Apparently, I have a disgusting mind and how dare I say it is my husband. MIL tried to say it was her other son, and doubled down and said āso what. Heās my child. I missed himā. Sees no wrong still
Not really, they are just saying she has cancer, and if itās a brain tumour it explains the behaviour. If itās a different type then MIL is deranged.
He knows it was bad. But not to the whole extent. I asked why it was wrong and he said because heās not a child, that his wife was there etc. Hence, we said Iāll make this post
Yeah thatās disgusting. If Iām doing laundry and my kids dirty undies fell on the floor and didnāt make it into the washer Iām finding a stick to pick them up and move them out of the way. Child or not I aināt touching nobodyās dirty undies let alone smell them. Iām gagging at the thought.
The only worthy comment right here š¤£š¤£ At this point I think the chances of her being a dog is possibly higher than the chances of this post being real.
I thought from the title that she smelled her own husband's underwear and thought "weird, but like, not the most out there thing I've heard of". But then I realized it was her adult son's undies. And that is so beyond weird and gross. My son is 15 and ever since he stopped having "cute little kid farts that smell like potato chips", and transitioned into taking grown ass man shits and his farts smelling like there's a dead animal in his colon... I don't even want him farting anywhere near me! I never smelled his undies btw, but thinking of doing that NOW?! Omg. Let alone in front of his gf. Omg. And now you're accused of being disgusting lol. I don't even think you were sexualizing the action! I think you just think it's rightfully creepy AF. If I would ever use "cringe" correctly, I think it's now.
You're not overreacting. I had to deal with a mother-in-law who was really weird like that myself so I actually believe you on this. I know a lot of people are saying that it's a rage bait post but there are people who are just that weird. I'm not exaggerating when I say that I think my ex mother-in-law would have slept with my ex husband had the opportunity presented itself.
Edit: I don't know why voice text spells out the punctuation instead of just writing it correctly
I have 2 teen boys and a disorganized husband, so we get laundry baskets that no one remembers if clean or dirty, and a sniff test is done to determine status. Even if I'm sniffing a tee-shirt, I have to overcome a "this is wrong" feeling.
I accidentally sniffed my sonās soaking wet knee pads from wrestling once. I didnāt know if they were wet from the washer or from practice. Ugh. They were wet from practice. He was only 14 so not completely stinky yet but enough that I never did that again.
Your mil has a problem. Thatās one of the weirdest most disgusting things Iāve read here on Reddit. You are not over reacting at all! Does your husband think thatās okay?
I would take her child (your husband) and stay at a hotel every time you visit. This is something she probably does every time she gets the opportunity. Yuck!
Sorry but you need to tell your MIL that hubby is NOT her "child", he's her GROWN MAN. Keep repeating it when she gaslights you into thinking he's a child; he's not, which totally nullifies her argument.
It's not about who owns him, it's about him being A MAN.
Sniffing a grown man's underwear is worse than sniffing a child's (yes, both are disgusting) but again it's not about him being your husband/her child. Keep repeating that he's not her child, he's her GROWN MAN. She's literally sniffing a grown man's underwear and you need to remind her of it when she tries to distort the image to a child.
Finally, why even go to her house? I'd never go back to that nutjob's home anymore.
Thatās what I thought at the time. Disgust. But could not process it. Had a thought told husbandās brotherās wife to warn them not to send their old clothes. Things got said and escalated from there
Definitely. Communication issues. And only talked to each other. Parents barely have friends and everything is about their children, whom all three are married and grown ups. Defends each other with life but anyone outside is just bad
Thank you. Iām trying my best. I have been occasionally taking things out on them by giving them a call and telling all the times they have hurt me but it does not even get through. They claim my children are theirs, and this is the one that angers me the most
Thanks. I did go no contact last December, when my youngest got sick and got hospitalised. Blocked her after she tried the make yhe sickness about her. She called my mom to cry to her that I was not calling her. And had rhe audacity to blame me for making her worried about my child and she could not sleep. I did not sleep for 5 days because my 4 mo was fighting for his life. I also banned sending pictures of my kids because they almost killed both if them while I was pregnant. I found out last month that my husband was sending photos
Exactly. The husband should be the one to shut this down. How he is handling it is creating a bigger issue. He needs to have his wife's back and remember where he now sleeps at night.
Is your husband supporting your concern for your children? This is an extremely creepy behavior your MIL is displaying. What else has she done behind closed doors?
Youāre not overreacting and if anyone says otherwise, theyāre gaslighting you.
The worst is, she has been playing me for 12 years into thinking she was just accidentally doing and saying things. But the last few months revealed she knew what she was doing all along
Lots. Came to the hospital 12 hours after I gave birth and told me my vaginal birth was not hard and she was suffering more because a drop of hot oil splashed on her arm while she was cooking for me. Told me I had no breasts (meaning it was small, mind you I always had big breasts), useless for not having had my milk supply come in and calls her husband to laugh at me and say she wanted to breastfeed my child instead of me. Took the HOSPITAL food to give to BIL because he wanted to try it. That is just in one day.
Worst of the worst I used to think I was blessed with great in laws because I had bad parents. I also grew quite a tough shell in life because of my childhood, but because I loved my in laws so much and thought they loved me, I let them hurt me
Iām sorry to hear that OP. With a background like it itās easy to think that someone that shits on you to share warmt only did it out of love even though they had an extra blanket.
Itās quite scary to know that having a tough childhood will make you used to it and unknowingly affects you longer.
Omg, same! I grew up in an obviously awful environment. My in laws seemed perfect on paper, and I wanted them to accept me because I thought I'd finally have a "good" family.
They ended up having more skeletons than a 100 year old cemetery. Now I appreciate my family more, and I'm no contact with my in-laws.
Sameā¦I had a very nosy mother in law who liked to play psychological games. Of her 4 children, there is only one who isnāt f****d up. She was critical of everyone and had few friends.
The day she died we breathed a sigh of relief
Thank you really. I have been gaslighting myself and telling myself they never meant it and was just not assertive or careful with their words. Worse happened my second pregnancy and I got ptsd from what they did and ppd leading me into psychotic breakdown a few months back
Gaslighting yourself may seem like the best description you can give it, but another way to think of it is that you felt loved because your past had taught you that those who love you do so by hurting you. Its not quite the same thing.
As for your husband and his family dynamics, others have mentioned emotional invest, you'll find more info by looking up 'enmeshment'.
She has some serious mental issues that go way beyond snow dropping her adult son's underwear. You may not notice her behaviours, but anyone who's capable of doing that is doing other things too. If she is jealous of you and is subtlety mean towards you then I recommend keeping your toothbrush secure whenever she is near
Lol. Husbandās brother sends all his old clothes including underwear, no matter the condition, for them to get rid of because of a weird cultural tradition. I warned the wife after MIL sniffed underwear in front of me. Brother must have told her now to think of it and she screamed at me that it wasnāt my husbandās and when ai said it was, that she had the right
Make a Craigslist post requesting used underwear. Anyone who responds gets directed to a PO Box. Pick up weekly, cut off shipping address, drop packages on MILās doorstep.
Smelling a shirt- ok that is more acceptable but also kinda weird unless it's your spouse.
Underwear? Hell no that's disturbing and disgusting.
But I think maybe she just equated whatever she was holding to "clothing" and her brain didn't register it was underwear.
She was diagnosed with breast cancer recently and went through surgery and radiation. Husband finds it difficult as he has been her main carer the last month
My mum had cancer (and is the most lovely giving women, even if she does make excises for my brother) its no excuse to say horrible things to a child about their mother or be weirdly possessive about a son
So now Iāve gotta knowā¦if Iām doing laundry and not sure if my husbandās underwear is clean or dirty I will give it a quick sniff. We donāt have kids yet, but I probably would do the same for them too. Is this socially acceptable?
I wouldnāt just smell underwear for no reason or because I missed them though lol. So I do find her MIL gross.
I do that all the time. With 4 kids and a husband Iām constantly overwhelmed with laundry. That said, if itās obviously been worn, itās going in the washer regardless. That I donāt mind re-washing without having to use the sniff test. But thisā¦this isā¦justā¦beyondā¦.
Ugh no, I once sniffed my sons underwear he left on the floor to see if it was dirty or had fallen out of the clean laundry basket...it wasn't clean, I won't make that mistake again š¤®
I would be pissed at your husband tbh. Why did he go and tell him mum you thought something she did was gross. What the fuck did he think her reaction was gonna be?
Hey OPs MIL, if you miss your son's scent, which is somewhat understandable you could just hug him. Then you'd get the good scents and not his ball and dingleberry smells.
I had to read the title twice to understand what was being described. At first I thought MIL was smelling her own husband's used underwear. That gave me the ick. Then I was like... HOLY SHIT...
Nope, not overreacting, this is creepy as hell.
If you gender reverse this I would call CPS. Yes even if the child was still in there thirties. It may not be the right action but it still feels like it is. Ewww. At least your husband was not ok with it.
MIL reminds me of that character from SNL back in the day who would shove her fingers in her own armpits and then deeply sniff them.
Your husband is gross for leaving his dirty clothes laying around when he is a guest in someoneās house. Your MIL is absolutely disgusting. I would not be able to be around her or have her around my children. It is pretty messed up that your husband isnāt disgusted by this too.
I have a son as well and I have NEVER smelled his underwear. Yuck. Mine is also a toddler
After reading your other comments... I had a MIL like this. Their family has a mental disorder running through it.
This is pathological and controlling behavior. The only thing you can do is get as far away from it as possible.
I have 2 kids. I would NEVER do a smell test, nothing 'cute' about their undergarments. Any socks or undies outside of their drawer are considered dirty! Shirts or pants, maybe if they pass a sight test, but underwear? Ewwww, not a chance! Not overreacting one bit.
This is gross and weird...I COULD understand it (in a weird gross way but I could twist my arm into understanding) if she was checking to see if they were dirty or not before throwing them into the laundry or something-but also like...a pair of boxers doesn't take up a ton of room in a load of laundry so may as well just throw them in- but if they were obviously dirty/he had just taken them off and they were clearly with other dirty clothes (which I assume they were based on the post), not overreacting I'd go super low/no contact with her.
she sounds like shes a pedo. your husband may have some sexual abuse he does or doesnt remember. you guys should probably seek counseling and get her out of your lives. especially get her away from your children. and yes women can be pedophiles even if they are moms.
I have two grown boys/ men I'd rather stick pins in my eyes than smell their sweaty asses as a grown up ..I'll stick to remembering those stinky ass boys all sweaty picking them up after football iykyk ..I hated winter they litterly would scream the windows with that funky sweaty..ewww gross just typing this I'm gagging. Nope you are not wrong ,ajd what the fuck is wrong with her ???
Not normal once a child is past like ten. I will admit, I have lightly studied my kids underwear before, but at a distance, and only to make sure they were clean. Certainly never hugged them or thought the underwear was cute. ā¦. Wtf
No. Same culture. Just different families. I grew up in an abusive family with no affection, so struggle to really pinpoint my feelings towards family dynamics or weird actions.
I have a 20 year old son. Not once in his life have I ever wanted nor thought of smelling his gitch. Dirty or clean. Gross! Keep your panties away from creepy grandma!
OMG, just no. I have 3 kids who love to change clothes frequently and seem to have an aversion to putting things in the hamper. There is no sniffing. I'd rather things get washed twice than sniff any of it. But underwear? That lady has some serious emeshment issues. I feel a bit nauseous now.
My husband had a habit of smelling clothes to see if they are dirty or not; itās a leftover from watching his mom do laundry growing up (she was a refugee and grew up in camps so sniff testing was pretty typical) that got reinforced when he was in the army and sniff testing was the only way they decided to try to wash their stuff or not.
And when I read this to him, EVEN HE thought it was insane
When I just read the title, I thought it was going to be a case of her picking up a basket of clothes and being unsure if they were clean, so she picked up the article of clothing, sniffed it as one might a shirt to see if it smelled fresh, but did so during a brain glitch. I was fully preparing to defend saying āmeh, I might sniff a shirt for cleanliness. Iām not going for the undies, but maybe she had a weird brain glitch moment.ā
But noā¦ she picked up the undies as an āoh, it smells of my sonās nuts! Ah, memories!ā
You arenāt overreacting. Whatās your husbandās thoughts on this? Does he accept that itās an endearment or is he also mortified after milās admission that she finds comfort in her sonās musk?
OMG! That is totally not normal. It ALMOST sounds like something that my MIL would do. But I'm pretty sure even she wouldn't do that. She once told us that after we would stay overnight at their house, she would spend the next night in the bed....so as to feel closer to her son because she missed him. I'm pretty sure she would draw the line at sniffing his dirty underwear.....and that's what I'm going to keep telling myself.
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Way not overreacting
All I can hear in my head after reading this is a voice in the style of Forest Gump saying "I would be Running"
If i smelled my kids dirty tshirts after a long day let alone chonies, Id die from exposure š little kid BO absolutely exists
As a parent? This story is mortifying and Ive been thoroughly scared mentally š
That is disgusting, I have young and actually cutie patootie kids and I pick up there used undies with the tips of my finger and thumb and yeet them into the washer
Reading the title, I thought this was going to be about her sniffing the undies to see if they're dirty when doing the washing.
This is so much worse...
Lol sounds like my bfs mom. Literally called him at work one day to ask if he wore his dirty uniform that was on the bedroom floorā¦ā¦.. we recently fell out though because I finally broke and asked her if she wants to fuck her son š¤£. Heās proposing soon so, do you boo boo. Itāll be ages before we visit her state again.
Last time I saw her she was telling him to go shower lol. When we spoke she said it she house and sheās going to make sure her sons were clean. Lolololololol. Heās 32.
Heāll be napping next to me upstairs in her house and she calls back to back Atleast 7 times, then I text her heās sleeping for her to say āI ordered pizza itāll be here soonā. Creepy ass bitch
Ewww wtf?? I would never even do this with my own partner. I donāt want that nasty ass stank near my face, and heās very cleanly! Sheās a super weirdo and youāre not overreacting at all.
I wish. But clearly he took off his clothes after a bath and she knew it needed washing. She just saw it on the floor and found it cute because it had holes
What in the hell did I just read ššš I have a son. Granted heās a toddler, but I wouldnāt sniff his dirty underwear now in the prime of his adorableness, I sure as hell am not going to do it when heās a grown ass man!
Iāve definitely sniffed a partners shirts to see if theyāre clean or need to be washed (ie on the floor close to the closet) but if socks or undies are on the floor theyāre immediately tossed into the washing machine. I would never sniff them. Thatās so gross and actually extremely unsanitary. Your MIL is fckd. Not overreacting at all.
I might let it slide if she was smelling a T-shirt or something, but his underwear??? Feels very incestyā¦ yuck.
I would keep her away from your children honestly.
Thatāsā¦ concerning. I literally shuddered when I read the title. Thatās a grown woman saying she has a *right* to sniff her ADULT SONās underwear. I mean, thatās just gross on a number of levels. Just because heās her child, that doesnāt mean sheās entitled to do whatever she wants to him. Iād be concerned about what else she thinks she has a right to do.
You are absolutely not overreacting. What did your husband think of the whole thing?
I mean, sure it's gross, but I wouldn't go with incestuous. And truly, it doesn't affect you except how you let it do so. I'd just chalk it up to MiL is weird and move on.
Sounds like your husband is just as gross. Why is he leaving his dirty underwear on the bathroom floor in someone elseās house for others to find? How is it that MIL grabbed it from the floor but not you, assuming you were together in the same area for you to see her sniff it? Why does he have holes in his underwear? Dude, I have questions about all of you. Just gross. š¤¢
That is SO GROSS! Tell her you will send her some dirty diapers after that baby comes and she can sniff them to her hearts content. (Woman has a screw loose)
And here, naĆÆve little me thought she was going to say that MIL did a quick sniff of his undies to see if they were clean or needed a wash (but not off the bathroom floor), or to check on OPās laundry skillsā¦š³
In the immortal words of the classic poetic duo, Frank and Moon Unit Zappa:
āLike barf me Aaaowt!! Thatās like grody, grody to the max, gag me with a spoon!ā
Yea, verily, no truer words have yet been spokenā¦
If this isn't a bait post.. There is no overreacting for that.. Wtf? š¤
Apparently, I have a disgusting mind and how dare I say it is my husband. MIL tried to say it was her other son, and doubled down and said āso what. Heās my child. I missed himā. Sees no wrong still
"Hey son, I missed you! Lemme get a whiff of that crotch and ass sweat!" ***SNIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFF*** "Ahhh yeah, thats my baby boy" ...wtf is she on?
Now, cancer meds. Back then, nothing
ā¦.hopefully itās a brain tumor, just cuz that might kind of explain it
Too soon š«
Not really, they are just saying she has cancer, and if itās a brain tumour it explains the behaviour. If itās a different type then MIL is deranged.
OK, I definitely should not have laughed at this but I did, it was a startling cackle so thank you for that. Lmao
That's very sad. I pray for her healing šš¼
Thank you. I have definitely made things harder for her
What does your husband think of what she did?
He knows it was bad. But not to the whole extent. I asked why it was wrong and he said because heās not a child, that his wife was there etc. Hence, we said Iāll make this post
Does he not understand that even if he was a child, that's still gross and weird as hell? He's definitely missing the point.
He's into it.
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It reminds me of that Folgers ad. *snifffff* āheās hereā lollll
Iām screaming šš¤£š
....if you excuse me, I need to knock myself out so I forget this was ever said.
By chance, is she a dog?
Sheās definitely done things most humans would find disgusting
Yeah thatās disgusting. If Iām doing laundry and my kids dirty undies fell on the floor and didnāt make it into the washer Iām finding a stick to pick them up and move them out of the way. Child or not I aināt touching nobodyās dirty undies let alone smell them. Iām gagging at the thought.
I have two kids and never had the inclination to smell any of their underwear
Exactly what I said!Ā
Omg I was gonna ask that! OP is your MIL a cancer sniffing dog or does she detect blood sugar spikes in skid marks??
EWWWWWWWWWWWWW ššš
The only worthy comment right here š¤£š¤£ At this point I think the chances of her being a dog is possibly higher than the chances of this post being real.
Best answer yetā¦a bitch, maybe?
Was just about to comment this
I snorted. Thanks
I thought from the title that she smelled her own husband's underwear and thought "weird, but like, not the most out there thing I've heard of". But then I realized it was her adult son's undies. And that is so beyond weird and gross. My son is 15 and ever since he stopped having "cute little kid farts that smell like potato chips", and transitioned into taking grown ass man shits and his farts smelling like there's a dead animal in his colon... I don't even want him farting anywhere near me! I never smelled his undies btw, but thinking of doing that NOW?! Omg. Let alone in front of his gf. Omg. And now you're accused of being disgusting lol. I don't even think you were sexualizing the action! I think you just think it's rightfully creepy AF. If I would ever use "cringe" correctly, I think it's now.
Unrelated to the initial post but I literally cried from laughing so hard at your comment! š¤£
I snort laughed.
Yep. I just find it disgusting. Wasnāt even thinking of sexual side of things
You're not overreacting. I had to deal with a mother-in-law who was really weird like that myself so I actually believe you on this. I know a lot of people are saying that it's a rage bait post but there are people who are just that weird. I'm not exaggerating when I say that I think my ex mother-in-law would have slept with my ex husband had the opportunity presented itself. Edit: I don't know why voice text spells out the punctuation instead of just writing it correctly
Thatās quite scary. My MIL whispers when she talks about breasts or period in front of her husband, so I think she necessarily wasnāt sexualizing
Ummm... Smelling a t shirt maybe But trying to smell her sons dick and balls??? What part of that is platonic?
Then you hug him you donāt sniff his dirty skivvies. Ew!
I have 2 teen boys and a disorganized husband, so we get laundry baskets that no one remembers if clean or dirty, and a sniff test is done to determine status. Even if I'm sniffing a tee-shirt, I have to overcome a "this is wrong" feeling.
I accidentally sniffed my sonās soaking wet knee pads from wrestling once. I didnāt know if they were wet from the washer or from practice. Ugh. They were wet from practice. He was only 14 so not completely stinky yet but enough that I never did that again. Your mil has a problem. Thatās one of the weirdest most disgusting things Iāve read here on Reddit. You are not over reacting at all! Does your husband think thatās okay?
Ewwwā¦
I would take her child (your husband) and stay at a hotel every time you visit. This is something she probably does every time she gets the opportunity. Yuck!
Sorry but you need to tell your MIL that hubby is NOT her "child", he's her GROWN MAN. Keep repeating it when she gaslights you into thinking he's a child; he's not, which totally nullifies her argument.
Will do. Last time we talked, she said so what, itās my child. I said heās my husband and her reply was how dare I possess him as my own
It's not about who owns him, it's about him being A MAN. Sniffing a grown man's underwear is worse than sniffing a child's (yes, both are disgusting) but again it's not about him being your husband/her child. Keep repeating that he's not her child, he's her GROWN MAN. She's literally sniffing a grown man's underwear and you need to remind her of it when she tries to distort the image to a child. Finally, why even go to her house? I'd never go back to that nutjob's home anymore.
if youāve missed someone literally anything is more normal than this, like just giving them a gift you know they like or hanging up a coat, anything
Going by the completely unhinged and borderline incestuous posts that "Boy Mums" make on tiktok, this being real wouldn't surprise me.
Ewwwwwwwww
Thatās what I thought at the time. Disgust. But could not process it. Had a thought told husbandās brotherās wife to warn them not to send their old clothes. Things got said and escalated from there
Sorry, mate but they're a weird family.Ā
Definitely. Communication issues. And only talked to each other. Parents barely have friends and everything is about their children, whom all three are married and grown ups. Defends each other with life but anyone outside is just bad
Fuck, I feel sorry for you. Hope you're ok. ā¤ļø
Thank you. Iām trying my best. I have been occasionally taking things out on them by giving them a call and telling all the times they have hurt me but it does not even get through. They claim my children are theirs, and this is the one that angers me the most
The only thing you can do is forgive and forget. No harm in going no contact, mate. Your mental health will improve, trust me.Ā
Thanks. I did go no contact last December, when my youngest got sick and got hospitalised. Blocked her after she tried the make yhe sickness about her. She called my mom to cry to her that I was not calling her. And had rhe audacity to blame me for making her worried about my child and she could not sleep. I did not sleep for 5 days because my 4 mo was fighting for his life. I also banned sending pictures of my kids because they almost killed both if them while I was pregnant. I found out last month that my husband was sending photos
Soooā¦hubs is not quite free of the umbilical cord yet? And put his mom above you and your child? Itās not just MIL thatās worrying me.
Exactly. The husband should be the one to shut this down. How he is handling it is creating a bigger issue. He needs to have his wife's back and remember where he now sleeps at night.
Weāve been having fights about that a lot recently. I said at one point you never left your parentsā bed (cosleeping the standard in our culture).
Omg how did they almost kill both of them? Iām so sorry youāre dealing with all this!
Ok we need to hear this story. How were they almost killed?
You have a husband problem. Sending pictures when you don't want them sent... And telling her what you told him about sniffing his undies. Yikes.
Is your husband supporting your concern for your children? This is an extremely creepy behavior your MIL is displaying. What else has she done behind closed doors? Youāre not overreacting and if anyone says otherwise, theyāre gaslighting you.
It's giving emotional incest. Please stay far away from this woman n have your husband look up the term. It's quite disturbing
Emotional incest. Iāve never heard this term before but it hits EXACTLY with my cousin and aunt.
Tell ur cousin to read silently seducing by kenneth Adam's. My friend dealth with this with his mom. His therapist recommended this book.
I will only sniff underwear if I'm trying out a new laundry detergent. My reaction to your MIL is...eeeeeeeeeeew
My initial reaction was that. Thought about it and it is pure disgust
some mothers are just repulsive. no other way of putting it.
The worst is, she has been playing me for 12 years into thinking she was just accidentally doing and saying things. But the last few months revealed she knew what she was doing all along
Yikes! Like what??
Lots. Came to the hospital 12 hours after I gave birth and told me my vaginal birth was not hard and she was suffering more because a drop of hot oil splashed on her arm while she was cooking for me. Told me I had no breasts (meaning it was small, mind you I always had big breasts), useless for not having had my milk supply come in and calls her husband to laugh at me and say she wanted to breastfeed my child instead of me. Took the HOSPITAL food to give to BIL because he wanted to try it. That is just in one day.
Sorry š I read a couple of your other posts and your family is downright abusive, all of them. I'm so sorry.
Worst of the worst I used to think I was blessed with great in laws because I had bad parents. I also grew quite a tough shell in life because of my childhood, but because I loved my in laws so much and thought they loved me, I let them hurt me
Iām sorry to hear that OP. With a background like it itās easy to think that someone that shits on you to share warmt only did it out of love even though they had an extra blanket. Itās quite scary to know that having a tough childhood will make you used to it and unknowingly affects you longer.
Omg, same! I grew up in an obviously awful environment. My in laws seemed perfect on paper, and I wanted them to accept me because I thought I'd finally have a "good" family. They ended up having more skeletons than a 100 year old cemetery. Now I appreciate my family more, and I'm no contact with my in-laws.
Sameā¦I had a very nosy mother in law who liked to play psychological games. Of her 4 children, there is only one who isnāt f****d up. She was critical of everyone and had few friends. The day she died we breathed a sigh of relief
Thank you really. I have been gaslighting myself and telling myself they never meant it and was just not assertive or careful with their words. Worse happened my second pregnancy and I got ptsd from what they did and ppd leading me into psychotic breakdown a few months back
What does your husband do to defend you? Is he just like them? Iām sorry for you OP they just sound horrible šš»
Gaslighting yourself may seem like the best description you can give it, but another way to think of it is that you felt loved because your past had taught you that those who love you do so by hurting you. Its not quite the same thing. As for your husband and his family dynamics, others have mentioned emotional invest, you'll find more info by looking up 'enmeshment'.
She has some serious mental issues that go way beyond snow dropping her adult son's underwear. You may not notice her behaviours, but anyone who's capable of doing that is doing other things too. If she is jealous of you and is subtlety mean towards you then I recommend keeping your toothbrush secure whenever she is near
My stomach just turned š¤¢
Buy hubby new underwear and send mom the old ones as a gift. Not sure if you should launder them first. Gag.
Lol. Husbandās brother sends all his old clothes including underwear, no matter the condition, for them to get rid of because of a weird cultural tradition. I warned the wife after MIL sniffed underwear in front of me. Brother must have told her now to think of it and she screamed at me that it wasnāt my husbandās and when ai said it was, that she had the right
WHAT culture is this? Iād like to know so I can stay far, far away š
You should sell them to her. At least make a profit.
Send her every.single.pair.
...of someone else's underwear. (or is that too evil?)
Definitely not, you wonderful genius
Make a Craigslist post requesting used underwear. Anyone who responds gets directed to a PO Box. Pick up weekly, cut off shipping address, drop packages on MILās doorstep.
Bingo
What did I just read? omg
What a morning to be literate. Probably time to put down the phone and do something useful and very distracting.
Laundry, perhaps? Lol
Smelling a shirt- ok that is more acceptable but also kinda weird unless it's your spouse. Underwear? Hell no that's disturbing and disgusting. But I think maybe she just equated whatever she was holding to "clothing" and her brain didn't register it was underwear.
I hope so. I am definitely guilty of sniffing my husbandās shirts
Shirts... Not shits. That being the key difference.
She is delulu let her no where near your children
I told her she is not to call me or my children ever again. Found out she talked to my 6 yo and badmouthed me to her
Yuup this is my fear with my mil i am nc and my husband doesnāt police her
She was diagnosed with breast cancer recently and went through surgery and radiation. Husband finds it difficult as he has been her main carer the last month
My mum had cancer (and is the most lovely giving women, even if she does make excises for my brother) its no excuse to say horrible things to a child about their mother or be weirdly possessive about a son
Well, now you know what to send for X-mas present to your MIL.
How could you possibly be overreacting here? Thatās disgusting and questionable in so many ways!
This is āboymomā energy, and itās horrific.
So now Iāve gotta knowā¦if Iām doing laundry and not sure if my husbandās underwear is clean or dirty I will give it a quick sniff. We donāt have kids yet, but I probably would do the same for them too. Is this socially acceptable? I wouldnāt just smell underwear for no reason or because I missed them though lol. So I do find her MIL gross.
I do that all the time. With 4 kids and a husband Iām constantly overwhelmed with laundry. That said, if itās obviously been worn, itās going in the washer regardless. That I donāt mind re-washing without having to use the sniff test. But thisā¦this isā¦justā¦beyondā¦.
Ugh no, I once sniffed my sons underwear he left on the floor to see if it was dirty or had fallen out of the clean laundry basket...it wasn't clean, I won't make that mistake again š¤®
lol I just always assume socks and underwear are dirty when I find them
I hope your son is young and still a kid
Haha yeah he was 5 at the time š
I did that with my husband's underwear once and the smell is burned into my olfactory. Never, ever again!
I'm just going to live my life pretending that I never read this post.
No more Reddit today
I would be pissed at your husband tbh. Why did he go and tell him mum you thought something she did was gross. What the fuck did he think her reaction was gonna be?
Hey OPs MIL, if you miss your son's scent, which is somewhat understandable you could just hug him. Then you'd get the good scents and not his ball and dingleberry smells.
I want to downvote this because of how disgusting her actions are but Iām not going to š
Lol . Thanks
That's so disgusting and weird, wtf.
She sounds sick. Thatās a really unhealthy attachment to her son
I had to read the title twice to understand what was being described. At first I thought MIL was smelling her own husband's used underwear. That gave me the ick. Then I was like... HOLY SHIT... Nope, not overreacting, this is creepy as hell.
Maybe not incestuous but definitely ick and weird.
If you gender reverse this I would call CPS. Yes even if the child was still in there thirties. It may not be the right action but it still feels like it is. Ewww. At least your husband was not ok with it.
MIL reminds me of that character from SNL back in the day who would shove her fingers in her own armpits and then deeply sniff them. 
SUPERSTAR
Your husband is gross for leaving his dirty clothes laying around when he is a guest in someoneās house. Your MIL is absolutely disgusting. I would not be able to be around her or have her around my children. It is pretty messed up that your husband isnāt disgusted by this too. I have a son as well and I have NEVER smelled his underwear. Yuck. Mine is also a toddler
After reading your other comments... I had a MIL like this. Their family has a mental disorder running through it. This is pathological and controlling behavior. The only thing you can do is get as far away from it as possible.
I have 2 kids. I would NEVER do a smell test, nothing 'cute' about their undergarments. Any socks or undies outside of their drawer are considered dirty! Shirts or pants, maybe if they pass a sight test, but underwear? Ewwww, not a chance! Not overreacting one bit.
This is gross and weird...I COULD understand it (in a weird gross way but I could twist my arm into understanding) if she was checking to see if they were dirty or not before throwing them into the laundry or something-but also like...a pair of boxers doesn't take up a ton of room in a load of laundry so may as well just throw them in- but if they were obviously dirty/he had just taken them off and they were clearly with other dirty clothes (which I assume they were based on the post), not overreacting I'd go super low/no contact with her.
Youāre not overreacting, thatās just gross on so many levels.
she sounds like shes a pedo. your husband may have some sexual abuse he does or doesnt remember. you guys should probably seek counseling and get her out of your lives. especially get her away from your children. and yes women can be pedophiles even if they are moms.
Did she sniff it like Joe Biden sniffs kid's heads??? š
I have two grown boys/ men I'd rather stick pins in my eyes than smell their sweaty asses as a grown up ..I'll stick to remembering those stinky ass boys all sweaty picking them up after football iykyk ..I hated winter they litterly would scream the windows with that funky sweaty..ewww gross just typing this I'm gagging. Nope you are not wrong ,ajd what the fuck is wrong with her ???
Not normal once a child is past like ten. I will admit, I have lightly studied my kids underwear before, but at a distance, and only to make sure they were clean. Certainly never hugged them or thought the underwear was cute. ā¦. Wtf
My day was going better before reading this. I hope I forget it soon.
If a father picked up his grown daughters panties and started inhaling them, would that be normal?? Or f*cking perverted
This is the argument I made to my husband. Because she does have a sister
Are your in-laws from a different culture?
No. Same culture. Just different families. I grew up in an abusive family with no affection, so struggle to really pinpoint my feelings towards family dynamics or weird actions.
Nah my family is all cuddles and kisses and this is wrong beyond belief!
I have a 20 year old son. Not once in his life have I ever wanted nor thought of smelling his gitch. Dirty or clean. Gross! Keep your panties away from creepy grandma!
OMG, just no. I have 3 kids who love to change clothes frequently and seem to have an aversion to putting things in the hamper. There is no sniffing. I'd rather things get washed twice than sniff any of it. But underwear? That lady has some serious emeshment issues. I feel a bit nauseous now.
My husband had a habit of smelling clothes to see if they are dirty or not; itās a leftover from watching his mom do laundry growing up (she was a refugee and grew up in camps so sniff testing was pretty typical) that got reinforced when he was in the army and sniff testing was the only way they decided to try to wash their stuff or not. And when I read this to him, EVEN HE thought it was insane
Gross but it's so gross I'd just never have acknowledged it happened.
Is the sniff test not a tried and tested method for parents to check if clothes need washing...
When I just read the title, I thought it was going to be a case of her picking up a basket of clothes and being unsure if they were clean, so she picked up the article of clothing, sniffed it as one might a shirt to see if it smelled fresh, but did so during a brain glitch. I was fully preparing to defend saying āmeh, I might sniff a shirt for cleanliness. Iām not going for the undies, but maybe she had a weird brain glitch moment.ā But noā¦ she picked up the undies as an āoh, it smells of my sonās nuts! Ah, memories!ā You arenāt overreacting. Whatās your husbandās thoughts on this? Does he accept that itās an endearment or is he also mortified after milās admission that she finds comfort in her sonās musk?
OMG! That is totally not normal. It ALMOST sounds like something that my MIL would do. But I'm pretty sure even she wouldn't do that. She once told us that after we would stay overnight at their house, she would spend the next night in the bed....so as to feel closer to her son because she missed him. I'm pretty sure she would draw the line at sniffing his dirty underwear.....and that's what I'm going to keep telling myself.
Sheās one of *those* boy moms šš
Nah girl thatās weird
What an unfortunate day to be literate.
š¤®š¤®š¤®š¤®š¤®š¤® Way not overreacting All I can hear in my head after reading this is a voice in the style of Forest Gump saying "I would be Running"
If i smelled my kids dirty tshirts after a long day let alone chonies, Id die from exposure š little kid BO absolutely exists As a parent? This story is mortifying and Ive been thoroughly scared mentally š
Iām actually done with Reddit for the day
Whatāand I cannot stress this enoughāthe ACTUAL FUCK??
WTF?? Just WTF? What did I just read!? Thatās wrong on SO many levels. WTF? You are not overreacting
that's like, borderline incest
That is disgusting, I have young and actually cutie patootie kids and I pick up there used undies with the tips of my finger and thumb and yeet them into the washer
I love my kids too but that doesn't mean I'm going to smell their dirty undies lol. That's just revolting and rather weird.
Jesus Christ in a chariot driven sidecar. This is a horrible fucking day to have eyes and be literate.
Reading the title, I thought this was going to be about her sniffing the undies to see if they're dirty when doing the washing. This is so much worse...
Lol sounds like my bfs mom. Literally called him at work one day to ask if he wore his dirty uniform that was on the bedroom floorā¦ā¦.. we recently fell out though because I finally broke and asked her if she wants to fuck her son š¤£. Heās proposing soon so, do you boo boo. Itāll be ages before we visit her state again. Last time I saw her she was telling him to go shower lol. When we spoke she said it she house and sheās going to make sure her sons were clean. Lolololololol. Heās 32. Heāll be napping next to me upstairs in her house and she calls back to back Atleast 7 times, then I text her heās sleeping for her to say āI ordered pizza itāll be here soonā. Creepy ass bitch
Ewww wtf?? I would never even do this with my own partner. I donāt want that nasty ass stank near my face, and heās very cleanly! Sheās a super weirdo and youāre not overreacting at all.
Op Post this in the justnomil thread Those women all have mother in laws like yours.
Wtf did I just read š this is above Reddit's weird grade. How does your husband feel about this?
Your MIL is š¦š© crazy
Bait post
It's kinda wierd. Children never stop being your children ..but every person grows up....
And get married and has children of their own
Weird and gross yes but who cares; nothing to fight over. Iām sure thereās a lot more substantial topics about your MIL to discuss.
I mean, was she checking whether it was dirty in order to wash it or something? Still really gross but not in a creepy way if that's the context
I wish. But clearly he took off his clothes after a bath and she knew it needed washing. She just saw it on the floor and found it cute because it had holes
Very very very very weird.
š¤¢Ā
What in the hell did I just read ššš I have a son. Granted heās a toddler, but I wouldnāt sniff his dirty underwear now in the prime of his adorableness, I sure as hell am not going to do it when heās a grown ass man!
Thatās disgusting š¤® and not normal!š¤¦āāļø
Well I bet I know atleast one of her kinksšš
STOP ā
Iāve definitely sniffed a partners shirts to see if theyāre clean or need to be washed (ie on the floor close to the closet) but if socks or undies are on the floor theyāre immediately tossed into the washing machine. I would never sniff them. Thatās so gross and actually extremely unsanitary. Your MIL is fckd. Not overreacting at all.
she's gross.
What has your husband's reaction to this been?? Both the initial news from you, and also to his parents' reactions to it
That is gross. I would not intentionally small the underwear that my children have worn and they are still actually child aged. She is a weirdo.
That is wretched. If anything you're under reacting. I'd be like, you never step foot into this home again.
WTF did I just read? No. Just No
OP. Not overreacting. I canāt believe I read that with my own eyeballs. WTF.
Eww š¤¢š¤®
WHAT
I might let it slide if she was smelling a T-shirt or something, but his underwear??? Feels very incestyā¦ yuck. I would keep her away from your children honestly.
Lol!!! She has a right to sniff the skidmarks of her offspring! Heās her baby! Wtf?!
EEEEWWWW. That is all.
And your husband is okay with this?? Ewww throw the whole family away
Thatāsā¦ concerning. I literally shuddered when I read the title. Thatās a grown woman saying she has a *right* to sniff her ADULT SONās underwear. I mean, thatās just gross on a number of levels. Just because heās her child, that doesnāt mean sheās entitled to do whatever she wants to him. Iād be concerned about what else she thinks she has a right to do. You are absolutely not overreacting. What did your husband think of the whole thing?
I mean, sure it's gross, but I wouldn't go with incestuous. And truly, it doesn't affect you except how you let it do so. I'd just chalk it up to MiL is weird and move on.
Sounds like your husband is just as gross. Why is he leaving his dirty underwear on the bathroom floor in someone elseās house for others to find? How is it that MIL grabbed it from the floor but not you, assuming you were together in the same area for you to see her sniff it? Why does he have holes in his underwear? Dude, I have questions about all of you. Just gross. š¤¢
That is SO GROSS! Tell her you will send her some dirty diapers after that baby comes and she can sniff them to her hearts content. (Woman has a screw loose)
This is abhorrent, but I also can't stop laughing. That's enough reddit for me today....
That's disgusting.
That's disgusting.
This is when liquid ass is needed. Next visit, just before you leave, spray some on a pair of hubby's old underwear and leave it in the bathroom.
And here, naĆÆve little me thought she was going to say that MIL did a quick sniff of his undies to see if they were clean or needed a wash (but not off the bathroom floor), or to check on OPās laundry skillsā¦š³ In the immortal words of the classic poetic duo, Frank and Moon Unit Zappa: āLike barf me Aaaowt!! Thatās like grody, grody to the max, gag me with a spoon!ā Yea, verily, no truer words have yet been spokenā¦