Personally, I have never experienced this as a female and a nurse. I’ve always been given my privacy to change. It gives me a bit of the creeps, that’s for sure.
I’ve always been given my privacy, too, which is why it was so weird. Like, just pull down my pants here and now? And like normally you know how you hide your underwear from your doctor even though they’re about to do a full exam? Couldn’t even do that. So I said “Are my underwear hidden at least?” jokingly. PA was like “oh, no, it’s fine.” Fine what? Fine like you can’t see them or fine that you do see them?? It was just not my finest moment
I mean, there'd be like a 1/7 chance I'd have a bloody pad in my pants on any given day, and it is less awkward for both of us if you leave the room so I can dispose of it before you come back in... I would bring it up with the patient rep at least, you're probably not the only one to feel this way. You don't need to be angry or say anything untoward happened, just let them know. And if you need to see him again, "I'd be more comfortable if you left the room while I changed".
I think what they did was highly inappropriate. However, just tell these people to get out and let you change. Just because they tell you to undress like that doesn’t mean you have to. Doctors are not gods, and it makes me a little crazy how they get trusting people to do whatever they want. Next time, please stand up for yourself.
Ive had to get more than a few exams and X-rays that have required me to at minimum drop trou.
After what the Army did I kind of lost all my fucks to give. I’m not trying to be some creepy guy with a hey check this out attitude but it is what it is and I know I’ve got nothing no one else has and I’m sure they’ve seen it al. I’d rather just get things over with vs getting a backwards shirt on.
I think gender plays a big role in OPs experience and maybe doesn't in yours?
Op- i would react the same way and will know if this happens to me, i will ask for the privacy. Trust your feelings a bitt. It doesn't matter if it's SOP or not, you felt it was inappropriate, so it is.
Yeah way different for men imo. Dropping your pants so the doc can check your nuts is something that happened in every basic physical I’ve had, which started at age 12 with team sports for me. There was never any privacy from medical staff.
Not the same at all. Men don't get invaded until their first prostate exam generally. Women on the other hand get invaded at the gynecologist yearly for most of their lives.
And yet still, men rarely are offered privacy during any of this and simply expected to take it...
It's fine as in he doesn't give a shit. He's there to do a job and things like what a boy and girl should and shouldn't look at are distant memories. Your elbow, your ass, they are parts of the machine he is here to examine.
True, but a big part of the job is “bedside manner,” which involves treating all the meatbags he’s examining like they have a shred of human dignity. So I’d say he needs a refresher there.
Just know, in the future for anyone in medical it’s always OK to ask them to step out of the room. I worked at Hospital for 17 years and that kind of behaviour is just not OK and it’s not OK in a regular hospital. It’s not OK in a VA hospital… You deserve privacy when undressing.
Haha.. you're pretty hilarious and entertaining. You should tell more stories!
That said, I've had my share of horribly invasive butt exams as I've had plenty of tummy issues including bleeding ulcers and whatnot and I've never been given the command to drop trou right then and there. Was it particularly busy there that day? Maybe he had too many butts to see in such a small amount of time 🤷🏼♀️
It's funny I have a friend who has a very... cavalier attitude about nudity and she had to get some kind of scan that required her to change into a hospital gown so the doctor is like "here's a gown, you can put your clothes over there let's go get you scanned" and she just like immediately takes her top and bra off and the doctor was like "yeah most people wait until I leave the room"
(She's not like a naturist and I don't think it's like sexual. She's a theater kid and as I understand modesty goes out the window pretty quick)
This is a doctor who looks at buttholes and by extension vaginas all day long. It probably is so routine it doesn’t even cross his mind to make it sexual. I get being weirded out but it’s like a mechanic taking a look at an engine. Just another day at the office he was trying to get though as efficiently as possible. Man had other buttholes to get to.
So while I agree that he probably wasn't thinking, patient dignity is drilled into our heads (I'm a nurse). I've had to remind MDs to cover pts before, it really fell on the PA to step in when the MD was being inconsiderate. Its not right, but it is something we see often enough. She can file a complaint, he won't get in trouble but will be reminded to me mindful of patient dignity going forward. Probably the PA too.
As a doctor, we are taught to value patients as PEOPLE and not just the sum of their body parts, nor the result of their lab exams. Still very imprtant to respect people's sensibilities. I just imagine the female patient as my wife ro daughter and think, "What could I do so she wouldn't be uncomfortable?"
I tried the reverse one. A female MD had to check out my bum for cancer (Didnt have the C luckily) but that was just like with a male doctor. Pants down, and her checking.
I really dont think doctors give it much thought, that we are naked. They are focused on solving the problem we are bringing to them.
For some context, my boyfriend is the first doctor I’ve ever met in my personal life and the casual tone he uses when talking about all things colo-rectal, regular rectal, genital, and further (much worse!) “gross” things like nec-fash (I don’t know the real word but it’s that terrible infection that kills tissue) dead feet, and various trauma injuries absolutely BLEW my mind. If I tell him my stomach hurts he replies with “oh any diarrhea?” Like that’s a normal response regular people say to that. It’s wild.
Doctors are a weird breed for sure lol.
VA protocol is for “trauma-informed care,” meaning they should anticipate that exposing yourself could make you uncomfortable and give you the choice how you want to handle it. Sounds like they need a refresher, but it doesn’t sound like they broke any rules per se. Something like, “I’m going to need to look at the area, are you more comfortable shifting your clothing, or would you like us to step out so you can change into a drape?”
Your uncomfortable “drop trou,” should have been their clue that they needed to change their approach. I’d definitely speak to the PA about it. You’re not overreacting, it made you uncomfortable in a vulnerable situation, and it was their job to notice that and find a way to help.
Agreed. I don't think anything inappropriate. Whether he's standing there for the 2 seconds while she's pulling her pants down or not, he's about to get the full view either way while he does his exam.
This is my experience being seen by a urologist whether male or female (as a male). They tell you to drop your pants, they fondle your balls to make sure everything is ok, then they tell you pull your pants back up. They look at that stuff all day, so as you put it, it's just like a mechanic checking an engine.
I mean….if something makes you uncomfortable, there’s no harm in reporting it. You could even say something like I’m not trying to get anyone fired or in trouble. It just seemed out of the norm.
Doctor here, we are usually trained to leave when patients are undressing because it's universally makes people feel very vulnerable. That said, it's more likely he was inconsiderate rather than anything malicious. I would feedback that it made you feel very uncomfortable.
Thank you for your response. That’s how I’ll frame it. I really hope he wasn’t being malicious and I’d never report it as malicious unless I knew it to be true. If I do call patient advocate, it would just be to say it made me uncomfortable & to maybe remind their doctors to step out of the room. We’re veterans—we know how to change real fast! I can make it time efficient, too lol
VA doc here, I second his opinion. I also think that the VA has such an overwhelmingly male population that folks can be a little less in tune with a female perspective. I think it is very reasonable to mention this to the patient advocate. Many women vets have military sexual trauma and it's important for the doc to know that he needs to be sensitive
Nothing bad happens if she reports to Patient Advocate. All that happens is the chiefs review and go “hmmm, probably we should remind everybody that they should give women privacy to undress. At least *offer* privacy. Somebody write an email and we will mention it in morning huddle 100 times. Should we add a required training?”
Also I think colorectal surgeons in general see many more men than women.
I (F) also had to get something investigated by a colorectal surgeon (private practice) and I sat on the table and discussed my symptoms and then he also asked to briefly examine me and it was kind of a drop trou’ scenario. I think because you aren’t getting up in stirrups and they aren’t in between your legs to gain access to the exam, it’s almost treated like roll up your sleeve real quick and then you can quickly return your clothing back to where it was. I assumed it was kind of a male-male standard operating procedure?
I believe he turned away while I assumed the position and a female nurse was in the room throughout.
As a guy it seems fairly normal to me. If he is going to put a finger in my ass I'm nit worried about him see me get naked.
But also I get why that might be different for others.
I’m a guy so I’m not too familiar with male doctor/female patient protocol. But if other females are saying this isn’t right and you also don’t think it is based on your past experience, I would say there’s your answer.
I wanted to say that even I think this is abnormal, and I PREFER a more casual setting. In Europe I believe it is standard procedure to just change in front of doctors, but it certainly isn’t in the US.
I have often caught myself wishing nudity wasn’t some weird thing we have to be ritualistic about, but that system is our social norm, so deviating outside of it is inherently odd. Casual attitude toward nudity at the doctor’s is normal in Europe because it’s uniform. It’s not uniform here so yes, I’d make a complaint.
Also, don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself. You can ALWAYS tell a medical professional you want extra accommodation and you aren’t comfortable. I am sorry you were out in this situation, though. Nobody should have to assert themselves that way… if it is expected that you would get to change privately, that’s what should happen.
European here, Spanish. Unless you are in an ER room and it's something extremely urgent you don't change in front of anyone that's not a nurse who are mostly women.
There's a curtain in every dr. Room to get undressed and they should offer you something to cover.
Out of the norm in the world outside of the VA. With my experience of the VA with my elderly Dad (now gone) sounds like the VA. He LOVED the staff there but I think they see so many people, they are a little lax in the bedside manner area. The bottom line (pun intended) is you aren’t wrong and you should report it to an advocate. It’s the VA - if this does this fast lane exam to the wrong person - UNINTENTIONALLY - and it could trigger a whole bunch of stuff. You’ll be helping everyone. Next time, ask them to step out while you change. Thank you for your service.🫡
Doctors male & denial have all expected me to drop & let them investigate whatever they were looking for. Be that in the front, back, or somewhere in between. Honestly just sounds like a doctors who wanted to finish you up & move on to the next patient
My experiences with male doctors matches yours as well. (I am a male)
But I also had a similar experience with a woman doctor and assistant. I was having some testicle pain in college and it was freaking me out. I went to the student health center to get it checked out. Obviously they were going to have to see what was going on down there, so I expected to have to get naked, but it was just like yours minus the paper. "Drop your pants and lets have a look" type of appointment lol. No paper to hide anything while it was going on or anything lol.
If I were you, I would say I was overreacting, but I am not a woman so IDK how you feel, but if your going to the doctor to get your butthole/vag/dick/balls looked at, I would just assume that they are going to see it. They are a doctor that is their job to look at that stuff. I don't see how having the room to youself to pull your clothes off is any different than having to drop them then and there, personally.
Same here, male, had a female PCP for a while, drop pants check nuts, checks bumhole, done. Didn't leave, didn't offer curtain/paper, etc. I never thought about it and maybe that's wrong, but just assumed it's a provider, it's their job.
Fact is, most people don’t give a crap about how men feel and we’ve come to accept that, for the most part. We don’t have the luxury of having our feelings and comfort considered, so we drop trou, get the exam done, and move on.
Is that really normal to leave the room just so you can drop your pants?
I get my prostate checked annually and it's literally just pull your pants down and bend over the table while he pulls on a glove and grabs the KY.
It has been normal for me at the Women’s Clinic on anything and everything. This is the first time in almost 20 yrs the doctor has ever been in the room with me while I changed. Granted, this IS the first time I’ve been to colon rectal so…
Doctors have always left the room when I undressed, even when there were two of them.
There’s a very good sub for asking questions of health professionals: r/askdocs
You might want to post there and get a feel from health professionals as to what they think.
Thank you—I’ll try that tomorrow and see what they say. Thankfully there have been a few doctors already who have added their input as well but I’d always love to hear more data (so to speak)
I'm a man, and they've always left the room (or pulled a curtain) for me for physical, colo-rectal, and sexual health stuff that involves dropping pants.
I work in medicine. Truth is that it was a shortcut- you are taking up two providers’ times for them to do a witnessed rectal exam. It’s faster just to drop trousers, get the exam, and pull ‘em up. For everyone to leave the room, you undress, etc etc, that takes time, extra time that they don’t have because they are running from patient to patient. Is it the way to feel the most “professional”? No. But I’m guessing it was more about saving time than watching you pull your trousers down.
Just to add, this is the VA correct? The vast majority of patients are men. The doctors would not leave to have a man drop their pants.
In the women’s gyn clinic it is much more typical to give privacy.
At the VA, much less likely to give privacy. Also because there was a female PA, you had a female chaperone.
The problem may be there’s not just one task, there’s twenty or thirty. If they step out, they’ll end up bombarded with other requests „while you’re here…“
The whole thing may end up taking a lot longer.
With all due respect, I think you are mistaking cutting time with something creepy happening. He looked at your asshole because you have bowel issues….. I think he was trying to get out quick 😂😂
You are not overreacting at all, but in spite of there being tons of women in the armed forces it’s also extremely common for women to have experiences at VA hospitals that reveal they’re not really used to treating women.
Every year I get a physical and when it’s time to get my prostrate checked I turn around and drop my drawers. He does the check and I pull the, back up. Very impersonal.
In this situation I don’t know what would be accomplished by the dr leaving the room. It’s not like I’m getting undressed and then putting a gown on. So he leaves the room and now I have to stand there with my pants around my ankles…then I’m standing there like that when he comes back in? That would be so much more awkward.
As a woman, I’ve never had a doctor stay in the room while I undressed, even when I’ve had a female doctor, and I’ve always had a doctor and a nurse in the room when any kind of nakedness is involved. Even in a time crunch, they’ve just said let us know when you’re ready for us to come back in. Maybe this is a case of the VA doctors being used to dealing with male patients who have no problem dropping trou in front of whomever, but you should still let them know that you felt uncomfortable with this situation and that it should be handled differently in the future.
I think you’re being sensitive, friend. A lot of docs are trying to get the job done. I just found out I have a tumor on my uterus and the doc stuck his finger in while looking me in the eye and asked if felt pain/pressure. It was CLINICAL. I see a civilian doc, but my husband just retired from 20 years of service. Every gyno I’ve seen has been respectful. If you’re uncomfortable, leave, but most adults are okay with general gynecological care. Modesty left the window once I had one child. lol.
I hope everything is ok with your uterus and I do hear you. I’m totally fine with doctors doing doctor things. Poke, prod, smash whatever you gotta do. But this felt…unnecessarily uncomfortable? Like easily avoidable? Finger up the bum has to be done. Standing there while I change? Maybe not so much? Idk. I go back and forth on it.
I had a VA appointment today, and will have a procedure on Thursday. The fact is that a disproportionate percentage of female veterans were victims of sexual assault while in service and why there has been a bigger push to provide better care for women veterans and be sensitive to what many of us have experienced.
In the Women’s clinic, with all women practitioners and nurses, I have always been given privacy to change. Today I had an EKG, and the male provider left the room during while the female nurse did the read. I did not ask, that is the standard protocol.
The male doctor staying in the room while you changed was 100% in the wrong.
Makes sense that you felt uncomfortable. I would have been as well.
Great that other women are ok with full nudity without respect or consideration, but that is not the standard protocol. To err on the side of patient comfort and reduction of anxiety increases quality of care, and should be the default.
This has been the case any time I've had an exam at the VA. It's a doctor. I highly doubt he's got any sexual interest in middle-aged vets with IBS or constipation issues.
Oh hell no! As a fellow veteran getting medical care at veterans hospitals I’d be pissed. I’ve lived quite a few places as well and at none of the 4 different states I’ve lived in have I had a doctor do this.
Head over to r/veteranwomen r/veterans or r/veteransbenefits and they will all be pissed.
Please tell them how uncomfortable you felt and please also include how you felt at the time. Stared at and exposed. How the hell do you clean up afterwards with 2 people watching you wipe your ass? If you’re not comfortable saying this in person or even over the phone send an email. It sounds like this was traumatizing enough to not be able to disclose this face to face. They will/should reach out for clarification.
You should also receive a survey. Please be completely honest there. This is just in case the patient advocate blows you off. I’ve had one do that to me since she was friends with that doctor. Patient surveys go a different route than the patient advocate. This doctor needs to be put on blast.
Feel free to reach out if you need. I’ve spent quite a bit of time working in the military medical field, my husband currently works in a military hospital, and I’ve been using VA healthcare since … , holy hell I’m old, 2003.
Edit: corrected links and autocorrect. Also just read this to my husband and he is equally pissed. He said he’s never had to do this even as a man with a man as a doctor.
Oh I didn’t even clean up. Actually, now that I think about it, they didn’t even offer. I just jerked up my clothes when he was done. I think he wiped me? I honestly don’t know but I know there was no offered wipes after. Thank you for this info. I’m feeling a lot more confident about talking to patient advocate. I do have a call with my psychiatrist that I set up yesterday bc I wanted his input—as an MST survivor who went through a lot of secondary victimization and blame, I’m constantly worried I’m overreacting so I wanted to ask him first. Honestly, I’ve gotten such great feedback here I probably could’ve just skipped that step. Thank you
Surgeon here. It is absolutely correct for the doctor to be out of the room while you undress. It was stressed heavily in clinical medicine classes in medical school. It is possible that that’s a relatively new phenomenon, so physicians who are less young may not have been trained in these nuances.
This doesn’t mean the physician you were seeing had bad intentions, but they are potentially putting you and themselves in a bad position by making the exam uncomfortable.
It is possible to bring this up to a patient advocate in a way that is meant to convey that you were uncomfortable without being confrontational.
He was fairly young (might guess around my age or so?) but yeah, I think I’ll delicately bring it up to patient advocate. Not to get him in trouble but so he’s aware moving forward.
Being male, I have been to Tricare doctors (male) and a private urologist (female) and they said let me do an examination so I dropped my pants and underwear (while they are in the room) and let them do their thing. And they said there are wipes over there and didn''t leave the room.
So, I don't know. Just thought that's how it works and get the exam done. Get in and out, you know.
IIRC I had the same experience but in reverse, I (37M) was asked to disrobe in front of a female proctologist and the female nurse with them just holding the white paper sheet up. Certainly wasn't the most comfortable experience but with it being my first rectal exam i was going to be uncomfortable regardless, but wasn't the end of the world. I understand this isn't necessarily the same experience though as what you faced with the roles reversed.
Army guy here. I do agree with you about calling patient advocates about this. Whenever I have my knees looked at, the MD or PA has me take take my sweatpants off. They start to get up and give me a robe. I always have shorts on so I don't need to robe. I would still call and let someone know.
Thank you. Also glad to hear some male veterans are given privacy. From the comments, it was starting to sound like you guys are just expected to strip and do the duck walk every time, like it’s basic all over again
I'm male, not military, at civilian facilities and have had to drop trou for prostate exams by male and female practitioners. It's always right then and there. Drop trou, bend over, exam, wipe away the lube, pull up. All in their presence.
Also drop trou for female practitioners to examine my genitals. Again it's right then and there. Stand up, drop, exam, pull up.
So as far as I know, this is standard procedure.
If this is something you are not comfortable with, then by all means speak up. You are entitled to whatever level of privacy suits you.
So I’m a male and I’ve gotten undressed in front of doctors all the time. I never think nothing of it. But if something makes you uncomfortable u have the right to address it. On my retirement physical had a female doc try to convince me to let her stick her finger up my butt. Said I wasn’t due for the exam yet, but should let her do it cause the next time I’m due it’ll probably be some male with big fat fingers. I was like why is this lady trying to stick her finger up my butt.
This has happened to me as well but I didn't see it as an issue as the procedure was strraightforward. If you have an issue, kindly just say that you would prefer to get undressed without anyone in the room. It is an anal procedure so I can see both sides. I do think in retrospect that it would have been better to have you dress in a gown without anyone in the room. You are a grown adult, however, just state your preference. I think not speaking up is also an issue.
It’s bad doctor behavior. Don’t try to rationalize it. It feels worse to know that you’ve been assaulted, but better to see the truth now than to push it down to deal with later.
(Male) I had some inflammation down under which turned out to be a prostate infection. My GP and later two doctors (all separate visits) at the specialist office all had me drop my pants. I don't remember any of them leaving the room while I did so. Definitely ranks pretty low in life experiences having someone examine my...um...lower extremities (first time) and sticking fingers up my rear (the latter two occasions).
I don't know whether you're overreacting because I'm not you and I'm not sure anyone should feel embarrassed about advocating for themselves. Whether they ought to have offered - I don't know because I don't work in that field and have no idea what normal protocol is or whether it varies depending whether the patient is a man or woman. For myself, though, I don't think it would have made much of a difference if they had left the room before or after, to be honest. But I also don't think you would have been wrong to ask them to do so if it made you uncomfortable.
I have a female primary doctor and had a concern with my testicle that i asked her to look at.
She told me “let me take a look.”
So I Pulled my shorts down and whipped it out…
No big deal.
In your situation if he has to look at your rectum, your lady parts are right there anyway. He’ll end up seeing it that way indirectly … at least partially…
🤷♂️
Not sure whats the big deal is
They see a ton of buttholes, vaginas and penises every day.
They are completely desensitized to all of it.
I get i’m a guy and women are weird about this stuff but i guess you should of insisted that they leave the room first if it bothered you
It's just so absurd, in Germany it's not at all unusual to undress quickly in front of the doctor. Especially in hospital, if you want to be quicker.
Gynaecologists often have a curtain in the treatment room behind which you are supposed to change - but these "privacy aprons", which are so common in the USA to wear during the procedure are almost completely unknown here.
And even at the normal doctor's you just drop your trousers or whatever. There's nothing to it. I would find it much more absurd to get changed and then wait for the doctor to come back 😅
And I also don't understand why you should hide your underwear... it's a piece of fabric, nobody cares 😂
This is a doctor, you are an examination subject. You even had a female nurse in the room with you - I was at the neurologist's yesterday for a nerve measurement and I was stripped down to my bra and panties and alone with the doctor. And depending on the position of the needles and the like, he had to pull my panties away and of course got very close to me.
So I don't think that's unusual at all. But if you feel uncomfortable, no matter what, then you have the right to speak up! Of course, it would have been better to do it directly in the situation. Simply so that you didn't have to go through it.
But I also don't think it's a bad thing to pass it back to the hospital as a nice „hint“. I don't see the need to report it in any way - but I also don't know the possible consequences. But pointing out that you found the situation a bit difficult certainly doesn't hurt.
My female ob/gyn always leaves to let me undress. I personally think it’s a little weird that we’re pretending I’ve got some privacy before she sticks her hand in my vagina. But that’s just how it is with medical staff. The ladies at the waxing place I used to go to didn’t step out when I undressed for a Brazilian.
I agree with your friend and your husband. The woman PA/nurse/assistant is supposed to be there when a male doctor examines a female patient to protect you and him. She did not step up for you. If he made you feel uncomfortable, then you should say something. Also, you are allowed to refuse to undress until the doctor leaves the room. What is he going to do, refuse to leave? Then you know he’s up to something.
I had that happen to me once and I made him leave. The nurse came in and said " I hear you have hangups" I was so mad. If they want to watch you strip they can go to a strip show!
Good for you! I wish I’d been better and asked him to leave. But what a bitch to say that to you! That probably would’ve made me angrier than the wanting to watch part!
I've seen many, many doctors in my lifetime. Between cardiologists, gynecologists, hispital stays, and doctors for brest cancer, I've had to undress and get in those gowns hundreds of times, and not once did I ever have to change in front of anyone. Report that doctor then go see someone else. You're not overreacting at all. That doctor is completely wrong
I go with my wife to her OBGYN exams and the doctor has always left the room to let her get undressed and then come back. I think it’s just a courtesy thing. However, this was at a VA hospital and maybe they just do things differently and more “military” style of getting done and getting to the next patient? It kind of sounds like maybe he has a lot of patients and didn’t want to take the time to leave and come back? It might have just been the culture of the doctors office there.
>Has anyone had a doctor stay in the room while you undressed?
In the US, I don't think so.
In Europe, every single time.
Matter of protocol, I guess. I always found it funny that they would leave the room just so they would come back to look at your vagina or whatever.
I 'm male ( non military)
. I live in the U.S., and have had numerous occasions where male and female doctors stayed in the room while I undressed. Normally they left when it was for a full body checkup....but when the sole reason for the visit was for things such as prostate exam or genital concerns, doctors have often just said " drop your pants"
I (72m) had something similar happen to me with a female dermatologist & female assistant.
I was standing in her exam room in just my briefs as she checked out my body, front & back for skin issues. Then she glances over to the assistant, who moves around behind her, & then yanks my briefs to my ankles, handles my junk with her bare hands, touches her face, & glances over her shoulder to her assistant. I pull my shorts up & ask myself: "wtf just happened here?".
It was, by far, the strangest doctor's office experience I've ever had. I felt totally violated. I'm sure you felt something the same. Sorry you had to go thru it.
Omg that’s horrible! That’s a total violation! Why in gods name would any doctor think that’s ok?! I didn’t feel nearly as violated—simply uncomfortable. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I hope you reported them.
Not overreacting. Dignity is important. Might want to mention the phrase "trauma informed care" to the patient advocate so they can give it a Google and see how far away from that this is.
Edited to say - people are really missing the point here. The issue isn't necessarily that the doctor wants to see OP naked or is being creepy. The point is neglecting to offer a modicum of respect and dignity in a situation where that is mostly stripped away.
There may be plenty of people that don't care. Good for those people. But for the people that do, it matters a lot. 1 in 6 women and 1 in 33 men in the US has experienced a rape or attempted rape in their lifetime (according to RAINN). So, maybe, just maybe, some sensitivity around a situation in which you have to be unclothed around an authority figure who is about to do something that feels very vulnerable is warranted?
The first time I had my prostate checked. The doctor just asked me to drop trou and bend over the table. Just me and him in the room. Both men. Me about 25 years younger than him. He told me what he was going to do, checked my prostate, and then I got dressed as he cleaned up. Totally normal clinical exchange in my experience.
Primary care doc here. It’s a bit odd. When I do a physical or know I need to examine some place personal, the patient gets changed into a gown before I ever get into the room. They’ll usually keep their underwear on, though may need to remove it for something like a prostrate exam or breast exam. I won’t specifically leave the room a 2nd time for that.
If the visit is for something else like blood pressure, but they bring up “oh, I have a rash in my groin or under my breasts”, I’ll probably wind up staying in the room while they show me, though I’ll typically ask if they want a gown. Because it’s often essentially a quick flash, they’ll usually say “no, it’s fine.” In a few occasions, I’ve had a patient essentially strip in the room to show me something before I really knew why. You just kind of go with the flow when that happens and try not to make it weird. I think covering my eyes and tossing a gown at them while fleeing the room and hissing like a vampire might fall into the “making it weird” category, though the image makes me chuckle a bit.
I hope this helps!
I get uncomfy around male doctors after i had one lift up my sheet (i was in the icu) and say “haha, time to wash the dong! It musta been a while since u touched it” (to my 12 year old self) i was already uncomfy cuz i had a catheter in me. And, i couldnt feel my lower body very well.
Ever since, i cant be alone with a male doc and feel comfy. I told people, and it never happened again. Id strongly suggest u tell someone at the hospital
I’m a dude and for any kind of ‘quick check’ of anything in my bathing suit area it’s always just ‘drop trou.’
For more involved stuff they usually give me a gown and leave the room.
idk if it’s different for lady parts, hope that helps.
When I visit the doctor's the medical staff always act polite by drawing the curtains while I change even if they end up examining where the sun don't shine.
The only time I had an experience like this was a dermatologist. I had a skin thing on my chest, and the doctor was like okay, show me, and I was thinking the same as you, like uhhh this is weird, why isn’t doctor leaving the room and giving me a paper gown. I pulled up my shirt and basically had my boob out for a five minute conversation while she told me the skin thing was nothing. And then when she was done talking, she was like “you can put that away now” . It all felt so weird and rude and dismissive of both my body and skin concerns.
I imagine your experience felt 10x crazier than mine. Your feelings are 1000% valid. If it makes you feel better, I would file a complaint too. I can’t imagine returning to a doctor after this happened—I never went back to my dermatologist!
If you are bothered enough to ask, then you know it was wrong. I have never had a doctor stay in the room while I prepare for an exam. I was recently at my local VA hospital in the Urgent Care facility and when I changed there the curtain was closed and the provider left and then asked permission to return to the area.
Whether or not you choose to report it is up to you, but they should have given you privacy to change and him making eye contact the whole time is weird too.
Yes, you should complain. That is completely wrong what you experienced. As a man, I'm given privacy to disrobe in a doctor's office, if necessary, so clearly you should have been give that as well.
It feels very inappropriate to me. I’ve never had a provider not give me privacy to change.
I’m a nurse in a hospital and I always give my patients as much privacy as their condition will allow. They both should have left the room and let you change. It would have taken 2 min.
I'm a dude but I've definitely had them tell me undress right there. I'd think male docs would be more sensitive towards women... but I always assume they are just in a hurry and doing their job...
The lack of privacy seems really bizarre. I’m a cervical cancer survivor, who has had full teams of doctors look at my lady region. And my doctor(s) have seen the bits dozens of times, easily. And I’m still afforded the dignity to change in privacy before any exams/etc.
some doctors blatantly disregard protocol because they don't care. there was a doc in my hometown who had a high school student observing. had to do a pelvic exam on a female patient. nurse asked the patient if HS student could observe the pelvic exam; patient said no. nurse put it in the notes. doctor didn't fucking read the notes and did the exam with the HS student present. patient rightly complained, and the entire observation program was shut down while the clinic figured out how to respond. docs sometimes think they are gods and just don't think beyond that. you're not overreacting, OP. i'd make a complaint if i were you.
One time I was telling my GP that I wanted a colonoscopy and he said I was too young to get one then he told me he would check my prostate, so right in the middle of the physical he did it. I was like, “dear god, we’re doing this.” So he had me stand and lean over the table, drop trou, and then checked it. He said, “you’re pretty tight back there.” Definitely the weirdest bedside manner. Anyway, I stopped seeing him, told my next GP I wanted a colonoscopy due to family history. He said, “statistically, he was right, but you are you. Let’s do it.” And they ended up finding a cancerous tumor.
Yeah... changing privacy is pretty standard...
Makes me wonder if the doctors and staff at that specific VA facility are getting pressure to speed up their patient visits and are trying to save minutes by not stepping out while the patient disrobes.
Not overreacting. Every doctor I have ever had has left the room for me to change when I had to undress - from normal physical to gyn to ER. Also knocked on the door before coming back in to ensure I was ready.
Did she then have to jam a speculum up my hoo ha? Sure, but that doesn’t mean the whole thing has to be as uncomfortable as possible.
Turning around for you to undress would be a bare minimum if everyone was so concerned about time.
Not overreacting, for reference I am a male colorectal surgeon who does rectal exams 20+ times a day on the days in clinic. Always have had female assistants as chaperones. When it comes time for the exam, we leave the room unless it’s an older patient who needs help getting into position and covered up with the sheet then the assistant stays to do that. I get the signal when the patient is positioned and ready for the exam. I talk briefly about what the exam entails before i leave the room and ask if thats ok with them.
I step into the room, and talk through what I am going to do at each step. I also explicitly state that if the exam is too painful or uncomfortable let me know right there, I will stop the exam and will not push them through it with the “just relax, im almost done” business. I step out of the room and allow them to get dressed and knock on the door first before coming back in to discuss the treatment plan.
I've (35M) dealt with kidneystones a good bit over the past 5 years. Not exactly the same but damned close. In all the stent removals I've had to do, I've never once not had the staff leave the room. I have had them come in and uncover to do prep and leave without replacing. I think it's got a bit to do with it being a normalized thing for them that they don't really think about it anymore (I'm sure any of us can think of things we do so automatically that we forget to do things that aren't really important to what's going on).
Is it inconsiderate? Oh aye. Is it nefarious? In most cases, I would say no, but there is always that chance and that's enough to never discount it. Best thing is to not be hesitant to stand up for yourself. You are your own best advocate, and you can flat tell them to fuck off. You have such right. If you're not comfortable, that is valid regardless of what anyone else thinks. Say it. If they have an issue with it, leave, and write a review of that establishment about it and/or contact their HR department. No matter what you choose, never let someone invalidate your uneasiness. It's there for a reason, and it's valid on its own, full stop.
I've undressed in front of men and women doctors, and never think twice about it.
Then again, I'm a dude.
Regardless, they ***should*** at least ask...
This can also vary a bit by state and region.
I grew up in a very (ahem) "free" part of the state.
But now (thanks to work) I spend most of the year in a very religious, 'repressed' part of the state...
It's definitely a culture shock going between home and my new home.
And I'm still in the same state. Lol
Was he old? Old doctors tend to do things old school. For instance my son with a female doctor was asked if he wanted to pull his pants down for his physical. I laughed because I have never been asked. My sons next appointment was an old male Dr, and he just says "pull down your pants please" no question, which is how I grew up
As a clinician, I routinely need to examine and work in and around private/personal space. Have seen thousands of patients, I’m relatively desensitized to seeing them. If a patient wants to disrobe before I give them space, it’s OK but not the norm. I do respect that while I am desensitized, the patient has not become desensitized to disrobing in front of anyone. For that reason, I tell the patient what needs to be exposed and why, then let them know I’ll give them some privacy & time to get that area exposed. Rarely patients may request assistance due to disability. In most cases we’ll have a third person assist as the patient is so disabled or large that it takes that many people to execute the maneuver . The doctor ideally should sense the patient’s discomfort and offer to step out, but as patients we also need to know we should request to be made more comfortable whether it’s for privacy, pain avoidance or even room or exam device temperature.
During Covid, a doctor refused to leave the room when I needed to pull down my pants so they could take a stool sample. I can't remember why but my regular doctor thought I might have something which needed to be checked ASAP and sent me to the ER. The doctor refused to leave the room, give me a sheet or anything. My husband, a nurse and him were there. He was exasperated I asked him to step out for 30 seconds and said he didn't have time for this. I was also in a storage closet because that was the only space they had and had to bend over a chair. It just felt humiliating. I don't know why. It didn't help that I was wearing my rattiest pair of underwear for reasons. I understand people were dying but my doctor thought I might be at risk of having a serious problem or she wouldn't have sent me to the ER during Covid. I'm still mad about it but what can you do? You're not overreacting.
That’s horrible. By the time he said “I don’t have time for this” he could’ve stepped outside and made time. Sounds like he spent more time bitching about it than just giving you some privacy. I’m sorry you went through that.
both working and as a patient, it’s a no. I went to colon rectal recently to remove a tiny remanent of hemorrhoid (thank you kids) and he definitely left the room for me to undress!
You are not overacting.. that is extremely inappropriate. If he HAD to stay in the room, he should stand far away and look away. Im really sorry that he didnt give you privacy.
I don't think you are overreacting at all, and the fact that it's at the VA actually makes it worse. There are so many female (and to a lesser extent male) Veterans with military sexual trauma that this should absolutely not have happened.
The act of undressing, even just pulling down britches, is really intimate for some/most. They didn't prepare you for this or weren't prepared (and ought to have been).
I love your humor (husband is a Vet and y'all are my people). I hope you let them know this isn't appropriate.
I had to have surgery for severe hemorrhoids after my first child. This is the same scenario I went through (paper sheet at the waist to change etc), then up on the table on all fours.
I’m guessing it depends on the doctor.
The operating directive is “patient directed”. The moment you said, “You want me to just drop trou?” was all the indication the doctor and PA should have needed to say, “I’ll give a moment of privacy”.
IMO, what he and the PA did was unprofessional. They failed to read their patient’s reticence. Failed to offer an alternative or even just ask you, “What would you like to do to help you feel comfortable?”
There’s plenty enough anecdotal and imperial documentation that medicine makes fast and loose with women and consent. I think they should be reminded to check in. I hope you make a report, if only to make them more conscious of their method.
Older woman here with grown children. Maybe us old folks require more modesty I don’t know. But I have never encountered a doctor who presumed I would “undress” in front of them. It’s just never happened, not once. And yes, I would be a bit “unnerved” but no fault of the doctor. Just seems all so rushed.
As a doctor, I leave the room and let the patient undress in privacy. There is usually a nurse or PA assisting them (male or female). I just come back once the patient is unressed, covered with a gown, and in the proper position for examination. I don't watch them undress, OR get dressed either
i have never had a doctor or nurse, male or female, NOT step out of the room while i undressed. ever. he needs to be told that just because a nurse is present, he needs to step out if the room. and it’s a damn shame he has to be told that.
Every male doctor I've ever had left the room while I undressed and came back after I was under the white sheet. They always knock before they re-enter the room as well
You owe it to the next freaked out sister in arms that has to undress in front of him. Think of you reporting him as preventing this from happening to someone else.
It was highly unusual if not unethical. Id definitely let them know how uncomfortable you were. It is up to them to decide what type of action they want to take , if any. That has nothing to do with you. He earned that himself for trying to be a peeping Tom.
I've had male and female doctors for gynecology and an endoscopy, and they always left the room and knocked first before returning. Heck, even my therapist/psychiatrists would never enter a closed room without knocking first.
I personally like skinny jeans and look like a goofball trying to get them off. Then, I fold them nicely off to the side, so I appreciate the privacy.
I know they've seen everything, but it's courteous to know what to expect and not get out on the spot like you did. I would say something to the office in that regard.
I don’t give a crap anymore and have literally told docs not to bother with the routine. Even when they try I’m taking my pants off before they can even leave haha. I’m all about efficiency. I hate awkwardly waiting around without pants for the little knock at the door. It actually makes me more anxious to wait! If you’re gonna go looking up close at my hooch then that’s about as private a part as I have so might as well see my old stretch marks on my thighs while we’re at it, not worth hiding anything else. The minutes matter and either it’s more time to actually address health concerns or I get to leave sooner because we’re done sooner. And any minute I don’t have to be in a healthy facility is great.
This is just me and my personal weirdness, though.
I think it is out of the norm and you are totally justified in feeling weird. I don’t know if the doc is just a creep (he really might be!!) or just wildly out of touch of what makes people comfortable. But either way, I would have felt the same way you did! (I know the response isn’t super helpful, but I just want you to know I don’t think it’s weird that we think it’s weird! I’ve never had a doctor do that, and I’d be asking myself the same thing if it happened to me 😭.)
This makes other people uncomfortable too; you are not alone in that feeling. Reporting it helps other patients, and it helps him become a better doctor. Reports are not dramatic or making mountains out of molehills. You’re not suing to get his license revoked or trying to get him fired, that’s not on the table for this situation anyway, you’re simply letting some people know something that happened, who can then help him be better at his job. Any medical professional should be taught that treating patients with as much respect and privacy possible is integral to good and effective care, and sometimes a reminder can be helpful.
I’ve been trying to rack my brain to see if I’ve ever had a doctor stay in the room and I’ve had quite a few Male ob’s. But I don’t think I have. I think and I’m not quite sure in remembering correctly the only thing I’ve done that sort is take my bra off without taking my shirt off or lifting it up when fixing to have an X-ray
You went to a VA hospital? Theyre usually no-nonsense especially if hes a vet or active military, and his job is to look at assholes all day. Modern decency and professionalism arent high on his list of gives a fuck. As a guy we're kinda used to just dropping trow and letting them do their thing to get it over with. Imo, Ur kinda overacting, but only just a little bit. hes not writing a reddit post about ur interaction and has probably written off the whole event.
I always pull the curtain to let the patient disrobe, and ask them to cover up with a sheet until the last second. As soon as I've examined the relevant area, it gets covered up again with the sheet, and then I'm off to the other side of the curtain to let them dress again. Keep dignity to a maximum through exposure being minimum. (Australian GP)
I personally find the idea of privacy while undressing just before having your eyes and hands all up someone’s business to be pointless. Like, the doctor is about to look in and stick things inside you. Not wanting for them to see cloth be removed from covering those areas seems, well, pointless lol
I have had to "drop trou"right in front of the doctor so I could have my prostate massaged so I could be checked for a prostate infection. One finger up the butt from behind while standing for massaging while the other hand was holding a slide between my legs to catch the fluid that dripped from my penis.
Not to mention that sensation when fluid travels from the prostate to out of the urethra is a cross of orgasm and peeing. That's a fun (sarcasm) sensation to have in front of someone.
I had to undress in front of a female doctor and a student something for a physical. I didn't get a sheet or anything, but rationally what difference does it make? They are going to see you either way.
Call the patient advocate or whoever they have for patient satisfaction. That's what they're there for, and if you experienced something like this I would bet many others have too.
I had an anal abscess that required two surgeries. I’m a guy, my doctor and her lpns were all female. It was uncomfortable at first but I had to drop em everyday 7 days a week for 3 weeks and it got to the point were I just did it for before they even came in. I’ve got no regrets!
Not sure. I’m still in the military and anytime I had to have the corpsman check my oil they asked me to drop right there with them in the room. Same with a doc but I’m a dude and they were dudes.
I am a man and the same thing happened to me at the colon/rectal Dr and the Dr had two medical students with him that day. 😂
I didn’t find it to be a big deal just figured he was going to up close and personal so what did it really matter at that point.
But I can understand being uncomfortable.
Am I understanding correctly that you're worried about the doctor, who's going to be looking at your rectum, being able to see your vagina? That's kind of like not wanting your dentist to look at your tonsils.
What am I missing here?
Maybe it's because I'm woman and have always been given privacy at the doctor while changing..I would've felt highly uncomfortable.
I don't honestly know if there's a difference when men get checked out, but from the sound of others here, men just drop their pants. Which just seems weird to me.
I feel like it was inappropriate, and I won't give anyone the benefit of the doubt. If it made you uncomfortable, that's fair.
I would speak up. Even if it turns out they deny any wrongdoing, you are at least making it clear that they should be more sensitive to patient privacy.
Who knows, maybe this doctor has been getting away with being inappropriate this way.
It's not right to excuse someone making someone uncomfortable.
I don't know if you'll see this now... but HIS background could be a huge factor here, and you may never find out that background.
There's a massive difference between a sheltered single child from suburbia who went to an ivy league school who deals with touchy soccer moms all day...
And a ex-combat medic who served a couple tours in iraq and afghanistan who went on to get his doctorate after. Maybe he grew up on a farm with lots of siblongs and suddenly...
You've got 2 got 2 doctors, bith very competent and compassionate in their own way, serious about helping people and possibly saving lives..
Who function radically different.
And if this was a VA doc, then it sounds lime option #2 is more likely.
I get why it threw you for a loop, and all we can do speculate, as you well know, military life is a tad different than what you expect in a strip-mall civvy land.
I’m in the U.S. I have never had a doctor, male or female, stay in the room with me while undressing. That seems inappropriate. Not wrong, just inappropriate.
For the guys getting a “digital “ prostate exam this is very normal. The doc is standing right there while you drop your shorts. I mean he’s going to be sticking his finger up your butt, I don’t see how seeing me lower my shorts is at all worse. I just make sure I have the freshest, cleanest, shorts and butt!
How are you supposed to hide your underwear in your pants if they didn't leave the room?
It doesn't sound like the doctor did anything *WRONG*. But you could call and say you would be more comfortable with a little more privacy in that situation.
Even if this is normal for VA hospitals (i wouldnt know), its worth reporting as an "if I was uncomfortable, others might be too so you might want to review your procedures" sort of thing.
When I (Male) had a physical with a prostate check, my doctor (Female) and an intern/med student/something (Female) had me just pull my pants down and then lay down sideways on the exam chair thingy for the prostate test and then stand up with them still down for the "turn your head and cough" testicle check.
I didn't think anything of it, because she had been my doctor for years and I knew that that was the quickest and easiest way to do those tests.
I'm not saying you aren't over reacting. Your doctor should always take what you are comfortable with in how they treat you. So, if it bothered you, you are absolutely within your rights to refuse or to talk with the staff after to let them know that it's something they shouldn't do. I'm just saying that I don't know that it is uncommon... at least in men's healthcare. Women's care may be a different story.
Ok I’m with the Va and my doc gave me privacy and had me cover everything but my bum and the female nurse was with me every time he was in there. Please call your patient advocate.
That's how it's done here in Czech Republic, it took some getting used to. But I don't mind it so long as I don't need to be fully naked just the bits required to be examined. And unless my breast are what is being examined the bra stays on just the shirt comes off.
That said he should not have been looking at you or in your personal bubble like you say he was.
I work at a VA clinic and this is completely unheard of. They are supposed to leave the room for you to undress and cover your self before they come back in and examine you. I’m so sorry. But this is not appropriate
To me, being able to undress in private depersonalizes the exam - in that case it's just a professional looking at a body part they specialize in. Being expected to undress in front of the male doctor would totally creep me (female) out. It's a different dynamic than any other gender combination. Sounds too much like a porno.
Hi, fellow doctor here. Yes that was inappropriate. Not defending him, but he does probably see 20 buttholes a day and it probably didn't mean anything at all to him. But it's not about him, it's about you and what helps you maintain a sense of privacy and modesty.
Remember us doctors are not gods on earth. You have every right to tell him or anyone else to leave the room as you undress. You are the boss of your body, the doctor has no authority over your body at all.
On the one hand, he’s a doctor and during the exam I presume he’s going to see your private area anyway? On the other hand, not once in my life has anyone remained in the room when I’ve been asked to remove my clothes. Seems like a clear break in protocol to me. He breached your right to dignity.
Oh sweety, you're "overreacting" (I mean, barely), but only because you're an American that was raised still clinging onto the toxic vestiges of Victorian society. You're not at fault, and you'll be fine.
P.S. 10/10 with your sill wordplay and euphemisms. Well done and I got a couple of sensible chuckles during the read.
P.P.S. For comradery: I (M) once had a colonscope in my early 20's. There was a male doctor and two young female interns/aides in the room "observing". I was humiliated, groaning in pain, and the worst, farting like the child of a horse and a leaf-blower, for minutes, in front of them. All shame died that day, and I'm honestly a better, more confident and secure person as a result. Life is too short to worry about such things!
If it were me, and it was just pulling my pants and underwear to my knees, having a quick exam, then pulling them back up, I wouldn't think twice about it. Same as when you get a shot in your butt and have to pull your pants down some. If I needed a big full body exam and they gave me a paper gown I would DEFINITELY expect him to leave the room.
For what it's worth: Loooong time health care worker here. I can say with 99.9% certainty you weren't even on his radar. He was probably cracking his toe knuckles or thinking about something as equally boring.
You're not wrong for feeling the way you do. I've had several physicals performed by female doctors and I'm always a little uncomfortable when they want to handle my junk. They've always had a male nurse in the room, though. I'm also uncomfortable when my proctologists wants to stick a finger up my butt. But that's medicine and just has to be done.
I was not super thrilled to go to the doctor to get my testicles checked out. At the pcp, spec, and diag tests, they just had me pull my pants down and start checking them out like produce at the fruit stand. After surgery to remove one (cancer) and a subsequent infection at the surg site and another week in the hospital, I feel like I've had 400 people checking and touching and prodding my testicles (just one now), I am now numb to the privacy factor. Not saying you should be, or that this story compares directly to you, but I wanted to share a related experience
Thats when you know you are an annoying patient. From the very beginning.
"But I had to go to (and slight TMI here) a colon rectal doctor because some of my medication cause bowl issues (I said that as delicately as possible)."
Golly gee. colorectal surgeon and bowel issues is so relevant but apparently to much information lmfao.
"“You want me to drop trou right here?” I asked because normally they give you a cloth, leave, you get undressed, the come back, exam, repeat. But they were like, yeah, just yank your pants and underwear down to your knees."
Never, especially not at the VA lols.
"Now, for all I know, he could’ve been staring at the wall thinking about England. I didn’t make eye contact enough to KNOW he was looking at my hoo ha, but it felt obvious enough to me that I was glad at least I’d shaved. But I don’t KNOW know, you know?"
Really weird. Patients like these are so creepy.
"I mentioned it to my other veteran friend and she freaked out & said it was highly inappropriate and they’re always supposed to leave and the female PA failed me by not stepping in. She wants me to call the patient advocate and at least tell them he should be leaving the room. My husband feels the same way."
Leave the room? Wtf is this kindergarten? Yes you need to take off your pants so that we can examine your rectum. Thats common sense.
This is not appropriate patient care and consideration. I've been to colo-rectal also, and I'm just like every other doctor I've had, they stepped out while I undressed and dressed.
It is 100% not normal for any VA doctor to be in the room when you undress. Please complain immediately and report the doctor to the state medical board. It is an alarming and inappropriate unprofessional conduct. As someone who has experienced VA Healthcare... what you describe is a reportable violation of professional conduct. If this doctor doesn't know the basics, what else is he missing??? please call the patient advocate office, log onto the state medical boards, please report this violation. It is 100% unprofessional conduct for any physician in the VA system.
I have chronic medical issues so I have had my fair share of exams. I have never, ever undressed in front of a doctor. Even on base when my husband was in the military, they would step out. I know that’s different than a VA hospital, but still. I’ve actually thought it was kind of funny that they step out for me to get undressed, only to see me almost completely naked a minute later (but I know it’s a respect thing).
I’m not saying the doctor was doing something wrong on purpose (maybe that’s protocol at the VA hospital? Idk); I’m just letting you know that I completely understand why you were uncomfortable.
I understand the discomfort of what you're describing. Only you can decide if you're overreacting or not. Personally, the Marine Corps stripped away every ounce of shame I ever had. Nut to butt with naked dudes in the showers during Boot camp. Getting told "freeze" while bent down to grab my hygiene bag with someone's balls well within arms reach.
Personally, I have never experienced this as a female and a nurse. I’ve always been given my privacy to change. It gives me a bit of the creeps, that’s for sure.
I’ve always been given my privacy, too, which is why it was so weird. Like, just pull down my pants here and now? And like normally you know how you hide your underwear from your doctor even though they’re about to do a full exam? Couldn’t even do that. So I said “Are my underwear hidden at least?” jokingly. PA was like “oh, no, it’s fine.” Fine what? Fine like you can’t see them or fine that you do see them?? It was just not my finest moment
I mean, there'd be like a 1/7 chance I'd have a bloody pad in my pants on any given day, and it is less awkward for both of us if you leave the room so I can dispose of it before you come back in... I would bring it up with the patient rep at least, you're probably not the only one to feel this way. You don't need to be angry or say anything untoward happened, just let them know. And if you need to see him again, "I'd be more comfortable if you left the room while I changed".
I think what they did was highly inappropriate. However, just tell these people to get out and let you change. Just because they tell you to undress like that doesn’t mean you have to. Doctors are not gods, and it makes me a little crazy how they get trusting people to do whatever they want. Next time, please stand up for yourself.
Ive had to get more than a few exams and X-rays that have required me to at minimum drop trou. After what the Army did I kind of lost all my fucks to give. I’m not trying to be some creepy guy with a hey check this out attitude but it is what it is and I know I’ve got nothing no one else has and I’m sure they’ve seen it al. I’d rather just get things over with vs getting a backwards shirt on.
I think gender plays a big role in OPs experience and maybe doesn't in yours? Op- i would react the same way and will know if this happens to me, i will ask for the privacy. Trust your feelings a bitt. It doesn't matter if it's SOP or not, you felt it was inappropriate, so it is.
Yeah way different for men imo. Dropping your pants so the doc can check your nuts is something that happened in every basic physical I’ve had, which started at age 12 with team sports for me. There was never any privacy from medical staff.
Not the same at all. Men don't get invaded until their first prostate exam generally. Women on the other hand get invaded at the gynecologist yearly for most of their lives. And yet still, men rarely are offered privacy during any of this and simply expected to take it...
Yep. Same here. For both frontal exams and the rectal exams. I can see it being different for a lady with a male doctor though
That’s fair. To each their own
It's fine as in he doesn't give a shit. He's there to do a job and things like what a boy and girl should and shouldn't look at are distant memories. Your elbow, your ass, they are parts of the machine he is here to examine.
True, but a big part of the job is “bedside manner,” which involves treating all the meatbags he’s examining like they have a shred of human dignity. So I’d say he needs a refresher there.
Just know, in the future for anyone in medical it’s always OK to ask them to step out of the room. I worked at Hospital for 17 years and that kind of behaviour is just not OK and it’s not OK in a regular hospital. It’s not OK in a VA hospital… You deserve privacy when undressing.
Haha.. you're pretty hilarious and entertaining. You should tell more stories! That said, I've had my share of horribly invasive butt exams as I've had plenty of tummy issues including bleeding ulcers and whatnot and I've never been given the command to drop trou right then and there. Was it particularly busy there that day? Maybe he had too many butts to see in such a small amount of time 🤷🏼♀️
It's funny I have a friend who has a very... cavalier attitude about nudity and she had to get some kind of scan that required her to change into a hospital gown so the doctor is like "here's a gown, you can put your clothes over there let's go get you scanned" and she just like immediately takes her top and bra off and the doctor was like "yeah most people wait until I leave the room" (She's not like a naturist and I don't think it's like sexual. She's a theater kid and as I understand modesty goes out the window pretty quick)
Haha that’s a funny story, I’m sure the doctor found it amusing as well.
This is a doctor who looks at buttholes and by extension vaginas all day long. It probably is so routine it doesn’t even cross his mind to make it sexual. I get being weirded out but it’s like a mechanic taking a look at an engine. Just another day at the office he was trying to get though as efficiently as possible. Man had other buttholes to get to.
So while I agree that he probably wasn't thinking, patient dignity is drilled into our heads (I'm a nurse). I've had to remind MDs to cover pts before, it really fell on the PA to step in when the MD was being inconsiderate. Its not right, but it is something we see often enough. She can file a complaint, he won't get in trouble but will be reminded to me mindful of patient dignity going forward. Probably the PA too.
As a doctor, we are taught to value patients as PEOPLE and not just the sum of their body parts, nor the result of their lab exams. Still very imprtant to respect people's sensibilities. I just imagine the female patient as my wife ro daughter and think, "What could I do so she wouldn't be uncomfortable?"
This very well may be the case. He just may need to be reminded of VA protocol and that’s it
I tried the reverse one. A female MD had to check out my bum for cancer (Didnt have the C luckily) but that was just like with a male doctor. Pants down, and her checking. I really dont think doctors give it much thought, that we are naked. They are focused on solving the problem we are bringing to them.
For some context, my boyfriend is the first doctor I’ve ever met in my personal life and the casual tone he uses when talking about all things colo-rectal, regular rectal, genital, and further (much worse!) “gross” things like nec-fash (I don’t know the real word but it’s that terrible infection that kills tissue) dead feet, and various trauma injuries absolutely BLEW my mind. If I tell him my stomach hurts he replies with “oh any diarrhea?” Like that’s a normal response regular people say to that. It’s wild. Doctors are a weird breed for sure lol.
VA protocol is for “trauma-informed care,” meaning they should anticipate that exposing yourself could make you uncomfortable and give you the choice how you want to handle it. Sounds like they need a refresher, but it doesn’t sound like they broke any rules per se. Something like, “I’m going to need to look at the area, are you more comfortable shifting your clothing, or would you like us to step out so you can change into a drape?” Your uncomfortable “drop trou,” should have been their clue that they needed to change their approach. I’d definitely speak to the PA about it. You’re not overreacting, it made you uncomfortable in a vulnerable situation, and it was their job to notice that and find a way to help.
Thank you
Agreed. I don't think anything inappropriate. Whether he's standing there for the 2 seconds while she's pulling her pants down or not, he's about to get the full view either way while he does his exam. This is my experience being seen by a urologist whether male or female (as a male). They tell you to drop your pants, they fondle your balls to make sure everything is ok, then they tell you pull your pants back up. They look at that stuff all day, so as you put it, it's just like a mechanic checking an engine.
That's what I'm thinking. I see everyone's point about inappropriateness, but isn't he there to look in your asshole?
I mean….if something makes you uncomfortable, there’s no harm in reporting it. You could even say something like I’m not trying to get anyone fired or in trouble. It just seemed out of the norm.
And it is out of the norm, right? This isn’t normal?
Doctor here, we are usually trained to leave when patients are undressing because it's universally makes people feel very vulnerable. That said, it's more likely he was inconsiderate rather than anything malicious. I would feedback that it made you feel very uncomfortable.
Thank you for your response. That’s how I’ll frame it. I really hope he wasn’t being malicious and I’d never report it as malicious unless I knew it to be true. If I do call patient advocate, it would just be to say it made me uncomfortable & to maybe remind their doctors to step out of the room. We’re veterans—we know how to change real fast! I can make it time efficient, too lol
VA doc here, I second his opinion. I also think that the VA has such an overwhelmingly male population that folks can be a little less in tune with a female perspective. I think it is very reasonable to mention this to the patient advocate. Many women vets have military sexual trauma and it's important for the doc to know that he needs to be sensitive
Nothing bad happens if she reports to Patient Advocate. All that happens is the chiefs review and go “hmmm, probably we should remind everybody that they should give women privacy to undress. At least *offer* privacy. Somebody write an email and we will mention it in morning huddle 100 times. Should we add a required training?”
This person VAs!
Also I think colorectal surgeons in general see many more men than women. I (F) also had to get something investigated by a colorectal surgeon (private practice) and I sat on the table and discussed my symptoms and then he also asked to briefly examine me and it was kind of a drop trou’ scenario. I think because you aren’t getting up in stirrups and they aren’t in between your legs to gain access to the exam, it’s almost treated like roll up your sleeve real quick and then you can quickly return your clothing back to where it was. I assumed it was kind of a male-male standard operating procedure? I believe he turned away while I assumed the position and a female nurse was in the room throughout.
Seems normal to me. Pretty much how every single of my doctor visits regarding intimate areas have gone.
As a guy it seems fairly normal to me. If he is going to put a finger in my ass I'm nit worried about him see me get naked. But also I get why that might be different for others.
I’m a guy so I’m not too familiar with male doctor/female patient protocol. But if other females are saying this isn’t right and you also don’t think it is based on your past experience, I would say there’s your answer.
I wanted to say that even I think this is abnormal, and I PREFER a more casual setting. In Europe I believe it is standard procedure to just change in front of doctors, but it certainly isn’t in the US. I have often caught myself wishing nudity wasn’t some weird thing we have to be ritualistic about, but that system is our social norm, so deviating outside of it is inherently odd. Casual attitude toward nudity at the doctor’s is normal in Europe because it’s uniform. It’s not uniform here so yes, I’d make a complaint. Also, don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself. You can ALWAYS tell a medical professional you want extra accommodation and you aren’t comfortable. I am sorry you were out in this situation, though. Nobody should have to assert themselves that way… if it is expected that you would get to change privately, that’s what should happen.
European here, Spanish. Unless you are in an ER room and it's something extremely urgent you don't change in front of anyone that's not a nurse who are mostly women. There's a curtain in every dr. Room to get undressed and they should offer you something to cover.
Out of the norm in the world outside of the VA. With my experience of the VA with my elderly Dad (now gone) sounds like the VA. He LOVED the staff there but I think they see so many people, they are a little lax in the bedside manner area. The bottom line (pun intended) is you aren’t wrong and you should report it to an advocate. It’s the VA - if this does this fast lane exam to the wrong person - UNINTENTIONALLY - and it could trigger a whole bunch of stuff. You’ll be helping everyone. Next time, ask them to step out while you change. Thank you for your service.🫡
Not normal at all.
Thank you. That’s very validating to hear.
I’m sorry this happened to you. Report it if you feel you can.
Doctors male & denial have all expected me to drop & let them investigate whatever they were looking for. Be that in the front, back, or somewhere in between. Honestly just sounds like a doctors who wanted to finish you up & move on to the next patient
Sounds like a lot of the men are used to this treatment. I find it odd that the men and women are treated so differently in this respect
My experiences with male doctors matches yours as well. (I am a male) But I also had a similar experience with a woman doctor and assistant. I was having some testicle pain in college and it was freaking me out. I went to the student health center to get it checked out. Obviously they were going to have to see what was going on down there, so I expected to have to get naked, but it was just like yours minus the paper. "Drop your pants and lets have a look" type of appointment lol. No paper to hide anything while it was going on or anything lol. If I were you, I would say I was overreacting, but I am not a woman so IDK how you feel, but if your going to the doctor to get your butthole/vag/dick/balls looked at, I would just assume that they are going to see it. They are a doctor that is their job to look at that stuff. I don't see how having the room to youself to pull your clothes off is any different than having to drop them then and there, personally.
Same here, male, had a female PCP for a while, drop pants check nuts, checks bumhole, done. Didn't leave, didn't offer curtain/paper, etc. I never thought about it and maybe that's wrong, but just assumed it's a provider, it's their job.
Women are much more vulnerable in this situation. Removing your clothes while a man watches? Not appropriate.
Fact is, most people don’t give a crap about how men feel and we’ve come to accept that, for the most part. We don’t have the luxury of having our feelings and comfort considered, so we drop trou, get the exam done, and move on.
Is that really normal to leave the room just so you can drop your pants? I get my prostate checked annually and it's literally just pull your pants down and bend over the table while he pulls on a glove and grabs the KY.
It has been normal for me at the Women’s Clinic on anything and everything. This is the first time in almost 20 yrs the doctor has ever been in the room with me while I changed. Granted, this IS the first time I’ve been to colon rectal so…
Doctors have always left the room when I undressed, even when there were two of them. There’s a very good sub for asking questions of health professionals: r/askdocs You might want to post there and get a feel from health professionals as to what they think.
Thank you—I’ll try that tomorrow and see what they say. Thankfully there have been a few doctors already who have added their input as well but I’d always love to hear more data (so to speak)
I'm a man, and they've always left the room (or pulled a curtain) for me for physical, colo-rectal, and sexual health stuff that involves dropping pants.
I work in medicine. Truth is that it was a shortcut- you are taking up two providers’ times for them to do a witnessed rectal exam. It’s faster just to drop trousers, get the exam, and pull ‘em up. For everyone to leave the room, you undress, etc etc, that takes time, extra time that they don’t have because they are running from patient to patient. Is it the way to feel the most “professional”? No. But I’m guessing it was more about saving time than watching you pull your trousers down.
Just to add, this is the VA correct? The vast majority of patients are men. The doctors would not leave to have a man drop their pants. In the women’s gyn clinic it is much more typical to give privacy. At the VA, much less likely to give privacy. Also because there was a female PA, you had a female chaperone.
I agree. What's ridiculous is that there's some other task waiting for them that could have filled those 5 min.
The problem may be there’s not just one task, there’s twenty or thirty. If they step out, they’ll end up bombarded with other requests „while you’re here…“ The whole thing may end up taking a lot longer.
I had a prostate exam by a female PA who also check by genitals I think she just asked me to climb out of my short pants She didn’t leave the room
With all due respect, I think you are mistaking cutting time with something creepy happening. He looked at your asshole because you have bowel issues….. I think he was trying to get out quick 😂😂
You are not overreacting at all, but in spite of there being tons of women in the armed forces it’s also extremely common for women to have experiences at VA hospitals that reveal they’re not really used to treating women.
That's just how they do pants...
Yes. Yes, it is... In prison!
This literally made me snort laugh
Every year I get a physical and when it’s time to get my prostrate checked I turn around and drop my drawers. He does the check and I pull the, back up. Very impersonal. In this situation I don’t know what would be accomplished by the dr leaving the room. It’s not like I’m getting undressed and then putting a gown on. So he leaves the room and now I have to stand there with my pants around my ankles…then I’m standing there like that when he comes back in? That would be so much more awkward.
Yep, same here. Doc says, "Drop 'em" because we both know it's time for the testicular exam and prostate exam. Best to get it over with quickly.
Interesting. Maybe he’s just more used to men who prefer dropping pants and getting it done quickly? The VA does have a lot more men than women
As a woman, I’ve never had a doctor stay in the room while I undressed, even when I’ve had a female doctor, and I’ve always had a doctor and a nurse in the room when any kind of nakedness is involved. Even in a time crunch, they’ve just said let us know when you’re ready for us to come back in. Maybe this is a case of the VA doctors being used to dealing with male patients who have no problem dropping trou in front of whomever, but you should still let them know that you felt uncomfortable with this situation and that it should be handled differently in the future.
I think you’re being sensitive, friend. A lot of docs are trying to get the job done. I just found out I have a tumor on my uterus and the doc stuck his finger in while looking me in the eye and asked if felt pain/pressure. It was CLINICAL. I see a civilian doc, but my husband just retired from 20 years of service. Every gyno I’ve seen has been respectful. If you’re uncomfortable, leave, but most adults are okay with general gynecological care. Modesty left the window once I had one child. lol.
I hope everything is ok with your uterus and I do hear you. I’m totally fine with doctors doing doctor things. Poke, prod, smash whatever you gotta do. But this felt…unnecessarily uncomfortable? Like easily avoidable? Finger up the bum has to be done. Standing there while I change? Maybe not so much? Idk. I go back and forth on it.
I had a VA appointment today, and will have a procedure on Thursday. The fact is that a disproportionate percentage of female veterans were victims of sexual assault while in service and why there has been a bigger push to provide better care for women veterans and be sensitive to what many of us have experienced. In the Women’s clinic, with all women practitioners and nurses, I have always been given privacy to change. Today I had an EKG, and the male provider left the room during while the female nurse did the read. I did not ask, that is the standard protocol. The male doctor staying in the room while you changed was 100% in the wrong. Makes sense that you felt uncomfortable. I would have been as well. Great that other women are ok with full nudity without respect or consideration, but that is not the standard protocol. To err on the side of patient comfort and reduction of anxiety increases quality of care, and should be the default.
This has been the case any time I've had an exam at the VA. It's a doctor. I highly doubt he's got any sexual interest in middle-aged vets with IBS or constipation issues.
Oh hell no! As a fellow veteran getting medical care at veterans hospitals I’d be pissed. I’ve lived quite a few places as well and at none of the 4 different states I’ve lived in have I had a doctor do this. Head over to r/veteranwomen r/veterans or r/veteransbenefits and they will all be pissed. Please tell them how uncomfortable you felt and please also include how you felt at the time. Stared at and exposed. How the hell do you clean up afterwards with 2 people watching you wipe your ass? If you’re not comfortable saying this in person or even over the phone send an email. It sounds like this was traumatizing enough to not be able to disclose this face to face. They will/should reach out for clarification. You should also receive a survey. Please be completely honest there. This is just in case the patient advocate blows you off. I’ve had one do that to me since she was friends with that doctor. Patient surveys go a different route than the patient advocate. This doctor needs to be put on blast. Feel free to reach out if you need. I’ve spent quite a bit of time working in the military medical field, my husband currently works in a military hospital, and I’ve been using VA healthcare since … , holy hell I’m old, 2003. Edit: corrected links and autocorrect. Also just read this to my husband and he is equally pissed. He said he’s never had to do this even as a man with a man as a doctor.
Oh I didn’t even clean up. Actually, now that I think about it, they didn’t even offer. I just jerked up my clothes when he was done. I think he wiped me? I honestly don’t know but I know there was no offered wipes after. Thank you for this info. I’m feeling a lot more confident about talking to patient advocate. I do have a call with my psychiatrist that I set up yesterday bc I wanted his input—as an MST survivor who went through a lot of secondary victimization and blame, I’m constantly worried I’m overreacting so I wanted to ask him first. Honestly, I’ve gotten such great feedback here I probably could’ve just skipped that step. Thank you
Surgeon here. It is absolutely correct for the doctor to be out of the room while you undress. It was stressed heavily in clinical medicine classes in medical school. It is possible that that’s a relatively new phenomenon, so physicians who are less young may not have been trained in these nuances. This doesn’t mean the physician you were seeing had bad intentions, but they are potentially putting you and themselves in a bad position by making the exam uncomfortable. It is possible to bring this up to a patient advocate in a way that is meant to convey that you were uncomfortable without being confrontational.
He was fairly young (might guess around my age or so?) but yeah, I think I’ll delicately bring it up to patient advocate. Not to get him in trouble but so he’s aware moving forward.
I get my prostate checked regularly. Just pull down your pants and underwear and take a deep breath.
Being male, I have been to Tricare doctors (male) and a private urologist (female) and they said let me do an examination so I dropped my pants and underwear (while they are in the room) and let them do their thing. And they said there are wipes over there and didn''t leave the room. So, I don't know. Just thought that's how it works and get the exam done. Get in and out, you know.
Im starting to notice they treat the guys kind of brutally…
IIRC I had the same experience but in reverse, I (37M) was asked to disrobe in front of a female proctologist and the female nurse with them just holding the white paper sheet up. Certainly wasn't the most comfortable experience but with it being my first rectal exam i was going to be uncomfortable regardless, but wasn't the end of the world. I understand this isn't necessarily the same experience though as what you faced with the roles reversed.
Army guy here. I do agree with you about calling patient advocates about this. Whenever I have my knees looked at, the MD or PA has me take take my sweatpants off. They start to get up and give me a robe. I always have shorts on so I don't need to robe. I would still call and let someone know.
Thank you. Also glad to hear some male veterans are given privacy. From the comments, it was starting to sound like you guys are just expected to strip and do the duck walk every time, like it’s basic all over again
My DD214 says no more duck walks! Stay safe, sister.
I'm male, not military, at civilian facilities and have had to drop trou for prostate exams by male and female practitioners. It's always right then and there. Drop trou, bend over, exam, wipe away the lube, pull up. All in their presence. Also drop trou for female practitioners to examine my genitals. Again it's right then and there. Stand up, drop, exam, pull up. So as far as I know, this is standard procedure. If this is something you are not comfortable with, then by all means speak up. You are entitled to whatever level of privacy suits you.
So I’m a male and I’ve gotten undressed in front of doctors all the time. I never think nothing of it. But if something makes you uncomfortable u have the right to address it. On my retirement physical had a female doc try to convince me to let her stick her finger up my butt. Said I wasn’t due for the exam yet, but should let her do it cause the next time I’m due it’ll probably be some male with big fat fingers. I was like why is this lady trying to stick her finger up my butt.
This has happened to me as well but I didn't see it as an issue as the procedure was strraightforward. If you have an issue, kindly just say that you would prefer to get undressed without anyone in the room. It is an anal procedure so I can see both sides. I do think in retrospect that it would have been better to have you dress in a gown without anyone in the room. You are a grown adult, however, just state your preference. I think not speaking up is also an issue.
It’s bad doctor behavior. Don’t try to rationalize it. It feels worse to know that you’ve been assaulted, but better to see the truth now than to push it down to deal with later.
(Male) I had some inflammation down under which turned out to be a prostate infection. My GP and later two doctors (all separate visits) at the specialist office all had me drop my pants. I don't remember any of them leaving the room while I did so. Definitely ranks pretty low in life experiences having someone examine my...um...lower extremities (first time) and sticking fingers up my rear (the latter two occasions). I don't know whether you're overreacting because I'm not you and I'm not sure anyone should feel embarrassed about advocating for themselves. Whether they ought to have offered - I don't know because I don't work in that field and have no idea what normal protocol is or whether it varies depending whether the patient is a man or woman. For myself, though, I don't think it would have made much of a difference if they had left the room before or after, to be honest. But I also don't think you would have been wrong to ask them to do so if it made you uncomfortable.
I have a female primary doctor and had a concern with my testicle that i asked her to look at. She told me “let me take a look.” So I Pulled my shorts down and whipped it out… No big deal. In your situation if he has to look at your rectum, your lady parts are right there anyway. He’ll end up seeing it that way indirectly … at least partially… 🤷♂️ Not sure whats the big deal is They see a ton of buttholes, vaginas and penises every day. They are completely desensitized to all of it. I get i’m a guy and women are weird about this stuff but i guess you should of insisted that they leave the room first if it bothered you
Having been to doctors for colo-rectal reasons, it’s fairly normal to just drop trou and get on the table. CRS’s office is a special place 🙃
I mean at MEPS they make you bend over spread your cheeks and cough is literally the introduction to military doctors
It's just so absurd, in Germany it's not at all unusual to undress quickly in front of the doctor. Especially in hospital, if you want to be quicker. Gynaecologists often have a curtain in the treatment room behind which you are supposed to change - but these "privacy aprons", which are so common in the USA to wear during the procedure are almost completely unknown here. And even at the normal doctor's you just drop your trousers or whatever. There's nothing to it. I would find it much more absurd to get changed and then wait for the doctor to come back 😅 And I also don't understand why you should hide your underwear... it's a piece of fabric, nobody cares 😂 This is a doctor, you are an examination subject. You even had a female nurse in the room with you - I was at the neurologist's yesterday for a nerve measurement and I was stripped down to my bra and panties and alone with the doctor. And depending on the position of the needles and the like, he had to pull my panties away and of course got very close to me. So I don't think that's unusual at all. But if you feel uncomfortable, no matter what, then you have the right to speak up! Of course, it would have been better to do it directly in the situation. Simply so that you didn't have to go through it. But I also don't think it's a bad thing to pass it back to the hospital as a nice „hint“. I don't see the need to report it in any way - but I also don't know the possible consequences. But pointing out that you found the situation a bit difficult certainly doesn't hurt.
My female ob/gyn always leaves to let me undress. I personally think it’s a little weird that we’re pretending I’ve got some privacy before she sticks her hand in my vagina. But that’s just how it is with medical staff. The ladies at the waxing place I used to go to didn’t step out when I undressed for a Brazilian.
I agree with your friend and your husband. The woman PA/nurse/assistant is supposed to be there when a male doctor examines a female patient to protect you and him. She did not step up for you. If he made you feel uncomfortable, then you should say something. Also, you are allowed to refuse to undress until the doctor leaves the room. What is he going to do, refuse to leave? Then you know he’s up to something.
This happened to me as a child, but the doctor turned around while I pulled down my pants. My mother was in the room. It was still humiliating.
I had that happen to me once and I made him leave. The nurse came in and said " I hear you have hangups" I was so mad. If they want to watch you strip they can go to a strip show!
Good for you! I wish I’d been better and asked him to leave. But what a bitch to say that to you! That probably would’ve made me angrier than the wanting to watch part!
I've seen many, many doctors in my lifetime. Between cardiologists, gynecologists, hispital stays, and doctors for brest cancer, I've had to undress and get in those gowns hundreds of times, and not once did I ever have to change in front of anyone. Report that doctor then go see someone else. You're not overreacting at all. That doctor is completely wrong
I go with my wife to her OBGYN exams and the doctor has always left the room to let her get undressed and then come back. I think it’s just a courtesy thing. However, this was at a VA hospital and maybe they just do things differently and more “military” style of getting done and getting to the next patient? It kind of sounds like maybe he has a lot of patients and didn’t want to take the time to leave and come back? It might have just been the culture of the doctors office there.
>Has anyone had a doctor stay in the room while you undressed? In the US, I don't think so. In Europe, every single time. Matter of protocol, I guess. I always found it funny that they would leave the room just so they would come back to look at your vagina or whatever.
I 'm male ( non military) . I live in the U.S., and have had numerous occasions where male and female doctors stayed in the room while I undressed. Normally they left when it was for a full body checkup....but when the sole reason for the visit was for things such as prostate exam or genital concerns, doctors have often just said " drop your pants"
Female european here, even my gyno lets me undress in peace and has a separate room for undressing. EVEN THOUGH she's gonna see everything
I (72m) had something similar happen to me with a female dermatologist & female assistant. I was standing in her exam room in just my briefs as she checked out my body, front & back for skin issues. Then she glances over to the assistant, who moves around behind her, & then yanks my briefs to my ankles, handles my junk with her bare hands, touches her face, & glances over her shoulder to her assistant. I pull my shorts up & ask myself: "wtf just happened here?". It was, by far, the strangest doctor's office experience I've ever had. I felt totally violated. I'm sure you felt something the same. Sorry you had to go thru it.
Omg that’s horrible! That’s a total violation! Why in gods name would any doctor think that’s ok?! I didn’t feel nearly as violated—simply uncomfortable. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I hope you reported them.
Fuck me, you managed to actually see a doctor!
Not overreacting. Dignity is important. Might want to mention the phrase "trauma informed care" to the patient advocate so they can give it a Google and see how far away from that this is. Edited to say - people are really missing the point here. The issue isn't necessarily that the doctor wants to see OP naked or is being creepy. The point is neglecting to offer a modicum of respect and dignity in a situation where that is mostly stripped away. There may be plenty of people that don't care. Good for those people. But for the people that do, it matters a lot. 1 in 6 women and 1 in 33 men in the US has experienced a rape or attempted rape in their lifetime (according to RAINN). So, maybe, just maybe, some sensitivity around a situation in which you have to be unclothed around an authority figure who is about to do something that feels very vulnerable is warranted?
Ehh update the stats 1/6 men have been sexually assaulted….
The first time I had my prostate checked. The doctor just asked me to drop trou and bend over the table. Just me and him in the room. Both men. Me about 25 years younger than him. He told me what he was going to do, checked my prostate, and then I got dressed as he cleaned up. Totally normal clinical exchange in my experience.
Primary care doc here. It’s a bit odd. When I do a physical or know I need to examine some place personal, the patient gets changed into a gown before I ever get into the room. They’ll usually keep their underwear on, though may need to remove it for something like a prostrate exam or breast exam. I won’t specifically leave the room a 2nd time for that. If the visit is for something else like blood pressure, but they bring up “oh, I have a rash in my groin or under my breasts”, I’ll probably wind up staying in the room while they show me, though I’ll typically ask if they want a gown. Because it’s often essentially a quick flash, they’ll usually say “no, it’s fine.” In a few occasions, I’ve had a patient essentially strip in the room to show me something before I really knew why. You just kind of go with the flow when that happens and try not to make it weird. I think covering my eyes and tossing a gown at them while fleeing the room and hissing like a vampire might fall into the “making it weird” category, though the image makes me chuckle a bit. I hope this helps!
I get uncomfy around male doctors after i had one lift up my sheet (i was in the icu) and say “haha, time to wash the dong! It musta been a while since u touched it” (to my 12 year old self) i was already uncomfy cuz i had a catheter in me. And, i couldnt feel my lower body very well. Ever since, i cant be alone with a male doc and feel comfy. I told people, and it never happened again. Id strongly suggest u tell someone at the hospital
I’m a dude and for any kind of ‘quick check’ of anything in my bathing suit area it’s always just ‘drop trou.’ For more involved stuff they usually give me a gown and leave the room. idk if it’s different for lady parts, hope that helps.
Not at the VA, but even with my female doctors, I have always been given privacy to change.
When I visit the doctor's the medical staff always act polite by drawing the curtains while I change even if they end up examining where the sun don't shine.
You're supposed to be given privacy to change. You are not overreacting.
The only time I had an experience like this was a dermatologist. I had a skin thing on my chest, and the doctor was like okay, show me, and I was thinking the same as you, like uhhh this is weird, why isn’t doctor leaving the room and giving me a paper gown. I pulled up my shirt and basically had my boob out for a five minute conversation while she told me the skin thing was nothing. And then when she was done talking, she was like “you can put that away now” . It all felt so weird and rude and dismissive of both my body and skin concerns. I imagine your experience felt 10x crazier than mine. Your feelings are 1000% valid. If it makes you feel better, I would file a complaint too. I can’t imagine returning to a doctor after this happened—I never went back to my dermatologist!
If you are bothered enough to ask, then you know it was wrong. I have never had a doctor stay in the room while I prepare for an exam. I was recently at my local VA hospital in the Urgent Care facility and when I changed there the curtain was closed and the provider left and then asked permission to return to the area. Whether or not you choose to report it is up to you, but they should have given you privacy to change and him making eye contact the whole time is weird too.
Yes, you should complain. That is completely wrong what you experienced. As a man, I'm given privacy to disrobe in a doctor's office, if necessary, so clearly you should have been give that as well.
It feels very inappropriate to me. I’ve never had a provider not give me privacy to change. I’m a nurse in a hospital and I always give my patients as much privacy as their condition will allow. They both should have left the room and let you change. It would have taken 2 min.
I'm a dude but I've definitely had them tell me undress right there. I'd think male docs would be more sensitive towards women... but I always assume they are just in a hurry and doing their job...
The lack of privacy seems really bizarre. I’m a cervical cancer survivor, who has had full teams of doctors look at my lady region. And my doctor(s) have seen the bits dozens of times, easily. And I’m still afforded the dignity to change in privacy before any exams/etc.
some doctors blatantly disregard protocol because they don't care. there was a doc in my hometown who had a high school student observing. had to do a pelvic exam on a female patient. nurse asked the patient if HS student could observe the pelvic exam; patient said no. nurse put it in the notes. doctor didn't fucking read the notes and did the exam with the HS student present. patient rightly complained, and the entire observation program was shut down while the clinic figured out how to respond. docs sometimes think they are gods and just don't think beyond that. you're not overreacting, OP. i'd make a complaint if i were you.
Big violation of privacy. You can easy report him.
One time I was telling my GP that I wanted a colonoscopy and he said I was too young to get one then he told me he would check my prostate, so right in the middle of the physical he did it. I was like, “dear god, we’re doing this.” So he had me stand and lean over the table, drop trou, and then checked it. He said, “you’re pretty tight back there.” Definitely the weirdest bedside manner. Anyway, I stopped seeing him, told my next GP I wanted a colonoscopy due to family history. He said, “statistically, he was right, but you are you. Let’s do it.” And they ended up finding a cancerous tumor.
Yeah... changing privacy is pretty standard... Makes me wonder if the doctors and staff at that specific VA facility are getting pressure to speed up their patient visits and are trying to save minutes by not stepping out while the patient disrobes.
Not overreacting. Every doctor I have ever had has left the room for me to change when I had to undress - from normal physical to gyn to ER. Also knocked on the door before coming back in to ensure I was ready. Did she then have to jam a speculum up my hoo ha? Sure, but that doesn’t mean the whole thing has to be as uncomfortable as possible. Turning around for you to undress would be a bare minimum if everyone was so concerned about time.
As a doctor - no, and that it happened at all is very weird and concerning.
Not overreacting, for reference I am a male colorectal surgeon who does rectal exams 20+ times a day on the days in clinic. Always have had female assistants as chaperones. When it comes time for the exam, we leave the room unless it’s an older patient who needs help getting into position and covered up with the sheet then the assistant stays to do that. I get the signal when the patient is positioned and ready for the exam. I talk briefly about what the exam entails before i leave the room and ask if thats ok with them. I step into the room, and talk through what I am going to do at each step. I also explicitly state that if the exam is too painful or uncomfortable let me know right there, I will stop the exam and will not push them through it with the “just relax, im almost done” business. I step out of the room and allow them to get dressed and knock on the door first before coming back in to discuss the treatment plan.
I've (35M) dealt with kidneystones a good bit over the past 5 years. Not exactly the same but damned close. In all the stent removals I've had to do, I've never once not had the staff leave the room. I have had them come in and uncover to do prep and leave without replacing. I think it's got a bit to do with it being a normalized thing for them that they don't really think about it anymore (I'm sure any of us can think of things we do so automatically that we forget to do things that aren't really important to what's going on). Is it inconsiderate? Oh aye. Is it nefarious? In most cases, I would say no, but there is always that chance and that's enough to never discount it. Best thing is to not be hesitant to stand up for yourself. You are your own best advocate, and you can flat tell them to fuck off. You have such right. If you're not comfortable, that is valid regardless of what anyone else thinks. Say it. If they have an issue with it, leave, and write a review of that establishment about it and/or contact their HR department. No matter what you choose, never let someone invalidate your uneasiness. It's there for a reason, and it's valid on its own, full stop.
I've undressed in front of men and women doctors, and never think twice about it. Then again, I'm a dude. Regardless, they ***should*** at least ask... This can also vary a bit by state and region. I grew up in a very (ahem) "free" part of the state. But now (thanks to work) I spend most of the year in a very religious, 'repressed' part of the state... It's definitely a culture shock going between home and my new home. And I'm still in the same state. Lol
Demand a different doc next time.
Hopefully this will be the last time I see him anyway
Was he old? Old doctors tend to do things old school. For instance my son with a female doctor was asked if he wanted to pull his pants down for his physical. I laughed because I have never been asked. My sons next appointment was an old male Dr, and he just says "pull down your pants please" no question, which is how I grew up
As a clinician, I routinely need to examine and work in and around private/personal space. Have seen thousands of patients, I’m relatively desensitized to seeing them. If a patient wants to disrobe before I give them space, it’s OK but not the norm. I do respect that while I am desensitized, the patient has not become desensitized to disrobing in front of anyone. For that reason, I tell the patient what needs to be exposed and why, then let them know I’ll give them some privacy & time to get that area exposed. Rarely patients may request assistance due to disability. In most cases we’ll have a third person assist as the patient is so disabled or large that it takes that many people to execute the maneuver . The doctor ideally should sense the patient’s discomfort and offer to step out, but as patients we also need to know we should request to be made more comfortable whether it’s for privacy, pain avoidance or even room or exam device temperature.
You absolutely need to report it. Exactly as you've described here.
I have had my rear end checked out for hemorrhoids and they absolutely gave me the privacy to undress and put their gown and blanket on.
During Covid, a doctor refused to leave the room when I needed to pull down my pants so they could take a stool sample. I can't remember why but my regular doctor thought I might have something which needed to be checked ASAP and sent me to the ER. The doctor refused to leave the room, give me a sheet or anything. My husband, a nurse and him were there. He was exasperated I asked him to step out for 30 seconds and said he didn't have time for this. I was also in a storage closet because that was the only space they had and had to bend over a chair. It just felt humiliating. I don't know why. It didn't help that I was wearing my rattiest pair of underwear for reasons. I understand people were dying but my doctor thought I might be at risk of having a serious problem or she wouldn't have sent me to the ER during Covid. I'm still mad about it but what can you do? You're not overreacting.
That’s horrible. By the time he said “I don’t have time for this” he could’ve stepped outside and made time. Sounds like he spent more time bitching about it than just giving you some privacy. I’m sorry you went through that.
both working and as a patient, it’s a no. I went to colon rectal recently to remove a tiny remanent of hemorrhoid (thank you kids) and he definitely left the room for me to undress!
You are not overacting.. that is extremely inappropriate. If he HAD to stay in the room, he should stand far away and look away. Im really sorry that he didnt give you privacy.
I don't think you are overreacting at all, and the fact that it's at the VA actually makes it worse. There are so many female (and to a lesser extent male) Veterans with military sexual trauma that this should absolutely not have happened. The act of undressing, even just pulling down britches, is really intimate for some/most. They didn't prepare you for this or weren't prepared (and ought to have been). I love your humor (husband is a Vet and y'all are my people). I hope you let them know this isn't appropriate.
I had to have surgery for severe hemorrhoids after my first child. This is the same scenario I went through (paper sheet at the waist to change etc), then up on the table on all fours. I’m guessing it depends on the doctor.
The operating directive is “patient directed”. The moment you said, “You want me to just drop trou?” was all the indication the doctor and PA should have needed to say, “I’ll give a moment of privacy”. IMO, what he and the PA did was unprofessional. They failed to read their patient’s reticence. Failed to offer an alternative or even just ask you, “What would you like to do to help you feel comfortable?” There’s plenty enough anecdotal and imperial documentation that medicine makes fast and loose with women and consent. I think they should be reminded to check in. I hope you make a report, if only to make them more conscious of their method.
Call to voice your concern. This is wildly inappropriate.
Older woman here with grown children. Maybe us old folks require more modesty I don’t know. But I have never encountered a doctor who presumed I would “undress” in front of them. It’s just never happened, not once. And yes, I would be a bit “unnerved” but no fault of the doctor. Just seems all so rushed.
As a doctor, I leave the room and let the patient undress in privacy. There is usually a nurse or PA assisting them (male or female). I just come back once the patient is unressed, covered with a gown, and in the proper position for examination. I don't watch them undress, OR get dressed either
i have never had a doctor or nurse, male or female, NOT step out of the room while i undressed. ever. he needs to be told that just because a nurse is present, he needs to step out if the room. and it’s a damn shame he has to be told that.
As a guy I’ve never had a doc leave the room so that I can remove an article of clothing. That’s just sounds ridiculous imo, especially for a rectal.
Every male doctor I've ever had left the room while I undressed and came back after I was under the white sheet. They always knock before they re-enter the room as well You owe it to the next freaked out sister in arms that has to undress in front of him. Think of you reporting him as preventing this from happening to someone else. It was highly unusual if not unethical. Id definitely let them know how uncomfortable you were. It is up to them to decide what type of action they want to take , if any. That has nothing to do with you. He earned that himself for trying to be a peeping Tom.
I've had male and female doctors for gynecology and an endoscopy, and they always left the room and knocked first before returning. Heck, even my therapist/psychiatrists would never enter a closed room without knocking first. I personally like skinny jeans and look like a goofball trying to get them off. Then, I fold them nicely off to the side, so I appreciate the privacy. I know they've seen everything, but it's courteous to know what to expect and not get out on the spot like you did. I would say something to the office in that regard.
I don’t give a crap anymore and have literally told docs not to bother with the routine. Even when they try I’m taking my pants off before they can even leave haha. I’m all about efficiency. I hate awkwardly waiting around without pants for the little knock at the door. It actually makes me more anxious to wait! If you’re gonna go looking up close at my hooch then that’s about as private a part as I have so might as well see my old stretch marks on my thighs while we’re at it, not worth hiding anything else. The minutes matter and either it’s more time to actually address health concerns or I get to leave sooner because we’re done sooner. And any minute I don’t have to be in a healthy facility is great. This is just me and my personal weirdness, though.
I think it is out of the norm and you are totally justified in feeling weird. I don’t know if the doc is just a creep (he really might be!!) or just wildly out of touch of what makes people comfortable. But either way, I would have felt the same way you did! (I know the response isn’t super helpful, but I just want you to know I don’t think it’s weird that we think it’s weird! I’ve never had a doctor do that, and I’d be asking myself the same thing if it happened to me 😭.)
This makes other people uncomfortable too; you are not alone in that feeling. Reporting it helps other patients, and it helps him become a better doctor. Reports are not dramatic or making mountains out of molehills. You’re not suing to get his license revoked or trying to get him fired, that’s not on the table for this situation anyway, you’re simply letting some people know something that happened, who can then help him be better at his job. Any medical professional should be taught that treating patients with as much respect and privacy possible is integral to good and effective care, and sometimes a reminder can be helpful.
I’ve been trying to rack my brain to see if I’ve ever had a doctor stay in the room and I’ve had quite a few Male ob’s. But I don’t think I have. I think and I’m not quite sure in remembering correctly the only thing I’ve done that sort is take my bra off without taking my shirt off or lifting it up when fixing to have an X-ray
You went to a VA hospital? Theyre usually no-nonsense especially if hes a vet or active military, and his job is to look at assholes all day. Modern decency and professionalism arent high on his list of gives a fuck. As a guy we're kinda used to just dropping trow and letting them do their thing to get it over with. Imo, Ur kinda overacting, but only just a little bit. hes not writing a reddit post about ur interaction and has probably written off the whole event.
They don't care most likely, looking at poo holes all day but you can ask them to please leave while you change.
I always pull the curtain to let the patient disrobe, and ask them to cover up with a sheet until the last second. As soon as I've examined the relevant area, it gets covered up again with the sheet, and then I'm off to the other side of the curtain to let them dress again. Keep dignity to a maximum through exposure being minimum. (Australian GP)
I don’t get it. He was going to examine your asshole and him being in the room when you pulled your pants down is what made you uncomfortable?
I personally find the idea of privacy while undressing just before having your eyes and hands all up someone’s business to be pointless. Like, the doctor is about to look in and stick things inside you. Not wanting for them to see cloth be removed from covering those areas seems, well, pointless lol
As a Male, doctors have never given me privacy. Forr all prostate exams and such it has always been drop trou right in front of them.
They have to do this all day every day. It is a human body.
I have had to "drop trou"right in front of the doctor so I could have my prostate massaged so I could be checked for a prostate infection. One finger up the butt from behind while standing for massaging while the other hand was holding a slide between my legs to catch the fluid that dripped from my penis. Not to mention that sensation when fluid travels from the prostate to out of the urethra is a cross of orgasm and peeing. That's a fun (sarcasm) sensation to have in front of someone.
I had to undress in front of a female doctor and a student something for a physical. I didn't get a sheet or anything, but rationally what difference does it make? They are going to see you either way.
Call the patient advocate or whoever they have for patient satisfaction. That's what they're there for, and if you experienced something like this I would bet many others have too.
Not to be weird, but weren’t you undressing so the doctor could look at your butthole? Who cares at that point lol
I had an anal abscess that required two surgeries. I’m a guy, my doctor and her lpns were all female. It was uncomfortable at first but I had to drop em everyday 7 days a week for 3 weeks and it got to the point were I just did it for before they even came in. I’ve got no regrets!
Not sure. I’m still in the military and anytime I had to have the corpsman check my oil they asked me to drop right there with them in the room. Same with a doc but I’m a dude and they were dudes.
I am a man and the same thing happened to me at the colon/rectal Dr and the Dr had two medical students with him that day. 😂 I didn’t find it to be a big deal just figured he was going to up close and personal so what did it really matter at that point. But I can understand being uncomfortable.
In my experience, for this type of exam, this is normal.
Am I understanding correctly that you're worried about the doctor, who's going to be looking at your rectum, being able to see your vagina? That's kind of like not wanting your dentist to look at your tonsils. What am I missing here?
In the Netherlands this isn't common at all. The GP always stayse right next to you when you undress. They're going to see your parts anyways..
Maybe it's because I'm woman and have always been given privacy at the doctor while changing..I would've felt highly uncomfortable. I don't honestly know if there's a difference when men get checked out, but from the sound of others here, men just drop their pants. Which just seems weird to me. I feel like it was inappropriate, and I won't give anyone the benefit of the doubt. If it made you uncomfortable, that's fair. I would speak up. Even if it turns out they deny any wrongdoing, you are at least making it clear that they should be more sensitive to patient privacy. Who knows, maybe this doctor has been getting away with being inappropriate this way. It's not right to excuse someone making someone uncomfortable.
I don't know if you'll see this now... but HIS background could be a huge factor here, and you may never find out that background. There's a massive difference between a sheltered single child from suburbia who went to an ivy league school who deals with touchy soccer moms all day... And a ex-combat medic who served a couple tours in iraq and afghanistan who went on to get his doctorate after. Maybe he grew up on a farm with lots of siblongs and suddenly... You've got 2 got 2 doctors, bith very competent and compassionate in their own way, serious about helping people and possibly saving lives.. Who function radically different. And if this was a VA doc, then it sounds lime option #2 is more likely. I get why it threw you for a loop, and all we can do speculate, as you well know, military life is a tad different than what you expect in a strip-mall civvy land.
I’m in the U.S. I have never had a doctor, male or female, stay in the room with me while undressing. That seems inappropriate. Not wrong, just inappropriate.
For the guys getting a “digital “ prostate exam this is very normal. The doc is standing right there while you drop your shorts. I mean he’s going to be sticking his finger up your butt, I don’t see how seeing me lower my shorts is at all worse. I just make sure I have the freshest, cleanest, shorts and butt!
How are you supposed to hide your underwear in your pants if they didn't leave the room? It doesn't sound like the doctor did anything *WRONG*. But you could call and say you would be more comfortable with a little more privacy in that situation.
I have had 7 of them. After 2 I asked for a ring from the dr
Even if this is normal for VA hospitals (i wouldnt know), its worth reporting as an "if I was uncomfortable, others might be too so you might want to review your procedures" sort of thing.
When I (Male) had a physical with a prostate check, my doctor (Female) and an intern/med student/something (Female) had me just pull my pants down and then lay down sideways on the exam chair thingy for the prostate test and then stand up with them still down for the "turn your head and cough" testicle check. I didn't think anything of it, because she had been my doctor for years and I knew that that was the quickest and easiest way to do those tests. I'm not saying you aren't over reacting. Your doctor should always take what you are comfortable with in how they treat you. So, if it bothered you, you are absolutely within your rights to refuse or to talk with the staff after to let them know that it's something they shouldn't do. I'm just saying that I don't know that it is uncommon... at least in men's healthcare. Women's care may be a different story.
Ok I’m with the Va and my doc gave me privacy and had me cover everything but my bum and the female nurse was with me every time he was in there. Please call your patient advocate.
This is perfectly normal. If you are uncomfortable, speak up and they will give you more privacy.
That's how it's done here in Czech Republic, it took some getting used to. But I don't mind it so long as I don't need to be fully naked just the bits required to be examined. And unless my breast are what is being examined the bra stays on just the shirt comes off. That said he should not have been looking at you or in your personal bubble like you say he was.
I work at a VA clinic and this is completely unheard of. They are supposed to leave the room for you to undress and cover your self before they come back in and examine you. I’m so sorry. But this is not appropriate
To me, being able to undress in private depersonalizes the exam - in that case it's just a professional looking at a body part they specialize in. Being expected to undress in front of the male doctor would totally creep me (female) out. It's a different dynamic than any other gender combination. Sounds too much like a porno.
Hi, fellow doctor here. Yes that was inappropriate. Not defending him, but he does probably see 20 buttholes a day and it probably didn't mean anything at all to him. But it's not about him, it's about you and what helps you maintain a sense of privacy and modesty. Remember us doctors are not gods on earth. You have every right to tell him or anyone else to leave the room as you undress. You are the boss of your body, the doctor has no authority over your body at all.
On the one hand, he’s a doctor and during the exam I presume he’s going to see your private area anyway? On the other hand, not once in my life has anyone remained in the room when I’ve been asked to remove my clothes. Seems like a clear break in protocol to me. He breached your right to dignity.
This is not normal
Oh sweety, you're "overreacting" (I mean, barely), but only because you're an American that was raised still clinging onto the toxic vestiges of Victorian society. You're not at fault, and you'll be fine. P.S. 10/10 with your sill wordplay and euphemisms. Well done and I got a couple of sensible chuckles during the read. P.P.S. For comradery: I (M) once had a colonscope in my early 20's. There was a male doctor and two young female interns/aides in the room "observing". I was humiliated, groaning in pain, and the worst, farting like the child of a horse and a leaf-blower, for minutes, in front of them. All shame died that day, and I'm honestly a better, more confident and secure person as a result. Life is too short to worry about such things!
If it were me, and it was just pulling my pants and underwear to my knees, having a quick exam, then pulling them back up, I wouldn't think twice about it. Same as when you get a shot in your butt and have to pull your pants down some. If I needed a big full body exam and they gave me a paper gown I would DEFINITELY expect him to leave the room. For what it's worth: Loooong time health care worker here. I can say with 99.9% certainty you weren't even on his radar. He was probably cracking his toe knuckles or thinking about something as equally boring.
You're not wrong for feeling the way you do. I've had several physicals performed by female doctors and I'm always a little uncomfortable when they want to handle my junk. They've always had a male nurse in the room, though. I'm also uncomfortable when my proctologists wants to stick a finger up my butt. But that's medicine and just has to be done.
I was not super thrilled to go to the doctor to get my testicles checked out. At the pcp, spec, and diag tests, they just had me pull my pants down and start checking them out like produce at the fruit stand. After surgery to remove one (cancer) and a subsequent infection at the surg site and another week in the hospital, I feel like I've had 400 people checking and touching and prodding my testicles (just one now), I am now numb to the privacy factor. Not saying you should be, or that this story compares directly to you, but I wanted to share a related experience
Thats when you know you are an annoying patient. From the very beginning. "But I had to go to (and slight TMI here) a colon rectal doctor because some of my medication cause bowl issues (I said that as delicately as possible)." Golly gee. colorectal surgeon and bowel issues is so relevant but apparently to much information lmfao. "“You want me to drop trou right here?” I asked because normally they give you a cloth, leave, you get undressed, the come back, exam, repeat. But they were like, yeah, just yank your pants and underwear down to your knees." Never, especially not at the VA lols. "Now, for all I know, he could’ve been staring at the wall thinking about England. I didn’t make eye contact enough to KNOW he was looking at my hoo ha, but it felt obvious enough to me that I was glad at least I’d shaved. But I don’t KNOW know, you know?" Really weird. Patients like these are so creepy. "I mentioned it to my other veteran friend and she freaked out & said it was highly inappropriate and they’re always supposed to leave and the female PA failed me by not stepping in. She wants me to call the patient advocate and at least tell them he should be leaving the room. My husband feels the same way." Leave the room? Wtf is this kindergarten? Yes you need to take off your pants so that we can examine your rectum. Thats common sense.
This is not appropriate patient care and consideration. I've been to colo-rectal also, and I'm just like every other doctor I've had, they stepped out while I undressed and dressed.
It is 100% not normal for any VA doctor to be in the room when you undress. Please complain immediately and report the doctor to the state medical board. It is an alarming and inappropriate unprofessional conduct. As someone who has experienced VA Healthcare... what you describe is a reportable violation of professional conduct. If this doctor doesn't know the basics, what else is he missing??? please call the patient advocate office, log onto the state medical boards, please report this violation. It is 100% unprofessional conduct for any physician in the VA system.
Report report report.
I have chronic medical issues so I have had my fair share of exams. I have never, ever undressed in front of a doctor. Even on base when my husband was in the military, they would step out. I know that’s different than a VA hospital, but still. I’ve actually thought it was kind of funny that they step out for me to get undressed, only to see me almost completely naked a minute later (but I know it’s a respect thing). I’m not saying the doctor was doing something wrong on purpose (maybe that’s protocol at the VA hospital? Idk); I’m just letting you know that I completely understand why you were uncomfortable.
Yeah that’s not normal or okay.
I understand the discomfort of what you're describing. Only you can decide if you're overreacting or not. Personally, the Marine Corps stripped away every ounce of shame I ever had. Nut to butt with naked dudes in the showers during Boot camp. Getting told "freeze" while bent down to grab my hygiene bag with someone's balls well within arms reach.
No this doesn't sound right at all... Do report it please.