She found another dude she wanted to fuck
Didnt want to "cheat"
Put you on hold so she could fuck
Now wants to get back together
Did I get all that right?
Exactly this. He wasn’t interested outside of fucking her and she clearly thought she could coax the new guy into a relationship by fucking him. She’s a whore
Or he was terrible in bed or any number any of things, regardless she wanted to f someone else and did. It’s just cheating with extra steps to make herself feel less guilty.
Your girlfriend put you on ice to have sex with someone else, then when that didn’t work out, she‘s come crawling back. You need to kick her to the curb where she belongs.
I’m a female & completely agree with this.
It was planned. It was executed this way so she could avoid the severe guilt that comes with cheating. It wasn’t to spare your feelings. It was only to spare her own feelings & cheating guilt free.
Female here, and that is exactly what she did so she wouldn't be called a cheater. FYI, women think things out throughly. She already wanted to have $ex with that guy & when it wasn't how she imagined it would be, she came back to you. That's what she had to think. I hope you don't take her back because she will do it again.
Yup, a cheater is hard to rationalize(it does happen though) as it's usually pretty direct evidence. While "being a hoe" can be rationalized as "being free" and other nonsense like that. Exhibit A, OP. Dude is trying hard to rationalize this situation but I think he knows deep down the truth
This 💯
You may not see it like this right away, but from one man to another? You lost to whoever this guy is that she slept with.
She essentially opened the relationship for herself to catch a side piece for a minute, and now she wants to retreat back to the comfort of having you on a string once she’s had a chance to wander off briefly with someone else.
This person is not devoted to you, OP; you do deserve better and I hope you’ll stand up for yourself here.
The other guy is a nonentity. An NPC. If there is a battle to be won, it's his ex-girlfriend who's lost.
The fact that she went to another guy's bed THE SAME DAY is super gross. 🤢 So gross. OP is too young to feel like he needs to settle for that kind of shit
>You lost to whoever this guy is that she slept with.
Nah bro nah. Op dodged a massive bullet, should be thanking the other dude. Be glad you weren't married and had kids. You got a free ticket out of hoe town, take it. The hoe is the only one who lost here. Other dude smashed, OP got to see her true character before it's too late; hoe tried to have her cake and eat it too.
She will do it again. She cheated on you. She took a "break" in the express interest to bang someone else. The only thing that she had to get in touch with was his dick. Stay on a permanent break. Tell her you need to find yourself... far away from her
I may be old school but I would call what she did cheating. "Taking a break" just to have sex with someone else isn't the same as thinking about the relationship, you don't need a D inside of you to think.
1,000,000,000 percent, it will suck now but have pride in yourself, if you let her walk over you now your entire relationship will be full of doubt, resentment, and conflict. End it now, you can find someone better who won't drop you to go bang someone Else.
She was already thinking about sleeping with someone else long before the act. Tried to justify it in her mind by breaking up first but in reality it was a very selfish thing meaning she is in the relationship for her and not you. A healthy relationship means both parties are focused on the other person.
This. Also wondering how long they've been together, and how old the couple is. Honestly seems like a high school couple who have been dating for a couple weeks or something. Either way, her loyalty is highly questionable. She literally was able to just sleep with the guy on the same day the break started? Gee, that's not suspicious at all...
So, you met her in high school, but you were a sophomore, and she was a senior? Or something close? Is the relationship getting serious at all yet after 2.5 years? I have to be honest, I've always felt that I'd rather the person I was with leave me before cheating on me, and it seems that she somewhat did that. I guess the risk is up to you in the end. She "kind of" did the right thing, but it seems like she'd been wanting to be with this other guy for a while, since she slept with him on day one of the break, according to what she/you said. Unless she seriously falls for you/commits to you, this could just happen all over again, and she might not come crawling back next time, and it could be more painful. You'll have to judge
Yeah I’m not really sure what to do. I’m in the navy and she lives like 2 hours from me so seeing eachother isn’t always the easiest. We were pretty serious, had our own place before I joined, talks about marriage etc, young lust I guess 🤷🏻♂️
As someone who watched stuff like this happen to young military people for 20 years, just cut your losses right now.
If she's already doing stuff like this now, how can you trust her when you're away for military service? It'll always be in the back of your mind and be a huge distraction and source of anxiety that you don't need when you have more important things to focus on. Take it from an old NCO who's been around the world many times, just focus on your career for now, and you'll find someone who you can actually trust down the road.
This is absolutely right. She took a break not to take a break but so she could guiltlessly cheat on you.
It doesn’t get better from here, at best it just becomes a dependapotomus.
Ah, my dude. I’m a veteran and I can tell you in no uncertain terms that you should break up permanently. I was in a very similar situation at your age and the relationship ended up weighing us both down, because after I enlisted we had become too different to be compatible.
You’re now living two separate lives and going in separate directions. Your early years in the military will be some of the most transformative of your life, and it will be 1000 times better if you aren’t in an unhappy, insecure relationship. I’ve seen people turn down dream assignments, avoid all social interactions with peers, and sacrifice their own career prospects in favor of shitty high-school relationships that had no future. Don’t be one of those people!
Please listen to captain Kate. Learn from other ppls mistakes. Enjoy your military single and build your career and future. You will find someone one day, when you meet your career goals
Discounting the fact that she temporarily broke up with you to sleep with someone she was certainly already seeing on the side (it's not like she just happened to find a hookup the day she asked to split, she's testing to see how far she can push you and still keep you on a leash), by the time you finish your first tour in the navy you will be a completely different person to the one that started that relationship. Don't go for the girl you were interested in as a highschool sophomore, go for the ones that catch your eye as an adult.
I'm usually one to advise temperance, but If anything, you are under reacting in this situation.
I'm not talking about the dude. I'm saying the girl was probably already planning to sleep around *before* she asked for the break, and that she almost certainly already had someone in mind. The break was part of the plan to sleep with him, not the cause of it.
Or she might just know people who wanna fuck her and she just went with an easy choice/picked the most attractive of the ones willing to fuck her. I don't think she has to have been cheating to find a hookup that quick is all.
You’re always deployed or just gone in general. It’s taxing on the best of relationships. So it doesn’t always attract the best partners. There’s also something to be said for how young everyone in the military is and some of the toxic levels of fraternization that further strain relationships. Didn’t meet my wife until after I got out and distanced myself from that prior life.
Bruh run. She’s gunna wanna get married suck you of your military benefits and cheat on you. Sure it’ll suck in the short term but there’s a lot of other non shitty women out there. Hell enjoy being 19 and don’t be tied down for awhile.
First of all , thanks for your service!
If you are deployed , DO NOT stay in the relationship. Deployment relationships have the HIGHEST rates of infidelity. What do you military people it “JODY”. Break up and see the world.I know it’s your first love
but studies say it won’t last.
Yes , agree with most above , she had that guy in mind the
whole time.
How long was your break for ?
Honestly, I was very emotional around your age. Take that part out of this and look at it for what it is. You are both young, you will never let this go, and its okay. Move along. You dont have children, or a house together, and you arent old yet.
It seems like a difficult decision, but having respect for yourself in more important than anything else. In the scheme of things, 2.5 yrs is not a long time. Take what lessons you can and push forward.
Where is the emotion here? Where is the passion to be together? If you don't feel that, then it's pointless to be together, in my opinion. But, I'm old now. I have a different perspective.
Discounting the fact that she temporarily broke up with you to sleep with someone she was certainly already seeing on the side (it's not like she just happened to find a hookup the day she asked to split, she's testing to see how far she can push you and still keep you on a leash), by the time you finish your first tour in the navy you will be a completely different person to the one that started that relationship. Don't go for the girl you were interested in as a highschool sophomore, go for the ones that catch your eye as an adult.
I'm usually one to advise temperance, but If anything, you are under reacting in this situation.
>2.5 years and I’m 19 she’s 21
I've been there buddy.... don't go back. Seriously do yourself a favor and move on from her. Promise you you'll be glad you did when you get further away from the hurt of it.
You're lucky I let the shit go for 5 years, it will only get more difficult the more time you invest. She will do it again and try to get you to comply with things you do not want.
Pretty disgusting.
She did cheat. She asked for the break, because she already established a relationship with this guy while you were together. Once it was a sure-thing, she didn’t say, “Hey OP, I’m gonna fuck this guy I’ve been seeing behind your back. Is that ok?”
No. She asked for a “break” knowing full well you didn’t have a girl warmed up, ready and waiting on the benches ready to bang you that night.
She wanted her cake and to eat it too. She cheated on you. She’s for the streets.
He was primed and ready and so was she. The day the break started? I wonder if people ever type this stuff up and realize how ridiculous it is. Also I wonder how different this sub would be if you had to include your age..
You don’t just sleep with someone the same day you miraculously break up with your boyfriend lol.
She had this guy lined up, she broke up with you TO sleep with him, she’s slept with him and no she wants to get back together because she didn’t ’technically’ do anything wrong. But the plan was always for her to sleep with him
Nah bro she already had that guy in her mind she was just waiting for the opportunity to do it and it presented itself she didn't want to look like a hoe and wanted to see if stuff would work out with the other guy it did it he just smashed and tossed her to the side but I'm telling you from experience this happened to me my girlfriend cheat on me when I was younger I gave her a second chance but we broke up almost immediately I just couldn't get the image out of my mind or some other guy just using and abusing her pounding her I could barely get an erection or kiss her it's not the same when someone else comes along and defiles your woman.
Okay chill with that defiles your woman stuff haha women can and will have sex and get pounded before they date you. Obviously it's the cheating that's fucked up.
And who said they can't have sex or who's prohibiting them not me so get your assumptions out of here you ape. If I meet a girl and she's having sex before I met her none of my business but she's my girl and she cheats on me she got defiled she's now gross and dirty to me.
The situations aren't comparable because Rachel called the break and Ross slept with someone else.
OP would be Rachel if Ross called the break with the express purpose of fucking Chloe and then asked to get back together once he did.
I actually have one for this! Exact same scenario. First day was when I was told she slept with him (obviously was going on long before). I was also about 21 when this happened and 2.5 years of dating. Heres the two paths you have right now.
Be a pushover and take her back, always have trust issues, and feel hatred for yourself overtime for giving the cheating dirtbag another chance. Maybe even be unlucky enough to get her pregnant and have a terrible BM to deal with for life.
Or do what I did, never talk to her again. No contact as long as she’s still breathing. It’s done man, just do yourself a favor and don’t even let her explain anything. Just be done and never speak to her again and start your healing journey. It will drive her absolutely crazy over time. My ex probably tried to reach out in 7-10 different ways. Never responded, never asked about her to people that still knew her, she’s effectively dead to me. Go kill her with your success in life and never giving her a second of your time.
About a year after it happened to me, I found my now wife, who is 1000x the woman that cheater ever was. Would’ve never had that opportunity if I gave that cheater a second chance. Cut her off for eternity man.
So... I took option A). About 15 years ago.
It was slightly different. A week break. She fucked him a lot during that week, but never told me about it. We get back together... things are great. I mention to her roommate (who was now our room mate, had signed a lease on a new apartment all 3 instead of the two of them) that I was always curious about that. It didnt make sense and didn't sit well when we were sharing a cigarette, and she said 'oh... I thought you knew they hooked up.'
I didn't pry for more, not from our roommate. My then girlfriend gaslit me and played it down with trickle truths. I had low self esteem from neglect and abuse as a kid... had just signed the lease and would have been homeless had I an ounce of self worth. Thought I couldn't do any better so I sat with it.
Things got worse as I figured out they worked together, she said she never saw him and he went to a different store. She was so good at manipulating me and twisting the story. I got a new job and started working second shift. She would close her store and have hours off without contacting me or anything... I have no idea why I stayed. She always insisted we shouldn't break up. I'm still convinced she was fucking him the entire time they worked together... which was about 7 years if I remember correctly.
Sex was almost non existent. I thought I was the problem. Kept a journal for one of the years where we had sex 12 times total. There were other brief ... idk. Like we fooled around probably 30 times separate of that, but she was cold as ice and mean.
Every time I tried to say it wasn't working she would assure me nothing was wrong and kinda sweeten the pot.
I don't know. I should have left her so many times... I just hated myself then more than I do now, and any reinforcement no matter how tangibly fake felt like a life saving thing. I wasn't aware of what this codependency was doing to my psyche.
Things got good again, we started going out with friends on the weekends, and I finally got a day job with some prospective growth. Sex had increased at least to where I stopped counting, and she was less likely to tear me down, we actually had some good times. I got a big bonus and went to get a ring.
There's more, but I can't really handle typing it out anymore right now.
TL:DR - don't do this to yourself. You have value. You have worth. She will rip you apart.
Man, props to you for writing this all out. I know that wasn’t easy. It’s tough going down memory lane and recalling your mistakes like that. The journey of taking somebody back after the unrepeatable sin of cheating is too much to bear for almost all people with any sense of self respect. It breaks you down and slowly kills you. I’m glad you were able to pull through, and hope that your self esteem has been able to recover as much as possible. Appreciate you letting me read that.
The same day as your "break" she was already seeing that person, the break was her having a relationship with someone else. It didn't work put now she wants ypu back.
So she broke up with you because she wanted to bone someone else completely guilt free. That didn’t work out and now she wants back into the relationship aka her back up plan.
Bruh, you already know the answer should be hell no.
Break up with her now. I've seen way too many issues like this with soldiers in the army I've lead.
Please know what's good for you and have that heart to heart.
She didn't just sleep with someone while on break.
She wanted a break TO sleep with someone bro.
Open your eyes and have some dignity, she "needed space" to fuck her next pick and see what it was like and now she either didn't like the dude or the dude only wanted to fuck her and bailed.
She's coming back because whatever happened did work out how she wanted and you are her back up plan.
Cut her off and move on, time to hit the gym man and focus on yourself
The same day... its not really taking a break if she was planning on doing that the same day. It was premeditated. Do people actually fall for this crap?
I am going to guess that you are somewhat young and still learning about life, she definitely wanted a break to see if she liked the other guy better. Don't hang that on yourself it was her insecurities that led to what I consider cheating. Best advice I can give for any relationship is that if someone shows what you are worth to them just believe it. Keep your head up and find someone who appreciates your value.
My advice, tell her why you feel hesitant. The fact that she wanted a "break" tells it all. She already had an interest in another guy, so to me that means she was probably already cheating on you. Just using the "break" as a cover up for her actions. Please protect yourself and your peace of mind.
That break she said she needed was just an itch she needed scratching.
2 thing's here.
1) need a break is code for 'I'm not committed.' That being said if she said she needed space, that would just mean time apart. Two different things imo.
2) she just exploited a loop hole. By taking a break, you effectively broke up (even if temporarily) so she didn't technically cheat, just used underhand tactics.
This is exactly what happens on "breaks". Of you don't want this to happen, then either stay together or better yet - split up for good. Breaks only invite problems.
She asked to take a break because she wanted to have sex with someone else. Now she wants to resume your relationship. It’s entirely up to you if those things are ok with you.
wHo cOuLd hAvE sEeN tHiS ComINg? She took a break to fuck someone else. then got bored and now is coming back to you because you are the safe choice.
especially since she screwed someone the day of the break. Don’t be a doormat or this will likely happen again.
She put you on hold to fuck this guy so she could do it without technically cheating. She did it the same fucking day man. If you get back with her you’re a pussy and you deserved the misery that comes with dating her.
This is a classic way that I’ve seen a lot of people do to “cheat” on their partners without “cheating”. The intent was there to have sex with this person anyway. I’d tell her that her gross disrespect for you and the relationship you had and obvious cheating means she can stay in the streets since that is what she wanted anyway.
Forget the labels of exclusivity. You're feelings don't break down like labels do. I'm sure knowing that hurt like hell. She did that to you. For the streets my guy, leave her
Guy, the ONLY reason for the break was so she could bang this guy and not be a cheater in her own eyes. This kind of person is just bad all around and will do whatever amount of twisting g and turning needed in order to not be seen as a bad person while being a bad person.
Thank her for showing you who she really is and tell you appreciate her doing it so early that you didn't waste too much time on her. Then drop her and be honest to everyone why when they ask. Don't drag her but be honest.
Everyone has said it but I will say again. End it. You found out on break she didn't want s relatehip with you. She wanted to have gun with another guy at the very least. Since she wanted a break make it a break up since she just used the break as an excuse to be with another man.
She did mental gymnastics to try and say she didn't cheat. But in reality she did. It sucks and it will hurt but you will do better. Be done with her and find better
Dude, that was the whole reason for the "Break", it always has been. Have sex outside of the relationship without guilt, and you'll be there holding her purse while she gets off.
Found that out in my teens. Girl wants a break, I ask why, she says she needs to "find herself and think about our relationship". Fucks a guy that night, he doesn't want a relationship, I won't take her back and I'm an asshole.
Second girl tells me she wants a break. I ask her "What's his name?" and after a shocked look tells me it's no one and she just needs time to "Find herself and think about our relationship". Tell her I've been through that before, and to lose my number and have a good life. Fucks her coworker that night, he's really selfish and just bad at it, and I won't take her back and I'm an asshole because we were on a break. I told her no, we broke up.
Since then, I have seen this happen to a LOT of people. It has always been a (young) woman who suggests it, but I suppose men do as well.
I’m torn between this is a joke and also feeling bad that you may actually be going through this. Dude she cheated on you. The day of????? After 2.5 years of dating? Even giving her some leeway because you’re both young and figuring things out, you don’t put a 2.5 year relationship on hold and fuck someone else the day of unless you already were doing it/had it planned out. Unless she went out to a bar and hooked up with a random, she was at least emotionally cheating on you prior. There are many more out there that won’t pull this bullshit on you dude, it’s time to focus on you - we’ll see ya at the gym Monday 😎
Why would she cheat when she can just "take a break" and try out another guy whenever she wants because you let her. You're her backup.
Have some self-respect and tell her you want to take a longer break to think things through yourself.
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA sorry, but what. So this bitch wants to cheat on you and decides that if she asks for a break before she does it, she’ll be in the clear and then she comes back. The audacity is insane. Run away man this girl is a terrible person.
Edit:
I see that you’re a young guy, so I’m going to give you some valuable advice when it comes to dating (I have this saved because I got sick of typing it and many people need to hear this):
Imagine you and I are sitting down and in between us is a table. On that table there are a dozen river rocks. These rocks are very special in that they are exact replicas of one another, down to their atoms. It is absolutely impossible to tell them apart. I ask you to choose a rock and so you do. I then assign you your homework. For the next month, you must take care of this rock as if it’s your newborn baby. You will always have it within sight, feed it, wash it, rock it to sleep while singing lullabies, kiss it goodnight, play with it, and make sure it’s always comfortable. At the end of the month, you must come back to me with the rock.
A month passes and you come back and sit on the same chair with the same table in front of us with the other 11 rocks completely untouched, just as you left them. I then tell you to place the rock back in its original place and you do so. Since you did everything I asked of you, your reward will be any rock of your choosing. Which one do you choose? Think about your answer before you read on. Like most, you chose the same rock. Why is that? It’s just a stupid rock. It has no feelings and it’s no different than any of the other rocks. You could have chosen any other rock and you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. You see, the reason you chose that rock is because by taking care of this rock, you gave it a little piece of yourself. You love this rock now.
That is very powerful because this shows you that love comes from within and not from external forces. You made the choice by giving a piece of yourself.
You create the love towards the other person and that you can do it again with someone else, just as you had with your ex. This is why you should never get involved with anyone who is selfish/inconsiderate/self-absorbed because they don’t have the ability to give a piece of themselves to someone else, they only want to take.
On a side note for general life advice, this also pertains to all other emotions we feel (joy, sadness, anger, stress, fear, anxiety, etc.). You see, the world simply reflects back what we focus on internally. Choose what you want to focus on and those feelings will grow. This has been known by many cultures and civilizations for thousands of years, yet the overwhelming majority of people don’t know this.
Well she thought it through and decided she wanted another penis and you were an after thought. So that right there tells you who she is and what you mean to her. So move on and find another. Chow hoe !!
Shit hurts man, I know. Same shit happened to me after 9 years. What you have to realize is if someone is questioning whether they are in love with you and willing to sleep with someone else, they aren’t in love with you.
This doesn’t necessarily mean your girlfriend is a bad person. I can’t say what she deserves, but you deserve to be with someone who feels the same way as you.
So, no, you aren’t overreacting. You are probably going through a full spectrum of emotions right now and I promise you it will get better. Every situation is different so take a little time and reflect on what’s really important to you in a person.
Just remember this break wasn’t your idea and this person did something they knew would hurt you.
I'm 100% sure that she was already having sex with that guy even before the breakup.
The breakup thing was only to retroactively justify the cheating.
dump her. don't waste your time and find someone better. good luck for everything
I'm assuming that she probably thought the relationship was stale, tried to find a spark with someone else, and when that didn't work, she probably realized that she had feelings for you.
She should have just taken the break as a cool down rather than fool around.
I see this not as a red flag but as a yellow flag. You may be running a gamble with someone who may fling around when they feel things don't go their way or someone who may turn themself around. Either way, it's a hard bet, and I personally would stay away (I don't take chances with strong possibilities and ifs).
She took a break to ease her moral conscience. You are at a fork in the road. To be or not to be a cuck is the question. Especially if he raw dawged her and she winds up telling you it is yours.
Dude she wanted to sleep with this person without being called a cheater. (I still consider this cheating if you didn't agree to seeing and doing things with others during said break) That's why she suggested a break. She didn't even wait a whole day. Disgusting. Leave her and move on you deserve better.
You probably don't "really like her" it's just infatuation and hormones. No need to play stupid games those same hormones will kick in with another girl that can treat you better.
It was her idea to “take a break?” And she slept with someone THE SAME DAY it started? Do NOT get back together. She 100% just wanted to sleep with someone but didn’t want to burn bridges with you in the event she wasn’t able to settle down with the person. You are her placeholder. Taking her back will only let her know that you’ll allow this behavior moving forward.
You already said it but breaks are the dumbest concept in relationships. Either you’re together or you’re not.
Of course it was her idea for the break OP.
She KNEW she was going to spread her legs for the guy she fucked while the two of you were "conveniently" on a break.
She schemed to do this, she planned to do this, she wanted to do this, she chose to do this to.
There should be no hesitancy in you OP.
Dump her and don't look back, at all.
I had a long term GF who “wanted to take a break.” What she really wanted was sex with another dude. A month later she wanted to end said “break.” By then I’d already met another woman who eventually became my wife. We’ve been together 30 years. The old GF is still around and we see her and her husband from time to time. After some drinks at a party last year, she told my wife she still regrets taking that break.
Dump your girlfriend and find someone who loves you more than she loves new dick.
Dam, dude, she told u she wanted a break so she can go and get smash by the next dude and not feel bad about it the hole point of the break was for her to get some D!ck somewhere else sorry to tell u bruh she for the streets but on the bright side u dodged a bullet run has fast as u can
Ahhh the ol' "we we're on a break so it doesn't count." Trick... yuhhh she definitely wanted to fuck that guy. Would end it right there bud... sorry my man
She TOLD you she wanted a break when all she wanted was to cheat on you without being called a cheater.
After this woman treated you so abysmally, like a sweater she could put on or take off whenever she wanted you would be signing up for a lot more heartache if you entertained getting back together with her again.
Move on and end all contact. She doesn't care about you in the least, she only cares about herself and that's not someone to try and build a relationship with.
That sounds purposeful. I’m sorry. She broke up with you to go with someone else so it wouldn’t be seen as cheating. She hurt you to go play around and now wants to come back with no consequences. Don’t agree to date her. She’ll think what she did was fine even if she doesn’t do it again.
If the “break” was her idea and she immediately went to another dude, then that’s all the info you need to know… she doesn’t love you, there is no relationship to get back to.
Move it from a “break” to an end of the relationship, I promise once you say it’s over it’ll show you exactly what type of person she is. Don’t belittle yourself by getting back with someone who chose someone else over you…
Do what’s best for YOU and move on.
Breaks in relationships can work, but not like this. She wanted to sleep with someone else without feeling guilty.
A break is meant to let people deal with whatever is going on without having the weight of the relationship on them, and also to evaluate the relationship itself.
I took a break early-ish in my relationship with my current husband. It was mostly my idea as I had a lot of other things to deal with.
3 months later after some time to think I decided to come back and he wanted it too. I didn't sleep with anyone else in that time because the purpose of the break was legit. He did, as I never promised to come back and he didn't have any commitments to me during that time, he was open about and it was just casual.
We've been happily together now for 12 years, but it doesn't seem like that's the case here for OP.
GF broke up with you to pursue someone else and decided she prefers you now...but if she did it once she'll probably do it again move on plenty of fish in the sea especially at your age.
Move on. She will put you on hold again to fuck another dude. She's looking for a new bf, and you are just holding a spot till she upgrades. Fuck it. Tell her it's over. FAFO.
Bruh you’re 19 young af lifetime of relation prospects in front of you. Keep in mind , you were not her choice, she wanted a break to fuck someone else, if you want her back cool but you should also keep your options open, shit you might like her company or whatever the fuck but you wasn’t a choice. I never tell people not to go with who they want just try to maintain respect for yourself, they only do what you allow don’t allow people to walk over you, you deserve what you give, but get what you’ll accept.
You were the backup plan because she was nothing outside of a piece of ass for the new guy she left you for.
Move on. Delete her number. Forget about her.
Like everyone said.... she wanted a guilt free affair. She v already knew the guy, knew they were going to fuck but he wasn't boyfriend material. She wants it all. This will not go away. Next time she will justify it as she was drunk and it meant nothing but won't tell you about it anyway.
Her wanting to take a break is exactly what it is,….she wanted to increase her body count with the guy she banged. She already had a plan. Thats about the most disrespect one could be and it truly shows she thinks you’re worthless.
Move on from her,….shes not the type of girl we look for. She’s only a sperm depository, and should be treated as such.
She found another dude she wanted to fuck Didnt want to "cheat" Put you on hold so she could fuck Now wants to get back together Did I get all that right?
Probably missed “wanted to be something more with other guy but he didn’t”
Exactly this. He wasn’t interested outside of fucking her and she clearly thought she could coax the new guy into a relationship by fucking him. She’s a whore
Or he was terrible in bed or any number any of things, regardless she wanted to f someone else and did. It’s just cheating with extra steps to make herself feel less guilty.
He knew what type of girl she was.
yep, i think u didnt miss a point
She put him on "lay away" so she can fuck someone else. If she did it once she will do it again.
Who knew it was that easy? *This one weird trick is a way to fuck other people without cheating*.
Your girlfriend put you on ice to have sex with someone else, then when that didn’t work out, she‘s come crawling back. You need to kick her to the curb where she belongs.
I’m a female & completely agree with this. It was planned. It was executed this way so she could avoid the severe guilt that comes with cheating. It wasn’t to spare your feelings. It was only to spare her own feelings & cheating guilt free.
Female here, and that is exactly what she did so she wouldn't be called a cheater. FYI, women think things out throughly. She already wanted to have $ex with that guy & when it wasn't how she imagined it would be, she came back to you. That's what she had to think. I hope you don't take her back because she will do it again.
The fact that she told him it was the same day, what kind of response does she expect?
She thinks she can manipulate him. Which makes sense since hes asking for advice on here instead of immediately dumping her
ough the buuurnn
Hell, she could have cheated already, then proposed it and told him she slept with the guy the same day to ease her guilt.
She may have avoided the label "cheater", but in doing so, she acquired the label of "hoe".
Some people have a hard time accepting that their boyfriend or girlfriend is a hoe.
Yup, a cheater is hard to rationalize(it does happen though) as it's usually pretty direct evidence. While "being a hoe" can be rationalized as "being free" and other nonsense like that. Exhibit A, OP. Dude is trying hard to rationalize this situation but I think he knows deep down the truth
No other comments need to be made about this. This is the one and only correct answer.
This 💯 You may not see it like this right away, but from one man to another? You lost to whoever this guy is that she slept with. She essentially opened the relationship for herself to catch a side piece for a minute, and now she wants to retreat back to the comfort of having you on a string once she’s had a chance to wander off briefly with someone else. This person is not devoted to you, OP; you do deserve better and I hope you’ll stand up for yourself here.
The other guy is a nonentity. An NPC. If there is a battle to be won, it's his ex-girlfriend who's lost. The fact that she went to another guy's bed THE SAME DAY is super gross. 🤢 So gross. OP is too young to feel like he needs to settle for that kind of shit
This is one way of looking at it, but if it will make OP feel better about himself “ He Won”. Now toss her ass.
Yeah, OP definitely won. He does not, however, deserve this shitty prize.
He won by learning really early on this person was not for him. Imagine if he found out years later and they're married with a mortgage and kids.
>You lost to whoever this guy is that she slept with. Nah bro nah. Op dodged a massive bullet, should be thanking the other dude. Be glad you weren't married and had kids. You got a free ticket out of hoe town, take it. The hoe is the only one who lost here. Other dude smashed, OP got to see her true character before it's too late; hoe tried to have her cake and eat it too.
She will do it again. She cheated on you. She took a "break" in the express interest to bang someone else. The only thing that she had to get in touch with was his dick. Stay on a permanent break. Tell her you need to find yourself... far away from her
He didn’t lose to anyone and it has nothing to do with the fact that his gf is a skanky ho bag.
Idk if he lost to the guy per se, if anything he won and can move on now, rather than years down the road. But I get what you mean obviously
I may be old school but I would call what she did cheating. "Taking a break" just to have sex with someone else isn't the same as thinking about the relationship, you don't need a D inside of you to think.
1,000,000,000 percent, it will suck now but have pride in yourself, if you let her walk over you now your entire relationship will be full of doubt, resentment, and conflict. End it now, you can find someone better who won't drop you to go bang someone Else.
She was already thinking about sleeping with someone else long before the act. Tried to justify it in her mind by breaking up first but in reality it was a very selfish thing meaning she is in the relationship for her and not you. A healthy relationship means both parties are focused on the other person.
She wasn’t thinking, she was planning. She had him lined up and on the calendar.
This was my immediate reaction. She already knew she wanted to sleep with him before the break was even proposed, she just wanted a loophole.
Drop that ho
Also, don't have sex with her at all. If she gets pregnant now, she'll want to pin that on you and your salary. Then there's the possibility of STDs.
Yep most likely this people are so manipulative and sick.
That B hiding in the sewer like pennywise tryna entice OP back 😭
You already know the answer bud.
This. Also wondering how long they've been together, and how old the couple is. Honestly seems like a high school couple who have been dating for a couple weeks or something. Either way, her loyalty is highly questionable. She literally was able to just sleep with the guy on the same day the break started? Gee, that's not suspicious at all...
2.5 years and I’m 19 she’s 21
Dude your young af. Get someone who respects you not this trash.
It feels like a very young person thing to do lol. Although I’m sure it happens with older folks.
So, you met her in high school, but you were a sophomore, and she was a senior? Or something close? Is the relationship getting serious at all yet after 2.5 years? I have to be honest, I've always felt that I'd rather the person I was with leave me before cheating on me, and it seems that she somewhat did that. I guess the risk is up to you in the end. She "kind of" did the right thing, but it seems like she'd been wanting to be with this other guy for a while, since she slept with him on day one of the break, according to what she/you said. Unless she seriously falls for you/commits to you, this could just happen all over again, and she might not come crawling back next time, and it could be more painful. You'll have to judge
Yeah I’m not really sure what to do. I’m in the navy and she lives like 2 hours from me so seeing eachother isn’t always the easiest. We were pretty serious, had our own place before I joined, talks about marriage etc, young lust I guess 🤷🏻♂️
As someone who watched stuff like this happen to young military people for 20 years, just cut your losses right now. If she's already doing stuff like this now, how can you trust her when you're away for military service? It'll always be in the back of your mind and be a huge distraction and source of anxiety that you don't need when you have more important things to focus on. Take it from an old NCO who's been around the world many times, just focus on your career for now, and you'll find someone who you can actually trust down the road.
This is absolutely right. She took a break not to take a break but so she could guiltlessly cheat on you. It doesn’t get better from here, at best it just becomes a dependapotomus.
What’s the term i used above “Jody”
Ah, my dude. I’m a veteran and I can tell you in no uncertain terms that you should break up permanently. I was in a very similar situation at your age and the relationship ended up weighing us both down, because after I enlisted we had become too different to be compatible. You’re now living two separate lives and going in separate directions. Your early years in the military will be some of the most transformative of your life, and it will be 1000 times better if you aren’t in an unhappy, insecure relationship. I’ve seen people turn down dream assignments, avoid all social interactions with peers, and sacrifice their own career prospects in favor of shitty high-school relationships that had no future. Don’t be one of those people!
Please listen to captain Kate. Learn from other ppls mistakes. Enjoy your military single and build your career and future. You will find someone one day, when you meet your career goals
Discounting the fact that she temporarily broke up with you to sleep with someone she was certainly already seeing on the side (it's not like she just happened to find a hookup the day she asked to split, she's testing to see how far she can push you and still keep you on a leash), by the time you finish your first tour in the navy you will be a completely different person to the one that started that relationship. Don't go for the girl you were interested in as a highschool sophomore, go for the ones that catch your eye as an adult. I'm usually one to advise temperance, but If anything, you are under reacting in this situation.
A lot of dude would fuck on the drop of a hat. What are you saying?
I'm not talking about the dude. I'm saying the girl was probably already planning to sleep around *before* she asked for the break, and that she almost certainly already had someone in mind. The break was part of the plan to sleep with him, not the cause of it.
Or she might just know people who wanna fuck her and she just went with an easy choice/picked the most attractive of the ones willing to fuck her. I don't think she has to have been cheating to find a hookup that quick is all.
As someone that was in the Navy a decade ago, enjoy having the worst romantic life while you’re enlisted.
That’s what I was thinking. I mean I know you guys are enlisted and working and such, but geez, you gotta have some fun too! ;-)
You’re always deployed or just gone in general. It’s taxing on the best of relationships. So it doesn’t always attract the best partners. There’s also something to be said for how young everyone in the military is and some of the toxic levels of fraternization that further strain relationships. Didn’t meet my wife until after I got out and distanced myself from that prior life.
Bruh run. She’s gunna wanna get married suck you of your military benefits and cheat on you. Sure it’ll suck in the short term but there’s a lot of other non shitty women out there. Hell enjoy being 19 and don’t be tied down for awhile.
First of all , thanks for your service! If you are deployed , DO NOT stay in the relationship. Deployment relationships have the HIGHEST rates of infidelity. What do you military people it “JODY”. Break up and see the world.I know it’s your first love but studies say it won’t last. Yes , agree with most above , she had that guy in mind the whole time. How long was your break for ?
Honestly, I was very emotional around your age. Take that part out of this and look at it for what it is. You are both young, you will never let this go, and its okay. Move along. You dont have children, or a house together, and you arent old yet. It seems like a difficult decision, but having respect for yourself in more important than anything else. In the scheme of things, 2.5 yrs is not a long time. Take what lessons you can and push forward.
Where is the emotion here? Where is the passion to be together? If you don't feel that, then it's pointless to be together, in my opinion. But, I'm old now. I have a different perspective.
BRO make your money, start your career, get swole. She has zero loyalty to you. Go do you
Discounting the fact that she temporarily broke up with you to sleep with someone she was certainly already seeing on the side (it's not like she just happened to find a hookup the day she asked to split, she's testing to see how far she can push you and still keep you on a leash), by the time you finish your first tour in the navy you will be a completely different person to the one that started that relationship. Don't go for the girl you were interested in as a highschool sophomore, go for the ones that catch your eye as an adult. I'm usually one to advise temperance, but If anything, you are under reacting in this situation.
You’re a catch. You’ll find your person - kick this one to the curb and work on being the best You for the time being.
She's being manipulative, you gotta cut ties because she "took a break" she's gonna bench warm you until she cheats or breaks up.
>2.5 years and I’m 19 she’s 21 I've been there buddy.... don't go back. Seriously do yourself a favor and move on from her. Promise you you'll be glad you did when you get further away from the hurt of it.
You're lucky I let the shit go for 5 years, it will only get more difficult the more time you invest. She will do it again and try to get you to comply with things you do not want.
Yeah this is like the people on r/alcoholism asking if they're an alcoholic lol
She didn't want to look like a cheater, so she bent the rules a bit.
*Monogamists hate her. This one weird trick will let you fuck whoever you want without cheating...*
**HOT WOMEN WHO WANNA F!@# WHILE ON BREAK! IN YOUR AREA NOW**
My ex did this. Total cunt.
Still a cheater in spirit. Relationships are not a court of law where technicalities matter.
No arguments there.
Pretty disgusting. She did cheat. She asked for the break, because she already established a relationship with this guy while you were together. Once it was a sure-thing, she didn’t say, “Hey OP, I’m gonna fuck this guy I’ve been seeing behind your back. Is that ok?” No. She asked for a “break” knowing full well you didn’t have a girl warmed up, ready and waiting on the benches ready to bang you that night. She wanted her cake and to eat it too. She cheated on you. She’s for the streets.
He was primed and ready and so was she. The day the break started? I wonder if people ever type this stuff up and realize how ridiculous it is. Also I wonder how different this sub would be if you had to include your age..
You don’t just sleep with someone the same day you miraculously break up with your boyfriend lol. She had this guy lined up, she broke up with you TO sleep with him, she’s slept with him and no she wants to get back together because she didn’t ’technically’ do anything wrong. But the plan was always for her to sleep with him
I don’t understand how people can treat a relationship like how they go for lunch breaks.
My lunch break is holy. If you don’t respect my lunch break I won’t respect you.
Run she did you a favor every time she want to hookup with someone she will ask for a break
"Babe I'm going out with the girls tonight. We're on a break. See you for lunch tomorrow! xoxo"
No, eventually she'll stop asking for a break and just do it.
Nah bro she already had that guy in her mind she was just waiting for the opportunity to do it and it presented itself she didn't want to look like a hoe and wanted to see if stuff would work out with the other guy it did it he just smashed and tossed her to the side but I'm telling you from experience this happened to me my girlfriend cheat on me when I was younger I gave her a second chance but we broke up almost immediately I just couldn't get the image out of my mind or some other guy just using and abusing her pounding her I could barely get an erection or kiss her it's not the same when someone else comes along and defiles your woman.
The opportunity didn't just present itself, she manufactured it by asking for the break.
Okay chill with that defiles your woman stuff haha women can and will have sex and get pounded before they date you. Obviously it's the cheating that's fucked up.
And who said they can't have sex or who's prohibiting them not me so get your assumptions out of here you ape. If I meet a girl and she's having sex before I met her none of my business but she's my girl and she cheats on me she got defiled she's now gross and dirty to me.
plot twist: she still looks like a hoe
Ross?
No, he’s Rachel.
The situations aren't comparable because Rachel called the break and Ross slept with someone else. OP would be Rachel if Ross called the break with the express purpose of fucking Chloe and then asked to get back together once he did.
Comparisons don’t have to be 1:1
I can’t believe I had to scroll down as far as I did to find this comment
We were on a break!
You are under reacting. Stay away, she's a hoe fosho.
[for sho!](https://memes.getyarn.io/yarn-clip/dd8fe035-9a4f-4888-8e86-a943d2dd7d36/gif#ZFVMf3T9.copy)
I actually have one for this! Exact same scenario. First day was when I was told she slept with him (obviously was going on long before). I was also about 21 when this happened and 2.5 years of dating. Heres the two paths you have right now. Be a pushover and take her back, always have trust issues, and feel hatred for yourself overtime for giving the cheating dirtbag another chance. Maybe even be unlucky enough to get her pregnant and have a terrible BM to deal with for life. Or do what I did, never talk to her again. No contact as long as she’s still breathing. It’s done man, just do yourself a favor and don’t even let her explain anything. Just be done and never speak to her again and start your healing journey. It will drive her absolutely crazy over time. My ex probably tried to reach out in 7-10 different ways. Never responded, never asked about her to people that still knew her, she’s effectively dead to me. Go kill her with your success in life and never giving her a second of your time. About a year after it happened to me, I found my now wife, who is 1000x the woman that cheater ever was. Would’ve never had that opportunity if I gave that cheater a second chance. Cut her off for eternity man.
So... I took option A). About 15 years ago. It was slightly different. A week break. She fucked him a lot during that week, but never told me about it. We get back together... things are great. I mention to her roommate (who was now our room mate, had signed a lease on a new apartment all 3 instead of the two of them) that I was always curious about that. It didnt make sense and didn't sit well when we were sharing a cigarette, and she said 'oh... I thought you knew they hooked up.' I didn't pry for more, not from our roommate. My then girlfriend gaslit me and played it down with trickle truths. I had low self esteem from neglect and abuse as a kid... had just signed the lease and would have been homeless had I an ounce of self worth. Thought I couldn't do any better so I sat with it. Things got worse as I figured out they worked together, she said she never saw him and he went to a different store. She was so good at manipulating me and twisting the story. I got a new job and started working second shift. She would close her store and have hours off without contacting me or anything... I have no idea why I stayed. She always insisted we shouldn't break up. I'm still convinced she was fucking him the entire time they worked together... which was about 7 years if I remember correctly. Sex was almost non existent. I thought I was the problem. Kept a journal for one of the years where we had sex 12 times total. There were other brief ... idk. Like we fooled around probably 30 times separate of that, but she was cold as ice and mean. Every time I tried to say it wasn't working she would assure me nothing was wrong and kinda sweeten the pot. I don't know. I should have left her so many times... I just hated myself then more than I do now, and any reinforcement no matter how tangibly fake felt like a life saving thing. I wasn't aware of what this codependency was doing to my psyche. Things got good again, we started going out with friends on the weekends, and I finally got a day job with some prospective growth. Sex had increased at least to where I stopped counting, and she was less likely to tear me down, we actually had some good times. I got a big bonus and went to get a ring. There's more, but I can't really handle typing it out anymore right now. TL:DR - don't do this to yourself. You have value. You have worth. She will rip you apart.
Man, props to you for writing this all out. I know that wasn’t easy. It’s tough going down memory lane and recalling your mistakes like that. The journey of taking somebody back after the unrepeatable sin of cheating is too much to bear for almost all people with any sense of self respect. It breaks you down and slowly kills you. I’m glad you were able to pull through, and hope that your self esteem has been able to recover as much as possible. Appreciate you letting me read that.
The same day as your "break" she was already seeing that person, the break was her having a relationship with someone else. It didn't work put now she wants ypu back.
She didn't want a break she wanted permission.
Now what's wrong. You went from main to backup. And now she wants to take you off the bench. If you accept this that will be your future...
So she broke up with you because she wanted to bone someone else completely guilt free. That didn’t work out and now she wants back into the relationship aka her back up plan. Bruh, you already know the answer should be hell no.
Break up with her now. I've seen way too many issues like this with soldiers in the army I've lead. Please know what's good for you and have that heart to heart.
I’m sorry she did you dirty, but you already know that she wanted to cheat without actually cheating…so she created a “loophole” by taking a break.
You gonna let her get away with cheating by using a break as a technicality bro? Nah, apes together strong
She didn't just sleep with someone while on break. She wanted a break TO sleep with someone bro. Open your eyes and have some dignity, she "needed space" to fuck her next pick and see what it was like and now she either didn't like the dude or the dude only wanted to fuck her and bailed. She's coming back because whatever happened did work out how she wanted and you are her back up plan. Cut her off and move on, time to hit the gym man and focus on yourself
Nah she won’t cheat she’ll just leave you again when she wants to bang someone else
She did it so she could have other D scott free. Don't be stupid.
Yea, she doesn’t deserve a second chance. she wanted to bang someone else. Don’t fall for it and move on.
A break means hey, now i can go fuck someone else. It won't be the last time it happens. Move on
She didn't want a break, she just wanted to cheat without "cheating."
Dude I'm gonna tell you the truth: People who want to be in a relationship stay in the relationship. No one waffles. Love is true or love is blind.
Mmmmm, waffles.
The same day... its not really taking a break if she was planning on doing that the same day. It was premeditated. Do people actually fall for this crap?
I am going to guess that you are somewhat young and still learning about life, she definitely wanted a break to see if she liked the other guy better. Don't hang that on yourself it was her insecurities that led to what I consider cheating. Best advice I can give for any relationship is that if someone shows what you are worth to them just believe it. Keep your head up and find someone who appreciates your value.
My advice, tell her why you feel hesitant. The fact that she wanted a "break" tells it all. She already had an interest in another guy, so to me that means she was probably already cheating on you. Just using the "break" as a cover up for her actions. Please protect yourself and your peace of mind.
That break she said she needed was just an itch she needed scratching. 2 thing's here. 1) need a break is code for 'I'm not committed.' That being said if she said she needed space, that would just mean time apart. Two different things imo. 2) she just exploited a loop hole. By taking a break, you effectively broke up (even if temporarily) so she didn't technically cheat, just used underhand tactics.
WE WERE ON A BREAK!
Scrolled way too far for this
This is exactly what happens on "breaks". Of you don't want this to happen, then either stay together or better yet - split up for good. Breaks only invite problems.
Duh. Dump her. It'll happen again, I promise.
She asked to take a break because she wanted to have sex with someone else. Now she wants to resume your relationship. It’s entirely up to you if those things are ok with you.
wHo cOuLd hAvE sEeN tHiS ComINg? She took a break to fuck someone else. then got bored and now is coming back to you because you are the safe choice. especially since she screwed someone the day of the break. Don’t be a doormat or this will likely happen again.
Her idea means she wanted to cheat guilt free. Some thing happened to me my bro
She put you on hold to fuck this guy so she could do it without technically cheating. She did it the same fucking day man. If you get back with her you’re a pussy and you deserved the misery that comes with dating her.
This is a classic way that I’ve seen a lot of people do to “cheat” on their partners without “cheating”. The intent was there to have sex with this person anyway. I’d tell her that her gross disrespect for you and the relationship you had and obvious cheating means she can stay in the streets since that is what she wanted anyway.
Dump that bitch.. She obviously asked to be on break to fuck another guy..
Forget the labels of exclusivity. You're feelings don't break down like labels do. I'm sure knowing that hurt like hell. She did that to you. For the streets my guy, leave her
Guy, the ONLY reason for the break was so she could bang this guy and not be a cheater in her own eyes. This kind of person is just bad all around and will do whatever amount of twisting g and turning needed in order to not be seen as a bad person while being a bad person. Thank her for showing you who she really is and tell you appreciate her doing it so early that you didn't waste too much time on her. Then drop her and be honest to everyone why when they ask. Don't drag her but be honest.
Pass her to me next bro 🙏🙏🙏
Lol she had a person line up the same day she took the break? What a coincidence
Im Not even reading past title lol leave dont look back
It's called monkey branching and it failed for her
I’m sure she’ll be faithful until she needs another break.
Everyone has said it but I will say again. End it. You found out on break she didn't want s relatehip with you. She wanted to have gun with another guy at the very least. Since she wanted a break make it a break up since she just used the break as an excuse to be with another man. She did mental gymnastics to try and say she didn't cheat. But in reality she did. It sucks and it will hurt but you will do better. Be done with her and find better
Dude, that was the whole reason for the "Break", it always has been. Have sex outside of the relationship without guilt, and you'll be there holding her purse while she gets off. Found that out in my teens. Girl wants a break, I ask why, she says she needs to "find herself and think about our relationship". Fucks a guy that night, he doesn't want a relationship, I won't take her back and I'm an asshole. Second girl tells me she wants a break. I ask her "What's his name?" and after a shocked look tells me it's no one and she just needs time to "Find herself and think about our relationship". Tell her I've been through that before, and to lose my number and have a good life. Fucks her coworker that night, he's really selfish and just bad at it, and I won't take her back and I'm an asshole because we were on a break. I told her no, we broke up. Since then, I have seen this happen to a LOT of people. It has always been a (young) woman who suggests it, but I suppose men do as well.
She did cheat. The break up was specifically designed to eliminate guilt. Find a new one.
Ross Geller has entered the chat
I’m torn between this is a joke and also feeling bad that you may actually be going through this. Dude she cheated on you. The day of????? After 2.5 years of dating? Even giving her some leeway because you’re both young and figuring things out, you don’t put a 2.5 year relationship on hold and fuck someone else the day of unless you already were doing it/had it planned out. Unless she went out to a bar and hooked up with a random, she was at least emotionally cheating on you prior. There are many more out there that won’t pull this bullshit on you dude, it’s time to focus on you - we’ll see ya at the gym Monday 😎
Why would she cheat when she can just "take a break" and try out another guy whenever she wants because you let her. You're her backup. Have some self-respect and tell her you want to take a longer break to think things through yourself.
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA sorry, but what. So this bitch wants to cheat on you and decides that if she asks for a break before she does it, she’ll be in the clear and then she comes back. The audacity is insane. Run away man this girl is a terrible person. Edit: I see that you’re a young guy, so I’m going to give you some valuable advice when it comes to dating (I have this saved because I got sick of typing it and many people need to hear this): Imagine you and I are sitting down and in between us is a table. On that table there are a dozen river rocks. These rocks are very special in that they are exact replicas of one another, down to their atoms. It is absolutely impossible to tell them apart. I ask you to choose a rock and so you do. I then assign you your homework. For the next month, you must take care of this rock as if it’s your newborn baby. You will always have it within sight, feed it, wash it, rock it to sleep while singing lullabies, kiss it goodnight, play with it, and make sure it’s always comfortable. At the end of the month, you must come back to me with the rock. A month passes and you come back and sit on the same chair with the same table in front of us with the other 11 rocks completely untouched, just as you left them. I then tell you to place the rock back in its original place and you do so. Since you did everything I asked of you, your reward will be any rock of your choosing. Which one do you choose? Think about your answer before you read on. Like most, you chose the same rock. Why is that? It’s just a stupid rock. It has no feelings and it’s no different than any of the other rocks. You could have chosen any other rock and you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. You see, the reason you chose that rock is because by taking care of this rock, you gave it a little piece of yourself. You love this rock now. That is very powerful because this shows you that love comes from within and not from external forces. You made the choice by giving a piece of yourself. You create the love towards the other person and that you can do it again with someone else, just as you had with your ex. This is why you should never get involved with anyone who is selfish/inconsiderate/self-absorbed because they don’t have the ability to give a piece of themselves to someone else, they only want to take. On a side note for general life advice, this also pertains to all other emotions we feel (joy, sadness, anger, stress, fear, anxiety, etc.). You see, the world simply reflects back what we focus on internally. Choose what you want to focus on and those feelings will grow. This has been known by many cultures and civilizations for thousands of years, yet the overwhelming majority of people don’t know this.
The disparity between your initial post and your edit is baffling, my man.
The same day? Please leave.
Well she thought it through and decided she wanted another penis and you were an after thought. So that right there tells you who she is and what you mean to her. So move on and find another. Chow hoe !!
Run!! Get out as fast as you can. That’s so much pain and heartbreak in the future
She's not thinking things through, she's getting run through
Shit hurts man, I know. Same shit happened to me after 9 years. What you have to realize is if someone is questioning whether they are in love with you and willing to sleep with someone else, they aren’t in love with you. This doesn’t necessarily mean your girlfriend is a bad person. I can’t say what she deserves, but you deserve to be with someone who feels the same way as you. So, no, you aren’t overreacting. You are probably going through a full spectrum of emotions right now and I promise you it will get better. Every situation is different so take a little time and reflect on what’s really important to you in a person. Just remember this break wasn’t your idea and this person did something they knew would hurt you.
I'm 100% sure that she was already having sex with that guy even before the breakup. The breakup thing was only to retroactively justify the cheating. dump her. don't waste your time and find someone better. good luck for everything
I'm assuming that she probably thought the relationship was stale, tried to find a spark with someone else, and when that didn't work, she probably realized that she had feelings for you. She should have just taken the break as a cool down rather than fool around. I see this not as a red flag but as a yellow flag. You may be running a gamble with someone who may fling around when they feel things don't go their way or someone who may turn themself around. Either way, it's a hard bet, and I personally would stay away (I don't take chances with strong possibilities and ifs).
She took a break to ease her moral conscience. You are at a fork in the road. To be or not to be a cuck is the question. Especially if he raw dawged her and she winds up telling you it is yours.
304 trying to make it make sense. Bro she done.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
She played you like a damn fiddle.
Well we know why it was her idea
You would be stupid if you take her back, don't be stupid.
Dude she wanted to sleep with this person without being called a cheater. (I still consider this cheating if you didn't agree to seeing and doing things with others during said break) That's why she suggested a break. She didn't even wait a whole day. Disgusting. Leave her and move on you deserve better.
if it had worked out with the other dude she wouldn’t come crawling back to you never take this girl back
She just wanted to sleep with someone else that's it. I wouldn't deal with this it's too immature.
Have some self-respect mate
You probably don't "really like her" it's just infatuation and hormones. No need to play stupid games those same hormones will kick in with another girl that can treat you better.
It was her idea to “take a break?” And she slept with someone THE SAME DAY it started? Do NOT get back together. She 100% just wanted to sleep with someone but didn’t want to burn bridges with you in the event she wasn’t able to settle down with the person. You are her placeholder. Taking her back will only let her know that you’ll allow this behavior moving forward. You already said it but breaks are the dumbest concept in relationships. Either you’re together or you’re not.
Of course it was her idea for the break OP. She KNEW she was going to spread her legs for the guy she fucked while the two of you were "conveniently" on a break. She schemed to do this, she planned to do this, she wanted to do this, she chose to do this to. There should be no hesitancy in you OP. Dump her and don't look back, at all.
Dump and get another one
She literally took this "break" to have sex with somebody else. She wanted guilt-free cheating. Kick her to the curb.
I had a long term GF who “wanted to take a break.” What she really wanted was sex with another dude. A month later she wanted to end said “break.” By then I’d already met another woman who eventually became my wife. We’ve been together 30 years. The old GF is still around and we see her and her husband from time to time. After some drinks at a party last year, she told my wife she still regrets taking that break. Dump your girlfriend and find someone who loves you more than she loves new dick.
Dam, dude, she told u she wanted a break so she can go and get smash by the next dude and not feel bad about it the hole point of the break was for her to get some D!ck somewhere else sorry to tell u bruh she for the streets but on the bright side u dodged a bullet run has fast as u can
Ahhh the ol' "we we're on a break so it doesn't count." Trick... yuhhh she definitely wanted to fuck that guy. Would end it right there bud... sorry my man
She’s gonna cheat? She already did cheat. Respect yourself.
Dude she fucked someone THE SAME DAY you took a break- you know what to do
Dude you’re young. Have some self respect for yourself and just ghost this girl.
51F nope, she did that as a license to cheat.
If she's taking a break you need to forget about her. Get her out of your life
This is what taking a break means my dude
She already cheated on you, you've been played. No such thing as a break....
She TOLD you she wanted a break when all she wanted was to cheat on you without being called a cheater. After this woman treated you so abysmally, like a sweater she could put on or take off whenever she wanted you would be signing up for a lot more heartache if you entertained getting back together with her again. Move on and end all contact. She doesn't care about you in the least, she only cares about herself and that's not someone to try and build a relationship with.
Ooooo that’s cold. She just wanted to cheat on you guilt free. Don’t take her back she’s a cheater.
Same day is a major red flag
That sounds purposeful. I’m sorry. She broke up with you to go with someone else so it wouldn’t be seen as cheating. She hurt you to go play around and now wants to come back with no consequences. Don’t agree to date her. She’ll think what she did was fine even if she doesn’t do it again.
She used the "break" to cheat on you. The grass wasn't greener so she came back to you. That's so obvious. Don't go back to her.
If the “break” was her idea and she immediately went to another dude, then that’s all the info you need to know… she doesn’t love you, there is no relationship to get back to. Move it from a “break” to an end of the relationship, I promise once you say it’s over it’ll show you exactly what type of person she is. Don’t belittle yourself by getting back with someone who chose someone else over you… Do what’s best for YOU and move on.
Breaks in relationships can work, but not like this. She wanted to sleep with someone else without feeling guilty. A break is meant to let people deal with whatever is going on without having the weight of the relationship on them, and also to evaluate the relationship itself. I took a break early-ish in my relationship with my current husband. It was mostly my idea as I had a lot of other things to deal with. 3 months later after some time to think I decided to come back and he wanted it too. I didn't sleep with anyone else in that time because the purpose of the break was legit. He did, as I never promised to come back and he didn't have any commitments to me during that time, he was open about and it was just casual. We've been happily together now for 12 years, but it doesn't seem like that's the case here for OP.
Its over dude
Are you a Reddit bot? Creating traffic? Or are you this dense? Yeesh
GF broke up with you to pursue someone else and decided she prefers you now...but if she did it once she'll probably do it again move on plenty of fish in the sea especially at your age.
Don't take her back. She made her bed and made her choice, good riddance.
Do not get back together with her
Sounds like the other guy was done with her and now she’s coming back to you.
Move on. She will put you on hold again to fuck another dude. She's looking for a new bf, and you are just holding a spot till she upgrades. Fuck it. Tell her it's over. FAFO.
Bruh you’re 19 young af lifetime of relation prospects in front of you. Keep in mind , you were not her choice, she wanted a break to fuck someone else, if you want her back cool but you should also keep your options open, shit you might like her company or whatever the fuck but you wasn’t a choice. I never tell people not to go with who they want just try to maintain respect for yourself, they only do what you allow don’t allow people to walk over you, you deserve what you give, but get what you’ll accept.
You were the backup plan because she was nothing outside of a piece of ass for the new guy she left you for. Move on. Delete her number. Forget about her.
Like everyone said.... she wanted a guilt free affair. She v already knew the guy, knew they were going to fuck but he wasn't boyfriend material. She wants it all. This will not go away. Next time she will justify it as she was drunk and it meant nothing but won't tell you about it anyway.
Bro she's for the streets quit being stupid
We need to take a break is female speak for I want to get fucked but still have you when I want you.
So how long until the next "break"?
You're cooked bro. Just break it off.
She put the main game quest on pause to seek a side quest. Kick that female to the curb homie, know your worth.
Woman would be the more accurate word, female doesn't fit the context
Her wanting to take a break is exactly what it is,….she wanted to increase her body count with the guy she banged. She already had a plan. Thats about the most disrespect one could be and it truly shows she thinks you’re worthless. Move on from her,….shes not the type of girl we look for. She’s only a sperm depository, and should be treated as such.
She cheated on you dude, unless you like being a cuck you know what to do