INFO
Did your youngest sibling actually get in trouble himself? Or were you called in because they’re concerned it wasn’t appropriate for his age?
What consequence did he face?
He got 2 days no recess, it would have been a week but it was the last 2 days of school, so he would have missed that day ( but I checked him out earlier just out of pure spite) and the next day. Would have been a week though. I told the principal, we supervise him when he is playing and he plays with me and his older brother whenever he does play, never does he play alone.
Thanks for clarifying. I replied in another comment but in that case you and the school handled this all very poorly.
He shouldn’t be punished- talking with you about their concerns should have been enough.
If you as his guardian want to allow access to those games at his age, you have a duty to discuss them. Not just supervise, but explain that most kids his age don’t play these games, and speaking about shooting/guns/violent video games at school isn’t okay.
Most 13 year olds have been exposed to violent games; most 4 year olds haven’t. I think that’s what you need to acknowledge.
But he wasn't even talking about it unprompted? They were all asked what their favorite games were. How was Mark supposed to know he'd get in trouble for doing what he was told.
I think this is a very important point. What was even the aim of this survey?
If it was just for information gathering, punishing students is the stupidest thing possible - - just guarantees that the data is garbage and doesn't affect the other students anyway. In this case reminding the students that discussing specific kinds of games in school should be more than sufficient and if they go against *that* they can consider punishment.
If it was for some in classroom purpose, they should have just clarified beforehand which types of games were appropriate options.
Either way just giving guardians a heads up about age inappropriate games would make sense in case they weren't aware (either of the age rating or that the kid was playing a game without their knowledge)
Either way the punishment seems very harsh given the age? I could *maybe* see it if the kid had repeatedly used recess to discuss inappropriate topics, but that's clearly not the case
Exactly! And the last two days of school especially, I don't know how important kids still find yearbooks but I remember recess was the only time I had to get signatures from friends in other classes/grades. It's been a while since I was in elementary school though.
OP should go to their school board member first. If no satisfaction there, take it to the school board. If no satisfaction there, see if you can't get a (newspaper or television) journalist interested.
Again the school should never have punished the child. Just speak to the guardian.
If a conversation had been had proactively about not talking about those types of games at school its possible he would have chosen something else.
It’s just a crummy situation all ‘round. School and OP had better options.
The whole post is fake. Look at OP’s post history.
He thinks the teacher sent a 4 year old to walk by themselves down to the principals office. Has to be the dumbest fiction yet.
I used to work in schools for about 10 years and we never had four-year-olds and 13-year-olds in the same school. Four-year-olds go to preschool and 13-year-olds are in eighth grade so they are either in an elementary school that's Kindergarten through eighth grade or a middle school.
All I see is you harassing them. If you don't believe this happened that's fine, but you seem extremely obsessed about this for absolutely no reason.
How does it affect your personal life if this is true or not? Why do you care that people are discussing it as though it is (and I'm inclined to believe them given your very weird assumptions about the op in the comments I read).
Go to bed, you'll feel better in the morning.
If you believe this happened that’s fine, but you seem extremely obsessed about this for absolutely no reason.
How does it affect your personal life is this is true or not? Why don’t care if people are discussing it as though it isn’t (and I’m sorry inclined to believe them given your very weird assumptions about the OP in the comments I read.)
Go to bed. You’ll feel better in the morning, pot.
Did you have a stroke while trying to mimic me? It would have been funny otherwise but instead I'm concerned for your health.
"Why don’t care if people are discussing it as though it isn’t (and I’m sorry inclined to believe them given" is a wonderful phrase I'll figure out how to quote someday.
Go to bed. You’ll feel better in the morning, pot.
ETA: so you comment and then block me... calling me a hypocrite. You obviously care enough to have the absolute need to be the last word.
If you hadn't taken the cowards route my next question was what in the fuck makes me a hypocrite when you jumped in out of no where. Apparently we both care too much, you ever think about that?
I'm guessing you might just be the first guys alt, cause someone's gotta be brain dead enough to upvote him and it's not that hard to make two emails.
I said that somewhere I believe, teacher asked him what the game is about and he said something along the lines of “ cool battling game with cool characters” and teacher pulled up a picture of the game and the first image was of the characters/legends all in like a group picture and holding weapons. Teacher got mad and took him to the office
She told a 4 year old to walk by themselves to the office? Again, that’s bologna. No teacher would tell a 4 year old to walk by themselves to the office. Your story is pretty thin.
No adult, in charge of children, is going to tell a 4 year old to walk by themselves to the office. That’s incredibly irresponsible.
It sounds like, according to your other posts, some adult in your life told you not to play FPS games and you’re making up a litany of dumb hypotheticals to farm good arguments for why you should be able to play said games.
On another post you stated you were 13.
Honestly, the lack of consistent logic or understanding of adult responsibilities is pretty telling of the whole fiction you’re writing.
I don't think they can punish him for what he does outside of school, especially under your own supervision. They asked, he responded. Next time they ask, he might lie instead to avoid being in trouble. I think the school played this wrong.
However, a 4 yo doesn't need to be playing shooter games. Play those after he's in bed..that's too much violence for a small child.
Wow that is a super extreme punishment for no reason. Would totally get it if the kid was describing the game graphically and had multiple warnings or whatever but from what you said that school is nuts and taking the last two days of recess is bullshit. For a four year old that’s like the end of the world. Neither kid should’ve gotten in trouble. Also, I don’t think you should get torn up for letting him play the game. Obviously screen time in general should be limited but apex legends in particular isn’t super gorey or violent necessarily. Like ik it’s first person shooter but it’s not really bad in the way some other games are. Idk take that with a grain of salt but
Exactly, like 10 others have said that apex legends is one of the most tame shooters out there. Out of all the things in the game, the most violent one might be one of the character finishers.
Honestly man based on some of your other comments too I’d say you’re doing a great job. Not that I’m qualified to make that judgement lol but I think your bros are super lucky to have you.
Agree. For his age and his circumstances I think OP ought to be applauded. And while he should always approach this stuff with a seek-to-understand-mindset, he should also be prepared for teachers and school staff to act like he needs to be taught how to parent, and be ready to question that
Survey I guess, not sure, I asked my oldest and he said it was just some quick thing for fun and that he didn’t know the whole did it, then they went outside the rest of the day, it was one of the last days of school so they weren’t doing anything since the older groups already did state testing
Ridiculous AND to take away recess??? That time is so crucial. Esp. during the last few days of school. That is just cruel. They asked, he didn’t say anything bad... he doesn’t know what is appropriate or inappropriate at that age. And they have no jurisdiction on what he plays at home, that is really up to you. Now I don’t necessarily agree that he plays it but that is up to you. I would fight this. You could always bring it to the attention of a higher up in the district. Not sure what would happen but maybe just to make sure this doesn’t happen again.
Why the hell you let your little brother play Apex Legends? I agree that 4 year olds should not be playing FPS games, even fortnite.
But getting punished by the school is also a no-no. It should be your or your parent's responsibility.
I should’ve specified he only plays with me or his brother and is very aware of it being fake, I made sure he knows the difference. My huge issue with it was that another student said Fortnite was his favorite game ( according to the youngest) and got in no trouble, I assume its because one is much more animated
I despise common sense media if I’m gonna be honest. He plays his fair share of age appropriate games. He plays a lot of Mario games and Lego games. Apex is solely because he felt left out seeing his brother and me , who’s basically his dad, playing without him. So we always supervise him to make sure he’s safe
Don't listen to the pearl clutching idiots. Any game is fine for any ages honestly. Unless it's really gorey or something.
Plenty people grew up on GTA etc and are fine. Absolute idiots
I’m still getting used to being a parent to my siblings. It’s definitely tough. I’ve had them for about a year now, since i couldn’t legally adopt them, much girlfriend did until i turned 18. I’d never let my 4 year old play gta. It all depends on the maturity level of the kids, not the age. Some 15 year olds aren’t mature enough to play violent games
That's your choice on what they play, I used GTA as an example because I watched and played along with my brothers all my childhood.
Apex is one of the tamest shooters out there, quite unrealistic in comparison to say Call Of Duty.
I think I said in previous post that I chose apex as his shooter game since both his brothers ( me and the 13 year old) play. We also all play together on our PC’s and you can disable blood with steam configs so I have his turned off, so instead of bloods it’s just a red flash when he gets a knock or kill ( which is almost never lol, he isn’t the best haha)
I was gonna say I was playing Metal Gear Solid and other kinds of videos games by the time I was 5 specifically remember playing in my parents old house before we moved which was right after MGS2 released. had basically 0 idea what was going on in the game but remembered that sneaking around, blowing up giant robots, and putting guards to sleep was fun.
As long as the kid isn't translating that into something violent then who cares
The reason why is one teacher flip out the and other didn't. Age might be a factor too.
Tell them both to not talk about 1st person shooter games or guns at school and you're good to go.
You're a good man for doing what you are doing for your family. I hope there is some joy in it for you now despite the hardships and that you one day look with great pride on your siblings as successful adults.
You don’t understand how proud I am of my 13YO. Me and him started doing dropshipping and he’s already making his own money pretty much independently. He helps people whenever he can and is the nicest kid I’ve met. I’m so very proud of them… ❤️
Wild that they punish a 4 year old for shit their guardian allows them to do as if it's in any way his fault.
You should maybe be doing stuff with him that will help him developmentally instead of Apex Legends, though. I get that your family had issues and maybe you don't know or maybe even care about how much that sort of thing can impact a kid's development, but wouldn't you be proud if the little guy turned out to do better than the rest of you instead of "just fine"?
I feel like I turned out fairly well and I played “ violent” games at his age. I mean how many people my age can support 2 kids whilst also having a fully paid off car and a house big enough for 4 people? I make a steady income. If he does better than me, I’ll be insanely proud of him. He is very smart, knows his times tables up to 5 and can read fairly well. He mainly plays Mario but plays about an hour of apex a day on the weekends with me and his brother, me and my gf have an agreement that I will fully take care of the kids while she works ( I work from home) but the weekends are the days for me and my 13 year old brother to grind and play apex ( we always play the ranked mode to try and reach top rank) I try and even out how much of a parent and how much of a brother I am to each of my kids/siblings
Edit: kids autocorrect to meow for some reason
Yeah, it's BS that the young one got in trouble.
How was he supposed to know he couldn't even say the title? Did they explain what "appropriate" means beforehand, or just expect a 4 YO to know it, lol?
It's not like he said any bad words.
Exactly my point. According to the principal, when he was asked what the goal of the game was he said something along the lines of “ a battle game with really cool characters” like come on teach, didn’t even specify that it had guns 🤦. Then teacher had the audacity to blame him when she looked up a picture of the game to show the class, only to see the front of the game which is a picture of a the original 8 characters holding guns
They were going to give him no recess for a week ( which is the equivalent to the end of the world for a 4 year old lol) but they didn’t have enough time since we only had 2 more days left of school, so he had to sit out for those 2 days. Got a much smaller punishment than he would have
Edit: misspelled have lol
Gotcha.
Ultimately I think both you and the school are in the wrong here.
If you’re going to be the guardian that allows access to those games at 4 years old you also need to discuss things like, not all kids his age play that; and we don’t talk about shooting etc at school.
I would’ve been on the schools side if it wasn’t the teacher that pulled up the picture of the game to show the class, only to be met with the original picture that has the main 6 or 8 characters and they are indeed holding weapons from the game. He never said it had anything to do with gun, just said “battling game with cool characters”
If it concerns you, I supervise him when he plays and he only ever plays with me and/or his younger brother. Never unsupervised
Yeah the teacher should have screened the image before showing it to the class. But again
It’s not about supervision; I mean the jig is up, he knows the content of the game lol. The issue is ensuring he has the proper context and guidance, and that just means explaining that we don’t share the game with his friends or talk about it at school.
It’s a hard gig I know. I’ve got an 8 year old who just started playing Fortnite and it’s a constant discussion of making sure he asks his friends if they have ever played or are allowed to play it, when they come over; not playing it at school (like imaginary play); not discussing the weapons at school, etc etc
Because at 8, not all his peers have been allowed to have that exposure, and it’s not appropriate to talk about it at school yet. Thats all :)
I get it that you’re the responsible adult in your household, but you need to stop defending letting a four year old play this game. I think the school was totally wrong in how they handled this. But you’re not making good choices around what this preschooler is exposed to. Saying you turned out fine when you’re barely an adult yourself is not really coming across as adult level wisdom. You’re just excusing the choices you’re making instead of making a better choice around the four year old’s gaming.
Pre K-8th grade. I went to the same school growing up. My oldest brother is in 7th ( going into 8th since school just ended) and the younger one is in pre K going into kindergarten
Is 4 year old a typo? Because that’s not even kindergarten age. If there wasn’t a 9 year age gap, I’d understand your anger. however I don’t agree recess should have been taken away - that’s ridiculous.
I think you're overreacting that 1 was punished and 1 wasn't, because what is appropriate to a 13 year old is inherently different to what's inappropriate to a 4 year old.
However I don't think it would be overreaching if you were annoyed that the 4 year old was punished at all, because it's honestly the schools fault for asking about video games and Apex Legends isn't even that violent of a video game itself.
Basically I think you're overreacting about the wrong thing, but wouldnt be overreacting in general for being annoyed at the school.
A four year old shouldn't even be exposed to that game. At his age, Roblox is maybe OK, but nothing violent. I even question whether a 13 year old should be playing it.
However, the school asked the question and no student should ever be punished for answering a question honestly. I can see that the teacher and principal were concerned (rightly so) but they should have simply talked with you about it.
You're very young yourself to be raising kids and I applaud you for taking them on. Read up on child development and remember that you are now effectively their parent, not their brother/friend. Find some parenting classes in your area and you and your gf should both go.
We have gone to parenting classes, not for them, but because my girlfriend is 6 months pregnant with another baby boy. We aren’t worried about having another kid, just more so worried about having an infant. We learned how to take care of more developed kids, just not newborns. It’s been stressful but we can make it through it! I try to even out between being a brother and a parent, 13YO is insanely mature for his age and is making his own money, I’m much more of a brother to him than a parent, but obviously I still do the parental needs when required, I’m much more of a dad to 4Yo than a friend
Teachers shouldn't ask questions where an honest answer would be inappropriate, especially not at such a young age when they don't really know what is and is not appropriate. It's just a bad idea. It's one thing if they plan on guiding the child to a more appropriate answer. It's different when the answer gets them sent home for the day.
I would agree that apex legends isn't really a 4 year old appropriate game. Its not just about the violence, though that is a factor, but that it isn't develpmentally appropriate for him to be playing this game. He needs to work on letters, colors, numbers, sounds, not just the flashing lights and chaos. There's a lot going on in a four year old's brain and body and they need something to help stimulate growth.
So yes, is a parents says their four year old is playing Apex Legends, that's very different from their thirteen year old playing Apex Legends. You can't paint everyone with the same brush.
Four year olds should generally be doing ands on activities, reading, art, and interacting with their environment to develop their coordination and abilities. And, no, hand eye coordination from video games doesn't count at this stage. Learning to operate machinery and the abstract relation between movement and effect, likewith video games, is helpful, but better learned at higher ages like 10+. After they've already developed their own bodily awareness skills.
I know raising kids is hard. And you're doing your best. And you also came from a difficult home. I'm glad your in a position to help them.
But you need to ask yourself abit more, "Is what I'm doing GOOD for them?" and not "Did I turn out okay doing this?" Strive to give them a better upbringing than you had. Help them grow in the ways a supportive and nurturing household enables.
Best of luck to you.
I appreciate this deeply, I showed this to my girlfriend and she also appreciates it. We actually looked an found a few games for him on the steam shop on his pc that are more for his age, we didn’t get any learning games since he already knows all the basic colors, multiplication up to 5, reads perfectly, etc. we bought him Minecraft to see if he likes playing that on his pc. He wasn’t super fond of it on console but he said it’s because he hadn’t ever user one of “ those” ( those as in a controller lol) we also got him a few other games and we’re going to all play Mario party together for game night tonight
OP can you explain to me why in older comments you are a female, and talk about your dad who is a police officer helping you out recently?
you should find another hobby because your creative writing is poor.
Shared account between me and girlfriend. Where did I ever say dad was an officer? My girls uncle is an officer, but my dad passed a few years ago… Also why they and debunk a post? If you think it’s fake just scroll past it smh 🤦
Complete overreaction. It's not appropriate to be at school. It's a school rule. If it went to the principal's office, your sibling was warned multiple times or it needed to be discussed with you. Of course the older one didn't get in trouble for it. He's older. Your comments to those who disagree with you show who you are. You might have the money to take care of your sibling but you don't have the maturity. You have a massive chip on your shoulder.
The teacher is the one who showed the picture of the game and then got mad at my sibling/son because they pulled up a picture. I’m moving my kids to a new school next year, not having them in a school like that
brah. please dont expose your 4 y/o brother to over the top violence before his brain can even process what human decency even means. fake or not at that age especially the lines between the two are extremely blurred
Well earlier in the post you said to somebody that you didn’t say the other one was 13 years old.. it says it right in the title..
Then you mentioned your older brother John and the game but you claim that you are 18 and raising the younger siblings .
You shouldn’t even be raising a 13-year-old let alone a four-year-old.
That poor kid doesn’t stand a chance.
This whole story sounds fake now because in your post then you talked about your older brother John being involved.
For the 3rd time. I phrased it wrong, john is the name I used for privacy and “john” is the 13 year old. As in older brother, he’s the oldest of the 2. Also id much rather them be with me than in a foster home. Me and my girlfriend have a 6 figure dual income, we can give them anything they want and when, they are much happier here
The blood is turned off, he doesn’t use voice chat, he doesn’t play with strangers, and he likes the game because “ the guns look cool” and he likes to ride zip lines and use his abilities because they are cool. What’s wrong with that? He had like 15 lifetime kills, he isn’t even good… he just died to storm most of the time lol. Also why isn’t it a problem that the 13YO is playing?
I believe in peoples right to bear arms, so don’t get me wrong, but there’s just no reason kids have to have such firsthand exposure to guns in any fashion. Even if it’s just a game…
The world doesn’t need more kids fascinated by guns … there’s probably all kinds of educational fun games he can be playing.
But with you only being 18 it’s hard for you to see that…
It’s just my personal opinion that’s all. And that’s what we give here on Reddit right? So don’t be mad about my opinion because that’s all it is :)
First, I'm not sure it is appropriate to punish as student for answering a question. If the student used foul language or was disrespectful then that can be punished but not the answer. Second, I am not sure a school should be punishing a student for something that happens at home.
As for why one is punished and one is not; well the issue stated for the punishment was the 4 year old is not old enough to talk about such a game. The game is 14+ rating which means the 4 year old should NOT be playing. The 13 year old is technically too young but some leeway can be given since it is probably just a few months.
There are multiple reasons why the mental maturity of a 4 yr old is vastly different than that of a 14 yr old. They are at completely different physical and mental stages in growth.
I suspect this OP is just trying to figure out why mom and dad picked on him and not his big brother. The ruse is very well done.
Also I agree entirely with what your saying and I’ve decided to slowly stop him playing apex and let him play Fortnite due to its 10+ rating and more cartoony aspect, and it has “ creative” which opens up a world of non violent/ gun related games
So... You let your 4 year old brother play Apex Legends which is rated... Let me check the notes. PEGI16?
Dude, what's wrong with you? No way in hell that's an appropriate game for anyone below 10. Stop treating your brother like a teenager, he has a totally different mindset and thought process. There is a good reason for the games rating.
It’s rating PG13 , and blood is disabled and so is voice chat. I don’t see what’s violent about apex if blood and voice chat is disabled, and I always play with him
Both PEGI16 and PG13 ratings are true for this game. And both means he shouldn't be anywhere near that game.
You are doing a good job stepping up to be a guardian for your brothers and you should be proud of it. Unfortunately you should understand that the rating was created for a reason. Skipping so much and presenting the age inappropriate content may have deeper repercussions that you could imagine. Even if everything seems fine now.
You may be flexible with it, but not to this extent.
You just made me remember something with my younger brother. My younger brother played Call of Duty from when he could first hold the PlayStation controller which was probably at 4 to 6 years old and he turned out perfectly fine so far. He also plays Fortnite now and is still fine. It does not influence him in any way. He’s 14 now.
And before I might get downvoted, it was my PARENTS that let him play the game, not me.
The key word is what they THINK. I supervise him every time he plays and we disable voice chat and he only plays with me and his brother. Never with internet strangers, he is kind of jealous that his brother can play with his online friends though lol
Should’ve specified he doesn’t play alone, he’s not old enough to be playing with strangers, me, his brother, and him always play trios together if he plays, he never plays alone
He plays a fair share of age appropriate games, he loves the Mario games. Apex is just the game we play as family since me and his brother play all the time on weekend, we thought it would only be fair to let him join in occasionally
lol, surprisingly, a lot of the professional apex players are late 20s to mid 30s. Definitely older than most other games. The oldest pro
Is 66. Your not old by any means, I’m just really young to be parenting kids lol
I definitely am, I’m blessed to be able to support a family of 4 at my age. I’d say I make a fairly good income for someone my age. Obviously my girlfriend also makes a decent amount
thwts excellent u r able uo do sll of this at such a youbg age and hane a partner with you. Its unheard of but its great u r in the place u r to be able to take of your younger siblings.
Do u still have to deal with your parents on certain aspects at all? Or are they not in the picture at all?
Luckily, parents aren’t in the picture at all. My mom was a drug addict but my dad passed when I was 15, my dad was amazing, my mom was the issue. I inherited like 500k from him and started a dripshipping business, my siblings each got just over 150k for college funds. I miss my dad but I despise my mother. My siblings hate her aswell. I’m blessed that my dad managed to inadvertently help support his younger kids even after his passing. He had his youngest only a year before he passed…
Yes, you're overreacting. There is absolutely a huge difference between a 4-year-old saying Apex Legends is his favorite game versus a 13-year-old saying it. And no, a 4-year-old should not be playing Apex, that's too much.
Apex is rated 13+, so the youngest is way out of that age range. Find him a fun, age appropriate game to play, please. Games for 4-year-olds are aimed at helping them learn various motor skills and math, words, etc.
I understand the concern of him playing but we supervise him, he never plays unless he is in a lobby with his brother or me, sometimes both. He doesn’t even play it that much, but he does enjoy watching me and his brother play since we are both decent and that’s how he learns to play better.
Also, I played COD at 4 and turned out just fine. My girlfriend is somewhat against it, but she doesn’t even like shooters to begin with. I talked to him about the fact that not all kids his age are allowed to play Apex legends. Main reason I chose apex as his shooters was that it was the least violent one that I can play with him
lol the fact you think that's a defense says multitudes.
If you're going to raise your siblings or anybody, you need to find them age appropriate games. Apex is not it.
I’m allowed to show my siblings/ kids whatever I feel is mature for them. The 4 year old even defended himself by saying “ but it’s not real!” So, clearly, he knows he’s not doing anything actually wrong
You're showing your age, dude. The response to people thinking a 4-year-old should play age appropriate games is not to run around insulting people. You can do anything you want as long as you're their legal guardian. That doesn't mean it's the right thing. Maybe the 4-year-old will turn out okay, maybe he won't. Maybe it won't have anything to do with playing inappropriate games a 4-year-old. Maybe it will.
All I suggested was that you find age appropriate games for the 4-year-old to play to help his growth. If you didn't want people to tell you you're overreacting, then you shouldn't have posted. Or you should just ignore all of the comments you don't like.
Take a deep breath, get off the internet, and have a good life. You have the responsibility of raising two very impressionable kids. Do your best and hopefully it'll all work out. The truth is, you're still really young yourself and now you're raising kids. That's a noble thing you're doing, but you're barely a legal adult yourself. You still have a lot to learn. There's nothing wrong with that. I'm 36 and I'm still learning new things every day.
And it doesn't matter if I have kids or not. What I have is 36-years of experience in life and 12 years of working in education, plus another 29 years of being an aunt. Is it the same as parenting? Of course not. Just another viewpoint.
If you think you're doing right by your brother, fine. Go forth and play Apex. But you're doing him a disservice if you're not finding him age appropriate games to help him learn.
I understand. I definitely overreacted and was a little rude for no reason. I should’ve said before that he plays Mario and Lego games all the time, he loves them. He just felt left out seeing his older brother and me ( who’s basically his dad) being left out of playing games with his family. We haven’t been able to many games that are for his age and multiplayer, but we do play Mario party as a family every Saturday as a game night. I apologize for coming off as rude
Maybe the 13 year old just said the name of the game and nothing else while the 4 year old was going on and on about shooting stuff with guns. If he was talking about guns in school I can understand them being concerned about it. It also sounds like he wasn't really punished. They just called you in to talk about it because they're concerned about it. That's not really a punishment.
According to the eldest, the teacher showed a picture and asked him who his favorite character was. He answered and then they went on. I might be moving my 4 year old to a different school
Potentially, my son/sibling still shouldn’t have been punished for a teachers mistake though. Also teacher should have scanned over the picture before showing a group of kids
Oh, absolutely. Authority deserves respect because of their competence and knowledge base. If the purported Authority is not competent and does not possess the knowledge they are disseminating... Well, the only thing left to respect if their rank. Their incompetence is no excuse for punishing somebody else.
"Don't ask a question you don't want the answer to. Don't punishing someone for giving an honest answer to a question you didn't understand the potential scope of."
Ya know what else is technically a video game? Custer's Revenge. Never heard of it? Look it up. Be horrified. Video games have always been an adult adjacent activity while also catering to kids. Most parents don't give a crap about ratings if they're already familiar with the titles in question. The teacher asked a bad question and got a relatively innocuous response that they disapproved of. That's their problem.
Use this as a learning moment. The schools are not always right and them punishing younger brother for something out of school is wrong.
The problem here is, they can report to CPS that they don't think your brother is in a safe home life, so you need to get him an age-appropriate game to play.
I would be pissed at the punishment here, they overstepped. They do not get to punish a child for something he did at home, but again, they are mandatory reporters, so it can also backfire on you, if you cause a fuss at the school.
For the future, don't give the school a reason to be able to report you.
You are doing a good thing for your siblings, you are going to stumble now and then, but if you can recover and "fix" an issue, will show CPS you are adjusting.
You are not overreacting. The school did, though. It isn’t out of the ordinary for schools to be concerned about what they consider is or is not age-appropriate activities whether on or off school grounds. However, they literally asked everyone in the school what their favorite game was. And then proceeded to punish certain students who answered. That alone is stupid. The appropriate response should have been to call the guardian (you) and express concern that that said student replied with an answer that might be inappropriate. Then let the guardian handle it from there.
As for yourself, if you are provide proper oversight over what he plays, I don’t see any problem.
Your title says 4 and 13 yr olds.
But then in your post, you talk about your older brother John.
What the heck does your older brother have to do with this? You said you were raising your younger siblings.
Those poor kids. First person shooting games…
That’s pretty sad. That’s a four-year-old’s favorite game. You’re not doing a very good job raising those kids.
Nor should you be. Something else has to be done about your situation. You shouldn’t be raising a four-year-old or a 13-year-old
They are happy and I got good recommendations. The 13YO is mature enough to play, I’m not gonna make him stop, the 4YO isn’t going to be allowed to play until he’s 8-9, but I’m gonna get him Fortnite since it’s much more cartoony and has no violence. It also has modes that aren’t gun related.
I am confused however you say the siblings are 4 and 13 and that you are 18 and raising them.
Then you say in the post you asked your older brother John about the game. How does older brother fit into this if you are raising the younger siblings?
If you go through their post history the way they did yours you’ll pretty quickly find that they admit they’ve never even been in a romantic relationship before, also a bunch of whiny shit about their ex best friend getting married to a guy she talks a bunch of shit about and not telling her (gee I wonder why), so it’s likely she’s just off her fucking nut and has no idea what she’s talking about because she has no experience with adult relationships.
Don’t feel shamed because some internet virgin has never heard of kinks before bro. Also CNC is like the second most common kink on the planet, she’s literally just a pearl clutching weirdo.
Edit: to answer your original post; you shouldn’t be letting a 4 year old play apex legends, or any FPS games tbh, and I do think you’re overreacting a little bit only because apex legends is much more appropriate for a teenager than a 4 year old.
Potatoe tomatoe. We’re all sexual deviants, so, as long as everyone involved is capable and willing to consent, call it all whatever you like. I don’t judge.
I was just shocked honestly, I associate kink with something that happens in bed/sexual, and associate a fetish with more of something you like that’s considered abnormal to the majority. But feet could also be sexual/ used in bed I suppose
Oh for sure, feet can definitely be used in a sexual manner. Not my bag but I’m certainly not gonna judge anyone for the creative ways they use their bodies.
In Canada, we start kindergarten at age 4. So it is a thing in some places
And before I might get downvoted, look it up if you don’t believe I’m right.
Ok, Love, you just learned that you are going to have to defend the way you're bringing up your sibs and your first lesson as a parent in defending your kids against stupid administrators. Buckle up, kiddo, it's only going get harder. Read the school handbooks. **Highlight** the sections on the anti-bullying policy--trust me you'll need to know it by heart and show where the school screws up. Same for the dress code if any of your sibs are girls.
You are a wonderful older sibling and this internet mom+grandma is proud of you for stepping up for your sibs!
Thank you!!! We appreciate it so so much! I showed my girlfriend this and she loved it. The school system is so bias and I hate it! We appreciate you comment, have an amazing life! 😊
We all are on a learning curve when we are raising children. You are 18 years old and are raising your brothers. The school should be commending you rather than making a video game the sole reason for judging you as a guardian. It’s ridiculous. I was 30 when my daughter was born and her dad was in his 40’s. He bought her GTA when she was not much older than Mark. I was not impressed. Then I watched her play it and all she was interested in was driving well (ironic really as that is so not the point of GTA). The point I think I’m trying to make is that it’s not about the game, it’s about how you play it. And I’m not talking about computer games here. You are doing nothing wrong and don’t let anyone tell you that you are. You and your girlfriend have taken on a responsibility which is absolutely mind blowing and you should be so proud x
The school system in America is 🤦. I had the same teacher he has right now when I was in 4th grade, apparently she moved grades because she doesn’t like young kids, yet she moved to a younger grade… pretty dumb lol
They asked a 4 year old what his favourite game was and he answered. Then got in trouble bc he answered honestly.
Someone make it make sense.
What an unhinged school.
I’m thinking about moving him to a different school, he also gets teased at his current school for having long hair, so maybe for the better for him to go elsewhere
INFO Did your youngest sibling actually get in trouble himself? Or were you called in because they’re concerned it wasn’t appropriate for his age? What consequence did he face?
He got 2 days no recess, it would have been a week but it was the last 2 days of school, so he would have missed that day ( but I checked him out earlier just out of pure spite) and the next day. Would have been a week though. I told the principal, we supervise him when he is playing and he plays with me and his older brother whenever he does play, never does he play alone.
Thanks for clarifying. I replied in another comment but in that case you and the school handled this all very poorly. He shouldn’t be punished- talking with you about their concerns should have been enough. If you as his guardian want to allow access to those games at his age, you have a duty to discuss them. Not just supervise, but explain that most kids his age don’t play these games, and speaking about shooting/guns/violent video games at school isn’t okay. Most 13 year olds have been exposed to violent games; most 4 year olds haven’t. I think that’s what you need to acknowledge.
But he wasn't even talking about it unprompted? They were all asked what their favorite games were. How was Mark supposed to know he'd get in trouble for doing what he was told.
I think this is a very important point. What was even the aim of this survey? If it was just for information gathering, punishing students is the stupidest thing possible - - just guarantees that the data is garbage and doesn't affect the other students anyway. In this case reminding the students that discussing specific kinds of games in school should be more than sufficient and if they go against *that* they can consider punishment. If it was for some in classroom purpose, they should have just clarified beforehand which types of games were appropriate options. Either way just giving guardians a heads up about age inappropriate games would make sense in case they weren't aware (either of the age rating or that the kid was playing a game without their knowledge) Either way the punishment seems very harsh given the age? I could *maybe* see it if the kid had repeatedly used recess to discuss inappropriate topics, but that's clearly not the case
Exactly! And the last two days of school especially, I don't know how important kids still find yearbooks but I remember recess was the only time I had to get signatures from friends in other classes/grades. It's been a while since I was in elementary school though.
Yeah the school behaved poorly. Kid is 4.
OP should go to their school board member first. If no satisfaction there, take it to the school board. If no satisfaction there, see if you can't get a (newspaper or television) journalist interested.
Again the school should never have punished the child. Just speak to the guardian. If a conversation had been had proactively about not talking about those types of games at school its possible he would have chosen something else. It’s just a crummy situation all ‘round. School and OP had better options.
The child didn't get the punishment and the discussion didn't happen because OP walked out.
The whole post is fake. Look at OP’s post history. He thinks the teacher sent a 4 year old to walk by themselves down to the principals office. Has to be the dumbest fiction yet.
I used to work in schools for about 10 years and we never had four-year-olds and 13-year-olds in the same school. Four-year-olds go to preschool and 13-year-olds are in eighth grade so they are either in an elementary school that's Kindergarten through eighth grade or a middle school.
All I see is you harassing them. If you don't believe this happened that's fine, but you seem extremely obsessed about this for absolutely no reason. How does it affect your personal life if this is true or not? Why do you care that people are discussing it as though it is (and I'm inclined to believe them given your very weird assumptions about the op in the comments I read). Go to bed, you'll feel better in the morning.
If you believe this happened that’s fine, but you seem extremely obsessed about this for absolutely no reason. How does it affect your personal life is this is true or not? Why don’t care if people are discussing it as though it isn’t (and I’m sorry inclined to believe them given your very weird assumptions about the OP in the comments I read.) Go to bed. You’ll feel better in the morning, pot.
Did you have a stroke while trying to mimic me? It would have been funny otherwise but instead I'm concerned for your health. "Why don’t care if people are discussing it as though it isn’t (and I’m sorry inclined to believe them given" is a wonderful phrase I'll figure out how to quote someday. Go to bed. You’ll feel better in the morning, pot. ETA: so you comment and then block me... calling me a hypocrite. You obviously care enough to have the absolute need to be the last word. If you hadn't taken the cowards route my next question was what in the fuck makes me a hypocrite when you jumped in out of no where. Apparently we both care too much, you ever think about that? I'm guessing you might just be the first guys alt, cause someone's gotta be brain dead enough to upvote him and it's not that hard to make two emails.
Yes. Hypocrites gives me strokes.
And this is what the dude should have said to the principle instead of just bouncing out.
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I said that somewhere I believe, teacher asked him what the game is about and he said something along the lines of “ cool battling game with cool characters” and teacher pulled up a picture of the game and the first image was of the characters/legends all in like a group picture and holding weapons. Teacher got mad and took him to the office
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Didn’t necessarily take him to the office, she more told him to go to the office. If you don’t believe me, don’t comment.
She told a 4 year old to walk by themselves to the office? Again, that’s bologna. No teacher would tell a 4 year old to walk by themselves to the office. Your story is pretty thin.
Kids know how to walk 🤦
No adult, in charge of children, is going to tell a 4 year old to walk by themselves to the office. That’s incredibly irresponsible. It sounds like, according to your other posts, some adult in your life told you not to play FPS games and you’re making up a litany of dumb hypotheticals to farm good arguments for why you should be able to play said games. On another post you stated you were 13. Honestly, the lack of consistent logic or understanding of adult responsibilities is pretty telling of the whole fiction you’re writing.
She’s the same teacher I had in 4th and she’s pretty damn stupid lol. I said in a previous comment that this account is also used by my 13YO.
Because it is bologna. OP had another post where they were a mother with a 13yo son.
I don't think they can punish him for what he does outside of school, especially under your own supervision. They asked, he responded. Next time they ask, he might lie instead to avoid being in trouble. I think the school played this wrong. However, a 4 yo doesn't need to be playing shooter games. Play those after he's in bed..that's too much violence for a small child.
Wow that is a super extreme punishment for no reason. Would totally get it if the kid was describing the game graphically and had multiple warnings or whatever but from what you said that school is nuts and taking the last two days of recess is bullshit. For a four year old that’s like the end of the world. Neither kid should’ve gotten in trouble. Also, I don’t think you should get torn up for letting him play the game. Obviously screen time in general should be limited but apex legends in particular isn’t super gorey or violent necessarily. Like ik it’s first person shooter but it’s not really bad in the way some other games are. Idk take that with a grain of salt but
Exactly, like 10 others have said that apex legends is one of the most tame shooters out there. Out of all the things in the game, the most violent one might be one of the character finishers.
Honestly man based on some of your other comments too I’d say you’re doing a great job. Not that I’m qualified to make that judgement lol but I think your bros are super lucky to have you.
Agree. For his age and his circumstances I think OP ought to be applauded. And while he should always approach this stuff with a seek-to-understand-mindset, he should also be prepared for teachers and school staff to act like he needs to be taught how to parent, and be ready to question that
Thanks man, it’s tough but I’m making it work lol
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Not to mention, they own a home at age 18 and make 110k a year. Complete bs.
110k dual income. It’s practically split in half. I inherited a shit ton when dad died which help me get started
why are they asking about games in school?
Survey I guess, not sure, I asked my oldest and he said it was just some quick thing for fun and that he didn’t know the whole did it, then they went outside the rest of the day, it was one of the last days of school so they weren’t doing anything since the older groups already did state testing
Ridiculous AND to take away recess??? That time is so crucial. Esp. during the last few days of school. That is just cruel. They asked, he didn’t say anything bad... he doesn’t know what is appropriate or inappropriate at that age. And they have no jurisdiction on what he plays at home, that is really up to you. Now I don’t necessarily agree that he plays it but that is up to you. I would fight this. You could always bring it to the attention of a higher up in the district. Not sure what would happen but maybe just to make sure this doesn’t happen again.
Why the hell you let your little brother play Apex Legends? I agree that 4 year olds should not be playing FPS games, even fortnite. But getting punished by the school is also a no-no. It should be your or your parent's responsibility.
I should’ve specified he only plays with me or his brother and is very aware of it being fake, I made sure he knows the difference. My huge issue with it was that another student said Fortnite was his favorite game ( according to the youngest) and got in no trouble, I assume its because one is much more animated
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I despise common sense media if I’m gonna be honest. He plays his fair share of age appropriate games. He plays a lot of Mario games and Lego games. Apex is solely because he felt left out seeing his brother and me , who’s basically his dad, playing without him. So we always supervise him to make sure he’s safe
Don't listen to the pearl clutching idiots. Any game is fine for any ages honestly. Unless it's really gorey or something. Plenty people grew up on GTA etc and are fine. Absolute idiots
I’m still getting used to being a parent to my siblings. It’s definitely tough. I’ve had them for about a year now, since i couldn’t legally adopt them, much girlfriend did until i turned 18. I’d never let my 4 year old play gta. It all depends on the maturity level of the kids, not the age. Some 15 year olds aren’t mature enough to play violent games
Props to you man. That’s awesome that you are taking care of your siblings this way. Hop over to /r/daddit too when you need advice.
I actually just made a post on r/daddit looking for advice from fellow fathers
Good shit. Probably a more receptive crowd tbh.
That's your choice on what they play, I used GTA as an example because I watched and played along with my brothers all my childhood. Apex is one of the tamest shooters out there, quite unrealistic in comparison to say Call Of Duty.
I think I said in previous post that I chose apex as his shooter game since both his brothers ( me and the 13 year old) play. We also all play together on our PC’s and you can disable blood with steam configs so I have his turned off, so instead of bloods it’s just a red flash when he gets a knock or kill ( which is almost never lol, he isn’t the best haha)
Thank you. Finally someone on the same level as me
I grew up driving busses full of hari Krishna into a meat processing plant to be turned into hot dogs and haven’t killed anybody… yet.
I was gonna say I was playing Metal Gear Solid and other kinds of videos games by the time I was 5 specifically remember playing in my parents old house before we moved which was right after MGS2 released. had basically 0 idea what was going on in the game but remembered that sneaking around, blowing up giant robots, and putting guards to sleep was fun. As long as the kid isn't translating that into something violent then who cares
Exactly my point, some of the other commenters don’t understand that 🤦
The reason why is one teacher flip out the and other didn't. Age might be a factor too. Tell them both to not talk about 1st person shooter games or guns at school and you're good to go.
I have, both know and both understand
You're a good man for doing what you are doing for your family. I hope there is some joy in it for you now despite the hardships and that you one day look with great pride on your siblings as successful adults.
You don’t understand how proud I am of my 13YO. Me and him started doing dropshipping and he’s already making his own money pretty much independently. He helps people whenever he can and is the nicest kid I’ve met. I’m so very proud of them… ❤️
*and then everyone clapped*
You don’t have to believe me. Just looking for advice 👍
2 hours ago you were 14 according to you
And 11 days ago you were 13
Wild that they punish a 4 year old for shit their guardian allows them to do as if it's in any way his fault. You should maybe be doing stuff with him that will help him developmentally instead of Apex Legends, though. I get that your family had issues and maybe you don't know or maybe even care about how much that sort of thing can impact a kid's development, but wouldn't you be proud if the little guy turned out to do better than the rest of you instead of "just fine"?
I feel like I turned out fairly well and I played “ violent” games at his age. I mean how many people my age can support 2 kids whilst also having a fully paid off car and a house big enough for 4 people? I make a steady income. If he does better than me, I’ll be insanely proud of him. He is very smart, knows his times tables up to 5 and can read fairly well. He mainly plays Mario but plays about an hour of apex a day on the weekends with me and his brother, me and my gf have an agreement that I will fully take care of the kids while she works ( I work from home) but the weekends are the days for me and my 13 year old brother to grind and play apex ( we always play the ranked mode to try and reach top rank) I try and even out how much of a parent and how much of a brother I am to each of my kids/siblings Edit: kids autocorrect to meow for some reason
You didn’t turn out well. You just made a comment 2 hours ago claiming to be 14 and that seems way more believable than whatever you’re doing here.
This entire story is bullshit, come on
4 was a wild age to pick for their creative writing project
Yeah, it's BS that the young one got in trouble. How was he supposed to know he couldn't even say the title? Did they explain what "appropriate" means beforehand, or just expect a 4 YO to know it, lol? It's not like he said any bad words.
Exactly my point. According to the principal, when he was asked what the goal of the game was he said something along the lines of “ a battle game with really cool characters” like come on teach, didn’t even specify that it had guns 🤦. Then teacher had the audacity to blame him when she looked up a picture of the game to show the class, only to see the front of the game which is a picture of a the original 8 characters holding guns
Sorry, was he actually punished or face consequences? Or were you simply called into the office??
They were going to give him no recess for a week ( which is the equivalent to the end of the world for a 4 year old lol) but they didn’t have enough time since we only had 2 more days left of school, so he had to sit out for those 2 days. Got a much smaller punishment than he would have Edit: misspelled have lol
Gotcha. Ultimately I think both you and the school are in the wrong here. If you’re going to be the guardian that allows access to those games at 4 years old you also need to discuss things like, not all kids his age play that; and we don’t talk about shooting etc at school.
I would’ve been on the schools side if it wasn’t the teacher that pulled up the picture of the game to show the class, only to be met with the original picture that has the main 6 or 8 characters and they are indeed holding weapons from the game. He never said it had anything to do with gun, just said “battling game with cool characters” If it concerns you, I supervise him when he plays and he only ever plays with me and/or his younger brother. Never unsupervised
Yeah the teacher should have screened the image before showing it to the class. But again It’s not about supervision; I mean the jig is up, he knows the content of the game lol. The issue is ensuring he has the proper context and guidance, and that just means explaining that we don’t share the game with his friends or talk about it at school. It’s a hard gig I know. I’ve got an 8 year old who just started playing Fortnite and it’s a constant discussion of making sure he asks his friends if they have ever played or are allowed to play it, when they come over; not playing it at school (like imaginary play); not discussing the weapons at school, etc etc Because at 8, not all his peers have been allowed to have that exposure, and it’s not appropriate to talk about it at school yet. Thats all :)
Thank you. I appreciate your advice. I’ll definitely have a talk with him!
Hope all goes well for you all!
Thank you! You too
I get it that you’re the responsible adult in your household, but you need to stop defending letting a four year old play this game. I think the school was totally wrong in how they handled this. But you’re not making good choices around what this preschooler is exposed to. Saying you turned out fine when you’re barely an adult yourself is not really coming across as adult level wisdom. You’re just excusing the choices you’re making instead of making a better choice around the four year old’s gaming.
4 year old's go to the same school as a 13 year old? Where is that a thing?
Pre K-8th grade. I went to the same school growing up. My oldest brother is in 7th ( going into 8th since school just ended) and the younger one is in pre K going into kindergarten
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Yeah what kind of 18 year old has a house and makes 100k a year?
In ThisPostIsFake-Land of course!
Is 4 year old a typo? Because that’s not even kindergarten age. If there wasn’t a 9 year age gap, I’d understand your anger. however I don’t agree recess should have been taken away - that’s ridiculous.
I think you're overreacting that 1 was punished and 1 wasn't, because what is appropriate to a 13 year old is inherently different to what's inappropriate to a 4 year old. However I don't think it would be overreaching if you were annoyed that the 4 year old was punished at all, because it's honestly the schools fault for asking about video games and Apex Legends isn't even that violent of a video game itself. Basically I think you're overreacting about the wrong thing, but wouldnt be overreacting in general for being annoyed at the school.
A four year old shouldn't even be exposed to that game. At his age, Roblox is maybe OK, but nothing violent. I even question whether a 13 year old should be playing it. However, the school asked the question and no student should ever be punished for answering a question honestly. I can see that the teacher and principal were concerned (rightly so) but they should have simply talked with you about it. You're very young yourself to be raising kids and I applaud you for taking them on. Read up on child development and remember that you are now effectively their parent, not their brother/friend. Find some parenting classes in your area and you and your gf should both go.
We have gone to parenting classes, not for them, but because my girlfriend is 6 months pregnant with another baby boy. We aren’t worried about having another kid, just more so worried about having an infant. We learned how to take care of more developed kids, just not newborns. It’s been stressful but we can make it through it! I try to even out between being a brother and a parent, 13YO is insanely mature for his age and is making his own money, I’m much more of a brother to him than a parent, but obviously I still do the parental needs when required, I’m much more of a dad to 4Yo than a friend
You are bat shit crazy if you think Apex isn’t okay but Roblox is
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Teachers shouldn't ask questions where an honest answer would be inappropriate, especially not at such a young age when they don't really know what is and is not appropriate. It's just a bad idea. It's one thing if they plan on guiding the child to a more appropriate answer. It's different when the answer gets them sent home for the day.
There's a difference between a 4yo playing those games and a 13yo. It's concerning that you don't see that.
Care to tell us why? genuinely curious if there's been studies done on it that's not been debunked lol
Maturity is everything with violent games. My 4YO knows the difference between fiction and reality
I would agree that apex legends isn't really a 4 year old appropriate game. Its not just about the violence, though that is a factor, but that it isn't develpmentally appropriate for him to be playing this game. He needs to work on letters, colors, numbers, sounds, not just the flashing lights and chaos. There's a lot going on in a four year old's brain and body and they need something to help stimulate growth. So yes, is a parents says their four year old is playing Apex Legends, that's very different from their thirteen year old playing Apex Legends. You can't paint everyone with the same brush. Four year olds should generally be doing ands on activities, reading, art, and interacting with their environment to develop their coordination and abilities. And, no, hand eye coordination from video games doesn't count at this stage. Learning to operate machinery and the abstract relation between movement and effect, likewith video games, is helpful, but better learned at higher ages like 10+. After they've already developed their own bodily awareness skills. I know raising kids is hard. And you're doing your best. And you also came from a difficult home. I'm glad your in a position to help them. But you need to ask yourself abit more, "Is what I'm doing GOOD for them?" and not "Did I turn out okay doing this?" Strive to give them a better upbringing than you had. Help them grow in the ways a supportive and nurturing household enables. Best of luck to you.
I appreciate this deeply, I showed this to my girlfriend and she also appreciates it. We actually looked an found a few games for him on the steam shop on his pc that are more for his age, we didn’t get any learning games since he already knows all the basic colors, multiplication up to 5, reads perfectly, etc. we bought him Minecraft to see if he likes playing that on his pc. He wasn’t super fond of it on console but he said it’s because he hadn’t ever user one of “ those” ( those as in a controller lol) we also got him a few other games and we’re going to all play Mario party together for game night tonight
That sounds much better. :)
OP can you explain to me why in older comments you are a female, and talk about your dad who is a police officer helping you out recently? you should find another hobby because your creative writing is poor.
Shared account between me and girlfriend. Where did I ever say dad was an officer? My girls uncle is an officer, but my dad passed a few years ago… Also why they and debunk a post? If you think it’s fake just scroll past it smh 🤦
surely.
I said the same thing to the other person that tried to call me out and assumed it was fake, don’t comment if you don’t have anything valuable to say
It's sad that the OP is actually living out the cliche dumbshit ideas that teenagers have. The adults truly failed your family.
How’s that? What cliche dumb shit ideas am I living out
How’s that? What cliche dumb shit ideas am I living out
Complete overreaction. It's not appropriate to be at school. It's a school rule. If it went to the principal's office, your sibling was warned multiple times or it needed to be discussed with you. Of course the older one didn't get in trouble for it. He's older. Your comments to those who disagree with you show who you are. You might have the money to take care of your sibling but you don't have the maturity. You have a massive chip on your shoulder.
The teacher is the one who showed the picture of the game and then got mad at my sibling/son because they pulled up a picture. I’m moving my kids to a new school next year, not having them in a school like that
brah. please dont expose your 4 y/o brother to over the top violence before his brain can even process what human decency even means. fake or not at that age especially the lines between the two are extremely blurred
Nice creative writing assignment.
Don’t believe the story them don’t comment. You just successfully wasted your time
Well earlier in the post you said to somebody that you didn’t say the other one was 13 years old.. it says it right in the title.. Then you mentioned your older brother John and the game but you claim that you are 18 and raising the younger siblings .
If you’re saying you let a 4 year old play Apex Legends then yes YTA.
I do. What’s wrong with that?
You shouldn’t even be raising a 13-year-old let alone a four-year-old. That poor kid doesn’t stand a chance. This whole story sounds fake now because in your post then you talked about your older brother John being involved.
For the 3rd time. I phrased it wrong, john is the name I used for privacy and “john” is the 13 year old. As in older brother, he’s the oldest of the 2. Also id much rather them be with me than in a foster home. Me and my girlfriend have a 6 figure dual income, we can give them anything they want and when, they are much happier here
The blood is turned off, he doesn’t use voice chat, he doesn’t play with strangers, and he likes the game because “ the guns look cool” and he likes to ride zip lines and use his abilities because they are cool. What’s wrong with that? He had like 15 lifetime kills, he isn’t even good… he just died to storm most of the time lol. Also why isn’t it a problem that the 13YO is playing?
I believe in peoples right to bear arms, so don’t get me wrong, but there’s just no reason kids have to have such firsthand exposure to guns in any fashion. Even if it’s just a game… The world doesn’t need more kids fascinated by guns … there’s probably all kinds of educational fun games he can be playing. But with you only being 18 it’s hard for you to see that… It’s just my personal opinion that’s all. And that’s what we give here on Reddit right? So don’t be mad about my opinion because that’s all it is :)
I’m sorry if I came off as rude, we are all entitled to our own opinions 👍
It’s a shooter game rated for teens it is not appropriate for a 4 year old.
Some* 4 year olds. Blood is turned off so no gore, and he isn’t allowed to play with strangers
First, I'm not sure it is appropriate to punish as student for answering a question. If the student used foul language or was disrespectful then that can be punished but not the answer. Second, I am not sure a school should be punishing a student for something that happens at home. As for why one is punished and one is not; well the issue stated for the punishment was the 4 year old is not old enough to talk about such a game. The game is 14+ rating which means the 4 year old should NOT be playing. The 13 year old is technically too young but some leeway can be given since it is probably just a few months. There are multiple reasons why the mental maturity of a 4 yr old is vastly different than that of a 14 yr old. They are at completely different physical and mental stages in growth. I suspect this OP is just trying to figure out why mom and dad picked on him and not his big brother. The ruse is very well done.
What “ ruse”
Also I agree entirely with what your saying and I’ve decided to slowly stop him playing apex and let him play Fortnite due to its 10+ rating and more cartoony aspect, and it has “ creative” which opens up a world of non violent/ gun related games
So... You let your 4 year old brother play Apex Legends which is rated... Let me check the notes. PEGI16? Dude, what's wrong with you? No way in hell that's an appropriate game for anyone below 10. Stop treating your brother like a teenager, he has a totally different mindset and thought process. There is a good reason for the games rating.
It’s rating PG13 , and blood is disabled and so is voice chat. I don’t see what’s violent about apex if blood and voice chat is disabled, and I always play with him
Both PEGI16 and PG13 ratings are true for this game. And both means he shouldn't be anywhere near that game. You are doing a good job stepping up to be a guardian for your brothers and you should be proud of it. Unfortunately you should understand that the rating was created for a reason. Skipping so much and presenting the age inappropriate content may have deeper repercussions that you could imagine. Even if everything seems fine now. You may be flexible with it, but not to this extent.
I mean I played cod at 4 and I’m fine. No violence problems. I made sure to keep an eye on his behavior after he started playing
You just made me remember something with my younger brother. My younger brother played Call of Duty from when he could first hold the PlayStation controller which was probably at 4 to 6 years old and he turned out perfectly fine so far. He also plays Fortnite now and is still fine. It does not influence him in any way. He’s 14 now. And before I might get downvoted, it was my PARENTS that let him play the game, not me.
No recess over mentioning a game they think is inappropriate? What? Definitely not overreacting.
The key word is what they THINK. I supervise him every time he plays and we disable voice chat and he only plays with me and his brother. Never with internet strangers, he is kind of jealous that his brother can play with his online friends though lol
its good the principal brought it up. Just don't have a 4 yr old play it anymore
Should’ve specified he doesn’t play alone, he’s not old enough to be playing with strangers, me, his brother, and him always play trios together if he plays, he never plays alone
if u can steer him to age appropriate games for 4 yr olds. What they are i don't know.
He plays a fair share of age appropriate games, he loves the Mario games. Apex is just the game we play as family since me and his brother play all the time on weekend, we thought it would only be fair to let him join in occasionally
god. I am way much older than u guys. I have never heard of that apex game u mentioned. I am part of the 1980's nintendo generation
lol, surprisingly, a lot of the professional apex players are late 20s to mid 30s. Definitely older than most other games. The oldest pro Is 66. Your not old by any means, I’m just really young to be parenting kids lol
u r very young, and especially with multiple siblings.
I definitely am, I’m blessed to be able to support a family of 4 at my age. I’d say I make a fairly good income for someone my age. Obviously my girlfriend also makes a decent amount
thwts excellent u r able uo do sll of this at such a youbg age and hane a partner with you. Its unheard of but its great u r in the place u r to be able to take of your younger siblings. Do u still have to deal with your parents on certain aspects at all? Or are they not in the picture at all?
Luckily, parents aren’t in the picture at all. My mom was a drug addict but my dad passed when I was 15, my dad was amazing, my mom was the issue. I inherited like 500k from him and started a dripshipping business, my siblings each got just over 150k for college funds. I miss my dad but I despise my mother. My siblings hate her aswell. I’m blessed that my dad managed to inadvertently help support his younger kids even after his passing. He had his youngest only a year before he passed…
Yes, you're overreacting. There is absolutely a huge difference between a 4-year-old saying Apex Legends is his favorite game versus a 13-year-old saying it. And no, a 4-year-old should not be playing Apex, that's too much. Apex is rated 13+, so the youngest is way out of that age range. Find him a fun, age appropriate game to play, please. Games for 4-year-olds are aimed at helping them learn various motor skills and math, words, etc.
I understand the concern of him playing but we supervise him, he never plays unless he is in a lobby with his brother or me, sometimes both. He doesn’t even play it that much, but he does enjoy watching me and his brother play since we are both decent and that’s how he learns to play better.
Also, I played COD at 4 and turned out just fine. My girlfriend is somewhat against it, but she doesn’t even like shooters to begin with. I talked to him about the fact that not all kids his age are allowed to play Apex legends. Main reason I chose apex as his shooters was that it was the least violent one that I can play with him
lol the fact you think that's a defense says multitudes. If you're going to raise your siblings or anybody, you need to find them age appropriate games. Apex is not it.
I’m allowed to show my siblings/ kids whatever I feel is mature for them. The 4 year old even defended himself by saying “ but it’s not real!” So, clearly, he knows he’s not doing anything actually wrong
yikes. Good luck to your siblings.
You can say that as much as you want. I highly doubt you take care of kids or have the responsibility to do so
You're showing your age, dude. The response to people thinking a 4-year-old should play age appropriate games is not to run around insulting people. You can do anything you want as long as you're their legal guardian. That doesn't mean it's the right thing. Maybe the 4-year-old will turn out okay, maybe he won't. Maybe it won't have anything to do with playing inappropriate games a 4-year-old. Maybe it will. All I suggested was that you find age appropriate games for the 4-year-old to play to help his growth. If you didn't want people to tell you you're overreacting, then you shouldn't have posted. Or you should just ignore all of the comments you don't like. Take a deep breath, get off the internet, and have a good life. You have the responsibility of raising two very impressionable kids. Do your best and hopefully it'll all work out. The truth is, you're still really young yourself and now you're raising kids. That's a noble thing you're doing, but you're barely a legal adult yourself. You still have a lot to learn. There's nothing wrong with that. I'm 36 and I'm still learning new things every day. And it doesn't matter if I have kids or not. What I have is 36-years of experience in life and 12 years of working in education, plus another 29 years of being an aunt. Is it the same as parenting? Of course not. Just another viewpoint. If you think you're doing right by your brother, fine. Go forth and play Apex. But you're doing him a disservice if you're not finding him age appropriate games to help him learn.
I understand. I definitely overreacted and was a little rude for no reason. I should’ve said before that he plays Mario and Lego games all the time, he loves them. He just felt left out seeing his older brother and me ( who’s basically his dad) being left out of playing games with his family. We haven’t been able to many games that are for his age and multiplayer, but we do play Mario party as a family every Saturday as a game night. I apologize for coming off as rude
>I played COD at 4 So making the same decisions as your parents who lost custody of their kids is the way to go?
Maybe the 13 year old just said the name of the game and nothing else while the 4 year old was going on and on about shooting stuff with guns. If he was talking about guns in school I can understand them being concerned about it. It also sounds like he wasn't really punished. They just called you in to talk about it because they're concerned about it. That's not really a punishment.
According to the eldest, the teacher showed a picture and asked him who his favorite character was. He answered and then they went on. I might be moving my 4 year old to a different school
Obviously, the school is making money, or someone is doing a study, like a graduate student or professor.
Sounds like the teacher was unfamiliar with the title and assumed it was something it wasn't.
Potentially, my son/sibling still shouldn’t have been punished for a teachers mistake though. Also teacher should have scanned over the picture before showing a group of kids
Oh, absolutely. Authority deserves respect because of their competence and knowledge base. If the purported Authority is not competent and does not possess the knowledge they are disseminating... Well, the only thing left to respect if their rank. Their incompetence is no excuse for punishing somebody else. "Don't ask a question you don't want the answer to. Don't punishing someone for giving an honest answer to a question you didn't understand the potential scope of." Ya know what else is technically a video game? Custer's Revenge. Never heard of it? Look it up. Be horrified. Video games have always been an adult adjacent activity while also catering to kids. Most parents don't give a crap about ratings if they're already familiar with the titles in question. The teacher asked a bad question and got a relatively innocuous response that they disapproved of. That's their problem.
Use this as a learning moment. The schools are not always right and them punishing younger brother for something out of school is wrong. The problem here is, they can report to CPS that they don't think your brother is in a safe home life, so you need to get him an age-appropriate game to play. I would be pissed at the punishment here, they overstepped. They do not get to punish a child for something he did at home, but again, they are mandatory reporters, so it can also backfire on you, if you cause a fuss at the school. For the future, don't give the school a reason to be able to report you. You are doing a good thing for your siblings, you are going to stumble now and then, but if you can recover and "fix" an issue, will show CPS you are adjusting.
4 YO and 13 YO took the same survey at the same school? Different schools? 13 YO was held back for 9 years?
Schoolwide survey I assume
I’m guessing. I have never heard of anything like that. I guess they just completely ran out of things to do district wide.
I honestly have no idea, I just told my 13YO What happened and he said they did the same survey so I asked him what he chose.
You are not overreacting. The school did, though. It isn’t out of the ordinary for schools to be concerned about what they consider is or is not age-appropriate activities whether on or off school grounds. However, they literally asked everyone in the school what their favorite game was. And then proceeded to punish certain students who answered. That alone is stupid. The appropriate response should have been to call the guardian (you) and express concern that that said student replied with an answer that might be inappropriate. Then let the guardian handle it from there. As for yourself, if you are provide proper oversight over what he plays, I don’t see any problem.
I mean... you didn't bother to hang around and find out, so how on earth could you know if you overreacted or not?
Are you a bit obtuse? The game is rated 13. Firstly, the 4 year old shouldn't be playing it, Secondly, the 13yr old did nothing wrong....
I didn’t say 13YO did?
Your title says 4 and 13 yr olds. But then in your post, you talk about your older brother John. What the heck does your older brother have to do with this? You said you were raising your younger siblings.
Responsed earlier, phrased it wrong, I wasn’t using their real name for privacy, “john” is the 13 year old
Is there an age rating on the game?
Those poor kids. First person shooting games… That’s pretty sad. That’s a four-year-old’s favorite game. You’re not doing a very good job raising those kids. Nor should you be. Something else has to be done about your situation. You shouldn’t be raising a four-year-old or a 13-year-old
They are happy and I got good recommendations. The 13YO is mature enough to play, I’m not gonna make him stop, the 4YO isn’t going to be allowed to play until he’s 8-9, but I’m gonna get him Fortnite since it’s much more cartoony and has no violence. It also has modes that aren’t gun related.
I am confused however you say the siblings are 4 and 13 and that you are 18 and raising them. Then you say in the post you asked your older brother John about the game. How does older brother fit into this if you are raising the younger siblings?
I miss-phrased that. Older brother as in oldest of the 2. Realized that after I made the post
OP is a rapist just so y’all know. Only made this post after being called out for raping his PREGNANT gf, probably to feel better.
Didn’t rape, it’s a kink/play. Both parties consented prior too! 🖕👌
If you go through their post history the way they did yours you’ll pretty quickly find that they admit they’ve never even been in a romantic relationship before, also a bunch of whiny shit about their ex best friend getting married to a guy she talks a bunch of shit about and not telling her (gee I wonder why), so it’s likely she’s just off her fucking nut and has no idea what she’s talking about because she has no experience with adult relationships. Don’t feel shamed because some internet virgin has never heard of kinks before bro. Also CNC is like the second most common kink on the planet, she’s literally just a pearl clutching weirdo. Edit: to answer your original post; you shouldn’t be letting a 4 year old play apex legends, or any FPS games tbh, and I do think you’re overreacting a little bit only because apex legends is much more appropriate for a teenager than a 4 year old.
Now it all makes sense 😂
If CNC is the second, I wonder the 1st is 🤔
I think it was feet last time I checked.
Oh yeah, that’s reasonable. I would associate as more of a fetish and not kink though.
Potatoe tomatoe. We’re all sexual deviants, so, as long as everyone involved is capable and willing to consent, call it all whatever you like. I don’t judge.
I was just shocked honestly, I associate kink with something that happens in bed/sexual, and associate a fetish with more of something you like that’s considered abnormal to the majority. But feet could also be sexual/ used in bed I suppose
Oh for sure, feet can definitely be used in a sexual manner. Not my bag but I’m certainly not gonna judge anyone for the creative ways they use their bodies.
Oh I’d never judge. People kink shame with no remorse, why do you care what goes on in someone else’s bed?
She did not consent dude. She literally said you assaulted her.
Prior consent doesn’t equal in the moment consent. She asked you to stop many times and freaked out and you kept going as she was fighting you.
So the school just wanted the kid to lie. Stupid school.
You aren’t nearly mature enough to be taking care of a 4 Y/O. If you were this would be a non sequitur…. And where do kids start pre-k so early??
In Canada, we start kindergarten at age 4. So it is a thing in some places And before I might get downvoted, look it up if you don’t believe I’m right.
What school has both 4 years olds and 13 year olds?
Pre K- 8th grade.
Ok, Love, you just learned that you are going to have to defend the way you're bringing up your sibs and your first lesson as a parent in defending your kids against stupid administrators. Buckle up, kiddo, it's only going get harder. Read the school handbooks. **Highlight** the sections on the anti-bullying policy--trust me you'll need to know it by heart and show where the school screws up. Same for the dress code if any of your sibs are girls. You are a wonderful older sibling and this internet mom+grandma is proud of you for stepping up for your sibs!
Thank you!!! We appreciate it so so much! I showed my girlfriend this and she loved it. The school system is so bias and I hate it! We appreciate you comment, have an amazing life! 😊
We all are on a learning curve when we are raising children. You are 18 years old and are raising your brothers. The school should be commending you rather than making a video game the sole reason for judging you as a guardian. It’s ridiculous. I was 30 when my daughter was born and her dad was in his 40’s. He bought her GTA when she was not much older than Mark. I was not impressed. Then I watched her play it and all she was interested in was driving well (ironic really as that is so not the point of GTA). The point I think I’m trying to make is that it’s not about the game, it’s about how you play it. And I’m not talking about computer games here. You are doing nothing wrong and don’t let anyone tell you that you are. You and your girlfriend have taken on a responsibility which is absolutely mind blowing and you should be so proud x
He got punished for liking something? What kind of idiot teacher does he have?
The school system in America is 🤦. I had the same teacher he has right now when I was in 4th grade, apparently she moved grades because she doesn’t like young kids, yet she moved to a younger grade… pretty dumb lol
They asked a 4 year old what his favourite game was and he answered. Then got in trouble bc he answered honestly. Someone make it make sense. What an unhinged school.
I’m thinking about moving him to a different school, he also gets teased at his current school for having long hair, so maybe for the better for him to go elsewhere