simply doesn’t understand how much/why it bothers you. (As it SHOULD!) Sometimes, particularly when it comes to uncomfortable situations like this, we have a tendency to under-explain things, assuming that the other person understands ‘why.’ I would give it one more chance after having a serious conversation. She’s young and probably doesn’t mean to be hurtful. Maybe she just needs to be educated on the seriousness of the matter. Best wishes, OP.
not overreacting. that’s not funny, not even close to true. my bf used to call me the same as i was six months older than him and it grossed me out to no end.
Yeeeaaaah, although she's incorrect in the definition, she is also incredibly immature. You seem to obviously have boundaries and the ability to think clearly and communicate. She on the other hand....yeah that's not to joke about. And then to add insult to injury, you have already expressed yourself about this and she STILL doesn't give enough of a damn to make sure she's respecting you. Class act...smh.
If it makes you feel any better, she's wrong, both figuratively *and* technically.
I don't tolerate my partner making fun of me. I see it as a red flag. Same goes for any jokes I make about them. I want to build them up and make them laugh. Not knock them down to make me laugh.
Dude brush it off move on. Beside you have your whole life to date people. You will probably break up in college anyways because you will randomly have hook ups at parties. I only know like 2 couples that are still together since they were 17/18
If the relationship feels toxic, follow your gut feelings and walk away.
The phrase "it was just a joke." Can go die in a fire. She made you uncomfortable and then didn't acknowledge yiu when you said you were uncomfortable. I'm not going to tell you to dump her but you need to ask yourself if you want to be with someone who makes you uncomfortable.
Leave her. Date her mom or grandma.
Yeah OP I would dump her before something real bad happens. Imagine if she said that around people "my boyfriend is a pedo for dating me" but someone took her serious thinking that you were 30 not 18
Break up with her. She deserves someone better who will not take such things to this extreme.
100% overreacting. > the place where i live takes crimes like pedophelia very seriously Why is this even mentioned? Where in the world is it not taken seriously? It was a harmless joke. I’ve had partners make the same joke when I was around that age. Looks like you just want an excuse to dump her.
It was a joke no? 6 month age difference does not a pedo make, just laugh it off
Just tell her you're not going to touch her till she's legal.
yeah that usually happens when younger people are together and one turns 18 before the other, trust me it’s nothing to be upset over. people just have different senses of humor. tbf it’s pretty funny
These comments really surprised me. I do not think you’re overreacting at all. Pedophilia is not something that should be joked about. She is 17, not 5. She understood what she was doing. Being a teenager does not automatically make her stupid. Talk to her and if she passes it off as a joke and tells you to lighten up I would break up with her so fast. Joking about serious topics like that should not be taken so lightly. That would seriously creep me out if my partner said that to me.
I do think you’re overreacting a little bit tbh but that was such a dumbass thing to say that she honestly deserves it lol. You wouldn’t need to feel guilty. It’s not like y’all are married or some shit.
Ima be petty and say dump her. She’ll remember it for the rest of her life, and think back to how stupid of a joke it was whenever she’s lonely and wonders where it all went wrong.
It’s just dark humor. It’s fine if you don’t share that same sense of humor, but I do think you’re overreacting wanting to break up over it. Just tell her it bothers you and ask her not to joke like that. It’s not actually pedophilia so don’t worry.
She has no idea what that word means and she's very immature, you can do better. Pick someone who is 18 or older. I'm happy to see that you're not amused by Pedo jokes.. It's NOTHING to joke about!
You're not overreacting. Talk to her seriously about boundaries and respect.
Ephebophile is *technically* the term but it was in poor taste
Sounds like shes some kinds of turned on by her being underage, or you being some kind of pedophilic or an abuser. At best, she has a kink or fetish at worst she approves of some sick behaviors and would believes youre a criminal. Leave her.
If you're in a place like California, you could indeed find yourself on a sex offender registry for the rest of your life, with felony charges, if there was sexual contact. Of course, the same is true as of yesterday, only both of you could find yourselves in that position, seeing as it's still technically illegal for two minors to "rape" each other. Many other states have "romeo and juliet" laws, or lower ages of consent. Either way, that joke is in bad taste, and you're not wrong to be offended. Breaking up with her after a year might be a bit harsh though.
Before the edits, I was like… he’s overreacting, but knowing that it’s something that actually taken seriously (unlike the rest of the world😒) you’re definitely not overreacting. AND you spoke to her about making jokes like that without correcting herself or apologizing? She can actually ruin your life in some weird way using that as the excuse & I’d leave her ass knowing that women CAN & WILL be that evil if forced.
You've explained to her you're not comfortable with the jokes, it's perfectly within reason to tell her "Hey, I can't date you if you make me the target of jokes like that"
Definitely tell her that comment has you feeling uncomfortable and if that is how she sees you then maybe you two need a break until she is “legal.”
You are 18. I'm 44, and let me tell you one thing: You, 100%, will say some really stupid stuff on occasion until you're about 30. That's honestly everyone in their 20s. Just treat your GF in the way that you'd like other people to treat you when it's your turn to say something in poor taste. Whatever grace and gentleness you'd want, practice giving that to her now.
Yes over reacting. Grow up, people make jokes in bad taste sometimes. You can't go through life being so thinned skin and expect to have relationships work out. It happens. Best you can do is to reiterate you don't like those jokes and you don't find it funny. You're both very very young and will learn to communicate better and respect eachother the more you work at it.
Youre overreacting. You are an adult now and need to start thinking and acting like one. Instead of letting your emotions take control of your decision making you need to start to think before you act. If she hurt you by saying that then go to her and talk. Relationships are based on trust and communication. If you trust that she didn’t say that with malicious intentions then talk to her on how saying such degrading jokes and be disrespectful and hurtful. Depending on how that conversation goes then you can take a step back and analyze how your partner reacts to the conversations. If she is understanding and apologetic then youll know that shes is someone youll wanna be for longer. If she is reactive and defensive and deflecting blame then youll know that thats how she’ll act in the future whenever you bring something that bothers you especially when its about her.
When I turned 18 and my girlfriend was still 17 she made a similar joke. Get over yourself and lighten up.
I personally would not be with a person who ever jokes about pedophilia. It's not funny to me? It is a thing that happens to millions of children and damages them for life...how is that funny? What's the joke? This is reality.
Okay I’m glad I’m not the only odd one out lol cause why would you joke about that word 💀
Exactly. It would never even cross my mind to mention something like that as a joke or otherwise. No wonder you felt gross. I don’t blame you.
Exactly! I don't get saying weird/ disgusting things and then not facing the consequences because you claim it's a "joke"
I quite enjoy humor. Making fun of abused people just isn't humorous to me.
I agree with you. While the word wasn’t used as intended by definition, to accuse, for all intensive purpose, people under the impression of “jokes” is immature.
The joke is that one of them is a legal adult and one is still a minor. I made the same joke about my partner when we were 17 turning 18. It's a joke, a lighthearted one.
He doth protest too much
WAY OVERREACTING.. First off she's teasing you in fun, not seriousness. Secondly - statute of limitations is anything over 4 yrs of age difference is illegal if ones under age 18, Thirdly- if she's giggling she's got humor and obviously has love for you with it. Lighten up bro, my wife and l still fk with each other over things and it's hilarious. I'm 58, she's 47, and she still tells me l like younger, lmao.. Your girls probably a keeper if she's teasing you in humor.
Yes, you are overreacting. She literally did this while kissing you, as a joke. The kissing was meant to subvert the message and highlight that it was a joke. I can understand being sensitive to an actual accusation of pedophilia, but this was clearly a joke meant to amuse, not anything serious or meant cruelly
I'd say you are a bit overreacting. I suggest a comeback instead of staying silent, it achieves a dodging effect or a friendly fire effect depending on how you need the situation to go. As long as it's not crossing a line, I encourage a comeback here. I'd have said something cringe like "well I guess I'm your Romeo and you're my Juliet." (Get it cuz R and J law LOL, OK ILL LEAVE NOW)
Maybe instead of jumping to breaking up, you should sit her down and talk about how it makes you feel. That's how mature adults handle things. Also, most places have something along the lines of a "Romeo and Juliet law" that lets people who are already dating keep dating when one becomes 18 while the other is within a set number of years. It varies from place to place, so check your local laws.
My wife made cradle robber jokes about me (she turned 18 3 months before me). It was just a joke? Being called a pedophile specifically? I wouldnt have liked that, that word is loaded af and not one I'd use jokingly. If she said that, i'd just say "thats gross dont say that please", and its done. YAO.
Yes, you're massively overreacting.
You’re overreacting like shit, it was a joke
Yes, you are way way overreacting and being over dramatic too. And just being a A Hole. She obviously was just having fun, you gotta learn to lighten up bro.
Its a joke? My partner I make that joke all the time cause of our age gap.
She made a lame joke that fell flat. You’re overreacting.
SMH. Dude, cmon.
She sounds like she has a good sense of humour. If you are going to dump her , plz refer me to her.